OCT 2003 - Juggernuts….doc by shensengvf


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                   Archives: October 2003

                   Fri Oct 31, 2003
                                             Diet Update 031031
                                                   Not applicable
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 31, 03 | 1:38 pm | Profile

                             [3] comments (270 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                  You go Girls!!
A group of Catholic High School Girls kicked the ass of some perv after he exposed himself. They chased him thru
      the streets of Philly and then kicked his ass. I wonder if they were wearing those uniforms... More...
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 31, 03 | 10:51 am | Profile

                             [5] comments (323 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                              Dutch Stripper Wins Pole Dance Competition
     She's got my vote. Note that she has trouble passing traffic signs without wanting to give a pole dance...

                                Stripper scoops World Pole Dance Championship

            Dutch stripper Denise Mulder has been crowned the World Pole Dance Champion in the US.

    Denise, 29, who was previously crowned Dutch Miss Striptease 2002, says she has been overwhelmed by the
success of her Lara Croft routine. Denise, from Gouda, said: "I had never dared to dream this. I knew that I would
attract attention with my pole dance act, but I had never expected that they would reward me in America with this

Denise's sexy act combines a potent mixture of pole dancing and stripping. The blonde says she is always willing to
     practice her moves "I even have trouble passing road traffic signs without wanting to dance," she said.
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 31, 03 | 7:44 am | Profile

                            [7] comments (1012 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                 'Well, You Try To Reconstruct Iraq,' Says U.S. Defensive Dept
                                         Posted at the Request of keith

                                                Found on The Onion
   WASHINGTON, DC—Responding to recent criticism of reconstruction efforts in Iraq, the U.S. Defensive
   Department released a statement to the public Monday suggesting that perhaps they could do better, since
                                         they're obviously so smart.

                                  Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 31, 03 | 7:30 am | Profile

                               [2] comments (237 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

                        Hideous Great Hooter!

  Yarbz Caption: Barbwire Strand is preparing to auction off several personal items for charities close to her heart. She
  notes that, because her heart is so tiny, the charity list is also. The charities include, Bitches for Torturous Dictators,
 Rich, Liberal Scumbags Anonymous and Overrated Vocalist Whores for Peace No Matter the Cost. Some of the items up
 for auction are the panties she wore during the first Clinton inaugural (sealed in a plastic bag), her famous single cupped
    nose support bra and an actual head x-ray showing the hollow skull cavity which gives her that famous singing voice.

Original Caption: Entertainer Barbra Streisand is to auction off hundreds of her outfits and items of personal memorabilia
 for the first time to benefit charities close to her heart. Streisand arrives to the premiere of 'A Guy Thing' on January
                                      14, 2003 in Los Angeles. (Adrees Latif/Reuters)
                                    Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 31, 03 | 6:34 am | Profile

                               [2] comments (217 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                               Thu Oct 30, 2003

                                                   The Beer Story:
The following was written on a Jeep trip during the hot days of summer when my friend Shaun, Mariann and I were
                             driving up to Massachusetts to drink beer and play Keno.

                                                 Here is, The Beer Story:
  The Millers son is a stout and bitter Canadian lager whose back ales him. He would brewed all day and think of
   using his Colt 45 on his head. He could barley move and hops around. Of Coors he’s angry, you would be too!

  He met a woman and she was black and tan with a nice bass. He thought “That Heineken stop a Rolling Rock.”
                                  Before long they were the best of Buds.

They won lotto and bought a Newcastle where she would play the Harp. One day as she porter heart out to him and
              said they should be Fosters parents. She would Tsing Tau their new son, Sam Adams.

  The year was 1910 – and they bought a new car. Nobody had cars then and so they were the only Corona in the
 town. The only problem was Dos Equis little bugs on the windshield. They entered an auto race and won 1st prize,
                                    taking the coveted Pabst Blue Ribbon.

   His annual checkup revealed a Spaten his lung. He was not hoppy. He would not have time to exterminate the
                        burrowing Molson his lawn or tap into his 401K. It was a sad case.

He told his wife that since he lost his hair he wanted her to Schaeffer Busch. But because her family lived by the
                                     German Purity Law she would not do that.

Their marriage was taking a Schlitz. How could they just Stroh’s it away? They listened to a Dixie Voodoo doctor
  who told them to hang a Moosehead over the door. All the inactivity resulted in Mr Miller getting a Fat Tire
around his waist. He also started drinking lots of beer and rudely Belgian ale in public. Soon it was World War I.
 Their son was called up in the draft and he became a Dead Guy when a keg of gunpowder exploded when he was
                                               Killian some Germans.
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 30, 03 | 5:55 pm | Profile

                            [2] comments (264 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                Phoenix Sheriff Runs Female Chain Gang
I reckon that Maricopa County AZ is one place you don't want to get in trouble. I have heard tales of this Sheriff
 previously and I struggle with the appropriateness of his actions. Part of me understands completely and part of
                                                 me is disgusted.

                           Full article displayed in MORE or click the linkage. More...
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 30, 03 | 1:41 pm | Profile

                            [1] comments (450 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Sent to me by an attorney friend:

                                             Accounts Receivable Tax
                                                Building Permit Tax
                                                 Capital Gains Tax
                                                  CDL license Tax
                                                   Cigarette Tax
                                              Corporate Income Tax
                                            Court Fines (indirect taxes)
                                                  Dog License Tax
                                                Federal Income Tax
                                       Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
                                                Fishing License Tax
                                                 Food License Tax
                                                  Fuel permit tax
                                        Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
                                                Hunting License Tax
                              Inheritance Tax Interest expense (tax on the money)
                             Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
                                        IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
                                                     Liquor Tax
                                                 Local Income Tax
                                                   Luxury Taxes
                                               Marriage License Tax
                                                   Medicare Tax
                                                   Property Tax
                                                  Real Estate Tax
                                                 Septic Permit Tax
                                               Service Charge Taxes
                                                Social Security Tax
                                           Road Usage Taxes (Truckers)
                                                    Sales Taxes
                                             Recreational Vehicle Tax
                                              Road Toll Booth Taxes
                                                    School Tax
                                                 State Income Tax
                                        State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
                                           Telephone federal excise tax
                                   Telephone federal universal service fee tax
                               Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
                                     Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
                               Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
                                           Telephone state and local tax
                                            Telephone usage charge tax
                                                 Toll Bridge Taxes
                                                 Toll Tunnel Taxes
                                         Traffic Fines (indirect taxation)
                                              Trailer registration tax
                                                   Utility Taxes
                                        Vehicle License Registration Tax
                                                 Vehicle Sales Tax
                                           Watercraft registration Tax
                                                  Well Permit Tax
                                            Workers Compensation Tax
COMMENTS: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the world,
had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
                What the hell happened?
  Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 30, 03 | 8:10 am | Profile

[9] comments (287 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

               Johnny Fubar Lyrics:

                   (Johnny Fubar 2003)

                You got a faulty education
                It was just indoctrination
                You got a faulty education
                It was just indoctrination
            Yeah it was certainly left of center
               It was clearly off the mark
                You got a faulty education
                It was just indoctrination

               You got leftwing propaganda
               Instead of math and history
               You got leftwing propaganda
               Instead of math and history
           You were fed the socialist ideologies
                With no option to disagree
             So, you got leftwing propaganda
               Instead of math and history

           They’re teaching socialist ideologies
           They’re teaching socialist ideologies
           They’re teaching socialist ideologies
           They’re teaching socialist ideologies

              “Tolerance” is their buzz word
              As long as you think like them
      You know that “tolerance” is their buzz word
            Just as long as you think like them
      If you stand for the “right” side point of view
             Don’t expect “tolerance” to apply
           Yeah “Tolerance” is their buzz word
              But to the right it won’t apply

                You got a faulty education
                It was just indoctrination
                You got a faulty education
                It was just indoctrination
            Yeah it was certainly left of center
               It was clearly off the mark
                You got a faulty education
                It was just indoctrination

           They’re teaching socialist ideologies
           They’re teaching socialist ideologies
           They’re teaching socialist ideologies
           They’re teaching socialist ideologies
             If you want to pass the courses
                 You better not disagree
           And if you want to pass the courses
               You had better not disagree
                                            You had better not disagree
                                            You had better not disagree
                                            You had better not disagree
                                            You had better not disagree
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 30, 03 | 7:59 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (221 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                         Winning the Culture Wars
I found this link over at Bloviating Inanities and spent the time to read it and was glad I did. South Park fans and
    conservatives will love it! Imagine that. My favorite quote from article is from the creator of South Park:

                 Matt Stone, sums it up: “I hate conservatives, but I really fucking hate liberals.”

                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 30, 03 | 7:40 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                         Here Comes My Left Side

                                      Published originally at EtherZone.com

                                              MAFIA TACTICS
                                        EXTORTING WEAKER NATIONS
                                               By: Ed Henry

"Whatever you contribute, it must be substantial." So spoke Secretary of State Colin Powell to the conference in
Madrid, a meeting of friendly nations too weak to defend themselves against the world’s strongest military turned

   The only things missing were the pin-stripped suit, the broad brimmed felt hat or fedora, and the bulge of a
  shoulder holster or sidearm tucked under an armpit. Other than that, Mr. Powell could be taken for any mafia
 henchman walking into a neighborhood candy store to sell the proprietor insurance. You do want to protect your
                                                place, don't you?
                               Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 30, 03 | 7:30 am | Profile

                            [15] comments (301 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Brain of Poo Award:

                                  Good God! It's Noam Chomsky!
Why the Brain of Poo Award?: Noam Chomsky is one of the most smelly Brain of Poo we have had the honor to choose! Why
he has not won previously, I guess can only be attributed to the fact that I didn't see a photo of him before now. This man
is a frickin' fecal mass. Not even. He is a puddle of fecal matter that is too runny to be a mass. As a matter of record, you
 should note that he is with another Brain of Poo, Fidel. Fidel is nowhere near the great hideous Brain of Poo that Chomsky
                                                          is however.

                                                Some Noam Chomsky Info:
                                           1) America’s Dumbest Intellectual
                                                     2) Some Blog

 Original Caption: Noam Chomsky(L), MIT professor of linguistics and philosophy, talks with Cuban President Fidel Castro
(news - web sites) at a conference of the Latin American Social Sciences Council (CLACSO), in Havana October 28, 2003.
 Chomsky, in a lecture attended by Castro, said President George W. Bush's administration will have to resort to a 'fear
   factor' and 'manufacture' a new threat to U.S. national security to win the 2004 elections. (Rafael Perez/Reuters)
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 30, 03 | 6:58 am | Profile

                               [1] comments (243 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

                                        Recycle Program Gargoyles
                                     Fearsome Cats Help Scare People into Recycling
 Yarbz Caption: In an effort to spur more recycling rather than discarding, local governments have been putting steroid
    pumped kittens in trash cans. The specially trained kittens have been taught to differentiate between recyclable
    containers and standard rubbish. When a person discards improperly, the kitten pops up and rips the flesh of the
 discarders’ hand. In post discarding interviews, most of the bleeding trash tossing malingerers state they will no longer
                throw away valuable, energy-saving aluminum can or other items that should be recycled.

Original Caption: A small kitten tries to escape its keeper's bicycle basket. Domestic cats, and not just wild animals, can be
                         infected by the SARS (news - web sites) virus.(AFP/File/Stephen Shaver)
                                     Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 30, 03 | 6:47 am | Profile

                               [3] comments (233 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                               Wed Oct 29, 2003

                                           From My Friend Doctor Love
A co-worker got a pen stuck inside the printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have
time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So
he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note. About 20 minutes later, one of
    my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to

                                        Now look at picture by clicking on More...
                                  Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 29, 03 | 2:55 pm | Profile

                               [3] comments (294 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                   Hold Your Noses!

                                         Here Comes The Sun Fart!
                                Taken October 28, 2003. The lares Sun Fart in years!
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 29, 03 | 11:24 am | Profile

                            [12] comments (301 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Sun Storm Eruption Biggest in Years
 Because of the sun storm's magnitude (it is an X17.2 for Pete's Sake!) and it's potential to impact my personal
    telecommunication equipment and my home gardening, I am putting together the following survival guide:

                                                  Shopping list:
                                            SPF 3 ba-zillion Sun Screen
Aluminum Foil (to keep the aliens out of my head and create a large tarp to cover my house so as to repel the solar
                                                 waves of doom)
                                                 New underwear
                                    1,000,000,000% UV protection sunglasses

                                                   Survival tips:
                                     Never stare directly at the solar flare(s).
                                   Try to avoid leaving pets and children in cars.
                                         Use cell phone sparingly, if at all.
                         Call your momma today, the phones might not work on Thursday.
              Try driving DE-fensively. Use your signals, remain at a safe speed, don't tailgate, etc...
                        Never watch "Friends" or "Sienfeld" re-runs during a solar storm.
                             Engage in as much wild and lacivious behavior as possible.
                                Avoid moving to Southern California any time soon.
                                    Eat healthy meals of moderate proportion.
                                                Excercise regularly.
                                            Never root for Notre Dame.
                                     Remember, a clean colon is a happy colon.
                    Avoid black-top parking lots, roads and driveways on Thursday and Friday.
                              Enjoy any heliospheric auroras or anomolies responsibly.

