FOR USE IN SMALL SECTION Please return this at the end of class. A copy of it will posted on TWEN under “Class Hand-Outs”
The Tight Sentence S*M*A*S*H*
Surplus words, get rid of them Mind the gap Active Voice Short Sentences Hereinafter Simplify
Examples and exercises in this lecture are taken from Richard C. Wydick’s book Plain English for Lawyers, (3d ed. 1994).
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I.
SHORTER SENTENCES RULE 1: ONE SENTENCE = ONE THOUGHT RULE 2: LESS THAN THREE LINES
In a trial by jury, the court may, when the convenience of witnesses or the ends of justice would be promoted thereby, on motion of a party, after notice and hearing, make an order, no later than the close of pretrial conference is to be held, or in other cases, no later than 10 days before the trial date, that the trial of the issue of liability shall precede the trial of any other issue in the case. one sentence, 86 words, 5 pieces of information
RULE 3: AVOID NESTED MODIFERS - MAKE TWO SENTENCES OR TABLES IF NECESSARY A claim for exemption, which in the case of a dwelling that is used for housing not more than a single family shall not exceed $50000 or the fair market value, which ever is less, may be filed with the Administrator within 90 days after receipt of notice.
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REWRITE: A claim for exemption may be filed with the Administrator within 90 days after receipt of notice. The claim for a single family dwelling cannot exceed $50000 or the fair market value.
II.
SHORTER SENTENCES EXERCISES
1. By establishing a technique whereby the claims of many individuals can be resolved at the same time, class actions serve an important function in our judicial system in eliminating the possibility of repetitious litigation and providing claimants with a method of obtaining enforcement of claims that would otherwise be too small to warrant individual litigation. 2. The attorney-client privilege, while applying to the client’s revelation of a past crime, has no application when the client seeks the aid of the attorney with respect to the planning or carrying out of a future crime. 3. Venue would be proper, unless the claim is framed as a federal question, in the Southern District of New York, if that is where the plaintiff resides, or in the Eastern District of California, assuming that the defendant does business in that judicial district, or in the Northern District of Illinois, if that turns out to be the place where the events in question happened.
III.
“HEREINAFTER SIMPLIFY” EXERCISES
1. All advance payments of rentals made hereunder shall be binding on any direct or indirect assignee, grantee, devise, administrator, executor, heir, or successor to the lessor. 2. Section 123 has pertinence to any contract that makes provision for attorney fees. 3. We are in agreement with your position, but if it is your intention to cause delay, we will stand in opposition to you. 4. If there is a continuation of this breach, my client will effect an immediate termination of the contract.
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THE TOP TEN PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR ISSUES
1. THE COMMA Rule: Know the basics. We submit, therefore, that the injunction should be lifted. Tuesday, July 6, 1997, is the termination date. July 1997 is the termination date. The witness said, “The car was speeding.” Rule: Insert commas in a series of two or more things. We encountered high winds, driving rain, and dense fog. [TRADITIONAL RULE] We encountered high winds, driving rain and dense fog. Rule: Insert commas at the beginning of a new independent clause. Costal Banks breached its loan commitment to the owner, and the contractor threatened to terminate its performance. The robber ran and the police gave chase. Rule: Style and Judgment is the underlying policy. The contract is written, signed, and dated, and, therefore, the statute of frauds does not apply. The contract is written, signed and dated, and, the statute of frauds therefore does not apply. The contract is written, signed and dated; therefore, the statute of frauds does not apply.
2. THE SEMICOLON Rule: Use it to separate items in a complex series. The lawyer called the following witnesses: Cupp; Wendel; and Levine. Rule: Use it to separate two independent clauses joined by a transitional expression. The contract is written and signed; therefore, the statute of frauds does not apply. The witness had no personal knowledge of the events; in truth, her testimony was hearsay.
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3. THE COLON Rule: Use it to introduce a list or illustration. The lawyer called the following witnesses: Cupp; Wendel; and Levine. The plaintiff failed to prove two key elements: negligence and emotional distress. Rule: Use it to introduce long quotations such as in block quotes (commas for short quotations). Section 313 of the Restatement provides: “. . .”
4. QUOTES Rule: Use “. . .” when you omit a word. The Court held, “The plaintiff was in the zone of danger because he . . . was struck by the car . . . .” Rule: Use “[ ]” when you add a word or letter. The Court held, “. . . [t]he plaintiff was in the zone of danger because he . . . was struck by the car [when his son was killed].”
5. SUBJECT-VERB AGREEMENT Rule: Verbs must agree in number and person with the subject. Not one of these witnesses remembers what happened. Washington’s approach to choice of law problems results in the following holdings. Everybody is hungry.
Rule: Usually use a plural verb with most compound subjects. Many cars and one truck were trapped on the ferry. Levine, Cupp and Wendel is a respectable firm.
6. IT’S, ITS, WHO’S AND WHOSE; THAT, WHICH AND WHO Contraction = It’s, Who’s (rarely in memos) Possessive = Its, Whose Person=who or whom Everything, but a person = which Everything, including people = that He is the one who ran for office. She is the lawyer whom I mentioned. She is the lawyer that I mentioned. The evidence, which he misplaced, would have resolved the case.
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7. I AND ME Subject = I Object = me Ms. Jones, Mr. Martinez and I wanted to reschedule the trial. The trial was schedule at the convenience of Ms. Jones, Mr. Martinez and me.
8. GENDER-LINKED PRONOUNS Rule: Try to avoid using them, or use the plural. Avoid: A taxpayer may obtain a refund from the IRS by amending her returns for 1999 and 2000. A taxpayer may obtain a refund from the IRS by amending returns for 1999 and 2000. Taxpayers may obtain refunds from the IRS by amending their returns for 1999 and 2000.
9. PARELLEISM Rule: Similarity of structure; repetition of like words in the same order. After he came, he looked and then conquered. Revised: He came, he saw, he conquered. In determining if the housekeeper had exerted undue influence to change the will, the court considered the fiduciary relationship of the testator’s relationship with his housekeeper, how long the house keeper and the testator had known each other, and whether the housekeeper had acted to cause the changes to his will. Revised: In determining if the housekeeper had exerted undue influence to change the will, the court considered the fiduciary nature of the testators’ relationship with his housekeeper, the extent of their friendship, and the acts of the housekeeper to cause the changes to the will. 1
10. FRAGMENTS AND RUN-ONS Rule: Don’t do it.
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See Lynn B. Squires et al., The Nutshell: Legal Writing 65 (2d ed. 1996).
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