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					   BLONDIE & DAGWOOD’S SECOND WEDDING WORKOUT

ACT ONE

INT. BOARDROOM J.C. DITHERS CONSTRUCTION

A large portrait of " Julius C. Dithers. " TRUCK OUT to reveal the portrait hangs over a
sculpture of Julius C. Dithers.

TRUCK OUT FURTHER TO REVEAL

Julius C. Dithers, himself, (seated under his portrait and his sc ulpture) in a leather bound
executive chair at the head of a mile-long, polished oak conference table. Dithers puffs on a
big cigar while pontificating into the telephone.

                                      DITHERS
                                  (into telephone)
               Rest assured, Mr. Ferguson... the J.C. Dithers Company
                               will have your building
                        renovation finished in no time at all.


                                                                         WIPE TO:

DIAGONAL/SPLIT SCREEN

revealing Dithers in one half of the screen, Ferguson in the other. Ferguson is a
bigger, meaner, older, wealthier, more arrogant, more curmudgeonly, version of
Dithers. (Picture a bombastic combination of Ted , Kennedy and Andy Rooney.)

                                     FERGUSON
              (an intimidating roar) Good. Because that ' s exactly when I want it,
                             Dithers! In no time at all!

                                          DITHERS
                                  (reacts, intimidated)
                     In that case, I ' ll oversee this project myself.


ON FERGUSON
                                     FERGUSON
                                You can ' t fool me, you old windbag.
                                I know Bumstead does all the work!

BACK TO SPLIT SCREEN

Dithers grumbles and shakes his fist at the phone.

                                               1 of 49
                                  FERGUSON
                     And don't shake your fist at me!

Dithers reacts.

                                     FERGUSON
                        Just make that deadline and there ' ll
                  be a nice, fat bonus in it for you and Bumstead!

F e r g u s o n slams the phone down. As he d o e s , his image DIAGONALLY WIPES from
the screen. Dithers gets out of his leatherback chair and paces, ira te.

                                      DITHERS
                                 (his signature roar)
                                    Bumstead!

ANOTHER ANGLE

as Dagwood ENTERS.

                                    DAGWOOD
                            (with signature cheeriness)
                  All finished with the Ferguson blueprints, Mr. Dithers.

TRUCK OUT TO INCLUDE DITHERS

As Dagwood displays blueprint scrolls on the conference table. Dithers surveys the prints
and points at a calendar on the table.

                                      DITHERS
                                     (grumbling)
                     Not bad, Bumstead, not bad. Now bring
                      the job in by this date and there might
                    even be an " itsy-witsy " bonus in it for you.

Dithers ' phone rings. He answers it.


                                                                     WIPE TO:

DIAGONAL/SPLIT SCREEN FEATURING FERGUSON AND DITHERS

                                   FERGUSON
                                   (into phone)
                            And Dithers, don ' t scrimp
             on that big bonus for Bumstead either, you old chiseler!




                                             2 of 49
F e r g u s o n slams the phone down. His image DIAGONALLY WIPES OS.


ON DAGWOOD AND DITHERS

as Dithers hangs up.

                                        DITHERS
                                (to Dagwood, covering)
                                Like I said. There’ll be a
                    big, fat, juicy bonus in it for you, Bumstead.

DAGWOOD REACTS TO THE WORDS AND THEN THE CALENDAR.

                                    DAGWOOD
                                    (delighted)
                           Bonus? For me? Gee...Blondie
            will be so proud. And just in time for our a-a-ha-hawhaaaa!


FAST TRUCK IN ON CALENDAR PAGE

BACK TO PREVIOUS SHOT

Dithers tries to calm Dagwood, with " calm down " arm gestures.

                                           DITHERS
                       B u m s t e a d ! I know it ' s the first bonus
                          you ' ve gotten in eighteen years...
                           but grab hold of yourself, man!

Dagwood pleads his case, as Mr. Dithers crosses behind his the conference table and
resumes his seat in his leather chair.

                                      DAGWOOD
                   I can ' t, Mr. Dithers...Today ' s my anniversary!

Dithers leans back in his leather chair.

                                    DITHERS
                  So what? ...Anniversaries are like headaches....
                     ignore them long enough, they go away.

Dagwood leaps to his feet and grabs his coat and briefcase.

                                    DAGWOOD
                  I'm going to have to take the rest of the day off.




                                              3 of 49
Dithers windmills his arms in shock, trying to lean forward in his chair, finally accomplishing
the task.

                                      DITHERS
                          Take the rest of the what, where?!

                                      DAGWOOD
                               I can't let Blondie down.


Dagwood DASHES O.S.

ON DITHERS

                                       DITHERS
                        Let her down? I always try to get my o l ’
                     battle axe something that will just shut her up.


                                                                        DISSOLVE TO: EXT.

DEPARTMENT STORE

Dagwood comes out under a load of boxes and packages . His legs wobble under the strain.

                                      DAGWOOD
                                       (to camera)
                             (straining under the load)
                       When you can ' t find something special, go for bulk.
                                (then, reacting O.S.)
                                          Wow!

Dagwood is suddenly blinded by a DAZZLING FLASH coming from a storefront window.

CU - JEWELRY STORE WINDOW

We see that the source of the flash is a gorgeous diamond ring, resting on a velvet pillow.

ON DAGWOOD - PANNING

He rushes to the window, still balancing his load of boxes. He st ares longingly at the ring,
a hungry dog in front of a butcher shop.
MEDIUM CU - WEDDING RING - TRUCK IN

a dazzling beauty.

                                  DAGWOOD (V.0.)
                                  Now, that's special.




                                              4 of 49
BACK ON PREVIOUS SHOT

He turns away from the window.

                                    DAGWOOD ( c o n t . )
                              But how could I ever a f f o r d i t ?
                                     Wait a m inu te. ..

A th o u g h t balloon a p p e a r s o v e r D a g w o o d ' s h e a d . In it , M r. D i t h e r s
blu s te rs in a repeat of the e a r l i e r scene.

                                                  DITHERS
          T h e r e ' l l b e a n i c e , b i g , fat bonus i n i t f o r y o u , B u m s t e a d .
                                                                                              WIPE TO:

CU OF RING IN OPEN RING BOX

B e i n g p l a c e in Dagwood’s o u t s t r e t c h e d hand. TRUCK OUT to r e v e a l

INT. JEWELRY STORE

Where a bes p ec k led CLERK i s ready to r i n g up th e s a l e .

                                                CLERK
                               W i l l t h a t be cash, check, or...

CLOSE ON DAGWOOD

as he p l a c e s the r i n g box on t h e c o u n t e r , a n d b ea m s c o n f i d e n t l y .

                                          DAGWOOD
           C h a r g e i t ! Th a nks t o t h a t bonus, I'l l be a b le to pay
                              f o r i t in f u l l , next payday.

Dagwood hands the c l e r k h i s c r e d i t c a r d . Dagwood a dm i r e s t h e box. The c l e r k
turns away.
                                      CLERK
                                     Yes, sir!

CLOSEUP CREDIT CARD MACHINE

a s t h e c l e r k r u n s t h e i m p r i n t b a r u p a n d back a c r o s s t h e c a r d . T h e c a r d r e a d s
"DAGWOOD BUMSTEAD". SFX: LOUD CLACK OF MACHINE.

                                                                                             FADE OUT

                                                     END ACT I



                                                           5 of 49
                                             ACT II

                                                                              FADE IN

EXTERIOR - BUMSTEAD HOUSE - ESTABLISHING


As the camera MOVES IN on the house, a panting Cookie begins to talk.

                                  COOKIE (V.0.)
             ...I know Willard says he's crazy about me, Cyndi. But...

BUMSTEAD LIVING ROOM -

Cookie is pedaling a stationary bike in front of the television, while talking on the phone.

                                           COOKIE
                                         (into phone)
          ...he ' s such a " nerk. " You know... half nerd, Half jerk. (giggle)

SFX: DOORBELL

                                        COOKIE
                                   (reacts; into phone) U h - o h .
                                 Somebody ' s at the door. Gotta go.

Cookie hangs up the phone, hops off the stationary b i k e , crosses to the front door, peeks
through the peephole, then opens it .

ANOTHER ANGLE

Revealing Alexander STANDING AT THE DOOR, holding a large box in his arms.

                                       ALEXANDER
                                         Hi, Sis.

Alexander maneuvers through the door, past Cookie. She follows.