                                           I hope this is helpful! More...
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 29, 03 | 7:17 am | Profile

                             [7] comments (267 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
                                             Diet Update: 031029
                      I was on my way home from work, riding on the bus, when the call came.

It was my home security company. They wanted to tell me there was a breaking glass alarm in my house. I have not
 had a false alarm since moving in over a year ago. They wanted to know whether or not they should dispatch the
                                   cops. Well duh! Yes, send them scum-bucket!

  The rest of the bus ride was stressful. I decided diet or no diet, this is too much stress and I will have a beer
when I get home. Yeah! A beer. Well, I'll eat out too. Why not. It's a great excuse to go out and eat and get a good
                buzz on. Whether or not it turns out to be a false alarm or real, I will have a beer.

Anyway, after convincing myself that the silver lining to any break-in was that I could justify having a beer while on
a diet, I got home to see two coppers in my driveway. They came over to me and said, "This your house?" I replied,
 "Yeah, what's up?" Well we got a breaking glass alarm but we went all around the house and didn't see anything. I
    had an internal sigh of relief. Anyway, I thanked them and went inside to look around. I grabbed my big-ass
 machete from the basement wall where it hangs as decoration. I went into each room announcing that you better
 come out or I'll freaking chop you into little peices! I looked in each closet etc etc until I was sure some bastard
 hadn't gotten in, closed and locked the window, and waited for the cops to say there was nothing wrong. Then the
  dude would come out at 3 AM and kill us. All was well though and I had no chance to dice up a robber tonight. I
                                       didn't want to clean up any blood anyway.

Well, by this time I was hungry and called Mariann who was driving back from New York where she worked for the
day. We decided that she would pick me up and I would go with her to drop the rental car and on the way back we
                                      would eat Mexican! Woohoo! Mexican.

I didn't have a beer because I thought I'd be good for another 30 minutes or so and then can drink when we get to
                                                 the restaurant.

Well she picked my up and off we went to the Hertz joint and dropped the car. I drove the VW Bug and we headed
                   north on the Berlin Turnpike to Puerto Vallarta, our favorite Mexican place.

 All the while I felt guilty. I REALLY wanted to eat Mexican and I felt angry with my self that I was going to eat

To make a long story not quite so long, I got all pissed inside, pulled a U-Turn and headed home. Cursing myself for
not eating and quietly happy with myself that I avoided an extreme diet failure which would have caused me to fail
                                              for the rest of the week.

 I ate a salad and a half cup of soup when we got home. Cranked up a song that I am working on and worked out my
                                                    lead guitar.
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 29, 03 | 6:37 am | Profile

                             [6] comments (273 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Published originally at EtherZone.com

                                                  By: Steve Berven

   Yes folks, yet another Bush judicial nominee has run up against a legislative lynch mob in the latest Senate
  Judiciary Confirmation hearings. In a strange twist of fate, this nominee also happens to be both black and a
woman, two traits which traditionally have invoked the full weight of the Democrat party in wholehearted support.
However, in this case, the nominee has the misfortune of being -- sin of all sins -- a conservative Republican. Yes,
                                  Virginia, black, female conservatives do exist.

                                Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 29, 03 | 6:34 am | Profile
                               [7] comments (232 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                Brain of Poo! Award:
                                   Today’s photo is of Yasser "The Gasser" Airifart.

                                             I Fart On All Israel!

                                              "Who you callin' a terrorist?"
                                    Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 29, 03 | 6:33 am | Profile

                               [7] comments (281 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          Yarbz Moring Photo Caption:

                               Watch Out! There's One Behind You!

   Yarbz Caption: A "Would Be Monica" stand in the background admiring the President as she listens to a hearing device
    implanted in her ear. The "Would Be Monica's", an organization of Dumocratic Women, have been attempting to get
 President Bush to have an affair with them since his victory in the 2000 election. The WBM's have tried by using interns,
    civilians, heads of state and even maids all to no avail. President Bush, while in great shape and not in need of Viagra
(according to all reports), un-like all the Dumocratic candidates who need Viagra just to have their wiener come out enough
    to simply pee, has been able to easily act according to his moral code. The prior President had left his moral code in
                                             Arkansas with his mistresses.

 Original Caption: President George W. Bush refused on October 27, 2003 to say whether he would turn over intelligence
  documents requested by a commission that is investigating the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. Bush waves to the press on the
                  South Lawn of the White House in Washington, October 26. (William Philpott/Reuters)
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 29, 03 | 6:20 am | Profile

                              [3] comments (225 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Tue Oct 28, 2003

                                        More News About Busy Bodies

                                                   Bend Over!
                                 The "Easily-Offended" Are Greasing Up Their Rods!

                                                   From Tongue Tied

                                                     The G-Word

 The American atheist who wants to bar kids from saying the Pledge of Allegiance because it includes the phrase “Under
  God” tells United Press International that he has only just begun his efforts to remove the G-word from public life.

   Michael Newdow, an emergency room physician and doctor, has already sued over the pledge, references to Jesus in
               presidential inaugural ceremonies and the use of chaplains in the U.S. House and Senate.

Future targets, Newdow promises, include the national motto "In God We Trust," its inscription on money and singing songs
          such as "God Bless America" at any event on government property or at government-sponsored events.
       Man! I guess we could change the coin motto to "America, Land of the Over-Sensitive and Easily Offended"

                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 1:56 pm | Profile

                              [5] comments (310 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Help for the Blogless
                                  Originally published on another blog in June 2003:

                                                 Help for the blogless

 I get the question often (and usually quite sheepishly) “What is a blog?” I guess officially, a blog is a “web log” or
   an online diary or journal. They are typically comprised of “posts” wherein authors can place their thoughts on
virtual paper and typically post a “link” to some story or site of interest. There are links to several very good blogs
  above. I am supplying my own version of some definitions that may help below. Please feel free to add your own.

                                    Blogasaurus: A very long and heavy blog entry.

 Blogroll: a list of other blogs. Usually a blogroll provides hyperlinks to others of the same general character. Can
                                 also constitute a list of blogs that is visited regularly.

 Blogger: a person who writes, contributes to or provides commentary for a blog. Also, a provider of software and
                                            shareable blogs for a fee.

   Blogerration: something that need not have been posted as it is on every other blog out there (also known as
                                            blogcrap or bloggerhea)

                                     Blogerrific: a very keen or noteworthy post
                                                 Bloglicious: a tasty post

             Blogdacious: (like “bodacious”) meaning a tasty and keen post that is exciting to the senses.

Blogomatic: a post that had to made. The blogger has no choice when coming across something that is “blogomatic”
                                  but to post it immediately. Syn: blogworthy.

      Blogspot: another way to say blog. Can also refer to a particular post in a blog. Also a "blog hosting site"

Blogging: The process of making and maintaining a blog. Posting, reading and adding commentary to this blog would
                                              constitute blogging.

 Bloghosting: there are several sites where you can have your blog “hosted”. Sort of a blog service provider. . See
                             also Blogger.com, m-blog.com, bloggingnetwork.com, etc).

  Blogstyles: Some are two columns, some one, some 3. Some are quite creative and unique and some look very much
like others. Some have pictures, some do not. Each good one has its own “style”. Individuals who post on Juggernuts
                                          each have their own blogstyle.

                         Blogworthy: a concept or idea that is worth posting. see: blogomatic.

                           Again, I hope this is helpful and please feel free to add your own.

                                  Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 28, 03 | 1:04 pm | Profile

                               [2] comments (299 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                 Police Protection for article re: Muslim Sex
Two journalists from Norway are being given police protection after publishing an article on how to get sex from
Muslim women. Apparently there is some outrage over them quoting text from the Koran. Full text of the story is
                                         desplayed in MORE. More...
                                 Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 28, 03 | 12:37 pm | Profile

                               [3] comments (418 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Beware The Odor Of the Bowels!

                                                Dr. Fart Speaks!
                      Everything you want to know about flatulence, and some things you don't.
                                                By Stephen G. Bloom

February 24, 2000 | W hen I told my wife I was going to write a story about farts, she said that if I mentioned her name
I was dead meat. Fact is, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone farts. The amount of gas and the volume at which a
 fart is expelled are another issue. My wife does fart and she farts loudly but, thank God, her farts are mostly odorless.
                                               This is not the case with mine.

To understand the nuances of farting, or flatulence, I called upon Dr. Michael D. Levitt, a gastroenterologist and associate
 chief of staff at the Minneapolis Veterans Affairs Medical Center. Levitt, 64, could well be called Dr. Fart because he is
the world's leading authority on flatulence. He has had 275 articles printed on flatulence in medical journals, as either the
                                              principal author or the co-author.
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 10:01 am | Profile

                               [3] comments (463 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                Diet Update: 031028
    Very good day yesterday and even on Sunday. I got to the gym on Monday even though I wrecked my back.

  The first sign that one usually can feel that shows you're going in the right direction is a looser ring. My ring is
  looser than it used to be. Waist is kinda looser I think. But hey, Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was Mr.

I had a standoff at the refrigerator yesterday evening however. I went to get a diet coke and a 22 oz Sapporo and
I stared each other down for about 20 seconds. It was saying, "come on, it won't matter if you have one!" and I was
thinking, "well, maybe you're right" but I eventually decided that I would have the Coke and get a beer later. Once
                    I escaped the temptation, I didn't think about Mr. Sapporo again. Good thing.

Anyway, the diet is in full swing again after the failure of Saturday. I had oatmeal for breakfast and a banana for
   lunch. For dinner, I made due with a salad and a half cup of soup. I watched a movie which kept my mind off
munching. Stay tuned! My first weigh-in will be something over the weekend probably and that will be the official
         first weight. I will be updating weekly most likely. Ain't this excitement! Or is that excrement?
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 7:22 am | Profile

                              [4] comments (264 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                      Today's "Brain of Poo!" Goes To:
                                                   Michael Jackson!

     Why?: Because he came out in public again. That is all the reason we need to award him the Brain of Poo!
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 7:00 am | Profile

                              [2] comments (210 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks


                                        Rod Roddy! Come On Up!
                           Sorry to hear this news. Rod Roddy died of cancer before his time....

Caption: Rod Roddy, seen in an undated handout photo, the flamboyantly dressed announcer on "The Price is Right'' whose
booming, jovial voice invited lucky audience members to "Come on down!'' for nearly 20 years, died Monday, Oct. 27, 2003
                                 in Los Angeles. He was 66. (AP Photo/ Monty Brinton, CBS)
                                     Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 6:52 am | Profile

                               [1] comments (264 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

                                           Rare Glimpse Into Hell!

 Yarbz Caption: In a very rare photograph, a Muslim extremist stands in the bowels of hell. The unidentified terrorist was
expecting a plethora of virgins but received an eternity of burning hell, prickly penis sodomy and un-definable pain upon the
                                               testicles, nipples and eyeballs.

 Original Caption: A firefighter sets a controled fire to a hillside to burn off brush in an attempt to keep a wildfire from
                    spreading in Lakeside, Calif. Monday night, Oct 27, 2003. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)
                                    Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 6:41 am | Profile
                             [2] comments (207 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                           Al at a Halloween Party

   Here is a lovely shot of Al at a recent Halloween party as you guessed it a tree hugger. He's showing what he
                                     thought of the hippie that just pissed on him.
                               Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 28, 03 | 6:31 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (246 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                           Mon Oct 27, 2003

                    Scumbag Bitch Moans And Crys And Wants $200,000,000!
Here is an excerpt from the article. This woman was riding on the Staten Island Ferry during the accident. Shortly
                    thereafter, she was seen with a light bulb and a dollar sign above her head:

   "Jones said she has a sore back and is emotionally distraught after the accident. The massive damages she is
asking dwarf those sought by other victims, including a woman who lost both legs in the tragedy, in which 10 people

    That victim, Debra Castro, 39, filed a notice of claim saying she intended to seek $120 million in damages."

                                     Read More About This Scummy Whore!
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 1:19 pm | Profile

                             [4] comments (312 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                               Fire in Paradise:
     Wow. The trees were unburned and the houses torched. Makes you wonder about the building material or
                             something. Scary and sad. Even the lawns look nice...

