Pirate Jokes What's a pirate's favorite socks? Arrrrgyle. What does a pirate think happens at the end of time? Arrrrmageddon. What's a pirate's favorite food? Arrrrrtichokes. What's a pirate's favorite basketball move? Jump hook. How do pirates make their money? By hook or by crook. Why do pirates make excellent fishermen? They know how to hook the big ones. Where do pirates find their birds? Parrots Without Partners. Did you hear about the pirate's parrot that fell in love with a duck? The bird kept saying, "Polly wants a quacker". Why couldn't the young pirate see the R-rated movie? There was no parrot-al guidance. Why should pirates work for FedEx? They have the fastest ships in the shipping business. What's it called when a pirate's sloop runs aground? It's ship out of luck. Why don't pirates use a safe deposit box? They put their valuables in Davy Jones' Locker. Who's the pirate's favorite actress? Diane Cannon. Why did the pirate refuse to say, "Aye, Aye, Captain"? Because he's only got one eye. What's the pirate's favorite restaurant? Trick question because it's either Jolly Roger or Long John Silver's. How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply? Because it was on sail. Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl? He had a severe hook. Who was the pirate's favorite musician? Carlos Bandana. Why couldn't the pirate stop thinking about sailing? He had ship for brains. What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes? A dozen pirates. What was Bluebeard's wife's name? Peg. How do pirates eat on their ships? Slurp soup on the sloop. How does a pirate greet a prostitute? Yo Ho. What's a pirate's favorite companion? Hooker. What exercise is hard for Blackbeard? Pirate Pilates. When boxing, what's a pirate's favorite punch? Left hook. What's a pirate's least favorite animal? Beaver. If Blackbeard played sports who would he play for? Either the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the Pittsburg Pirates. How does a pirate, wearing a patch, say "yes" to the leader? Eye Eye, Captain. What do you have to watch for when sitting down on a wooden toilet? Long john slivers. What does a pirate put on toast? Jelly Roger. What's is called when a pirate seeks treasure? Booty call. What's a pirate's favorite movie? Booty and the Beast. Where do pirates get chocolate? Carob bean Where do pirates buy their sketch pads? Arrrrrrrt Supply Store. Where do pirates drink their beer? In schooners. Which pirate ship has a gate? Frigate. How does a pirate tell his matey to get out of the toilet and secure everything for an upcoming storm? Button up the britches and batten down the hatches! What is a buccaneer? Pretty high price to pay for corn. Where does a pirate store his workout clothes? Davy Jone's Locker. What's Bluebeard's favorite song? Doubloon Moon. What kind of look does a pirate give right before walking off the ship? Plank stare. How does a pirate tell his matey he'll watch for him? I'll keep an eye out for you.