Edward Dyson - Hello Soldier_4404

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ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html &Prefatory Materials HThis is a modified etext created by GutenMarkŠ software. Any comments below about etext preparation refer to the originalô, and not to this modified version of the etext. No individuals named below bear responsibility for changes to the text. ‚The Project Gutenberg EBook of Hello, Soldier! , by Edward Dyson €This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or †re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included \with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net 2Title: Hello, Soldier! $ Khaki Verse *Author: Edward Dyson \Release Date: October 19, 2005 [EBook #16904] $Language: English characteriastic. -Edward Dyson. AUSTRALIA. 4AUSTRALIA, my native land, F A stirring whisper in your ear > Tis time for you to understand @ Your rating now is A1, dear. RYou ve done some rousing things of late. FThat lift you from the simple state >In which you chose to vegetate. 0The persons so superior, F Whose patronage no more endures, 8Now have to fire a salvo for F The glory that is fairly yours. JAt length you need no sort of crutch, LYou stand alone, you re voted much 8Get busy and behave as such. BNo man from Oskosh, or from Hull, 8 Or any other chosen place @Can rise with a distended skull, J And cast aspersions in your face. DYou re given all the world to know The loyal song, the manly boast H Your splendid faith to manifest. Good and brown they were, B And their arms swung bare. HTheir fine young faces revived in me >A boyhood s vision of chivalry. LThe lean, hard regiment tramping down, HBushies, miners and boys from town. JFrom mid the watchers the road along P One fell in line with the khaki men. ZHe took the stride, and he caught their song, X And Steve went then, and Meneer, and Ben, . Long Dave McCree, 8 And the Weavers three, ZAll whisked away by the Come! Come! Come! JThe lusty surge of the vaunting drum. NI swore a prayer for each soldier lad. FHe was the son that might have had; LThe tall, bold boy who was never mine, j All brave with dust that the eyes laughed through, VHis shoulders square, and his chin in line, T Was marching too with the gallant few. : Passed the muffled beat : Of their swanking feet, JThe swell of drum, the exulting crow, DThe wild-bird note of the piccolo. NThey dipped away in the listless trees; BA mother wept on her beaded knees PFor sons gone out to the long war s end; J But more than mother or man wept I JWho had no son in the world to send. P The hour lagged by, and drifting high 0 Came the fitful hum 2 Of the little drum, RAnd faint, but still with an ardent flow, BThe pibroch, call of the piccolo. HeF came from tumbled country past the & humps of Buffalo VWhere the snow sits on the mountain n the . Summer aches below. RHe d a silly name like Archie. Squattin , sullen on the ship, He knew nexD to holy nothin through the gor" forsaken trip. TNo thoughts he had of women, no refreshin talk of beer; ^If he d battled, loved, or suffered vital facts $ did not appear; XBut the parsons and the poets couldn t teach & him to discourse PWhen it come to pokin guyver at a pore, " deluded horse. Page 5 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html ZIf nags got sour n kicked agin the rules of " things at sea, VArtie argued matters with em, n he d kid $ em up a tree. Z Here s a pony got hystericks. Pipe the word ( for Privit Rowe, RThe Sargint yapped, n all the ship came 0 cluckin to the show. XHe d chat him confidential, n he d pet n paw the moke; ZHe d tickle him, n flatter him, n try him with a joke; V N presently that neddy sobers up, n sez Ive course, ZSince you puts it that way, cobber, I will be & a better horse. LThere was one pertickler whaler, known 6 aboard ez Marshal Neigh, PWhose monkey tricks with Privit Rowe was . better than a play. XHe d done stunts in someone s circus, n he , loved a merry bout, TWhirlin in to bust his boiler, or to kick $ the bottom out. VRowe he sez: Well, there s an idjit! Oh, D yes, let her whiz, you beauty! `Where s yer orse sense, little feller? Where s > yer bloomin sense iv duty? PWell, you orter serve yer country! Then > there d come a painful hush, ^ N that nag would drop his head-piece, n , so 6 elp me cat, he d blush. VWe was heaped ashore be Suez, rifle, horse, * n man, n tent, TWhere the land is sand, the water, n the & gory firmament. TWe had intervals iv longin , we had sweaty " spells of work TIn the ash-pit iv Gehenner, dumbly waitin fer the Turk. \We goes driftin on the desert, nothin doin , nothin said, VTill we get to think we re nowhere, n arf * fancy we are dead, X N the only uman interest on the red horizon s brim >Is Marshal Neigh s queer faney fer the lad , that straddles him. `Plain-livin s nearly, bored us stiff. The Major calls on Rowe JTo devise an entertainment. What his . charger doesn t know TIsn t in the regulations. Him n Rowe is brothers met, Z N that horse s sense iv humor is the oddest fancy yet. ZBut the Turk arrives one mornin on the outer $ edge iv space. ZFrom back iv things his guns is floppin kegs & about the place, Page 6 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html T Privit Artie Rowe along with others iv the force ^Goes pig-rootin inter battle, holdin converse $ with his horse. ^Little Abdul s quite a fighter, n he mixes it with skill; TBut the Anzacs have him snouted,, n , oh, 2 ma, he s feelin ill. `They wake the all-fired desert, n the land for ever dead ^Is alive n fairly creepin , and the skies are " droppin lead. RWhen they ve got the Ot man goin , little , gaudy hunts begin. It ferL us to chiv His Trousers. n to round , the stragglers in. ^Cuttin closest to the raw, n swearin lovin all the way, VIs Artie from Molinga on his neddy, Marshal Neigh. HWe re pursuin sundry camels turkey- trottin anyhow ZWith the carriage iv an emu n the action iv a cow, RWhen a sand dune busts, n belches arf a . million iv the foe. \They uncork a blanky batt ry, n it s, Allah, let her go! RWe re not stayin dinner, thank you. Lie 8 along yer horse n yell, TWhile the bullets pip yer britches n you 6 sniff the flue of Hell. `Here it is that Artie takes it good n solid in the crust, \He dives from out the saddle, n is swallered in the dust. ZI got through n saw them pointin where the 6 Marshal faced the band. RHe was goin where we came from, sniffin . bodies in the sand. XTill he found Rowe snugglin under, took him : where his pants was slack, V N be all the Asiatic gods, he brought his soldier back! \With a bullet in his buttock, n a drill hole in his ear, LHe dumped Artie down among us. Square < n all, how did we cheer! 