                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 12:34 pm | Profile

                             [4] comments (224 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

 Don't try to go today (the web site is experiencing difficulty at a minimum) but check out the newest blogger to
hit the big time. I thought his name was funny too, Randall van der Woning. Sounds like a Yarbz photo caption name
                                        to me: R. U. van der Boning? More...
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 27, 03 | 8:37 am | Profile

                             [3] comments (260 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

  Yarbz Caption: It was revealed today by the National Transportation Administration why the US is so fearful of
 the Islamic/Muslim culture. A statement issued Sunday explained that Muslims on the highway in Los Angeles and
 several other major US cities, if caught driving during one of the zillions of prayer times, would stop and seize up
  traffic patterns for hours if not days. A study, paid for by CLUMP, (Cars Left Unattended by Muslims Praying)
shows that it could cause a national emergency as drivers endure rising blood pressure and associated health risks.
 Hospitals, whose capacity has already been an issue, would fill with gunshot victims (primarily Muslims) and heart
attack victims. It was determined that it is best to keep the highways clear and a law is in Congress that, if passed,
                                would require all practicing Muslims to ride bicycles.
 Original Caption: A Muslim taxi driver stops to pray on the first day of Ramadan on the road in front of the Eid-
 Gah mosque in Kabul, Afghanistan on Monday, Oct 27, 2003. The holiest month in the Islamic calendar, Muslims
    around the world refrain from eating and drinking from sunrise to sunset during the month long fast. (AP
                                               Photo/Richard Vogel)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 6:52 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (411 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Brain of Poo Award:
This was a no brainer! Between all the Brains of Poo in this photo, it was easy to choose the whole bunch as today's
                                            Brain of Poo Award winners.

Last night I was flipping through the channels and accidentally stopped on the debate for a second. All I heard was
 worthless poo spewed out of each mouth. Nothing but accusations and no answers or plans. "Ya ya ya, we are the
 answer to all Americas problems. If we were in office, the Muslims would love us and there would be no America
  dead." How? "...Ah, err, umm, because, ah, yeah that's how. Get it! We have the answer!" Yeah, but what's the
                answer? "We already told you weren’t you listening?" And on and on and on it went.

Caption: Democrats including from left, Rev. Al Sharpton, U.S. Rep. Richard Gephardt (news, bio, voting record) of
Missouri, retired Army Gen. Wesley Clark (news - web sites), Sen. Joe Lieberman (news - web sites) of Connecticut,
 Sen. John Edwards (news, bio, voting record); of North Carolina, U.S. Rep Dennis Kucinich, of Ohio; Vermont Gov.
Howard Dean (news - web sites) and former Illinois Sen. Carol Moseley Braun, prepare for their democratic debate
                           in Detroit, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2003. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 6:26 am | Profile

                             [3] comments (238 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                      Another Good Bit From NewsMax.com RE Reagan Movie:
           I suppose they'd also cast Beelzebub as Jesus. Whadda bunch of agenda-toting yahoos!

                                            --- From www.newsmax.com

"It's horrendous, it's absolutely horrendous," Michael Reagan, a nationally syndicated radio host, complained after
 viewing eight minutes' worth of excerpts of the film, which stars James Brolin, husband of Reagan-hater Barbra
                                         Streisand, as the 40th president.

"They paint my father as a buffoon," the former first son-turned radio host told fellow talker Sean Hannity. "They
 also have my dad taking God's name in vain in an angry, angry way. ... They have him calling another person in anger
                                                     an S.O.B."
 "I've never seen my Dad that angry and I've never heard him use the 'G-D' word in my life," Reagan complained.

"They dislike my father, and you can see that," he said. "They actually infer that Alzheimer's was setting in at the
              time the whole thing was going on with Ollie North and Iran-Contra - which is absurd."

            The CBS film is even harder on former first lady Nancy Reagan, Michael Reagan revealed.

 "All the bad things you've heard about Nancy - I mean, this show just hates her - absolutely hates her," he told

                             Reagan called CBS's portrayal of Mrs. Reagan "obscene."

The former first son said he talked to Mrs. Reagan about the excerpts Wednesday night, saying, "Of course she's
                                     upset about it - we're all upset about it."

"The eight minutes' worth of clips that I saw [showed] Nancy as the head of the government and Dad was just the
           buffoon going along for the ride, with everybody laughing at him," Reagan said. "It is so sad."

                    Reagan said he sent a copy of the clips he viewed to the former first lady.

   Editor's Note: Next week NewsMax will be providing our readers with contact information to protest CBS's
                           outrageous attack on President Reagan and Mrs. Reagan.

                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 6:21 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (220 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Nice Bit From NewsMax.com:
                                       Why America Hates the Democrats

    What is with the Democrats lately? This past week they were nastier to each other than we could ever be.

            Andrew Cuomo blasted his party as "soulless and clueless" and even praised President Bush.

  Sen. Zell Miller renamed the White House wannabes and other leftists for pushing the "shrinking party" into a
  "breakdown." Howard Dean lashed back at Rep. Dick Gephardt and other rivals for "distorting his positions for
  months" when, "with a combined three-quarters of a century in Washington, D.C., they have delivered few real

   New York Democrats such as Rep. Charlie Rangel lashed out at Wesley Clark for his doomed support of the
 military's crucial base on Vieques, Puerto Rico. (This just weeks after Rangel was lavishing praise on the retired

Even the presidential contenders admit that Americans don't like the Democrat party. Their views on why this is so
                                                are fascinating.

   David Brooks noted in the New York Times that the Dems campaigning in New Hampshire and Iowa have been
trying to explain why Democrats have plunged from 49 percent of the electorate in the days of FDR to 32 percent

              Dean says the party must return to its roots instead of compromising with Republicans.

  Gephardt says free trade has betrayed workers. Lieberman notes that the party has gone too far left and too

 "John Edwards has the most persuasive theory," Brooks wrote. Voters "are really good at knowing who respects
them and who doesn't. Edwards' theory is that the Democrats' besetting sin over the past few decades has been

   The senator, a multimillionaire trial lawyer whose father worked in a textile mill, said when announcing his
  candidacy, "Democrats too often act like rural America is just someplace to fly over between a fundraiser in
                                  Manhattan and a fundraiser in Beverly Hills."

 Brooks wrote: "When I interviewed people during the 2000 campaign I found many voters preferred Democratic
policies to Republican ones. But they didn't trust Al Gore because they thought he looked down on them. They felt
                                Bush could come to their barbershop and fit right in.

"Except for Bill Clinton, Democrats have nominated presidential candidates who try to figure out Middle American
   values by reading the polls, instead of feeling them in their gut. If they do it again, the long, slow slide will

  There's just one problem with Edwards' analysis: As NewsMax.com reported way back in June, he himself has
 demonstrated a Gore-like contempt for the folks in North Carolina and the rest of flyover country by making a
condescending remark about farmers and saying he no longer listened to country music, paid attention to NASCAR
                                         races, or even owned a gun.

                                       And the "long, slow slide" continues.
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 6:18 am | Profile

                            [2] comments (252 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Sun Oct 26, 2003

                                        Miscellaneous Yarbz Photo:
                                   Click on the tease image for the whole image:

                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 26, 03 | 6:57 pm | Profile

                             [0] comments (178 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                  Diet Buster. Damn, Must State Over!
                                              See The Diet Buster

Getting back on the diet and gym wagon again. There are no more planned events that will derail this diet. I lost a
                                 lot of steam this weekend. I feel like crap too.
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 26, 03 | 6:39 pm | Profile

                            [3] comments (272 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Sat Oct 25, 2003

                                     Yarbz Miscellaneous Photo Post:
                                      FB takes on Sodom and/or Bin Fartin'
                              Circa 1990... Yarbz Photo taken in Riverside, California.
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 25, 03 | 8:03 am | Profile

                             [9] comments (329 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        New Travelers Claim Office:
                                        Travelers Claim office in Taha'a.

                                                I will transfer now.

              Caption Bungalows at the Pearl Resort, Taha'a. 10/22/03 (courtesy Pearl Resort-FWD)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 25, 03 | 7:50 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (243 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Diet Update: 031025 (Tailgate Day)
Devine intervention. Yes, that had to be it. God. God messed with the cooks or bartenders mind to help me with my

  I had made my mind up that I would go ahead and eat regular last night cuz I was gonna break the diet today
   anyway during the UConn v Zips (dumbass name for Akron) football game. So we went to one or our favorite
taverns, J. Timothy's. FB knows J. Timothy's, he's been there several times. Anyway, it's a good place with great
            fare consisting of burgers, steaks pastas and generally filling and tasty tavern style food.

 I ordered Dirt Wings and a side of fries. I thought, "oh well, it's only one day." When the food came out, the side
 of fries was about 20 fries on a saucer plate. Not typical for JT's. I asked the bartender (we were sitting at the
bar) how much they charge for a side of fries, and she said $1.50. I said well take 'em away. That was insulting. So
God didn't want me to have fries. Then, I turned my attention to the wings. Dirt wings are JT's specialty. They are
buffalo style wings that are cooked like all wings, deep fried and then a coating of buffalo sauce. The difference is
 that Dirt Wings are cooked, sauced and then cooked and sauced again for a deep rich flavor and nice fall off the
  bone well done texture. Not a Mr. Healthy meal, but freakin' good stuff. I bit one wing. It was not Dirt. I was
already pissed about the fires, so I tried to get the attention of the bartender. She ignored us, probably because
    she was having a hissy about my turning in the tiny plate of fries. She was a petite blond, like every woman
  employed by JT's. I think they have a token heifer somewhere. Anyway, I was getting angrier and angrier as I
 waited for her attention. Finally, I got her attention and told her that I ordered Dirt Wings and that these were
 not Dirt. Since Mariann was almost finished with her meal, I told them just take them away and deduct form the
     bill. All I had that night was 2 beers. Also had two Michelob’s at an art opening previously in the evening.

  So, that is how God helps you on a diet. God damned the restaurant in such a fashion that I didn't eat dinner.

 Woohoo! Better than the Atkins diet, the God Diet. God just make sure that you can't get any good food, or God
  makes you pissed at the restaurant and you tell the waitress to take a flying leap etc. Maybe it was just luck
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 25, 03 | 7:29 am | Profile

                             [0] comments (256 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Fri Oct 24, 2003

                                           Another Poignant Quote
                          "23 is so OLD!! That's almost 25, which is practically mid 20's."
                                       ---Jessica Simpson on Newleyweds
                             Posted by: DaneBramage on Oct 24, 03 | 12:50 pm | Profile

                             [5] comments (265 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                           Good Quotes Yet Again:
                         "Two things...have staggered me....The first has been the dangers
                          that have so swiftly come upon us in a few years, and have been
                           transforming our position and the whole outlook of the world.
                           Secondly, I have been staggered by the failure of the House
                             of Commons to react effectively against those dangers."
                                             --Winston Churchill, 1936

                          "All is over. Silent, mournful, abandoned, broken, Czechoslovakia
                        recedes into darkness....We have sustained a defeat without a war."
                                             --Winston Churchill, 1938
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 11:28 am | Profile

                            [16] comments (339 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                  Good Quote:
                          "Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives."
                                                   --John Adams
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 11:23 am | Profile

                             [0] comments (181 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Good Quote from Democrat:
                             "The falsely bleak picture [painted by the media] weakens
                               our national resolve, discourages Iraqi cooperation and
                                  emboldens our enemy." --Demo Rep. Jim Marshall

                                           Representative Jim Marhall
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 11:19 am | Profile

                             [3] comments (234 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                 Good Message:
                                      Taken from a private Marine Corps site:


                       I am an Infantry Platoon Sergeant with 1st Battalion, 7th Marines.
                        We returned from Iraq 5 October. I have been reading some the
                           e-mails and must respond to one. My billet in An Najaf, Iraq
                       was Security Chief for the Battalion CP at the University of Najaf.
                         Part of my duties was the daily coordination with the locals who
                        lived at the University and any who came up to the gate. Without
                       exception, over 90% of the Iraqi people wanted us there! When we
                             left, power and water were full time, for the first time in
                       remembered history. People could protest the US, the government
                        or anyone else without fear of being arrested. When a US soldier
                           was killed near Najaf, the Iraqi citizens had a demonstration
                      SUPPORTING the US and expressing condolences. The people of Iraq
                           need the assistance of the US. Without our presence or the
                          presence of peacekeepers, the totalitarian regime will resume
                           is hold on the country and persecute its citizens. I am proud
                        of my actions and the actions of the United States Marine Corps.
                          I ask the citizen's of this country to look at the good we have
                               done and are doing and support the US efforts in Iraq.

                                                 SSgt S. P. Perry
                                       H&S Co., 1st Bn, 7th Mar, 1st Mar Div
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 11:14 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (213 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Diet Update: 031024
 Well, if diet food includes carnitas and salsa, along with a margarita, well two margaritas, then I had a good diet
 day. Probably it wasn't the best thing to have, but it wasn't the worst. Mariann came back home after two weeks
        away and we went out to eat. This has become a tradition of sorts and we didn't break it last night.

