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					                   Chapters 5 & 6




Authentic Relationships


 discover the lost art of “One Anothering”


                     By Wayne Jacobsen and Clay
                     Jacobsen
Part 2 - Opening the Door

Every friend you have today was once a
stranger who crossed your path. Friendships
begin in simple moments offered by a warm
smile, a gentle word, or a kind act. They open
the way for us to discover the treasures God
has placed around us.
Part 2 - Opening the Door
Chapter 5 - Initial Contact

NKJ 2 Corinthians 13:12a Greet one another

NIV 1 Peter 4:9a Offer hospitality to one
another

You can make more friend in two months by
becoming interested in other people than you can in
two years by trying to get other people interested in
you
                                Dale Carnegie
Chapter 5 - Initial Contact

•   Hello
•   How are you?
•   G’day
•   Hey!
•   Howdy!
•   Good to see you!
•   Aloha!
•   Whazzup?
•   How is it going?
Chapter 5 - Initial Contact

• Greetings are often just a social courtesy
• We do not expect them, nor take the time, for
  someone to take us seriously and launch into a
  detailed conversation, especially with a stranger
• We have overlooked the importance of greetings
• That is why most churches have a Greeters
  Ministry
• Church greeters are trained to:
   –   smile warmly
   –   shake hands with just the right firmness
   –   know where everything is located
Where relationships Begin

• Most relationships begin with a simple greeting
  offered sincerely
• It can begin a conversation, which in turn can start
  a friendship that can powerfully affect both lives
• We can begin to take the focus off of ourselves
  and put it on others by:
   – Giving a sincere greeting
   – Listening for their response
• You will be amazed at some of the reactions you
  will get and how quickly the door can open to a
  new friendship
A Greeting that Changed a Life

• NKJ John 4:7 A woman of Samaria came to draw
  water. Jesus said to her, "Give Me a drink."
• Jesus “broke the social rules” by speaking to a
  woman and a Samaritan in public
• The interest Jesus show her resulted in many of
  her town believing in Him
• NKJ John 4:39 And many of the Samaritans of
  that city believed in Him because of the word of
  the woman who testified, "He told me all that I
  ever did."
Imparting a Blessing

• Greetings can be used to impart a blessing
• Paul opened nearly all of his epistles (letters) with:
   – “Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from
     the Lord Jesus Christ”
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

• NKJ Acts 2:46 So continuing daily with one
  accord in the temple, and breaking bread from
  house to house, they ate their food with gladness
  and simplicity of heart,
• The early church flourished in the homes of
  believers
• The home provides the perfect setting for
  relationships to get beyond the superficial and
  head into deeper waters
• Friendships begin and take hold in such
  environments where we have the time to explore
  one another’s lives
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (cont.)

• Unfortunately, dinner fellowship has become rare
  in the Body of Christ
• We shy away from hospitality because we
  mistakenly think our homes must be spotless and
  the meal scrumptious
• We are missing the whole point!
• We are not trying to impress people but to be real
• If we do not break away from the need to put on
  our best face (a mask) we will never develop
  genuine relationships
• Just realize everything does not have to be perfect
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (cont.)

• We can order pizza, throw hot dogs on the grill, or
  make sandwiches
• What is important is unhurried time together to let
  people into our lives without partiality
• NKJ James 2:1 My brethren, do not hold the faith of our
  Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality. 2 For
  if there should come into your assembly a man with gold
  rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor
  man in filthy clothes, 3 and you pay attention to the one
  wearing the fine clothes and say to him, "You sit here in a
  good place," and say to the poor man, "You stand there,"
  or, "Sit here at my footstool," 4 have you not shown
  partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil
  thoughts?
Deeper Still

• Spending significant time together opens the door
  to deeper relationships
• Overnight visits allow for getting to know one
  another much better
• One weekend living together with a few people
  can advance small group relationships four to six
  months
• Sociologists tell us that it takes three interpersonal
  contacts a week for a relationship to grow
Leaving Room in the Margins

• If we desire to live a life of one anothering then
  we will have to tackle our struggles with time
• We need to have some margin in our daily
  schedule
• Some discretionary time for an unexpected crisis
  or opportunity
• Realize, opportunities for deepening friendships
  often come in unanticipated moments
• We may be missing a lot of one anothering
  moments simply because we are too busy to
  engage others meaningfully
Leaving Room in the Margins (cont.)

• Do not think of one anothering as one more thing
  to do
• Prayerfully take a look at how busy you are
• Remember that you do not have to meet the needs
  of everybody around you (freedom from
  expectations!)
• We do not have to invite the whole city over at
  once - just invite those you meet one at a time
  (remember how to eat an elephant!)
• Look for ways to add people to the things you
  already do (i.e., hobbies, errand running,
  household projects, and other activities)
You Never Know...

