CARMEN MILES [Georgie Porgie/Construction Worker] Carmen comes to Panto fresh from starring in the controversial musical Seven Brides for One Brother. She likes peanuts and hopes one day to have a sidekick called Harry Hummingbird. SHARON TAN Hollywood, here I come! [Humpty Dumpty/PantoSoc Props]
MAX PERCY [Tommy Tucker/Pied Piper/Cowboy] Thanks to Mr and Mrs Percy for making it all happen. Big ups also to my main man J-Lim and Su-lyn, my big bowl of rice. Salsa 'til I die! JOSH GOLDSMITH [Hairy Godmother/Focus Group/Cleaner/Russell Crowe/PantoSoc Props-Sets] They asked for a few words from each of us, so here you go: strawberry, box, cup, paper, hammer, NO, I take hammer back, you can keep the rest. PENNY GOLDSMITH [Azaria/PantoSoc Secretary/PantoSoc Props-Sets] 2nd cousin, twice removed (by the police), of Steve Irwin, Penny a.k.a Azaria dreams of starting her own Australia Zoo one day. Panto Soc seemed a logical step in that plan, hanging out with a bunch of crazy animals until all hours of the night! ASHLEE FINCKH [Aurora/PantoSoc Producer/PantoSoc Props] A simple country girl, Ashlee joined PantoSoc looking for warmth, comfort and support. Instead she found sarcasm, cardboard and bruised knees, which are just as good, though not as nurturing. RICHARD HERRMANN [Shazza] Cup of tea in one hand, padded bra in the other, Richard was the one given the solemn and sacred task of gender impersonation. This foxymoron takes his role very, very, seriously. MATT COOPER [Wee Willie Winkie/Bikie] A seasoned veteran of the silver stage, this kind, loving, respectful, and most courteous cabbage has released the reigns of power and taken a back seat in this performance so as to allow the new talent to shine. With a shining aura and an immense package, this man has many titles, in fact too many to mention here. Let it just be known to those that watch this play then – to stay in school! MATT SECKEL [Hansel/PantoSoc Props/PantoSoc Makeup] There once was a man from Ohio Who could not write a good bio He came from the States His loving is great Even if his acting is so-so SARAH KEENAN [Zombie Princess Died/Sheep/PantoSoc Props] Sarah auditioned for Panto in a daze, still confused by the fact that we are in Australia and therefore upside down – how do we not fall off?? Soon to be sent back from whence she came, but not before perfecting the art of the Zombie. Grr Arrg! GLYNN SIMPSON [Little Boy Blew/Indian] Glynn Simpson‟s Adonis-like figure put him in perfect place for the lead role in this Pantomime, but his plans for world domination would clash with such a busy schedule. It‟s so hard to find real-estate in a hollowed out volcano underneath the ocean in a remote part of the world…He isn‟t particularly fond of walks in the rain, because that‟s how you catch the sniffles (honestly, such a silly thing really). He doesn‟t mind the odd pina colada or two, and his favourite colour is green, no wait, blue- arrhhhhhhhhh!!!! LIAM O‟DOHERTY [Prince Roy/Traffic Cop/PantoSoc Props] Often found watering the warm hide of his lactating rhinocerous, Priscilla. She is a beautiful beast that loves a warm shower and her lactate produces a most divine custard. CLAIRE BISSETT [Tweedle Dumb/Village Survivor/PantoSoc Props] After receiving critical acclaim for her performance in the West End production of "Who's Your Daddy?" Claire hung up her leather g-string, nipple tassels and mechanical bull to test her refined acting skills in her first Panto production. Here you'll see her skills put to the test after she was told to keep her clothes on for both of her characters....... DANI BARRINGTON [Eddie/PantoSoc Prez/PantoSoc Producer/PantoSoc Props-Sets] 8 from 6 – pretty good statistics! [love it – Ed]
