69 Secrets To A Stress Free Life

							          69 Secrets To A
          Stress Free Life
Congratulations on taking the first step to a Stress-Free life!!!

Here are 69 ideas that I have used personally and with my clients to make
beneficial changes in our lives. I encourage you to take a look at all the
ideas. The ones you feel the most resistance to or feel a waste of time are
the ones that you may benefit greatly from. They may help you to grow
personally in ways you have yet to consider. Some of the ideas may feel
strange and not things you would usually do, yet I really encourage you to
give them a go. These changes will take time and it’s okay to work on one
idea at a time.

Be your best

Wendy Hearn
Success Coach


Wendy Hearn Coaching
Midsummer Court, 314 Midsummer Boulevard,
Central Milton Keynes. MK9 2UB

Tel: UK (01908) 357899                     Fax: UK 01908 357898

e-mail: wendy@Business-Personal-Coaching.com

http://www.Business-Personal-Coaching.com

                      Copyright  1998-2001 Wendy Hearn
1     Take 5 minute breaks regularly throughout your day. Sit or walk on
your own and relax, breathe deeply and feel peaceful. You will feel more
relaxed and not so overwhelmed, increasing your level of concentration
and ability to achieve more, in less time.



2      Use the words “Would you…” when asking for things. For example,
“Would you look after my plants while I am on holiday?” You are more
likely to achieve a ‘yes’ as the other person is left feeling capable and
having a choice rather than being told to what to do.



3      Take time for yourself on a regular basis. Perhaps you might take a
long bath, read, have quiet time alone or whatever feels good for you. You
will be feel good about yourself and more relaxed and energised to enjoy
your life more fully.



4     Arrive 10 minutes early for every work and personal appointment.
You will have time to feel relaxed, prepare yourself and to show respect for
the other person’s time.



5     Follow your spontaneous impulses. If you feel like going to the beach
and playing in the water… Go for it!! It’s a wonderfully light and joyful way
to experience your life and open yourself up to new opportunities.



6     Understand your financial position accurately. Make time and commit
this to paper… How much is your income? What are your expenses
exactly? How much are you saving? Knowing these facts will free up your
energy to make more effective choices for yourself.
7     Clear up things that you’re putting up with. Make a list of them…
upsets with family and friends, unfinished work, broken household items….
and then communicate with, complete, fix or do whatever it takes for you to
handle these. You will free up mental space and release your energy for
more worthwhile things.



8     Try new activities. Each week or month choose something you
wouldn’t usually think of doing, such as, salsa dancing, camping, wind-
surfing. New experiences will open you up to enjoy life more fully and to
explore your true potential.



9     Write in your journal every day. Find a time that works best for you,
maybe first thing in the morning or last thing at night and write about your
thoughts, feelings, ideas, stressful situations….       You will safely explore
and clarify your life and priorities, enabling you to make choices and to take
action based around these.



10          Communicate your feelings using the statement
“I feel…..” Such as, “I feel unimportant when you don’t telephone me
during the day”. You will feel less conflict as you are owning your feelings
and talking about the other person's behaviour, not them personally.



11          Plan a fun activity every day. It can be for just 5 minutes or as
long as you want such as watching a comedy, dancing, a water-pistol fight
with friends…. You will have something to look forward to each day,
keeping fun and balance in your life.
12           Connect with young children. Talk, chat, play, explore and
have fun with them. Children help to maintain your sense of reality, keep
life events in proportion and allow you to see life through their excited eyes.



13             Smile at people. Whether you are in a queue, meeting
someone, having a conversation…. smile and you will feel friendlier and
more approachable. Smiling is very relaxing on your body and you will feel
brighter, lifting your spirits and other peoples.



14          Listen to your favourite music regularly. The music could be
soothing, uplifting, relaxing, inspirational, fun…. and chosen to meet an
emotional experience or need that you’re looking for at that moment. If
there’s tension between you and your children, playing some upbeat music
and dancing around can lighten you all up.



15        Ask yourself, “What have I learned today?” Perhaps it's that
you can be a supportive partner, live your life at a slower pace, follow your
heart…. You will be amazed at what you learn every day and having this
awareness provides the opportunity to make changes.



16         Learn to be comfortable with feeling bored. When you feel
bored and find yourself with some space - relax! You will be more open to
new opportunities and trust in great things happening in your life, reducing
the pressure you put on yourself.
17      Take time to dream. Whether it's about writing a book, starting a
business, travelling the world…. Keep the dream alive by thinking about it,
visualising it, feeling it… Dreaming allows you to really see and explore
what you desire and will inspire you to be your best.



