Sell Crap, Refund Most of the Money, and Make Millions! For the first time, I am going to make public the secret that none of the mail order concerns would ever want you to know. There's start up capital involved but don't let that deter you; once you learn the secret of SURE FIRE RICHES that I am going to share with you, you'll do whatever it takes to raise the funds. And you won't send any of this money to me. On these pages you will learn how to; Sell an opportunity that few people will want once they see it, Give a Full Refund to Anyone Who Wants One, And Get Filthy Rich in the Bargain!!!! Sound Crazy? You bet it does, but it works! You'll have to do some work too, but nothing you can't handle. Let's get started. First, you will need something to sell. Anything will do but I recommend printed matter; reports, how to..., etc. Second, you will need to have the materials. These can be done on a desktop publisher - make them look good, with nice report covers and all that. Third, receive orders and ship! Oh, by the way, you're not selling the reports. Instead you are offering your customers the opportunity to receive these materials at serious discounts from the suggested retail prices for these materials; they can mark them up and resell them because you will turn over the copyrights to them! You won't tell them all this up front. Your add will gurantee people that they can make a lot of money with your plan. To sweeten the pot, you will even offer to pay them, say $100, if they don't make money using your plan! Before going any further, let's get the capitalization out of the way. To launch this enterprise you will need somewhere between $38,000 and $50,000. This money will go for printing costs (minimal) and advertizing in national magazines. Full page eye-catchers at that. You will have to do some homework and develop a strategy that balances circulation with full page ad costs, and determine the most efficient way to reach the greatest number of people. Your anticipated return on these ads will be 2% and you should get there in the third month. The first month will yield about 0.5%, the second around 1.0% - that's typical. Don't worry. Once you hit the 2% range it should hold for about a year; after that you just go out of business. For the kind of money we're talking you should be able to get your ads in four of five national magazines with a total circulation of about 1.5 million. That's good, isn't it. NO, it's better than good. Because four and a half million people will see your ad! It's what is known in magazine circles as Readership, and it is usually estimated to be three times circulation. Ok, you're single and live alone; when you buy a magazine you are the only one who reads it. Fine. But when a family buys a magazine two to five people will read it. If a doctor subscribes to the publication he and his family will read it first, then he'll put it in the waiting room down at the office and fifty more people will see it over the three months it sits there. Readership! So of 4,400,000 people who will probably see your ad, you get 1/2 percent response the first month. That's 225,000 people! Sell your program for $29.95 and you first month's revenues should be around $6,700,000! This is very realistic as you are offering the public a rare opportunity at an affordable price - and you are willing to pay them 3+ times as much if they don't succeed, and you'll refund all their money as well! They'll bite. Take your expenses out of this first wave, set aside the second month's ad costs, and put the rest of the money is savings accounts paying 5% per year. It's the magic of compound interest. To raise the capital, you will probably show this presentation to a group of friends who will very likely be willing to put up $5,000 apiece once they get the idea what you're up to. You can pay them off the first month with 10% interest or you can offer them 0.05% of the first year's net profit. They could get pretty well off too! By the end of the year your total profit could soar to $15 million. A half percent of that is $75,000. A powerful inducement but even if you don't make anywhere near that figure your friends will still make out. Here is the whole scheme, step by step; 1. You place your ads and wait about three weeks to a month for the returns. 2. You mail the materials allowing two weeks for delivery. The 30 day money back guarantee period commences when the customer receives the goods. 2a. It will be cheaper if you have a website (or page) where you can accept credit card payments and the customer may download the information. 3. Wait for a response. By the time the customer receives brochures explaining the opportunity you should have had their money about two weeks. Most of the time the customer will not cancel until the thirty days is about up. And with this scheme it is pretty well assured - because the customer will want to find out about getting the $100 if he doesn't succeed. Even if he cancels out right away, you can usually stretch the refund process out for a full 30 days. The longer you manage to hold on to the customer's money the more interest it will earn while on deposit at the bank. That's how you make your money! 4. If the customer wants to find out about the $100 (and he will) you buy another two weeks while sending him the information. The requirements for receiving the money are so exacting that most people won't want to bother going to all the trouble. You tell them that they will have to furnish proof that they follow- ed your system to the letter. Require them to furnish proof that they placed the ads in the newspapers and magazines, as you specified, bought reports from you and had them returned, and in general didn't succeed - all during the 30 day trial period! If they cancel out they are disqualified from your offer to pay them for failing. If by some fluke the customer actually fulfills your rigorous requirements for the $100, then send him the money. By all means. You can afford it. 5. Not all the people who respond to your ad will ask for a refund; some of them may actually sell the reports and make some money themselves. But for those who want a refund, make it as easy and painless as possible. Enclose a mailing label with the materials so all they have to do is paste it over their own mailing address on the same envelope in which the prospectus arrived. Then they just send it back. Unfortunately the return envelope will get to you too late to make it on this month's computer cycle. Call them or send a card explaining this and that their refund will be processed on NEXT month's cycle. Sorry the mail was so slow. In all you ought to be able to manage holding onto the customer's money for at least two months. At 5% interest per year at the bank the money on deposit should earn 0.4%. Big deal? Point four percent of $6,700,000 is $26,800. Your riches will accrue by your generating large volumes of money and holding them in banks long enough to earn substantial amounts of interest. True, the rate is only 5% but five percent a lot of money is a lot of money. So let's check the details. You are selling a product, and an opportunity for your customer to use that product to make money for himself. It's possible to make money using your system (liklihood is another matter) and there may well be ambitious, energ- etic individuals who'll grab the ball and run with it. And if the customer is unhappy with the deal you'll gladly refund their money. Author's note: While this article is meant to be a gag there actually was a business that operated exactly this way. And it made money!