We Aussies have a way of promoting our own identity quietly and

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We Aussies have a way of promoting our own identity quietly and Powered By Docstoc
We Aussies have a way of promoting our
own identity quietly and with little fanfare,
whether it be in terms of business, sport or
leisure. The droopy mo of cricket; the tight,
butt hugging shorts of footy, and even the
budgy smugglers of our politicians. And
who can forget those Oz swimmers in their
revolutionary full body Ozzy cozys, the
netballers in their flamboyant skirts and the
irrepressible camel toe of those true blue
weight loss commercials? Each a genuine
reflection of the Aussie spirit and all
it symbolizes.

          f late, i can’t help but notice    if they actually have their car keys, better   and all.
          that our pride of identity by      yet which pocket they put them in, and             Lets say “NO” to advertising on
          ensemble is coming under threat    along come the Poms with an exciting           platform thongs. NO, to snarling faces on
from abroad, and nowhere is this more        innovation to confuse them even more!          the back of our hats. NO, to uncountable
noticeable than in our own, legendary            and from the other side we have            sponsor logos surreptitiously placed all
sport of fishing.                            those yanks themselves? They, too,             over those uncomfortable synthetically
     From one side we face the Brits, with   are also having a solid go to make             blended bloody pullover shirts they keep
their tweed getups and hip boots. Smug       inroads into the traditional Oz fishing        handing out to us at those so called
little buggers who go fishing in gear        cozzy. Those cappuccino crazy, bourbon         ‘state wide’ fishing comps which the
more appropriate for an average scene        swilling tank drivers have an uncanny          locals indubitably take by storm anyway.
in Four weddings and a Funeral than for      knack for being able to put advertising            Let us here and now define true blue
taking on our own wily tuna and sambos.      on any and everything they can get their       OZ fishing clobber once and for all, and
Picture a nice smear of mackerel slime       hands on. They’ve done it to surf swim         pledge to keep it aussie and the real deal.
across the front zip of those tweed          smugglers, the footy jumper and just               Starting from the ground up, we need
strides and see how you go, hah! and         about everything that’s cricket. They have     to declare the traditional rubber thong
how about those multi-pocketed, many         turned the French tour de force into a         as the official and perennial footwear.
faceted, funky little trout vests the Poms   rolling billboard and the v8 Supercars         This is to be kept and worn until the
wear when standing crotch deep in their      into lightening speed subliminal adverts.      double gees of red Bluff finally pop thru
river sewage? These carp vests are even          where will it all take us, i ask you?      and become just too painful to carry on.
making great inroads into the yankee         Hopefully not beyond the threshold of          maybe, just maybe, venture into runners
surplus stores, and those red white          our great Oz sport of fishing. Ladies and      for a bit of rock hopping at Quobba, but
and blue nosed american seniors can’t        gentlemen, fishers every one of you, we        never stray far from the thong…… and
seem to get enough of them. Shame,           have got to unite so as to protect and         never, never call it a ‘flip flop’.
shame. an entire sector of the uS baby       defend our right to traditional, functional        Now move up to the Footy shorts….
boomin’ public barely able to remember       and comfortable fishin’ clobber for one        tight makes right. Torn is reborn and

                                                                                                LIFE AccORDING TO ISHMAEL

a salty crotch is the look to go for. No      good ole footy jumper if you really want      as chips.
tweed near my seed, i tell ya. it’s cotton    to look the pro. what a great way to show         and then the hat. i’m all for a good
till it’s rotten for me. my rod pouch is my   off your scar tissue from that weld splash    ole’ woollen beanie myself. Could never
cup. and what about those ridiculous          along with those infected Bangkok tats.       get the hang of those floppy little
waterproof, quick drying, attachable/         Now we’re talking the look of big game        brimmed things. more for cutting the
detachable zipper bottomed pants? Keep        fishin aussie style. Let’s see just how       lawn, i reckon. if they were all that good
your knees in the breeze summer and           much myth and legend you can get onto         they would float. and whatever your
winter, i say, for a warm day is never far    one arm. who needs sun gloves when            headdress, the less advertising the better,
away in w.a.                                  you got plenty of indo ink?                   if you ask me.
     when it comes to top dressing this           Cover up with a bit of light woollen          Sunscreen to the upper and lower
is where you show your true aussie            checkers in the cool of dawn if you must,     extremities? Bah, Humbug! The redder
colours. The challenge here is to find        and never with a patch or thatch. even a      the better, i say. Go au natural, and keep
a comfortable fitting shirt with little or    hoody will do. Get those frayed sleeves       that aussie salute going, too.
no three syllable advert. you may even        and bare elbows out there, guys! and              There you go! Practical, affordable
have to go to Good Sammys for an older,       replacing lost buttons is for muttons.        and, what is most important, we will all
broken in model, or pick off the patches      a cheap spray jacket and you are on           come across in true blue aussie style.
on something more contemporary from           your way.                                     So spool up the Shimano with plenty of
india, and hang it out on the ‘Hills’ for a       Sunnies? wrap arounds are the way         that new Jinkai, check the yamaha for
few weeks to fade the colours right out       to go so as to foster that real racoon-like   fuel, fire up the Toyota and lets’ get out
of it. maybe even splash a bit of paint       look after a tough day at Steep Point. The    amongst the big ones in True Blue Oz
here and there, dirty engine oil, road tar,   cheaper the better. you are just going to     fashion.
and bait smear.                               leave them on the bar anyway. and for             Now, just where did i leave that old
     if you are real lucky you might just     the older blokes, those flip up, clip-ons     alvey of mine?
score a genuine aussie singlet, an            are still the go. Plentiful at the highway        Over and out…
acceptable, threadbare Bali tee, or a         roadhouses along the way, and cheap               ishmael


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