The Limited World of Illness: Why Coping Mechanisms Are Important

							             The Limited World of Illness: Why Coping Mechanisms Are Important

In April 2012, I had surgery for a brain tumor. At first my efforts were focused on managing life,
not necessarily living it.

I thought maybe the reason I got sick was to give me a wake-up call to slow down and smell the
roses. How, then, can life turn out to be even more complicated, scary, stressful, and time-
consuming? Perhaps my lesson with illness isn’t quite that simple. With most of my questions
unanswered and new challenges to face, I had to find ways to cope. There are three main
coping mechanisms that I used. Coping mechanisms are needed when there has been trauma,
whether it is from illness or another cause. They keep us from getting overwhelmed and can be
a healthy part of the healing process especially if you aware of them, allow them to evolve, and
use them to help you adapt to life challenges in positive, healthy ways. Coping behaviors often
start with those that help us “shut down” in order to rest, recuperate, prioritize, and re-focus
and then progress toward new, positive behaviors that help us engage in life again.

Coping Mechanism 1: I narrowed my world to only include illness management. I stopped
listening to the news, forgot what was happening in the world, minimized my work, and
stopped marketing and creating workshops. I limited communication to email as a way of
informing my friends and loved ones of my progress and had my husband handle this for the
first 6 months. I realized just recently that in order to cope with the overwhelming nature of my
visual processing difficulties, my subconscious mind further narrowed my field of vision to what
was right in front of me. Too much stimulation overwhelmed my senses so a quiet
environment became a must. I even isolated myself from others with the same illness (until
recently). I didn’t want to hear about survival statistics or others stories in order to protect
myself emotionally. I wanted to focus my thinking on being well and not fill my head with
worries, concerns, and negative projections.

Please note that coping mechanism 1 is a temporary state. As you start to use other techniques
and as you accept and get used to life changes you will not need the isolation and confined
environment.

Coping Mechanism 2: Therapy, support, and more support. This includes working with a
wonderful therapist who helps keep me sane and cope with the significant losses and
permanent changes in my life. Daily breathing exercises give me the quiet internal peace I need
and increase my energy. Hypnotherapy keeps my mind focused on taking control of what I can
control . . . myself: my choices, my decisions, my communication, my actions and what I
believe. This includes introspection on what changes I want to make in my life and deciding
what is important. The support of loving family and friends is also important when coping with
loss and change. They are like an anchor that helps keep us secure, loved, and sane in the midst
of chaos and struggle.

Coping Mechanism 3: Keeping life normal and creating things to look forward to. I decided
to do what I was capable of during each step of my healing process, which meant not fighting
the things I couldn’t do. As I mastered what I could do or accomplish I noticed my abilities
increasing. There are some things I am still not capable of doing (like driving and reading) so I
have learned to compensate for these limitations by focusing on my strengths and cultivating
new skills and ways of doing things. For example, I learned to memorize numbers so I could dial
the phone and investigated electronic devices to help me with other tasks. I started to look at
the calendar and find free time available to me within the constraints of my doctor visits and
treatments. On these precious free days I plan fun outings, time with friends, and, even more
bravely, vacations!

Coping mechanisms start as ways to contain and handle overwhelming feelings and situations
and then evolve in creative ways to find support, adapt, and even thrive. This process is normal
and there are times when some of the earlier techniques must be employed to keep balance
and promote healing. With chronic or catastrophic illness, life has changed forever, but life can
still have meaning, goals, pleasure, fun, and freedom.

© 2012, Hypnosis Concepts. Publication rights granted so long as article and byline are
reprinted intact, with all links made live.

Laurie Miller is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with more than 30 years of
experience helping people achieve health and happiness. Laurie can use her training
and her experience with illness to help you. You can see Laurie in person if you live
in Orange County, CA by visiting http://www.HypnosisConcepts.com or you can
purchase her prerecorded hypnosis session Beyond Limitations at
http://www.hypnosisconcepts.com/cds-and-mp3s/