f jaquJON 2 ^ 6 1 ' I E uojeiM ' A e p u j ' B r n j O J i A ' u o j B u j x a - i ' a j n j i j s u | Ajbi!|!|/\j B!U!BJ!/\
FearlenB F o r e c a s t : For NEED HELP? TOUGH
'72: Good, getting better BREAK? WANT A
with time, For '73, '74, '75: SHOULDER TO CRY ON?
Bleak, sunrise nowhere In HA! HA! TOO BAD! WE
sight. DON T CARE!
front desk '
( 2 )
French Greets Political Challange In his announcement,
Colonel Harry W. French nouncement apparently
announced his decision surprised many political French attacked "the per-
yesterday to retire from the figures. Upon being informed verters of the American way
position of Commandant at of this announcement, while of life" who are "attempting
VMI in order to seek the campaigning in Wisconsin, to destroy everything for
office of President of the Governor George Wallace of which VMI and the United
United States. Alabama immediately an- States have stood for for 133
Simultaneously, Professor nounced his withdrawal from years." When asked who
T. Y. Greet announced his the race and endorsed the these " p e r v e r t e r s " were,
candidacy for the office of French ticket. In his French replied: "Mainly
Vice President on the French statement Wallace main- second classmen."
ticket. Greet's announcement tained that he "had always French went on to state
was made from his office in been for the little man, and that he was confident that,
Scott Shipp Hall. that's why I'm for Harry regardless of whether he was
To Enter Primary French for President." "victorious in this contest or
Both candidates are ex- Wallace went on to say not, the big boys in
pected to file tomorrow in the that, having observed Washington and the other
Rockbridge County French's work at the In- underprivileged areas of the
Presidential P r i m a r y . As stitute, he was confident that U. S. (i. e. non-Rockbridge
Colonel French observed in "law and order" would be Co.) will know that Harry
his announcement: "Today I maintained if he were French has been running."
seek victory in the Rock- elected. Said Wallace: "I am Criticism
Col. Harry W. French, newly announced candidate for President, gives a different kind of bridge County P r i m a r y , confident that the use of The French-Greet ticket
salute at a black power convention. Tomorrow, I may be ruling positive incentive, for which has been criticized by such
America. Who knows, next it French is noted, will produce diverse figures as Shirley
could be the world!" a desire on the part of the Chisholm (who termed the
Buena Vista Plans The reaction of the corps of
cadets to the French an-
nouncement was best sum-
obey society's regulations
public to addition of Greet to the ticket
as "an act close to the ad- T. Y. Greet receives advice from an unidentified supporter.
dition of Agnew to the 1968
GOP ticket in idiocy") and
Ga la High -brow med up by Cadet Snotty
Harse, who observed:
„ No Difference George McGovern,
called French "an advocate
A.. P.. A.. OH,
"Today VMI lost a great Wallace concluded by
man, who will be missed by noting that, although there of jingoistic imperialism i
Hillbilly Synod all who knew him well. He
possessed a great charisma
and an ability to say the right
thing at the right time. Those
"isn't a dime's worth of
difference" between Harry
French and himself, "French
has a greater understaning
foreign affairs." The big
obstacle to the success of the
ticket however, came in »
denunciation of French and
Following closely on the
heels of the VMI Symposium
will be yet another
bridge Symposium will be a
hoedown in the fieldhouse at
Ray Tyree, Wanda Lou
Nicely, Pickle Newcomer,
Sam Ray Tolley, Billy Bob
Tetlow, and Deborah Ann
of us who loved him and knew
him best wish him the best of
luck in future years "
of human beings as a result of
his dealings with college
Greet as "demogogues and
incompetents" by Col. B.
McCluer Gilliam, who is
rumored to be heading an
educational experience, a two in the afternoon. The Surprises Many said Wallace, he would "bow A. W. (Buck-Buck) corps certainly benefits from
symposium entitled, "Buena hoedown will be conducted by Bos well. The French-Greet an- to French." opposition ticket. McElroy-This gentleman his sacrifice. Lee will take up
Vista as Pattern and Portent- John Herman Leroy Swink. exudes fine Southern up- show biz and impersonate
-the Home of the FighUng NECS of RED have really bringing and practically no giraffes and hyenas.
Blues." The BV Symposium outdone themselves in order brains. McElroy has r o l l ^ up C. W. (Good-guy) Rex
is being sponsored by a local to ensure that only the best on impressive record this taking on the responsibility of
community organization, and most desirable items will year as a first classman, helping Red run the P. X.,
Neighbors Entirely Con- be available for the auction. holding the records for best Sandy's best move this year
cerned with the Speeding of Items to be auctioned include company, most demerits, and was discovering a tax
Rockbridge Educational leather jackets, STP stickers, lowest G. P. A. loophole by employing his
Development (NECS of Elvis Presley albums, rifle P. H. (Tiger) Rogers- fiancee, paying her, and
RED). Dates of the Sym- racks, Chet Atkins Counting as his most notable writing it off as a business
posium will be April 1-2. VMI songbooks, and '56 Ford first class achievement the expense. After getting
has lent its full support to pickup hubcaps. An ridding of the Timmins room married Sandy will take up
NECS of RED, allowing the of immoral, and hence all, his pitch fork and sing with
autographed picture of
group to stage the sym- Richard Petty will be given cadets, Pete plans a career as Joan in Cornflake com-
posium on the post. away as a door prize. Music an assistant to Miss Connie mercials on T. V.
