Lecture 10 change
Two kinds of change:
The first approach- the gradual approach, like water wearing down stone.
The second approach-the acute change like the sledge hammer breaking stone
creating a new pathway.
Before we go to the change process, there are some things we need to understand.
We can’t get rid of some certain characteristics often because we don’t want the
baby out with the bath water. That means the certain characteristics are related to
some positive qualities in our mind. For example, rigidity and consistency are
associated in my mind.
Ask yourself what you really want to change, and what the counterpart to it is,
what tie to it in your mind. It was only once we understand that for us these things go
hand in hand, we are able to unpack them, to distinguish them. One of the most
significant barriers to people’s happiness is that they associate happiness with
If we wanna overcome this fear of failure or the worry/anxiety, or the slack of
happiness, the key is very often about understanding or better understanding of these
characteristics. The baby can stay; the bath water can go if we have a more nuance
understanding of what it is we want to change.
Understand change approach based on the ABCs of psychology:
The ABCs of psychology: the A is the affect, the emotion. The B is the behavior, the
action, And the C is the cognition, the thought.
Happiness comprises three factors: the genetic set range; external circumstances
and intentional activities. The genetic set range matters about 50%, the external
circumstances about 10% and the intentional activities matter about 40%. The genetic
set range can not change to some extent. Nature to be commanded must be obeyed.
We need to look on our nature, understand it and then make best of it. What we can
change most is the intentional activities.
The ABCs understanding:
Intentional activities mean what we do, how we act, what we think about how we
interpret the world, what we focus on. We need emotion in order to move. So there
comes the A.
The A: it’s a connection between emotions, motivation motion.
The gradual change is mindfully meditation. They change the way our mind works,
transform our brain just by focusing on the breath, by focusing on parts of our body,
by being present. All of us have the capacity to be mindful. All it involves is
cultivating our ability to pay attention in the present moment. Even if this is gradual
change, within as little as 8 weeks of regular meditation, our brain actually starts to
change its form to transform. Our immune system strengthens.
Acute change: as we know Post-traumatic stress disorder, can we find a positive
shock treatment? A few studies have shown that peak experience has such a function.
To enhance the peak experience, first is increasing peak experience and second is
increasing the likelihood of post peak experience order.
Increasing peak experience:
a. Permission to be human; Acceptance; Accepting emotions.
When we give ourselves permission to experience painful emotions, we’re more
likely to experience the positive emotions.
b. Mindfulness; Being present.
Enhance the likelihood of Post peak experience order：
a. Replaying an image. Just describe it without analyzing.
b. Taking action.
Attitude affects behavior and behavior also affects attitude.
When there is incongruence between two thoughts, when two beliefs are conflicting,
we don’t like it. We want there to be a march. Or when there is a conflict between
behavior and a belief. The distance has to be resolved. And the way we resolve it is
usually by getting our attitudes to match our behavior.
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, bur sometimes your smile can be the
source of joy. That’s the facial feedback hypothesis. Fake it till you make it.
Very often behavioral change is gradual. The acute change is about coping. It’s about
putting ourselves on the line.
Words and phrases:
Stay tuned 敬请关注 quick-fix 灵丹妙药 question myself 怀疑自己
Rigidity 古板 gullible 容易轻信别人的 grimness 冷酷
Dive and ambition 动力和雄心 a solid approach 一种稳定
The smiley face 笑脸 interpret 诠释 mindful meditation 专
Insight 洞察力 Post-traumatic stress disorder 创伤后应激障碍 PTSD
A shock treatment 一种休克疗法 repercussion 震荡效应
Zen 禅 be positive toward 对……有好感