Hosting a Divorce Shower
By Denise Tucker
As a divorced woman, I know all too well the challenges of a broken marriage. Not only is there the
matter of a major life change, but there is also the emotional stress of telling friends and family that it
didn’t work out. More than anything else, newly separated couples need the support of friends and
family…and a new set of bath towels.
Let’s be practical here. The division of a marital union is more than just paperwork and legal fees. It
means that the Kitchen Aid mixer went to her and the ice cream scoop went to him. She may have let
him keep the mattress, but she took all the sheets and pillows. It’s great that he left the lawn mower,
but did he have to take the gas can?
Show your newly single friend some much needed support with a divorce shower. Because this is a
magazine for women, the following assumes that the guest of honor is a woman. But, the concepts are
gender neutral. Let’s talk themes…
The most obvious theme choice is “Independence Day.” Grab some friends, fireworks, and a bottle of
champagne to toast your friend’s new independence. Maybe your friend enjoys movies! Then a
screening of First Wives Club or War of the Roses will be a must! If she loves the ocean – throw a beach
party decorated with “plenty of fish in the sea.”
We should also talk about a certain four letter word… cake. Lots of it. Marriage starts with it and what
the heck – let it end with it! Chances are good that, despite the separation, she’d still love to shove a
cake in his face. Make sure his picture is handy, blindfold your friend, and make it a game!
Other games to consider:
A piñata with the ex’s picture pinned on it may be one of the most therapeutic gifts you could
ever give your friend.
Pin-the-divorce-papers-on-the-ex may be fun for everyone…who can get the papers in his hand?
Whose Line Is It Anyway? The She’s No Longer Your Mother-In-Law Edition. Act out skits
depicting traditional mother-in-law stereotypes. Even those who have fantastic mothers-in-law
will get a kick out of this!
Jeopardy: “I’ll take the living room furniture, Alex.” The answer is “The coffee table.” And the
question is “What do I no longer have to scrub his toe prints off of?”
As previously mentioned, your newly separated friend will probably need a few household things, too.
Ask her to make a registry. To my knowledge, Target, Wal-Mart, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond do not yet
have a divorce registry as a part of their service… But with a little creative energy, you can make your
own! Type her list in an Excel spreadsheet and provide it to all the shower attendees. To prevent
duplicate gifts, you can make the spreadsheet accessible to everyone through Google Docs (found on
www.google.com). When someone buys something from the “registry,” they should type their name
beside the item they purchased and save the document for everyone else’s reference.
Be creative, have fun, and don’t forget to have a sense of humor. This is group therapy at its best (and
In all seriousness, a divorce shower isn’t for everyone. Obviously, there are circumstances that extend
beyond “irreconcilable differences,” and in some cases, a divorce shower would clearly be
inappropriate, or even cruel. Every situation is unique and you will know if your friend is up to it or not.
Personally, I would have loved to have had a divorce shower. But then again, I told the sheriff who
served me with divorce papers that I would have had cake and ice cream available if he would have
Invite friends and family to help give your newly single friend a dose of much needed fun and relaxation!
And be sure to remind your friend to smile…the marriage may not have lasted but her name tattooed on
his arm will last forever…
(Oh c’mon – you know you want to laugh!)