Reeves for the hoedown will be on Romper Room. Dave (Clarence Darrow)
An historical prologue will provided by Doc Sen- Skip (Happy) Wigner-The Hall. Dave made "Who
be given in Jackson sabaugh's band, which is not skipper made who cares? due cares?" because he talked
Memorial Hall by Col. Jack to be confused with the to an obvious mistake by the Editor into it. Dave plans
Reeves of the VMI faculty, at somewhat inferior excluding his name from to open a used-car lot and
3 p.m., on April 1st. The topic aggregation (group), which Who's Who. As president of obtain his initial autos by
of Reeves' address will be appears regularly on the VMI's Roof and Tile com- talking their owners out of
"Why Puny Bueny had the "Tonight" show. mittee, rarely has such en- them.
highest VD r a t e in the Chairman of the Rock- tertainment been brought Roger (Ranger Rog) Lodi-
country during World War bridge Symposium is Her- anywhere. how can we leave a person
II." Reeves is a distinguished man Hartless Umborger. K. A. (Mr. Decorum) with so much leadership
m e m b e r of the Biology Other m e m b e r s of the Daigh-Heavy has been ability out of "Who Cares?"
Department, and a member committee are LeRoy Joe noticed by few here at VMI We all know of Roger's
of the national educators' due to his intense desire to contributions to the crack
organization, Benevolent remain behind the scenes. VMI Rangers. Rog will
Order of Masters of Biology Devotion to academics and a always be remembered for
and Such Things (BOM- quiet, shy attitude have his statement, "VMI would
BAST). He is the current marked this man's cadetship. be a pretty good place if it
P a r r y McCluer Memorial Lee (Goon) Siebert- weren't for the academics
Chair guest professor at forsaking his contribution to screwing it up."
Southern Seminary Junior VMI basketball for the
College. stripes of a cadet officer, the WHO CARES?
Reeves' speech will be
followed by the keynote
address, "Why I Live in
B.V.", to be delivered by Roy
Merle Sensabaugh. Sen-
sabaugh hails from an old
Rockbridge County family
and should be adequately
prepared to speak on the Sgt. Col. Stacy Harris recently regaled the Corps on the noted.
subject. Merle didn't do too Why Is this man smiling? subject of Col. Jocko Hays. An enthusiastic response was
well in school, dropping out of
Parry McCluer his junior
year, but the enormity of his
intellect is reflected in the
Stacy Harris Speaks On Jocko Hayes Munchkins Hot For
fact that he became the
youngest Chief Assistant
As Cincinnati Lecture Lasts For Days
Head Foreman on the swing
shift at the Vulcan plant at
the age of 32. Merle is active
Last Wednesday, the Corps 1865. cavalry unit's top horses
was treated to the third an- The theme of the lecture disappeared. Evidently the
in community affairs; he is nual Cincinnati Lecture, was the refutation of the
presently a member of the guard roster with Jocko's Ever since Col. French Knapp, from the Civil
Speaking this year was Lt. " d e b u n k e r s , " who have
name on it was in error, as announced his decision to Engineering Department
Jaycees, an alumnus Colonel Stacy Harris, the attacked other great heroes
member of the FFA, and Harris found a permit for a seek political office, and who represents Engineering,
nation's leading expert on the like George Washington, furlough that Jocko sub- resign his position as Com- Sciences, and Buildings and
treasurer of the county 1956 most interesting and well Patrick Henry, Thomas
Ford Pickup club mitted to visit his brother, mandant, one group of
known man that VMI has Granger, and Bluebeard. The "Horsethief Hayes" in dedicated men have been
The evening session of produced - Jocko Hayes. A debunkers have recently Lynchburg. Hayes later was busily seeking his hasn't been allowed to come '
April 1st will feature a debate new feature of this year's begun to attack Hayes, fin- honest enough to bone replacement: the Com-
lecture was that it was not ding degrading incidents in to the meetings; and Lt. Col, narrowed the field of three the end of eacli semester;
between Jerry Lee Roy Cale himself for entering mandant Selection Com- Stacy Harris, who represents applicants, BUI Calley (he penalities for other offenses
Yarbrough Motley of Buena made a check formation for his past in an effort to Lexington while on furlough. mittee. Composed of six
the Corps. The lectures have dishonor his name. For in- the Commandants Office and j i d n ' t make it; a non- will range from number one
Vista and Joe Calvin Motley members of the VMI com- the PX. alumnus), and Chuck Manson (taking Dr. Davis' novel
Hamrick of Natural Bridge been so well received in the stance, Douglas Southall Hayes was not destined to
reach true greatness until he munity, this organization has Committee (rejected because of previous course), through number six
on the topic, "Who's Better- past. Smith Hall was sure Freeman, obviously a second finally decided to announce
that cadets would need no rate biographer trying to sellwas well on in years, When asked by the CADET commitment in California) (attending a Summer
the Blues or the Rockets?" its preliminary findings. The just what sort of man the and Charlie Whitinan (lost
The debate will be followed undue prodding to attend (see h u hooks, said in his however. He became very Reading Panel and being
influential in national politics committee consists of the committee was looking for, out because he couldn't stand
by a wrestling match in the photo). biography that Hayes following men: General forced to listen to Dr. Davis
at the turn of the century. He General Morgan said: "Well, being on the ground floor), to ask questions), to the
fieldhouse between Haystack In the past, however, there deserted the formation on the James Morgan, Dean of the we were looking for Uiat two other gentlemen who we
Calhoun and Brewster Ford. was the dominant force smallest penalty, number
has been some notice of way to the Battle of New working for the prohibition Faculty, is head of the group, strange combination of man had not previously con-
due to his experience as head sixteen (reading Bleak House
Panel cadets sleeping through the Market and signed the status amendment. As his dream of who will be typical of VMI sidered: J. B. Davis and and liking it). The good
Sunday morning will be program. For this reason, Dr. slip "all right." Through prohibition was realized in of the Superintendent commandants—that touch of Thomas Clark of the VMI
Selection Committee, which doctor will, of course, join the
highlighted with a panel Lloyd Davidson was chosen intensive research, Harris 1919, Jocko left politics to Atilla the Hun, a dash of English Department." Virginia MiUtia. PresenUy he
discussion on " B . V . - ( ^ t e r to give an invigorating forty- found that since Col. French start making a fortune in the produced such excellent Ghengis Khan, and of course James B. Davis, currently
results last year.; Qark King is preparing a final statement
of the state, the country, the five minute introduction to was not yet Commandant in import business. H a r r i s the humor of a Bennet Cerf, associate professor of of his qualifications, entitled
world, the galaxy, the Eye of the Col. Harris' talk. As the 1864, Hayes was able to run made his final defense of of the Physical Education along with a touch of your English, was interviewed by
Department because he "My Hero Napoleon
God." Moderator of the panel temperature approached the the status slip and his honor is
Jocko's character as he at- average Mortimer Snerd. . . the CADET this week. We Bonaparte: We Short People
will be Chip Baker '69, now a nineties and the smell of a intact. tacked the Hayes' Import serves on every committee oh, who is Mortimer Snerd? discussed what changes he
anyway and one more won't Have to Stick Together."
