A letter from God to a bruised reed
I sure can relate to your desires and struggles, and I think they are pretty
universal, too. God only calls a select few to celibacy and that is a burning desire
in their heart, not a man-made or imposed requirement. The kingdom is designed
for both celibates and married couples.
Romance is complicated, more than I think we can understand. And it is much
more difficult for men than women. We (men) tend to live out of our heads and
see things as processes. Not so for the ladies. They are sensing everything that
is going on around them. Intuition is a keyword here. They naturally tend towards
the more visceral, heart issues. Meanwhile, we are still trying to figure things out.
There is a time
and place for both, but the key is in creating an environment where both sides
understand that and work to let the others giftings find a place. It should be
complimentary, and is, but it takes work to get there because we have to
understand that which is different from ourselves.
I am going to throw out some THOUGHTS here but then I am going to speak
from my EXPERIENCE. Hopefully the two will fit and minister to you.
Let's begin by giving you some paraphrased scriptural admonition.
I would like to encourage you that you need not struggle or strive. God is both
sovereign king of the universe and Father. He merits your respect, but desires
your intimacy. Remember, God has no favorites, just intimates. Said differently,
we are as close to him as we want to be.
His eyes scan the earth looking for those of us who are willing to simply give Him
our time, attention, and affection (which you can’t avoid if you give him your time
Remember, he says to cease striving, be still and know that He is God. He
knows the plans that He has for you and He is actively at work directing our
steps. Remember, we have been made the righteousness of God through Christ
and the steps of a righteous man are ordained by the Lord. Scripture says that
He will direct us with His eyes upon us and that He will accomplish the things that
he ordained for us. Further, He has plans of good and not evil, to give you both a
hope and a future.
Think about it, originally we were created for one thing, to be his children and to
fellowship with our Father. That was lost in the fall, but regained when the
second Adam, Jesus, restored his original purpose. He made the way for us to
return to the Fathers original intention--- fellowship.
We must know first and foremost that He loves us as His children and that he is
working all things for our good. Think about the times you have spent
worshipping God or waiting silently on Him. Don’t the struggles, stresses,
concerns, and fears of this life just drop right away? WHY? Because once you
are close to Him, in communion with Him, the Spirit in you rises up and the love
of God overcomes all the anxious thoughts of your mind. You know in your heart
that it is all going to be OK because your heart is beating in concert with your
Father's will and you know that you are cared for . You can walk away from
intimate time with the Father in the middle of a terrible struggle and know that He
has the solution and you will triumph. He delights to give His children good gifts,
after all, what Father doesn’t delight in blessing his children?
And that is us. God’s love is perfect and he desires to give you the desires of
your heart, which he created in you in the first place. What a wonderful, and
divine, grand design!!
It is all available to us but scripture reminds us that we have to keep ourselves in
the love of God. Scripture also says to press diligently into the rest of God. That
all suggests that we have to turn towards the Lord and seek Him. It does take a
bit of discipline, but we have self-control as a fruit of the Spirit and can do it in His
strength. But once we have made the effort to seek Him and His rest, the
benefits will overwhelm you, refresh you, and renew you. Those who wait on the
Lord shall renew their strength and mount up with wings of eagles.
They shall run and not faint. Weariness disappears. Scripture tells us that the
kingdom of God is love, joy and peace in the Holy Spirit.
But scripture also says that the kingdom is taken by violence. In other words, it is
already won and available to us but we have to press through the gravity of this
world and our own flesh to abide in it. But once we are there, how wonderful. And
we can have it daily, too!!
Your words remind me so much of my own struggles through the years. I have
spent far too many years struggling with these same thoughts. I lived in my head
far too much. Knowledge is good, but the kingdom is largely about relationship.
Remember the Pharisees knew the scriptures but were blind. They had fallen in
love with their knowledge. That is why when the Truth and the Life literally stood
in front of them, they missed it completely. However, the common people who
saw only their need, fell at His feet and received mercy and grace.
I used to overwork things in my mind and let human reasoning, concern and fear
create a lot of tension in my life. I still loved the Lord and had an active worship
life but wasn’t sitting at His feet enough. And I didn’t really understand His love
and care for me. I said the right words with my mouth but in reality I didn’t really
believe it, and my actions & thoughts revealed that. The fruit was worry and
frustration. As a result I also went through periods of depression and belief that
my life didn’t count for much. What was I doing, after all, compared to "So and
That is a snare of the enemy. Take your eyes off the Word, don’t commune with
your Father, and condemn yourself because you don’t compare to X person.
That is pure enemy there. He is the accuser of the brethren and he wants us on a
treadmill and not resting in the care and victory we already have. The battle has
been fought and won 2000 years ago. Our job now is to draw near and walk in
Just to be honest, I still have some struggles with similar things but nothing close
to what I used to. Depression has disappeared. Unbelief is becoming less and
less. Simply I have learned to take (most) my thoughts captive, cast down those
that don’t line up the word, and extinguish those firey darts of unbelief, doubt,
hopelessness and fear with the Word and the shield of faith. My faith rests in His
love for me, and His love casts
out fear. In other words, when Satan or my own flesh wants to tell me I will be
stuck in the same situation (job, singleness, defeat, etc) I remind myself that
Gods word says that He has a plan for me specifically and He is bringing it pass.
