poem by jianglifang


									The World’s Worst Poem (with                    Not for me is heaven’s gate,                    The point to the poem is that things will
annotations)                                    It’s grass for lunch, I won’t be late,          happen in the future over which we have
By Jim Yount                                    To be a white cow is my fate.”                  no control. For cryonics to “work” the
                                                                                                technology for reanimation must develop
Jim is The Chief Operating Officer of The       4th Poker Play (desires cryonics)               and civilization must hold together well
American Cryonics Society                       I’ll cool my ass off in the freezer,            enough to allow for reanimation. So……
                                                Though chilling down may be a sneezer,          keep your cryonics arrangements in place,
Always optimistic, we wanna-be frozen           When I’m awake I’ll surely please-her,          but in the meantime go out and have some
types are constantly on the make for ways       If she cools down like this here geezer.”       fun! We know there is a today. There
to push our cold rock up the hill. In the                                                       may not be a tomorrow.
early 1980s a group of us had meetings          The four agree to meet in the future after
with executives of an insurance company         death, each trusting in his own belief          Note: More on rebirth as a white cow can
that specialized in life insurance to fund      All right, we’ll play a game of cards,          be found in Elizabeth Clare Prophet and
burial plans. We proposed that the com-         In the future, on sands of Mars,                Erin L. Prophet’s 1997 book Body, Mind
pany also offer insurance for cryonics          We’ll arrive in separate cars,                  & Spirit.
plans. The executives seemed interested         The loser buys the candy bars.                  *********************************
but in the end nothing came of it. Maybe
we just didn’t push hard enough.                The end of the world comes through nu-          Our basic suspension ("Standard Proce-
                                                clear holocaust                                 dure") plan is priced to match the most
At one of the meetings, one of the insur-       These four avoided the world’s hate,            economical plans available through any
ance guys told us why he was interested         But organized the game too late,                other reputable company.
in cryonics. “I like to play poker,” he         Arrived the fickle hand of fate,
confided. “Me and some of my poker              And barbecued them on the grate.                The "California Procedure" makes use of
playing buddies might all agree to by fro-                                                      a team of specialist relying upon recent
zen and when they thaw us out we could          The fate of the 1st Poker Player                research results. It is considerably more
all have at least one more game. Hell, it       Fire dancer won first hand,                     expensive than the Standard Procedure,
might even be on Mars!”                         The earth consumed, like fire-brand,            but is the most technologically sophisti-
                                                The birds and beasts in all the land,           cated suspension available anywhere.
He added that his buds all had different        Disintegrated into sand.
ways of looking at life and death                                                               Both of these procedures advance re-
“maybe, in the end they wouldn’t go for         The fate of 2nd Player
                                                                                                search and contribute to achieving our
it.”                                            Soil-snoozer also got his way,
                                                His bones return-ed to the clay,
I considered that scenario and much later       In glory-be he couldn’t stay,
                                                For even that was blown away.                   In order for the American Cryonics Soci-
wrote a poem about it that appeared in the
                                                                                                ety to perform a cryonic suspension for
November 1987 ACS Notebook. Here it
                                                The fate of the 3rd Player                      you, we need you to do three things:
is again. Annotations are used to make it
a bit easier to follow. Italics set off anno-   Incarnate, too, was satisfied,
tations from the poem itself.                   Even though his flesh was fried,                    1. Provide the funds for your own
                                                In amoeba host his soul must ride,                  suspension and long-term mainte-
!st Poker Player (who wants to be cre-          ‘Till evolves again, cow white of hide.             nance.
“With good Neptunes from here to                The fate of the 4th Player                          2. Become a member of the Ameri-
France,                                         The cool cat, our pleasure hinter,                  can Cryonics Society and pay dues.
I will do the fire dance,                       Got chilled fast, a frozen splinter,
Upon the flame I will prance,                   No cryostat would he have to enter,                 3. Provide ACS with the legal author-
And keep my money in my pants.”                 As there arrived nu-cle-ar winter.                  ity to perform a suspension by com-
                                                                                                    pleting the proper forms.
2nd Poker Player (who believes he will          It is called The World’s Worst Poem not
go to Heaven):                                  because the poem stinks but because of
“After play and after toil,                     the horrible fate of each player. Each          An ACS protective LN2 storage container
I will rest down in the soil,                   believes his way is best. Each believes         is employed as an additional safeguard.
Though pretty soon I will spoil,                that he alone will either live again after      We recommend an additional $5,000 be
Up to heaven my soul will coil.”                death, or smugly holds the opinion that         provided as a transportation allowance
                                                the method of final disposition does not        and for local mortuary assistance.
3rd Poker Player (who believes in rein-         matter. In an ironic twist of fate, each gets
carnation):                                     his wish.                                       More at:www.americancryonics.org
“I’ll live again, re-in-carnate,

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