ENGLISH 110: SOLBERG

							                                      ENGLISH 110: SOLBERG
                               ESSAY #6: ARGUMENT USING SOURCES
                                  DRAFT TWO PEER EVALUATION

Reader’s Name ___________________                                      Writer’s Name _________________
                                    Please print double-sided if possible. Use 1-inch margins
  Following the instruction should make peer evaluation go faster, so if you do not usually follow them, try
                               doing so this time! (B and C are especially helpful.)
Instructions:
A. Re-read the essay assignment sheet.
B. Read the essay, but make no marks: just read to try to understand it.
C. Read the peer evaluation questions but do not answer them yet.
D. Read the essay again, making any comments or writing any questions you have on the actual paper as you go
     along.
E. Complete the peer evaluation questions (type or handwrite; be sure to number your answers; if you type
     your answers right after the questions, put your answers in bold so they are easy to read):
        focus mostly on making specific suggestions for improvement but also praise effective parts specifically.
        Try not to give one-word answers to complicated questions; go in depth and be as specific as possible.
        If you see a problem, say WHERE and WHY you see it.
        Refer to actual words and sentences in the paper.
F. Writers should submit the PE sheets filled out on their own essays with their final draft.
Grading: Peer evaluation is worth TEN POINTS toward the process portion of your essay grade. You will also
receive quiz grades based on how thoroughly you evaluate your peers' essays in your written comments and in your
comments during the PE meeting.

I. ORGANIZATION PART I
1. Underline the thesis statement.
2. Number each paragraph and underline the topic sentence of each paragraph. If the paragraph lacks
    a clear topic sentence, write TS? next to the paragraph.
3. Next to each paragraph, list its function, choosing from the list below:
     defines the issue
     states the central claim (states the position and maybe makes a proposal too)
     gives a reason that supports the claim (including why use of ne-drugs is good/bad, why certain
         criteria are necessary for a drug to be good/bad, reasons that support causal arguments, and
         reasons that support a proposal)
     anticipates and responds to objections or questions (rebuttals; may be part of another paragraph)
    If you cannot identify a paragraph’s function or if the paragraph is trying to do more than one thing,
    make a note in the margin. However, it MAY be okay if a paragraph includes a rebuttal in a
    paragraph where a reason is also being asserted.
4. Circle any transitional words or phrases used between paragraphs. Write Trans? wherever the writer
    needs a transition between paragraphs.
  FOR THE REMAINING QUESTIONS, REMEMBER TO GIVE SPECIFIC SUGGESTIONS FOR ANY
                            PROBLEMS THAT YOU SEE
II. INTRODUCTION AND FOCUSED PRESENTATION OF THE ISSUE:
1. Does the introduction address the specific ideas of the essay and the issues the paper will discuss
      rather than making cosmic or overly broad assertions such as “since the beginning of time” or “all
      people like to have fun” or “neuro-enhancing drugs is a complicated topic”?
2. Does the writer provide any unnecessary or inappropriate information, given the audience?
3. Does the writer put the argument into some sort of context so that the audience will know from what
      direction the writer is approaching the issue? Make sure this context is specific -- be critical of any
      places where the writer makes broad, unsupported statements, such as “all drug use is dangerous” or
      “nowadays most students have tried neuro-enhancing drugs.” Does the writer also put the argument
      into some sort of context so that the audience will know why the writer is raising the issue? Beware
      of statements that assert a trend that may not be provable, such as “[some kind of behavior]
      has gotten worse/better.”
4. Can you tell the writer is addressing a specific audience? Will the introduction pull the readers in by
    interesting them in what will be discussed, and appealing to their concerns, values, and priorities? If
    so, how does the writer do so? If not, why not? What could the writer do better pull the audience in?
5. Does the writer explicitly define/explain/illustrate/give examples of all necessary terms?
6. If the writer discusses the criteria for a good/bad drug, do his/her reasons later tie back to these
    criteria, or are the criteria not really connected to the overall argument?
7. Does the writer establish any credibility by using sources to demonstrate he/she understands what is
    at stake and is well-educated on it and/or by providing relevant personal experience from her/himself
    or others?
