Violence Against Men in Intimate Relationships

XXX Peterborough ON K9H 1A2 Vic Toews Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada 284 Wellington Street Ottawa, Ontario Canada K1A Dear Mr. Toews; I am a Trent University student in a social psychology class in which our professor assigned the students to write a research letter concerning an important social issue to a governing official who will help make a difference. The social issue in which I am concerned is a taboo in our society and is often disregarded, ridiculed, or minimized. This letter is primarily concerning violence against men in intimate relationships but will also address the high rate of violence among men towards men. I believe this to be a profound social issue that affects men, women, and children, because I feel our society has marginalized men as perpetrators that only want to dominate against women and their children. It affects relationships of men and women and each individual’s personal view of manhood. Men have been branded with a violent, aggressive disposition and this image is being perpetually rehearsed by the media. The media is increasingly socializing men, women, and children to understand the male as a fighter who is stoic. This image is simply not true: men shed tears, men feel pain, and men are abused. Men are human like women and children; dualism has made its imprint on gender in our society in that men are on one extreme end with their aggressive individualist traits and women are at the other end with qualities such cooperative and nurturer. This dual idea within gender is a huge problem because when men are victims they are not heard, nor are they accepted as victims. Men are victims of violence and there is data that points to higher than thought levels of domestic violence perpetrated towards men. This paper is not intended to minimize resources needed to support women of domestic violence nor is the paper intending to minimize the violence that women or children endure. This letter is a voice for men concerning the lack of support and 1 of 14 knowledge of violence against men. This letter will overview the two conflicting paradigms that conduct research on violence against men; as well I will discuss historical evidence for violence against men. I will explore research that supports evidence for physical and psychological violence against men as well as the impact abuse has on the lives of men. Perceptions within society about male victims will be discussed based on research; also a study comparing violence in Canada and the U.S. will also be addressed. Resources in Canada and the male experience of victimization will also be covered in this letter. Finally, I will overview possible solutions to the dearth of awareness about violence against men. In America in the 1970’s and in Canada in the 1980’s domestic violence began to receive attention as a major social problem, the attention was directed towards men as perpetrators and females and children as victims (Dutton & Nicholls, 2005). Since the rise of appreciation for domestic violence, research as well as social thought has been dominantly focused on violence against women. The feminist paradigm understands violence to be a product of patriarchy in which men dominate over women and thus violence is wholly a masculine problem. The family conflict paradigm views violence not as a gender issue but rather as corollary due to stress, personal history, money, jealousy, poverty and the many other social problems people face. The concept of gender not being at the root of violence has created a new outlook that has been greeted with skepticism (Dutton et al., 2005; George, 2003). Since the rise of the family conflict theory research has developed contradicting results of violence in relationships compared to feminist researchers being that men are victims of violence. The result of detecting the other side of the coin in violence has created biased assimilation within the social world (Dutton et al., 2005). Biased assimilation is a problem because social thought will not accept what research is finding and is holding on to data that states women are the sole victims of violence. As a result violence against men is viewed insignificant and contributes to the silence of abused men. The silence of male victims is a problem that has been around longer than we are lead to believe. 2 of 14 An article by George (2003) indicates that the concept of the battered husband is historically documented from the 1500’s in traditional European folklore. Riding skimmington was the result of a man who could not control his wife, meaning the couple had not conformed to social norms and the husband was being battered by his wife. Riding skimmington received its name because the man was seated backwards on a donkey while holding the donkey’s tail. The wife would hit her husband with a skimming ladle while the village spectators composed loud music with pots and pans while the husband rode the donkey down the street. Riding skimmington was about shaming the husband because he was abused by a woman. Similarly today men still experience shame or embarrassment when they seek help because they are abused (George, 2003; Migliaccio, 2002), as a result of the ridicule men may be under reporting abuse. Current research indicates that violence is a common form of communication between both partners in an intimate relationship whether heterosexual or homosexual (Archer, 2000, 2002; Lockhart, White, Causby & Isaac, 1994). Evidence of abuse among same sex couples indicates that gender may in fact not be the cause of violence; rather there are underlying causes in which the family conflict theory has suggested such as poverty and stress. A survey study was conducted in the UK by the Market Opinion Research International Ldt (MORI) organization (George, 1999) which consisted of an anonymous selfcompletion questionnaire derived from the Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS) which