She arrived at Bradley airport yesterday afternoon. She had left her license on the plane and had to go chase that
   down before we could leave. Due to all the hassle, we decided to go out rather then go straight home. I was
  superbly superb dietarily yesterday before dinner eating only a granola bar and a banana along with two large
   coffees and several large waters. I rode bike for 30 minutes too. All in all it works out OK. I don't think the
                                           Mexican dinner hurt too bad.

   However, with all new diet attempts, prior plans can get in the way, as do the holidays. Damn. I forgot I had a
 eating and drinking event to attend. Mariann reminded me that I am supposed to go to the UConn Huskies football
game tomorrow with two of my brothers-in-law, a father-in-law, and two male nephews. This involved BBQ and beer
and appetizers during a tailgating party prior to the game. I committed to this when I was not on a diet. Now that I
   am, I have two choices; 1) Go and be miserable or, 2) Go and be happy. I am going to choose "2" and go and be
happy. (Listen) This means that I have to be superbly superb on today's diet effort and especially on Sunday's diet
            effort. Getting back on the diet wagon after Saturday will be the key to success or failure.

 Then, of course, the holidays always present a major hill to climb because Thanksgiving is at our house this year
 and I will supply much wine and quality fall beer for those in attendance. This will be 12 people. I think I can get
                    through it though if I have superbly superb weeks prior to the actual dates.
If I am to win the bet with FB, then I have to beat the holiday let down and thwart the temptation of eating with
 reckless abandon during the holidays. It's less about the food than the beer and other alcohol though. Damn. Of
  course, there is no easy time to diet. If it's not the holiday, it football season, if not football season, is NCAA
                        bassabah. If not that, then is summer and hot days calling for beer.

  Beer, there needs to be a way to modify it so that it makes you loose weight. Maybe add speed to it. That way,
  while you take in many calories and carbs, your metabolism rocks. Of maybe make it so that beer make you less

                          Anyway, a slight let down yesterday evening, but not a failure.
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 7:07 am | Profile

                            [11] comments (273 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Brain of Poo Award:
Brain of Poo Award is replacing the now retired Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award. The inaugural winner, and
 what a choice, is Mike Tyson! Conflatuations Mike, your brain is clearly made of poo and you have proven it many
                                                   many times!

   Proving his brain is poo, Mike Tyson "supports" Kobe Bryant. Whether or not his "support" is actually a like a
   torpedo in the side of a ship in a storm has yet to be seen, but it is likely that Kobe wishes Tyson would just

 Caption: Former World Heavyweight champion boxer Mike Tyson holds up signs in support of Los Angeles Lakers
  guard Kobe Bryant during their NBA preseason game against the Los Angeles Clippers in Anaheim, California,
 October 23, 2003. Bryant was playing in his first game since being ordered to stand trial for sexual assault and
                             undergoing knee surgery. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 7:01 am | Profile

                             [6] comments (259 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

                                   Is Your Name Sarah Connor?
    Yarbz Caption: Arnold Swantz-is-nearer meets outgoing Governor Gray Davis with the line, "So, Is your name Sarah
Connor?" Davis, who was did not see the movie from which the line is taken, replied, "Sir, do I look Like a Girl?" In a quick,
non-nonsense response, Mr. Swantz-is-nearer responded, "Yes, you do." Elaborating, Swantz-is-nearer continued, "You are
  a sissy boy, you need to lift some weights and begin to act less like a pussy. You very much a girly-man." Davis, who was
                              horrified at the direct assault of his masculinity wet his panties.

Original Caption: California Governor Gray Davis (L) and Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger leave Davis' at the state
     Capitol in Sacramento. This is the first time the two have met since the recall election (AFP/File/Robyn Beck)
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 6:34 am | Profile

                               [2] comments (230 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                               Thu Oct 23, 2003

                                     Important Read! To Critical To Miss:
                                                      Catch the Link:

                                    Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 11:34 am | Profile

                               [9] comments (301 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Typical of the American Armed Forces:
                        Here Rests In Honored Glory An American Soldier Known But To God.

 So reads the inscription etched into the white granite tomb that marks the resting place of America's official
unknown soldiers. The Tomb of the Unknowns remains one of the United States' most revered sites, a permanent
   reminder of this country's commitment to honor those who died fighting for its freedom. Last week, that
       commitment was upheld in a way some people might not have even noticed or even thought about.

When practically every government employee in Washington was beating a hasty retreat to avoid the aftereffects
   of Hurricane Isabel, a small group of men decided their commitment to duty, honor and country was more
                                   important than personal safety or comfort.

Tomb Guard Sentinels, the elite soldiers of the 3rd U.S. Infantry regiment chosen to act as guards at the Tomb,
opted to sustain their constant vigil at the Tomb of the Unknowns rather than flee the oncoming bad weather. To
  them it was a matter of honoring their personal and professional obligations to the men and women who served
before them and who serve now - and obviously do not have the luxury of serving their country only when skies are
                                    blue and the sun shines down upon them.

 Although the Tomb of the Unknowns is watched over by Tomb Guards 24 hours a day, 365 days a year regardless
 of weather conditions, to have soldiers so duty-bound as to ignore their own personal well-being is an example of
          real patriotism and a real reminder of the sacrifices made to secure the principles of liberty.

                                                      Read Here
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 10:02 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (260 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          Asspipes on the road again
 It must be the phase of the moon or something, but the asspoles were out in droves behind the wheel of their
 weapons of mass destruction again this morning. I once again was witness to such poor and unsafe driving that I
                                    feel compelled to post this small tirade.

It's funny to me (and curious too) but I don't see a checkered flag when I finish my commute. I manage to get to
    work on time without significantly exceeding the posted speed limit or making random lane changes without
signalling. I don't see the need to tailgate people or flash my lights at them until they get out of my way (at least
not very often). I keep any phone activity to a bare minimum and won't even turn it on on the way to work. I try to
 eat and finish any grooming activity before leaving the house. I proceed at a safe pace and pay attention to what
                           happens around me. I am a defensive driver for the most part.

 That is until I get to my favorite stretch of road. As soon as I make a right turn from Raymond onto Diehl, I turn
into Mario Andretti. I know every bump and pavement crack. I know how every car will behave and what they will do
 when we get to the interstate onramp at Winfield. It is a curvy stretch of road (and currently under some level of
construction) that causes even the most ambitious race car wannabes to slow down. There is always a bottleneck of
  folks trying to merge into the two left turn lanes to access the tollway. I can usually breeze by them in the far
                                                   right thru lane.

 This morning, the one fucktard who I was most wary about pulled a few good ones. She was driving an SUV (Ford
Expeditionasaurus) and clearly didn't give a rats petard about other drivers. I saw her on the bumper of a delivery
van that signalled to get out of her way, but had to swerve back when she, without signalling of course, made a wild
  lane change to the left, nearly hitting a car in that lane. I was amazed that the Ford didn't go up on two wheels.
   She was exceeding the speed limit by at least twenty or thirty mph, but was getting nowhere because she kept
 catching red lights. I watched her as she entered a lane that ended in 100 yards or so. It is well posted that the
lane ends (it actually turns into a right turn only lane), but this doesn't stop many folks from trying to get at least
                              one or two cars passed in a moderately dangerous fashion.

  I followed for several miles as she swerved and sped back and forth aimlessly from lane to lane. As soon as she
 made the right onto my favorite stretch, she slowed to an unbearable pace, apparently unable to adequately deal
  with curves in the road. Then at the two left turn lanes at Winfield, she proceeded to stop in the thru lane and
THEN, for the for first time, used her signal to indicate that she was going into the left turn lane which was quite
full of other cars patiently waiting for the left turn signal to go green. She was stopped a good twenty yards short
     of the limit line and blocking traffic for several hundred yards for cars who wanted to go straight thru the
intersection. At this point, I pulled next to her in the far right lane. She wasn't on the phone, or eating breakfast,
  or applying makeup. She was just an inbred special-ed asspole that should have learned to drive BEFORE getting
                             the keys. I gave her the thumbs up sign and proceeded to work.

                                           I was even a few minutes early.
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 23, 03 | 7:56 am | Profile

                              [1] comments (207 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                Funniest headline
                                    Stiff Discipline for Boy's Viagra Prank
                              Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 23, 03 | 7:55 am | Profile

                            [4] comments (280 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                          Arnold and the Pres. Have Something in Common
                                          Posted at the request of Al:

                                    Bush Ancestor's Bank Seized by Gov't
                                            By Jonathon D. Salant
                                              Associated Press

   WASHINGTON - President Bush's grandfather was a director of a bank seized by the federal government
   because of its ties to a German industrialist who helped bankroll Adolf Hitler's rise to power, government
                                                 documents show.

  Prescott Bush was one of seven directors of Union Banking Corp., a New York investment bank owned by a bank
controlled by the Thyssen family, according to recently declassified National Archives documents reviewed by The
                                            Associated Press. More...
                              Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 23, 03 | 7:02 am | Profile

                            [28] comments (811 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                 Thanks Rush
                America owes talk host Rush Limbaugh a debt of gratitude, Libertarians say

WASHINGTON, DC -- The entire nation owes radio broadcaster Rush Limbaugh a debt of gratitude, Libertarians
        say, because his ordeal has exposed every drug warrior in America as a rank hypocrite.

 "One thing we don't hear from American politicians very often is silence," said Joe Seehusen, Libertarian Party
   executive director. "By refusing to criticize Rush Limbaugh, every drug warrior has just been exposed as a
                                    shameless, despicable hypocrite. More...
                              Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 23, 03 | 6:53 am | Profile

                            [4] comments (272 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                           Rummy Rummy Rummy
                               Rumsfeld's war-on-terror memo From USA Today

                                              TO: Gen. Dick Myers
                                                Paul Wolfowitz
                                                Gen. Pete Pace
                                                  Doug Feith

                                             FROM: Donald Rumsfeld

                                      SUBJECT: Global War on Terrorism

   The questions I posed to combatant commanders this week were: Are we winning or losing the Global War on
Terror? Is DoD changing fast enough to deal with the new 21st century security environment? Can a big institution
                             change fast enough? Is the USG changing fast enough?
                              Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 23, 03 | 6:45 am | Profile

                            [5] comments (280 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                      Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
                                       Clemens Changes Name After Final Game

Yarbz Caption: Pitcher and Belly Itcher, Roger Clemens has announced that he will be changing his name in honor of
 his last game pitched. His new moniker, Cy O. Nara, will be more suitable now that the Cy Young award winner has
 retired. His friends can call him Cy Ko. Rumors are circulating that Red Sox ace, Pedro Martinez will now change
                                       his name to Wytha Phuc Yuleevmeinn.

  Original Caption: Roger Clemens of the New York Yankees acknowledges the crowd after leaving the game in the
seventh inning against the Florida Marlins during game four of the Major League Baseball World Series (news - web
   sites). The Marlins spoilt Clemens' final start winning 4-3 to level the series(AFP/Getty Images/Ezra Shaw)
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 6:32 am | Profile

                              [2] comments (298 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                            RIP to a face we all have probably seen before:

                                          Jack Elam, Dead... :-(

  Caption: Jack Elam is seen in this July 1979 publicity file photo for a CBS television show, 'Struck By Lightning', died
 Monday Oct. 20, 2003 at his home in Ashland, Ore. of an unspecified illness, according to longtime friend Al Hassan. A
 family friend announced Tuesday, Oct. 21, 2003 that Elam, a character actor and favorite Western villain who menaced
good-guy cowboys with his crazy grin, menacing eyes and remorseless gunslinging in films such as Rawhide and Wichita, has
                                               died. (AP Photo/ CBS, File)
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 6:26 am | Profile

                              [3] comments (417 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
                                Goes to: Robert Foster & Turdette Crystal Foster!

 For having the gall to try and defraud our government, you're the Smelly Turd Brains of the Day! Conflatuations!
                                      They use it as an excuse to get money.

     Talk about wanting, trying, willing, needing and lying bastards (and bastardettes) who try to be made out as
"victims", these two are real smelly! There are many others seeking the same thing that don't give a good God damn
   about their "ancestors", they care for only for Uncle Sam's Greenbacks! How 'bout a free kick in the ass and a
                  one-way ticket to the country of their choice? That would be proper reparations!

Caption: Robert Foster, is shown in a mug shot, date unknown, from the Northern Neck Regional Jail in Warsaw, Va.
Robert Foster was convicted along with his daughter, Crystal, of trying to defraud the government. Crystal Foster
   received and spent a $500,000 income tax refund from the government. The Fosters claimed the refund as
 reparations for past grievances the government had inflicted on their ancestors, who were slaves. Robert Foster
                    prepared Crystal's tax forms. (AP Photo/Northern Neck Regional Jail, HO)
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 6:09 am | Profile

                              [1] comments (244 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Wed Oct 22, 2003

                                              Diet Update: 031022
  OK. I made it though my two days away from the office. Those trips and events are always a major temptation
                       because of the free food and having to see everyone else pile it on.

