Valentine’s Day By Stephanie Maher Palenque At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. Plato If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were lov’d by wife, then thee; If ever wife was happy in a man, Compare with me ye women you can I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold. Or all the riches that the East doth hold. My love is such that rivers cannot quench, Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense. Thy love is such I can no way repay, The heavens reward thee manifold repay, Then while we live, in love let’s so persevere That when we live no more, we may live ever. Ann Bradstreet Historically, at least in my life, Valentine’s Day has been nothing but disappointing. But it’s not for lack of effort on the part of my husband. The first Valentine’s Day I spent with my husband was when we were dating in New Jersey. He had coaxed me to leave class early that evening and make the long trip up to see him to celebrate the holiday. When I arrived, I opened up the door to find his apartment pitch black. The long staircase leading up to his apartment’s living room held a burning candle on each step. The instructions on the sign said to follow the candles. I had only one thought on my mind … “psycho killer”! He called down to me, and tried to convince me to ascend the staircase. There was no fooling me, though. I had seen more than my share of thriller movies, and I knew what awaited me at the top of the stairs. When he finally convinced me to come upstairs, needless to say, the mood had passed. We talked about it, and cleared everything up before he walked out of the room to go to the kitchen. After he left, our song came on the radio – a popular song that was played at least once every ten minutes on every radio station in the tri-state area. When he walked back into the room, I told him that he had just missed our song, and he announced that he had requested the song be played for me as a Valentine’s Day dedication. Again, I knew better, and I called him on it. Our first Valentine’s Day had been ruined. The following year, my sister and I, who were dating (and later married) cousins, knew that the boys were planning something special for us. We discussed it, debated the possibilities, and then arrived at the conclusion that they were taking us to the Poconos … the cheesy, yet undeniably romantic rendezvous spot in the Pennsylvania Mountains. After hours of driving in circles in the pouring rain, we finally arrived at The Renaissance Festival, for an evening of dining on greasy chicken without utensils and sneezing from horse hair. That Valentine’s Day was ruined too. What is the moral of these stories? Valentine’s Day comes along with a predetermined set of expectations. Very rarely are these expectations lived up to. It begins in grade school when we sit at our desk and chair, hoping … praying that our name will be called as a recipient of a “Candy
Gram” on Valentine’s Day. Then, we receive one Candy Gram … from our sister. When our neighbor, Victoria Valentine, receives six or seven from known and unknown admirers. So, what is the best way to face Valentine’s Day? With no expectations at all … the anticipation may not be there, but you’ll never be disappointed. I don’t feel it’s necessary for Jaime to prove his love to me on any particular day during the year, when he shows me he loves me all year-round. Of course a big box of Godiva chocolates couldn’t hurt! History of Valentine’s Day Like Christmas, many people think Valentine’s Day was a holiday created by the greeting card companies and candy market. There’s no doubt about it, the card and gift industries definitely do benefit from a holiday like Valentine’s Day. But, there is a rich tradition behind this holiday of flowers and candy. We all know that February is a month of romance, but, St. Valentine is a mystery to those who exchange hearts and flowers and candy in his name every year. St. Valentine’s Day contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named “Valentine”, all of whom were martyred. So who was this “St. Valentine” and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? One of the few legends commonly told contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men – his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. While some believe that Valentine’s Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine’s death or burial, others believe that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine’s feast day in the middle of February in an effort to “Christianize” celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia Festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called “spelt” throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. Itineraries to Impress Educational Retreat for Couples Don’t you just love it when fun and education come together? Not for the faint of heart, “Partners, Pleasure, and Passion: A Couple’s Retreat with Dr. Lana Holstein and Dr. David Taylor will be offered on Sunday, February 12, 2006 through Thursday, February 16, 2006. This popular retreat is a chance to get away (the workshop is in Tucson) and “reconnect” with your “most significant other”. It is a four day program that teaches both of you the “pathways to divine sex.” During this class, partners will learn essential anatomy and physiology facts, and will learn to recognize how to utilize sexual energy in day to day interactions, and to claim sexual enchantment and satisfaction for the rest of your lives together. Not only will you enjoy physical pleasure and passion in the privacy of your own casita, but you will bring home an “action plan” for your relationship. The package includes all workshop events, luxury accommodations, three gourmet meals daily and all non-alcoholic beverages, unlimited access to all scheduled programs and activities, three $110 spa