asked participants about assaults they had endured in the past five years by females. Questions of assaults ranged from mild (slapped) to severe (Choked or assaulted with a weapon). Results from the survey indicated that 13% of participants had been victims of female assaults in the past five years. Twice as many men had received assaults from females than females had received from females. Males reported being kicked, slapped, bitten, scratched, gouged, and having a heavy or dangerous object thrown at them. Females reported acts of violence such as being pushed, shoved, or tripped. Males were more likely to be abused by females who they had had sexual relations, cohabitated, or by a close friend; females reported receiving violence from acquaintances such as neighbours or co-workers. Men were more likely to be assaulted between the ages 3 of 14 of 15-34 by a female who was on average between the ages of 15-24. This research demonstrates that men are victims of female abuse; particularly younger women appear to be more of a threat to men. A critical review article by Dutton et al. (2005) cited a Canadian study by Sommers, Barnes, & Murphy (1992) in which they conducted a random survey in a Canadian city, participants were between the ages of 18-65. Results from Sommers et al. (1992) revealed that 39% of females had acted aggressively towards a spouse and 16.2% indicated they had performed severe acts of violence. Another Canadian study conducted in the city of Vancouver (Kwong & Bartholomew, 1998) cited in Dutton et al. (2005), discovered equal rates of violence between males and females based on reports from females; in comparison, reports from males found that females had higher rates of violence perpetrated against men. Results also indicated that women reported two times the amount of severe injuries than men who had been victimized. Interestingly, an older study conducted in Alberta, as cited in the National Clearinghouse on Family Violence (2004), performed a telephone survey to 356 men and 351 women who were either married or cohabitating. 12.3% of men reported they had been assaulted by their female partners; convincingly, 12.5% of females reported having assaulted their male partners in the last 12 months. These Canadian studies are providing evidence that men are being abused by their female partners, a phenomenon which is rarely spoken about in Canadian society. A meta-analytic review by Archer (2000, 2002) complied research articles dating from 1987 to 1998. The subject of concern was physical aggression in martial and dating relations and aggression expressed by both men and women. Results from the review indicate that most research has examined abuse among high school or college populations. Young females were highly likely between the ages of 19-22 to conduct aggressively toward males more so than older female populations. The effect size for acts of aggression, based on the complied studies, indicate that throwing an object, slapping, kicking, biting and hitting were all behaviours performed more so by females. Beating up, choking or strangling were behaviours more likely exhibited by males, yet an ample minority of women did perform severe 4 of 14 behaviours as well. Comparisons of self reported acts compared to partner reported acts show that men under report their aggression toward their partners concerning severe acts of aggression. Equivalently, females under report their use of more severe acts of aggression such as threatening with a knife, to beat up, to choke, and to use a knife towards their male partners. Reasons for the under reporting of severe acts based on male behaviour may be due to the social disrespect toward men who abuse their wives. Low self reports of severe behaviour on the female behalf may also be due to the common stereotype of the gentle nurturing woman. In the critical review article by Dutton et al. (2003) that cited a research paper by Brown (2004), found males to under report aggressive acts directed toward them by their female partners compared to the high level of female reports of aggressive acts committed against them by their male partners. Males were also found to be arrested more often by police, even when they had visible injuries from their female partner. Samples in the review by Archer (2000, 2002), that are based on female refugees report higher levels of severe male aggression compared to samples from the general population. Samples from the general population indicate mutual violence between males and females and also reveal young females to be slightly more violent than males. This has been one of the arguments in regards to women not being the sole victims of violence is that a large proportion of the research that supports the high statistics of battered women are based on women who are living in shelters (Dutton, 2005; George, 1999). We are generalizing extreme cases of male violence to the general public. Psychological or verbal abuse as one woman told researchers was more damaging than the physical abuse (Migliaccio, 2002); abused men who have been interviewed also said the verbal abuse was the worse part because it literally takes away an individuals sense of self acceptance and worth. In the article by the National Clearinghouse on Family Violence (2004) discussed a study from 1999 that utilized the General Social Survey (GSS) to collect data on emotional and verbal abuse ranging in behaviours from controlling a partner’s actions and social life to limiting knowledge to financial information. An amazing 5 of 14 similarity was reported that 18% of males compared to 19% of females had experienced psychological abuse in the past five years from their partner. A hot debate within the issue of violence is that men are stronger than women when it comes to physical aggression. In a literature review article discussing violence perpetrated by men and women, Saunders (2002) states that the strength of a male increases the physical violence