2There s no medals struck fer neddies, but we . rule there orter be, V N the pride iv all the Light Horse is old , Marshal Neigh, V.C. &MARSHAL NEIGH, V.C. IN HOSPITAL. ItL is thirty moons since I slung me hook H From the job at the hay and corn, VTook me solemn oath, n I straight forsook XAll the ways of life, dinkum ways n crook, N Page 7 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html V N the things on which it was good to look N Since the day when a bloke was born. NI was give a gun, n a bay net bright, @ N a ell of a swag iv work, PN I dipped my lid to the big pub light, To the oléD push cobbers I give Good-night! &Slipped a kiss to er., n I wings me flight D For a date with the demon Turk. XEz we pricked our heel to the skitin drum. L Square n all, I was gone a mile. JWith a perky air, n a eart ez glum REz a long-dead cod, I was blind n dumb, THoldin do the tear that was bound to come B At a word or a friendly smile. TNow I ve seen it all, I may come out dead, B But I ope never more a fool. ZI have scorched, n thirsted, n froze, n bled, R N bin taught the use of the human head, TFor when all is done n when all is said, H War s a wonderful sort of school. TI ve bin taught to get em n never fret, J N to sleep without dreamin when \We have swarmed a slope with the red rain wet; I aveL learned a pile, n I m learnin yet; \But the thing I ve learned that I won t forget > Is a way of not judgin men. RWe was shot down there in a dirty place R From the mansions n huts we d come L N of all the welter the ardest case NWas a little swine with a dimpled face, DWho a year ago was dispensin lace & In a Carlton em- por -ee- um . NIn the moochin days of me giddy youth, @ When I kidded meself a treat, VI d have pass him one ez a gooey. Strewth \On the track iv Huns, he s a eight-day sleuth, L N at tearin into em nail n tooth > He s got Julius Caesar beat! ZI ain t proud with him ; n I m modest, too, > When dividin a can of swill NWith a Algy boy from the wilds iv Kew. LCos I do not know what the cow will do PWhen a Fritzy offers to sock me through; H N it s good to be livin still. ^There you are, you see! Oh! it makes you sore, H When a bloke you despised at ome RIn them pifflin days of the years before VTakes a odds-on chance with the God of War, X N he tows you out with his left lung tore, H N a crack in his bleedin dome! P Twas a lad called Hugh done ez much for me. T (He has curls n he s fair n slim). RWell, I mind the days in the Port when we HPuts it over Hugh coz we don t agree ZWith his tone n style, n my foot was free H When the push made a hack of him. XNow he s paid me back. I had struck a snag, T And must creep through the battle spume Page 8 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html LAll a flamin age, with a grinnin jag NIn me thigh, for water, or jest a fag. TLike a crippled snake I was forced to drag T Shattered flesh till the crack of doom. TWhen they saw me he was the one who came. @ N he give me a raffish grin N N a swig. I wasn t so bad that shame TDidn t get me then, for the lad was lame. RThey had passed him his, but his art was game. L N he coughed ez he brought me in. LI have tackled God on me bended knees, J So He ll save him alive n whole, RFor the sake of one who he thinks he sees XWhen the Nurse s hands bring a kind of ease; ^And I thank God, too, for the things like these H That have give me a sort of soul. &There are Percies, Page 9 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html Algies$, n Claudes I ve met F Who could take it n come agen, VWhile the bullets flew in a screamin jet. \What in pain, n death, and in mire n sweat I aveL learned from them that I won t forget > Is a way of not judgin men. SISTER ANN. I m. lyin in a narrow bed, 4 N starin at a wall. HWhere all is white my plastered head 2 Is whitest of it all. HMy life is jist a whitewashed blank, @ With flamin spurts of pain. There was such women grown! HShe s nurse n sister, mum n dad, B N all that straight n fine 4In every girl I ever had. HWhen Gabr el comes, n all the glad H Young saints are tipped the sign, \ You ll see this donah take her place, first . angel in the line! PShe s sweet n cool, her touch is dew 6 Wet lilies on yer brow. @(Jist ark et me what never knew 2 Of lilies up to now). DShe fits your case in arf a wink, D N knows how, why, n where. FIf you are five days gone in drink, BN hoverin on perdition s brink, 8 It is her brother there. H God how pain will take a man, and 6 He has spoke with her! 4I dunno if she ever sleeps : Ten minutes at a stretch. @A dozen times a night she creeps > To soothe a screamin wretch 4Who has a tiger-headed Hun 6 A-gnawin at his chest. J N when the long, ard flght is won, Page 10 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html @ > \ he is still n nearly done, She smiles down on his rest, N minds me of a mother with a baby at her breast. :The curly kid we cuddled when 8 There was no splendid row @(It seemed a little matter then, > But feels so wondrous now). JIt s part of her. She s Joan iv Ark, 8 Flo Nightingale, all fair N dinkum dames. who ve made their mark BIf she comes tip-toe in the dark, @ We blighters feel her there. V The whole pack perks up like a bird, n 4 sorter takes the air. DShe chats you in a Ighland botch; 2 But if our Sis saw fit BTo pitch Hindoo instead of Scotch 4 I d get the hang of it, DBecause her heart it is that talks 8 What now is plain to me. DAt war where bloody murder stalks, H N Nick his hottest samples hawks. 6 I have been given to see L What simple human kindness is, what 0 brotherhood may be. BRICKS. DearF Ned, I now take up my pen to write 2 you these few lines, VAnd hopin how they find you fit. Gorbli , ( it seems an age XSince Jumbo ducked the Port, n drilled n 6 polished to the nines, ZHe walked his pork on Collins like a hero off the stage, ^Then hiked a rifle cross the sea this bleedin " war to wage. TThe things what s appened lately calls to 4 Jumbo s mind that day JOur push took on the Peewee pack, n 6 belted out their lard, XWith twenty cops to top it off. But now I m " stowed away, VA bullet in me gizzard where I took it good and hard, XA-dealin -stoush n mullock to the Prussian & flamin Guard. NAt Bullcoor mortal charnce had dumped a . mutton-truck of us From good olé Port* ker-flummox where we * didn t orter be, ZAll in a elpless hole-the Pug, Bill Carkeek, $ Son, n Gus, ZDon, Steve, n Jack, n seven more, n , as ( it appens, me, VWith nothin in since breakfast, n a week & to go for tea. PWorked loose from Caddy s bunch, we went N Page 11 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html 