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					 ALWAYS TRUTHFUL                                             SEPTEMBER 24, 2009                                                 ALWAYS FREE

 By   Bob Boblaw
        antastic. Like this country needs         ization is supposed to be helping poor peo-      The city never sleeps.
 F      another scandal. Believe it or not, the
        conservatives did something right this
 time. Through dirty politics they have
 managed to cut funds to ACORN.
                                                  ple, not exploiting them. How come the
                                                  government doesn’t know where every
                                                  cent of our money is going?
                                                       Luckily, Congress got off its butt and
                                                                                                   Better slip you an Ambien.
                                                                                                   By The NewYorker
       ACORN (Association of Community            immediately cut funding to ACORN. But                 t’s 6 AM and I’m waiting for the E train
 Organizers from Reform Now) is a leftist,
 non-profit organization that provides serv-
 ices such as housing and voter
 registration for low-income
                                                  just because they cut the funding doesn’t
                                                  mean the money will be saved or spent
                                                  somewhere else legitimately. They say it
                                                  will be going “somewhere else like
                                                                                                   I    to take me to JFK for my flight to LA.
                                                                                                        There’s an alarm blaring near the just re-
                                                                                                   paired escalator with the police tape still
                                                                                                   wrapped around the post rails like an obscene
 communities. Seems like                          ACORN”. Well, it would be nice to                grand opening ribbon.
 they are a pretty typical or-                    know where wouldn’t it? Shouldn’t we                    Goodbye, NewYork.
 ganization right? Wrong.                           know where our money is going?                        I was planning on writing about a won-
       Two conservative                                If this money is going to another or-       derful hamburger recipe I perfected with
 activists, one posing as a                             ganization like ACORN, how do we           tequila BBQ sauce with white horse radish, a
 prostitute and another as a                              know that this other organization        wonderful ying yang of flavors. But some-
 pimp, brought a hidden                                    isn’t doing the same thing              thing keeps harping at me like that brain-
 camera to the Baltimore,                                    ACORN has done or even                drilling alarm:
 Washington D.C., and                                        something worse? How do we                   The 2009VMA awards.
 Brooklyn offices and                                         know that the money is actually             After all the kiss-and-make-up of the
 filmed the employees                                          going towards helping people in     evening, it was the finale by Jay-Z and Alicia
 telling them how to                                           need?                               Keys. The live rendition of Empire State of
 bring in women from                                               Sure the conservatives who      Mind. It epitomizes the direction hip-hop has
 Mexico to be employed                                       got these videos were playing         taken.While Muhammed Ali could rant “I
 as prostitutes. Of course                                    dirty and seemed a little desper-    am the Greatest of all time,” today’s hip-hop
 these videos were released                                   ate to dig up any dirt on the lib-   artists feel their music needs be nothing more
 some time ago. There has                                      erals, but aren’t we better off     than a resume of non accomplishment set to
 been a fourth video released of                                knowing that taxes are not         rhyme.
 a California ACORN em-                                         going towards prostitution? If            While the majority of hip-hop is still
 ployee giving the activist the-                                 these people hadn’t exposed       about Ho’s, gin and juice, bling, booty, short-
 same advice as the other three.                                  ACORN, how long would            ies and cops, the new voice is self-aggrandiz-
       Here’s the real problem:                                   this have gone on?               ing, shameless self-promotion to the point of
 As if our tax dollars haven’t                                     How can we elect officials to   disbelief. The king of this genre is Jay-Z, and
 been wasted enough, Con-                                          run this country, when we       it reaches a new high in pomposity with New
 gress has given $53 million                                       can hardly trust them? The      York State of Mind. Forget Billy Joel. Forget
 dollars to ACORN so far. How                                      scary part is that ACORN        the Sinatra rendition of NewYork NewYork.
 much of that went towards exploits like          had close to ties to Obama’s campaign.The        Jay-Z pumps his own ego with lyrics like:
 these? Is this why our parents pay taxes?        big question is how much Obama knows -
 For national prostitution rings? This organ-     - or knew -- before the scandal hit.                                           See AMBIEN, page 4

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                                                                                                                                                                 Page 2

                                                          The high school newspaper without the high school.

