Best Laughters SMS

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Best Laughters Archived Posts from this Category Categories: Advice SMS (1) Thu 22 Oct 2009 M e n’s perspective About Their Wives Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  Angry SMS (3) Anniversary SMS (4) April Fool Day SMS (14) ASCII SMS (9) Bania jokes (2) Bar Jokes (2) Beautiful SMS (1) Bengali SMS (4) Best Laughters (76) Bible SMS (68) Bihari Jokes (1) Birthday SMS (11) Blonde Jokes (3) Bollywood Jokes (3) Break Up SMS (1) Broken Heart SMS (1) Buddhist SMS (1) Childrens Day SMS (1) Christmas SMS (15) College Jokes (15) Computer Jokes (5) Congratulation SMS (6) Cool Jokes (32) Cricket Jokes (3) Daughters Day SMS (1) Days SMS (2) Decent SMS Jokes (1) Demotivational SMS (1) Dentist Jokes (1) Devotional SMS (10) Diwali SMS (93) Durga Pooja SMS (2) Easter SMS (2) Eid Mubarak SMS (7) Election SMS (8) English Funny SMS (7) Exam Jokes (7) Father's Day SMS (3) Flirt SMS (14) Friendship Poem (11) Friendship SMS (125) Funny Shayari (27) Funny SMS (98) Ganesh Chaturthi SMS (2) Geek SMS (1) General Knowledge SMS (3) Get Well Soon SMS (3) Good Evening SMS (3) Good Luck SMS (2) Good Morning SMS (65) Good Night SMS (14) Greetings SMS (56) Gudipadwa SMS (1) Gujarati SMS (3) Halloween Jokes (1) Haryanvi Jokes (1) Health Tips (23) Heart Break SMS (1) Hindi Jokes (12) Hindi Shayari (27) Hindi SMS (65) When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. David Bissonette After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, y o u’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, y o u’ll become a philosopher. Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Anonymous The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, What does a woman want? Dumas I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Sigmund Freud Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’ Anonymous ‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.’ Sam Kinison ‘I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t .’ James Holt McGavra Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. Patrick Murra The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…. Nash You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Anonymous http://smsjokes.co.in/sms/category/best-laughters My wife and I were happy for twenty years Page 1 / 9 Halloween Jokes (1) You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Anonymous My wife and I were happy for twenty years Then we met. Henny Youngman A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. Rodney Dangerfield A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’ Anonymous First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’ Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’ Anonymous SEND THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH……AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!! Haryanvi Jokes (1) Health Tips (23) Heart Break SMS (1) Hindi Jokes (12) Hindi Shayari (27) Hindi SMS (65) Historical Qoutes (1) Holi SMS (11) Hospital Jokes (6) Husband and Wife (14) Independence Day (11) Inspirational Quotes (38) Inspirational SMS (94) Insult SMS (27) Irish Jokes (3) Islamic SMS (1) IT Jokes (1) Jokes (21) Kannada SMS (1) Linguistic Jokes (5) Lohri SMS (2) Love Poems (51)   Love Quotes (22) Love Shayari (8) Love SMS (64) Sat 3 Oct 2009 Swine Flu Jokes SMS Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  Lovely SMS (1) Mahaveer Jayanthi SMS (2) Malayalam SMS (37) Mallu Jokes (2) Management Jokes (14) Marathi SMS (4) Marital Woes SMS (1) Marriage SMS (2) Milad-Un-Nabi SMS (2) Miscellaneous (5) Miss you SMS (31) Missing You (22) M M S (3) Monsoon SMS (1) Mothers Day SMS (5) Motivation SMS (3) Mullah Nasiruddin Jokes (16) Naughty SMS (2) Navratri SMS (16) New Year SMS (40) Office Jokes (4) Onam SMS (3) One Liners (3) Patriotic SMS (1) Poems (19) Political Humor (3) Political Jokes (3) Politics SMS (1) Pongal SMS (7) Praising SMS (1) Propose SMS (1) Punjabi Jokes (1) Punjabi SMS (3) Rakhi SMS (2) Raksha Bandhan SMS (2) Ramadan SMS (13) Ramzan SMS (14) Republic Day SMS (3) Rude SMS (1) Sad Love Poems (1) Sad Shayari (2) Sad SMS (5) Santa Banta Jokes (13) Sardar Jokes (38) School Jokes (25) Shivratri SMS (2) Sindhi Jokes (1) Smile SMS (2) A bear, a lion and a pig meet. Bear says: “if I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear.” Lion says: “if I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me.” Pig says: “big deal…. I only have to cough, and the entire planet lives in fear..”   Tue 1 Sep 2009 DO NOT TAKE YOUR MOBILE TO TOILET.! Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  DO NOT TAKE YOUR MOBILE TO TOILET.! Wonder why.? Because you canNOT. . . “WALK WHEN YOU TALK”! B-) WHAT AN IDEA SIRJI.?:) Keep smilililing. .   Tue 1 Sep 2009 It was Wonderful, Everyone was Clapping For Me.! Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  http://smsjokes.co.in/sms/category/best-laughters Baby Mosquito came back after its 1st time flying. Page 2 / 9 Sad SMS (5) Tue 1 Sep 2009 It was Wonderful, Everyone was Clapping For Me.! Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  Santa Banta Jokes (13) Sardar Jokes (38) School Jokes (25) Shivratri SMS (2) Sindhi Jokes (1) Smile SMS (2) SMS Shayari (7) Sorry SMS (8) Stupid Jokes (1) Sweet Insults (2) Sweet SMS (4) T-Shirt Quotes (4) Baby Mosquito came back after its 1st time flying. His dad asked him, “How do you Feel.?” He replied, “It was Wonderful, Everyone was Clapping For Me.!”   Tamil SMS (236) Teacher Day SMS (1) Teasing SMS (18) Tue 1 Sep 2009 In USA every year Edison’s Birthday is Celebrated with a Power Cut Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters Thank You SMS (2) Thinking of You SMS (2) Tongue Twister SMS (2) Valentine's Day SMS (21) Weekend SMS (4) Wise SMS (121) Womens Day SMS (8) Words of Wisdom (58) No Comments  In USA every year Edison’s Birthday is Celebrated with a Power Cut for 2 minutes. But here due to Over-Respect, We celebrate it Daily for 3-4 hours.   