4 it gay until we found VWe d took to arf the ragin German Hempire " on our own. VThen down we went so umble, with our noses & in the ground, ZTakin cover in the rubble. If a German head was shown XIt was fare-the-well to Herman with a bullet , through the bone. RWe slogged the cows remorseless, n they 4 laid for us a treat. \We held that stinkin cellar, though, n when * the day was done XSon pussied on his bingie where a Maxie trim n neat ZHad spit out loaded lightnin , and he slugged " a tubby Hun, RThen choked a Fritzie with his dukes, n < pinched the sooner s gun! JWe rigged her on her knuckle-bones. Cri , 8 how she lapped em up! XWe hosed em out with livin lead. That was * the second day. "Me left eye I d ave8 give for jest a bubble in a cup, &Three fingers I d ave Page 12 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html parted for a bone I ve flung away; `But the butcher wasn t callin , n the fountain " didn t play. RT was rotten mozzle, Neddo. We had blown & out ever clip, \ N blooed the hammunition for the little box of tricks. TEach took a batten in his fist. Sez Billy Page 13 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html Let er Page 14 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html rip! PBut Son he claws his stubble. Sez -he: < Hold a brace of ticks. LThen Yow! he pipes n Strewth! he L sez, it s bricks, you blighters, bricks! XThere s more than arf a million spilt where 2 somethin hit a pub; VWe creeps among n sorts em, stack afore, , n stack behind; XThe Hun is comin at us with his napper like a tub VYou couldn t ope to miss it, pickled, par0 alysed, n blind. HSez Sonny: Lay em open! Give em 6 blotches on the rind! RThen bricks was flyin in the wind. Mine 0 dinted Otto s chin; ROle Nosey got his brother, which he never * more will roam. VWhen Ulrich stopped a Port bookay he rolled & his alley in. TTheir fire was somethin fierce. Poor Son @ was blowin blood n foam, V Fill up, he coughs, n plug em! S elp @ me Gord, we re goin ome! PWith bricks we drove right at em n we > wanged em best we could. X Twas either bed n breakfast or a scribble & and a wreath. RHaynes bust a Prussian s almond, took the 8 bay net where he stood, TThen heaved his last arf-Brunswick, split @ the demon s grinnin teeth, RAnd Son went down in glory, with a German underneath! XWe d started out with gibbers in our clobber & and our ats. XThey gave us floatin lead enough to stop an army cor . VWe yelled like fiends, n countered with a 6 lovely flight of bats, XThen rushed in close formation, heavin cot& tages, n tore TThrough blinded, bleedin Bosches, n lor 4 love yeh, it was war! `We came peltin , headfirst, elpless, in a drain among a lot *Of dirty, damned old Tommies ( Gord Page 15 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html ! The 4 best that ever blew!) REight left of us, all punctured, each man 8 holdin what he d got. RMe wild, a rat hole in me lung, but in me " mauley, too, RA bull-nosed brick with whiskers where no 0 whiskers ever grew. VThere s nothin doin now. I wear me blan. kets like a toff. ZThe way this fat nurse pets me, strewth, it s 0 well to be so sick, RA-dreamin of our contract n the way we ( pulled it off. RI reckon Haig is phonin Hughes: Hullo, 6 there, Billy. Quick RA dozen of the pushes and a thousan tons of brick! MUD. ThisJ war s a waste of slurry, and its atmosphere is mud, All is bog from here to sunset. Wadin through `We re the victims of a thicker sort of universal flood, Z With discomforts that old Noah never knew. JWe have dubbed our trench The Cecil. L There s a brass-plate and a dome, P And a quagmire where the doormat used to be, RIf you re calling, second Tuesday is our reg * T lar day at home, V So delighted if you ll toddle in to tea! TThere is mud along the corridors enough to bog a cow; R In the air there hangs a musty kind of woof; VThere s a frog-pond in the parlour, and the 4 kitchen is a slough. V She has neither doors nor windows, nor a roof. NWhen they post our bald somnambulist as 4 missing from his flat R We take soundings for the digger with a prop. VBy the day the board is gratis, by the week . it s half of that; \ For the season there s a corresponding drop. XOpening off the spacious hallway is my natty $ little suite, L A commodious and accessible abode. VBy judicious disposition, with exclusion of my feet, \ There is sleeping room for Oliver the toad. VThough the ventilation s gusty, and in gobs 0 the ceiling falls T Which with oral respiration disagrees PThough there comes a certain quantity of Page 16 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html 8 T seepage from the walls, There are some I knew in diggings worse than these. ROn my right is Cobber Carkeek. There s a 6 spring above his head, ^ And his mattress is a special kind of clay. NHe s a most punctilious bloke about the 0 fashion of his bed, V And he makes it with a shovel every day. PMan is dust. If so, the Cobber has been 2 puddled up a treat. L On domestic sanitation he s a toff, \For he lights a fire on Sunday, bakes his sur, face in the heat, Z Then he takes a little maul, and cracks it off. XAfter hanging out a winter in this Cimmerian hole T We re forgetting sheets, and baths, and " tidy skins. VIn the dark and deadly calm last night they 0 took us on patrol. b Seven, little fellows, thinking of their sins. XIt was ours like blinded snails to prowl the 0 soggy, slimy night, V With a feeler pricking out at every pore ZFor the death that stalks in darkness, or the 8 blinking stab of light, ^ And the other trifling matters that are war. \That s the stuff to get your liver, that s the & acid on a man, ^ For it tries his hones, and seeks his marrow throngh. XYou have got the thought to comfort you that 0 life is but a span, \ If Fritz squirts his loathly limelight over you. LWe got back again at daybreak. Cobber : ducked to doss and said, T From the soft, embracing mud: No more I ll roam. P Oh, thank Heaven, blokes, he murmured, B for the comforts of a bed! R Gorstruth, but ain t it good to have a home! MICKIE MOLLYNOO. A mile - long, panto dragon ploddin 4 opeless all the day, \Stuffed out with kits, n spiked with rifles, 6 steamin in its sweat, TA-heavin down the misty road, club-footed , through the clay, FBy waggons bogged n buckin guns, 8 the wildest welter yet, VLike arf creation s tenants shiftin early in the wet. VWe re marchin out, we dunno where, to meet $ we dunno who; TBut here we lights eventual, n sighs n Page 17 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html & ^ slips the kit, , struth, the first to take us on is Mickie Mollynoo! RA copper of the Port he was, when