14 Marriage by huangjunjunlj


    What do women really want to hear men say? The following list may seem
obvious, but the authors of "Why Men Don't Get Enough Sex and Women Don't
Get Enough Love" insist men don't say the obvious often enough:
   * "Put on your best dress. I'm taking you out for a surprise evening."
   * "Let's take a walk together. Just the two of us."
   * "You are always so thoughtful (sensitive, caring)."
   * "I love your eyes (legs, ears)."
    * "You're the best wife a man could hope for. You're my best friend."
    * "When I think about you I get a warm feeling all over."
    * "I'm taking your car in today for new tires because I love you and I want you
to be safe."
    * "I'm going to run an errand - is there something I can get for you while I'm
    * "It's just a little something I brought you to say I love you."

     Although we usually think of a marriage triangle as a dangerous situation,
there is one sense in which a third person could create the right triangle.
    Viola Walden tells the story of a newly married couple riding a train on their
honeymoon. A silver-haired man leaned across the aisle and asked, "Is there a
third party going with you on your honeymoon?" The couple looked at him
strangely; then he added, "When Sarah and I were married, we invited Jesus to
our marriage. One of the first things we did in our new home was to kneel and ask
Jesus to make our marriage a love triangle - Sarah, myself, and Jesus. And all
three of us have been in love with each other for all 50 years of our married life."

  Marriage is like a violin; it doesn’t work without the strings. And when the music
stops, the strings are still attached.

 Even if marriages are made in heaven, humans have to be responsible for their

 If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she’ll
never turn into an old nag.

 Marriage is like flies on a screen door. Those on the outside want to get in, but
some of those already inside want to get out.

 Marriage is not finding the person with whom you can live, but finding that
person with whom you cannot live without.—Howard Hendricks

  Carl Sandburg’s daughter Helga wrote of her parents: “There were never loud
arguments back and forth in our house. My father raged and roared, and often.
But it was one-way. Mother coaxed him out of it. Once when he was very old, I
saw him pull at a door that was stuck. He rattled the handle and shouted. My
mother, a small woman, looked up at him and patted his chest, ‘What a fine strong
voice!’ she said. Disarmed, he stood there in love. It was a thread established
early and woven through their life.

 A little girl had just heard the story Snow White for the first time. So full of
enthusiasm that she could hardly contain herself, she retold the fairy tale to her
mother. After telling about how Prince Charming had arrived on his beautiful white
horse and kissed Snow White back to life, she asked her mother, “And do you
know what happened then?”
   “Yes,” said her mom, “they lived happily ever after.”
   “No,” responded Suzie, with a frown, “they got married.”
   With childlike innocence, the little girl had spoken a partial truth without realizing
it. For you see, getting married and living happily ever after are not necessarily
Adjustment to Marriage
  A cynic once observed: “All marriages are happy. It’s the living together
afterward that causes all the trouble.”

Adjustment to marriage
 Marriage has been described as the relationship of “two reasonable human
beings who have agreed to abide by each other’s intolerabilities.”

Adjustment to Marriage
 Marriage is like taking an airplane to Florida for a relaxing vacation in January,
and when you get off the plane you find you’re in the Swiss Alps. There’s cold and
snow instead of swimming and sunshine.
  Well, after you buy winter clothes and learn how to ski, and learn how to talk in a
new foreign language, I guess you can have just as good a vacation in the Swiss
Alps as you can in Florida. But it is a surprise when you get off that honeymoon
airplane and find that everything is far different from what you expected.

Adjustment to Marriage
 Unhappy spouse to marriage counselor:
 When I got married
 I was looking for an ideal.
 Then it became an ordeal.
 Now I want a new deal.

Adjustment to Marriage
  Someone has likened adjustment to marriage to two porcupines who lived in
Alaska. When the deep and heavy snows came, they felt the cold and began to
draw close together. However, when they drew close they began to stick one
another with their quills. But when they drew apart they felt the cold once again.
To keep warm they had to learn how to adjust to one another-very carefully.

Adjustment to Marriage
  ”For best result, follow instructions of maker.” So advised a brochure
accompanying a bottle of a common cold remedy. If such advice is good for the
relief of a simple physical ailment, how much more it is needed for the relief of sick
marriage relationships! God, the Author of marriage, has given us clear
instructions in the Bible.

Adjustment to Marriage
  All of us have seen two rivers flowing smoothly and quietly along until they meet
and join to form one new river. When this happens they clash and hurl themselves
at one another. However, as the newly formed river flows downstream, it
gradually quiets down and flows smoothly again. And now it is broader and more
majestic and has more power. So it is in a marriage: the forming of a new union
may be tumultuous-but, when achieved, the result is far greater than either alone.

Adjustment to Marriage
 Some time ago, the Saturday Evening Post ran a humorous article that traced
the tendency for marriage partners to drift from a height of bliss into the humdrum
of routine attitudes. Called “The Seven Ages of the Married Cold,” the article
likens the state of the marriage to the reaction of a husband to his wife’s colds
during seven years of marriage.
   The first year: “Sugar dumpling, I’m worried about my baby girl. You’ve got a
bad sniffle and there’s no telling about these things with all this strep around. I’m
putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general checkup and a good rest. I
know the food’s lousy, but I’ll bring your meals in from Rossini’s. I’ve already got it
arranged with the floor superintendent.”
  The second year: “Listen darling, I don’t like the sound of that cough and I’ve
called Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl, please?
Just for Papa.”
  The third year: “Maybe you’d better lie down, honey; nothing like a little rest
when you feel punk. I’ll bring you something to eat. Have we got any soup?”
  The fourth year: “Look, dear, be sensible. After you feed the kids and get the
dishes washed, you’d better hit the sack.”
 The fifth year: “Why don’t you get yourself a couple of aspirin?”
 The sixth year: “If you’d just gargle or something, instead of sitting around
barking like a seal!”
 The seventh year: “For Pete’s sake, stop sneezing! Whatcha trying to do, gimme

Adjustment to Marriage
 People in our nation spend more time preparing to get their driver’s license than
they do preparing for marriage or parenting.