and psychological abuse a woman endures compared to any violence a female can act upon a male. The meta-analytic study by Archer (2000, 2002) provided evidence that men do injure their victims more so than females, yet males with severe injuries or needing to visit the hospital were not uncommon. Women are also more likely to use an object in an aggressive situation which could compensate in their lack of upper body strength. A narrative analysis by Migliaccio (2002) interviewed 12 males who were victims of domestic violence by their female partners. It appears that when an individual is abused regardless of their gender the psychological abuse that often coincides with physical abuse ( National Clearinghouse on Family Violence, 2004) can prevent the victim from reacting. One man defined his experience as: “the violence was so ritualized” (p. 34) (Migliaccio, 2002). Other men indicated that if they acted to stop the violence or restrain their partners they knew that future violence would be worse and it was better to take the beating at the present time. Other points made by abused men were they had been taught to never strike a woman or that “real men don’t ever hit women” (p.35) (Migliaccio, 2002). Six of the twelve men did retaliate against their partners by slapping or punching them; the result of their aggressive counteraction only resulted in more violence and threats by their partners to call the police and have the men charged with domestic assault. The main point here is that yes men are stronger than women and presently more women seek help for injuries because society says it is okay for women to seek help. The psychological abuse from women cannot be interpreted as insignificant compared to males. Once the psychological abuse has had an impact on a man’s self-concept the physical abuse will range in style as well the severity of abuse will increase. 6 of 14 Another issue which was mentioned earlier is the lower reports from men concerning their victimization. Cited in George (2003), a survey conducted by Borowski, Murch, & Walker (1983) and another survey by McNeely & Robinson-Simpson (1987) interviewed practitioners in England and the US, respectively. Practitioners identified working with male victims of female abuse just as often as they had worked with females of male abuse. The American doctor reported working more often with males of domestic assaults because of the use of weapons by females. The doctors never bothered to mention or worry about the high rate of domestic violence against men that they witnessed in the emergency room because no one is keep tabs or stats on the violence against men. These above surveys indicate that males may not be under reporting abuse or seeking medical help less often instead our society’s willingness to see men as victims is the cause of low reports. It is thought that males who are abused by females have failed in achieving the masculine status (National Clearinghouse on Family Violence, 2004). Abused men who do tell their stories indicate that when they attempted to seek help their stories were met with ridicule. One male recounts his story of having called the police (Migliaccio, 2002); the police man was shocked to hear that the man was the victim and said: “you got to be kidding me, buddy. Women don’t beat men” (p. 44). Other accounts by interviewed men were of police refusing to offer help to the men and one of the twelve men interviewed was arrested and feared for the safety of his children (Migliaccio, 2002). Our society’s view of men as stoic and perpetrator is harming the lives of men who are abused. These men have to suffer violence from their partners and are neglected by members in their community because we don’t understand how a male can possibly be a victim because it is in conflict with what it means to be masculine in western culture. As Migliaccio (2002) indicated that men suffer internally from the abuse they endure as well as externally because of society’s expectations of the masculine ideal. The perception of gender on domestic violence is an important part of understanding biases that exist in society. A study by Feather (1996) examined the effects of gender in a domestic violence mock case scenario. A woman or man after years of verbal abuse had taken all the abuse they could handle and 7 of 14 one day threw a knife without thinking in one scenario and in another scenario had decided that it was the only way to escape the abuse; the man or woman was later charged. Results indicate that the husband was seen as more responsible for the situation than the wife. The charge was seen as severe in the case of the wife compared to the case of the husband and the husband was also seen as deserving the charge more so than the wife. When the husband threw the knife the situation was judged to be very serious compared to when the wife had thrown the knife. Reasons for the wife’s aggression being seen as more acceptable may be due to participants perceiving the actions of the wife as self defense where as the husband was acting out of aggression and not out of victimization. This study indicates that the stereotype of females as victims is well engrained into our beliefs because the exact same act of violence performed by the male is absolutely not tolerable but is an understandable action for a female. When a male is hit or struck by a female it is perceived by society that the male can take the aggression, but a gentleman can never aggress towards a female (George, 1999). These perceptions also coincide with the daily news and Hollywood movies in which females are victims and males as perpetrators. Many movies have a female character who slaps a male in the face and it is understood by viewers that he deserved it. This type of movie where the female slaps the male teaches our people it is okay to aggress towards a male. Other movies which enhance the publics’ fear of males as perpetrators such as the fairly recent movie Enough and the