istory was writ. ^Sez I : We re sent to face the foe, n , selp * me, this is It. RA shine John. Hop is Mollynoo. A mix-up $ with the push JIs all his joy. One evenin when his 0 baton s flyin free ZI takes a baby brick, n drives it hard agin the cush, B N Privit Mick is scattered out fer all the $ world to see, XBut not afore indelible he s put his mark on me. VI got the signs Masonic all inlaid along me lug HWhere Molly, P.C., swiped me in them 6 appy, careless days. THe s sargin now, a vet ran; I m a newchum and a mug, R N when he sorter fixes me there s some, thin in his gaze RThat s pensive like. Move on! sez he. D Keep movin there! he says. XIf after this I dreams of scraps promiscuous and crool, JThe mills in Butcher s Alley when the 4 watch is on the wine, XThose nights he raided Wylie s shed to break . the two-up school, VI takes a screw at Molly. With a grin that " ain t divine VHe s toyin with a scar of old I reckernise as mine. ^ N so I m layin for it, n I m wonderin how n what. VWe re signed on with the Germans, n there 2 ain t a vacant date; `But sure it s comin to me, n it s comin ard n ot. RMe lurk is patient waitin , but I m trim, min while I wait TA brick to jab or swing with, in a willin tatertate. TOh, judge me wonder! There s a scrim that 0 follers on a raid. TI m roughin it all-in with Hans. He sock $ me such a bat bI slides on somethin narsty, n me little grave is made; TBut Molly butts my Hun, n leaves no face * beneath his hat, ~ N , Scuse me, Mister Herr, sez he, I have a lien on that! PHe helps me under cover, n he ands me $ somethin wet \(I ve got a lick or two that leaves me feelin & pretty sick). N Page 18 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html Lor love yeh, olé John Hop , sez I, yiv buried me in debt. Don t minton ut4 at all, he sez, n eyes ( me arf-a-tick. \ N back there in the trench I sits, n trims & another brick. N Tis all this how a month or more; then , Mollynoo sez he: Come aisyF, Jumm, yeh loafer, little hell n $ all to view. FA job most illegant is on, cut out fer you n me. LThe damnedest, dirtiest fighter on the , Continent is you, NBar one, yeh gougin thafe, n that is . Sargin Mollynoo! dI take, with knife n pistol, arf a brick to line me shirt. TWe creeps a thousan yards or so to jigger up a gun ZWhich seven Huns is workin on the Irish like a squirt. PWe gets across them, me n him. I pots & the extra one; LMick chokes his third in comfort, n , > be old, the thing is done! ZHe stands above me, rakin sweat from off his & gleamin nut. N Me dipper s leakin , Mick, sez I; me 2 leg is bit in two. RSez he: Bleed there in comfort, I m for < bringin help, ye scut. VHe s back in twenty minutes, with a dillied $ German crew. R Three ll carry in the gun, sez he, the 4 rest will carry you. PI dunno how he got em, but he made them 2 Page 19 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html barrer me. LThey lugged the gun before him, n he : yarded them like geese. VThen Mickie s lutes the Major. They re in , custody, sez he, V Fer conduc calculated to provoke a breach iv peace, TA-tearin iv me uniform, n saultin the po-lice. LThen down he dumped. His wounds would @ make a arf a column list. RWhen hack to front I chucks me bricks n 8 smiles the best I can. VHe grins at me: Yer right, sez he, Hold : out yer bla -guard fist, ^I couldn t fight yeh, blarst yeh, if yeh dinted in me pan. LThis messin round wid Germans makes a . chicken iv a man. Jam . "(A Hymn of Hate). What6 is meant by active service Ere where sin is leakin loose, N the oldest and s as P < Page 20 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html nervis D As a dog-bedevilled goose, > Has bin writ be every poet L What can rhyme it worth a dam, B But the orror as we know it 4 Is jist jam, jam, jam ! J Oh, the ymn of ate we owe it RStodgy, splodgy, seepy, soaky, sanguinary jam! T There s the fearful roar iv battle, J What gets underneath yer at, B Mooin like a million cattle < Each as big as Ararat; V There s the red field green n slippy J (And I m cleaner where I am), L But the thing that s got me nippy 0 It is jam, jam, jam ! H Druv us sour it has, n dippy, ^Sticky, sicky, slimy, sloppy, stummick-strafin jam! L Of the mud that s in the trenches F Writers make a solemn fuss; H For the vermin n the stenches < Little ladies pity us; P But the yearn that s honest dinkum, P N the prayer what ain t a sham P Is that Fritz may bust n sink em 6 Ships of jam, jam, jam ! T For we bolt em, chew em, drink em, TMillion billion bar ls of beastly, cloyin $ clammy jam! D We are sorry-sick of peaches, P N we re full right up of plum, B N innards fairly screeches J When the tins of apple come. H Back of Blighty piled in cases, N Jist as close as they can cram, B Fillin all the open spaces, 4 Is the jam, jam, jam ! L Oh, the woe the soldiers face is, NMonday, Sunday, ruddy, muddy, boundless & bogs of jam. WEEPIN WILLIE. WheyB our trooper hit wide water every 6 heart was yearin back \To the little ouse at Coogee or a hut at Barrenjack. bShe was ookin up to spike the stars, or rootin " in the wave, VAn me liver turned a hand spring with each 6 buck the beggar gave. ^Then we pulls a sick n silly smile n tips a saucy lid, NCrackin hardy. Willie didn t. Willie 4 snivelled like a kid. XAt Gallip the steamer dumped us, n we got 0 right down to work, TWhoopin up the hill splendacious, playin 6 tiggie with the Turk. Page 21 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html PWhen the stinkin Abdul hit us we curled . down upon a stone, ^ N we yelled for greater glory, crackin ardy " on our own. ZNot so Willie. He was cursin , cold ez death . n grey ez steel, V N the smallest thing that busted made the 8 little blighter squeal. hIn the bitter day s that follered, spillin life be$ side the sea, \We would fake a spry expression for the things ( that had to be, ZAlways dressin up the winder, crackin ardy & though we felt ZFearful creepy in the whiskers, very cold be* neath the belt. dBut his jills would sniff n shiver in the mother " of a fright, \ N go blubberin n quakin out to waller in the fight. ZIn the West we liked the weather, n we fat, tened in the mud, RCrackin ardy, stewed together, rats an 6 slurry men n blood. RWeepin Willie wouldn t have it these was 4 pleasin things abed, Z N he shuddered in his shimmy if they passed 0 him with the dead. VWhen he cried about his mother, in a gentle ( voice he d tell \Them as dumb-well didn t like it they could go ( to sudden ell. \There was nothin sweet for Willie in a rough& up in the wet; `But if all things scared him purple, not a thing 4 had stopped him yet. ZIf some chaps was wanted urgent special