drama teacher at Lexington Company Tax evasion and Well, Uiink of Colonel Simp- would make as commandant,
High School. Members of the permeated J. Hall, ^ r n s Freeman's statement that bootlegging scandal. Harris hurt; Brewster Ford of the son, and subtract about thirty and found Uiat there wiU Clark
panel wiU be Tork McCorkle, came to t t e pc^um^CJffee Hayes was walking guard on proved that during those English Department, who IQ points." General Morgan definitely be an academic Thomas Clark, is also ot the
Claude Hamrick, McKinley provides both respresen- was asked if indeed they had bias towards penalities. Daily English Departmetit,
cup in tend, he launched into po«t No. 5 (in front of what years, income tax was tatives of the arts depart- teaching Public Speaking.
Chittum, and Lefty Shiflett. a higWy scholarly talk on was then the stables) on the nonexistant and bootlegging found such a man. He quizzes on room cleanliness
ments; Col. 'Little Tin' replied: "Sort of. We ^iu be given, with an exam at
Jocko P. Hayes, VMI Class of „ight that twenty-five of the was widespread. A
(con't O page 3)
The final event of the Rock-
Page 2 The V. M. I. Cadet The V M I Cadet, Friday, March 31, 1972
Opinion Page The Editor
" W h e r e m e n h a v e the habit of liberty, the p r e s s will c o n t i n u e to b e the fourth e s t a t e ; the ^off» he
viKilant g u a r d i a n of the r i g h t s of t h e ordinary c i t i z e n . " . . .Sir Winston Churchill. Dear Tommy,
ft or Dear Tom:
/Ipt,/ Fools I have been doing a lot of I think that you have been
thinking about what you said doing a fair job as editor this
last weekend. I redly feel year, but there are a few
Let's Hold The Line ! like I owe you an explanation
of why things went the way
faults that I think need your
attention. Since I am, of
course, known as the
For the past year and a half "financial wizard" of the
Always the first to p r o m o t e the No one but a person of newspaper world, and am
I have been dating a boy that
l o n g - r a n g e i n t e r e s t s of V M I , T h e questionable loyalties, we an- I really thought I was in love presently employed in a
Cadet has been the standard- swer. We demand blanket with. Just recently we have Savings and Loan, I think it
b e a r e r for the conservative d i s a p p r o v a l of a l l s u c h r e q u e s t s . stopped dating. The situation highly appropriate that I
thinker. We a g r e e with those who has been very upsetting and I direct my comments to that
T h e r e w i l l b e n o l a c k of e n -
am beginning to realize it's facet of your editorship.
f e e l t h a t all c h a n g e s in t h e V M I tertainment, for we had a real affecting my other dates. Tom, you know that you
system over the past four years "cultural event" a mere week ago At the end of the dance I should never have cancelled
have been nothing less than chips w i t h t h e s h o w i n g of J o h n W a y n e realized that I must have those issues of the CADET.
a t t h e v e r y c o r n e r s t o n e s of ( H o o r a y ) in T h e G r e e n B e r e t s . been acting pretty bad. Don't you realize that is just
b a r r a c k s , d e s t i n e d t o t u m b l e it t o Really, you didn't "bug the admitting your failure in the
t h e l e v e l of t h a t p l a g u e of hell" out of me, it was just newspaper business? In
American society, "The me. addition, your action showed
Obviously, I'm not a gross negligence of your
Academic Institution." Unfortunately, merely keeping responsibility to your
prepared to date anyone on
A n y o n e w i t h half a b r a i n k n o w s c a d e t s h e r e by disapproving any kind of basis-Tommy, I readers. Depriving them of
t h a t e d u c a t i o n is w o r t h little in p e r m i t s is not enough. We m u s t don't think I would be fair to the benefit of receiving two
today's world. Indeed, a recent you if I kept the date for copies of the publication you
also keep the polluter out.
