1 I love the LORD , for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. 2 Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. 3 The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. 4 Then I called on the name of the LORD : "O LORD , save me!" 5 The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. 6 The LORD protects the simple-hearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. 7 Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. 8 For you, O LORD , have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, 9 that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living. 10 I believed; therefore I said, "I am greatly afflicted." 11 And in my dismay I said, "All men are liars." 12 How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me? 13 I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD . 14 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people. 15 Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. 16 O LORD , truly I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant; you have freed me from my chains. 17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the LORD . 18 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people, 19 in the courts of the house of the LORD in your midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the LORD .
THE FREEDOM OF MY SOUL
Oh my Precious Lord and Savior. What you have done for me, how could I ever thank you enough.
February 23rd & 24th,2005
Just like your servant David, we were at the bottom of our lives. We thought life couldn’t possibly get any worse. We were at the edge of the pit of death, we were dangling over the side, looking into the darkness. We knew we hated where we were. We knew with all of our hearts that we did not want to fall in. But how could we stop ourselves? We had come this far on the road of destruction, how could we keep from plunging downward. We were locked in chains to a life of complete despair. We were strapped in bondage to lives of sin and utter ruin. We knew we were trapped, we had dug our own graves. We knew this was the end…. We wanted to be free, but how could we break loose? We were locked in imaginary cages that kept us hidden away for so very long. The brink of death was knocking at our door, dragging us slowly towards it. We knew we were being pulled, but how could we stop it. The chains grip was holding so very tight, we ripped and pulled, but to no avail. They had us. We realized that in our own strength, we could NEVER BE SET FREE. Oh the pain was so overwhelming. Oh NO, how did we get ourselves into this mess! Will there ever be an end to the horror? Will there ever be an end to the empty void in our hearts? Will there ever be an end to this searching and longing? Will there ever be an end to our pain that runs to the depths of our beings? But wait, I feel something rumbling in my belly. What is that feeling that is creeping up inside of me. I cannot put my finger on it. But it’s something. It’s something telling me to not let go. It’s telling me to not fall off the edge. It’s telling me to just hold on a little longer….. Only a little bit longer now and you will see…….. What is this?? Wait…… I think I know what it is…. I think it’s been there all along. I think it’s been IN ME this whole time. But…… I didn’t even know it was there. All the voices kept telling me there wasn’t any left. I never had any to begin with. But is it true…. Is this all for real?!?! HOPE!!! I really have HOPE. Why didn’t I realize this sooner, why didn’t I recognize this wonderful truth before…….. I’m looking down at the edge, I’m looking intently into the darkness, I know now that I have options. These chains continue to pull at me, but now the resistance against them is stronger. I have come upon the truth that there truly is hope for me. I don’t have to plunge into the bottomless pit. I don’t have to be sucked into that abyss that terrifies me. I don’t have to let these chains bring me to my doom.
But where do I go from here, what do I do with this little glimpse of hope. I grab at the chains once again, but in my strength, I’M STILL A CAPTIVE. I am so confused. Here is this hope, here is this truth set before me, but I don’t know what to do next…..
