VIEWS: 2 PAGES: 1 POSTED ON: 11/24/2012
“I was twelve years old and already I followed this instinct, only I was afraid it could make someone suffer…”. The Person De Leo N., as the label reads on the psychiatric files which contains the analysis of her transition from Nicholas to Nicole, today a forty year old and finally struggling to attempt to realize that instinct. There is nothing, more intimate and more social than one’s sexual identity. “I never thought it could be so difficult. I thought the decision was enough. The decision was there…” and the documentary tells about its consequences over the course of four years. Nicole lives suspended in the surreal atmosphere of the carnival of Venice, where she works in shop which sells costumes and masks. She is working as an actress in a theatre production in which she has continual costume changes. She works as a street prostitute to finance her cosmetic treatments. These are the stages over which her memory guides her as she follows through the legal procedures required to do the long awaited sexual intervention of the rectification of the sexual organs and bureaucratic sexual identity. A long and painful journey, above all in its psychological aspects. . Lived through in the exasperated solitude of continual yearning for the mother, who doesn’t want to see her because she can’t accept that her son could soon become her daughter. A personal story. It is not a journalistic probe, nor is it a cultural exploration which explores the phenomenon, which is so intimate and therefore so individual in nature. Rather it is an emotional story lived in first person, which in its paradoxical and emblematic dimension, acts as a magnifying glass for the needs, the fears and the hopes of every human being who strives with great sacrifice and courage to realize his or her true identity.
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