Conundrums If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter? If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? What do you call a male ladybug? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why are there Interstates in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited? Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work? If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight? If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM? Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny" for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. If they develop a supersonic train, will they give it a whistle? Do fish ever get thirsty? If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed? Why don't ducks duck when you shoot at them? Why does breaking a mirror mean seven years of bad luck when seven is a lucky number?? If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought? If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy? Why do the numbers on the phone go one way, but the numbers on the calculator go the other way? Is it possible to do stand-up comedy sitting down? If dinosaurs had sores.........what would they be called? Why does the label on children’s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when it's for CHILDREN!? Why do they call front seat shotgun? When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not? Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan? If the energizer bunny attacks someone, is he charged with battery? If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible? Is atheism a non-prophet organization? Are there female leprechauns? Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light? Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together? If water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator? If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind? What color does a smurf feel when they are down? If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government? If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you? If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren't you being judgmental yourself? How come no matter what color the liquid is the froth is always white? Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane? Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? How did the headless horseman know where he was going?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation? How fast do hotcakes sell? If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair? Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice"? What do you call a female daddy long legs? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year? Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest? Is the fear of flying groundless? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Do sore thumbs really stick out? How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter? Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes? Where does the white go when the snow melts? If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist? If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse? How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney? I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? Did Adam and Eve have navels? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause? If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation? If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"? There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?