Elance_BENEFIT

							***Sales copy 101, features tell, benefits sell. Here are a few of the many benefits I elaborate on in this copy. You’re
getting a chance to see how a copywriters’ mind works***



Let me tell you why I think this is so fantastic. And why you must choose The Total
Parrot Makeover before all other options available.

First and foremost you get to…


                                           Learn From
                                         What I Have Done
Fourteen years, two months, 12 days and four hours. That’s how much time I
invested into ensuring Wilma is a healthy, trusting, trick-trained companion that
won’t bite, squawk, feather pluck, poop or destroy expensive furniture, and Talks
More Than Jay Leno Of The Tonight Show…

Not to mention, $13,847.23 on internet marketing courses, bird behavior
consultants and avian veterinarians. That’s how I know most of them are only
trying to make a quick buck! They really don’t want to help the true bird enthusiast.

But The Total Parrot Makeover is a winner. It’s simple, yet comprehensive and
through. It’s as reliable as God’s sunrise. It’ll answer your toughest questions
about bird behavior, health, diet, fitness, and how to help your bird adjust to your
modern home.

So why wouldn’t you adhere to my wisdom and learn from my mistakes?

I’ve pissed in the wind and stepped in every pitfall for you. I’ve made nine of 10
mistakes that anyone could possible ever make when taming a parrot.

Literally.

It’d be quite foolish for you to go out and try to do this yourself, after I’ve already
done the work for you, don’t you think?

But if you’re extra skeptical, you can always spend fourteen years, two
months, 12 days and four hours searching, hunting down and finding your
own answers (if you ever find them at all). Or you can waste $13,847.23, on
internet marketing courses, bird behavioral consultants and avian veterinarians that
just want to steal your money.

Or if you’d like an imitation, just type “how to train a bird” into google.com and
select a course at random…I’m sure that’ll work!

But if you’d like to ensure your success then just follow my lead while I show you
how to have a deep relationship with your companion parrot.
                          No Loud Unnatural
                         Repetitive Screaming
Wilma doesn’t scream, squawk and shatter my ear drums anymore. No more
unnatural, unwanted chatter at all times of the night.

I wish someone would have told me that birds are rarely quite for more than a few
seconds. Wilma used to make noise all day. At first, it was cute and adorable, but
after the 6th or 7th year, it started driving me up the wall.

I used to think ‘What I wouldn’t give to sleep late on the weekends. Can’t I just get
one morning off?’ You see, I’m just like you…

…I thought it would be great to have a talking companion, but not at 6AM
on Sunday morning.

Oh, and I didn’t answered my house phone for 5 years because I couldn’t tell if it
was the phone or Wilma. I kept answering the phone only to get a dial tone (as a
result, my cell phone bill had gone through the roof). But now that I’ve learned
exactly how to treat Wilma, she doesn’t scream, squawk or mimic the phone ringing
anymore.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s natural for birds to vocalize. Why would mother
nature give them amazing voices if she didn’t expect them to use them? A birds
vocation, avocation, occupation and hobby is to communicate…

…but not at earsplitting levels all during the day. So I’ve trained Wilma how and
when to communicate. And I’ve set appropriate volume levels for the household.
Now she doesn’t wake me up in the morning, keep me awake at night and squawk
all during the day at glass shattering levels.


                               No More Biting
Wilma doesn’t bite me anymore. But it’s taken me years to discover why. You see,
some birds bite out of fear and mistrust (there are other reasons). So if you don’t
have a trusting, respectful, loving relationship with your bird, you’ll get bitten. And
you can’t avoid it, so your frustration and the hole in your pocket is only going to
get bigger.

Because depending on the severity of the bite, you may end up like me on
Valentines Day…
…waiting in the emergency room for an overworked, underpaid intern that
lives on Starbucks coffee…

…shakes like a wild chimpanzee and focuses more on the nurse’s breasts
than my throbbing finger (nearly making me overdose on pain killers!)

And that’s not all. Guess what happened to my friends in Birmingham, Alabama
when they were trying to…

Solve their bird’s bad behavioral problems…

You guessed it. After, spending $1,267.12 on an avian veterinarian and another
$681.33 on an “expert bird behavioral consultant”, their African Grey “Golden
Pearl” shattered Martha’s pinky finger with her beak.

So my 46 year old friend, wasted six days, 14 hours and 23 minutes on
veterinarian and consultant fees, plus the financial investment of $1948.45, and
still had a mischievous parrot.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worst, when she yanked her finger
from “Pearls” mouth…

…she threw her back out, slipped a disc and the last time I checked…

…has spent $12,027.11 visiting her local doctor of chiropractic. And once you start
visiting a chiropractor…you’ll never stop.

So to sum it all up for you, her untamed, untrained, macaw cost her an estimated:

      $1,267.12 for an avian veterinarian
      $681.33 for an expensive bird behavioral consultant
      Six days, 14 hours and 23 minutes in waiting time
      $35 in gas mileage to and from her doctor’s office
      Four medical doctor visits with a $10 co-pay per visit
      Two x-rays
      And 23 visits to her doctor of chiropractic totaling $12,027.11 so far with
       an estimated $2,000 still due in the next 6 months.

And it all started because she didn’t have a trusting, respectful, loving relationship
with her bird….in other words, she needed a “Total Parrot Makeover”.

Her bird, “Golden Pearl” didn’t have the proper guidance. She’s grumpy, untamed,
loud, destructive, aggressive, and honestly just not very friendly.

Her bites are blood drawing, gruesome and unforgiving….
…but after I spent only a few days with Pearl using my “Total Parrot Makeover”
techniques, she was running towards me like an Olympic gymnast, craving for
attention and eating from the palm of my hand….

And I’m just a housewife and mother of three, not an expensive bird behavioral
consultant or an avian veterinarian!