      Today they brought in Chinese food. I had set my heart of the same salad I had yesterday, but I was
 uncharacteristically controlled at the impromptu buffet. The fact that they had cheap-ass styrofoam plate may
   have had something to do with it. The crap would have slipped off onto the floor sure as shit if I would have
                                             exceeded a healthy quota.

 I had a bit of rice, some noodle crap and a few shrimp. Not bad at all. I chugged a water and that was that. Very
                                                    small lunch.

             Now, I get to go back to the office tomorrow where the gym is and work on some cardio.

 For dinner tonight, I had the leftover spinach and sauerkraut mixture I made yesterday evening. I tweaked it by
  adding a can of chicken broth. Well well well! It was very good. I mean good enough that I would probably eat it
                                            even when not trying to diet.

                    Tomorrow will be a good day I can feel it already. Gotta keep the roll going.

FB, forget the fin for 33, I will however take a new pair of Levi 501 button fly jeans upon my arrival to 33. Up for
that bet? If I make 180, I will be 33. I may well be 33 by 44. That would be on the 19th of month 03 in 04. Wanna
                                       try me? If I make it after that, I lose.
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 22, 03 | 4:59 pm | Profile

                             [4] comments (266 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                  Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
Goes to: This Indonesian Woman! Her skull hole is full of turds and she is blinded by either religion or stupidity.
            Conflatuations! The ONLY definition of terrorism that counts is the western definition.

 To bad protestors don't have to spell out their reasoning. Better yet, protestors should be held accountable for
their words. If you say something, you should be able to be sued to liable and or slander. That way, if you are being
   truthful, you have nothing to fear. If not, off with you head, penis, vagina or other painful body part removal.

  Caption: An Indonesian Muslim woman holds up a defaced photo of U.S. President George W. Bush (news - web
sites) during an anti-U.S. protest in Denpasar, the capital city of the Indonesian resort island of Bali October 22,
   2003. Bush met Indonesian leaders on Wednesday to show support for efforts by the world's most populous
                                 Muslim nation to fight terrorism. REUTERS/Crack
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 22, 03 | 5:31 am | Profile

                            [14] comments (489 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
                                         Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

                   Researchers Find "Stupid Face" Compound in Coffee

  Yarbz Caption: Kath Feen of Commietown, California sucks down a cup of coffee at Stalin Bucks Cafe Tuesday morning.
   Researchers in Germany have found that coffee contains a highly active compound, found only in coffee beans, which
caused mild to sever "Stupidious Facious", or Stupid Face, an all too common malady in Commietown. Nevertheless, drinkers
         in Commietown say they will never give up their java because their faces fit the personality of the town.

 Original Caption: Jessica Rich drinks a cup of coffee at Cafe Strada in Berkeley, Calif. German researchers say they've
found a highly active compound, called methylpyridinium, in coffee that may prevent colon cancer. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose
                                    Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 22, 03 | 5:18 am | Profile

                              [2] comments (224 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Tue Oct 21, 2003

                                              Diet Update 031021:
 I skipped out on dinner. It was easy today. I had the choice of eating at the Ramada, or was it the Sheraton? All
                the same. I would have been eating with attorneys mostly and I am glad I didn't go.

  I am typing this at 4:58 EST and eating a mixture of canned sour kraut and canned spinach. I threw in some
mustard and will be able to fill up on this stuff which tasted good initially but seem to be getting worse with each
                          bite. Maybe it needs some hot sauce. Yeah, that's the ticket.

                                                   (Runs to Kitchen)

             There, I just got some: "Bull Snort, Butt Burner" sauce (actual name) and will now apply:

                                 Wow! That oughta' clean out the colon! Pretty good.

 I ate a salad for lunch. They had a whole bunch of food catered in for the seminar. I walked past the pastas and
the cheesy eggplant and the bread. I ate a decent sized salad with a bonus portion of dressing. A fair trade off me
                                 thinks. It helps to grease the butt pipe I am sure.

               Tomorrow is another day, but each successful day means more will power for the next.

              Woohoo! Follow me along on this trip each day. I'll be trying to update each day anyway.

                                                     Cheers, Yarbz
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 21, 03 | 3:57 pm | Profile

                             [8] comments (299 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       "When is the bitch gonna die?"
 I find this an interesting issue. I also don't know where I fall on whether or not she lives or dies. Apparently her
                husband has been quoted as saying "When it the Bitch gonna die?". Whaddya think?
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 21, 03 | 8:59 am | Profile

                             [8] comments (244 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                    Good Shot!
                                               More of these please!

  Caption: An Iraqi schoolgirl tries on the helmet of a US soldier at a newly opened elementary school in Baghdad.
Pledges of aid to Iraq made ahead of a conference on the issue in Madrid look set to meet the expectations of host
              nation Spain but will fall short of the country's estimated needs(AFP/Ahmad Al-Rubaye)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 21, 03 | 5:08 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

                               Deadly Cook Catching Unit Unveiled
 Yarbz Caption: In a move certain to end China's habit of eating dogs, this PETA unit of Chinese Cook Catchers lower dogs
   down to the back alley's of Peking. The dogs, however, are exploding dogs, and will kill any of the cooks who search the
alleys for their main courses. Once the cooks are killed, the PETA team will then lower themselves the rest of the way and
 leave a bunch of vegetables in various orifices of the dead cooks as a warning to future Chinese Cooks. PETA says that a
 few exploding dogs could end the dog eating practice once and for all and the cost of a few dogs is worth it, and besides,
                                   these are retired military dogs and PETA hates those.

Original Caption: Dangling : Soldiers with dogs from the Armed Special Forces descend by rope from a helicopter during an
                                        anti-terror drill in Jakarta. (AFP/Bay Ismoyo)
                                     Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 21, 03 | 4:51 am | Profile

                               [1] comments (265 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Mon Oct 20, 2003

                                   Dieting & Getting Back In Shape Blues:
                                                     Jebus Chripps!

 I have been battling weight for years now. My damn metabolism took a nose dive a few years ago when I reached
    upper thirties and low forties. I, however, didn't change my eating and drinking habits. At the same time, I
                                freaking found less and less time to do active things.

 I got pretty sedimentary. Playing guitar (sitting), working 8 hours at a desk (sitting), being unemployed for a
year and a half (sitting, eating drinking, lounging on couch etc) didn't do much for my weight and depression. I
                                    was pretty messed up in an endless cycle.

 Now, I am trying to lose weight again. I went to the gym or the first time since April 2003. As most of you know,
  getting into the habit of going to the gym is important. The only thing is, during the first couple of weeks, that
habit is as fragile as a house of cards in a bean eating contest. But, I did get my start. Now I want no temptations,
  but, I forgot that I am expected to go to a work dinner in conjunction with a seminar on fires and their causes.
                                                    Fire! Fire! Fire!

    Anyway, I am trying to get out of it and it appears I may not be able to. That sucks. I pre-ordered s steak,
 everyone's diet food. I don't go for that Atkins bullshit where you can eat a whole damn cow as long as you don't
                                                    eat a potato.
  Anyway, I was good today, but a beer will no doubt be singing its siren song from the refrigerator tonight. "Oh
come on! Just a few beers. You worked hard and can start your diet tomorrow." It always happens, always! If I had
   a quarter for all the times I decided to start my diet "tomorrow", I could hire a personal trainer to kick my
                                              freakin' ass into shape.

                                       Things to do when I win the lottery:
                                             1- Hire a personal trainer
                                      2- Hired a chef who cooks healthy crap
                                            3- Become a world traveler
                                                  4- Publish books

                    Of all those, number one is the pre-req for it all...'cept winning the lottery.

   I am taking donations in lieu of winning the lottery. No. I am taking charity from some Hollywood star who can
 afford the cash. Hey Hollywood star, do something good for a change! Buy me a personal trainer! Yeah, you'll feel
    good. Or better yet, move in with us and work out with me and I will keep you off drugs! Whadda deal. Like I
probably could've saved Kurt Cobain if he'd a moved in before blowing off his head. He coulda worked out with me,
got rid of all his demons and just chilled. Maybe that's what I need is a suicidal rock star to move in and change my
                                  life. Who could that be? Hmmmm, any suggestions?

  Anyway, short of that, I guess I will just try and keep going to the gym at lunch and eating right for a change.
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 1:27 pm | Profile

                             [7] comments (341 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                             Another Good Story You've Not Heard About:
                                                Here is an excerpt:

  Brady, a daytime talk-show host based in Los Angeles, announced during a live airing of his show Oct. 1 he and
Disney were picking up the tab to treat the Marines to the vacation. One hundred sixty-seven Marines and family
members received passes to any of Walt Disney World's six theme parks and a free stay for four nights at their
                                            All-Star Sports Resort.

   "You guys lay your lives on the line for us all the time, and I just feel that you don't necessarily get all of the
 appreciation that you could," Brady explained. "So to be in a position where Disney says 'Hey Wayne, what do you
want to do?' and I am in the position to say 'Can I fly out all these troops to Disney to have a good time for a week
                                     or so?' They say 'yes,' that feels incredible."

                                              Read The Whole Story

                                             Link to Wayne Brady Site:
                                              The Wayne Brady Show
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 11:27 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (203 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
   Yarbz Caption: Ahfah Ka-Mahseelf cheers as he and his band of silly idiots successfully destroy a US truck
  further delaying any chance of positive social and economic change. The group, who call themselves D.O.P.E.S
(Destroyers of a Positive Economy & Society) handed out a flyer stating their goal. That goal is to "ensure poverty
 and religious persecution while forcing Iraqis to live in third-world conditions because we don't want to bathe or
  work or act civilized... Ever." It may well come true if mainstream Iraqis don't rise up against DOPES and begin
                                              working for peace and civility.

Original Caption: An Iraqi from the restive town of Falluja celebrates as a U.S. Army ammunition truck burns Oct.
19, 2003. Witnesses said the vehicle had been hit with a rocket-propelled grenade in an ambush, and there was no
 information on casualties. Two U.S. soldiers were killed in another attack late Saturday near the town of Kirkuk.
                                              (Akram Saleh/Reuters)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 7:03 am | Profile

                             [9] comments (279 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                  Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
                                          Goes to: Osamalama DingDong!

This dude is just a piece of crap (turd) and it becomes more and more evident daily to any sane individuals. He tells
anyone who will listen on his little video tape that they should never resolve any issue with a Western nation using
diplomacy. Well whadda you know 'bout dat. He’s just a hoodlum and enjoys the violence. At least I can say without
    a doubt that the US and Britain, as well as our allies, prefer not to fight and ALWAYS look for a diplomatic
     solution first. Osamalama, you're the winner of the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award, Conflatuations!

Caption: Iraqis watch al-Jazeera television broadcasting an audiotape attributed to Osama bin Laden, at a cafe in
                                            Baghdad(AFP/Sabah Arar)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 6:30 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (235 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                     Just One of Many Who Deserve Our Thoughts & Prayers:
I saw this photo on the Yahoo news images site and it made me so very sad. He was killed recently while negotiating
with some scumbags. A look at his ribbons will tell you he has been around. We salute all those who have died in this
   War on Terror as well as those who do the fighting every day. Juggernuts prays for the families loosing their
  fathers, brothers, sons, daughters and sometimes even mothers. It is important to mention that JUGGERNUTS
 supports the War of Terror, for without it, we will be fighting it here. We certainly can expect more attacks, but
                          it is truly better to take them on elsewhere as much as possible.

  Caption: Lt. Col. Kim S. Orlando, 43, of Tennessee, is shown in this undated military photo, is one of three Fort
    Campbell soldiers that died Friday, Oct. 17, 2003, after attempting to negotiate with armed men that were
congregating on a road near a mosque after curfew in Karbala, Iraq. (AP Photo/Fort Campbell Public Affairs Office,

    The thing that the caption doesn't say, that I want to know is, how many of the bastards were taken out?
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 6:16 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (243 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Sun Oct 19, 2003

                                           Halloween is coming.....