                                       COOKIE
                                      (relieved)
                           Hi...Alexander. I was afraid you
                           were Willard. What ' s in the box?

Alexander proudly displays the box.




                                                 6 of 49
                                      ALEXANDER
                     Just a brand new Megabrain 2000 computer.
                          That's all. I won it with my report
                          on "software for hardware stores. "

Cookie reacts.

                                     COOKIE
                              What games will it play?

                                    ALEXANDER
                               (suddenly a little kid)
                              Only the best...Space Weasel!

                                       COOKIE
                                   (sighs with glee)
                                   Really? Let ' s go!

Cookie and Alexander race up the stairs like two kids on Christmas morning.

HOLD ON SCENE - FEATURING FRONT DOOR

as it opens, Dagwood ENTERS, carrying his towering s t a c k of gifts. His knees quiver
under the weight. He peers about carefully, hoping to avoid detection. Daisy ENTERS,
unnoticed and peers about the room, mimicking Dagwood's actions.

                                       DAGWOOD
                            (peering around gifts)
                            Great. No one ' s home.
                            I ' ll just put these gifts away and...

DAISY turns O.S., as we hear a car pull in the driveway, O.S. two doors open and close.
Dagwood looks to camera, realizing.


ON DAGWOOD
                                     DAGWOOD
                                    (to himself)
                                Oh, no... It ' s Blondie.


BACK WIDE
in a whirlwind of activity, Dagwood stuffs all the g i f t s and Daisy into the hall closet. The
closet door slams and Dagwood leans against it, out of breath.

                                  DAGWOOD
                                Whew. Just in time.




                                              7 of 49
                                   DAISY (O.S.)
                                (muffled muttering)

                                    DAGWOOD
                                      Huh?


Dagwood reacts and opens the closet door.

C L O S E O N DOORFRAME

as Daisy EXITS, miffed, wearing a large red bow attached to her midsection like a tu-tu, and
a crumpled, but tasteless ladies hat on her head.

PAN WITH HER AS

she moves with a " how could you do this to me " look. She GOES O.S.

                                      DAISY
                            (Mutter, grumble, mutter.)

WIDE

Dagwood closes the closet looking back in Dais y’s direction.

                                    DAGWOOD
                                    Sorry, girl.

The front door opens, Dagwood looks over as Blondie and Cora Dithers ENTER.


ON BLONDIE AND CORA

PAN WITH THEM

as they move to include Dagwood in the shot.

                                    DAGWOOD
                                      (coyly)
                                    Hi, honey.

Dagwood kisses Blondie.

                                  BLONDIE
                  Dagwood, Mrs. Dithers and I have just been to
                           a wonderful seminar called
                "How to Spend Quality Time With Your Husband. "

                                   DAGWOOD
                                   Ya don ' t say?

                                             8 of 49
ON CORA



                                       CORA
                          Uh-huh. Now all I need is a quality
                             husband to spend time with.

MEDIUM CU - ON BLONDIE AT CLOSET DOOR

TRUCK OUT TO INCLUDE BLONDIE AND CLOSET DOOR HEAD TO TOE.

                                     BLONDIE
                                      (amused)
                             Oh Cora! I ' ll just hang up
                            my coat and we ' ll... Whooaaa!

Blondie opens the closet door and the trio is suddenly buried under an avalanche of gift
boxes. SFX: CRASH.

ON THE PILE OF BOXES

Blondie pops up from under a pile of gift boxes.

                                       BLONDIE
                                        Huh???

Cora pops up from under another section, laughing.

                                       CORA
                       Good gracious, Blondie... We must have
                          died and gone to Bloomingdale's.

Dagwood pops up from under his own section of gift boxes.

                                    DAGWOOD
                        Surprise! Happy Anniversary, Honey.

Blondie, Cora and Dagwood struggle to their feet and survey the mess.

                                       BLONDIE
                       I think the surprise is on you, Dagwood.
                        Our anniversary isn't until next week.

                                         DAGWOOD
                                           It isn ' t?
                                      (then dejected)
                        Oh... I g u e s s I messed up again, huh?



                                            9 of 49
ON BLONDIE AND DAGWOOD
as Blondie takes Dagwood ' s hand in hers.

                                        BLONDIE
                                       Oh, Dagwood.


WIDEN TO INCLUDE CORA

Dagwood beams.

                                        DAGWOOD
                                       Sorry, Honey.


They hug. Cora reacts.

ON CORA

considering the lovebirds, looking skyward in reverie, then PAN WITH HER AS she
moves toward the door.

                                         CORA
                      Sigh... " true love." The most wonderful
                         thing a woman can have besides
                           a checkbook. Ha Ha. Toodles.

Cora EXITS.

ANGLE STAIRCASE - PANNING DOWN

as Cookie TIPTOES DOWN THE STAIRS, FOLLOWED BY Alexander.

                                    ALEXANDER
                                  What was that crash?

                                      COOKIE
                          (peering hesitantly into the room)
                            Probably that dweeb, Willard.

ANOTHER ANGLE - CORNER OF WALL

As Cookie and Alexander both peer into the living room.

                                      ALEXANDER
                     Nope, d i f f e r e n t d w e e b , S i s . It ' s Dad.


Alexander and Cookie look at each other and giggle. ON BLONDIE

AND DAGWOOD - THE KIDS ' POV
                                                   10 of 49
They stand side by side, in the mess, cooing and c u d d l i n g . Dagwood reacts, spotting
Cookie and Alexander.


                                     DAGWOOD
                          Cookie, A l exand er , come on in!
TRUCK OUT

as kids CROSS INTO SHOT from stairs.

                                     DAGWOOD
                       Let s spend some quality time together.
                          '



                                         COOKIE
                              (giggles) Aw...do we have to?

                                     DAGWOOD
                              Uh-Huh. Helping me clean up
                                   this mess I made.

                                 ALEXANDER/COOKIE
                                 Aw. Gee, Dad. Okay.


Kids start to pick up boxes and place them in the closet.

ON BLONDIE

At the far end of the pile, she bends to pick up a gi ft box. She reacts to the sight of
something under it.

                                       BLONDIE
                                  Oh, Dagwood... look.

Blondie picks up the item, r e v e a l i n g that it ' s an old leather-bound, photo album.

ON DAGWOOD

reacting, moving away from the closet in Blondie's direction.

                                     DAGWOOD
                                 Our old photo album!


The kids continue putting away stuff, hurriedly.

ON THE COUCH
As Blondie and Dagwood sit down together. Daisy jumps up on the couch with them. She
too makes interesting faces and doing " doggy things " throughout the following scene.


                                               11 of 49
                                    DAGWOOD
                                 (displaying book)
                           " Blondie and D a g w o o d : Our

                               Early Years. " Gee, look.

He opens the photo album on his lap with a dusty THUD.


ON COOKIE AND ALEXANDER

crossing behind their parents to see what they ' re reacting to. Daisy looks up at them.
Dagwood reacts without looking up.

                                       DAGWOOD

                                    Finished already?

                                      ALEXANDER
                                        Uh-huh.

ON THE PICTURE BOOK

Blondie looks great, Dagwood looks like a geek.

                                  COOKIE (V.0.)
                                       (sigh)
                               Mom, you look beautiful.

                                  DAGWOOD (V.0.)
                                        I ' ll say.
                                 ALEXANDER (V.0.)
                           Dad, you look like a rodeo clown.

(NOTE: For our purposes, the depictions of the photo albums we will be actual inserts of
the original " Chick Y o u n g " Blondie comic strip.

As we refer to the album we see a young Dagwood courting a young B londie, establishing
all of the signature landmarks that have made the strip what it is.)


ON DAGWOOD, ALEXANDER, AND DAISY
Daisy looks at book, then Dagwood, then back at book. Dagwood reacts to Alexander with a
look, then turns the page.

                                       DAGWOOD
                                       Thanks, son.

BACK ON GROUP


as Dagwood turns the page.


                                             12 of 49
                                              BLONDIE
                   Look h o n e y . . . o u r first neighborhood barbecue.

                                        DAGWOOD
                                         Oh, yea.

CU - PICTURE

We see a single-frame depicting the Bumstead backy ard . D agwood is in a chef's hat and
apron, standing in front o f a barbecue. Smoke billows everywhere. There are five o r six
burly firemen in slickers in the background. Cookie's hand enters frame, pointing to
firemen.