older movie Sleeping with the Enemy; I would be surprised if Hollywood ever made a movie about a male who was abused by his wife. An important part in understanding violence is to understand what the victim experience is in order to help them work through their abusive past. Little is known about the male experience of being a victim. The narrative analysis by Migliaccio (2002) was intended to understand the experience of the abused male and whether it was a similar experience to that of an abused female. Migliaccio’s study based on twelve interviewed males found that the male experience was similar to that of other research on battered females. The relationship begins in a state of honeymoon and then after there has been a commitment the 8 of 14 abuse begins. Verbal abuse is usually used first to bring down the partners self-esteem and used to convince the victim that the abuse is their fault. The victim becomes isolated and fears to tell anyone about the abuse. The isolation creates a perfect opportunity for the perpetrator, male or female, to gain control over their partner and for the abuse to increase in severity. Males did rationalize the abuse from their female partners; just as research indicates that female victims do of their male abusers (Migliaccio, 2002). Suicide is another result of abuse in which both males and females contemplate because of the violence. Males in Migliaccio’s (2002) study also indicated that their female partners had threatened to kill themselves if their husbands left them. The narrative analysis by Migliaccio (2002) is an important step for professionals in the field to learn what the male experience is about so we can begin to build resources to use when working with any abused men who reveal their secret. A 1999 review article by National Clearinghouse of Family Violence indicated that the number of abused men or men who do report of abuse is not significant enough in numbers to warrant shelters and the many resources that are available for women of domestic violence. The research discussed above seems to indicate that perhaps there is a need for change and change in mind set towards violence against men. A study conducted in Norway on assault victims of street violence who visit an emergency room department over a two year span compiled interesting information (Steen & Hunskaar, 2004). Upon entry to the emergency department victims were asked a series of questions about their assault. Results from the study indicated that one in seven women was assaulted by another woman and one in 38 men had been assaulted by a female. Men were more likely to have been attacked by other men whom they did not know. Results from this study indicate there is a problem among our men. There is some other underlying force at work other than patriarchy and gender that is causing high rates of violence. The study by George (1999) indicates that most violent acts are committed among lower class individuals; stress and poverty is creating the violence highly among men and women. There is an important point here that needs to be addressed, our society almost accepts males as aggressors, we label men as violent humans and they carry 9 of 14 out this label. Our society has this obsession with being anti violence driven when it comes to women and their children. Awareness should be raised about violence against people. Concerning the study in Norway for every male aggressor toward another male there was a male victim, there is an incredibly high number of male victims as there are of women. A study by Grandin & Lupri (1997) compares data from the U.S. National Family Violence Resurvey (1985) and the Canadian National Family Life Survey (1986) on common couple violence. The U.S. survey was conducted by the telephone and the Canadian survey was by an anonymous questionnaire. Grandin & Lupri hypothesized that violence would be greater between couples in the U.S. because of the U.S.’s higher crime rate. The results from the study indicate that Canadian couples were more violent than their U.S. neighbours. Females were more likely to use violence than their male partners and Canadian females were more violent than U.S. females. For example the act of throwing something was 9.3% for Canadian males compared to 12.5% for Canadian females; the U.S. couples indicate men throw objects 1.8% and females at 4%. Violent acts by men and women in Canada were also not isolated acts, where as in the U.S. repeated acts of violence occur less often by females. Severe acts of violence were more common among Canadian couples and women admitted to committing severe acts more than men did, 15% compared to 9.9% respectively. Possible reasons for the higher rate of common couple violence in Canada were based on the cultural value differences among the countries. The U.S. is known for its more individualistic society compared to Canada’s collective approach. Couples in Canada may take their stress and aggression out on their families more often because of our collective nature rather than taking our aggression out on a stranger (Grandin & Lupri, 1997). Another possible reason was due to the higher crime rates in the U.S. having caused American couples to under report the amount of couple violence because there is immunity to violence in America. Therefore American couples do not consider certain acts of violence as violent compared to Canadian couples. If this argument is accurate in which researchers claim that higher reports of violent acts committed among Canadians is due to violence being 10 of 14 normalized in the U.S. then Canada has to take action to stop violence from becoming normalized within its border. Canadians need to create awareness against all types of violence not just violence against women and children but violence against men. Violence against men is normalized in our Canadian society because we allow male victims to be ridiculed by authorities and men and women are socialized to accept violence against