How to talk to your child about HIV

							How to talk to your child about HIV

The kind of discussion you will have with your child should be determined by their age
and emotional maturity. Here's a basic guideline:

Make sure you're alone and won't be interrupted. Don't be in a hurry and plan carefully
what you're going to say. Living with HIV is like a journey and advises parents to tell
their children their status in stages, depending on their age. Give them little bits of
information at a time and only enough for them to be able to understand

Every family and child will cope differently, but it's important to reassure your child that
you love them and they have done nothing wrong. HIV is a manageable condition.
Reassure your child that if they follow their treatment they will be able to live a normal
life.

When to break the news

Pre-school children: 3-5 Years

* At this age, children don't understand time, illness or death but need to know they are
safe and will benefit from a daily routine that includes taking their medicine and going to
the hospital or clinic.
* Children may have fears but don't know how to talk about them. Parents can find out
what's worrying them by playing games or drawing pictures.
* Try to minimise their anxiety over the situation. Signs they are not coping include
nightmares and reverting to baby-like ways such as bed-wetting or thumb-sucking.
* Let your child ask questions and educate yourself so that you can give them an
appropriate answer.
* If they are seriously ill, get professional advice on how best to break this news to
them. Be prepared for them to ask awkward questions such as, "Does a dead person
wake up?” You could reply, "People do not wake up after they die, but we never forget
them and they always remain special to us."

School going children: 5-12 Years

* Children at this age are beginning to understand situations, know what the past and
the future means and how to talk about their feelings.
* They also have their own opinions and can ask questions. Difficult as it is, parents
need to answer their questions and talk to them about how they are feeling and coping.
* Older children may be concerned about their safety and future. Parents need to
reassure them they will be taken care of and tell them the name of the adult assigned to
look after them should the parents no longer be able to do it themselves.
* Routine helps children to cope and live a normal life, playing with their friends and
taking part in school activities.
Teenagers: 12-17 Years

* Teenagers are learning who they are and how to cope with life. Although they need
adult guidance, they are becoming independent and finding solutions to problems.
They need advice on how to boost their confidence and on how they should respond
to difficult situations. Sometimes they may get angry or even want to get even. Other
times they may be sad and worried.
* Parents can use friends, TV programmes and teachers to help their teenagers
understand the situation. Discuss messages they get from TV or things their friends tell
them.
* Teenagers can benefit from helping others in a similar situation and by doing so, learn
to help themselves.
* A teenager's opinion may be very different to that of an adult. Show an interest and
listen to their opinions and they will be far more open and willing to listen to yours.
* Teenagers watch how their parents cope. Reassure them they are loved.
* Angry teenagers may become reckless and take risks. Guide them patiently, no
matterhow difficult it is.