dirty work to do VWillie went in with a shudder, but he alwiz * saw it through. TOh, a busy little body was our Willie in a crush! \Then he d cry out in the night about the faces $ in the slush. TWell they pinked him one fine mornin with < a thumpin unk iv shell; TPut it in n all across him. What he was 0 you couldn t tell. LI saw him stitched n mended where he 4 whimpered in his bed, X N he d on y lived because he was afraid to & die, he said. VSez he Struth, they re out there fightin , H trimmin Boshes good n smart, XWhile I m bedded here n elpless. It fair < breaks a feller s eart. XBut he came again last Tuesday -n we go it $ in a breath X London s big n black n noisy. It would < scare a bloke to death. Page 22 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html PHe s away now in the trenches, white n 6 nervous, but, you bet, VPlayin lovely ands of poker with his busy bay-o-net, ` Fraid of givin n of takin , fraid of gases, * fraid of guns ZBut a champion lightweight terror to the gorforsaken Uns ! BILLJIM Down. to it is Plugger Bill, BLyin crumpled, white n still. Me n him >Chips in when the scrap begins, :Carin nothin for our skins, >Chi-iked as the Eavenly Twins$ Bill n Jim. Page 23 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html They ave( outed Bill at last, BSlugged me cobber hard n fast. $ It s a kill. 2See the purple of his lip 6 N the red n oozy drip! Ends our great olé partnership" Jim n Bill Though it got em by the score, >Two was goin to beat this war" But n Jim. JMate o mine, yiv stayed it through. price yer humble, Dicko Smith, 4 in gaudy putties girt, R With sand-blight in his optics, and much 6 leaner than he started, NRound the Oly Land cavorting in three. quarters of a shirt, P And imposin on the natives ez one Dick * the Lion Earted? ZWe are drivin out the infidel, we re hittin Page 24 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html up the Turk, V Same ez Richard slung his right across the & Saracen invader LIn old days of which I m readin . Now : we re gettin in our work, P N what price me nibs, I ask yeh, ez a . qualified Crusader! Z Ere I am, a thirsty Templar in the fields of Palestine, N Where that hefty little fighter, Bobby 8 Sable, smit the heathen, LAnd where Richard Coor de Lion trimmed 8 the Moslem good n fine, N N he took the belt from Saladin, the 8 slickest Dago breathin . VThere s no plume upon me helmet, n no red * cross on me chest, P N so fur they haven t dressed me in a 6 swanking load of metal; PWe ve no Oly Grail I know of, but we do $ our little best V With a jamtin, n a billy, n a battered olé mess kettle. XQuite a lot of guyver missin from our brand of chivalry; J We don t make a pert procession when > we re movin up the forces; PWe ve no pretty, pawin stallion, n no 2 pennants flowin free, J N no giddy, gaudy bedquilts make a 2 circus of the orses. \We most always slip the cattle n we cut out all the dog \ When it fairly comes to buttin into battle s " hectic fever, *Goin forward on our wishbones , with our ( noses in the bog, V N we eave a pot iv blazes at the cursed unbeliever. HFancy-dress them old Crusaders wore, 4 and alwiz kep a band. X What we wear s so near to nothin that it s 0 often ardly proper, RAnd we swings a tank iv iron scrap across the Oly Land N From a dinkie gun we nipped ashore the 2 other side of Jopper. \We ain t ever very natty, for the climate here is hot; Z When it isn t liquid mud the dust is thicker * than the vermin. TTen to one our bold Noureddin is some wad* dlin Turkish pot, T N the Saladin we re on to is a snortin ( red-eyed German. PBut be old the eighth Crusade, n Dicko . Smith is in the van, J Dicko Coor de Lion from Carlton what F could teach King Dick a trifle, TFor he d bomb his Royal Jills from out his Page 25 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html , baked-pertater can, P Or he d pink him full of leakage with a 6 quaint repeatin rif1e. JWe have sunk our claws in Mizpah, and , Siloam is in view. R By my alidom from Agra we will send the , Faithful reelin ! ZThose old-timers botched the contract, but we 6 mean to put it through. R Knights Templars from Balmain, the Port, > Monaro, Nhill, andl Ealin . TWe are wipin up Jerus lem; we were ready with a hose X Spoutin lead, a dandy cleaner that you bet ( you can rely on; PAnd Moss Isaacs, Cohn, and Cohen, Moses, . Offelbloom n those T Can all pack their bettin bags, and come 8 right home again to Zion. *PEACE, BLESSED PEACE. HereR in the flamin thick of thick of things, N With Death across the way, n traps FWhat little Fritz the German flings B Explodin in yer lunch pe aps, @It ain t all glory for a bloke , H It ain t all corfee ot and stoo, @Nor wavin banners in the smoke, DOr practisin the bay net stroke F We has our little troubles, too! DHere s Trigger Ribb bin seein red F N raisin Cain because he had, @Back in the caverns iv his ead, D A oller tooth run ravin mad. FPore Trigger up n down the trench J Was jiggin like a blithered loan, @ N every time she give a wrench BYou orter seen the beggar blench, F You orter eard him play a toon. FThe sullen shells was pawin blind, @ A-feelin for us grim as sin, FWhile now n then we d likely find B A dizzy bomb come limpin in. &But Trigger simply let er sizz. F He ardly begged to be excused. BThis was no damn concern of his. FHe twined a muffler round his phiz, J N fearful was the words he used. @Lest we be getting cock-a-whoop R Ole Ans tries out his box of tricks. >His bullets all around the coop H Is peckin like a million chicks. JBut Trigger when they barks his snout N Don t sniff at it. He won t confess PThey re on the earth -ignores the clout, B N makes the same old sung about D His brimmin mug of bitterness. >They raided us there in the mud H One day afore the dead sun rose. HMe oath, the mess of stuff and blood Page 26 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html N Would give a slaughterman the joes! HAnd when the scrap is past and done, R Where s Trigger Ribb? The noble youth :Has got his bay net in a Hun, TWhile down his cheeks the salt tears run. L Sez he to me Gorbli -this tooth! BA shell hoist Trigger in a tree. F We found him motherin his jor. If this Page 27 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html ache s& goin on, sez he, J So elp me, it ll spoil the war! FFive collared Trigger on his perch, F They wired his molar to a bough, HThen give the anguished one a lurch, J N down he pitches. From that birch H His riddled tooth is hangin now. >This afternoon it s merry ell; D Grenades is comin by the peck; @A big gun times us true n well, H And, oh! we gets it in the neck. LThey lick out flames hat reach