Easters. I didn't mean to inherited from me is sheer
study by the Educational Studies T h e r e f o r e , let T h e C a d e t b e the torture!!
make you think you bugged
F o u n d a t i o n , u n d e r t h e f i r m of f i r s t t o a d v o c a t e t h e b u i l d i n g of a me and I don't want it to Remember Tom, the idea is
French, Bramlet, and Gray one hundred foot wall en- happen again. to do all your calculating at
found, "Education don't m e a n compassing the entire post. This I don't want our relation- the end of the year. That way,
nuthin in life, i t ' s h o w tuff y a ' a r e , would h a v e a single opening at ship to end with a sour note. I graduation is fun!
dammit." Branding many limits gates, and no one would be really have enjoyed going out
courses at VMI as being "Radical admitted to the post without being Chris Arey with you and my decision is FRED E. BANISTER, JR.
no reflection on you. You
and Communistic" has caused accompanied by birth certificate, have been super and I
them to be discontinued. Among both parents, a n d John Birch
these blots a r e Public Speaking
(always d a n g e r o u s teaching this
Society ID c a r d . In addition, an
o a t h of a l l e g i a n c e w o u l d b e a d -
French-Greet Combo To couldn't have asked for
anyone to be nicer.
I'm really mixed up right
one), Russian History (what m i n i s t e r e d on t h e s p o t . T h i s w i l l now about what I want, and I
effect could that h a v e on u s ? ) , and
L i t e r a t u r e (no l o s s h e r e , n o t h i n g
would also feature a plate glass
roof t o c o v e r t h e p o s t , allowing
h e a t a n d light to e n t e r ,
Win In November
think too much of you to get
you caught in the middle. I
hope you understand.
Editor, VMI Cadet:
Let me take this op-
Although the French-Greet hopes on the widespread says, "Politics makes Love, portunity to extend my sin-
worthwhile h a s been written since keeping out rain, cold, a n d sub- ticket has received the appeal of their platform. The s t r a n g e bedfellows." Col. Kathy cerest gratutude to Col. J.
the Bible a n y w a y ) . versive leaflets. In addition, an backing of the Garnnent- platform consists of the French, formerly an officer Dear Tom: Addison Hagen for providing
Despite this welcome move, extensive public address system Workers Local in Lexington, following main points, (1) in the Kentucky militia, says After reading your fearless the pamphlets on the life of
w o u l d b e i n s t a l l e d to p l a y c o n - and the sohd support of Astroturf for the Daniels^ that he originally planned to editorials all year I have the immortal George S.
m u c h r e m a i n s to b e done. To our millionaire recluse Clarence Library and for the Parade run on the Nixon ticket, but come to greatly admire your Patton. Col. Hagen, you have
s t a n t m u s i c f r o m t h e f i l e s of J o h n
distress, m a n y permits have been Causey, the Wallace sup- field, (2) a campaign to stop he could not lure Greet away journalistic integrity. It is done a great service to the
a p p r o v ^ for c a d e t s to a t t e n d Phillip Sousa. porters still face a stiff the showing of pornographic from the Wallace camp. T. with this in mind that I have corps, and I for one can say
"cultural events" at Virginia, L e t ' s g e t b a c k to t h e good old running in the upcoming movies at the Lyric theatre Y., a strong advocate of the chosen to entrust you with my unequivocally that I will ever
Washington and Lee, and other primary e l e c t i o n . which are driving the English Alabamian, claims lineal greatest secret. I thought you strive to emulate the example
d a y s and stifle this i ^ e c t i o u s Representing the Wallace Society Film Series out of descent from Edward Teach. might appreciate it and I'm of military bearing exem-
schools. Who would t e r m the curiosity about the horrible world ticket, the "Tubes and T.Y." business, (3) the funding of He was quoted as saying, "It plified in the life of this Great
sure you would never publish
Russian Ballet a cultural event? around us!! ticket could meet strong the Cpt. Bruce Herzcough was only because of my it. American. Once again, a
opposition from the local Chair of Military Science, (4) family background that I took My husband sleeps with a
hearty "Thank you" to you.
political maverick, B. Mc- a program to e r a d i c a t e up teaching; I really am a pink teddy bear. Col. Hagen.
Cluer Gilliam. Gilliam, alleged wrongdoing in the demagogue at heart."
Thank You, Thank You teaming up with "Qoudy" Timmins Room. F r e n c h Regardless of the ethereal
Carlsson, is appealing to admits that this platform is rhetoric of Smokey and his
visions of the "American not directly in line with the camp, I really don't see how
Yours in utmost secrecy,
MRS. H. W. F.
J. COLEMAN RAFFO
Class of 1973
Dream," against the "Big national Wallace ticket, but the French-Greet ticket can
O n e of t h e m o s t r e w a r d i n g , y e t tentive attitude and keen interest Boy" image of the French- be defeated in the upcoming
r e g r e t t a b l y , o v e r l o o k e d a s p e c t s of
V M I l i f e i s t h a t of t h e c h a p e l
e v e r y S u n d a y . Also, C h a p l a i n
Wilson v a r i e s his p r o g r a m with
spokesman from the French-
Greet camp told reporters Best Wishes
s e r v i c e s c o n d u c t e d in J a c k s o n Art & Carrie
M e m o r i a l Hall by Chaplain R. K.