                             COOKIE (V.0.)
               Gee, Mom. Who are those guys in the funny hats?

                                   BLONDIE (V.0.)
                                    Firemen, dear.

                               DAGWOOD (V.0.)
                     Barbecued the whole neighborhood, son.

BACK ON DAGWOOD

reacting, then turning another page.

                                     BLONDIE
                         Oh, Dagwood... our first dinner party.

CU - PICTURE

We see a young Dagwood and Blondie in tuxedo and evening gown, among guests in the
living room, firemen in the background.

                                 ALEXANDER (V.0.)
                                Hey, aren ' t those the...

ON DAGWOOD

reacting to Alexander.

                                 BLONDIE (sheepish)
                                 Uh-huh... firemen again!

                                 DAGWOOD
                                  (laughing)
                 Came by to make sure I wasn ' t gonna barbecue.

                                     DAGWOOD
                                      (reacting)
                         Hey, where are our wedding pictures?
                                              13 of 49
                                      BLONDIE
                 I keep all of our wedding things in the front closet.

ANOTHER ANGLE - FEATURING DAISY.

She hears the word " closet " she takes off running.

                                         DAISY
                                       (I'll get it!)

                              ALEXANDER AND COOKIE
                                    Daisy! No!


Cookie and Alexander run after Daisy. ON HALL

CLOSET DOOR

Daisy runs INTO SCENE and jumps up with her front feet on the door, which flies
open. All the boxes start to bulge o u t .

                                         DAISY
                                   (Frightened yelp.)

Alexander and Cookie race INTO SCENE and catch stacks of boxes before they fall and
push them back. Dusting off their palms...

                                ALEXANDER/COOKIE
                                      Phew!

Blondie and Dagwood ENTER SCENE, next to the closet.

                                      DAGWOOD
                                       (sarcastic)
                             Nice job of cleaning up, kids.

SFX: RUMBLING SOUND

The stack of boxes gives way and tons of " stuff " falls d o w n , burying all characters.
When debris settles...

Blondie's wedding dress has fallen out of a box in f r o n t of Blondie. Dagwood's tuxedo is
in front of him. Blondie's veil has fallen on her head and a top hat falls on Dagwood's
h e a d . It looks like they are wearing the clothes. Alexander and Cookie reach out their
hands to help their parents get up.

                                COOKIE/ALEXANDER
                                      Sorry.

                                     DAGWOOD
                           Hey...this gives me a great idea.
                                               14 of 49
CLOSE ON DAGWOOD AND BLONDIE

Dagwood on one knee, takes Blondie's hand.

                                    DAGWOOD
                          Blondie, will you do me the honor
                      of marrying me again, on our anniversary?

                                    ALEXANDER
                      Don't do it, Mom. Hold out for a rich guy.

                                        COOKIE
                                       Alexander!

ANOTHER ANGLE

As Blondie smiles sweetly, batting her eyes and vamping.

                                    BLONDIE
                      Why, yes, Dagwood, I'll marry you again.

Alexander pulls on Cookie's arm.

                                     ALEXANDER
                 Come on, Sis. This looks like it ' s going to get mushy.

                                         COOKIE
                                         (giggles)

The kids EXIT, as Dagwood and Blondie climb to their feet.

                                        DAGWOOD
              Perfect...we ' ll be married next Wednesday at two o ' clock!

                                             BLONDIE
               Our a n n i v e r s a r y is next Thursday, dear. And nothing
                                         too fancy, okay?


Blondie kisses Dagwood on the cheek and EXITS.

ON DAGWOOD AND DAISY

                                      DAGWOOD
                                        (sheepish)
                                     Right! Thursday.

Dagwood produces the ring box, shows it to Daisy. D a i s y r e a c t s .



                                             15 of 49
                                          DAISY

                                  (Huh? What ' s this?)

                                      DAGWOOD
                                 I wouldn ' t say this was
                              too fancy, would you Daisy?

He opens the box, revealing the ring.

CLOSE - DAISY AND THE RING

Daisy looks at box, ring glimmers. Her eyes bug out, at the gorgeous stone.

                                         DAISY
                                      (Oh, my God!)


                                                                           DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. FERGUSON CONSTRUCTION SITE - THE NEXT DAY

We see an expansive o f f i c e b u i l d i n g , under r e n o v a t i o n . Present are bulldozers,
cement mixers, cranes, 'earth movers, etc. A construction crew is hard at work. TRUCK IN
on Bumstead station wagon as it pulls to the curb.

CLOSE O N C A R

revealing Dagwood at the wheel. Daisy sits next to him. He looks purposefully toward the
building.

                                      DAGWOOD
                            C ' mon, girl...Let ' s get to work.

                                         DAISY
                                        (Oh, boy!)

WIDEN AS

Daisy yelps, Dagwood gets out of the car, and together they move O.S.
                                                                           DISSOLVE TO:

THE FERGUSON BUILDING - PANNING UP

A construction elevator moves slowly up the side of the structure. As it gets higher, the
structure becomes more and more a framework in progress.




                                                16 of 49
                                       DAGWOOD (V.0.)
                       D a i s y . . . i t 's i m p o r t a n t f o r m e t o
                        establish my c r e d i b i l i t y w i t h
                          these g u y s , r i g h t o f f the bat.


CLOSER SHOT CONSTRUCTION ELEVATOR DOOR
It opens revealing Dagwood and Daisy. Both are wearing ill -fitting hardhats, looking
somewhat absurd, and totally devoid of credibility. They move O.S.

ON A CONSTRUCTION WORKER

crouched near a metal support beam, working on two sections of metal, at right angles,
with a welding torch. Beneath him the street scene seems miles away. He wears a
welder ' s helmet, complete with visor. Dagwood ENTERS SCENE with a terrified and
trembling Daisy creeping along the girders behind him.

                                                 DAGWOOD
                    . . . S a y . . . T h a t ' s a fine job you ' re doing with
                               that welding torch. What do you
                                  call that thing you just made?

The construction worker lifts his visor and looks up at Dagwood, irritated.

                              CONSTRUCTION WORKER
                                    A corner.


ON DAGWOOD

as he jots down the new info in a note pad. Halfway through he realizes it ' s not new info.

                                    DAGWOOD
                   Got it. Corner? Heck, we knew that, huh girl?


TWO SHOT

Daisy adds a terrified nod to her already terrified trembling torso.


WIDE

As the construction worker shakes his head, then goes back to work. Dagwood and Daisy
react to a baritone bellow coming from O.S.

                                       BELLOW (V.0.)
                                          RIVET!!




                                                     17 of 49
Dagwood reacts and looks, then his eyes go wide.

DOWN ANGLE - CONSTRUCTION WORKER ON LOWER FLOOR.

firing red-hot rivets from a rivet gun.

CU - RIVETS

Red hot and rocketing towards CAMERA like a line of flaming bumblebees.

                                  DAGWOOD (V.0.)
                                      Yaaaa!

ON DAGWOOD ' S PANTLEG, PANNING RAPIDLY

As the red hot rivets hurdle INTO SCENE, "bolting " Dagwood to the crossbeam, through his
pant legs. His clothes begin to smolder.

TRUCK OUT TO INCLUDE A STARTLED DAISY

sniffing the smoke rising from the hot rivets in the clothing.

                                       DAGWOOD
                              (looking down at Daisy)
       Gee, I guess you could say I ' m becoming attached to this job, hey girl?

Dagwood wriggles to get free, and lunges forward...but h i s pants and shirt are stuck to the
beam. He unwittingly steps forward out of his clothes, in his underwear. He gives the man
below a thumbs up gesture of approval.

                                    DAGWOOD
                                      (shouts)
                              Good job on those rivets.


ANGLE DOWN ON WORKER - POV BEHIND DAGWOOD IN HIS BVD ' s.

He looks up at Dagwood, shrugs, and goes back to work. ON DAGWOOD

AND DAISY - HEAD TO TOE

Dagwood is pleased. Daisy is embarrassed.

                                   DAGWOOD
                    Guess that showed him who's boss, eh, Daisy?

Humiliated, Daisy points to Dagwood and his clothes, indicating his predicament. Dagwood
catches on.
                                  DAGWOOD
                                      Huh?

                                             18 of 49
He grabs his clothes.

CLOSE UP

Pants pocket as ringbox slips out.

