Nurturing Rituals For Children

							        Rituals For Raising Confident
               Happy Children
 Thanks for taking a look at our guide to Rituals For Raising Confident Happy
 Children.

 We're Neil and Amber of Hot Chocolate Club and
 we're really pleased you are here!

 This guide contains 3 rituals which are designed
 to help your child become confident and positive
 about life.

 We’ve specifically chosen these rituals because
 we’ve found they helped the children in our
 home to feel secure, nurtured and positive about
 life. With that support in place at important times of the day this gives them the
 perfect springboard to leap forward from.

 All these rituals have been tried and are still used within our home and we are sure
 you will have as much success with them as we do.

 You can start parts of some of these rituals practically from birth, though other
 aspects need to be added when you child can talk and think for themselves – until
 then you can fill in the blanks for them.

 While these are the Hot Chocolate Club suggested rituals, we always welcome
 hearing how you tweaked or improved what we have shared with you and we love
 hearing about new ideas, so come on over to meet us and the rest of the Hot
 Chocolate Club Community at http://www.facebook.com/hotchocolateclubcommunity/,
 and share your stories, tips and questions. Together we can help you get more from
 your time with your kids.

 Make sure you ‘Like’ the page – we can then let you know when we release other
 videos, ebooks and guides like this one.

 Looking forward to meeting you!

 Amber and Neil




                              Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes
14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com
  About Hot Chocolate Club and this resource…
  Hot Chocolate Club was established in appreciation of two facts:

  1. Kids want and need more of their parents' time and energy.

  2. Parents are busy and need to know how to make the biggest impact on their
  kids in the few short years they have to positively influence them.

  Hot Chocolate Club is the idea of Neil
  Fellowes, an entrepreneur dedicated to
  helping the world become a better place,
  and his daughter Amber.

  Neil’s work is to inspire the parents into
  having the biggest impact on their children
  in the limited time available, while Amber’s
  job is to inspire the kids to gain the most
  possible from their parent’s knowledge,
  abilities and guidance.

  This e-guide is intended to inspire you and help you to connect more with your
  kids
  and we do hope you enjoy it.

  Amber, Neil & the Hot Chocolate Team




                              Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes
14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com
                             The Bedtime Ritual
 This bedtime ritual will build confidence and build a strong connection between
 child and parent. It will help them fall asleep contented and have them feeling
 good about themselves and increase the likelihood of waking up happy and
 optimistic.

 Here are the steps

     •   Sit close to your child and talk about the 3-5 things from the day that they
         most enjoyed. It might be something funny, a moment when they felt
         loved, close to nature, when they learned something or something that
         excited them. Remember this is about them and we suggest you don’t
         impose any rules about what feels right.

         When you’ve spoken about it write it down. If your child is a young, write
         for them, one day, when they are ready they will ask to do the writing.

     •   Select a song (or two) that gives your child the message you would most
         like to leave them with at the end of the day. Play this song every night
         and it will create a very powerful anchor to the love you share with them.

 A song I used with my daughter is “You are so beautiful to me” by Joe Cocker.

 You can play the song as many times as you like, cuddling your child until they
 fall asleep if you want to, or you can play it once and say good night.

 We used to sing it the first time and then fall asleep to it.

 It’s your choice, but keep in mind whatever choice you make, your child will
 expect that every night, so if you try to leave after the first play through and the
 ritual is 3, they’ll expect 3. So set the game up in the way you are most
 comfortable.




                              Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes
14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com
                        The Breakfast Time Ritual
    Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com
    The breakfast time ritual is designed to give your kids a positive start to the day and
    send them off feeling happy.

    • Children, around the age where they start school, through to about 7 years old,
    sometimes have no idea what day of the week it is, so they sometimes have no idea
    if they need to be in uniform or in normal clothes. When you wake them in the
    morning it can be helpful to remind them what day it is and what that means.

    • For children up to the age of 7 (possibly 8 with boys) help them get out of bed and
    be with them while they brush their teeth and get washed. Help them as much as
    you can when they need it, but encourage them to do more and more as they go
    from 48 years old. This might mean you need to get up 5 or 10 minutes earlier. Help
    them get dressed. As they get older you can be with them, but be less involved.

