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					TE AROHA                                               coming years, in the surveys they have
MOUNTAIN                                               Thank you to members who have returned
LIONS                                                  their completed surveys I look forward to
                                                       receiving the others before the meeting next
CLUB                                                   week. It was good to see a reasonable
                                                       turnout for the District Governor’s Dinner and
Welcome to our                                         thank you to Margaret for her superb
                                                       organising of this event. I was able to get to
Oct - Nov 2012 Bulletin:                               the dinner in time for our District Governor,
                                                       Sara’s presentation and it was great to hear
                                                       what she had to tell us.

                                                       Just a reminder to you all that when you put
                                                       your name down for such an event if you
                                                       don’t put in an apology by the date we have
                                                       to confirm numbers to the caterers you are
                                                       responsible for payment of those tickets. This
                                                       was passed some time ago. After discussion
                President’s Report
                                                       with Margaret, I will suggest to members that
               Dear Fellow Members
                                                       in future we have to have the money in by the
including our member-to-be, Delwyn,
                                                       confirmation date to avoid such situations, as
                                                       the club just doesn’t have the funds to cover
Well, I didn’t really expect to be in this role till
                                                       such eventualities. It’s a fact of life that to
next year and I wish that had been the case,
                                                       make such events feasible for the caterers
however Pat had to resign, as we know, for
                                                       we have to have to make sure we have a set
family reasons, and our hearts go out to her
                                                       number attending.
and the family at such a sad time. Thank you
to Margaret, Irene, Helen, Norah and Marilyn
                                                       Three of your new executive, myself, Debra
who went to the funeral together with past
                                                       and Lynmarie, will be attending the coming
members, Lyn and Ally and our thanks also
                                                       District 202L Development Day to learn more
goes to those of you who took some plates of
                                                       about Lions and running our club. Thank you
food for the gathering at Pat and Gray’s
                                                       to the members who came to see the
afterwards. ‘The smallest act of kindness is
                                                       Hospital Garden Project site and thank you to
worth more than the grandest intention’.-
                                                       Antonia and Marilyn for all their hard work in
Oscar Wilde
                                                       ‘pruning back’ (excuse the pun!) the costs.
                                                       Antonia will have a full report by the coming
The past few weeks have been a fast
learning curve for some of us and the ensuing
re-shuffle of the committee means that your
                                                       To those of you suffering from the various
executive now consists of the following
                                                       ‘bugs’ going around at present I wish you a
Myself (Wanda Brittain) as the new President
                                                       fast recovery and I would also like to wish our
1 Vice President      Debra Burns                      members involved in the coming local theatre
Secretary             Margaret Martin                  production, (namely Eileen and Lynmarie) all
Treasurer             Lynmarie Gray                    the best and ‘break a leg’ (as we say in the
Thank you to Debra and Lynmarie for coming             theatre) for a smash hit run. Of course many
forward to fill these roles. As I have now             of us will be seeing the show after the next
taken on the President’s role, I am delighted          meeting.
to say that Eileen Joyce has taken on the
Bulletin Editor’s position (that I previously
held) now that she is no longer the Treasurer.
So thank you Eileen. So this will be my swan           Te Aroha Mountain Lions – ‘We Serve’
song edition. However, I will retain my role as        Business meetings are held on the 1st
the PR/Press officer. We do still need a 2nd           Wednesday of the month, and the Social
Vice President so we are looking forward to            meetings on the 3rd Wednesday.
someone coming forward to taking that
position on. Succession planning is vital to           For meeting details please phone: Secretary -
any club and it’s really positive to see that a        Margaret Martin
number of members have indicated that they             Ph: 07 884 4422
would be prepared to take on positions in the
                                                            The Comedy Column
                                                                  FORGOT MY
October 3 Meeting 7.00pm note time
                                                           Yesterday my daughter
17             Social meeting? to decide   asked why I didn't do something
31             Combined Services Dinner    useful with my time. She suggested I
Te Aroha Club Speaker Geoff Mathis on      go down to the senior center and
Tanzania Dairy Project details to come     hang out with the guys. I did this and
                                           when I got home last night I told her
November 1st set up hall for Book Fair     that I had joined a parachute club.
2 & 3rd     BOOK FAIR
3 Development Day in Rotorua               She said - "Are you friggin' nuts?
                                           You're almost 70 years old and you're
7th         Meeting AT 7.30 - RSA          going to start jumping out of
December 1 Xmas Progressive Dinner         airplanes?" I proudly showed her that
Details to come                            I even got a membership card. She
5th            Meeting AT 7.30 - RSA       said to me, "For heaven's sake, where
                                           are your glasses! This is a
Christmas cake cutting & delivery          membership to a Prostitute Club, not
dates to be decided                        a Parachute Club!"
25th           Christmas Day
                                           I'm in trouble again and don't know
                                           what to do! I signed up for five jumps
                                           a week! Life as a senior citizen is not
                                           getting any easier.
       “Spring is the time of plans and    HOW TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE LADIES!
            projects.” Leo Tolstoy
                                           1. Open a new file on your PC.