ON DAGWOOD AND DAISY

Daisy spots the ring box as it falls out. Dagwood moves O . S . in the opposite direction. Daisy
jumps in the direction of the box to try and save it.

PAN WITH HER AS

she stops just at the edge, realizing where she is again.

                                        DAISY
                                     (Oh my God.)
HER POV

The ring box tumbling into infinity. The street scene far, far below, looking like a
classic vertigo s c e n e .

BACK TO PREVIOUS SHOT

Dagwood drags Daisy away from the edge and toward the elevator.

                                    DAGWOOD
              Not that way, Daisy. I think the elevator would be safer.

                                       DAISY
                                     (Muttering.)


                                                                        DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BUMSTEAD LIVING ROOM -

Cookie is standing in the center of the living room, d r e s s e d in a brand new, maid of honor
dress. She looks gorgeous as she twirls in the full length mirror.


SFX: DOORBELL

ANOTHER ANGLE

Cookie crosses to the door and opens it REVEALING a thin, nervous-looking teenage boy.
This is Willard: the consummate " nerk, " a cross between Ed Grimley and Ed Norton as a
teenager. He ' s carrying a textbook and sipping from a " slurpy-type " soda cup.



                                              19 of 49
                                        COOKIE
                                      (non-plussed)
                                     Hello, Willard...

He holds up the textbook.

                                        WILLARD
                             Uh...I thought you might want
                             to s-s-study geometry together.

                                        COOKIE
                             Willard! It's summer vacation.

                                        WILLARD
                                          Oh.

He tosses book O.S. over his shoulder and pushes the slur p y cup toward Cookie.

                                      WILLARD
                                        (slurp)
                            Want a sip of my cherry slush?

He fumbles, and inadvertently spills the red goo all over C o ok i e ' s dress.

                                      WILLARD
                                     Whoops. Sorry.

CU - COOKIE' S DRESS
We see that the soda has left obvious stains.

MEDIUM - TWO SHOT

Cookie reacts, traumatized.

                                    COOKIE
         Oh, great! Now, what am I going to wear to my parents ' wedding?!

                                      WILLARD
                                      (stunned)
                             Your parents aren't married??

                                              COOKIE
                                              (boiling)
                Of c o u r s e t h e y ' re married! What ' s wrong with you?




                                                 20 of 49
                                      WILLARD
                          Well, I have b a d allergies, and I'm
                                not very athletic and...

Cookie slams the door.

                                                                   DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BUMSTEAD KITCHEN

Blondie is at the stove preparing dinner when Dagwood ENTERS through the back door.

                                     DAGWOOD
                               Well, Honey, one full day
                         and everything ' s running on schedule!

                                        BLONDIE
                              I m so proud of you, Dagwood.
                              '



CU DAGWOOD

                                     DAGWOOD
                     Nothing ' s going to keep us away from that
                      church this Thursday! It ' s that simple.

BACK WIDE

Dagwood and Blondie kiss. Blondie EXITS. SFX: PHONE R I N G S .
Dagwood answers.

                                       DAGWOOD
                                       (into phone)
                           Cookie and Alexander Bumstead ' s
                             residence. Some old guy they
                                 let live here speaking.

A DIAGONAL WIPE

REVEALS a fuming Mr. Dithers on the other end of the line. He frowns at his phone and then
screams.

                                      DITHERS
                              What? Bumstead is that you?

Dagwood reacts, cheerfully.

                                    DAGWOOD
                     Hello, Mr. Dithers! What can I do for you?

                                             21 of 49
CU DITHERS

Dithers fumes.


                                        DITHERS
                     Y o u c a n get that F e r g u s o n b u i l d i n g
                        d o n e a w e e k s o o n e r , that ' s what!
               The old man j u s t moved the deadline up to Thursday.

MED CU - DAGWOOD

Dagwood's eyes go wide. He waves his free arm for emphasis.

                                   DAGWOOD
                            But, Mr. Dithers...there ' s no
                                 way that building
                           can be done by this Thursday!
                        And besides, my wedding is that day.

BACK ON SPLIT SCREEN

                                      DITHERS
                         Well, if you don't get the building
                        done, you can switch it to a funeral.

Dagwood looks at his receiver, disbelieving.

                                 DAGWOOD What!?

                                      DITHERS
                       Ferguson said, " No building, no bonus. "
                        And I say, " No bonus, no Bumstead."

Dithers hangs up, and his IMAGE WIPES FROM THE SCREEN. Dagwood stands,
holding the receiver, fraught with anxiety. A cartoon thought balloon appears over
his head. In it we see Dagwood and the jewelry store clerk.

CLOSE - THE BALLOON

                                      DAGWOOD
                    I'll be able to pay for it in full, next payday.

BACK OUT TO MEDIUM CLOSEUP DAGWOOD AS

the thought bubble DISAPPEARS and Dagwood gulps.




                                         22 of 49
                 DAGWOOD
       ( i n t o camera; gulping)
    Maybe I ' l l g et sent to one of
those prisons that have tennis courts.
               (ca lling out)
                  Blondie!

                                         FADE OUT



            END OF ACT TWO




                      23 of 49
                                          ACT THREE


FADE IN

INT. BUMSTEAD KITCHEN -
Dagwood, Blondie, Cookie and Alexander are having a family meeting. Blondie and the kids
are seated around the table as Dagwood paces. Alexander is reading a computer manual and
Cookie is comparing ribbons for her dress.

                                       DAGWOOD
                   Let s face it, Blondie...I can ' t renovate a building
                         '

                       and organize a wedding for the same day
                         at the same time. What am I gonna do?


He stops near Blondie.

ON BLONDIE AND DAGWOOD
ever the voice of composed logic and reason, she t a k e s Dagwood ' s hand.

                                    BLONDIE
                     Well, we might be able to do both, if we
             tackle this the way we have everything else in our lives.


ON THE KIDS

nodding, knowingly.

                                      ALEXANDER
                                Call the fire department?

                                           BLONDIE
                                           (scolding)
                         No, A l e x a n d e r . We ' ll use teamwork!


GROUP

Blondie puts her hand on Dagwood's shoulder.

                                       BLONDIE
                        Daddy will work on the Ferguson
                   renovation and I ' ll handle the wedding plans.

                                             COOKIE
                                     I ' ll help you, Mom.




                                                   24 of 49
                                    ALEXANDER
                   A n d m y n e w M e ga b r a i n 2 0 0 0 com pu te r
                         c an ke e p t rack o f e v e r y t h i n g .

O N THE GROUP

                 D AG WO O D / BLO ND IE/ C O O KI E/ AL EX AND R
                                   It's a deal.

Th ey touch hand s like a foo tball team breaking a hud d le.

EXT. - BUMSTEAD FRONT PORCH

Willard approaches the door with an aerosol can.

                                         WILLARD
                       O n c e I g e t t h a t s t a i n o f f C oo k i e ' s
                    d r e s s , sh e w o n ' t t h in k I ' m s u c h a n e r k .

Willard is about to ring the bell when we hear:

                                D AGWO O D (V.0.)
                    Gotta get back to w o r k , honey! Bye.

The front door opens and Dagwood sprints out of the h o u s e , trampling
W i l l a r d , just as if he were Beasley, the m a i l m a n .

                                    D AGWO O D/ WILLARD
                                    (Collision walla)

Dagwood sprints OUT OF SHOT.

                                     D AGWOO D (O S )
                                        Sorry, son.

ON WILLARD

He struggles to a sitting position.

                                  WILLARD
                                (woozy, then)
                    I'm not a "nerk. "I'm a doormat. Umph.

He f a l l s O.S. with a thump!




                                                 25 of 49
                                                                           DISSOLVE T O :

EX T . FE RGU SO N C ON S TRUC T IO N S I TE - ES T A BL IS H ING - TR UC K

IN A N G L E O N D A G W O O D


Dagwood, a clipboard in one hand and a cordless phone i n the other.

                                    DAGWOOD
                                    (into phone)
                              Alexander, are you with me?

                                                                    WIPE TO:

DIAGONAL SPLIT-SCREEN

in which we see Alexander in the bottom half at home w i t h his computer. He's
wearing a telephone headset. We see D a g w o o d in the upper half, speaking into
the cordless phone.

                                     ALEXANDER
                                   Right h ere, Dad.

                                       DAGWOOD
                 N o w p a y a t t e n t i o n , s o n . We ' re up a g a i n s t
               an impossible deadline! Here 's what we need.