Then I hear this voice….I cant quite make out if it is a real sound I am hearing…. But I feel its gentle words penetrating my soul….. I feel the hope beginning to grow….. as this voice tells me…. “This hope is only just the start. This hope is all you need to get somewhere you want to be. This hope is the beginning of your faith. Hope means you have faith. Faith to believe that you can be free from this captivity. Faith to believe that the end does not have to be doom. Faith to believe that someone can help you out of this. Faith to believe that this is not what you have been created for. Faith to believe that you deserve a lot more than this. Faith to believe that the ONE who created you…….is waiting for YOU! I don’t care how small you think this seed of faith is. All I ask of you is just for a drop of it. Just enough so that I can use it. To plant it, to water it, to nourish it. So it can grow to sizes you couldn’t think possible. This faith is the key to unlocking these chains. This faith is the place that can allow me to unlock the doors of this cage. This faith is the bridge across that uncertain path…. from your world of darkness of where you have been kept a prisoner….. To the world of complete freedom where only PURE and inviting LIGHT awaits you… So my dear, the question now only remains…… Do you want to be FREE? Do you want to, once and for all, to let the chains of captivity be unshackled? Do you want the fear of the night, and the tears of the day to be a thought of the past?? Do you want liberty that just screams from every fiber of your being? Do you want to allow your Maker, the One Who died just so you can have this freedom……To loose the grips of the one who only wants to see you consumed in flames???? The answer is up to you….Only you can decide if you want to surrender your heart, your will, your everything. Only you can decide if you have gone long enough in this imprisonment…. long enough in the torture chamber… Or have you grown accustom to the darkness, have you gotten so comfortable in this mess that you are afraid of the freedom??? Is looking down into the pit of death enough for you to realize that you are at the end? My sweet child…Freedom awaits you! Please let me use this key I have been holding for so long, TO UNLOCK YOU!!! Let the ropes be severed for good.” “MY JESUS!” “I have been locked in this place for so very long. I hate it, I’m miserable. I’m tired of looking death in the face, contemplating if I should just dive in already, I know its coming sooner or later. I’m so tired of the pain that eats at my soul night and day. I’m tired of the constant groaning within me, crying out for something more, something REAL, some kind of peace in this chaotic madness. Oh God. I have heard the words you spoke to me. I have felt the hope rolling in me, waiting to blossom, waiting to break out.
Oh God. I see that this faith is so very small, but if you say that its enough, if you say that’s all you need….. Than here it is… So small yet it is…..you say you’ll honor that..so I must believe…. I DO BELIEVE!!
Come and rescue me GOD. Hear my cry for mercy…. All I have ever done, I’m so ashamed to even think of the horrors. I know I have gotten myself into this pit of turmoil. I know I have allowed these chains to lock into place. I know I have allowed the darkness to creep and surround me…. Take this seed of faith and honor it. Take this seed of faith and plant it deep within me. Take this seed of faith and nourish it, so it can grow, as you promised me! Release me from this bondage that is closing in on me…. My heart will be yours for all of eternity, oh God. I give you my everything, I give you the control I have tried ever so desperately to have over my life. I’m fed up; I just can’t do it anymore. Set me free OH MIGHTY GOD!!! Cut me loose into the freedom you have so freely offered me! Fill this broken, empty vessel with ALL THAT YOU ARE! Change my world, oh Jesus….. Change ME!” CLICK……. SNAP…….. CRACK……. “WHAT…..the chains!!!” “They are being cut…. severed off my wrists……torn free from my ankles…. The darkness is melting from my vision…..this glorious light….why….its penetrating me!! The voices…. where are they….THEY ARE ALL GONE!!! This feeling…what is this?” “PEACE” “This rushing wave is coming over me…. This peace you call it, why its surpassing any understanding that I have ever known of. This flowing liquid is bellowing up within me… What is it?” “MY LOVE” “Oh my goodness….hahaha I cant help but laugh, this feels so AMAZING!! Now, that void in my heart, it’s suddenly vanished… There is something NEW in there….I just feel so ALIVE…..” “That my child, is my Spirit. That is your promise, your seal…. My Spirit will empower you to overcome all battles, to overcome your flesh, to overcome the lies of the enemy. Trust in me and know that I will guide you always. Trust in me and know that I am always with you, always watching you, always waiting for you to spend time with me.
This is the beginning of your NEW LIFE…. The life that I have planned for you since the beginning of TIME. I have called you for my purpose, I have called you as my own. You are my beloved child, and I will never disappoint you. I will never let you down. Always know that I am here for you whenever you need me, and even when you think you don’t.
So follow my commands, follow the path I set before you. Trust that the light of My Word will always lead you. Trust that the promises of My Word will always keep you. Trust that the truth of My Word will always protect you.