    • Aim to be at the breakfast table by a set time, where you can eat together, even if it
    is just for 5 minutes.

    While you sit together talk about character and the importance someone’s character
    has on how their life goes. Ask them about a character quality that might be useful to
    help them through the day. You may choose to go first to set an example.

    Qualities that might help are:

    * Kindness – If someone at school is annoying but not bullying them.
    * Courage – If they are being picked on they may need the courage to speak to a
    teacher.
    * Support – caring for a friend who needs help.
    * Leadership – Taking charge on a project.
    * Clarity – Being clear on what you want, why you want it, and making it happen.

    In order to get your children – and you – to the breakfast table in a receptive mood,
    you may also need to instil some rules in the household such as no TV or game
    stations on weekday mornings – unpopular to start with, but it will work when they
    get used to it and your life – and theirs will be better for sticking to this (though it
    might not seem that way to begin with if it’s been part of the morning routine for
    years).

    We found this made a huge difference to our family when we did this and the
    mornings were so much more relaxed and enjoyable.




                              Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes
14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com
                          The Dinner Time Ritual
  This dinner time ritual builds an attitude of gratitude. You'll absolutely love this,
  especially when the gratitude comes in your direction!

  Here's how it goes.

  As we begin each meal I tell each person at the table one thing I have appreciated
  about them during the day.

  I’ll say their name, look directly at them, in their eyes, and use words that are not
  generalised or vague.

  For example, “Amber, what I appreciated about you today was that lovely smile you
  gave me when I came to wake you up this morning. You smiling like that gave me a
  spring in my step. I loved it.”

  The appreciation doesn’t have to be complicated it can be very simple.

  For example: “Amber, I appreciate you putting your breakfast dish in the sink this
  morning. It makes such a difference when you help like that. Thank you.” Or “Amber,
  I appreciate that you tidied your room. This meant a lot to me because I didn’t have
  to remind you. Nice one!”

  So I go around the table and appreciate everyone. My wife will then pick up on my
  cue and follow suit, unless Amber is ready with something to say and we’ll eventually
  all have said something.

  This is a far better way to begin dinner. It’s better than nagging. In fact nagging will
  fall away naturally, because as you praise each little change your child makes, they
  will repeat it – they even seem to look for things they want praise for and sometimes
  they’ll couch and say “And what about…?” And then you jump in and say “Of
  course…” and appreciate that.

  When we are done appreciating each other we will return to the breakfast ritual and
  ask about how their character trait helped them today.




                              Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes
14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com
                                     A Final Word
  These routines might take a while to bed themselves in, that will come down to your
  child’s responsiveness and your leadership.

  Where parents can work together and support these rituals – but not enforce them –
  the family will follow suit, especially if the children get more praise and positive
  attention.

  One story I have heard on these rituals was from a family of four. The mum and dad
  worked together, the daughter joined in, but for a month the son rejected the routine
  and didn’t want to participate. But after noticing the attention his sister was getting
  and that he wasn’t getting much, he threw himself into it.

  The earlier you can get these rituals into your children’s life the better.

  If you are starting with teenagers, the bedtime ritual might not seems so appropriate
  – though why not, if creates connection and feels good for both parent and child?

  I also don’t suggest bringing all changes in at once, try one, let that settle, add a
  second, let that settle, add the third.

  And remember, what you instil in your children in confidence, love, character and
  gratitude from these rituals, they will instil in their children and as a result you will
  have a stronger, more confident, loving and closer family who will love and
  appreciate life.

  We’d love to you come on over to meet us and the rest of the Hot Chocolate Club
  Community at http://www.facebook.com/hotchocolateclubcommunity/,
  and share your stories, tips and ask your questions. Together we can help you get more
  from your time with your kids.

  Make sure you ‘Like’ the page too – we can then let you know when we release
  other videos, ebooks and guides like this one.

  Neil & Amber
  x
  www.HotChocolateClub.com




                              Copyright CommunitySoul Ltd Neil Fellowes
14 Cross Farm Road, Draycott, Somerset, BS27 3SE Tel: 020 8144 0225 email jo@HotChocolateClub.com