                                                                                    CUT TO:

ON ALEXANDER

as he cracks his knuckles and stretches his fingers like a concert pianist
before a performance.

                                     ALEXANDER
                                     (into headset)
                                       Fire away!

ON DAGWOOD

checking items off the clipboard.




                                                 26 of 49
                                                  DAGWOOD
                                                 (into phone)
 T h r e e t h o u s a n d c o u n t e r f l a n g e b o i l s . . . F i f ty t h ou s a nd g a l l o n s q u i c k s e t
        c e m e n t , one h u n d r e d thirty tungsten alloy support girders...

ON ALEXANDER


typing happily on his keyboard. Lots of beeps and clicks.

                                                 ALEXANDER
                                       Consider ' em on th eir way .

CU - COMPUTER SCREEN

We see the various items displayed on the screen like h i g h -tech
schematic drawings for the space shuttle.




                                                                                                        WIPE TO :

EXT. BUMSTEAD BACKYARD

Blondie is in the garden, inspecting her flowers. She q u i c k l y scribbles a
n o t a t i o n o n a notepad, t h e n p r o d u c e s h e r o w n c o r d l e s s p h o n e .

                                                  BLO ND IE
                                                (into phone)
                                              Ready, Alexander?

WIPE TO OPPOSITE DIAGONAL S P L I T SCREEN

in which we s e e A l e x a n d e r , a g a i n a t h i s computer c o n s o l e , w e a r i n g h i s
headset. He shares the s creen w ith B lo n d ie , speaking into the cordless
phone.

                                         ALEXANDER
                                        (into headset)
                                Check! H o m e b a s e t o M o b i l e
                             Interface O n e . P r o c e e d M o b i l e O n e !

                                                  BLONDIE
                             W h a t ? L i s t e n , A l e x a n d e r . D o I h av e
                             e no u gh f lo w er s i n b loom t o d e c o r a t e
                                       the chapel, make eight
                             table arrangem ents for the reception,
                                 and one large bouquet for me?
                                                               27 of 49
ON ALEXANDER

as he types furiously.

ON COMPUTER SCREEN


A schematic drawing of Blondi e's garden appears in m i n i a t u r e and rotates on
the computer screen. Various sections change c o l o r . A computer buzzer
sounds. SFX: BEEP.

                                ALEXANDER (V.0.)
                        Negatory, Mrs. B. Yo u'll need to order
                                supplemental flora.

 BACK TO SPLIT SCREEN
 Blond ie lo o ks at th e ph o ne.

                                             BLONDIE
                                              What??

Alexander quickly types in a code on the computer's keyboard.

                                          ALEXANDER
                           I'll c h e c k a v a i l a b i l i t y and prices
                          and get right back to you, Big Mama.

H e h i t s o ne fi na l co m pu t e r bu t ton and wi th i ts " b ee p " ,

ALEXANDER'S IMAGE WIPES FROM THE SCREEN.

ON BLONDIE

reacting.

                                             BLONDIE
                                            Big Mama?

Blondie shakes her head.


                                                                              DISSOLVE TO: EXT.
CONSTRUCTION SITE -

we see that the renov a tion has progress ed a great d ea l in a single day.



                                                     28 of 49
TRUC K INTO ARE A AT BA SE O F SITE. O N

DAGWOOD.

He stands, facing the construction site, holding an armload of blueprints open
in front of him. Daisy climbs a pole next to him, and grabs a quick peak of the
blu ep rin ts o v e r D a g w o o d 's shoulder. She nods authoritatively and looks from
the blueprint to the building.


                                              DAGWOOD
                                              Gee, Daisy...


UP ANGLE CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAGWOOD'S POV

The whole front of the building is beginning to take shape.


                                          DAGWOOD (V.O.)
                                   It s beginning to look... exactly
                                    '

                                         the way I designed it!


ON DAISY AND DAGWOOD

D a i s y s p o t s so m e th i ng O . S . i n a n o th e r d ire c t ion , a nd takes!!! D a g w o o d i s
still admiring the building.

CEMENT MIXER - DAISY'S POV

TRUCKING IN on the ring box visible resting atop the p i l e of unmixed
cement. Suddenly, the mixer begins to rotate, the cement begins to churn and
the ring box d i s a p p e a r s down i n t o the gurgling cement sludge.

BACK TO PREVIOUS SHOT.

Daisy yelps and points in desperation.

                                                   DAISY
                                         ( W a i t ! S t o p ! Look!)

Dagwood rolls up his blueprints and pats Daisy appreciatively.


                                          DAGWOOD
                        Tha t s righ t, girl. D addy is a g e n i u s , h u h ?
                               '




                                                         29 of 49
He moves O.S.

Daisy wilts with d isappointm ent.

CLOSE UP ON DAISY

as sh e slides do wn the po le,

CAMERA PANS DOWN WITH HER.

                                                      D A IS Y
                                                    (Schmuck.)

                                                                                              WIPE TO:

INT. BEVERLY HILLS-TYPE DELICATESSEN

T h e d o o r o p e n s a n d C o r a and B l o n d i e e n t e r . B l o n d i e is immediately
distracted by the fabu lo u s d i s p l a y of p r e p a r e d goodies in the lengthy glass
case before them.

TRUCK OUT AS THEY MOVE TOWARD THE CAMERA.

                                                    CORA
                                                (to Blondie
                            B l o n d i e , t h i s is Blue A s p a r a g u s . . .
                                th e t r e n d i e s t caterer in town.

BLONDIE'S P.O.V.

CAMERA TRUCKS PAST DECADENT AND SUMPTUOUS FOOD DISPLAY

                                                           CORA (V.0)
                                                A d o ll like y ou sh ould h ave a
                                                 fabulous reception, dear.

CLOSE ON BLONDIE

s t i l l e y e i n g t h e display c a s e .

                                                            BLONDIE
                                    C o r a , a t o u r f i r s t w e d d i n g w e h a d t u na
                                           roll-ups a n d H a w a i i a n punch.

ON CORA, OTS BLONDIE



                                                             30 of 49
                                                      CORA
                              Well...I happen to k n o w that Dagwood
                                       is getting a fat, juicy b o n u s
                                    f o r r e n o v a t i n g t h i s Ferguson
             b u i l d i n g , h o n . Frankly, y o u c a n a f f o r d a n y t h i n g y o u w a n t .

ON BLONDIE

brightening considerably, but still hesitant.


                                                 BLONDIE
                                               Really? Gee....

INCLUDE C O R A

She turns to the clerk.


                                                       CORA
                                  Let me h a n d l e t h i s . . . We'll h a v e
                                  fifty pounds of L o b s t e r L o v e l i e s ,
                                  t h r e e p a t e s w a n s , fifteen cases...

                                                                                    D I S S O L V E TO :


EXT. CONSTRUCTlON SITE -

Trucks are arriving. The place is ready for battle.

                                                  DAGWOOD
                                            (through bullhorn)
                                   A l l r i g h t m e n ! T im e i s m on e y !
                                          Let's get the lead out!


ON TRUCK

as the men open doors and get out.

C LO S E O N B A C K O F C E M E N T

TRUCK

AS MOTOR'S WHIRL, TRUCK OUT TO REVEAL

Instead of cement, a frothy white substance roars out i n t o a trough.
One of Dagwood’s workers takes and puts his f i n g e r in the goo.
                                                     31 of 49
                                           WORKER #1
                                      Hey , th is is n ' t cem en t.

D a gw oo d w a l k s I N TO S C E NE c o n c e r n e d , b u t c e r t a i n i t c a n b e w o r k ed o u t .

                                              DRIVER
                       C e m e n t ? H e c k , n o . It ' s w h i p p i n g c r e a m !

Dagwood looks at the man in disbelief.

                                            DAGWOOD
                                           (incredulous)
                                          Whipping cream?

T h e d riv e r pu l ls o u t a p i ec e o f pa pe r and d ef en s ive ly s h o w s i t t o D a g w o o d .

                                          DRIVER #1
                                Right! Fifty thousand gallons.
                                  Just like the i n v o i ce says.

Another truck pulls INTO SCENE behind them. Dagwood r e a c t s .

                                         DRIVER #2
                                 Where do I dump the icing??!
ON DAGWOOD

reacting and looking feverishly through his blueprints.

                                             DAGWOOD
                              Um... Icing???! L ook pal, we're
                       r e no v a t in g a b ui ld in g, n ot bak ing a c a k e .