                 Why Obama Health Care is Dying                                                                        Lights, Camera, Mannywood!
                                                                                                                       By Blue Ice
 ByThe Old Fart
     n case you were wondering why Presi-                          what was going to change or how Obama                        he Los Angeles Dodgers are tuning up
 I   dent Obama’s health care reform pack-
     age isn’t exactly humming along to
 success, you can get in line. Apparently, no-
 body seems to know what the new plan is
                                                                   intended to change it. When he was inau-
                                                                   gurated, a nation full of supporters danced
                                                                   and sang about “a brand new day.”
                                                                         And it was -- except nobody knew
                                                                                                                       T        for postseason play. In recent weeks,
                                                                                                                                the Colorado Rockies have gone on
                                                                                                                       various winning streaks. The Dodger lead at
                                                                                                                       one point was down to just to two games.
 about -- and that includes your Congress-                         what day it was.                                    However, each time the Rockies came with
 men and Senators.                                                       Fast forward to today, where everyone         an attack, the Dodgers brought their own to
      At last count Obama’s proposals meas-                        seems to agree that our health care system          keep a steady lead.
 ured over 1,000 pages in length, a document                       needs to be changed. But nobody in office                 As the Dodgers wind down their regular
 proving so unwieldly that everyone who’s                                       seems to be able to point to one       season a lot can be said about a team and
 been asked confessess to not having read it -                                     specific example of how to          what they are out to prove. For the rest of the
 - including the President himself. That’s not                                     change it. And if they can’t        regular season the Dodgers will have to “fine
 terribly unusual, of course. There are those                                      explain it to the public, how       tune” what they have. That can range from
 who profess that President George                                                do they expect anyone to line        recovering from injuries to working on hit-
 W. Bush wasn’t even capable of                                                  up and support it?                    ting.
 reading a stop sign.                                                                    Because Obama’s team                About two weeks ago it seemed like
      But I digress.                                                                       hasn’t been specific at     Manny Mania was gone. But the slugger has
      The thing that gets me                                                                 all, they’ve left them-   come back strong with something to prove.
 is that since nobody really                                                                     selves open to all    We all know Manny can be a reliable hitter,
 understands what all these                                                                        kinds of opposi-    but this is much more than just hitting. It’s a
 new health care proposals                                                                          tion tactics,      quest to get a ring for the City of Angels.
 are, how can they argue for its                                                                    namely rumor-            The Dodgers are on a mission to bring a
 passage or defeat? Turns out we’ve                                                               mongering and        ring to Dodgertown. However it will come
 been down this road before: All you                                                           hysteria. Town hall     with costs. Not only will the Dodgers have
 have to do is look at Obama’s elec-                                                        meetings are all-out       to hit, field and pitch well, but they’ll also
 tion campaign of 2008.                                                             free-for-alls, featuring simple-   need some luck.
      As far back as 2007, Obama was                                                minded automatons foaming                The duty of the fans is to cheer as loud
 skipping around the country, focusing                                               at the mouth, spewing all         and as long as we can. Expectations are at an
 on voters’ discontent with the                                                       kinds of misinformation          all time high, but fans should just keep enjoy-
 Bush/Cheney Old-White-Guys-                                                           programmed into them by         ing this magical season and look forward to
 Have-Had-Their-Turn campaign.                                                        media pundits who know           playoffs at the ravine.
 He clearly was the right guy in the right                         nothing about policy, but everything about                Only then will the ravine turn into a
 place at the right time. He wasn’t white. He                      boosting ratings.                                   jewel box for MANNYWOOD!
 wasn’t old. And he wasn’t Republican. So                                The health care system in this country
 Obama centered on one word:
                                                                   is sick and not getting better. The guys in
                                                                   charge of fixing it are supposed to be our
                                                                                                                       The Recession is Over
                                                                                                                       By Rich Moneyman
      But while it seemed everyone was for                         best and brightest. Right.
 change, nobody ever bothered to ask about                               And they all went to college.                          ou are a part of history. You get to tell

                                                                                                                       Y        your kids and grandchildren how you
                                                                                                                                lived through “the worst recession
                                                                                                                       since the Great Depression.” But you better
                                                                                                                       get your stories while you can:
                      Ricky Frankel
                                                                                                                             This recession is done. The recovery has
         All articles and images contained herein are the sole                                                         already started.
  property of the authors and contributors, to whom we are                                                                   While it’s true that unemployment is at
  grateful. The Calabasas Free Press provides a voice to all                                                           12% in California, that’s the wrong place to
  those who wish to express their views.                                                                               look for a recovery. In a capitalist system, you
         Articles, news, opinions and images are gladly wel-
  comed via upload at:                                                              always look for where the money is. And in
  You may upload anonymously, but we ask you submit a                                                                  America, that’s Wall Street.
  real e-mail address so that we can contact you if necessary.                                                               In September, 2008, the Dow Industrial
  The publishers reserve the right to determine which con-                                                             average was around 14,000. In March, 2009,
  tent is or is not published in the Calabasas Free Press and do
  their best to assure the veracity of each and every item                                                             it sank to around 6,000. As of September,
  published.                                                                                                           2009, the Dow is near 10,000 -- which
         Letters to the editor may be e-mailed to:                                                                     means it gained back 40% in only six months.                                                                                 It took years for that to happen the first time.
         Submission of a letter to the editor grants the Cal-                                                                The people on Wall Street are ready to
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  whole as the publishers see fit.                                                                                     invest and lend the money that fuels our
                                                                                                                       economy. Get ready to rock!
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                                                                                                                                                 Page 3

                                                     The Kanye Conspiracy
                                                                   By Optimus Prime
       unday, September 13, 2009 was the             coming up if they really wanted to.                  people were becoming less civilized and re-
 S     night everyone got played. Beyonce
       won “BestVideo of theYear” for her
 music video of Single Ladies. After Kanye
 West supposedly shocked everyone with his
                                                           Now, you may be thinking, “Hey, why
                                                     would they stage something like that that
                                                     would give Kanye a bad rep?” Well my
                                                     friends, if you haven’t noticed already,
                                                                                                          spectful when the kids in my classes com-
                                                                                                          pletely stopped respecting teachers, but now
                                                                                                          it seems to be happening on a more global
                                                                                                          scale and in more outrageous ways.
 “surprising” comments, Beyonce went up              CONTROVERSY SELLS IN AMER-                                 It’s happening in sports too. Like on
 to make her acceptance speech. “I remem-            ICA. Kanye says a few stupid things on               September 12, 2009, when pro tennis ath-
 ber being 17 years old, up for my first MTV         stage, and is seen as ‘the bad guy’, the world       lete, Serena Williams, totally went off on a
 award with Destiny’s Child and it was one           pities Taylor, and Beyonce gets her title as         line judge at a match against Kim Clijsters.
 of the most exciting moments in my life. So         the hero. And what’s the result of all this?         The judge called a foot fault on one of
 I’d like for Taylor                                                                 They all get a       Williams’ serves, and Serena reacted by first
 to come out,                                                                        little publicity,    staring her down, and then proceeding to
 and have her                                                                        because bad          curse and threaten to shove a tennis ball
 moment.” Tay-                                                                       publicity is bet-    down her throat. Clijsters was awarded a
 lor came back                                                                       ter than no          point for Serena’s conduct violation.
 out on stage, and                                                                   publicity. This is         Even worse is when this social inde-
 continued her                                                                       all that people      cency occurs in politics. For example, Sep-
 acceptance                                                                          have been talk-      tember 15,2009, during President Obama’s
 speech that was                                                                     ing about.           speech on healthcare reform when Senator
 supposedly inter-                                                                   Kanye even got       Joe Wilson interrupted the president, ex-
 rupted by Kanye.                                                                    his own little       claiming, “YOU LIE!” right in the middle
       After find-                                                                   spot on the Jay      of Obama’s speech.
 ing out about all                                                                   Leno Show,                 I mean seriously people. The line judge
 theVMA drama,                                                                       which boosted        incident is just a small example of how dis-
 I was thinking                                                                      his popularity,      respectful people are becoming. They tell
 the same thing                                                                      and whoa, even       you to respect the referee’s decisions as far
 as everyone else:                                                                   gave Leno            back as little league, so really that one was
 “Wow, that was                                                                      higher ratings       just common sense. Kanye’s outburst, if real,
 dickish of Kanye.”, “Poor Taylor, that really       because everyone was so curious about                was totally disrespectful too. But the frickin
 sucks for her”, and “That was really classy of      what Kanye had to say for himself.                   President of the United States?
 Beyonce.” But, hey, that’s if all of it was real.         I hadn’t seen EITHER of Taylor                       That’s kinda ridiculous, guys. And it
 And, yeah, I have reason to believe that it         Swift’s or Beyonce’s music videos, but after         definitely says a lot about our society when
 wasn’t.                                             hearing what happened, I looked both of              even our politicians are turning out to be
       First of all, there’s the dress dilemma. If   them up. So that gives Beyonce and Taylor            discourteous and uncivilized.
 anyone noticed, the first time Taylor Swift         one more view of each of their music
 went up to accept her award, she wore a             videos (or in Beyonce’s case, EXCUSE for a
 glittery white gown. The second time,
 when Beyonce called her up, she wore a
                                                     music video) And Kanye gets his 15 minutes
                                                     of fame, because after all this controversy and       GRAB THOUSANDS
 short red dress— not to mention the
 EXACT same color as Beyonce’s. Besides
                                                     people calling him an asshole or a jerk,
                                                     they’re gonna forget about it all and go back
                                                                                                          OF HIGH SCHOOL KIDS
 the fact that her dress matched Beyonce’s,
 don’t you find it a little weird that she actu-
                                                     to listening to his music. He’s too big for
                                                     something this trivial to completely ruin his
                                                                                                           BY THEIR EYEBALLS
 ally changed to go back on stage? Now, I get        career. It certainly didn’t stop people from
 that celebrities change their outfits at awards     buying his stuff after his other social blun-                       It’s cheap.
 ceremonies. I mean, they might have their           ders. For example, at the 2007 MTV
 red carpet dress, their ceremony dress, or          EMA’s, when his Touch the Sky clip lost and                          It’s easy.
 their performing outfit. But if someone             he leapt onstage, interrupted the winners
 changes, then what they’re about to do is ob-
 viously planned. And Kanye’s little faux pas
                                                     and argued that his video deserved to win
                                                     because it “cost a million dollars and Pamela
                                                                                                                         It works.
 must have been planned if Taylor had her            Anderson was in it.”
 “After-Kanye-Rudely-Interrupts-Me-And-                    Now I’m not saying that this whole                  Create your ad, upload it
 Beyonce-Calls-Me-Back-Up-On-Stage”                  thing was definitely staged, but don’t you                   and you’re done.
 dress with her.                                     find this all a little odd? I know for me, the
       Not enough proof? Well, how about             evidence just makes it all too obvious that
 the fact that Kanye has a history of rude or        the media got us again.
 interruptive outbursts at award ceremonies,
 yet people let him up on stage anyway?
                                                           You could look at this all differently.
                                                     Maybe Kanye’s gaffe was real. If that’s the
                                                                                                              ADVERTISE IN THE
 And believe me, there were enough people
 on stage that could have stopped him from
                                                     case, it just makes me lose more hope in
                                                     what our society’s becoming. I knew that
                                                                                                          CALABASAS FREE PRESS
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                                                                                                                                Page 4

               Liberals, Conservatives & Guns                                               WHY AREN’T YOU
 By weilcard
                                                                                            WRITING FOR US?
         a ever notice how people who are     without guns. Wouldn't that suck? Every-        Your story is more interesting than
 Y       so-called “conservatives” own hand
         guns? And why is it that most so
 called “Democrats” seem to favor more
 gun control policy? Aren't the
                                              one would just have to talk their problems
                                              out and maybe that's a world I just don't
                                                 want to live in. Maybe that's a world
                                                   that just doesn't work for me.
                                                                                                 you think. Why not share it?
                                                                                              Submit it anonymously, if you wish.
 Democrats the liberals? If                             If I had to live in a world where
 anything, I would say that                          every single time I had a dispute I
 the conservatives are the lib-                        had to talk it out and listen to theSUBMIT YOUR STORY
 erals because of how liberal                            other person's argument I would
 they are with their guns.                               not exist.                         TO THE CALABASAS
      Mind fuck isn't it? Just
 when you thought politics
                                                              There's a certain inalienable
                                                         truth, an unalienable right that we   FREE PRESS
 is about to get easy, they throw                        are on the fringes of losing. So
 you another curve ball.                               when you go in those polls this       AMBIEN, continued
      Let’s face it folks: guns are                    November, support the people                  I’m the new Sinatra
 cool. There's nothing queer                             who support guns.                           and since I made it here
 about it (except, maybe, the                                 If you can figure out who              I can make it anywhere
 shape). But just think of a world                         they are.                                 Yeah they love me everywhere
                                                                                            Rhyming into a microphone about
                                                                                       yourself and sampling don’t make you any-
                                                                                       where near as famous and important a figure
                                                                                       as the Chairman of the Board. If Sinatra
                                                                                       were alive, I’m sure Mr. Z would have gotten
                                                                                       a tap on the shoulder. But Jay-Z doesn’t stop
                                                                                       there. He also takes on the number one
                                                                                       sports franchise in the world
                                                                                                I made you hot nigga
                                                                                                Catch me at the X
                                                                                                with OG at aYankee game
                                                                                                shit I made the yankee hat
                                                                                                more famous than a yankee can
                                                                                            Really? I’m sure you influence so many
                                                                                       Japanese all over the world and all the other
                                                                                       consumers of the most famous logo in all of
                                                                                       sport (the interlocking “NY”).
                                                                                            Now bring it all back home to the
                                                                                       VMAs. Jay-Z is married to Beyonce. While
                                                                                       mildly shocked by Kanye’s outburst, she was
                                                                                       actually pleased by it. Read her lips. “Oh
                                                                                            Her gracious behavior towards Taylor
                                                                                       Swift was a no brainer and a bit staged.The
                                                                                       truth which no one will admit to is that Jay-
                                                                                       Z, Beyonce and Kanye hijacked theVMAs.
                                                                                       Kanye mugged an innocent country music
                                                                                       singer who could not fight back at this hip-
                                                                                       hop mafia.
                                                                                            You think Kanye would have dared do
                                                                                       that to Lil Kim? He’d have been cut or shot
                                                                                       right there on stage.
                                                                                            Now that would have been a ratings
                                                                                            No, he picked on an easy mark.And it
                                                                                       was to showcase the power of the Axis of
                                                                                       Hop. MTV you have been punked and so
                                                                                       have all your viewers.
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