Everyone Takes Sides
we lost up taking sides. Tension
To Baddies, coworkers end the Game
When the respect
increases as the quarrel and ultimately end the office harmony.
Worse yet, employees that once were friends‘ "including the
estranged co-worker“ are now at odds with each other.
When that happens, office productivity drops and very few
employees come out unscathed.
The Office that 8-10 hr. day place you
spend over 2/3rds of your life at:
An office environment is always a good place to
meet new people who have the same interests
and sometimes, the goals and ambitions. They
always advocate for mutual friendships where
teamwork is propagated in order to achieve the
goals of the organization.
Believe it, Read it, Heed it !
Three to four times more common
Workplace bullying/quarrels/fights is a serious
problem that can profoundly effect the mental,
physical and financial health of the bully’s target
(the person or group the bully abuses).
A recent Canadian study estimates that bullying
in the workplace is three to four times more
common than sexual harassment or racial
The bad side of life
• Coworkers don't want to hear about it. Co-
workers in a office are never able to keep
their disputes a secret. Yes, almost everyone
thinks it's cute that there's an office quarrel ...
cute for about two weeks. After that,
coworkers start taking bets as to when the
event will escalate, or wishing it had ended
yesterday so that they don't have to hear
about it anymore.
We/Us/The Team/The Corporation
• It can have a devastating effect on the morale
of the whole staff. An organization cannot
have employees avoiding each other in the
It is not Gender Specific
It is not about me, its about events
• For starters, office disputes can hurt your work
performance and damage your reputation.
• This could lead others to treat you differently or
even file complaints. Eventually, either scenario
could lead to write-ups and even job loss despite
the fact that your supervisors are unaware of the
events. And if you don’t think losing your job will
cause ripples in your personal life, think again.
He Said/She Said the Boss Said
To argue and to fight are two different things. When two people are arguing it
doesn't mean that they are fighting, they could be presenting their lines of
argument in a calm and polite manner. Of course, an argument can turn into
No Referee to the Event
• If you have noticed an increase in office fighting
at your job, it's up to you to take control. If you're
the manager in charge or the business owner,
you can take steps to remedy the situation; if you
aren't in an authoritarian position, you need to
bring it to the attention of your superior. The
longer office fighting goes on, the less likely it will
stop until someone is fired, demoted or sued.
Office fighting can become something like junior
high students on a bus going home from school;
things get out of hand and there's really nobody
there to referee.
a level playing field
In most cases, office fighting can be cured by
creating a level playing field. Promotion and
achievement should not be based on a rapport
with the boss, but on sound work and positive
attitudes. When office fighting results in nothing
more than disciplinary action, it tends to stop. It
is when office fighting is unknowingly rewarded
by the boss that things can turn ugly.
Sometimes not all times
They know that the corporate world can
be vicious and many employees are
deciding to join in on the games rather
than fight to stay above them. Office
fighting can often be a result of
misplaced anger and resentment toward
those who seem to overachieve.
None are Acceptable
There are several words with similar meanings but
different degrees of disagreement.
• A spat/ squabble is a small verbal exchange , usually
occasional in nature which usually ends quickly
• A quarrel usually is more of a shouting match between
two parties involved who try to prove to each other
that they are wrong or at fault
• An argument is an emotional exchange of words from
each party to prove a point or he his right
• A fight typically is the violent resolution of the above.
There is no winner in a quarrel. As a quarrel
largely consists of impulsive reactions and rules
out reason for the most part, a quarreling
person tries to gain the upper hand with fists.
A quarrel, therefore, does not breed victory.
First and Always
The first step in putting a lid on office fighting is to
directly address the situation. In the interest of
remaining objective, some bosses and managers
will ignore the fighting and hope it will go away,
much the same as the parents of two particularly
rambunctious teenagers will ignore bickering. If the
issue is properly addressed, however, the juvenile
behavior is thrust into the limelight and employees
who have spent billable hours fighting will be
embarrassed of their behavior.
Real Differences and Problems
BE AWARE YOU HAVE A CHOICE
• The most common reactions to politics at work are
either fight or flight. It’s normal human reaction for
survival in the wild, back in the prehistoric days when
we were still hunter-gatherers. Sure, the office is a
modern jungle, but it takes more than just instinctive
reactions to win in office politics. Instinctive fight
reactions will only cause more resistance to whatever
you are trying to achieve; while instinctive flight
reactions only label you as a pushover that people can
easily take for granted.
KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO
• When conflicts happens, it’s very easy to be sucked into
tunnel-vision and focus on immediate differences. That’s a
self-defeating approach. Chances are you’ll only invite
more resistance by focusing on differences in people’s
positions or opinions.
• The way to mitigate this without looking like you’re fighting
to emerge as a winner in this conflict is to focus on the
business objectives. In the light of what’s best for the
business, discuss the pros and cons of each option.
Eventually, everyone wants the business to be successful; if
the business don’t win, then nobody in the organization
wins. It’s much easier for one to eat the humble pie and
back off when they realize the chosen approach is best for
FOCUS ON YOUR CIRCLE OF
• At work, there are often issues which we have very little control
over. It’s not uncommon to find corporate policies, client demands
or boss mandates which affects your personal interests. Bitching
and complaining are common responses to these events that we
cannot control. But think about it, other than that short term
emotional outlet, what tangible results do bitching really
accomplish? In most instances, none.
• Instead of feeling victimized and angry about the situation, focus
on the things that you can do to influence the situation – your circle
of influence. This is a very empowering technique to overcome the
feeling of helplessness. It removes the victimized feeling and also
allows others to see you as someone who knows how to operate
within given constraints.
No Winners, Just Worn Losers
• In office politics, it is possible to find yourself stuck in
between two power figures who are at odds with each
other. You find yourself being thrown around while they try
to outwit each other and defend their own position. All at
the expense of you getting the job done. You can’t get
them to agree on a common decision for a project, and
neither of them want to take ownership of issues; they’re
too afraid they’ll get stabbed in the back for any mishaps.
• In cases like this, focus on the business objectives and don’t
take side with either of them – even if you like one better
than the other. Place them on a common communication
platform and ensure open communications among all
parties so that no one can claim “I didn’t say that”.
Truly what's it all about?
Its not about Me!
DON’T GET PERSONAL
• In office politics, you’ll get angry with people. It
happens. There will be times when you feel the
urge to give that person a piece of your mind and
teach him a lesson. Don’t.
• People tend to remember moments when they
were humiliated or insulted. Even if you win this
argument and get to feel really good about it for
now, you’ll pay the price later when you need
help from this person. What goes around comes
around, especially at the work place.
SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, BEFORE
• The reason people feel unjustified is because
they felt misunderstood. Instinctively, we are
more interested in getting the others to
understand us than to understand them first. Top
people managers and business leaders have
learned to suppress this urge.
• Surprisingly, seeking to understand is a very
disarming technique. Once the other party feels
that you understand where he/she is coming from,
they will feel less defensive and be open to
understand you in return.
Its about Win/Win not Win Lose
• As mentioned upfront, political conflicts happen because of
conflicting interests. Perhaps due to our schooling, we are taught
that to win, someone else needs to lose. Conversely, we are afraid
to let someone else win, because it implies losing for us.
• In business and work, that doesn’t have to be the case.
• Learn to think in terms of “how can we both win out of this
situation?” This requires that you first understand the other party’s
perspective and what’s in it for him. Next, understand what’s in it
for you. Strive to seek out a resolution that is acceptable and
beneficial to both parties. Doing this will ensure that everyone truly
commit to the agree resolution and not pay only lip-service to it.
Some words have powerful meaning
A lot of Do’s and few Don'ts
• ENCOURAGE everyone at the workplace to act towards others in a respectful and
• HAVE a workplace policy in place that includes a reporting system.
• EDUCATE everyone that bullying is a serious matter.
• TRY TO WORK OUT solutions before the situation gets serious or "out of control".
• EDUCATE everyone about what is considered bullying, and whom they can go to
• TREAT all complaints seriously, and deal with complaints promptly and
• TRAIN supervisors and managers in how to deal with complaints and potential
situations. Encourage them to address situations promptly whether or not a
formal complaint has been filed.
• HAVE an impartial third party help with the resolution, if necessary.
• DO NOT IGNORE any potential problems.
• DO NOT DELAY resolution. Act as soon as possible.
Working in a Office is a Team Event
Simply lay out the rules for employees and
encourage everyone to operate like a team.
People simply don’t like to lose. You may get
away with win-lose tactics once or twice, but
very soon, you’ll find yourself without allies in