    This is my FAVORITE time of the year. We got married on the day before HALLOWEEN. I grew up going to
 Horror movies with my insane dad. We would go EVERY friday night to Horror Movies at the local Drive-In. I sort
  of consider myself as a connoisseur of Horror,Suspense and Sci-Fi. Uzi and I have compiled a list of movies that
are garanteed to scare and entertain. I am sure I have forgotten a few but this list of 72 flicks withstand the test
 of time. I have included movies from the 1930's up to the present. I have seen all of these movies at least twice.
     so print out this list and go to the video store!!! Have fun and let us know what you think. The more *** the
                                                     better..... Enjoy

                                              2,000 Maniacs***
                                             28 Days Later******
                                        The Abomible Dr. Phibes******
                                                The Birds*****
                                 Black Sunday (Starring Barbara Steele)******
                                                 Blade II****
                                         The Blair Witch Project*****
                                                 Candy Man**
                                             Cannibal Holocaust**
                       Carnival Of Souls*****
                           Clown House***
             The Creature from the Black Lagoon****
                     Count Yorga: Vampire****
                   Dario Argento's "Demons"***
                    Dr.Phibes Rises Again*****
Dracula Has Risen From The Grave (starring Christopher Lee)****
                 Earth vs.The Flying Saucers****
       El Espinoza Del Diablo (The Devil's Backbone)******
                         Event Horizon*****
                            Evil Dead****
                         The Exorcist*****
                      The Exorcist III******
             The Fly (David Cronenberg, Director)***
                         From Beyond*****
                           From Hell*****
                          Halloween II****
                     The Hills Have Eyes*****
                    The Hills Have Eyes II***
                   House of 1000 Corpses******
                 Interview With A Vampire*****
     Invasion OF The Bodysnatchers (Original Version)*****
                       Jeepers Creepers*****
               John Carpenter's "The Thing"******
                    The Mummy (1999)*******
                 The Mummy Returns (2001)*****
            Night Of THe Living Dead (1968)*******
                  Nightmare On Elm Street*****
                           The Omen*****
                       Original "Dracula"****
                   Original "Frankenstein"*****
                    Original "The Mummy"*****
                           The Other****
                         The Others******
                        Pet Sematary II****
                    Queen Of The Damned***
                  Return Of The Living Dead***
                            The Ring*****
                 Ringu (the orig Japanese)*******
                           Ringu: 0******
                The Shining (both versions)******
                    Silence of the Lambs******
                      The Sixth Sense******
                        Sleepy Hollow******
                          Spider Baby****
                        Stir of Echoes*****
  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper Director)******
                                                 The Tingler****
                                               Vampire Circus****
                                         Werner Herzog's"Nosferatu"*****
                                                Wizard Of Gore**
                                                The Wolfman***
                               Posted by: DaneBramage on Oct 19, 03 | 9:49 pm | Profile

                              [1] comments (218 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Sat Oct 18, 2003

                                             Billy O'Reilly My Buddy
Ok here is one of my favorite people to bitch about. I used to watch this guy religiously until his second book. Then
 I had a hard time seeing the graphics displayed on the screen because his extremely swelled head got in the way!
I’ve never seen anyone so absorb in himself! With one exception the Hollywood liberals that he hates so much. Got
                   news for you Billy boy you act like them! You are them they are you! More...
                                Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 18, 03 | 10:14 am | Profile

                              [2] comments (231 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                  A Happy Ending
                                                From The Morning Call

                              Compromise lifts ban on cheerleader uniforms in class

BERWICK, Pa. (AP) - The Berwick Area School District board decided to allow cheerleaders to wear their uniforms
  to class on football game days even though some have skirts too short to meet the school dress-code. More...
                                 Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 18, 03 | 9:10 am | Profile

                              [1] comments (243 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Fri Oct 17, 2003

                                      Artists Rendition of a Turd Brain
                                     FYI. This is a Turd Brain. I found it online.
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 17, 03 | 12:35 pm | Profile

                             [10] comments (358 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Baseball Lore Abounds
 The mood in greater Chicago remains somber due to the Cubbies losing the NLCS to the Marlins. Here is a little
story about Cubs history that may not cheer you up, or make you feel better, but might make you more interesting
                                              at cocktail parties.

I also doubt that RedSox fans will gain anything or feel any better this morning from this little tidbit of baseball
                                        history (fully displayed in "more").

 Since the curses of the Goat and the Bambino are apparently working, I decided to plant a curse myself. I took a
 Yankees booblehead (Don Zimmer I think) and dug a hole in my garden. Into the hole went the bobblehead, some
 fingernail and toenail clippings, a plastic marlin drink stirrer, a wax figure of Roger Clemons, an old pinstripe suit,
 some pins and needles I collected from my wife's sewing kit and about 20 pounds of rotweiller poop. I mutterred
       some profanities and spoke some voodoo shit that I found on the internet and created my own curse.

                                                 Marlins in four. More...
                                  Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 17, 03 | 7:17 am | Profile

                               [5] comments (314 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

                  Germany and France Vote For Anti-Yankee Resolution
                                              Massachusetts to follow suit

    Yarbz Caption: Renowned Yankee haters and odd bedfellows, Germany and France, push through a vote in the United
 Nations Security Counsel to ban Yankees from Europe. According to the wording of the resolution, neither the team, nor
 any individual who was, is or will be, a Yankee, will ever be issued a Visa to visit the two cranky countries. Massachusetts,
  one of the States in the American Northeast and home to the perpetual Yankee victims, has also passed a bill aimed at
   funding the building of a wall, complete with gun towers, surrounding the border of the State. At each point of entry,
there will be checks to confirm the allegiance of anyone wishing to enter the State. Each individual will be required to sign
a statement cursing the Yankees and New York in general. Once signed, there will be phone monitoring and closet checks to
                            make sure no hidden Yankee fans or paraphernalia escape the system.

 Original Caption: French Ambassador to the United Nations (news - web sites) Jean-Marc de La Sabliere(L) and German
   Ambassador Gunter Pleuger(R) raise their hands as they vote in favor of the Iraq (news - web sites) resolution in the
Security Council chambers in New York, October 16, 2003. The Council voted unanimously to adopt a resolution on postwar
Iraq, a victory for the United States which sought approval for its occupation of the country. Until hours before the vote,
  the support of key council members, Russia, Germany and France was in doubt. All had opposed the U.S.-led invasion of
                                             Iraq. (Stephen Chernin/Reuters)
                                    Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 17, 03 | 6:23 am | Profile

                               [6] comments (329 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                    Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
                                                    Goes to: The Babe!
This man can hold a grudge like no other. I truly believe that when Aaron Boone stepped up to the plate, there was
 an entity within him that was not indigenous to his soul. There was an angry fat man in him last night. An angry fat
 man that rose up out of the ancient sweat drops that had been washed deep into the field by decades of rain and
 layers of new sod. These droplets rose up and formed the ghost of a man that cursed the Red Sox so many years
ago. Stepping into the slumping Boone's body, the fat man conjured up a mighty swing and took the game away from
the Sox once and for all. This angry fat man has to be exorcised from this planet. The angry fat man is the Smelly
            Brown Turd of the Day. Conflatuations Babe! I bet you were pretty flatulent in your day too!
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 17, 03 | 5:59 am | Profile

                              [4] comments (301 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Thu Oct 16, 2003

                         Kennedy Voting "No" on $$$ for Iraq (and troops...)
                                 Plans To Stick His Dick Into Troops Ass Too)...

  WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Massachusetts, the Senate's most influential liberal voice,
    announced Thursday he intends to vote against President Bush's $87 billion spending request for Iraq.

     "When the roll is called on this $87 billion legislation, which provides no effective conditions for genuine
   international participation and a clear change in policy in Iraq, I intend to vote no," Kennedy said in a stinging
                                        speech delivered on the Senate floor.

                            Read More About This Fucking Asshole Kennedy At CNN
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 16, 03 | 11:27 am | Profile

                             [14] comments (319 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

                                  Poverty Reaches New Low Highs
  Yarbz Caption: Len Miahammer, a carpenter in the poverty stricken outskirts of Moscow, builds a bookcase with only his
 body to use for tools. Mr. Miahammer, and numerous others in the area, cannot afford tools. A charity has been organized
in the United States that will try and supply these people with the basic tools necessary to build homes and other projects
                                            such as pickup trucks and Budweiser.

  Original Caption: Nine-inch nail : A performer from The Great Moscow Circus pulls a nail out of a board with his teeth
                    during a free performance at a local shopping mall in Hong Kong. (AFP/Mike Clarke)
                                     Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 16, 03 | 6:54 am | Profile

                               [1] comments (239 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          New, Semi-Regular Feature:

                                             Most Screwed Dude!
Rightfully or wrongfully, this dude is gonna be SCREWED! for some time to come. Maybe he can milk it for some publicity
                                        or money or fame, but mostly, he is screwed.

                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 16, 03 | 6:34 am | Profile

                              [6] comments (232 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                    Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
                                  Goes to: The Sleeping Pilot of Staten Island Ferry!
  What the hell! 10 people (more or less) dead because this dude couldn’t stay awake... He must be sent to prison.
 How do you get so freaking stupid? Is it because he was born stupid? Is it because he was too old or too young or
just a total imbecile? Anyway, I can't wait to see who he is and what they do to him. Wherever he goes to jail, may
                               he be porked, poked and prodded severely and often.

       Addendum: This SBT award will be withdrawn if news stories of him sleeping are found to be false.

Caption: The pilot cabin of the Staten Island ferry, Andrew J. Barberi, is seen at the dock in Staten Island, New
  York, after it crashed into a pier, killing as many as 10 and injuring dozens of passengers.(AFP/Stan Honda)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 16, 03 | 6:21 am | Profile

                            [6] comments (298 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                           Wed Oct 15, 2003

                                       Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
                                         Startling New Trend Continues!
Yarbz Caption: The startling and dangerously disgusting new trend "Poop Snapping" had been catching on with youth
 and some adults. The activity involves eating vast amounts of food and drinking lots of coffee. As soon as one can
process the ingredients, a large bowel movement or "poop" is created. Participants then use a digital camera to take
  a photo of the poop and post on numerous websites including "PoopPics.com" and "GargantuanFloaters.com". The
    image above was taken from "Poops That Look Like Stupid People.com". If the trend continues, according to
   Dumocratic strategists, it could "help the left take back the Whitehouse because so many of our candidates
                                           resemble shit and sphincters."

Original Caption About This Dumbass: Filmmaker Michael Moore, shown in London in this Feb. 24, 2003, file photo,
told students at Butler University that last week's California recall election offered hope for democracy- and for
 defeating President Bush next year. "Anytime you have an angry mob of voters, that can't be a bad thing,'' the
Oscar-winning maker of "Bowling for Columbine'' told about 2,100 people during a speech Monday, Oct. 13, 2003 in
                                      Indianpolis. (AP Photo/Max Nash, File)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 15, 03 | 7:01 am | Profile

                            [10] comments (473 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                     Just unreal.

     Was it the curse of the goat? Or was it just those loveable losers from Chicago's North Side choking?

                               Just unreal. I am not sure I can even watch game 7.
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 15, 03 | 7:01 am | Profile

                            [12] comments (404 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Four "G" Site of the Day! Turn it up!
                                                    From the site:

 The following words were spoken by the late Red Skelton on his television program as he related the story of his
 teacher, Mr. Laswell, who felt his students had come to think of the Pledge of Allegiance as merely something to
                                              recite in class each day.

                            Now, more than ever, listen to the meaning of these words.
                                                   Read and Listen!
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 15, 03 | 6:54 am | Profile

                              [1] comments (251 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
Goes to: Wilson Cherenfant! His girlfriend left him and found another boyfriend. The woman, now close to death at
                           the hand of Cherenfant, probably won't take him back now.

What A Turd: The guy, who obviously only has a turd for a brain, shot the woman and three of her children due to
his anger. While this is all very tragic, it is now amply clear that she did the right thing by leaving this bastard and
 now he will get several new boyfriends when he arrives at his new digs! So, you're the Smelly Brown Turd of the
                                                 Day! Conflatuations Willie!

  Caption: Wilson Cherenfant, seen in this Tuesday, Oct. 14, 2003, police handout photo, is in the custody of the
  Orange County, Fla., Sheriff's office. Cherenfant allegedly shot his girlfriend and three of her children early
    Tuesday, killing a boy and a girl and leaving the mother and the other child in critical condition, police said.
   Cherenfant apparently shot them because the woman had found a new boyfriend. (AP Photo/Orange County
                                                 Sheriffs Office, HO)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 15, 03 | 6:39 am | Profile

                              [4] comments (311 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Tue Oct 14, 2003

                                           Now, It's Time to Govern
                                          Now, It's Time to Govern
 Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to repeal the car tax, cut the deficit, expand education spending, and not raise
                                               taxes. Good Luck.
                                             by Irwin M. Stelzer
                                              The Daily Standard

                                                  Good luck Arnold!

                                Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 14, 03 | 8:29 pm | Profile

                             [1] comments (274 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Bill O'Reilly on NPR
                                  This is worth a listen . It's 40 minutes in length.

I think O'Reilly does an excellent job of defending his positions, statements and mistakes. I really don't like him so
  it's hard for me to say that. However at the end he freaked out accusing NPR of doing a "Hatchet job". He then
 complained that he was invited on to talk about his book but instead NPR was just attacking him and he ended the

 I don't believe this to be true. Almost every question was centered around or on the book. She even plugged his
book several times. I also think Bill forgot that some people need to learn a bit about the author to decide if they
                                                 want to buy a book.