services per person and one couples activity, and round trip transportation from Tucson International Airport. The package is $665. Per person, per night, plus taxes and service charge. Other dates are scheduled about once per month through the year. Homework has never been so much fun! Massage 101 at the Phoenician This year, the Phoenician’s is offering a Valentine’s Romance Package that includes a tactile way for couples to show their love – learning the art of massage. “Massage 101” teaches lovers new ways to nurture each other through the power of touch – a gift they can take home and practice long after Valentine’s Day has passed. The getaway includes: One night in luxurious guest room accommodations, full breakfast (choice of in-room dining to enjoy sunrise on the private patio or The Terrace Dining Room), intimate dinner for two at Mary Elaine’s (alcohol not included), choice of two 50-minute spa treatments from the Center for Well-Being, “Massage 101” includes chocolate truffles, a rose, and a beautiful scented candle that complements their specially blended Sensual Blended Massage Oil, fresh Belgian chocolates each night at turndown. Massage 101 is a 110-minute service that consists of each partner having a turn on the massage table. An expert massage therapist will teach the art of Swedish massage, showing techniques of long, fluid strokes with a light to medium touch in an effort to induce a state of total relaxation. The couple will receive helpful information on simple muscle anatomy, easy massage strokes, and information on essential massage oils. The price of the Romance Package is $1349 per night, double occupancy (tax and gratuity not included.) The package is available for two weekends only: February 10-12 and February 17-20, 2006. Focus on Feelings Let’s face it, like New Years Eve, Mother’s Day, and a host of other holidays, you are not getting the most “bang” for your buck when you go to a restaurant. There is usually a limited menu, below average service, and higher-than-usual prices to boot. And really, is taking you new amore or the long-time-love of your life to a restaurant the most creative idea you can come up with to honor them? Instead, think of something special you can do together. There is something romantic … almost primal about making and eating food together. But, is your culinary knowledge doesn’t go far beyond boiling pasta or heating up a frozen dinner, you may want to check out some of the firstrate cooking classes we have here in the Valley. Sur La Table offers cooking classes, almost every day. They offer a “Date Night” class that fills up very quickly, but they also offer opportunities to combine food and romance with February classes such as “Chocolate Confections” on February 1 st and even a class that will show your guy how to win you over with dinner, on Tuesday, February 7th. Another great place to take a cooking class is Sweet Basil in Scottsdale, on the corner of Scottsdale Road and Shea Boulevard. On February 14th, they have a “Fish Favorites” class planned, and they also offer classes throughout the month of February, such as “Valentines Tea” on Saturday, February 4th, and “Decadent Desserts” on Thursday, February 16th. It is not widely known that we have a drive-in movie here in the Valley – Scottsdale 6 Drive-In – at McKellips and Hayden Roads. It’s a throwback to the 1950s, and not the hottest place in town, but it’s romantic, and a great excuse to snuggle up with your sweetie!
Some of the greatest things to do on Valentine’s Day don’t cost anything, and you never have to leave your home. Make a special dinner for the two of you … all of you partner’s favorites. Or, be daring and try a few new recipes. There are a couple of aphrodisiac cookbooks that will give you some great ideas. Check out “InterCourses: an aphrodisiac cookbook by Martha Hopkins (ISBN 0965327507; www.intercourses.com) and , if you can get your hands on it, The Passionate Palate by former Valley resident, Ailene Eberhard (ISBN 034542543X.) Old stand-bys like writing and reading ach other love letters, and making personalized CDs of all of your special songs will complete a night of romance!
Romance Trivia * St. Valentine’s Day happens to be Arizona’s birthday (Arizona became a state on February 14, 1912). *Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. * The oldest known valentine was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. It is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London. * 2.2 million marriages take place in the United States annually. That breaks down to about 6,000 a day. * 138,000 marriages were performed in Nevada during 2003. So many couples “tie the knot” in the Silver State that it ranked fourth nationally in marriages, even though its total population that year was 35th. * 25.3 and 27.1 are the estimated U.S. median ages at first marriage for women and men, respectively, in 2003. The age for women is up 4.3 years in the last three decades. The age for men is up 3.9 years. * The proportion of women 20 to 24 years old who had never married more than doubled between 1970 and 2003 – from 36 percent to 75 percent. Changes were also dramatic for men – the corresponding rate for men in this age group increased from 55 percent to 86 percent. *54 percent and 57 percent are the percentages of American women and men, respectively, who are 15 and over and currently married. * There were 4.6 million cohabitating couples who maintained households in 2003. These couples comprised 4.2 percent of all households, up from 2.9 percent in 1996. * There are 118 single men (i.e., never married, widowed, or divorced) who are in their 20s for every 100 single women of the same ages. * There are 33 single men (i.e., never married, widowed, or divorced) age 65 and over for every 100 single women of the same ages.
* 24.6 pounds of candy per capita were consumed by Americans in 2003. It is believed a large portion is consumed around Valentine’s Day. Candy consumption has actually declined over the last few years; in 1997, each American gobbled more than 27 pounds of candy a year. * The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut roses in 2003 was $52 million for all operations in 36 states, with $100,000 or more in sales. Among all types of cut flowers, roses were second in receipts to lilies ($70 million.) * There were 28,914 jewelry stores in the United States in 2002. In February 2004, these stores sold $2.4 billion worth of merchandise – a much higher total than in the preceding month or succeeding months. Info> “Partners, Pleasure, and Passion: A Couple’s Retreat with Dr. Lana Holstein and Dr. David Taylor The Phoenician: (480-941-8200 or 800-955-7352) www.thephoenician.com Sur La Table: 7122 East Greenway Pky., Scottsdale (480-998-0118) www.surlatable.com Sweet Basil Cooking School: 10749 N. Scottsdale Rd. #101, Scottsdale (480-596-5628) www.sweetbasilgourmet.com