Wilson. E a c h Sunday the m e m -
guest speakers, some
f r o m as f a r a w a y a s Buena Vista.
coming that they were not too
worried about the challenge
from the Gilliam-Carlsson
Howes From Here
T h e C A D E T s e e k s not to p r a i s e To T h e The Greek Way, by Andy equations during company
b e r s of t h e c o r p s a r e a f f o r d e d a ticket because of the small 1 3 5 7 E. C h o c o l a t e
Chaplain Wilson, for w o r d s a r e at size of the hard-core workers Davis and Roger Lodi. 122 room, techniques of BS'ing
congenial opportunity to par-
b e s t a p o o r m e a n s of c o m - for the opposition. Smokey pp., with illustrations. Andy your way through English
t i c i p a t e in t h e C h a p l a i n ' s fine Ave. Hershey, Pa. and Rog have come together
municating the spirtual uplift felt claims most of his political Class Of 101 and 102, and how to
services. following among local to create this study of unusual develop the art of spending
by c a d e t s leaving his Sunday 17033
Such authoritative works as the incurable insomniacs. methods the ancients used to the entire night in the PX,
s e r v i c e s . C o m m a n d e r W i l s o n , in develop the closest possible complaining about the lack of
1969 B u l l e t ('72 R a t B i b l e ) e x p r e s s
t h e opinion h e l d by m o s t in s a y i n g
his distinguished position a s John
M . C a m p , '05 C h a p l a i n , i s t h e
The Wallace supporters
have banked most of their
75 Sign P a i n t i n g feelings of unity among their
troops, and how these same
study time. Mrs. Voecks has
also been careful to delete
t h a t Chaplain Wilson "relates Phone 5 3 3 - 2 7 8 0 queer methods^ have been those parts of her book which
N a v y ' s lone c o n t r i b u t i o n to VMI,
m o d e r n theology to topical ser- recently used by the Marine are inapplicable to VMI—
but superior quality m o r e than such as r e f e r e n c e s to
m o n s of i n t e r e s t t o c o l l e g e y o u t h s . Corps.
These services. . .have proven
v e r y p o p u l a r with c a d e t s . " His
m a k e s u p f o r l a c k of q u a n t i t y .
T h e C A D E T would like to t a k e
u p C h a p l a i n ' s c o m m e n t t h a t h e is
Tastee-Freez The Complete History of
Engineering at the Virginia
Military Institute, 12 pp., by
sermons concerning premaritial
"underpaid and overworked." A Where Your Patronage Is Appreciated Scoot R. Knapp. Scooter ON SOUNDS
sex on hop w e e k e n d s a r e a good
e x a m p l e of t h e s k i l l w i t h w h i c h m a n in a p o s i t i o n a s v i t a l a s h i s Knapp has finally written a
book! And what a book it is! Watch out, Chicago, here
the ciiaplain chooses topics for sould be g r a n t e d every con- 6020 Leesburg Pike (Route 7), come the Commanders! Yes,
venience necessary in the Like its author—short.
the typical college student here at On Becoming An Educated all of you far-out freaks, the
c a r r y i n g o u t of h i s d u t i e s . T h e Commanders have added a
VMI. The popularity that his
s p i r t u a l w e l l - b e i n g of t h e c o r p s , s o
Falls Church, Virginia 820-9736 Person (VMI Version). 158
new dimension to hard rock
services hold is readily pp., by Virginia Voecks. Upon
a b l y d i r e c t e d b y the C h a p l a i n , is discovering that the only with their latest release,
acknowledged by the corp's at- "Where Is Glenn Miller Now
at stake. Across From C u l m o r e Shopping C e n t e r people who read her books
were VMI rats, Mrs. Voecks That We Need Him?" This
revised her classic "how to album is where it's going to
succeed at college" be at. This new group is
The Accent & Decorator Shop equally at home with m ^ o w
Morgan Bros. Bag Co., Inc. masterpiece to suit the
peculiar needs of the VMI oldies like "25 or 6 to 4," and
C u s t o m D r a p e r i e s & Fine F u r n i t u r e cadet, especially the rats. original pulsating com-
Included are hints on how to positions like "Stardust," and
G i f t s For A l l Occasions "Pennsylvania 6-5000."
Seaboard Bag Corporation Published Friday afternoon. Entered as'second class matter
memorize R a t chemistry
Slipcovers A n d Rugs
BURLAP PAPER S e p t e m b e r 19.1»46 at the P o s t O f f i c e in Lexington, Virginia,
COTTON POLYETHYLENE Mrs C. A. Childress Manager under the Act of M a r c h 3, 1879. Subscription. 14.00 out of From a
MESH CELLOPHANE b a r r a c k s , $3.50 in b a r r a c k s , 30 i s s u e s . A d d r e s s : Box 7, VMI. College Inn
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The V M I Cadet, Friday, March 31, 1972 The V. M. I. Cadet Page 3
Richard To Be Named
King Of Astroland In
It was revealed yesterday Byers, Tarquon of Tutus and come down or something like
that Richard. Duke de Master of Revels and the that."
