“I was twelve years old and already I followed this instinct, only I was afraid it
could make someone suffer…”. The Person De Leo N., as the label reads on the
psychiatric files which contains the analysis of her transition from Nicholas to
Nicole, today a forty year old and finally struggling to attempt to realize that
There is nothing, more intimate and more social than one’s sexual identity.
“I never thought it could be so difficult. I thought the decision was enough. The
decision was there…” and the documentary tells about its consequences over the
course of four years.
Nicole lives suspended in the surreal atmosphere of the carnival of Venice, where
she works in shop which sells costumes and masks. She is working as an actress in
a theatre production in which she has continual costume changes. She works as a
street prostitute to finance her cosmetic treatments. These are the stages over
which her memory guides her as she follows through the legal procedures required
to do the long awaited sexual intervention of the rectification of the sexual organs
and bureaucratic sexual identity. A long and painful journey, above all in its
Lived through in the exasperated solitude of continual yearning for the mother,
who doesn’t want to see her because she can’t accept that her son could soon
become her daughter.
A personal story. It is not a journalistic probe, nor is it a cultural exploration
which explores the phenomenon, which is so intimate and therefore so individual
Rather it is an emotional story lived in first person, which in its paradoxical and
emblematic dimension, acts as a magnifying glass for the needs, the fears and the
hopes of every human being who strives with great sacrifice and courage to realize
his or her true identity.