a mile, L The drip of lead will never cease. HBut Trigger s pottin all the while; FHe sports a fond n foolish smileT Thank Gord, he sez, a bit of peace! (Thé HAPPY GARDENERS. WeJ were storemen, clerks and packers on * an ammunition dump XTwice the size of Cootamundra, and the goods " we had to hump TThey were bombs as big as water-butts, and , cartridges in tons, ZShells that looked like blessed gasmains, and 6 a line in traction-guns. XWe had struck a warehouse dignity in dealing ( with the stocks. TIt was, Sign here, Mr. Eddie! Clarkson, 2 forward to the socks! VOur floor-walker was a major, with a nozzle like a peach, XAnd a stutter in his Trilbies; and a limping $ kind of speech. \We were off at eight to business, we were free ( for lunch at one, ZAnd we talked of new Spring fashions, and the 6 brisk trade being done. VAfter five we sought our dugouts lying snug ( beneath the hill, FEach with hollyhocks before it and geraniums on the sill. JSinging Home, Sweet home, we swept, R and scrubbed, and dusted up the place, VThen smoked out on the doorstep in the twi2 light s tender grace. RAfter which with spade and rake we sought 6 our special garden plot, ZAnd we tended to the cabbage and the shrink* ing young shallot. XSo long lived we unmolested that this seemed , indeed the life. VSet apart from mirk and worry and the inci& dence of strife; RAnd we trimmed our Kitchen Eden, swapping $ vegetable lore, RWhi1e the whole demented world beside was . muddled up with war. ZThere was little talk of Boches and of bloody " battle scenes, Page 28 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html NBut a deal about Bill s spuds and Billy 4 Carkeek s butter-beans; XPorky specialised on onion and he had a sort of gift VFor a cabbage plump and tender that it took & two men to lift. RIn the pleasant Sabbath morning, when the 6 sun lit on our street, XAnd illumed the happy dugout with effulgence $ kind and sweet, \It was fine to see us forking, raking, picking off the bugs, RTreading flat the snails and woodlice and 2 demolishing the slugs. RThen one day old Fritz got going. He had a hint of us, \And the shell the blighter posted was as roomy as a bus; THe was groping round the dump, and kind of ( pecking after it; ZWhen he plugged the hill the world heeled up, 8 the dome of heaven split. TThen, 0 Gott and consternation! Swooped a : shell a and stuck her nose TIn Carkeek s beans. Those beans came up! 2 A cry of grief arose! PAs we watched them -plunk! another shell 8 cut loose, and everywhere VFlew the spuds of Billy Murphy. There were , turnips in the air. XBill! she tore a quarter-acre from the land0 scape. With it burst RTommy s carrots, and we watched them, and D in whispers prayed and cursed. TThen a wail of anguish scaped us. Boomed 4 in Porky s cabbage plot TA detestable concussion. Porky s cabbages were not! TThere the Breaking strain was reached, for < Porky fetched an awful cry, LAnd he rushed away and armed himself. 8 With loathing in his eye, RUp and over went the hero. He was savage . Through and through, VAnd he tore across the distance like a mad$ dened kangaroo. ^They had left a woeful sight indeed -frail cab$ bages all rent, \Turnips mangled, little carrots all in one red burial blent, XParsnips ruined, lettuce shattered, torn and 0 wilted beet and bean, VAnd a black and grinning gap where once our 6 garden flourished green. . . . . . . VFive and fifty hours had passed when came a 0 German in his shirt. NOn his back he carried Porky black with < blood, and smoke and dirt. T I sniped six of em, said Porky, an me Page 29 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html 4 V . pris ner here, he sezI done in the crooel swine what strafed me helpless cabba-ges. I took( to khaki at a word, F And fashioned dreams of wonder. BI rode the great sea like a bird, H Chock full of blood and thunder. 6I saw myself upon the field < Of battle, framed in glory, BCompelling stubborn foes to yield HAs captives to my sword and shield 2 This is another story. :We sat about in sun and sand, > We broke old Cairo s images, BMet here and there a swarthy band D In little, friendly scrimmages, :And here it is I start to kid < No Moslem born can hit me. HThe Germ then that had long laid hid For some few days I wore an air 8 Of pensive introspection, BAnd then I curled down anywhere. > They whispered of infection, HAnd hoist me on two sticks as though 8 I bore the leper s label, >And took me where, all in a row :Of tiny beds, two score or so : Wčré raising second Babel; And that one of his mother. DThey were the victims of the Germ, @ The imp that Satan pricks in, @First cousin to the Coffin Worm, >Whose uncomputed legions squirm : Some foul, atomic Styx in. NThe Germ rides with the plunging shell, B Or on the belts that fret you, Wrapped in a dingy blanket. >We set out braggartly in mirth, F World s bravest men and tallest, FTo do the mightiest thing on earth, HAnd here we re lying, nothing worth, < Succumbent to the smallest! Thé GERM JOEY S JOB. Page 30 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html InP days before the trouble Jo was rated as a slob. `He chose to sit in hourly expectation of a job. RHe d loop hisself upon a post, for seldom ( friends had he, dA gift of patient waitin his distinctif quality. ^He d linger in a doorway, or he d loiter on the grass, REdgin modestly aside to let the fleetin $ moments pass. XJo begged a bob from mother, but more often " got a clout, ZAnd settled down with cigarettes to smoke the devil out. LThe one consistent member of the Never $ Trouble Club, XHe put a satin finish on the frontage of the pub. PHis shoulder-blades were pokin out from 0 polishin the pine; VBut if a job ran at him Joey s footwork was divine. bJo strayed in at the cobbler s door, but, scoffed $ at as a fool, VHe found the conversation too exhaustin as a rule; ZOr, canted on the smithy coke, he d hoist his & feet and yawn, \His boots slid up his shinbones, and his pants . displayin brawn: ZAnd if the copper chanced along twas beautyful to see NJoe wear away and made hisself a fadest memory. RThen came the universal nark. The Kaiser $ let her rip. ZThey cleared the ring. The scrap was for the B whole world s championship. VJo Brown was takin notice, lurkin shy be& neath his hat, ZAnd every day he crept to see the drillin on the flat. ZHe waited, watchin from the furze the blokes . in butcher s blue, `For the burst of inspiration that would tell him what to do. ZHe couldn t lean, he couldn t lie. He yelled . out in the night. PJo understood -he d all these years been 6 spoilin for a fight! NRight into things he flung himself. He 4 took his kit