To help you raise confident happy children we have put together: *A bedtime ritual to do with your child that will build confidence and build a strong connection with you – this will help them fall asleep contented and have them feeling good about themselves *The breakfast time ritual that builds character strength and helps your child confidently stride through the day*An after school ritual that builds an attitude of gratitude – all parents will absolutely love this, especially when the gratitude comes in your direction!
Rituals For Raising Confident Happy Children Thanks for taking a look at our guide to Rituals For Raising Confident Happy Children. We're Neil and Amber of Hot Chocolate Club and we're really pleased you are here! This guide contains 3 rituals which are designed to help your child become confident and positive about life. We’ve specifically chosen these rituals because we’ve found they helped the children in our home to feel secure, nurtured and positive about life. With that support in place at important times of the day this gives them the perfect springboard to leap forward from. All these rituals have been tried and are still used within our home and we are sure you will have as much success with them as we do. You can start parts of some of these rituals practically from birth, though other aspects need to be added when you child can talk and think for themselves – until then you can fill in the blanks for them. While these are the Hot Chocolate Club suggested rituals, we always welcome hearing how you tweaked or improved what we have shared with you and we love hearing about new ideas, so come on over to meet us and the rest of the Hot Chocolate Club Community at http://www.facebook.com/hotchocolateclubcommunity/, and share your stories, tips and questions. Together we can help you get more from your time with your kids. Make sure you ‘Like’ the page – we can then let you know when we release other videos, ebooks and guides like this one. Looking forward to meeting you! Amber and Neil Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes 14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com About Hot Chocolate Club and this resource… Hot Chocolate Club was established in appreciation of two facts: 1. Kids want and need more of their parents' time and energy. 2. Parents are busy and need to know how to make the biggest impact on their kids in the few short years they have to positively influence them. Hot Chocolate Club is the idea of Neil Fellowes, an entrepreneur dedicated to helping the world become a better place, and his daughter Amber. Neil’s work is to inspire the parents into having the biggest impact on their children in the limited time available, while Amber’s job is to inspire the kids to gain the most possible from their parent’s knowledge, abilities and guidance. This e-guide is intended to inspire you and help you to connect more with your kids and we do hope you enjoy it. Amber, Neil & the Hot Chocolate Team Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes 14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com The Bedtime Ritual This bedtime ritual will build confidence and build a strong connection between child and parent. It will help them fall asleep contented and have them feeling good about themselves and increase the likelihood of waking up happy and optimistic. Here are the steps • Sit close to your child and talk about the 3-5 things from the day that they most enjoyed. It might be something funny, a moment when they felt loved, close to nature, when they learned something or something that excited them. Remember this is about them and we suggest you don’t impose any rules about what feels right. When you’ve spoken about it write it down. If your child is a young, write for them, one day, when they are ready they will ask to do the writing. • Select a song (or two) that gives your child the message you would most like to leave them with at the end of the day. Play this song every night and it will create a very powerful anchor to the love you share with them. A song I used with my daughter is “You are so beautiful to me” by Joe Cocker. You can play the song as many times as you like, cuddling your child until they fall asleep if you want to, or you can play it once and say good night. We used to sing it the first time and then fall asleep to it. It’s your choice, but keep in mind whatever choice you make, your child will expect that every night, so if you try to leave after the first play through and the ritual is 3, they’ll expect 3. So set the game up in the way you are most comfortable. Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes 14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com The Breakfast Time Ritual Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com The breakfast time ritual is designed to give your kids a positive start to the day and send them off feeling happy. • Children, around the age where they start school, through to about 7 years old, sometimes have no idea what day of the week it is, so they sometimes have no idea if they need to be in uniform or in normal clothes. When you wake them in the morning it can be helpful to remind them what day it is and what that means. • For children up to the age of 7 (possibly 8 with boys) help them get out of bed and be with them while they brush their teeth and get washed. Help them as much as you can when they need it, but encourage them to do more and more as they go from 48 years old. This might mean you need to get up 5 or 10 minutes earlier. Help them get dressed. As they get older you can be with them, but be less involved. • Aim to be at the breakfast table by a set time, where you can eat together, even if it is just for 5 minutes. While you sit together talk about character and the importance someone’s character has on how their life goes. Ask them about a character quality that might be useful to help them through the day. You may choose to go first to set an example. Qualities that might help are: * Kindness – If someone at school is annoying but not bullying them. * Courage – If they are being picked on they may need the courage to speak to a teacher. * Support – caring for a friend who needs help. * Leadership – Taking charge on a project. * Clarity – Being clear on what you want, why you want it, and making it happen. In order to get your children – and you – to the breakfast table in a receptive mood, you may also need to instil some rules in the household such as no TV or game stations on weekday mornings – unpopular to start with, but it will work when they get used to it and your life – and theirs will be better for sticking to this (though it might not seem that way to begin with if it’s been part of the morning routine for years). We found this made a huge difference to our family when we did this and the mornings were so much more relaxed and enjoyable. Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes 14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com The Dinner Time Ritual This dinner time ritual builds an attitude of gratitude. You'll absolutely love this, especially when the gratitude comes in your direction! Here's how it goes. As we begin each meal I tell each person at the table one thing I have appreciated about them during the day. I’ll say their name, look directly at them, in their eyes, and use words that are not generalised or vague. For example, “Amber, what I appreciated about you today was that lovely smile you gave me when I came to wake you up this morning. You smiling like that gave me a spring in my step. I loved it.” The appreciation doesn’t have to be complicated it can be very simple. For example: “Amber, I appreciate you putting your breakfast dish in the sink this morning. It makes such a difference when you help like that. Thank you.” Or “Amber, I appreciate that you tidied your room. This meant a lot to me because I didn’t have to remind you. Nice one!” So I go around the table and appreciate everyone. My wife will then pick up on my cue and follow suit, unless Amber is ready with something to say and we’ll eventually all have said something. This is a far better way to begin dinner. It’s better than nagging. In fact nagging will fall away naturally, because as you praise each little change your child makes, they will repeat it – they even seem to look for things they want praise for and sometimes they’ll couch and say “And what about…?” And then you jump in and say “Of course…” and appreciate that. When we are done appreciating each other we will return to the breakfast ritual and ask about how their character trait helped them today. Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes 14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com A Final Word These routines might take a while to bed themselves in, that will come down to your child’s responsiveness and your leadership. Where parents can work together and support these rituals – but not enforce them – the family will follow suit, especially if the children get more praise and positive attention. One story I have heard on these rituals was from a family of four. The mum and dad worked together, the daughter joined in, but for a month the son rejected the routine and didn’t want to participate. But after noticing the attention his sister was getting and that he wasn’t getting much, he threw himself into it. The earlier you can get these rituals into your children’s life the better. If you are starting with teenagers, the bedtime ritual might not seems so appropriate – though why not, if creates connection and feels good for both parent and child? I also don’t suggest bringing all changes in at once, try one, let that settle, add a second, let that settle, add the third. And remember, what you instil in your children in confidence, love, character and gratitude from these rituals, they will instil in their children and as a result you will have a stronger, more confident, loving and closer family who will love and appreciate life. We’d love to you come on over to meet us and the rest of the Hot Chocolate Club Community at http://www.facebook.com/hotchocolateclubcommunity/, and share your stories, tips and ask your questions. Together we can help you get more from your time with your kids. Make sure you ‘Like’ the page too – we can then let you know when we release other videos, ebooks and guides like this one. Neil & Amber x www.HotChocolateClub.com Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes 14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com
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