18         Explore and experience your feelings fully. For example, when
you feel sad allow yourself to be sad rather than try to pick yourself up and
pretend it doesn’t manner.            It’s okay to feel sad, happy,
frustrated……accepting your feelings rather than fighting them helps you to
know where in your life to make changes and reduce stress.



19          Quiet your mind at least once a day. Concentrate on your
breathing and let all of your thoughts go. You will then be able to listen
fully to what your body is telling you and act more on your intuition and
what’s right for you.



20          Express gratitude to yourself and other people. Every day think
of and share 3 things that you’re grateful for “I am grateful for my health.”
“I appreciate how you care about me.”…...         Your life and attitude will
improve when you focus on the things that work for you and feel good now.



21          Practice the skill of   listening fully. Keep quiet, concentrate your
attention on the other person       solely, ask questions to find out more and
count to 5 before responding.        You will learn more about the other person
and their situation and can         prevent stressful misunderstandings from
developing.
22         Handle a procrastination today. For example, enrol for the
course that you keep meaning to get round to and feel a little fearful of
doing. You will be supporting yourself in doing what you really want to do
and confirm that action overcomes procrastination.



23         Celebrate your achievements often. Celebrating will help to
keep you motivated and can be a meal, flowers or a gift of your choice.
Recognising and thanking yourself reminds you what’s great in your life
and while you’re enjoying yourself you’re less likely to feel stressed.



24          Spend less money than you earn. This is a tough one for many
people and if you need to make cutbacks to achieve this, do it today!! You
will create mental space and energy while being free from financial worries.



25          Ask people to help you. Choose 3 things today that you can
receive help with and ask for it. You will have less to cope with and get
done, can stop being a hero who does it all and leave the other person
feeling important with a sense of responsibility.



26          Express your creativity. Spend time singing, writing, drawing,
thinking, painting…… Everyone is creative and discovering a way to
express this will be relaxing and inspiring to you.



27         Exercise. Choose a level and an amount that feels right for
you, which could start with a 5 minute walk and build up from there.
Exercising will help to relieve your stress and will leave you feeling great
about yourself.
28          Get sufficient sleep.    The amount of sleep required by
individuals varies and so check with yourself when you wake up in the
morning whether you feel tired or energised and vary your amount of sleep
accordingly. You will feel refreshed, mentally alert and at your most
capable to deal with and enjoy your day fully.



29           Eat healthy and nutritious food. You might try choosing fresh
fruit at times in preference to high sugar foods. When you eat healthily you
are giving your body the best and this will leave you with more energy,
valuing and caring for yourself properly.



30           Clean up your work space. Such as, find a way to eliminate the
piles of paperwork. Working in an environment that is clean and organised
will free up your mind and reduce distractions for you. When our space
feels cluttered it leads to our mind feeling cluttered.



31          Create boundaries. Boundaries reflect what other people can
or cannot do or say to you, for instance, “I am only able to listen to you
when you speak calmly without shouting”. This will leave you feeling
protected from hurtful situations.



32            Manage yourself rather than your time. You cannot change
time yet you can make changes to yourself by organising yourself, setting
priorities, taking responsibility…. When you manage yourself you will have
more time to create the life you really want.
33          Refrain from using “can’t”. For example, “I can’t get out of bed
in the morning”- really! “I can’t help with the washing-up”- you can. It may
be that you are choosing to do something else and if that’s the case, then
say that. When you replace “can’t” with a fuller explanation you start to
communicate and be understood better.



34           Be totally present in the moment. If you’re enjoying time with
friends let yourself really be there rather than allowing your thoughts to be
elsewhere and preoccupied. You will experience the real joy in what’s
happening there and then and capture precious moments.



35           Learn to say no. A straight forward “No” is best although if this
feels difficult at first try, “No, my time is committed elsewhere.” Saying no
is a skill to learn, takes practice and you can do it pleasantly. You will
never please everyone and accepting this will reduce the pressure you put
on yourself.



36          Limit information you receive. For example, from newspapers,
TV, radio, background conversation, Internet….. Most of us suffer from
information overload trying to keep up with everything that’s happening and
when you limit this you will live life at a gentler pace.