and gun, XMooched gladly in the dust, or roasted gaily " in the sun. X Gorstruth, he said, with shining eyes, it 6 means a frightful war, X N now I know this is the thing that Heaven & meant me for. XJo went away a corporal and fought again the Page 31 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html Turk, ZAnd like a duck to water Joey cottoned to the work. ZIf anythin was doin it would presently come out TThat Joseph Brown from Booragool was there ( or thereabout. PHe got a batch of medals, and a glorious renown NAttached all of a sudden to the name of ( Sergeant Brown. RThen people talked of Joey as the dearest * friend they had; JThey were chummy with his uncles, or ac 8 quainted with his dad. \Joe goes to France, and presently he figure as the best \Two-handed all-in fighter in the armies of the West, RAnd men of every age at home and high and low degree, NWe gather now, once went to school with 2 Sergeant Brown, V.C. XThen Hayes and Jo, in Flanders met, and very ( proud was Hayes RTo shake a townsman by the hand, and sing . the hero s praise, X Oh, yes, says Jo, I m doin well, n yet , I might do more. `If I was in a hurry, mate, to finish up this war bI d lay out every Fritz on earth, but, strike me, what a yob NA man would be to work himself out of a & flamnin job! ZNow Jo s a swell lieutenant, and he s keepin $ up the pace. LHa Record says Lieutenant Brown s an 2 honor to the place. VThe town gets special mention every time he ( scores. We bet XIf peace don t mess his chances up, he ll be 0 Field-Marshal yet. XDad, mother and the uncles Brown and all our people know ZThat Providence began this war to find a grip for Jo! 4Thé GIRL I LEFT BEHIND ME. I said6: I leave my bit of land@ In khaki they ve entwined me, :I go abroad to lend a hand. FSaid she: My love, I understand. DI will be true, and though we part HA thousand years you hold my heart": The girl I left behind me. One little woman spurred me on: The girl I left behind me. Hard going they assigned me, FI pricked the Turk up from the sea; >I riddled him, he punctured me; DAnd, bleeding in my rags, I said: L She ll meet me somewhere if I m dead: The girl I left behind me. JIn France we broke the German s faceH They tried with gas to blind me. HIn mud we bogged from front to base, JAnd dirt was ours, but not disgrace. LThey carved me till I couldn t stand. >Said I Now for the Lodden, and : The girl I left behind me. HI came ashore, and struck the track; L For dust you scarce could find me. FThe dear girl gave no welcome backRShed changed her names and state, alack! J You ve been a time, I must say, Ned, BIn finishing your old war. Said : The girl I left behind me. @I flung a song up to the skies. B For battles gods designed me. @I think of Fifi s laughing eyes, FAnd Nami, dusk, but sweet and wise, >And chortle in my heart to find but altered me intention. R N If you put it thus, sez I, I don t ( care if I do. PWe had a drink together. There s a tem* por y suspension ZOf hostilities to sample contraband n other stuff RIn the enemy s possession. Which I think * he s had enough. XThat Hun had thirty pockets, n he d stowed * a flask in each, V N presently I m thinkin I could love him * like a brother. XHe s talkin fond n friendly in outlandish , parts of speech. R You re prisoner of war, I sez; n then * we had another. \Ten flasks he pours into his hat, n fills it " to the brim, \ N weeps n sez his frau she will be waitin up for him. RWe drink each other s health, n know no . henmity nor fear. XI see I ve got to pinch him, but he s out to ( do his div. in, X N don t care if he don t go home till day0 light doth appear. TSez he: I pud you home to bed upside dot 2 ouse you live in. ^He shakes his finger in me eye: Mein friendt, 4 you re preddy trunk! PThen arm in arm through No Man s land we 0 does a social bunk. RThere s Fear afoot. Comes more than once > the glug of sudden death. RWe re rockin fine n careless where the 8 rifle fire is breakin , T N singin most uproar ous, in the bomb s . disgustin breath, ZOf girls, n drink, n cheerful sprees, n > Herman thinks he s takin NA cobber home to somewhere in an subbub $ damp n dim, Whereas I know fer6 certain it is me is takin him. RSomehow, sometime, I lands him where he s 0 safely put to bed. I wake nex@ day, n holy smoke! I m pri8 soner with the German. ZMe mouth is like an ashpan, there s hot fish, bolts in me head, N N through the barb-wire peerin is me 8 foreigh cobber Erman. R Ve capdure each lasd nighd, sez he you > home haf bring me, boss. RFor bravery in takin me, he got the Iron Cross! We set three colored petticoats @ From Baker s chimneys blowin N( Tis not the bravest flag that floats, > Yet twas the finest goin ); @We cheered our hero all we knew, @ No song of praise neglectin , LTo show our pride as he limped through @He merely spat and snorted, Who D The deuce are yous expectin ? DThey lured him to my shop somehow, @ And sued for news of battle. TSays Tom: Who rides the mail track now? B Who herdin Stringer s cattle? BA dint the Turk put in his head. : He covers with a ringlet. Distinguished Service Order. B Then Sydney Bob was rather vexed P With Green -who d pinched his braces, @That was continued in our next < In half a score of places. What a helephant could sit in. JBounced their bullets, if yeh please, :Like the oppers in a cheese, :Off me rubber pelt in droves, 8Moppin up the other coves. Page 37 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html DSo here s me once more at large in LBay-street, Port, a bloomin Sargin . Cri:, it jumbo. Have a beer. < Wot-o, Anzac; you re a dear. \Back once more on Moley s corner, loafin a dook; LBack on Bourke, me livin image, not a $ slinkin spook; PSolid ez the day I started, medals on me chest, PSwitchin with me pert melacca, swankin with the best DWhere the little wimmen s flowin , JWith their veils n ribbons blowin @See their eyes of bloo n brown :Butterflyin bout the town! JBack at ome-oh, struth, it s good! @Long, cold lagers from the wood, 8Ev ry cobber jumpin at you, @Strangers duckin in to bat you- like Page 38 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html Good olé Jumbo , how re you? 6 Ello, soldier, howja do? VBack at Grillo s where the nigger googs his whitey eyes, Plucks his black olé. greasy banjo while the & cod-steak fries; ZFish n chips, a pint iv local, and the tidy girl VDancin glad attendance on yeh zif yeh was an earl; @Trailin round the blazin city, >Feelin all content n pretty, @Where the smart procession goes, DPrinked n polished to the shows, 4One among the happy drive> Sworth the world to be alive! :Dames ez smilin ez a mother, Page 39 