8. Does the intro include a central claim/thesis? If not, should it, or is it positioned okay?
9. Does the intro set up the argument enough for you without repeating points better made elsewhere?
    Should the writer add forecasting if s/he does not forecast, or does s/he she forecast too much?
10. Does the introduction need to be developed? Does it give you enough of a sense of where the essay
    is going?
III. CLEAR POSITION:
1. What is the paper’s central claim/thesis?
2. Should the writer focus the central claim/thesis (including any proposal made) more narrowly or
      qualify it more? What terms does s/he need to define more precisely? What questions do you have
      about what s/he means?
3. Is the central claim/thesis awkward, wordy, vague, or hard to follow? Does it stray from the assigned
      topic?
4. Does the central claim/thesis accurately state what the essay actually argues? Are all aspects of the
      argument included (for instance if the writer makes a proposal, does s/he end up actually arguing for
      it?)?
5. If the central claim/thesis includes reasons that support the position, are ALL the reasons included
      AND are they listed in the same order in which they are discussed in the essay?
6. Does the central claim/thesis come soon enough for you to follow the argument?
IV. PLAUSIBLE REASONS AND CONVINCING SUPPORT
Part A. For the questions below, answer each question separately for each reason, so that you
have a little list of answers for each reason – looking something like this:
                         REASON 1:
                         1.Write out the reason.
                         2. Answer to question 2.
                         3. Answer to questions 3.
                         Etc. (answer ALL questions)
                         REASON 2:
                         1.Write out the reason.
                         2. Answer to question 2.
                         3. Answer to questions 3.
                         Etc. (answer ALL questions)

1. List the writer’s reason.
2. Was this reason hard to find?
3. Is it a complete thought? If not, can you figure out what the complete thought could be?
4. What part of the central claim/thesis does this reason support?
5. Are any parts of the reason unclear or ambiguous? Does it have terms that need to be defined?
6. Is the reason an arguable assertion rather than a fact? If not, how can you transform the fact into
   an arguable assertion?
7. Does the reason make any assumptions? Are these assumptions reasonable or do they need to be
   justified? For instance, a reason may assume all students will follow rules, that no students will follow
   rules, that all drug use is harmless, or that all drug use is dangerous: all of these would need
   justification.
8. Does the reason connect logically and clearly to the central claim/thesis (is it relevant)? If not, how
   could the writer alter the thesis OR the reason to make it relevant OR should the writer eliminate the
   reason?
9. Does it contradict any of the other points the essay makes (is it consistent)?
10. Are any parts of the reason unclear or ambiguous? Will any terms, such as “responsible,” “harmful,”
    or “smart” need to be defined?
11. Does the writer support the reason (and assertions made to support that reason) with
    SPECIFIC examples, anecdotes, statistics, facts, authorities, and explanation? Is there
    SUFFICIENT (enough) evidence to support the reason? Is the evidence PRIMARILY FROM
    OUR WRITTEN SOURCES? Can you think of any other evidence the writer could add?
12. Does the evidence seem credible? Why or why not? Does the writer need to introduce the
    evidence better to increase its credibility?
13. Is the evidence RELEVANT – does it actually support the assertion? If not, how could the writer
    make it more relevant (perhaps by explaining the evidence better, leaving out irrelevant parts of the
    evidence, or choosing a different piece of evidence)?
14. Does the evidence do more than simply REPEAT the reason?
15. Does the writer explain exactly HOW the evidence supports the reason (perhaps by pointing
    out key words) rather than trying to let the evidence make the case for him/her, and does the
    explanation avoid simply repeating what the evidence says?
16. Does any of the evidence contradict any of the other points the essay makes (is it consistent)?
17. Does the writer overly rely on any one source for his/her evidence for the reason so that it ends up
    sounding like a repeat of the source itself or so that the argument lacks credibility? If so, what other
    sources could the writer use?
18. Does the writer have any documentation errors or any non-integrated quotations?
Part B.
1. Taking all the reasons together, does the writer have enough reasons to support her/his thesis? Has
    the writer left out any important reasons? (Are the reasons complete)?
             a) This question is especially important if the writer is making a proposal as well: s/he will
                  need reasons why the proposal will solve the problem and is feasible.
             b) This question also applies to any assumptions the writer is making about what results a
                  policy will produce. Thus, make sure the writer has included any necessary causal
                  arguments such as an argument supporting the assertion that use of neuro-enhancing
                  drugs will/does reduce/increase) a behavior.
             c) Finally, this question also applies to an essay that explains the criteria for a good/bad
                  drug: for example, if the writer asserts a good drug is one that causes no harm to others
                  but then never discusses harm to others in the essay, the argument is incomplete.
2. Are any of the reasons weak, overemphasized, or seem the same as other reasons in the essay?
    Should s/he leave any reasons out?
3. Overall, does the writer use enough of a variety of sources?
V. REBUTTALS:
Like you did with the reasons, answer the following questions SEPARATELY for EACH rebuttal in
the essay. [Note: the rebuttals may appear within a paragraph that also addresses a reason, may appear
as a separate paragraph, or may be within a paragraph that addresses several rebuttals.]
1. List the objection or question the writer addresses. You should be able to write each one as a
    complete sentence.
2. Is this objection or question valid – would someone on the other side really bring up this point?
3. Does the writer provide cues for the objection or question and response so you can tell which side the
    writer is on?
4. Is the objection developed enough?
5. Is the response effective and direct? Does it use sufficient and relevant evidence?
6. Does s/he rebut it so that her/his argument still seems stronger than the opposition’s? Should s/he
    refute rather than counterargue or vice versa?
7. Is the rebuttal placed in a good spot in the essay, or should it be moved (if so, where?)?
8. **What are some objections or questions s/he has overlooked?**
VI. TONE AND AUDIENCE:
1. Does the writer keep his/her audience in mind throughout the essay rather than lapsing into writing for
   a vague audience (or for the professor)?
2. Does the writer show respect for the audience’s concerns and priorities?
3. Do you think the audience will be persuaded by the argument? Why/why not?
4. How could the writer improve her/his tone to better anticipate what the audience will need in order to
   be persuaded? For example, does s/he need to be bolder, more cautious, friendlier, more strident,
   etc.?
VII. CONCLUSION:
1. Does the writer’s conclusion recap the central points of the paper without simply repeating previous
     sentences word for word?
2. Does the essay conclude decisively and memorably? Can the writer better appeal to the audience’s
     concerns, values, and priorities? What would make the conclusion work more effectively, especially in
     terms of pathos?
VIII. ORGANIZATION PART II:
1. Does each paragraph talk about only one main idea? If not, should the writer eliminate or move ideas
     in any paragraphs to other paragraphs or should the writer make any single paragraph into two or
     more paragraphs?
2. Does any paragraph seem too short or underdeveloped? If so, should the writer develop the
     paragraph, eliminate it, or combine it with another paragraph?
3. Do any paragraphs seem disorganized, as if the writer has thrown together a bunch of ideas rather
     than connecting them? Doe the writer repeat him/herself within a paragraph?
4. Does the writer jump from point to point without connecting ideas within any paragraphs?
5. Does the writer use effective transitions between paragraphs? Where does he need to strengthen
     transitions, and how could he do so?
6. Does the writer need to correct any broad usage of this/that/which/it?
IX. USING SOURCES.
1. Does the writer overuse sources so that others’ words seem to overwhelm the essay? If so, where
    could s/he delete some quotations?
2. Does the writer over-quote – that is, use a long quotation that s/he does not really discuss or need?
3. Does the writer include the source of the quotation in a signal phrase or a parenthetical citation
    (correctly)?
4. Does the writer give a context for sources – that is, say “according to a recent university study” rather
    than just refer to some statistics or say “in the New Yorker article” rather than saying “New Yorker
    journalist Margaret Talbot …”
5. Does the writer use the sources correctly in terms of paraphrasing vs. directly quoting?
6. Doe the writer use qtd. in where needed in his/her parenthetical citations?
7. Does the writer incorporate/integrate ALL his quotations into sentences or does he leave any
    dangling/dropped in as separate sentences?
8. Does the writer have a Works Cited page yet?
X. FINAL THOUGHTS. What is this draft’s strongest part? What part is most in need of further work?
    Any additional comments or suggestions?