Athletic and Regent of Baron de Barksdale, the Deal
Astroland will shortly be dreaded Pink Baron, as Lead Arch Duke Deal, Ruler of
crowned Richard I, King of of the Kings' Secret Service the Scarlet Napus suffering
Astroland and Lord Protector and Job Placement Center. from a cronic case of Postus
of the Lesser Realms. The Though hotly protested by Exchequeus was unavailable
announcement came as a Lord Garry of Percy, it would for comment, while Viscount
complete shock to many who appear that Duke Richrd's Knapp immediately formed a
expected the Regency to last forces have manged to sway committee to discuss the
until Dick, the son of George the rulers of the Lesser Reals issue. The Archduke de
I could assume the throne. to support his claim. Backed Davis, protector of the Realm
In a statement issued from by the E a r l of Tucker, of Wisdom, Truth the Dewey,
the puzzle palace, the Duke Wielder of the Willie Mays carefully cataloguing words
was quoted as saying "Verily and Leader of the Hairy typically efficient manner
it shall follow as night follows Barbarians, Duke Richard stated Agnosce Agnosco
day that training tables will was able to silence what which still has Duke Richard (Above) In an attempt to bring VMI even closer to the twentieth century, A Hell's Angels
Dave Condon, pictured here at his summer retreat high in o'er flow with the fruits of opposition there was. guessing. chapter has been opened at VMI. Here we see the two faculty members in the chapter, "Hog"
the Sangre de Fatso mountains of southern North Dakota, was Astroland, that the subjects In an effort to guarantee Wilson and "Dagger" Gray out lookin' for chics on their moshine. When asked why the two
recently named valedictorian of the Class of 1972. This of the realm shall have their Archduke Drumm of the support from lesser realms, were forced the characteristic Harley, Wilson answered: "We didn't have much to shop with,
academic wonder, famous for being large in many areas, ii own recreation land and that Land of Yawns when asked Duke Richard has vowed to our only source of income was the donations of cadets in J . M. Hall for the past fifty-seven
shown striking a deeply religious pose while praying to Duck- this land shall be all-weather. whether or not he would lead contrive the struggle initiated years, totaling $236.17 and 413 coates buttons." The CADET expects the State and Federal
butt, God of Crlsco, the major diety of the Blob religious sect. No expense will be spared his forces on the side of the by King George authorities to put the clamps on this crew in the near future, as Buena Vista, Fairfield,
Dave, upon graduation, will enter the priesthood of this famous even to the ends of exhausting Duke of Lord Harry stated I against the dreaded Waynesboro, and Elkton in the surrounding countryside have already been terrorized. The duo
religion, which counts among its members such other well- the realm's treasury." quite plainly, "Gee, I don't Marquis Mickup the may self-destruct anyway, as Gray is bitter because Wilson is pulling rank on him and won't let
known VMI men as Brewster Ford and Fat Charlie. His an- know," while the Earl of Rodent, placing in command him drive.
nounced topic for a graduation address Is "A Valediction: Duke Reeves, Master of the
It is also rumored that the of this courageous crusade
Forbidding Skinny." Compost, refused to take
Duke has already established Lord Simpson, Marshall of
a Privy Council (supposedly
sides. Upon hearing of the
Duke's ascension, the the Mundane, High Totem of Coronation
named for the number of Marquis de Lancaster, the Trivial, and Inquisitor of
dead-ends it overpasses) Prince of Foreignland was the Insipid. Lord Simpson's
VMI Consecrates naming many of the realms
leading peers. The ap-
heard to speak in tongues,
which thoroughly amazed all
forces are ready waiting but
for the troops of Thane
The coronation will take
place in Castle Cocke, the
pointments made, pending of his subjects. Thalman (the Skull Ousher) Duke's favorite residence.
the coronation, are Baron recently returned from their Eari Neikirk, Master of the
The Comte Carpenter of
Another Holy Day McDonough,
Fantasyland was at a loss to
understand what was hap-
battles in the South. The
Thane stands in high favor of
the duke who is impressed by
Golden Fleece and wielder of
the $1000 handshake has
pledged to present the Duke
Lord Nichols, Wielder of the pening but stated that with a new palace (Multi-
his philosophy and bumper
Colonel Simpson some small close-knit classes Torrh of Knowledge: Lord " w h a t e v e r goes up must purpose).
t.inounced that 17 February sticker.
like those we had back in the
has been designated old corps; classes cemented
Breakout Day, in honor of the together by such feelings as
10 fourthclassmen who were brother rat spirit,
victims of the actions that MAJOR THOMAS CLARK
togetherness, and per-
occurred on that night. A secution. In fact, I think that
statue will be erected in the we ought to suspend a few
At a recent rock concert featuring pacifist folk singers. Col.
J a m e s "Zenker J i m " Bramlet went berserk, leaped onto the
old courtyard which will be miliUry duties prior to the (con't from page 1)
entitled "Daddy-0 Mourning stage and slashed Joan Baez with a c o m m a n d o knife then, of his qualifications: " I
lappointed day and give the thrusting his hand into the bloody wound, wrenched out the When approached by this Oughta Be Commandant.
his Dead." The corps will upper classes lessons in close •'still palpitating heart and held it aloft s c r e a m i n g "Sic interviewer, he stammered
form around the stoops on Because I Talk Good."
combat so they can do it right Semper P e a c e Freakus." He then proceeded to gobble it that he would seek a change Lt. Col. Harris, said he had
this occasion and a roll call next time! The Rats will down in one sanguine gulp, laughingmaniacally all the while in penalities so that a man
will be held during which ten no preference either way,
really learn what pressing up and belching blood e v e n as police dragged him off into could get out of being boned only that whoever made the
ghetto residents will answer the hill means." custody. by the eloquence of his an-
to each of the deceased best coffee should be given
However, in keeping with swer. He further muttered the office. Dr. King said he
cadets names with a under his breath that haircut
resounding "died on the sto(^) its policy of not reversing its hadn't voted for anyone since
own policy, Smith Hall has regulations would be changed Bill Calley had been
of honor, sir!" to allow the basic ducktail
stated that none of the eliminated; and Brewster
Upon being asked if the penalties received during the with grease, uniform Ford was still trying to sit
breakout tradition will period after the activities will regulations modified to allow down. General Morgan said
continue, Colonel F r e n c h be reduced or removed. wide black ties and double- that "The final qualifications
responded in the following knit grey shirts and flared has yet to be met by both
manner. He said, "Hell yes! straight pants, as well as men: trial by combat, with
Classes these days are too pointy shoes. Mr. Clark both of the httle munchkins,
large anyway. A few more of Lexington stuttered his great love for er, candidates, having a
these things and we will have the VMI System, and hem- charisma battle in Scott
med and hawed his desire for Shipp Hall. The winner of this
Hordwore the office of commandant. will assume the duties of
For Sole He, like Dr. Davis, is Commandant; the loser gets
preparing a final statement to head the next committee."