37          Delegate tasks responsibly. Choose people you trust, ask for
small thing's first, allow for responses and updates, and let them know the
outcome. You will be more efficient when concentrating on what you’re
great at and feel comfortable about delegating if it's done responsibly.
38          Learn from people you meet. For example, if you are in
conversation with someone who has a successful business, consider in
what ways this may be relevant to you. It may bring to the surface
concerns or strengths that you were not aware of before. We all have
lessons to bring to each other and opening ourselves up to these lessons
allows us to learn more about ourselves and our direction in life.



39           Review your night dreams. When you wake up write them
down and become aware of their possible meanings in your life. For
example, if you dream about floating ask yourself questions about how
floating or feeling light is a reflection of your life. Exploring your dreams is
a way of understanding yourself, situations or problems and unlocking your
answers.



40           Reward your achievements. Choose the reward before you
start both for small and large achievements and use it to move you forward,
particularly when overcoming an obstacle.        Rewarding yourself will
encourage you to keep persevering and focusing on winning.



41          Define your priorities in life. List your top 5 priorities in order of
importance to you. For example, health, family, career… Being clear
about your priorities and living your life according to them eliminates much
of the struggle when you are making a decision. If health is your first
priority making time to exercise will be an easier decision.



42         Acknowledge yourself daily. Take 10 minutes at the end of
each day to acknowledge yourself, your strengths and your achievements.
For example, I acknowledge myself for listening to others better, being a
great parent, persevering with a business project…   It’s a positive way to
end your day, leaves you feeling valued and is an honest reminder of
yourself.
43           Connect with friends. Make time to call them on the telephone,
write a letter, spend an evening having fun, share a painful experience…
Friends are an important part of your life and will provide you with support,
different thoughts, inspiration and a real sense of who you are.



44           Keep your driving beneath the speed limit. These limits are for
your safety and what’s the hurry!! Choose to make the most of the
scenery, conversation… This is a great place to start putting your life onto
a different level and experience life at a more relaxed pace.



45          Answer telephone calls only at convenient times for you. For
example, if it's a family meal time stay with the family rather than take the
call. This will allow you to stay totally present with what you are currently
doing and reduce the demands on you personally at that moment.



46          Reduce visual distractions.    Such as, pictures, furniture,
paperwork, ornaments, books, general clutter…. The less you have around
you, the less there is to drain your energy. This will leave you feeling
lighter and more creative.



47         Receive intellectual stimulation regularly. You might try
conversations, books, training courses, playing number games in your
mind…. This keeps your brain alert, opens your mind to new ideas and
solutions.
48           Create space in your life for new things. When you are busy
keeping going and do not feel clear about where you are heading you’re
likely to feel stuck. Start letting go of some stressful things in your life and
have the time and space for what you really want. You will welcome new
opportunities rather than feeling overwhelmed by them.



49         Read an inspirational piece each day. Set aside 10 minutes,
pick up an inspirational book and become engrossed in its positive
messages. You need to keep putting these messages into your mind to
maintain a positive attitude and prevent the negatives from taking a hold.



50           Accept that it's okay to make mistakes. We all make them and
what really matters is what you learn from them. It’s not a mistake when
you use it to improve your learning.



51          Stop assuming things. Take note of what you are assuming
and start to discover whether it’s really the truth. For example, rather than
assume that your partner would like to see a film ask and get their answer.
When you stop assuming and start discovering you become more flexible
rather than experiencing or seeing only your perspective.



52            Detach yourself from outcomes. This keeps you present,
centred and attentive, leaving you aware of other peoples wants and needs
as well as your own. You will then be open to new challenges or
opportunities that may bring about a better result and you will be less likely
to feel a failure when you don’t reach a specific outcome.
53         Notice coincidences in your life. For example, when you pick
up a magazine and the first article you read contains information that
you’ve been needing, know that there’s a reason for this and take action.
Coincidences have a purpose and they are trying to teach or show you
something.



54            Quit worrying. It’s a sheer waste of energy and probably 90%
of what you are worrying about will not happen. Take this energy and use
it to solve the problems that are causing you to worry.



55          Take responsibility for your actions. Actions that you take are a
result of choices that you’ve made. When you take responsibility for your
actions you realise that you are able to make different choices.



56         Keep in touch with your feelings.          For example, when
something doesn’t feel right or comfortable ask yourself “How do I feel
about this?” Take the time to explore these feelings and you will
understand yourself more fully. Knowing how you feel and what you want
to do about it will improve your communication with other people.