CANDII MABERLY [Tweedle Dumber/Lesbian Bartender/Ninja 1/Security/PantoSoc Director] Has sent out the challenge to George Lucas and Mel Brooks…..DRINK OFF!! Naturally, she‟ll show them who‟s boss when it comes to knocking back brewskis. May the Schwartz be with her. RACHELLE KEARNEY [Old Woman/Voiceovers/PantoSoc Prez of Vice] Rachelle has been dimension-hopping from one parallel universe to another for four years now in an attempt to escape the Pantomime virus, but it seems that no matter what realm she emerges in, the contagion has already spread. Flee now, before you are infected and possessed by the urge to caper about ridiculously on stage in front of large audiences! Oh and by now, I meant after the show (of course!) JOSH VEITCH [Ninja 2/PantoSoc „CGi‟] In a past life Josh was crazy like a fox, or perhaps he was a crazy fox. Either way the past is beginning to repeat itself. In the future he would like to stop referring to himself in third person. Oh yes he would. RACHEL LAMB [Studio Exec 1/Centrelink Heavy 1/Palace Lackey] (20, Law) Dreaming as if I'll live forever, living as if I'll die today. KARSTEN JACKSON [PantoSoc Stage Manager/PantoSoc Web Wench/PantoSoc Props-Sets] Touch my ropes, and I WILL kill you! NATHAN CERA [King Jack/PantoSoc Backstage] After discovering that Law is about as fun and exciting as watching paint dry Nathan decided to join Panto. It has been quite fun but also time consuming and stressful. [what stress?? lol – Ed] If it weren't for the Cast and Crew I doubt I would have had as much fun as I did. You guys are cool! NATALIE DI RISIO [Bambi/PantoSoc Choreographer] After escaping from the terrors of guam and genetically modified as a deer, riddled with scurvy, this childhood prodigy dreamed of sex, drugs and rock n' roll. Instead she entered a parallel universe named PANTO! OMG!!! (SFX scary music) AMY POLLITT [Mary] Getting lost on the way to the……., Amy stumbled into the Nursery Rhyme Princess: UNCUT auditions. As she was adamantly disgruntled, they typecast her as the frigid bitch Mary STACY GRAVELLE [Schapelle/Child 1/Sheep/PantoSoc Props] Joined Panto on a whim for the first time last semester, and got sucked into this one. A product of a science experiment gone amiss, she loves cave splunking, falling into big holes, and she “knows how the live the high life!” MELISSA HETHERINGTON [Toyoda/Random Bar Person/Sheep/PantoSoc Props/PantoSoc Backstage] Emerging for the first time from her shoebox in college, this country girl with homicidal tendencies and a schizophrenic paintbrush cleans up to make a nice dead body. And we‟re back to the killing! AMANDA ALLAN [Ninja 4/PantoSoc Backstage/PantoSoc Props] She lurks behind stage looking for the green fairy while constantly annoying the cast about purple elephants and blue mushrooms… According to unknown sources she was last seen in upstate New York not voting for George W. Bush. KAT GLEDHILL [Boom/PantoSoc Props] The best damn boom operator this Pantomime has ever seen [assuming she‟s the first], this former country girl is hoping to find a solution to her unhealthy co-dependency with her boom. Giggidy giggidy. SARAH JOY LEWIS [Gretel Kitten/PantoSoc Props-Sets] One day, Sarah got high and just sort of wandered off… With a penchant for debauchery and a sense of the absurd, this stray returns to the stage after 5 years of disturbing strangers with her random rants and bizarre behaviour. Sarah loves to dance and sleep – her favourite colour is green. JO INNES [Ariel] Darling it‟s better…down where it‟s wetter. GOPHER [Andrew G-Had/Shane Warne/PantoSoc Sound FX] In the name of the Grey Gander.
LAURIE ORMOND [Mother Goose/Focus Group/Sheep/PantoSoc Lighting FX] Some rhyming scenes she got to write, Then suddenly she learned to light, It‟s hard to rig a stage so bright So isn‟t she a clever wight? But should the laughs come to a halt – Rhymes cause the audience to bolt The lights go out – she‟s not the dolt No, in that case, it‟s all Scott‟s fault. SCOTT MURRAY [PantoSoc Lighting FX] Sleep. Need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. ANNE FINCH [Little Bro Peep/Focus Group/Napoleon/PantoSoc Treasurer] The offspring of an alcoholic dwarf and a cabbage, Anne hopes one day to be accepted by the society in which she lives. Failing that, she hopes that the rest of the miscreants that constitute PantoSoc will take the focus off her horrendous abnormalities and enable her to live in relative peace and quiet. HANNAH BARRINGTON [PantoSoc Costumes, PantoSoc Backstage/PantoSoc Props] Joining us for her first Panto, we hope she returns as she‟s excellent in the costume department! HOWIE CHIN [PantoSoc Backstage, PantoSoc Props] Another first timer, we hope he stays on as part of the team as his backstage work is tops. ALBERT KURNIADI [Studio Exec 2/ Giant Fork/Centrelink Heavy 2/Palace Lackey/Boom Assistant] Asia‟s answer to Orlando Bloom, Albert loves toasting marshmallows by the fire. Innocent and 100% lovable, [yes bobby, I am!] he is still waiting for a saucy spoon to stir his lonely heart. MELISSA FEDERICO [Mercedes/Water Feature/Applause-o-meter/Sheep] She is Asia‟s answer to Orlando Bloom, except she is not Asian and not a guy. Loves making “something else” by the fire. She is sexy and 100% available, desperate for a good fork. AMY WILLIAMS [Queen Jill] So I didn‟t get to be one of the princesses, but hey, I‟m totally fine with that now. I think they‟re going to do a really great job! I mean I have to admit before I would have loved to see one of them fall over, and rip up their dresses, maybe smash up their faces… just a little bit. It‟s all friendly rivalry though, you know, all in jest! But for the record, I have the best dress. JEMMA GROEN [Camera] Jemma‟s acting career took off when she ran over several small children, and Chuck Norris, doing 120km/hr in a school zone. Chuck Norris snapped her car in two with a roundhouse kick, before counselling her that maybe she should take up something less likely to lead to the loss of children‟s lives. She now acts in Pantomimes, and is the sole reason we have a 15+ rating in our shows… [thanks Glynn ] IVO VEKEMANS [Spiderman/Ninja 3/Hot Model/PantoSoc Biscuit Wench] Scientific Name: Hyper Non-stopus Ivo is a fighting, sewing, comic book reading, hyperactive, shameless, cross-dressing eccentric. With more idiosyncrasies than 13 year olds text messaging, Ivo dreams of one day running a pub made entirely of jelly, called „The Wobbly‟. IAN LIM [Little Jack Horny/Sailor/PantoSoc Biscuit Wench] There once was a boy, who lived in the sky He defied gravity, he didn‟t know why So off he goes to become a Pokemon Master But ended up doing Panto. It was quite a disaster Be wary of Ian, who gels his hair every morning For he plays a character named Little Jack Horny.
Prince Roy/Traffic Cop Georgie Porgie/Construction Worker Eddie Maguire Hansel Gretel Kitten Shazza Bambi Mary Azaria Aurora/Bambi‟s Mum Ariel Hairy Godmother/ Russell Crowe/ Cleaner Schapelle/Child/Sheep Mercedes/Water Feature/Little Miss Muffet/ Child/Sheep/Applause-o-meter Toyoda/Random Bar Person/Village Corpse/ Sheep Tommy Tucker/Pied Piper/Cowboy Little Boy Blew/Indian Wee Willie Winkie/Bikie Little Jack Horn-y/Sailor Mother Goose/Focus Group/Sheep Tweedle Dumb/Village Survivor Little Bro Peep/Focus Group/Napoleon Channel 9 ¾ Studio Exec 1/ Centrelink Heavy 1/Palace Lackey Channel 9 ¾ Studio Exec 2/Giant Fork/ Centrelink Heavy 2/Palace Lackey Old Woman [Who Lived In A Shoe]/ Ugly Duckling voice Queen Jill King Jack Humpty Dumpty Boom Camera Andrew G-Had/Shane Warne Tweedle Dumber/Lesbian Bartender/ Ninja 1/Security Zombie Princess Died/Sheep Spiderman/Ninja 3 Ninja 4/Village Corpse Ninja 2 Liam O‟Doherty Carmen Miles Dani Barrington Matt Seckel Sarah Joy Lewis Richard Herrmann Natalie Di Risio Amy Pollitt Penny Goldsmith Ashlee Finckh Jo Innes Josh Goldsmith Stacy Gravelle Melissa Federico Melissa Hetherington Max Percy Glynn Simpson Matt Cooper Ian Lim Laurie Ormond Claire Bissett Anne Finch Rachel Lamb Albert Kurniadi Rachelle Kearney Amy Williams Nathan Cera Sharon Tan Kat Gledhill Jemma Groen Stephen „Gopher‟ Whitely Candii Maberly Sarah Keenan Ivo Vekemans Amanda Allan Josh Veitch
Director Producers Stage Manager Lighting Sound Backstage Candii Maberly Dani Barrington, Ashlee Finckh Karsten Jackson Scott Murray, Laurie Ormond, Anna Greble, Josh Veitch Stephen „Gopher‟ Whitely Amanda Allan, Hannah Barrington, Nathan Cera, Howie Chin, Anne Finch, Penny Goldsmith, Melissa Hetherington, Candii Maberly Penny Goldsmith, Josh Goldsmith, Karsten Jackson, Sharon Tan, Ashlee Finckh, Matt Seckel, Sarah Keenan, Liam O‟Doherty, Sarah Joy Lewis, Dani Barrington, Claire Bissett, Stacy Gravelle, Amanda Allan, Melissa Hetherington, Hannah Barrington, Kat Gledhill, Howie Chin Hannah Barrington Dani Barrington, Ashlee Finckh Natalie Di Risio Matt Seckel, Anne Finch
Costumes Co-ordinator Advertising Choreographer Makeup
Nursery Rhyme Princess: UNCUT written by… Dani Barrington, Penny Goldsmith, Josh Goldsmith, Laurie Ormond, Stephen „Gopher‟ Whitely
