Misc Quotes
Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself. Happiness is felt by making other people happy. You have ONE advantage over me.....you can kiss my ass and I can't!! whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door.... Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon When you lose someone, you realize just how much that person means to you, So maybe its a good thing they're gone. So you can see just how much that person means to you. -Anonymous.
Guys are like port-o-potties. All the good ones are taken and all the bad ones are full of crap! -Anonymous Im a palm reader : Gasp! You'll die, but don't worry. You'll live through it. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" Homer J. Simpson On top of a pickle relish jar: I relish the thought of meeting your buns. "Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous Every 10 seconds a woman is giving birth, she must be found and stoped "Everyday is a gift, thats why they call it the present." "treat everyone the same, till you find out there an idiot" Do I give my friends advice? Jesus, no. They wouldn't take advice from me. Nobody should take advice from me. I haven't got a clue about anything.. " i had the whole world in my hands but i gave it away" "lets toast till we die" "i never need to see the sun again, there enough light in your eyes to light up all the world" There is a light at the end of every tunnel....just pray it's not a train!.
Now you won't talk to me for something I didn't do I pushed it all aside just stand next to you. Save a baby seal...Club a liberal You laugh at me because I'm strange I laugh at you because your stupid! If you dont like my driving stay off the sidewalk life isnt a garden ........ so stop being a hoe. "I hate advice unless I'm giving it" when ya got em' by the balls...their hearts and minds will follow. "i have the answer in my head. i just havent found it yet" "Tradgedy is when i cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks "Even If It Kills Me, I'm Gonna Smile." In a world of nonsense, everything something is, it isn't, everything it would be wouldn't, and everything it wasn't, was. Love will die if held to tightly, love will fly if held to lightly. i am the master of my fate, i am the captain of my soul. GEEKS UNITE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! "The most powerful position is on your knees." People can live one hundred years without really living a minute. Never hire a colorblind electrician. "They mis-underestimated me." -George W. Bush (president) Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey. If everything is coming your way you're in the wrong lane! "reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol "No one is a failure if they have friends" - the angel from It's a Wonderful Life" Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.
"Friend are the flowers in the garden of life" Yesterday was never here and tomorrow will never be but today is a gift that's why they call it 'present'. "No Matter what you do there will be critics." "All that changes in history is the name we give things." -Harry Truman "You never see the bad days in a photo album but it’s those days that get us from one happy snapshot to the next." "There is dignity in suffering; nobility in pain; but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!" "You can't free a bird if it ain't gunna fly. You can't live a life if you don't ask "Why?" "There are people I would take a bullet for and people I would like to put a bullet in." ---Benji (Good Charlotte) "Death is instant, Pain will end, glory is forever" "The power to believe in yourself, is the power to change fate" "We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately" -- Benjamin Franklin Do not envy the one you admire most, instead, try to make yourself one that can be envied "Sinning wouldn't be so popular if it's wages were paid immediately" Everyone has music in them. Only the talented have the ability to share it with the rest of the world "TO PLANT A GARDEN IS TO BELIEVE IN TOMORROW" "If God didn't want me to do it he would have stopped med" "The good news is that you may have created my past and screwed up my present but you have no control over my future." ~ You Don't Know Me, David Klass" Do not envy the one you admire most, instead, try to make yourself one that can be envied -"Love starts with a hug, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear!" -"The lesson is in the struggle, not in the victory!" -"Only those who can see the invisible can do the impossible!"