57         Choose to be happy. You are responsible for your feelings and
have the power to decide how you feel. For example, your day may start
badly yet you can choose not to let it affect your feeling of happiness.
When you come from a place of peace and love you will experience life
more positively and joyfully.
58          Switch off the TV when you’re watching something that doesn’t
have a purpose. If you’re just watching TV to take up time have the
courage to look at what you’re possibly avoiding. This will give you time to
pursue many more activities such as conversation, reading and learning,
exercising or spending time with other people.



59          Laugh out loud every day. Turn this into a game and work on
achieving laughter from deep inside you by watching a hilarious film, telling
jokes or tickling fights with other people. You will feel your spirits lift
considerably.



60          Express your love to people around you. Say “I love you”, hug
them, listen and spend time with them…. We all need to feel loved and
expressing love to others will leave everyone feeling good about
themselves.



61          Refrain from judging yourself and others. For instance, when
you see someone shouting and screaming at their children instead of
judging them have compassion for them and understand that perhaps they
need support. We all do our best in the given circumstances and when you
judge yourself and others you close down to possibilities and your ability to
improve yourself.



62           Replace negative thoughts. When they enter your mind tell
yourself to “STOP” this thought and choose a positive one. “I will never be
able to do that” you could replace with “I am capable and will learn the
skills to be able to do that”. Negative thoughts are prominent in most
minds and when you make a choice to replace these thoughts you will live
in a more positive and loving way.
63          Let go of things that don’t serve you now. There are many
things in your life that aren’t working well for you now although they may
have done so in the past. Letting them go will allow more of the things that
do work for you into your life.



64            Give and receive hugs. Hug yourself and other special people
in your life, it can really make a big difference to how you and they are
feeling. A hug shows caring, compassion and warmth and it’s a moment
that lasts forever.



65           Learn to view life through the eyes of a 7 year old child. For
example, when you drop your shopping on the floor and the oranges are
rolling around a child would probably laugh seeing the amusing side of this.
Seeing a child’s view will get you back to being inquisitive, fun,
spontaneous and full of life while keeping your adult responsibilities, you’ll
feel lighter about life and it’s adversities.



66          Get rid of expectations.     For instance, you       may expect
recognition for your work with a promotion and yet this may     not fit in with
the companies' procedures.        Having expectations of        someone or
something is likely to leave you feeling disappointed when      it doesn’t go
your way.



67          Stop trying to control everything and everyone. For example,
you may want your colleagues to do everything your way and yet you’re
dealing with individuals who have minds and opinions of their own. There
is only one person that you can control and that is you.
68          Show your appreciation. Every day tell someone that you
appreciate them, “I appreciate the way you’ve supported me through this
emotional time.” We all need to feel appreciated and showing appreciation
to others will allow you to live in a more loving way.



69           Create affirmations for yourself. Describe who you are, for
example, “I am wonderful, I am creative, I am someone who takes
responsibility for my actions…..”. You will become more aware of who you
really are, your strengths and what you have to offer as a person. Your
feelings of confidence and self-esteem will increase.



Printed versions of this booklet are available from
http://www.Business-Personal-Coaching.com/StressBooklet.html

and

Amazon.co.uk
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0953645703/202-9008709-6199041



Wendy Hearn, Success Coach


A coach is professional resource, who inspires you to achieve your desired
success, both personally and professionally, who guides you in working
through problems and supports you in staying focused on the results you
want to create in your life. A partner in your life, assisting you to go further,
faster than you would on your own.
Subscribe to my FREE Newsletter “A Stress Free Life” by sending an email
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A newsletter to support and inspire you to start eliminating stress in your life. Written by
me personally, your Success Coach, who will be coaching you to start taking action.




Wendy Hearn, Success Coach

I work with individuals, business owners, professionals, corporate
managers and executives who know there is more to life and are ready to
start experiencing their lives more fully. They want balance, financial
security, fulfilling relationships and an occupation that inspires them to be
their best. I provide coaching on an individual and group basis on the
telephone and by email.




Wendy Hearn Coaching
Midsummer Court, 314 Midsummer Boulevard,
Central Milton Keynes. MK9 2UB

Tel: UK (01908) 357899                             Fax: UK 01908 357898

e-mail: wendy@Business-Personal-Coaching.com

http://www.Business-Personal-Coaching.com

                           Copyright  1998-2001 Wendy Hearn