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html Ev ry man ver$ fav rit brother: 6 Ello, Jumbo, how is it ? H Ärr there, soldier! Good n fit? RTakin hozone at St. Kilder s good enough for me, TSeein Summer and the star-blink simmer in the sea; TCantin up me bloomin cady, toyin with a cig., ^Blowin out me pout a little, chattin wide n Page 40 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html big NWhen there s skirt around to skite to. @Say, oo has a better right to? :Done me bit n done it well, :Got the tag iv plate to tell; 4Square Gallipoli surviver, DWith a touch iv Colonel s guyver. * Sargin Jumbo, good olé son ! F Soldier, soldier, you re the one! VBack again, a wounded hero, moochin up n down, ZFeelin sthough I d got a fond arf-Nelson on the town; VNever was so gay, so elp me, never felt so kind; ZFresh from ell a paradise ain t very hard to find. JAfter filth, n flies, n slaughter Soldier, soldier, how re you? HELLO, SOLDIER! Thé MORALIST. ThreeF other soldier blokes n me packed 6 ome from foreign lands; ZBit into each the God of Battles everlastin brands. ZThey limped in time, n coughed in tune, n 0 one was short an ear, X N one was short a tier of ribs n all was $ short of beer. P I speaks up like a temp rance gent, H But ever since the sky was bent ZThe thirst of man as never yet bin squenched " with argument. \Bill s skull was welded all across, Jim ad an eye in soak, TSam obbled on a patent leg, n every man was broke; ZThey sang a song of Mother with their faces titled up. VSays Bill-o: Ere s yer eroes, sling the 0 bloomin votive cup! L We got no beer, the soup was badL Now oo will stand the soldier lad VThe swag of honest liquor that for years he hasn t ad? NSez I: Respeck yer uniform! Remember oo you are! 0They d pinched a wicker Page 41 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html barrer , arf a pram & n arf a car. In this olé Bill>-o nestled neath a blanket, on his face VA someone s darlin sorter look, a touch iv ( boy ood s grace. N The gentle ladies stopped to ear, J N dropped a symperthetic tear, TA dollar or a deener for the pore haff1ict dear. ZThe others trucked the wounded to a hentrance up a lane. RI sez: Sich conduck s shameful! Bill-o . took to ease his pain POne long un and another. The conductor ( picked his brand; TThe gripman lent his countenance to wot he ad in and. T And when they moved their stand twas Sam N Lay pale n peaceful in the pram, Z N twenty flappers stroked his paw, n said " he was a lamb. TThe gathered in the tokens and they blooed em as above, PWhile Jim-o done the hinvalid oom Sammy " had to shove. XSez I: No noble eroes what s bin fightin " for their king PShould smirch theirselves by doin this dis * onerable thing. N But fine old gents n donahs prim Z They stopped n slid the beans to Jim. VYou betcher life I let im hear just what I " though of im. ^Nine, g.m. at St. Kilder, saw the finish of the prowl. ZEach ad his full- n -plentv, and was blowin " in the tow l. ZAs neither bloke cud stand alone, they leaned n argufied ^Which was the patient sufferer oo s turn it was to ride. J Each eld a san wich and a can. < Sez I: This shouldn t ave began\ Tain t conduck wot it worthy of a soldier and a man. XI cud a cried with injured pride. Afore a " push the three VGot scrappin , vague n foolish, which the 4 cripple boy should be. dSam slips his scientific leg, n flings it in the drainT I ll auto ome, he sez, or never see me ome again. B But I am thinkin ard oo he V Tucked elpiess in the pram might be. RComes sudden reckerlection. Great Gohan$ ners, it is me! REPAIRED Page 42 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html Page 43 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html Hauled. I was from out the tip J Fritz made with his demonstration, :All broke up, a fractured hip ,In me Darby Kell a rip : Settn up a cool sensation : Like excessive ventilation From a andsome plate of meat. :They had sorter pied me feet, < And a bullet of the foe hit N Where no decent bloke could show it. F Arf a year they ve botched me now; 6 Ev ry scientific schemer In the cor has faked me prow, BSoled n heeled a bloke somehowL Gawd, the last one was a screamer. < Wirin up me flamin femur! BComes a guy and pipes you square, L Gogglin at you through his glasses, BSwings you in the barber s chair, @Tilts you this end up with care, D Lets you have a whiff of gasses J Chattin off-hand with the lasses. >Then he slices clean n swift, F Like a cobbler cuts his leather, BGives the splintered knob a lift6S elp me tater, it s a gift F How they glues you all together, B Sayin it s bin nicer weather! @Surgeon wipes his ands, a verse > Chort1e softly as he pitches @Probes and sponges to the nurse, LThinks the lunch might have bin worse; H Close your little gap he hitches, J Whistlin as he jabs the stitches. DI m caught in with fiddle-strings, J Stuck about with bits n patches, BFixed with ligatures n springs, FLath n plastered, swung in slings N Skewered with little wooden matches, N Hung with hinges, knobs n latches. 8Till I lay behind me screen, : Serious n sober one day, 2Satisfied n all serene, 6 Arf a man n arf machine D What they winds up ev ry Monday F N it tilts all ways by Sunday. : Ome again I ll come, a neat, 2 Semi-autymatic loafer, 8Number up, n all complete, BCreakin round on Collins Street, L With a licence (which I ll owe for) @ My own car and my own shofer! OUT OF KHAKI. I slung. me khaki suit to-day. D Civilian now front heel to chin @ I op round on a single shin; Page 44 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html HAt home in peace I m bound to stay. D N so they ve took me duds away. L It urt like strippin off me skin! 8I put it on three years ago, The olé< brown rig. There wasn t then B A prouder chicken in the pen. LJist twenty turned, me nibs you d know @For how I give me chest a throw, > A man among the best of men. Glad eyes was ever on the lurk, L N little earts was thumpin warm L For nippers trainin with the swarm To swat olé Page 45 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html Kaiser Bill , or work @A toe-hold on the heathen Turk. D Fair dink, I loved the uniform! FI soused mine in the brine that day J When Tophet spilt, n in the roar P Of shells that split the sea n tore @Our boats to chips, we broke any HUp through the pelt of leaden spray, N N got our first real taste of war. >They shot me tunic all to rags; D Then in the perpendic lar spree J Me trousers wore off to the knee. The right- Page 46 ABC Amber Sony Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcsonylrf.html abouts of many bags HWas ground off in the dust n crags 4 A-sittin in Gallipoli.