Commitment in Marriage
  With the rising divorce rate and the trend toward total truthfulness these days, it
is almost as though the marriage vows are being changed from “till death do us
part” to “till something better comes along.”

Commitment in Marriage
 The ties of a durable marriage are not like the pretty silken ribbons attached to
wedding presents. Instead, they must be forged like steel in the heat of daily life
and the pressures of crisis in order to form a union that cannot be severed.

Commitment in Marriage
  The comic strip said a lot about the world’s view of marriage:
  One character said, “You know, it’s odd-but now that I’m actually engaged I’m
starting to feel nervous about getting married!”
  The other character replied, “I know what you’re thinking. It’s only natural to be
nervous! Marriage is a big commitment. Seven or eight years can be a long time!”

Commitment in Marriage
  A good many years ago, I knew a workingman in the north of England whose
wife, soon after her marriage, drifted in vicious ways, and went rapidly form bad to
worse. He came home one Sunday evening to find, as he had found a dozen
times before, that she had gone on a new debauch. He knew in what condition
she would return after two or three days of a nameless life. He sat down in the
cheerless house to look the truth in the face and to find what he must do. The
worst had happened too often to leave him much hope for amendment, and he
saw in part what might be in store for him. He made his choice to hold by his wife
to the end and to keep a home for her who would not make one for him. Now that
a new and terrible meaning had passed into the words “for better or for worse,” he
reaffirmed his marriage vow.
  Later, when someone who knew them both intimately ventured to commiserate
with him, he answered, “Not a word! She is my wife! I loved her when she was a
girl in our village and I shall love her as long as there is breath in my body.” She
did not mend, and died in his house after some years in a shameful condition, with
his hands spread over her in pity and prayer to the last.—W.R. Maltby
Adjustment in Marriage
  There is a scientific law called the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This law
states that any closed system left to itself tends toward greater randomness; that
is, it breaks down. It takes an ordered input of energy to keep anything together.
  This is readily seen with a house. Any homeowner knows that to maintain a
house, one must daily, monthly, and yearly invest time and energy to keep the
house enjoyable to live in. If no energy is expended on the house, it eventually
comes to the point of needing a complete overhaul, or else it is knocked down.
  Although it is a law designed to describe material systems, the Second Law of
Thermodynamics seems to describe other systems also. For example, consider
the marriage relationship. It must have a daily, monthly, and yearly investment of
time and energy so that it is enjoyable to live in. If no energy is expended,
eventually the relationship needs a complete overhaul, or else it is knocked down.
  It is a wise couple who build into their marriage continually-rather than waiting
passively for a complete overhaul in the counselor’s office or a knockdown in the

Communication in Marriage
  Thomas Carlyle paid many pathetic postmortem tributes to his deceased wife,
whom he sometimes neglected in life. In his diary there is what has been called
the saddest sentence in English literature. Carlyle wrote: “Oh, that I had you yet
for five minutes by my side that I might tell you all.”

Cost of Marriage
 It is often said that two can live as cheaply as one. That’s true-as long as one
doesn’t eat and the other goes naked.

Role of Wife in Marriage
  Charles Swindoll tells of being married ten years before he became aware of the
value of being grateful for the differences between his wife and himself. He was
often irritated that she didn’t view things exactly as he did. She wasn’t
argumentative, only expressive of her honest feelings. But he took this as a lack
of submission and told her so. Time and time again they locked horns until finally
God showed him from the Genesis 2:18~25 passage that his wife was different
because God had made her different, and she was more valuable to him because
of those differences. She was not designed to be his echo but to be his
counterpart, a necessary and needed individual to help him become all God
wanted him to be.

Obligations of Marriage
    The pastor of a big city church ran an ad for a caretaker-housekeeper. The
next day, a well-dressed young man appeared at the pastor's door. But before
he could say more than, "Hello, I came to see about...," the pastor began
questioning him.
   "Can you sweep, make beds, shovel walks, run errands, fix meals, balance a
checkbook, and baby-sit?" the churchman asked?
     "Whoa," the young man said, "I only came to see about getting married, but if
it's that much work, I'm not interested." --Virginia Myers, In Saturday Evening Post,
April, 1990

    Mr. Justice McCardie of the British High Court (him self a bachelor) said, “A
bachelor is a man who looks before he leaps and, having looked, he does not

       In a world searching for the latest and best ways to have sex, virginity has
become an embarrassment. This is to be expected in a society that preaches
pleasure, but not in the church where virtue is assumed but not taught. After all,
people reason, what is there to write about abstaining? Sex is seen as a
fulfillment; virginity, as a vacuum. But it had better be more than that, especially
for us single women who outnumber marriageable men by 7.3 million in the U.S.
and most of the available ones are not in the church. So unless we disobey God
outright by marrying a non-Christian, let's face it: many of us will never marry.
Well-meaning friends tell us to believe God for a mate. But God doesn't promise
us that we will ever marry. He promises us Himself. --Julia Duin, Homemade -
February, 1990

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