                                          DRIVER #1
                                     Coulda fooled me.

                                              DAGWOOD
                                             (realizing)
                                               (Gasp.)
                                              Alexander.

                                                                                     DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ALEXANDER'S BEDROOM – LATER

Alexander s i t s amidst high-tech, computer equipment of v a r i o u s
d escriptio ns. A printer s p i t s out a computer readout. A l e x a n d e r
quickly studies the figu res, then:


                                                         32 of 49
                                        ALEXANDER
                        That's w e i r d . . . I 've run these figures
                        three times now. And they s t i l l say
                              something's over budget.

Alexander scratches his head. SFX: DOORBELL

INT. BUMSTEAD ENTRY HALL

Blondie crosses INTO SCENE.

                                   BLONDIE
                            (peering out the window)
                          Oh, good, it’s the flower shop.
Blondie opens the door REVEALING a uniformed d e l i v e r y m a n ,
s trugg ling to hold up an odd-looking bouquet.
                                            BLONDIE
                                           What’s this?

                           DELIVERYMAN
                              (straining)
                    Umph. One lug nut, carpet tack
          and drill bit bouquet, lady. Just like you ordered.
The deliveryman p l a c e s t h e b o u q u e t o n a n e a r l b y t a b l e
with a heavy THUD.

                                          DELIVERYMAN
                                 Be careful when you toss it though.
                                      You could kill somebody.

The deliveryman e x i t s . Blondie c l o s e s the d o o r and e y e s th e
strange bouquet. The table collapses, like an accordion,
under its weight.



ON BLONDIE
reacting, then yelling upstairs …..


                                                  BLONDIE
               A l e x a n d e r . . . i n t e r f a ce w i t h B i g M a m a ! P r o n t o !

                                                                                                WIPE TO :

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - WIDE


as workers are co ve r ing the building with w h i p p e d c r e a m and spraying
pink icing out of large hoses. A cement crane i s just completing a neat row of

                                                         33 of 49
large red rosebuds on a ledge. Other workers are arranging tons of flowers
around the front o f the building. Dagwood comes INTO FRAME in the
foreground, l o o k s and reacts.

                                         DAGWOOD
                                         (Pained sigh)

ANOTHER ANGLE

As a different deliveryman approaches Dagwood.

                                         D E L I V E RY M A N
                                         Sign here.


                                         DAGWOOD
                                 W h a t s th i s o n e
                                        '

                                 for?

                                        DELIVERYMAN
                                 C h am p a gn e f o u n ta i n a n d
                                 three crates of baby 's
                                 breath.

Dagwood looks to camera then back at the delivery i n v o i c e . He signs it,
resignedly.


                                            D AGWO O D
                                               Right.

The deliveryman moves OS, as Daisy enters from the same side, eyeing him
and the surroundings curiously.

                                       DAGWOOD
                         Well... th at cinch es it, D aisy. I ' l l j u s t
                         have to return this ring.... huh?

Dagwood pats his empty pocket and r e c o i l s in t e r r o r , l o o k i n g about
f e v e r i s h l y . D a i sy l o o k s I N TO C AM E R A a s D a g wo od r un s O S i n a s e a r c h i n g
frenzy.

                                  DAGWOOD
                     Gasp! the Ring??! Daisy!I lost the
                     ring!!

Daisy reacts in disbelief. He finally gets it!

                                                    34 of 49
                                               DAISY
                                             (No kidding)

                                                                                          DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BUMSTEAD LIVING ROOM

T h e l i v i n g r o o m i s no w l ad e n w i t h s t r a n ge l o o k i n g m e t a l f l o w e r a r r a n g e m e n t s ,
e t c . C o r a s i t s o n t h e c o u c h , s i f t i n g t h r o u g h t h e h a r d w a r e . Blondie paces in front, of
her.

                                              BLONDlE
                                        Cora, this is a t e r r i bl e
                                        mixup. I’ll never be r e a d y
                                              on time now!

                                           CORA
                   Do n t wo rry abo ut that, Blond ie. J u d g i n g f r o m
                          '

                   Julius' face last might... Dagwood won 't make
                          i t to the church on time either.

                                               BLONDIE
                              H e w o n ' t ? Gee... Cora, that
                                    g iv es m e a t e rr if i c id ea.

A s B l o n d i e e y e s Cora, curiously.




                                                                                DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – LATER


W e c o m e i n t o f i n d D a g w o o d s i t t i n g o n a p i l e o f g i r d e r s , l o o k i n g d e j ec t e d
a n d h o p e l e s s . D i t h e rs i s pa c i n g fu r i o u s ly " , h i s c i g a r - l e a v i n g a t r a i l o f s m o k e
everywhere he moves.

                                                       DITHERS
                              B u m s t e a d ! I k n o w t h a t wedding's been on
                                                 your mind a Jot, but...
                              (looks u p a t b u i l d i n g a n d r e a c t s f u r i o u s )
                                      I c i n g s w i r l s o n t h e t e n t h floor?!

                                                 DAGWOOD
                                                   Well…..

                                                             35 of 49
S u d d e n l y a lo ud t r u ck h o r n s o u n d s f r om O S , b o th m e n lo ok i n t h a t
d i r e c t i o n . S F X : D I E SE L HO R N

THEIR ROV.

as a d i e s e l t r a c t o r - t r a i l e r truck p u l l s up to the c o n s t r u c t i o n site.

ON D ITHE RS AND DAGWOOD
reacting.

                                              DITHERS
                          W h a t n o w ? A t r u ck f u l l o f d o i l i e s ? !

B A C K O N D I E SE L TR U C K

B l o n d i e p o k e s h e r h ea d o u t o f th e w i n d o w o f t h e c a b .

                                                  BLONDIE
                                                  H i , h o n ey . . . !

A N G L E O N D A G WO O D AN D D I T H E R S

P A N N I N G W I T H T H E M a s th e y m ov e t o wa r d t r u ck .

                                                  DAGWOOD
                                                 (reacting)
                                                  Huh?

                                                  DITHERS
                          O h , g r e a t ! A t r u c k ful l o f B l o n d i e .




C LO S E O N T RU C K

As Blond ie s teps o ut o f th e cab, d ressed in h er wed d ing g o w n . Sh e h u r r i e d ly
e x p l a i n s t o D a gw o o d , b r u s h i n g p a s t M r . D i t h e r s .

                                                B L O ND I E
                                C o r a t o l d m e y o u w ou l d n ' t g e t t o
                                       the church on time, so...


Blondie moves to the side of the truck and pulls a large l e v e r .
O N T HE T R U C K

A s t h e wh o l e s i d e o f t h e s e m i - t r a i l e r o p ens u p . A n a w n i n g po ps i n t o p l a c e a nd
t h e r e d c a rp e t r o l l s o u t .
                                                             36 of 49
                                                   BLO ND IE (V.0.) ( C o n t . )
                                       . . . w e b r o ug h t t h e c h u r c h t o
                                       you!

I N T E R I O R T R UC K T R A I L E R

W e s e e t h a t i t , i s a re g u l a r w ed d i ng ch a pe l o n w h e e l s . W e s e e a m i n i s t e r ,
a n a ltar, musicians, f l o w e r arrangem ents, caterers, gu e s t s a nd e ve n C o ra ,
h e r s e l f . A l l u n f o l d f ro m th e t r u c k a nd o o ze t o w a r d t h e l o b b y l ik e a b e r s e r k
e c u m e n i ca l t r a n s f o r m e r t o y .

ON DAGWOOD

two m e n r u s h t o D a g w o o d and b e g i n s w i t c h i n g h i m i n t o h i s tuxedo.

WIDEN TO INCLUDE DITHERS

fuming, as an ivy-covered trellice unfolds itself behind him. It catches on the seat of his
pants and lifts him childishly past Dagwood ' s head as he speaks.

                                              DITHERS
                          Bumstead! What's g o i n g o n ?
                          Your first o b l i g a t i o n is to Ferguson!

Dagwood straightens his tie and speaks eye to eye with Dithers.

                                              DAGWOOD
                                           Wrong, Mr. Dithers.

Dithers falls U.S. with a THUD.

                                            DAGWOOD
                             My first obligation is to my wife,Blondie!


Dagwood moves O.S.

ON DITHERS

getting to his feet.