El Presidente President of Vice Sexretary Treasurer Web Wench Biscuit Wenches Dani Barrington Rachelle Kearney Penny Goldsmith Anne Finch Karsten Jackson Ian Lim Ivo Vekemans James Wallis Isabel Mostyn
Composed by Candii Maberly [definitely not done in the hours before Opening Nite…tee hee]
Many Thanks to…
Josh Mazeurek – for getting us paint free of charge Jade Lightbody – for her amazing poster work Sarah Booth – for her sensational painting prowess Anna Greble – for fantastic work as part of the Lighting FX team Joey Trethowan – for the loan of her video camera Emily – for recording the show Kaz Publicity Daddy Barrington Dad Ormond „Saint‟ Don Allen John „The Legend‟ Doyle The marvellous Staff at Uni Theatres – thanks for all the wonderful assistance James Carter, The Fabric Printer – brilliant shirts, the best production shirts yet! Worldwide Printing, West End, 976 Hay St, Perth City Kwik Kopy, St Georges Tce – wonderful work with various print jobs + our programmes Memory Lane – 768 Beaufort St, Mt Lawley Showbits – Shop 44, Carillon City, 684 Hay St, Perth City Ushers/ticket seller helpers: Kate, Andrea, Rachel, Jim, Sarah, Daniel, Kamari, Donald Full Moon, Christmas Island – our principal sponsor UWA Student Guild
Everyone‟s Mums – Happy Mother‟s Day from all of us at PantoSoc
Random Bios What’s a Panto?
Our Society is based on the traditional British Pantomime, or Panto and is what occurs when an ambitious, adventurous, acting/singing/dancing group of outrageously funny and incredibly modest people parody fairytales, nursery rhymes and contemporary stories. Pantos are audience-interactive and we encourage verbal banter with the Panto Players on stage. Common Panto „call outs‟ are, “He‟s behind you!”, “Oh no he‟s not!”, “Oh yes he is!” – I think you can take it from there. Sit back and enjoy the fun-filled ride as we present our 6th original spoof, live + brilliant…
Our humour isn‟t intended to offend, please appreciate our antics are all in the name of jest! Some of the content of this production may prove hazardous to your health and we advise counteracting potential unwanted side effects with alcoholic beverages during the interval
Nursery Rhyme Princess: UNCUT
Scenes… 1 2 3 4 5 5a 6 7 8 8a 9 10 11 And Now For Something Completely Different Prologue On the set of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire At The Castle Trial One: The Pied Piper Princesses Pose The Royal Formerly Known as Prince in the Forest Forest of Arden Survivor The Prince and the Handbag Little Miss Muffet encounters a Spider The Plot Thickens The Sheep Stealing Scene The Corny Village Scene
Scenes… 12 13 14 The Flashback Scene The Quintessential Panto Bar Scene The Ruined Village
14a The Mole 15 16 17 Backyard Blitz The Plot Almost Curdles The Political Rant Scene
17a Raising the Dead 18 19 In the Dressing Room FINALE
7:30pm Thurs 11, Fri 12, Sat 13 May 2006
If you enjoyed our show and would like to be part of our next production, then check out our website and/or send us an email. We welcome new members regularly Be part of the fun if you‟re into writing – acting – singing – dancing – painting – props – backstage – sound – lighting – producing – directing – biscuit-wenching… it‟s all good and PantoSoc wants YOU!!!
Proudly supported by
UWA Pantomime Society proudly presents…
Mary had a little skirt With splits right up the sides And every time that Mary walked The boys could see her thighs. Mary had another skirt Twas split right up the front …but she didn‟t wear that one often.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet Her clothes all tattered and torn It wasn‟t a spider that crept beside her But Little Boy Blew and his horn. Simple Simon met a pieman, going to the fair Said Simple Simon to the pieman, “What have you got there?” Said the pieman unto Simon, “Pies, you dickhead.”
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All King Jack‟s horses and all King Jack‟s men said, “F*** him, he‟s only an egg.” Georgie Porgie puddin‟ n pie Kissed the girls and made them cry When the boys came out to play He kissed them too cos he was gay.
Jack + Jill went up the hill To have some hanky panky Silly Jill forgot her pill And now, there‟s little Frankie.