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Mutually Therapeutic Relationships

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					Dr. Paul
                     Mutually Therapeutic Relationships [MTR]
  Find out the secrets of champions in marriage and other intimate relationships and
                          solve your most important problems!

         Discover the secrets of those couples who have learned how to help each other.

    Overcome obstacles and achieve agreeable solutions for maximizing mutual emotional,
                       spiritual, mental and relationship potentials.

     We are familiar with the concepts of a helping relationship. There is the helper and the person to be helped,
a helpee. Human beings have been helping one another for millions of years. Even the Bible in Genesis talks
about helpmates. So why as modern humans do we shy away from the concept that partners in intimate
relationships can be therapeutically helpful to each other? There has been a taboo against relationships where
one partner acts as a guide, a helper and a therapist to the other. But, it seems to me that it is absolutely
essential that effective relationships allow for reciprocal help mating.

    Have you ever come home from a very stressful day, perplexed by monumental problems and you need
someone sympathetic to talk to in order to get clear about what's happening? Who, better than your partner who
knows you all too well, can you ventilate to and get positive and effective feedback from? I'm not saying that you
should entertain such an idea without first understanding what goes into a Mutually Therapeutic Relationship
[MTR]. I am also not saying that you need an advanced degree in psychology in order to be of therapeutic
benefit to your mate and other family members. In fact, most professional disciplines exert great effort to
discourage such interactions. I don't blame them if those relationships become one-sided and out of balance
power wise.

     I am talking about a therapeutic relationship that can potentially exist between two equal individuals involved
in intimate relationship. I have never known intimate partners who did not wish to be available for lending help to
a beloved other. The problem that inhibits most marital relationships from becoming mutually helpful is when
one partner becomes clinically ill and the other is faced with dealing with inevitable crisis. Even then, I believe it
is possible that when one partner is flooded with issues and problems, the other one may become quite skilled
at offering effective help.

     I believe that this process can be facilitated with the assistance of professionals who are highly trained in the
specific problems that effect current relationships. Let me give you an example. James is plagued by personal
issues at work. When he arrives home his tensions interfere with the establishment of a tranquil home
atmosphere. He needs therapy. But, there is no psychiatrist or other highly trained professional available at
home. So, whom can he turn to? The obvious answer is his magnificent wife, Sylvia. Fortunately, Sylvia has
acquired extensive empathic listening skills from her own therapy. Poor James is almost afraid and
embarrassed to approach his wife with his disturbed inner state. Fortunately, they have been informed and
trained in Dr. Paul's method of [MTR].

     Sylvia senses James's discomfort and invites him into a therapeutic session of Undivided, Uninterrupted
Attention. This couple has successfully mastered concepts and principles of providing 13 to 20 hours a week of
uninterrupted attention to each other. They fully understand the extreme importance of providing undivided time
to their relationship on a daily basis. This therapeutic encounter will take place during one of these after dinner
Uninterrupted Attention sessions.

    Let's face it; it's hard to get onto the more pleasurable aspects of your relationship when stressful problems
plague your psyche. That's not to say that a passionate, affectionate lovemaking session is not in and of itself
therapeutic. You'll notice that I have a very expanded view of what constitutes therapeutic activity. But, in this
example, Sylvia very easily volunteers to allow James to ventilate his anxieties and conflicts to his beloved
highly treasured wife.
     OK, dinner is finished and all of the usual chores have been attended to. It is now time for Sylvia and James
to get down to real help mating activity. He is sitting in his favorite chair and she postures herself in an attentive,
empathic position. He knows that she will be fully receptive to listening and understanding his woes. As he airs
out his conflicts and tensions, she nonverbally expresses loving concern for what ails him. In his mind, she is
building up enormous points in his Love Account. He trusts her to fully hear him and to offer him the love and
support that he so desperately needs in a world that demands so much of him. She is his garden of Eden, the
soft place where he can land and a trusted refuge from the wars that he faces every day. She is his comfort and
his security. He loves and trusts her completely and he knows that she would never do anything to hurt him.
Together, they make an indispensable team for building relationship magic and providing a warm, safe and
loving environment for their children. He knows that he can go to her with anything that is on his mind and in his
heart. She feels the same trust and admiration for her beautiful and wonderful husband, James.

     I ask you. Is this the fertile ground for a helping relationship? Absolutely! James begins to pour his heart out
and it is not long before his pain oozes to the surface with groundbreaking release and insightful discovery.
Sylvia provides him with supportive and accurate feedback. They both feel received by one another. Later that
evening, James goes off to his sanctuary and works more of his pain. By the end of the night, he has reached a
climactic peak experience and the both of them are feeling ecstatic due to the resolution of their pain. With such
clarity, the next day the two of them are extremely well prepared to meet the challenges of their daily lives.
Sylvia knows that James will always be there for her and James trusts his wife to be as solid as the rock of
Gibraltar. She knows that when the going is tough, James will always be there for her and will never fail her.

    Well, you ask, how do I get there?

    1. Take care of all old business by working your primal feelings to total resolution.

    2. Learn everything that you can about how to build Sizzling Relationships/Ecstatic Marriages.

    3. Gather all of your tools, props, teachers, and mentors to start your journey.

    4. Learn empathic, active listening skills.

    5. Establish Undivided relationship time that allows for everything that has to be said to be said.

    6. Read Dr. Paul's Sizzling Relationships/Ecstatic Marriages in all its updated and revised forms.

    7. Decide that you are going to do everything that you can to get back in touch with and reclaim all of your
       bottom-line feelings.

    8. Acknowledge and list all of your most important needs.

    9. Commit yourself to learning and fulfilling all of your partner's most important needs.

    10. Actively remove everything from your relationship that is defeating and holding it back.

    11. Take complete and full responsibility for every aspect of yourself. Stop blaming!

    12. Make sure that you are a source of joy, fun, pleasure, pride and admiration for yourself and your
        spouse.

    13. Accept the reality that your personal growth never ends.

    14. Decide that you are going to be a therapeutic helpmate rather than a destroyer of happiness, especially
        your own.

				
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