                                                 DITHERS
                                                (threatening)
                                                Bumstead, you 're...
Dithers is suddenly yanked up and O.S.




                                                           37 of 49
ANOTHER ANGLE

Dithers hangs in front of Cora, who is holding him aloft by his tie l i k e a puppy who
wet the carpet.
                                  CORA
                            He's what, Julius?

Dithers clasps his hands in a pray -tell gesture.

                                                DITHERS
                            ... he ' s such a romantic boy. Don ' tcha
                           think Cora? Isn ' t this whole wedding
                           business wonderful?!

                                                                                 DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. FERGUSON BUILDING

 W e s e e t h a t t h e co u rt y a r d o f t h e F e r g u s o n b u i l d i n g h a s b e e n q u i c k l y
 t r a n s f o r m ed i n t o an o u t d o o r w ed d i n g ch ap e l . B l o n d i e a n d D ag w oo d a r e a t t h e
 a l t a r i n t h e c e n t e r o f t h e c o u r ty a rd . C o o k i e a n d A l e x a nd e r a r e o n e i t h e r s id e .
 A l e x a n d e r s e em s t o be w o r k i n g o n s om e th i n g o n a po r t a b l e l ap t o p c om p u t e r .
 A l l o t h e r s a t t e n d i n g are wearing hardhats.

                                     MINISTER
                                  (miffed, already)
                    Ahem, now then, Mr. Bumstead, y o u d o h av e t h e r i n g ?

CLOSE ON DAGWOOD

g u l p i n g n e r v o u s ly a nd s w e a t i ng .

                                                     DAGWOOD
                          U h , w e l l . . . I s o r t o f los t t h e n e w r i n g .

I N C L UD E B L O ND I E
                                                  MINISTER
                                                   (to s el f)
                                                  That figures.

                                                 B L O ND I E
                                 N e w r i n g ? Wh a t n e w r i n g ?

                                                  WILLARD
                                                   Wait!

Dagwood and the oth ers look O.S.

ON WILLARD
                                                              38 of 49
approaching, riding a rickety bicycle. H e we a r s a t u x ed o a nd i s c a r r y i n g
flowers.

                                           WILLARD
                                           Cookie! Wait!

ON COOKIE

Reacting,
                                          COOKIE
                                    Oh, no…it’s Willard

ON WILLARD - PANNING WITH HIM

as he rides up the stairs of the building and directly i n t o the courtyard.
As he does, he inadvertently rides up a wheelbarrow ramp

                                             WILLARD
                                   C o o k i e . . . I want to...

and i n t o a l a r g e b o x c a r - l i k e p o r t a b l e d u m p s t e r f u l l o f c o n s t r u c t i o n
d e b r i s . He d i s a p p e a r s with a SC REEN -SHAKING C RASH, with accom pany ing
SFX.

                                          WILLARD
                                      Wh o a! Y i i i i ! !
ON THE BUMSTEAD S ET. AL. AT THE ALTAR

as th ey r e a c t .

                                           C OO KIE
                                           (a gasp)
                                           Willard...!

                                           DAGWOOD
                                           Hang on,son.

Dagwood rushes OS, f o l l o w e d by Cookie.

O N WILLARD

lying among splintered wood, sections of cement, bent t o o l s and his mangled
bicycle. He sits up, dizzy and dusty.

                                        WILLARD
                                         (dazed)
                       I kno w I can d o b e t t e r n e x t tim e c o a c h .


                                                     39 of 49
WID EN TO INC LUDE D AGWO OD AND CO O KIE

                                             C OO KIE
                                          (embarrassed)
                                       Oh, Willard, you...you...

                                             DAGWOOD
                                             (reacting)
                                       You found the ring!

                                                  COOKIE
                                                  He did?


                                                  WILLARD
                                                    I did?


D a i s y p u s h e s I N T O S C E N E , l o o k s a b o u t , s p o t s s o m e t h i n g O S , and m o v e s O S .

                                        DAISY
                             (Huh ? Where? There! Oh boy.)

ANOTHER ANGLE - DEBRIS

D a i s y m o v e s INTO SCENE n e x t t o a l a r g e , r o u g h l y h e w n b l o c k o f c e m e n t .
S h e e a g e r l y r ea c t s t o t h e r i n g b o x e m b ed d e d i n t o t h e t o p o f t h e c e m e n t b l o c k .

WIDEN

D a g w o o d p i c k s up the c e m e n t b l o c k and p u t s it o n a wheelbarrow.

                                             DAGWOOD
                                     Umph. Thanks, Willard. C 'mon,
                                     Daisy. Let's get on with this wedding.

D a gw oo d sc r am b l e s O U T O F FR A M E w i t h t h e wh e e l b a r r ow . D a i s y
follows.

TWO SHOT - COOKIE AND WILLARD

Cookie comforts the disheveled Willard. He remembers why h e came.

                                                   WILLARD
                               P l e a s e , C o o k i e . . . ! Don ' t get m a r r i e d !




                                                             40 of 49
                                        COOKIE
                                (reacting, sweetly)
                W i l l a r d ! I ' m n o t g e t t i n g m ar r i e d . M y
                parents             are     getting         remarried!
                Remember?

                                     WI LLARD
                              But... you... th ey wha...?
                                (then realizing)

ON COOKIE


considering Willard, smiling for the first time. Cookie h e l p s a shaky Willard to
his feet.



                                     COOKIE
                Y o u m e a n y o u c am e a l l t h e w ay
                d o w n t o s t o p m e f r om g e t t i n g
                married?

ON WILLARD

                                   WILLARD
                             Well, ac tua lly . .. yea.

TWO SHOT

                                   COOKIE
                                   (touched)
                Gee, for a " n e rk " , y o u ' r e k i n d a a w e s o m e .



                                      WILLARD
                                      I am?

Willard takes an unsteady step in the debris, and a large board swings up and
smacks him in the head, knocking him O.S. Peter Sellers fashion. SFX:
CRASH/DEBRIS HIT.

                                      WILLARD
                                     (Calamity walla)

ON WILLARD

Dazed in the rubble as three strands of his hair pop up, w i t h successive
"boings," and stand up "Dagwood style." He's dazed and confused.

                                                 41 of 49
                                   WILLARD
                    Did you want, some fries with that o r d e r ?

COOKIE LEANS INTO SHOT

seeing Willard in a new light. She's smitten.

                                      COOKIE
                                      (giggles)
                                    And cute. too.




BLONDIE AND DAGWOOD

at the altar. The cement block, resting on the w h e e l ba r r ow , si t s n e x t t o
them. The m i n i s t e r a n d the g u e s t s are a l s o visible.

                                       MINISTER
                                       (irritated)
                               Th e r i n g , Mr. Bumstead.

                                           DAGWOOD
                    U h . . . r i g h t . This'l l ju s t take a second.

ON DAGWOOD AND CEMEMT BLOCK

as he produces a jackhammer, puts on a hard hat (Daisy does same) and
begins jackhammering the cement block. As he does, a small dust cloud
forms around him, o b l i t e r a t i n g the block, Dagwood, and D a is y from
v i e w . As the sound e f f e c t s o f the j a c k h a m m e r continue, Dagwood
and Daisy's leg s, hands, and head appear from various par ts of the cloud
and are sucked back in by the f u r i o u s a c t i v i t y within. Fina lly , the
sound stops, and the dust c l e a r s , revealing Dagwood and Daisy, t h e i r
hard hats on s i d e - s a d d l e , and the worse for wear. Daisy holds the
jackhammer. Dagwood has the ring in his hand and moves toward
B l o n d i e . The c o n g r e g a t i o n coughs as the dust f i l t e r s through th ei r
midst.

DAGWOOD/BLONDIE/MINISTER/OTHERS ( c o u g h i n g )

CU - BLONDIE'S RING FINGER

as Dagwood s l i p s the d a z z l i n g r i n g on. B l o n d i e fans h e r f i n g e r s
and highlights dazzle from the gorgeous stone.


                                                42 of 49
                                            BLONDIE (O.S.)
                                            (awestruck)
                                            Oh, Dagwood.

ON GROUP AT ALTAR

                                        GROUP
                                    (Ooohs and aaahs)

as Blondie reacts to the ring, so do they.

                                      BLONDIE
                                      ( t o Dagwood)
                              Nothing w i l l ever get this
                                 ring off my f i n g e r .

                                             ALEXANDER (O.S.)
                                               Dad, Mom?