• NKJ Hebrews 13:2 Do not forget to entertain
  strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly
  entertained angels.
• While we may not often meet an angel you will be
  surprised at how much you are blessed by those
  you meet when your live to bless others!
• Take a look around you and see where you can be
  hospitable
• Clear your schedule and invite a friend or
  somebody you may not know well over for food
• The beginning of a priceless friendship is that easy
                     One Anothering
Loving one another (John 13:34)
Forgiving one another (Ephesians 4:32)
Accepting one another (Romans 15:7)
Bearing with one another (Ephesians 4:2)
Being devoted to one another (Romans 12:10)
Honoring one another above ourselves (Romans 12:10)
Greeting one another (2 Corinthians 13:12)
Being hospitable to one another (1Peter 4:9)
Being kind and compassionate to one another (Eph. 4:32)
Sharing with one another (Hebrews 13:16)
    Discussion Questions

• Turn to pages 67, 68
Part 2 - Opening the Door
Chapter 6 - Sharing God’s Kindness

NIV Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and
compassionate to one another

NIV Hebrews 13:16b share with others

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their
echoes are truly endless
                               Mother Teresa
Kindness in a Selfish Age
• NKJ Matthew 24:12 "And because lawlessness
  will abound, the love of many will grow cold.
• In a culture where most people are looking out for
  number one, random acts of kindness stand out as
  brightly as a lighthouse on a moonless night
• “What is in it for you?” they ask with the look of
  mistrust in their eyes when you offer to help for
  no reason
• Kind actions, though often quick and easy to
  accomplish, can echo as eternally as kind words
• When you walk through your day focused on
  others, you will be amazed at the opportunities
  you might otherwise miss
Kindness in a Selfish Age (cont.)
•   Give directions to somebody who looks lost
•   Help a neighbor working in the yard
•   Offer to watch a friend’s child while they are in
    the hospital
•   Stay and help clean up after a home group meeting
•   Let someone step in front of you in line
•   Deliver a cold drink to a Dominion Power lineman
•   Thank a military person for defending our country
Breaking the Cycle
• Showing kindness, even when offended, breaks
  the grudge cycle!
• NKJ Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, wrath,
  anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from
  you, with all malice
• NKJ 1 Thessalonians 5:15 See that no one renders
  evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is
  good both for yourselves and for all.
• NKJ Matthew 5:23 "Therefore if you bring your
  gift to the altar, and there remember that your
  brother has something against you, 24 "leave your
  gift there before the altar, and go your way. First
  be reconciled to your brother, and then come and
  offer your gift.
Breaking the Cycle (cont.)
NKJ Romans 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have
regard for good things in the sight of all men.
18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live
peaceably with all men.
19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather
give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is
Mine, I will repay," says the Lord.
20 Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If
he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you
will heap coals of fire on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil
with good.
Breaking the Cycle (cont.)
NKJ Matthew 5:44 "But I say to you, love your enemies,
bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate
you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and
persecute you,
45 "that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for
He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and
sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 "For if you love those who love you, what reward
have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
47 "And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do
more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?
48 "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in
heaven is perfect.
Living in Generosity
•   We must view our possessions in a new light
•   Nothing we own is really ours
•   Everything belongs to God
•   Trusting God to supply our needs frees us to share
    with others we encounter along the way
•   Institutional ways of helping those in need always
    break down
•   Personally helping those God has placed in our
    path does not
•   As we discover how generous God is with us, we
    will find the joy of being generous to others
Living in Generosity (cont.)
• NKJ 1 John 3:17 But whoever has this world's
  goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up
  his heart from him, how does the love of God
  abide in him?
• NKJ James 2:15 If a brother or sister is naked and
  destitute of daily food,Nothing we own is really
  ours 16 and one of you says to them, "Depart in
  peace, be warmed and filled," but you do not give
  them the things which are needed for the body,
  what does it profit?
• NKJ Proverbs 3:27 Do not withhold good from
  those to whom it is due, When it is in the power of
  your hand to do so.
You did it for Me
NKJ Matthew 25:35 'for I was hungry and you gave Me
food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a
stranger and you took Me in;
36 'I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you
visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.'
37 "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord,
when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty
and give You drink?
38 'When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or
naked and clothe You?
39 'Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come
to You?'
40 "And the King will answer and say to them,
'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of
the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'
You did it for Me
• According to Jesus our acts of kindness and
  sharing reveal the depth of our relationship with
  Him
• Those growing to know Jesus will find themselves
  giving to others the same way he gives to them
• Our life in Jesus is demonstrated by our
  compassion for people in need
• Jesus’ compassion is contagious
• Once we have experienced it from His hand, there
  is no way we can hold it to ourselves
                     One Anothering
Loving one another (John 13:34)
Forgiving one another (Ephesians 4:32)
Accepting one another (Romans 15:7)
Bearing with one another (Ephesians 4:2)
Being devoted to one another (Romans 12:10)
Honoring one another above ourselves (Romans 12:10)
Greeting one another (2 Corinthians 13:12)
Being hospitable to one another (1Peter 4:9)
Being kind and compassionate to one another (Eph. 4:32)
Sharing with one another (Hebrews 13:16)
     Homework

• Read Part 2, Chapters 7 & 8
   – Lightening the Load
   – Cheerleading
• Meet next week Wednesday at 6:00 PM in Room A124
• “Pray the Word” Daily
Pray the Word (1Thessalonians 3:12,13)

Lord make us increase and abound in love to
one another and to all so that You may
establish our hearts blameless in holiness
before our God and Father.
    Discussion Questions

• Turn to page 76

				
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