Tue 18 Aug 2009 Bengali India’s integrity in Diversity Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  Monthly: October 2009 (91) September 2009 (181) August 2009 (59) July 2009 (80) June 2009 (23) May 2009 (5) April 2009 (76) March 2009 (271) February 2009 (279) January 2009 (253) December 2008 (33) November 2008 (92) October 2008 (43) September 2008 (47) August 2008 (47) July 2008 (21) June 2008 (25) May 2008 (77) April 2008 (21) March 2008 (12) February 2008 (9) January 2008 (7) December 2007 (48) November 2007 (30) October 2007 (37) September 2007 (46) August 2007 (19) July 2007 (7) June 2007 (4) May 2007 (14) One Bengali = poet. Two engalis = a film society. Three Bengalis = political party. Four Bengalis = two political parties. More than four Bengali’s = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Team. Bihari One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav. Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad. Three Biharis = caste killing. Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna. Mallu One Mallu = coconut stall. Two Mallus = a boat race. Three Mallus = Gulf job racket. Four Mallus = oil slick. UP Bhaiyya One UP bhaiyya = a milkman. Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop. Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly. Gujju One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombaytrain. Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombaytrain. Three Gujjus = Bombay’s noisiest restaurant. Four Gujjus = stock market scam. Andhraite One Andhraite = chili farmer. Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey. Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit. Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie. Kashmiri One Kashmiri = carpet salesman. Two Kashmiris = carpet factory. Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit. Four Kashmiris = shoot-a t-sight order. Subscribe to this blog Posts | Comments http://smsjokes.co.in/sms/category/best-laughters Tamil-Brahmin One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple. Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class. Page 3 / 9 Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit. Four Kashmiris = shoot-a t-sight order. Tamil-Brahmin One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple. Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class. Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m. Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara. Mumbaikar One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall. Two Mumbaikars = film studio. Three Mumbaikars = slum. Four Mumbaikars = The number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour. Sindhi One Sindhi = currency racket. Two Sindhis = papad factory. Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar. Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association. Marwari One Marwari = The neighbourhood foodstuff adulterator. Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta. Three Marwaris = Finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis. Four Marwaris = Threaten the Jews as a community. Haryanvi One Haryanavi = tube light Two Haryanavi = agriculture Three Haryannavi= Lathi squad Four Haryanavi = actually just one was enough Live Scorcard:   Sat 1 Aug 2009 STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  BOY: May I hold your hand? GIRL: No thanks, it isn’t heavy. GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY: You love me… GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? BOY: Sure, what’s your phone number?? GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY: Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever. BOY: Don’t you ever want to improve?? BOY: I love you and I could die for you! GIRL: How soon?? BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you! GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there?? SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? TRACY : I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. MAN: You remind me of the sea. WOMAN: Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting? MAN: NO, because you make me sick. WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do u think, Peter? PETER : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly. 1) Girlfriend : “ ….And are you sure you love me and no one else ?” Boyfriend : “Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday”. 2) Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?” Pupil : “The moon”. Teacher : “W h y ?” Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”. http://smsjokes.co.in/sms/category/best-laughters interested?” 3) Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer Page 4 / 9 Teacher : “W h y ?” Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”. 3) Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?” Pupil : “A teacher”. 4) Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?” Customer : “What other colors do you have ?” 5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs. 6) Teacher : “Sam, you talk a lot !” Sam : “It’s a family tradition”. Teacher : “What do you mean?” Sam : “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”. Teacher : “What about your mother?” Sam : “She’s a woman”. . 7) Tom : “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?” David: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”. Teacher : “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?” Student : “Brotherly love”. 9) Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?” Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”. 10) Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?” Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”. 11) Teacher : ” Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? ” One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.” 12) Teacher : ” George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?” One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand.”   Sat 25 Jul 2009 Equations ( What’s Your Equation ? ) Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  SSC + HSC + BTech + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com. One Chinese gymnast = India’s Gold Medal tally since 1896 Sushmita Sen – 1.2 feet = Salman Khan. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = a 4 minute song in Hindi movie. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + own production company = Kajol.. Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum’s favorite serials. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan – Talent = Abhishek Bachchan Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda 1 person – shirt = Salman Khan 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay Dutt 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol One engagement + Two weddings + Three wedding songs + Four hundred Relatives + A house bigger than Buckingham Palace = One Sooraj Barjataya Film Reading mails all the time + no replies = Silence of the Lamb! Software Engineer, Qualified Employee + No Work = Forwards http://smsjokes.co.in/sms/category/best-laughters   Page 5 / 9 Software Engineer, Qualified Employee + No Work = Forwards   Fri 24 Jul 2009 A Very Good Humor…. Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t . 2.. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal! to kill them. 4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5.. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me 7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 9.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing. 10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine. 12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16.. Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it! 17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 18 . Procrastinate Now! 19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. 25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 26.. Ham and eggs…A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 27.. The trouble with life is there’s no background music. 28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 29.. I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.   Sat 11 Jul 2009 Read : How a Drinking Problem Can Break a Family.? Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  How a Drinking Problem Can Break a Family : Tom : Mom, I have a Drinking Problem.! Mom (Liz) : Oh My God.! Tom you’re Only Six. Liz Turns to Husband Bob : This is Only your Fault Bob : May be if You’d Spend More time with him.? http://smsjokes.co.in/sms/category/best-laughters Liz : He sure as Hell doesn’t need a role model like you.! Bob : I’ve Done Nothing, Page 6 / 9 Bob : May be if You’d Spend More time with him.? Liz : He sure as Hell doesn’t need a role model like you.! Bob : I’ve Done Nothing, but this is what I get.? I am Leaving you both. Liz : I Don’t Need You and Tom Sure doesn’t Need You. Oh Tom, Don’t cry. We’ll be okay withOut Dad. Now, tell me about Your Drinking Problem, Dear.! Tom : Mom. If Joe Drinks One Litre of Juice and John Drinks Two, How much did they Both Drink.??   Sat 11 Jul 2009 What is the Formula of Water.? Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  Teacher – What is the Formula of Water.? Student H2 MgCl NaCl HNO3O CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnU HgNiHCl(COOH) Teacher- What.? Stu – This is Corporation Water, Ma’am.!   Thu 9 Jul 2009 Poems written by husband to wife Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  I wrote your name on sand it got washed. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack. God saw me hungry, he created pizza . He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi . He saw me in dark, he created light . He saw me without problems, he created YOU. Twinkle Twinkle little star You should know what you are And once you know what you are Mental hospital is not so far. The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn’t it rain on you? Roses are red, Violets are blue Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo. Don’t feel so angry you will find me there too Not in cage but laughing at you.   Wed 8 Jul 2009 FUNNY MATRIMONIAL ADS Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters , Funny SMS No Comments  http://smsjokes.co.in/sms/category/best-laughters SOFTWARE ENGINEERS: Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features(privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities) . There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her. Low Bugs can be deferred But Page 7 / 9 SOFTWARE ENGINEERS: Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features(privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities) . There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her. Low Bugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build. She must _NOT_ be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT or USER FRIENDLY. We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never be released to ANY OTHER Customer. DOCTOR: Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage. I’m looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply. BEGGAR: Allah ke naam pe koi ek biwi de de, Doosre ki nahi to apni hi de de, Allah tujhe ek ke badle do dega, Hillary hogi to Monika bhi dega LAWYER: I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidatefor the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I’m looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lordi.e.Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence. BANKER: Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service. SHAYAR (Poet): Badi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai, Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye, Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi, To yaaron ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi. DRUNKARD: Wanted a girl. Girl’s father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preffered will carry me from bar to ghar. Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample. CAR MECHANIC: Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run the household at a good average…..   Mon 6 Jul 2009 Who do you think is the LAZIEST Inventor of all times.? Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  Who do you think is the LAZIEST Inventor of all times.? ? ? ? ? ? ? Isn’t it the guy who invented the Snooze in an Alarm.?.!.   Mon 6 Jul 2009 What is the Difference between a Man buying a Lottery Ticket and a Man Fighting with his Wife.? Posted by Rahul under Best Laughters No Comments  Difference between http://smsjokes.co.in/sms/category/best-laughters a Man buying a Lottery Ticket and a Man Fighting with Page 8 / 9 No Comments  Difference between a Man buying a Lottery Ticket and a Man Fighting with his Wife.? . . Ans. -The man buying a lottery ticket has a Chance of Winning.!   Next Page » Search http://smsjokes.co.in/sms/category/best-laughters Page 9 / 9