D a g w o o d a n d B l o n d i e l o o k O . S . , a s A l e x a n d e r r u s h e s i n , l o o k i n g a t the
screen of his laptop computer.

                                            ALEXANDER
                                    I f i n a l l y figured i t out.

The congregation seems puzzled. The minister reacts to y e t
another delay.

                                           MINISTER
                                         (to self,sarcastic)
                                         Oh, I doubt that.

                                           ALEXANDER
                        U h -h uh . T h e m o n ey f o r t h e r i n g a n d
                        the wedding came from the same
                        place.

 ON BLONDIE AND DAGWOOD


 They react to each other, then Alexander.

                                             BLONDIE/DAGWOOD
                                             The Ferguson bonus?

                                           ALEXANDER (OS)
                                    Right. Basically, you spent it twice.


                                                       43 of 49
T h e ir faces react in fear of e c o n o m i c b e d l a m . Then t h e y a r e distracted by
Mr. Dithers.
                                      D I THE RS ( O S )
                                    (Raucous laughter.)

ON DITHERS

In the first row of the cha p e l . D i t h e r s r e a c t s w i l d l y and gleefully to the
information.

                                              DITHERS
                           What? Ha Ha Ha? They spent the b o n u s t w i c e ?
                           T h a t 's a laugh. When Ferguson sees all this,
                           there won't even be a bonus. Ha Ha Hack!

Suddenly, Dithers gags as camera TRUCKS OUT revealing C o r a has grabbed his
t i e . Sh e pulls h is h ead to e y e l e v e l w i t h h e r s .

                                              CORA
                           D o n t fret, Blo nd ie. B ecause Julius i s
                                  '

                           going to give Dagwood a nice double
                           bonus as a wedding gift. Aren't you,
                           Julius?

Cora t i g h t e n s D i t h e r s ' t i e f o r e m p h a s i s . H e t u r n s r e d .

                                           DITHERS
                           ...That s right. Be happy to.
                                       '

                                      Can't wait!

Cora drops him with a THUD.

                                                    MR. FERGUSO N (O .S.)
                                                         Dithers!!!

1NT. LOBBY

As Ferguson enters, grumbling.

                                               FERGUSON
                                             Where are you?

ON DITHERS

Picking himself up from the floor, near Cora. TRUCK OUT AS he reacts in
terror. He ducks behind Cora.

                                                   DITHERS
                                                               44 of 49
                                           (to Cora)
                           ( G a s p ) Egads! It's F e r g u s o n !
                                You've got to hide me!

As Ferguson storms INTO FRAME, looking for Dithers, Cora s t e p s deliberately
to the side, exposing the k n e e l i n g D i t h e r s , who looks up sheepishly.

ON DITHERS

as he crawls on his knees, grabs Ferguson around the l e g s , and pleads with
him.

                                           DITHERS
                                           (groveling)
                       P l e a s e Mr. F e r g u s o n , I can explain.

                                                FERGUSON
                                                 Try me.

                                             DITHERS
                                             (gruff)
                                     It 's Bumstead's fault.



ANOTHER ANGLE

As Ferguson turns toward the Bumsteads. Dagwood smiles.

                                              FERGUSON
                                                (gruff)
                                         It is? Bumstead, this is...

TRUCK OUT

a s a t e am o f T V n e w sp e o p l e r u sh I N T O S C E N E , s e p a r a t i n g F e r g u s o n f r o m
Dagwood, and distracts the big executive.

                                           NEWSMAN
                                       (looking around)
                       The s t a r t o f a b r a n d n e w i m a g e f o r y o u
                        and y o u r company, Mr. Ferguson!

                                               NEWSWOMAN
                       I ’ l l s a y . L o o k . . . h e ' s e v e n d e co r a t e d h i s
                       building to look like a wedding cake!

The newspeople rush to and surround Ferguson . Ferguson r e a c t s ,
bewildered. The newswoman shoves a microphone in his fa c e.
                                                            45 of 49
                                                   NEWSWOMAN
                         Tell us... when did you first think of this
                         "t a s t y " t r i b u t e to the American family??




CLOSER ON FERGUSON

                                               FERGUSON
                                     (puffing his chest up a
                                   bit; very fake humility)
                         Huh? Well...uh...er...we here at Ferguson
                         Inc. are a family... family, neighborhood,
                         c o m m un i t y . T h e s e h av e a l w ay s b e e n o u r
                                    most important values.

ON THE MINISTER

standing at the altar. He reacts to Ferguson's lies, l o o k i n g skyward.

                                               MINISTER
                                               God help us.

ON FERGUSON

as he crosses to Dithers.

                                           FERGUSON
                         Listen, D ith ers...S inc e y ou say th is is
                         all Bum stea d ' s d oing, I t h i n k i t ' s
                         only f a i r that he get your shar e of
                         that fat bonus, as well.

                                               DITHERS
                                               What?!!!
CLOSE ON DITHERS

a b o u t r e a d y t o b o i l , w h e n C o r a l e a n s i n t o s h o t and y a n k s on h i s t i e .

                                       CORA
                             I agree. Don't you, Julius?

                                            DITHERS
                               To o k th e wo rd s righ t, out of m y
                                     windpipe, Dollface.



                                                           46 of 49
ON BLONDIE, DAGWOOD

Ferguson ENTERS SHOT and pats Dagwood on the back.

                                              FERGUSON
                        T h a n k s to y o u r i n g e n u i t y , B u m s t e a d . . .
                        I w a n t t h e J . C . D i t h e r s C o n s t r uc t i o n
                        C o m p an y t o d e s i g n m y n e w b u i l d i n g . . . t h e
                        Ferguson Family Center!

                                               DAGWOOD
                                                You do?

D i t h e r s EN T E R S SC E N E e a t i n g h u m b l e p ie , a n d t r y i ng t o b e p a r t o f t h e g o o d
times, crosses to Dagwood.

                                      DITHERS
                        Great work, Bumstead. Why, I can 't
                        even think of a way to p roperly
                        show my gratitude.




Cora ENTERS and adds her two cents worth.

                                      CORA
                        How about giving him two weeks off
                              for a second honeymoon?

                                          DITHERS
                        W h a t ? (realizing wh o h e ' s dealing w i t h )
                                  Uh, I mean... Good idea!

ANOTHER ANGLE

                                              DAGWOOD
                                       T h a nk s , M r . D i t h e rs .

Cora gives Mr. Dithers a hug and a big kiss on the cheek. He grimaces.

                                            COR.A
                                         Oh, Julius.

O N B LO N D I E AN D D A G W O O D A T T H E AL T A R

                                      B L O ND I E
                        Gee, I don t know what to say, Dogwood.
                                         '


                                                         47 of 49
                                         DAGWOOD
                   I d o n t t h i nk t h e r e i s a n y th i n g l e f t t o
                           '

                                         s ay , h o n e y .

                                          MINISTER (O.S.)
                   A h e m . . . W e l l , I ' d l i k e t o get a w o r d
                                           in edgewise...

Th e Bum stead s turn t o ward the OS voice.

A N O T H ER A N G LE - T H E A L T A R

                                          DAGWOOD/BLONDIE
                                            You would?

                                    MINISTER
                          ( f a c i n g B l o n d i e and D a g w o o d )
                   Uh-huh. I now pronounce you man and w ife.

                                          D AGWO O D/ BLOND IE
                                                  Oh.

                                     MINISTER
                                     ( t o D ag w oo d )
                                You may now kiss the bride.

Dagwood sm iles and k is s es his b r i d e : a p i c t u r e - p e r f e c t postcard for
love and marriage. Crowd cheers.

ON DITHERS

watching the mushy scene.

                                      DITHERS
                     Humph. You'd nev er ca t ch me
                      t r a p p e d in a wedding on a
                     beautifu l Thursday afternoon.

WID EN TO INC LUDE C O RA

She smiles knowingly.

                                CORA
                   Of course not, Julius. Because w e ' r e
                     renewing our vows on a Friday
                             afternoon.
                                                    48 of 49
                           DITHERS
                            What?

                          CORA
                     Next Friday afternoon.

She grabs him by the ear and drags his O.S.

                          DITHERS
                     Ooh! Ug…But…Ah.

They pass Blondie and Dagwood, who break their
embrace and giggle at the Dithers’ antics. They
kiss again and we
                                                  IRIS OUT

                          THE END




                                 49 of 49

				
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