-"Its ok to kiss a fool, its ok to let a fool kiss you, but never let a kiss fool you!" "Friends are gods ways of apologizing for our families" Life's a garden dig it "You only live once...but if you live it right, once is enough" Only after the last tree has been cut down, only after the last river has been poisoned, only after the last fish has been caught, only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten "If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it"-Jonathan winters. "The best man for a job is a woman"-Ares (from Xena Warrior Princess) "Knowledge talks, wisdom listens" "To control others is to have power, to control yourself is to know the way" - Lao Ma A woman has to work twice as hard as a man to be thought of as half as good. Luckily this is not difficult" II can resist anything but temptation I believe in angels, the Kind that heaven sends ...I'm surrounded By angels, but I call Them my best friends If you do it you’ll regret it, if you don’t do it you’ll regret it, either way your going to regret it, you might as well just do it "If the first grape you eat is bitter then you will not bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one then you will be willing to eat a lot of bitter grapes in search of another sweet one " "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." -Bilbo Baggins (The Fellowship of the Ring: J.R.R. Tolkien) " To see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wildflower . . .hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour . . . " ~William Blakeg "I've been rich and I've been poor… rich is better" Creating success is tough but keeping it is tougher -Pete Roseg
"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet" - Roger Miller "All who wander are not lost." -JRR Tolkien "No amount of sizzle will make a bad steak good." Ashes to Ashes Dust-to-Dust, Life is short so Party We must! Sticks and stones are hard on bones, aimed with angry art words can sting like anything, but silence breaks the heart... -Phyllis mcgenlee "Give up for a second and that is where you will finish." When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. --Alexander Graham Bell Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not. Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not. Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence, determination and hard work make the difference. -- Calvin Coolidge Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? -George Eliot Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us. -- Ben Franklin Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now. -- Goethe What lies before us and what lies beyond us is tiny compared to what lies within us. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. -- Thomas Jefferson Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. -- Carl Jung
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. -- Robert F. Kennedy Friendship with one's self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. -- Eleanor Roosevelt Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. -- George Bernard Shaw ~Resistance drains energy~ ~Acceptance saves it~ ~Cheerfulness sustains it~ -- Anonymous "Money can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with..." "Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies." "You know that the outhouse is in the right place if it seems too close in summer and too far in winter." "When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut." "If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one." "You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them." "If you learn from your mistakes, then why ain't I a genius ?!" "If the shortest distance between two points is a line, why does waiting in a line take so long ?" "I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded: dead." — Woody Allen. "Practice safe eating — always use condiments." "Ingredients as fresh as they were 27 years ago." — Slogan of the Biscuitville restaurant. "Shrimp with assroted vegetables." — Typo on a Chinese restaurant menu. "What happens to the holes when all the cheese has been eaten ?" "If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people." — Jim Eason. "Never eat more than you can lift." — Miss Piggy. "One of life's mysteries is how a 1kg box of candy can make a woman gain 2kg." "It's important to watch what you eat. Otherwise, how are you going to get it into your mouth ?" — Matt Diamond.
"Those who cast the votes decide nothing; those who count the votes decide everything." -- Joseph Stalin "To love someone is to see him as God intended him" --Fydor Dostoyevsky Two words that guys hate...don’t & stop...unless you put them together Being pessimistic makes you a less hopeful person, but almost always a correct one. - Andy Bodine "Love is like a war, easy to begin, hard to end" "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down to us. Pigs treat us as equals." -Winston Churchill "Sometimes your the dog, sometimes your the hydrant" "I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it." "The only two things I don't eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner." "A Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer is to computing what a McDonalds Certified Food Specialist is to fine cuisine." "Remember when American moms used to tell their kids to finish dinner because children were starving in Africa ? Well, thanks a lot, Mom — Africans are still starving and American kids are obese." — Larry Baum. All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening." — Alexander Woollcott. "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant ? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner." — Lynda Montgomery. "The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it." "I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people." — Ed Bluestone. "My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like — just don't swallow it." — Harry Secombe (1921- ), welsh singer, actor, and comedian. "Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards ??" "The devil came to me last night and asked what I wanted in exchange for my soul. I still can't believe I said pizza. Friggin' cravings." — Marc Ostroff. "I think they should put a warning label on strawberries: 'Caution: tastes
nothing like a strawberry milkshake'." — Ryan Kaplan. "Give a man food, and he can eat for a day. Give a man a job, and he can only eat for 30 minutes on break." — Lev L. Spiro "Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education." — Mark Twain. "I can't believe you can get banned from a bakery for mispronouncing 'focaccia' !" — Hikeeba. "The journey of a thousand pounds begins with a single burger." — Chris O'Brien "A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand." "Last week I ate a 5th Avenue bar on 5th Avenue while little kids eating Snickers bars snickered at me. It was probably that whole 'irony' thing." — John Gephart "Food is an important part of a balanced diet." — Fran Lebowitz (1950- ), US writer "Some breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops." — Frank Muir (1920- ), British writer and broadcaster. "A converted cannibal is one who, on Friday, eats only fishermen." — Emily Lotney. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." "If it screams, it's not food... yet." "Give me liberty or... OOOooo... A jelly donut !" — Homer Simpson "Just because something's toxic doesn't mean it's not tasty." — Matthew J. Siske "If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry ?" "What's the greatest worldwide use of cowhide ? To hold cows together." "Save the whales — collect the entire set." "The only two things I don't eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner." "I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it." "The only two things I don't eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner." "I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it."
"The only two things I don't eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner." "I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it." "The only two things I don't eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner."