Thanking People For Their Gifts
The wedding is over. You’re back from your honeymoon and you think to yourself, what’s next? If you hadn’t already started the daunting task of writing thank-you notes is hanging over your head. Engagement gifts, shower gifts, wedding gifts, you'll probably never receive more presents at any one time during your life than you will around your wedding. You must send a thank you note for every wedding (shower, engagement, etc.) gift you receive. The note must be written by the bride or the groom. Unlike other wedding tasks, this one cannot be delegated. The thank you notes must be sent out in a timely fashion. This means two weeks for gifts received before the wedding and should be acknowledged before the big day. For gifts received after the wedding, one month recommended but you have up to three months before the etiquette police begin pounding on your door. If you're falling behind, consider calling the people who sent gifts by mail to assure them the package did arrive; then follow up with a written note as soon as you can. Unfortunately, a bride's enthusiasm quickly dampens at the thought of writing the thank-you notes. Besides the fact that it's good manners to respond promptly, there's a practical reason for this: The work won't get a chance to pile up. The whole process of reflecting again on your treasures can rekindle all your best engagement and wedding memories. And with the right system, you can have your obligations polished off in no time. Here are some ideas to help. When sending out your invitations use index cards or make a list with all of your guest’s addresses. After receiving a gift from that guest, you can list the gift specifically, the date it was received and check off the date the thank you was written and mailed. This will help you keep track of addresses and thank you notes. You can refer to this listing as you write since proper etiquette dictates that you describe the gift in your note and use it to keep track of which gifts you've acknowledged. If the same person gets you a gift for multiple events say, a shower gift and a wedding gift you must write a separate note for each gift. Your Stationery When writing thank-you notes for engagement or shower gifts, decorative note cards may be used. Etiquette states that your wedding thank-yous, however, should be written on more formal white or ivory stationery. If you choose paper embossed with your name or initials, keep in mind that you must use your maiden name on any pre-wedding thank-yous. Paper that displays your married name should not be used until after the wedding. Sincere Thanks It is perfectly appropriate (not to mention practical) for your groom to write some thank-yous after the wedding too. To make matters simpler, have him do those for his friends and family, while you do those for yours. Shower gifts, though, are generally for the bride, so it is you who should do the responding. (Of course, gifts from a coed shower are an exception to this rule.) Be sure to make each note warm and personal. Remember, the giver spent valuable time and money searching for the perfect item for you. A handwritten, personalized thank you is a must. Neatness counts don't cross out words or leave messy ink blots. Blue or black inks are the only appropriate choices. Your notes need not be lengthy, but they should mention the gift by name, and refer to how you will use it: "Thanks you very much for the china place setting! Albert and I will think of the two of you every time we use it. We hope you'll be our dinner guests sometime soon." When writing about a monetary gift, you needn't mention the amount, but do mention what you plan to do with it: "Thank you both for your generous wedding gift. Albert and I are saving for a house, and you have helped bring us closer to that goal."
For gifts given by a group of people, (8 or more) one thank you note is acceptable, but it is etiquette and courtesy to at least make a phone call to each person in the group to thank them individually. Its nice to include a photo of the two of you, but only if your photographer can provide the prints within a few weeks of the wedding. Do not make guests wait to hear from you because the pictures aren't ready. Don't like a gift? You still need to offer gracious thanks, and never mention that you plan to return it. Likewise, make your own arrangements with the store to replace a damaged gift. There's no need to trouble the giver. So remember, to keep things running smoothly, stay organized and let your fiancé help with the thank-you notes. It is after all, his wedding too.