If you want to learn about the book you can just watch his swelled head on his overrated show. You might see a plug
                                               say every 30 seconds.

                                          So O'Reilly what’s the problem?
                                Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 14, 03 | 7:34 pm | Profile

                             [17] comments (451 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                Jesse Jackson: "Pig" or "Misunderstood"?

This is from his Sept 1, 2003 arrest but what a nice picture of Jesse. Money hungry leaders who only think only of
                          themselves and not the people they represent should be jailed!

                                   Here is a fine example of that.

                 Oh and I won’t call him Reverend cause no ordained minister would assault anyone.

              Now I ask one question. Is Jesse a greed driven racist pig or is he just misrepresented?

                                                  Comments Please!
                                Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 14, 03 | 1:29 pm | Profile

                             [4] comments (293 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
                                     New Security Procedures Planned:
                                           Pillow bombs feared on planes.

                                               By John Mintz and
                                               Sara Kehaulani Goo
                                            THE WASHINGTON POST

Oct. 14 — Airport screeners in this country and overseas are on the lookout for suspicious pillows, coats and even
  stuffed animals after U.S. intelligence concluded that al Qaeda operatives are being trained to apply special
          chemicals to the material inside to transform them into bombs. Read Whole MSNBC Story

Yarbz: So, the tricky little bastards are going to keep getting creative. I have searched the web and several other
 sources for more material and information regarding the bombs in unlikely places scenario. Here are some of the
                         other places that airport security will be paying close attention to:

  1- Breast Bombs. Women across the country will have to show their breasts in the near future whenever they
 walk through the airport gate. This is more serious when the breasts are large. Larger breasts can conceal larger
bombs and will have to be carefully inspected to ensure proper security. The need for a more adept security force
   will require professionals who are keenly aware of the feel of natural breasts verses enhanced or replicated

   2- Porno Mags. Guncotton, or nitrocellulose, can also be made into porno magazines. Such magazines will be
       confiscated by male security and taken to a small private room where they will be examined closely.

 3- Panties and Bras. These items may be made with explosive fiber and will be confiscated. Security will follow
                               the same procedure described in number 2 above.

4- Women. Using a new technology, terrorists are expected to begin using android technology. While it is possible
to create androids of both sexes, it has been determined that nobody in their right mind would ever create a male
 android. Therefore, all women will be taken from the line and tested for arousal and reproductive capabilities to
   confirm authenticity. Heavy or horrible looking women will not be tested as it has also been determined that
nobody in their right mind would create an android that didn't look "hot" or "in-fucking-credible" to male security
           guards. (Note: some lesbian security may also find the androids hot or in-fucking-credible.)

It should be noted that the citizenry of the country will be expected to put fourth a patriotic effort by inspecting
          various and sundry breasts, porno-mags, lingerie and women if they suspect anything suspicious.
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 14, 03 | 12:54 pm | Profile

                             [3] comments (232 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                  Just one word
                                    This describes exactly how I feel right now:


 WARNING: Not Safe for Work (NSFW). Turn down the volume before opening the link. Also, you don't have to
                             wait until finished "loading" just click "play".

                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 14, 03 | 9:14 am | Profile

                             [5] comments (323 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Bonus (or is that Boner) Photo:
Just like Brittany, I am sure she is not trying to be sexy. She does look like the kid in grade school who brought in
                                      the best item for show and tell though...
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 14, 03 | 7:50 am | Profile

                            [5] comments (678 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                 Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
                                Goes to: Martha, the ever-widening, Stewart!

Why?: Why not. She thinks her celebrity will keep her out of jail. Here is an excerpt from a recent interview with
                                   the alwasy disgusting Barbara Walters:

"Who wouldn't be scared? Of course I'm scared," she told ABC's Barbara Walters during an interview taped over
   the weekend that is set to be broadcast next month. "The last place I would ever want to go is to prison."

 But she quickly returns to her carefully cultivated self-confident persona to make one other point: "And I don't
                                     think I will be going to prison, though."

 She doesn't think she'll go to prison. We'll the sad truth is that she probably won't. If it were your or I, we'd
have to chase down a couple of cases of duct tape. In any event, it's clear that Ms. Stewart has been making her
cake and eating it too... In more ways then one... Can you say heifer? Martha, you are clearly a Smelly Brown Turd!
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 14, 03 | 7:36 am | Profile

                             [11] comments (505 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

     Yarbz Caption: US Military officials announced yesterday that they believe Saddam Hussein has been using
  disguises in his attempt to avoid capture by coalition forces. Here, in a hand out issued by the joint command, is
 the latest artist’s sketch of who we should be looking for. It appears that the former dictator has morphed into
 Hellvis Insane. He recently was heard by neighbors who reported to Iraqi police that Mr. Insane has been working
on vocal renditions of several cover tunes, including several favorites, "Hard Headed Islam", "Jailhouse Rock", "Viva
 Las Baghdad", "Love Me Surrender", "Don't Be Cruel Like Me" and the famous "Hound Dog Bit Onto My Dick (and
                                              caused Blue Suede Balls)".
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 14, 03 | 7:08 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (264 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                      Rumstud - a product of Chicago
  This article made me wax nostalgic and also made me proud to be from Greater Chicago-land. The story is about
  Donald Rumsfeld and how he grew up in a Chicago Suburb. It tells about his youth, his politics, his extraordinary
life and his astute intellect. A fascinating American hero in my less than humble opinion. Use the link above or click
                                          "more" for the full article. More...
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 14, 03 | 6:50 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (291 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Mon Oct 13, 2003

                                                  Well No Shit!
                                          Foxnews poll as of 1448hrs EST:

                                                 Accurate Portrait?

              Do you think the mainstream media are objectively representing the situation in Iraq?
                                           a. Yes, I think they are. (5%)

                          b. No, I think they are focusing too much on the negative. (91%)

                          c. No, I think they are focusing too much on the positive. (2%)

                                                d. I'm not sure. (2%)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 1:48 pm | Profile

                             [2] comments (249 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Good Article on Bad California Law:
   Can the Terminator kill the bad business laws of California like Sarah Connor? Knock knock! Who there? "Da
   Govanah". Sarah's Not Home! Only us Dumocrats. We didn't mean to ruin California, really! Don't kill us Mr.

                                                  From "Fortune"

                                             CALIFORNIA ELECTION
                                              Time For Some Muscle...
                 CEOs are cheering Arnold's win. Here's what he can—and can't—do for business

                                          Fortune Magazine Online Story
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 12:46 pm | Profile

                             [1] comments (254 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                  Smelly Brown turd of the Day Award:
                    Goes to: Both murderer Hugo Selenski and the Pennsylvania Prison System!

 Mr. Selenski must have been watching TV to get this cliché escape plan! What could the prison official have been
  doing while he gathered his sheets and ripped out the bars from the prison window? I've seen many a western
where the bars just came right out of the old window and thought to myself, "that's BS, there is no way that could
 happen..." In any event, I will reassess how I judge reality in movies... Mr. Selenski and all you prison guards and
                       officials: Conflatuations! You're the Smelly Brown Turds of the Day!
    Caption: Pennsylvania State police escort Hugo Selenski from his court appearance Monday, Oct. 6, 2003, in
   Kingston, Pa. The convicted bank robber, who was charged with murderin the deaths of two of the five people
  whose bodies were found buried in his back yard, escaped from prison by climbing 60 feet down a rope made of
                      bedsheets Friday evening, Oct. 10, 2003. (AP Photo/Brad C Bower, File)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 8:02 am | Profile

                             [6] comments (901 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                  Columbus Day
  I hate Columbus Day (CD). Lots of folks get the day off, schools are closed and there are parades in most big
                          cities east of Chicago with significant Italian populations..

My first experience with CD in Chicago was right after we moved here from Southern California. I couldn't get to
               a meeting downtown because the "Loop" was closed for some silly parade. Go figure.

 I will say the weekend was stellar. Triple bonfire event on Friday night with flashlight tag for the kids, then adult
interaction with adult beverages and followed by the older teens/young adults having quite the blow-out later. They
   had their own adult beverages. You should have seen all the beer cans come Saturday morning. They had picked
 them up and placed them in a garbage bag hanging from a tree. I doubt that any of them were able to pick up their
                                         heads very easily Saturday morning.

  At least the traffic was light this morning. You can't beat the weather with sunny and warm afternoons following
 cool mornings and then crisp fall evenings. The rest of the weekend was fun too with sleepovers for the kids (both
home and away) and interactions with friends for their mother and I (including rollerblading and golf). Gotta love it,
                                                 despite my golf score.

   It looks like the Cubs will at least be in a World Series at least once in my lifetime despite losing yesterday.

                                      Maybe Columbus Day ain't all that bad...

                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 13, 03 | 7:48 am | Profile

                             [24] comments (391 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
                                          Mad Islamic Jokester Arrested!
  Yarbz Caption: Muslim Comedic-Terrorist, Muk Tuhmahny Fuhnny, is taken to prison after being arrested after
 attempting to joke-to-death several airport security personnel. Mr. Fuhnny's first mistake was not realizing that
the US Government had only hired security people with no sense of humor. His second mistake was calling over the
    airport public address system for "Hugh Jexplosion" and "Yufli Yudie". The driver, a US Marshall, was given
specific instructions not to listen to the jokes from Fuhnny and to be on the lookout for possible rescue attempts
                                        by Fuhnny's Islamic Jokhad comrades.

  Original Caption: A US marshall (R) keeps his eye on Mukhtar Ali Albakri (L with orange shirt), one of the six
suspected Al Qaeda sleeper cell members from Lackawanna, NY, as their van pulls out from the US Courthouse in
                                      Buffalo, NY.(AFP/File/J.P. Moczulski)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 7:40 am | Profile

                            [6] comments (359 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Nude Dudes for Better Education?
                               I guess they must really have a problem in Oregon!

  The Original Caption...Strange Enough to Stand on its Own: 'Mr. April,' Larry Engels, 65, displays his calendar
 photo while posing Wednesday, Oct. 1, 2003, in Junction City, Ore. The calendar Engals appears in featuring the
 men of the Junction City Grange, is the latest Oregon gambit to raise money for local schools, in a state where
 teachers have already lined up to sell their blood plasma and ranchers have auctioned off the rights to hunt for
                         buffalo and antelope on their property. (AP Photo/Rick Bowmer)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 7:32 am | Profile

                            [3] comments (633 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                           Sun Oct 12, 2003

    "By Dennis Miller"... Juggernuts Regular Theft of Dennis' Essay's from Foxnews.com:
                                          Hasta la Vista, 'Grey' Davis

                                             Sunday, October 12, 2003
                                                 By Dennis Miller
    Hey, get this...The citizenry of California held an intervention for their fiscally drunk state on Tuesday and threw
             blandleader ‘Grey’ Davis out on his perpetually-cocked-in-the-direction-of-special-interests ear.

  I don’t want to say Davis lacks charisma, but his vanity license plate is a random series of numbers and letters. Double-
                jointed specialty dancers at Polynesian resorts could not limbo under Davis’ approval ratings.

 The recall was an amazingly cathartic process for the electorate of this once-great state and their repudiation of Davis
was comprehensive enough to at least earn him a time-share on Elba. Davis of course was replaced by what will hopefully be
 the Two-Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who brings with him an attitude more can-do than an apprentice concierge.

  I don’t want to say Davis lacks charisma, but his vanity license plate is a random series of numbers and letters. Double-
jointed specialty dancers at Polynesian resorts could not limbo under Davis’ approval ratings. (Continue by following the link

                                     Steal The Rest Of The Essay From Foxnews!
                                    Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 12, 03 | 6:47 am | Profile

                                [1] comments (214 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                Sat Oct 11, 2003

                                                 Crazy Dirty Hippies:
          This article is from Pitchfork.com and is about dirty stupid hippies who are cleanse-challenged...

                               Traveling String Cheese Incident Fans Spread Hepatitis

                                                 Ashford Tucker reports:

    According to the Houston Chronicle, Washington Times and KindWeb.com, loads of silly jerks who follow the
reprehensible shitgrass band The String Cheese Incident from town to town are spreading (ummm...we, like, prefer
    "sharing" to "spreading," dude) the hepatitis A virus at an alarming rate. Though not quite a full blown social
epidemic just yet, the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta states that it will focus on vaccinating "kids who travel
                                                   with the band."

Vaccinations were given for free at the band's recent Oakland, CA concert. Hepatitis A causes nausea and vomiting
   for approximately a week or two. It's not usually life-threatening, though, unlike its bad motherfucking older
brother hepatitis B. And hepatitis C, you remember, is what Pam and Tommy gave each other and then tried to play
                                      off as the result of a tattooing accident.