Main Street, Best Wishes To
Albemarle County The Class Of
Farm. 315 acres. Moderns
br. house. Power & Tel. New
fence. 2 barns. New road. 75
900 ft. frontage. Lake. Christian Students
Worlds of water. Adjacent To Jerry John E. Healy
to vast Shenandoah (wild-
erness) National Park. Serve on u team re- & Sons Inc.
Hard suface all the way And novating a church in
to courthouse 17 miles. Montpelier, Vermont,
Priced to sell. Excellent or on the camp staff
terms. 25% down. Bal- at Eagle Eyrie (life Wilmington, Del.
ance 5 years 7%. Write Jerry To My One guard, grounds, etc.)
L. Bell for complete in-
formation. 4 Old Farm Best Wishes To
Hamric & Sheridan Jewelers For information call
Road, Charlottesville, Love Me And Only Campus Minister, at
Va. 22901 Watch And Jewelry Repair, Engraving 463-7479 or 463-5254. Since 1890
75 "F. W . "
Good Luck Compliments Of Love Your Best Wishes To
Heftlngs Florist Carol W. L. Foltz & Son inc.
"B- B." The Class Of
Class Of 7 2 First Federal 122 South Main Street
From Savings Lane Lexington, Virginia
Good Luck Compliments To Isaacs
DBW & HJW General Insurance
72 The Class Fashions Service Station
Good Luck 7 2 Roy Hansen Of 8th & Washington
Mortgage Co. Hopewell, Va.
A. A. & J. J. 19731 Wilmington, Del>
Camp Sea Gull
Vincent & Son's Academy Of Bill Wood '54 Pamlico Sound • Lower
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Good Luck Mark. 3416 W. Broad St. Richmond, Va. 23230
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At Pemberton Rd. 358-6263
V. M. I. SPORTS CADET
Page 4 The V M I Cadet, Friday, March 31, 1972
USMC Tucker Gives
Baseball New Look
t ^ ' n T a l e Of
The CADET recently in-
baseball coach. Tommy
Tucker, USMC. Tucker,
whose vast experience on the
Americati, clean cut, and
hard as a rock.
CADET: Sir, did any VMI
fans travel up to Harrison-
burg to cheer the team on?
commie infiltrated teams out
of the state and then we'll set
up 360 security and defend
our positions. Boy, when was
the last time you had a
In this, the first of a series go as to leave our "B. R." say "Right
of articles concerning our confined in solitary bliss. To remember the Champ of '74
TUCKER: Yes sir and I haircut. . . esteemed atheletes, we wiU these "real champions" we because he remembers you!
diamonds in Viet Nam made
stopped the game in the review the off season
him the obvious choice for the
middle of the third inning to escapades of an outstanding
new head coach, was quite
go over and get the names of VMI representative in ex-
candid, as usual:
the cadets that were in tracurricular activities.
TUCKER: Stand at ease!
Now mister, you're talking to
civilian clothes. Swimmers Case no. one involves our
Chicano brother rat (Lee
a marine now so you had CADET: What kind of
better shape up. shape is the team in now? Marvin). After a season of
CADET: Yes sir. Coach
Tucker, sir, how was the turn
TUCKER: Great shape.
Marines are tough.
CADET: With the obvious
Give Coach Thalman runs practice on the recently configcated
brutal involvement on the
football field he single-
handedly challenged and
out for this year's squad? Patchin field.
improvement in the team's defeated a stampede of 150
TUCKER: Good. All my bold-hearted rats on their
men are good. No long haired abihties do foresee more and ^ V* n M o
attempt to break away from
commies in my outfit. more cadets turning out to
CADET: That's neat.
Coach, sir. Did you have to
cut many men?
TUCKER: Ours is a tough
play baseball next year?
TUCKER: Yes sir, but they
won't make it. If everyone
The Swimming team has
just finished its first winning
season in many years. Now
Thalman the annual initiation process
of the Institute.
willingness to uphold In-
stitute tradition spurred his
wanted to play baseball, it that the season is over, it's actions on to the point of his It was announced earlier But Gary's earlier status
team to get into. I was only proving he is undoubtably this
wouldn't be baseball. Lots of time to hand out thanks to all week that VMI isn't evident in his playing.
looking tor a few good men so worthy of his commendment Basketball has finally gotten As Krone says, "this kid
men want the responsibility the people who aided (?)
I did have to send a few boys and acknowledgement of the that shot in the arm it has packs more power than any
of being on the team but few them in their victorious
packing. But the men that supreme honor of the In- been searching for. The UO pounder I've seen."
men will seek it so there's season.
stayed are tough. I never Recently The CADET sent to be a part of it. These young stitute: the No. 1 acclaim
your answer. Marines know "needle" is Gary Pitzltski, a
promised them a rose gar- its ace reporter, Howard men will combine with our (and a few under the table seven foot five inchj>roduct of
where it's at, boy.
den, you know. At the top of the list would Crotchrot, to cover a banquet present varsity players to extras).
CADET: Sir, where do you have to be the man who plans Plodsville, Ohio. He is the More to Come
CADET: How have your in which VMI head football continue the winning attitude
go from here? the excellent training meals When asked to comment on youngest and the best of the Coach Krone isn't going to
practices been? coach presented his weekly that is prevalent at VMI.