men as part of the male experience. In the 2004 National Clearinghouse of Family Violence the author states that there are very few resources for men of abuse and roughly two shelters exists in Canada for men. CTV News in July 2003 reported one Canadian shelter in Calgary, opened by Earl Silverman, which provides a hot line for men to call. Earl Silverman (personal communication, April 9, 2006) told me, contrary to government publications, that he knows of no shelters for men in Canada and the Alberta alone gave 17.9 million in 2004/05 to women’s shelters and did not provide any funding for men. On an Ontario government website (http://www.cfcs.gov.on.ca/CFCS/en/newsRoom/newsReleases/040809.htm) the reader is informed that 90 million dollars plus 3 million more are given by the McGuinty government to shelters and resources for women of domestic abuse yearly. I am proud that my government cares about women of domestic violence. I am disappointed that Canadian government publications for the Public Health Agency of Canada can complied research about the incidence of violence against men that proves men are victims of violence, but that little resources exists for men; ultimately little is know about men of domestic violence; and that numbers of male victims are not high enough for the government to help men. May I remind you that the reason we have such freedom in our country today is because Canadian men fought for our freedom and yet we know very little about men as victims or care to acknowledge that men are victims. Millions of dollars annually is spent to help women. A proportion of the money being spent on women should be spent on men for programs like Earl Silverman’s. Seeing as the government does not consider violence against men to be a serious issue to warrant funding, there is something the government 11 of 14 can do for its men; create awareness! Create the type of awareness that has been created for violence against women. When posters are published or government officials give public discussions don’t forget to include data on violence against men. During anti-violence week create awareness that men are also victims of violence and stop creating a social awareness of violence that is asymmetrical. If our society is going to try to reduce violence it can’t be based on gender, it has to be based on the people and the people are men, women, and children of all races and ethnicities. We have to reduce the label of aggression attached to men through awareness that violence toward men by men or females is wrong. I want to thank you for taking the time to read my letter, and hope you begin to see the other side of violence that is important and significant. Violence is not necessarily a gender issue, but rather a form of expression of learned behaviour or due to poverty and stress in Canadian society. Please consider this letter and its contents because labeling men as perpetrators and females as victims is not going to solve the problem of violence in the streets or in the homes of Canada. Rather, tax payers’ money needs to be spent more on the people, providing resources or maintaining the resources that are in place. We can’t continue to ignore violence against men because it’s prevalent according to current studies. Admission to shelters for women has reduced in 11% from 1997/98 to 2003/04 (The Daily, March 30, 2006) according to Statistics Canada because of the increased support and awareness. If we can make it happen for women we can make it happen for men. Sincerely, Marci Lucas 12 of 14 References Archer, J. (2002). Sex differences in physically aggressive acts between heterosexual partners: A meta-analytic review. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 7, 313-351. Archer, J. (2000). Sex differences in aggression between heterosexual partners: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 126, 5, 651-680. CTV News. (2003). Statscan: More men victims of domestic violence. Retrieved March 25, 2006 From http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/print/CTVNews/20030713/stastcan_violenceagainst men_20030713/20030713/?hub=CTVNewsAt11&subhub=PrintStory Dutton, G. D., & Nicholls, L. T. (2005). The gender paradigm in domestic violence research And theory: part 1- the conflict of theory and data. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 10, 680-714. Feather, N.T. (1996). Domestic violence, gender, and perceptions of justice. Sex Roles, 35, 507-519. George, J. M. (2003). Invisible touch. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 8, 23-60. George, J. M. (1999). A victimization survey of female-perpetrated assaults in the United Kingdom. Aggressive Behavior, 25, 67-79. Grandin, E., & Lupri, E. (1997). Intimate violence in Canada and the United States: a crossnational comparison. Journal of Family Violence, 12, 4, 417-443. Lockhart, L. L., White, W. B., Causby, V., & Isaac, A. (1994). Letting out the secret: violence In lesbian relationships. Journal of Interpersonal violence, 9, 4, 469-492. 13 of 14 Lupri, E., & Grandin, E. (2004). Intimate partner abuse against men- an overview paper. National Clearinghouse on Family Violence. Retrieved February 13, 2006, from http://www.phac-aspc.go.ca/ncfv-cnivf/familyviolence/pdfs/Intimatepartner.pdf. Migliaccio, A. T. (2002). Abused husbands: a narrative analysis. Journal of Family Issues, 23, 1, 26-52. Steen, K., & Hunskaar, S. (2004). Gender and physical violence. Social Science and Medicine, 59 567-571. Saunders, G. D. (2002). Are physical assaults by wives and girlfriends a major social problem? Violence Against Women, 8, 12, 1424-1448. The Daily. (2005). Shelters for abused women. Retrieved March 25, 2006, from http://www.statscan.ca/Daily/English/05061/d050615a.htm. Tutty, L. (1999). Husband abuse: an overview of research and perspectives. National Clearinghouse on Family Violence. Retrieved February 15, 2006, From http://www.phac-aspc.gov.ca/ncfv-cnivf/familyviolence/pdfs/husbandenglish.pdf. 14 of 14