And it goes for all other factors in our lives.
Know that God has a plan, and that He is actively at work to both desire and do
His good pleasure. Find the promises in His word that pertain to your situation
and meditate on them. Rest in His presence. If he wants to adjust you, you will
hear it, because the sheep know His voice.
And He doesn’t beat you or condemn you for your weaknesses. Instead, he
encourages you that you can enter boldly before the throne, as a full child of
inheritance, to receive grace in time of need, forgiveness and power to carry on
and change. And let me really encourage you not to think so much. Our minds
are a good thing but they are designed to meditate on the Word. That is our
wisdom, power and direction. Once you have the Word buried in your heart use
the sword of the Spirit to cast down those thoughts that seek to destroy you. The
enemy walks around AS a roaring lion, but for us he is a toothless defeated foe.
He can only lie and call God a liar.
He gets us thinking things like “I know the word says ______________ but. . . .” .
The word of God is the final word on everything. If God says it, then it is truth and
light, and it is so. God cannot lie. His word is alive and active and powerful. There
is no BUT to it. And that is exactly what we need to do with any thoughts that
enter our head or words that come from others, even well-intentioned friends.
defeated Satan in the wilderness by replying “it is written” to everything the
enemy tried. That is our model on dealing with thoughts. If it doesn’t line up with
the word, then challenge it and speak the scripture for that situation.
My main word to you is RELAX AND ENJOY EACH DAY. God IS God. He has it
all worked out and you will be fine. You earnestly desire is to serve and please
him, so that opens a huge door for God to work. Even if you weren’t cooperating,
He is faithful even when we are not. It is not about earning His love, because
nothing can separate you from His love. It is about believing that ultimately God
loves you as His son/daughter and just wants your heart. Your mind will follow
and we need not struggle.
When I was looking for my future mate, after I first came to the Lord, when I was
21, I was all wrapped around the axle. When I finally realized that my wife was
"the one" I spent too much time trying to figure it all out. My heart knew what my
head couldn’t understand but I was in my head. So I spent our engagement
analyzing, wondering, worrying, thinking, thinking some more, thinking about
what I just thought, and then rethinking that.
It is a vicious circle, and there is no peace. It is kind of like a familiar little cave
that I went in to. But in the end a cave is a cave. You have gone nowhere, and
you are in the dark. Why not come out, lay down in the green pastures and trust
God moment by moment that He is working beyond our ability to ask or think
(imagine)? SO if you can’t see all that He does, and you can’t even imagine how
good it is, then why try? Why not just trust?
I want to see you enjoy your relationship with Christ, walk in his rest, and enjoy
the provisions he has for you day by day.
Ultimately, we get one day at a time. Don’t worry about tomorrow, cast your
cares and concerns. Just stay close enough to the heart of God that you can
sense his care and direction. Enjoy the day. This is the day that Lord has made,
and I will rejoice and be glad in it. In essence, don’t worry, do trust. We get to our
final destiny one step at a time. Trust God that today’s step is one more in the
right direction. He will adjust your footsteps where he needs to and you WILL
know it because the Word says we KNOW His voice. It can be a test at times to
do so. Think about this. When Moses was out in the wilderness tending sheep,
he had no idea that each day prepared him for the one day when he would reach
his destiny. God put him where he was, doing what he was doing. It seemed
routine, and common. And it was obscure. But one day, which seemed like all the
others, God said “come up here Moses”.
Same with Joseph sitting in a stinking prison cell for 13 years. One morning he
was a forgotten prisoner in the bowles of a sewer, by that evening he was the
second most powerful man in the world.
And David. He spent years tending sheep in the middle of nowhere. HE spent
years hiding from Saul, even worse, being actively pursued. But one day God
said "Today is the day."
The point is that to each of them it looked like nothing was going on. Every day
was the same as the one before and there was no reason to believe that it would
ever be different. And they probably felt like God was doing nothing. They must
have felt insignificant. BUT THAT WAS THE WAY IT LOOKED ON THE
SURFACE. THE TRUTH IS THAT GOD HAD A PLAN, WAS ACTIVELY
WORKING IT AND NONE OF THEM HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT. THEY
WERE JUST LIVING OUT ONE DAY AT A TIME.
So it is with you , my friend. You are getting one day at a time. You wake up
every morning and go to work, then go home. It all seems so ordinary. Is this it or
am I missing it? NO, just like David, Joseph, and Moses, you are right where God
wants you. He wants you to rest in Him and enjoy the ride. Don’t worry, he has it
all worked out and good things are working in your life. Just spend time with Him
and the rest will come. I am preaching at the choir too, mind you. I am preaching
at myself as well as you. In fact, I have encouraged myself by sharing with you!!
But God is faithful and He will see us both through, and without any help from