TUCKER: Well, there's for the team. Every good his nomination, Lee stated, eight Pitziteki brothers who rest on his laurels. He'll be
TUCKER: Tough. We start always another battle in address to the great alumni of Since my staff and myself
swimmer knows that you are " I t is an indescribable were the greatest Polish back on the road Monday
with a little old fashioned PT. another war. We aren't going the Virginia Military In- have come here we have
able to compete better on a feeling. I don't want to take products of the Plodsville hustling up more blue
Then I have each man carry to stop fighting until we have stitute. It went as follows: brought about many changes
diet rich in fats. It was all the credit. Without the playground. chippers for the Big Red.
two forty pound buckets of driven every one of those " B e f o r e I get started that will help develop a better
always nice to know that a stem backing of my beloved Krone High on PltziUki Krone works the Ohio area.
sand around the bases ten gentlemen I would just like to football program. One of the
big, thick steak would be "B. R.'s" and other members Ace VMI recruiter Smooth As he has often stated, "those
times, followed by a little say that our program has factors that we have vastly
waiting in order to prepare of the Corps, I don't feel I Harry Krone takes full credit Ohio pastures. That's where
close order drill. Gotta have made many strides forward improved is one that is vitally
you for the day's competition. would be drawing such for landing PitziUki. "He's the players are."
discipline boy, no teairt's any since I became head coach. I important to a major college
It was also comforting to detailed appraisal. the next Goose Gillespie," Krone is no stranger to
good without discipline. Did I know that you, the esteemed football team: a nutritious
ever tell you about the time in know that after the meet was alumni of VMI, Uke to hear and enjoyable training table. Somehow it just doesn't says Krone. "What this boy Ohio roundball. In high school
Nam when we. . .
Best Of Luck over, there would be a seem fair that I should reap had to overcome to play ball he starred on the Mighty
this sort of thing, and I am Each meal the men ex-
CADET: Yes sir. In your delicious "picnic" lunch to more than happy to present perienced such meals as all fruits, but then I guess I'm is the greatest success story Mites, the best midget team
replace the supper you had chicken ala king, chicken just lucky!" since Lance Rentzel." in Akron. In college he served
first game you came from the facts to you.
behind to nip Madison In The missed. Perhaps the highest chow mein, deep fried eggs, It has been rumored that What Coach Krone was as an athletic supporter for
compliment of all was paid to I can't express the team's next year's freshmen class referring to was that Gary those great Ohio State teams
College. Would you care to gratitude for the financial, and creamed beef on toast.
comment? the fine cuisine by some of the Even steak and eggs was will not be given an op- was not always Gary, but of the Sixties.
visiting coaches, at the State moral and spirtual support portunity to take on Chicano became an All American boy A lot of people were after
TUCKER: We weren't 1972 Season you have given us. Because of provided on the day of a
Meet (hosted by VMI), who game. " B r o t h e r " R a t since his only a f t e r a difficult PitziUki's talent and it was
behind, boy, that was your loyalty we played
insisted on taking their teams uniform and equipment have operation. It wasn't always only a f t e r a long hard
strategy. Besides, my men tremendously against The final thing I would like
over the W&L to eat after a been retired. There a r e easy being an awkward weekend in a downtown
were a little uneasy playing Davidson, William and Mary, to say gentlemen is that we
those queer people, if you Go Keydets! few meals here, saying, "If
we let our boys eat this fine and showed our true form need to upgrade our schedule.
probably many others worthy
of his honor but they have
ten year old and hearing the Akron motel that Krone was
know what I mean. No sir, other kids say "but he plays able to persuade young Gary
food, they'll refuse to go back against Maryland, Rich- I feel that the teams we have chosen to remain anonymous like a girl."
none of them fags in the to ink the contract.
to the slop we've been feeding mond, and Chattanooga. played are not of the quality
marines. Our men are all- One of our most tremen- that we should be facing. In
dous leaps forward has been view of this I have revised our
our ability to sign quality 1972 schedule to include six
SPORTS STAFF It was always a matter of
surprise to team members
when they ended up pa>ing
football players. At present
we have 25 scholarship
Southern Conference schools
Oklahoma, Michigan State,
Editor athletes coming here next
for snacks, etc. on road trips, year, all of whom have been Toledo, North Carolina,
Tom Williamson knowing that they a r e truthfully told of the school Stanford, Alabama, LSU. . . "
Associate Editor perhaps the only team having and all of whom will be proud
John Archer to do this. But the team didn't
Writers mind, it was worth paying in
order to swim for VMI.
Bill Vouell, Joe Crowe. Walt Galanty, Jim Ackley, T.j. Thanks to the man in charge Let y o u r local travel a-
Wilson, Mike Dugan, Pete Ledbetter, Henry Bruno, Johnny of fmances. g e n c y help w i t h all y o u r
Morton. t r i p plans. T i c k e t s here
And finally, thanks must go cost n o m o r e , we give
for the understanding and b e t t e r service and t a k e
sympathy received from the care of r e s e r v a t i o n s
Administration for the un- promptly.
Clark & Pritchard derstanding and sympathy
received from the Ad-
ministration with regard to
Clothiers rest prior to meets. Every
fool knows that in endurance
For tickets to anywhere
call us or c o m e by
sports, you compete at your
best when you're a bit tired.
Hopewell's Headquarters Travel Unlimited Unidentified lacrosse player wrestles with the log of life.
By the way, how did they
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