So do not fear the darkness any longer, for you have been released from the hold it once had over you. Do not fear the unknown path that lies before you, for trust that my hand will be held fast to yours as you walk down it. Do not fear the temptations that await you, for through the power of my Spirit, you can ALWAYS find the entrance to your victory. Do not fear the one who lurks to claw you back into his grip,,, YOU HAVE BEEN SET FREE FROM THE LIES THAT HE ONCE HAD YOU WEBBED IN, FOR YOU HAVE BEEN RELEASED FROM THE BONDAGES YOU ONCE HAD TO SIN! You are no longer a lost sheep wandering throughout the wrong pasture, sniffing and searching to find your way home. Your Shepherd has been looking over hills and many fields to find you, but he knew all along that one day…When you were good and ready, you would let yourself be found. And your loving Shepherd has embraced you in his outstretched arms. He has picked you up and wiped off the dirt that had accumulated since your long homebound journey. He has showered you with his love, and His Freedom….so you will never be the same again…….”
“Oh my Jesus, the Lover of my Soul, the Lord of my Life You are more awesome than I could have ever imagined! Your sweet and gentle voice soothes me like the pouring out of a waterfall. Your soft touch cradles me like the lullabies sung from a mothers caring heart. Your unfailing love reaches to the depths of my innermost being, healing hurts that I have been suffering from for so very long, breaking down walls that I have long since built up, exposing all of the hidden which now revel in your light. Your firm hand holds me, so I never fall, never waver, never perish, and certainly never fear. Your intoxicating aroma of your glorious presence, there I am humbly allowed to bow at your feet in praise and awe. Your tender promises which keep me going day after day, which make me strive to do better, make me long for our intimacy, make me crave to know you more… Your hidden mercies that take me by surprise moment by moment. As I run to your throne of grace and there I am welcomed, pardoned and blessed! Your unspoken visions for me… How they allow me to understand that only YOU hold the answers to my future. Only You fit the pieces into the puzzle, and only in YOU do I trust that my life ahead will be just as I have always dreamt it to be, and more than I could have ever hoped for.
Oh Jesus… You have set me free from a life of oppression, from a life of fear, from a life of bitter grief. You have given me joy in the depths of my innermost being, and allowed me to feel the stability of life that only comes from trusting in your guidance. I know that my life will never be the same. I know that this Freedom has been bought with a price. I know that my joy only stems from the sorrow you bore. I know that my heart is being mended because yours has been wounded. I know now that my life has been yours all along.
I know my precious Lord that I could never repay you for what you have done for me. I know that this flesh will at times only disappoint you. I know that the battle within me will wage on until the day you return. And I know that only you can give me the power to overcome all trials, all tests, and all persecutions. So Jesus I promise you….. That though my life is but dirty rags in your eyes…. That I will trust in your promise of being clothed in pure white linens of righteousness. So Jesus I promise you… That for here on out, I will be your faithful servant… That for here on out, I will only listen to the sound of your sweet and gentle voice…. That for here on out, I will obey only your commands…. That for here on out, this sheep will follow his one true shepherd on all the journeys he’s taken through…. For my life is not mine any longer. For my life is not controlled by the one determined to always bring me down…. My life is now precious to SOMEONE… My life is now valued and appreciated by SOMEONE…. My life is now full of purpose and plan…. My life is now guided, directed and steered… My life is now inspiring, my life is now free, my life is now all the things that I wished for it to be for so very long…but its no longer a wish…its my reality! So Lord on this day I surrender my all to you. On this day I choose the path of righteousness, and though the gate is narrow its rewards will be enriching throughout all of eternity. I choose you Jesus. I choose freedom… I choose prosperity… I choose truth… I choose justice…
I choose love… But most of all Lord I choose to be one with You… One with your Word… One with your Plan…. ONE WITH YOUR BRIDE!!!!!!!
Written by: Gillian Casalino