                                           2. Name it 'Housework.'

                                           3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.

                                           4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN.

                                           5. Your PC will ask you,
                                           'Are you sure you want to delete Housework
                 3 Pat Murray
                                           6. Calmly answer, 'Yes' and press mouse
                                           button firmly.
              13 Philippa Davey
               20 Lou Conning
              30 Grant Williams            7. Feel better? Good now sit back and
                                           relax with your favourite book!

                                                       My Travels.....
                                            I have been in many places, but
                                               I've never been in Cahoots.
                                             Apparently, you can't go alone.
                                             You have to be in Cahoots with
                   October                              someone.
                                           I've also never been in Cognito. I
                  November                 hear no one recognizes you there.
           16th Sue & Colin Eccles          I have, however, been in Sane.
                                             They don't have an airport; you
                                             have to be driven there. I have
made several trips there, thanks to            lust. Many men obtain a major portion of their
  my friends, family and work.                 sexual satisfaction from the peaceful
                                               exhaustion immediately after the act is over.
I would like to go to Conclusions,             Thus the wife must ensure that there is no
 but you have to jump, and I'm not             peace in this period for him to enjoy.
                                               Otherwise he might be encouraged to soon
   too much on physical activity               try for more.
              anymore.                            However – if your husband needs a
                                               bit of improvement on the Romance side
I have also been in Doubt. That is                      of things take him to see
  a sad place to go, and I try not to           ‘Hope Springs’ a delightful movie with
        visit there too often.                    Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones
                                                               – it’s a hoot!
  I've been in Flexible, but only
  when it was very important to
            stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I
go there more often as I'm getting
                                               WHAT’S HAPPENING IN LIONS ON THE NEW
                                                         ZEALAND FRONT
One of my favorite places to be is
 in Suspense! It really gets the                      Young Speech Maker of the Year
adrenalin flowing and pumps up
         the old heart!                        The national finals of the Lions Clubs Young
At my age I need all the stimuli I             Speechmaker contest were held at Botany
             can get!                          Downs Secondary College, Howick, Auckland
                                               yesterday. 121 students entered the contest
                                               held recently in seven Lions districts
                                               throughout the country, with 16 going through
                                               to the final.
    “You don't stop laughing
                                               Sponsored by Entertainment International NZ
   because you grow old. You                   Ltd, the annual event has been held for over
   grow old because you stop                   40 years, with this year’s winner receiving a
   laughing.” - Michael Pritchard              trip to Canada and the United States during
                                               the Christmas/New Year holidays. Second
“I was brought up to respect my elders,        place-getter receives a trip to Australia, and
so now I don't have to respect anybody.”       third place receives a placement at an
- George Burns                                 international youth camp at Lake Okataina
                                               near Rotorua.
“If I could get back my youth, I'd do
anything in the world except get up early,     The winner was Thomas Moss sponsored by
take exercise or be respectable.”              Hamilton-Chartwell Lions Club, which is our
- Oscar Wilde                                  district of course - District 202L. Second
                                               place was Oscar Shaw sponsored by Karori
  SEX Advice to new brides circa 1894:         Lions Club, District 202M. Third was Manisha
    Thankfully the times have changed!         Saini, sponsored by Tokoroa & Districts Lions
                                               Club, District 202L. – also our District. So GO
The wise bride will permit a maximum of two    202L!
brief sexual experiences weekly — and as                                 ***
time goes by she should make every effort to     LIONS DAUGHTER WINS GOLD AT THE
reduce this frequency. Feigned illness,                    RECENT PARALYMPICS
sleepiness and headaches are among her         Silverstream Lions Daughter Mary Fisher was
best friends in this matter. A selfish and     triumphant at the recent Paralympics in
sensual husband can easily take advantage      London. Silverstream Lion, Mike Fisher and
of his wife. One cardinal rule of marriage     wife, Jenny, are the proud parents and have
should never be forgotten: Give little; give   had great support from the club. A ticker tape
seldom and above all give really grudgingly.   parade was planned for Mary's home coming.
Otherwise what could have been a proper
marriage could become an orgy of sexual
          Talking books take                         In 1996 Papakura Lions purchased a lens meter and
       Technological leap forward                    other necessary equipment to process eye-glass
                                                     recycling after a need was identified to supply
Lions clubs from District 202K (the north of the
                                                     spectacles to aid people in Fiji and other Pacific Islands.
North Island) are involved in a joint project with
                                                     Glasses are received from all over the North Island.
the Foundation of the Blind, the B-Speak
                                                     They are sorted for reading glasses that are then
Project, to assist with the changeover from tape
                                                     checked for cracks, scratches and screws tightened
recorder-type talking book machines to new ‘B-
                                                     before being washed in an ultrasonic washer and dried.
Speak’ digital computerised CD players, which
                                                     They then have their prescription recorded and are
will make it cheaper for the Foundation to
                                                     packed for delivery. BRING your old glasses to the
produce copy and deliver talking books to their
                                                     next meeting and we can send them off to be re-
members. Each B-Speak player costs $900,
                                                     cycled and put to good use by the Papakura Lions
and the Warkworth Lions Club has been able to
provide five such machines to their community.
District 202K as a whole has donated $27,957                       What’s Cooking?
to the project which equates to 31 units. The                        Apricot Brownies
Foundation has placed an order for another            1 cup chopped dried Apricots (you can use tinned
2000 B-Speak units and is looking to the Lions                            Apricots)
                                                     1 cup Apricot Yogurt
clubs to assist and give support where they
                                                     200 grams Butter
can. This might be an idea for a future              1 Cup Brown Sugar
fundraising project??                                3 eggs
                                                     1 teaspoon Vanilla essence
     An Annual Art Contest for Kids                  1 ¼ cups flour 2 teaspoons icing sugar
                                                     Method: Mix Apricots and yogurt together and set
Each year, Lions clubs around the world              aside while preparing remaining ingredients. Melt
proudly sponsor the Lions International              butter in a saucepan large enough to mix ll the
Peace Poster Contest in local schools and            ingredients. Remove from heat and mix in brown
youth groups. This art contest for kids              sugar. Add eggs and heat with a wooden spoon
encourages young people worldwide to                 until combined. Add Vanilla and Apricot yogurt
express their visions of peace. For 25 years,        mixture until combined. Sift flour and baking
more than four million children from nearly          powder into mixture and beat until combined.
100 countries have participated in the
contest.                                             Line an 18 x 27 cm sponge roll tin with baking
                                                     paper. (I used a square cake tin). Pour mixture
                                                     into this and bake at 180 degrees for 40 minutes
The theme of the 2012-13 Peace Poster                or until brownie springs back when lightly touched.
Contest is "Imagine Peace." Students, ages           Dust with icing sugar. If serving as a dessert, cut
11, 12 or 13 on November 15, are eligible to         into 8 pieces and serve warm with cream, sauce,
participate. Perhaps we can look at                  ice cream etc.
approaching local schools to see if they
would be interested in participating?                Micro-waved Lemon Curd
                                                     Juice & finely grated rind of 4 large lemons
               CLUB SURVEY                           185g unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
Thank you to all the members who have                3/4 cup (185g) caster sugar
already returned their completed survey              4 large fresh eggs, well beaten
forms. It would be appreciated if all                Prep: 15 minutes | Cook: 4 minutes
completed forms can be returned before the           Put 2 clean jars to warm in a slow oven while
next meeting so they can be processed. The           you make the curd. Put the lemon juice and
results will be really useful to your executive      rind in a medium microwave-able bowl. Stir in
committee, and to members in general I am            the sugar and butter, cut into small pieces.
sure, as they will help us with future               Microwave, stirring often, until the butter and
succession, event and fundraising planning.          sugar are melted but the liquid is not too hot-
                                                     about 60 seconds. Whisk in the eggs
   Eye glasses for the Pacific Islands               vigorously in a thin, steady stream until very
 In 1925 Helen Keller, a woman who had been          well combined. Give the whole a quick whisk.
blind and deaf since childhood, challenged Lions     Microwave on full for 2 minutes without
to become "Knights of the Blind" in a crusade        opening the door. Remove and whisk very
against darkness. Lions accepted Helen’s             well. Allow to stand for 1 minute. Microwave
challenge and there are now a number of              on full for another 1 minute then spoon into
programmes that Lions are involved with              the warmed jars. Allow to get completely cold
worldwide, particularly in third world countries.    before sealing.

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