(Moses walking up mountain)
Moses: This walk was a whole lot easier when I was 40 years old, wait I am
40 years old. Never mind.
Joshua: Wait! (Pants) come back! Wait!
Moses: No I shall not wait; you come here and (trips) ahhhh!
Joshua: Moses! You’re not falling; you passed out for 2 minutes! Are you
Moses: Are you my angel hahahaha ahhhhhhhh!
Joshua: (slaps Moses) Wake up old man! Are you deaf?
Moses: No but I’m half blind and I can barely speak. Do you have my pills
Joshua: What pills?
Moses: The ones that say Advil. (Gets up) or do you have my arthritis pills?
Joshua: You have arthritis?
Moses: Yup walking in the desert for 40 years will do that.
Joshua: (starts walking) Then why are you climbing a mountain if you have
Moses: Because were Godly people. Hey! Don’t step there, that’s holy
Joshua: I thought we were holy?
Moses: Nope, I am because I’m 100 years old.
Joshua: Umm I thought you were 40 years old.
Moses: Uhhhhhhh what was said on the mountain stays on the mountain.
Now you wait here.
Joshua: But why?????
Moses: Because I said so, now don’t make me get Batman. Oh look an
Joshua: (turns around) where?
Moses: (runs off)
Joshua: Where’d he go?
Back at camp
Fatman: Yes! Moses is gone and Joshua went with him. Now we got to get
rid of Aaron and Miriam.
Aaron: What did you say fat little pig?
Fatman: I wanted to see you and Miriam.
Aaron: Miriam has a husband so don’t get any ideas piggy.
Miriam: (walks in) what do you guys want?
Fatman: I want a real God, a golden calf.
Aaron: I thought you wanted to propose to Miriam.
Fatman: Shhhhhhhh (whispers) I’ll do that later.
Miriam: What are you talking about?
Fatman: As I was saying Moses has his God and I want mine. I mean we
Aaron: I’m not taking orders from a pig.
Fatman: I’m not a pig! I’m a-
Aaron: Potbellied swine who’s fat.
Fatman: NO! I’m a-
Aaron: Underground groveler who eats like a pig.
Fatman: Arrrrgh! (Pulls out a tiny knife) I hate you! Now if you don’t make
a Golden Calf I’ll kill you!
Miriam: Just do it Aaron, God will forgive you.
Aaron: I know God will but will Moses and Chicken Man?
Miriam: Moses won’t forgive you but Chicken Man might.
In the Chicken Mans lair
Miriam: Oh great fluffy Chicken Man, would you forgive Aaron if he made
a Golden God?
Chicken Man: Depends on what the God’s going to look like.
Fatman: (walks in) a Golden Calf.
Chicken Man: Bawk it’s the pig! Watch out friend, did the butcher follow
Fatman: What butcher?
Chicken Man: the slayer of all beasts. The slayer of slayers!
Chicken Man: You are a pig right?
Fatman: Arrrrrgh! No I am just a human that appears to be fat. Wait did
Aaron hear that?
Chicken man: Anyway you want the God to be a Calf? Hmmmmmmmmm.
Go ahead. Just make sure you don’t use my Gold.
Fatman: Let’s go Miriam, Chicken Man needs his rest.
Chicken Man: Goodbye Pig!
Back on the mountain
Moses: Whew I ran a long time, where’s the burning bush?
God: I will not speak through a bush this time. I will speak through the sky.
Moses: I think Joshua followed me can you keep him away?
Joshua: (comes around a tree) Hey guys.
God: Go away! (Throws a football at him)
Moses: Another football?
God: At least it helped. Anyway see that paper and pencil over there?
God: Write down 10 commandments on the paper.
God: Then I will change the paper into stone.
Moses: Wait were you talking to me?
Moses: Oh ok, almost done, hold on, almost there, so close, ok done.
God: Now I will say the magic word, glitter. Now look at the paper.
Moses: It’s stone! Cool I want to try! Glitter, glitter, glitter.
God: Now you can go back to civilization, and then go back to the Promised
Moses: But why didn’t the magic word work?
Moses: Ok but can you keep Joshua away?
At the camp, the Golden Calf is nearly finished
Fatman: Hehe. We have a God! My precious my precious.
Aaron: Hey look there’s Moses! Look piggy there’s Moses.
Fatman: What! Moses! Where! What?
Aaron: At the mountain stupid.
Fatman: Nobody will touch my precious. DIIIIE!!!!!!!
Moses: Glitter football!
Sorry to interrupt but we have no footage of this event. Moses apparently
made footballs Rain down from the sky and all of the footballs hit Fatman
and his precious Calf. We will now continue the footage.