  The A strain of hepatitis, in fact, is not generally found in nations with developed sanitation systems. It's not so
   much a needles-and-sex-virus as it is a wipe-ass-with-hand-while-drinking-from-the-Ganges-virus. So, moms and
    dads, tell little Billy to take a freakin' bath every week or so while on "tour." Or don't-- I mean, if Billy liked
listening to you, he probably wouldn't be an acid-devouring gypsy wasting away the most productive years of his life
                                  running away from you and sleeping in friends' Vanagons.

 In closing, we here at Pitchfork would like to beg all of the simple fucks involved to begin a rigorous regimen of
 warshing before they resurrect the bubonic plague and plunge us back into the dark ages. I'm not sure the Arab
                                          world would bail us all out again.
                                    Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 11, 03 | 11:36 am | Profile
                             [6] comments (288 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Fri Oct 10, 2003

         She is mad about these pics. Go Figure. While I am not a fan of her work, I am a fan of her pics.
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 10, 03 | 1:50 pm | Profile

                             [1] comments (217 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                               Ugliest car survey
                                        Which of these vehicles is ugliest?
                                               * 12634 responses
                                              Chevrolet Avalanche
                                               Chrysler PT Cruiser
                                                 Honda Element
                                                  Pontiac Aztek
                                                  Toyota Scion

   How can anything be uglier than that damn Honda? The Aztek is hideous, but the Honda looks like a bunch of
                                          lunatics slapped it together.
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 10, 03 | 10:10 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (267 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                    Arafat reported to have CANCER.
  Many news sources are reporting that Yassar Arafat (you know that Palestinian asshole terrorist) has stomach
 cancer and it is spreading to his liver. Also it is reported that he had a heart attack last week. Arafat's doctors
 say these reports are untrue as they report that he has fucked his camel over 20 times in the last 11 days. "This
 attests to his stamina and his incredible libido.",said Dr.Yousoff Ullasheet, he did add that Arafat only needed a
boost two or three times. Recent pictures show Arafat gaunt and weak looking, not to mention he has always looked
                           like his mother set his face on fire and put it out with a rake.
                              Posted by: DaneBramage on Oct 10, 03 | 9:18 am | Profile

                             [6] comments (319 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                This angers me.
Today is the day that Tommy Chong is reporting to Federal Prison in Bakersfiled, CA to begin serving a nine month
    term for owning a company that makes hukkas and water pipes. They were sold over the internet and are
                                  represented to be "for tobacco use only".

This is shocking. It makes me , a somewhat conservative republican 41 year old father, want to commit acts of Civil
    Disobedience. I want to stop traffic and protest and makes big signs and yell at cops and try all manner of
                   irritating nonsensical behavior until they let this 65 year old man out of prison.

                                            Free Tommy Chong. More...
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 10, 03 | 7:26 am | Profile

                            [12] comments (395 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                A drink a day...
  Posted based on the blogtuativeness of BuddhaBoy. Confirming the myth that drinking alcohol in moderation is
                     good for you and can even stave off dementia in older years... More...
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 10, 03 | 7:23 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (222 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                 Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
                                          Goes to: Stinky Andy Pee Tit!

Why? Because he is a Skanky and has, as Paul’s Grandfather would have put it, has a "Hideous Great Hooter". The
Sox now return home for three games where they will not see the Hideous Great Hooter. It does appear that the
 HGH might allow for an expansive filling of lungs... Either way, he probably crawls of the floor of his house and
 vacuums the floor while he breathes. Conflatuations Mr. Pee Tit! You are the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day!
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 10, 03 | 7:06 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (238 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

 Yarbz Caption: With the success of the "Art Cow" program around the world, the Mexican government has began
    their own version of the show. Artists around Mexico are taking homeless men and women and dressing and
 arraigning them for the "Homeless Hombre Tour". People from all around the city are walking the streets again,
     looking at the display of homeless people. Here, a crowd walks past "Sanitary Sanchez", a piece that uses
 juxtaposition as a tool to point out that homelessness does not always mean stink. While Sanitary Sanchez looks
 like he might stink, the artist has gone to great lengths to make him smell like flowers with a fresh clean scent.
                   The un-expected pleasant smell of this display has been the talk of the show.

Original Caption: While you were sleeping... : A homeless sleeps in a Mexico City street while naked demonstrators
of the "400 Pueblos" organisation rally wearing masks representing former Mexican Presidents Carlos Salinas and
                                        Ernesto Zedillo. (AFP/Jorge Uzon)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 10, 03 | 6:54 am | Profile
                              [2] comments (249 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Thu Oct 09, 2003

                                             A Recent Yarbz Photo:

                                   The New Britain Criterion, 2003. Yarbz Photo.
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 09, 03 | 2:07 pm | Profile

                              [1] comments (242 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             The Whizzinator - Ha!
 I thought this was funny. The Whizzinator is a device designed to help folks beat urine tests. Comes with fake
penis and everything! Even in five different flesh-like colors! See the link or hit "more" for the full story. More...
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 09, 03 | 11:00 am | Profile

                              [3] comments (444 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

This is my favorite blog topic, driving. Not that I live to drive, or drive for a living, but what gets me is people who
 can't drive or do so very poorly so as to cause danger to me. I also see people in cars just exhibiting the dumbest
behaviors (eating, reading, drinking, shaving, applying make-up, making random lane changes without signalling, going
                    way too fast for conditions or traffic, swerving, yakking on the phone, etc.).

  This morning, it was the first interesetion that I approached where I saw utter ignorance. I was approaching to
 make a right turn. The light was red and there were two vehicles waiting for the light to change. The first vehicle
in line was a large delivery truck. He has pulled to the limit line and appeared to be behaving in a normal and diligent
fashion. The car behind him is where I saw the ignorance for this first time this morning; not for the last time, but
                                                   it was memorable.

He was at least three car lengths behind the truck. I needed him to pull up just half a car length or so to allow me
to get beyond him into the right turn lane and then I could make my turn. Just half a car length, about 5 or 6 feet
         max and he has at least 25 or thirty feet between his front bumper and the back of the truck.

                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 09, 03 | 8:21 am | Profile

                              [8] comments (282 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
                                                        Goes to:
The Beltway Sniper, John Allen Muhammad, is todays Smelly Brown Turd Award Recipient. Conflatulations!! In fact,
  Mr. Muhammad, you and your little buddy Malvo are being nominated for the Juggernuts Lifetime Smelly Brown
 Turd Awards for your stupidity, your 3 week murder spree and the fact that you just suck. The lives you took and
  the lives you wrecked and the terror you inflicted are unforgiveable. What a Smelly Brown Turd you truly are.
                                          Conflatulations again. More...
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 09, 03 | 7:58 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (303 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

     Yarbz Caption: In this photo captured by photographer Romeo Gacad, the rare and unusual event known to
 scientists as by the Latin term, eryth fartho or "Earth Fart", is seen escaping from the bowels of East Java. Mr.
Gacad has been seeking the elusive shot for more then three decades. Upon his success recently, he celebrated at
                                                  a local beanery.

 Original Caption: East Java Volcano : Smoke and ash rise out from the summit of an active volcano at dusk in East
Java, Indonesia, in this photo taken from a commercial plane. Government volcanologists are closely monitoring the
volcanic activity that has been going on for months. Indonesia's southern region is home to several active volcanos.
                                                (AFP/Romeo Gacad)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 09, 03 | 7:18 am | Profile

                            [1] comments (254 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                           Wed Oct 08, 2003

                                   Some Lyrics I Wrote A While Ago:
                                      Here is a short bit from Maginot Line

                                    Ideas so different from those of our own
                                       Culture and theory we don’t condone
                                     The Soviets once tried to block them all
                                       To blunt and destroy the Sirens call
                                   Didn’t learn nothin’ from an empires' demise
                                   Imprison dissenters label new thoughts lies
                                  We interpret our history as our needs dictate
                                  To reap what we’ve sown it’s got to be out fate

                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 08, 03 | 1:44 pm | Profile

                            [2] comments (244 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                         If you shoot yourself @ work is that compensable?
                                           This chaps my hide. More...
                              Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 08, 03 | 11:04 am | Profile

                            [11] comments (321 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        No Cheerleader Uniforms??
                 I posted this at the suggestion of Rich who didn't think this was "blogtuative".

                                              I disagree. This SUCKs.

I very fondly recall the cheerleaders @ W. A. Berry High School in Hoover, AL and at Riverside High School in
                                                Sarasota, FL.

 Ahh, the uniforms. Oh yes, the uniforms. Short skirts. Bold Colors. Tight Sweaters. Pom Poms. Long smooth legs
                                     that went to the neckline. Ahhhhhhhhh.

              And now some dipshit wants to bar these poor girls from showing a little school spirit?

                                         Rich is right. That sucks. More...
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 08, 03 | 9:50 am | Profile

                            [6] comments (383 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                             Canadian Judges Play with Grass Laws (again)
                   Here is a little story about the ongoing changes to marijuana laws in Canada.

     This is an issue that really requires close scrutiny and attention. Frankly, the laws against possession are
  unenforceable and archaic. The United States should really take the lead and decriminalize weed and focus the
attention of the DEA on real drug problems (cocaine, heroin, etc...). The recent debacle about medical marijuana in
   California demonstrates the requirement for frank and honest discussion on the issue. It also manifests the
  absolute need for real science to be brought to bear on any decision making. Let's remove the mythologies and
focus on realities. Our judicial neighbors to the North are at least trying to figure it out. Perhaps the new Govenor
              in Callyfornya can bring the light of truth to bear on the issue. I won't hold my breath...
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 08, 03 | 8:13 am | Profile

                            [14] comments (302 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                  Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
                                         Goes to: This Dumb Athletics Fan

                                        From Monday night in California...

  This guy is obviously happy that he taunted the Red Sox after Johnny Damon collided with a teammate in the
 outfield. While Damon will be OK, this dude, is clearly filling his pants with the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day

                         Also, look at the size of the cops arm! It's as big as SBT's head!

                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 08, 03 | 6:33 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (282 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Yarbz caption: Democrats, angry with Arnold Schwarzenegger's victory in the recall, are charging that the action
 star has been raising the dead in order to obtain enough votes to beat Cruise Bustamove. As evidence supporting
      the allegations, Gray Davis offered this photo with the obviously dead celebrating the victory with Mr.
Schwarzenegger. The State Morgue is looking into the charges and will perform autopsies on many of the voters in
                                                 the days to come.

Original Caption: Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger, center, is joined by wife Maria Shriver, right, and mother-in-
  law Eunice Kennedy-Shriver following his victory in the California gubernatorial recall election in Los Angeles,
                                Tuesday, Oct. 7, 2003. (AP Photo/Stephan Savoia)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 08, 03 | 6:21 am | Profile

                             [5] comments (225 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Tue Oct 07, 2003

                                                 Total Recall Day
Well, we find out today if the California voters have half a brain or not. Whether those brains are half full or half
 empty remains to be seen. I think you have to vote against the recall if you are on the side of democracy (as much
     as I loathe Gay Davis). The voting on the side of Arnold and or Cruz "ManBra" Bustamente is on the side of
 radicalism and Hollywood. Does anyone really believe that Arnold is the man for the job? Really? He certainly has
been a successful businessman and actor. It might be "cool" if he is elected and will certainly supply endless fodder
   for pundits and blogs and newspaper columnists. He displays leadership qualities and is smart. That means he is
 more qualified in my opinion than most career politicians. But is he the right guy? He is related (only by marriage)
  to the Kennedys, yet boasts a republican sway and a conservative swagger. The right has to love this guy. I think
      that means that we kill him last, but not that we elect him God of California. Let the voters speak. I have
                                confidence that democracy will prevail. We shall see.
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 07, 03 | 8:17 am | Profile

                             [12] comments (267 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Fundamentalism kills fags dead
                                          Posted at the request of Pnutts:

    Hey, I thought this would make for some interseting fodder. People like this are why I didn't think the ten
                     commandment should be in a public place. It just brings out the wackos.

                              Great headline though: Fundamentalism kills fags dead.

                                                   Wackos Indeed!
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 07, 03 | 8:09 am | Profile
                            [22] comments (361 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Mon Oct 06, 2003

           ...Like Feminists Needed Another Reason To Be Thought Of As Dumb...
    They may as well back mandatory castrations. What a bunch of idiots. Backing Braun is like backing farts.


    WASHINGTON — The words "Madame President" may be ringing in their ears, but women voters are not
                                 necessarily heeding the call.

 Long-time feminists, who for 30 years have been fighting for a crack at the Oval Office, say it would be a true
 symbol of equality if Americans elected a woman president – and a better country it will be when that happens.

                                                      Read Mo
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 06, 03 | 7:46 pm | Profile

                            [5] comments (277 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Hey Hey; Holy Cow!!!!
  Let's see, did anything exciting happen over the weekend? Was it painting the front door? mowing the yard?
 cooking fabulous yummy meals? cleaning the house? re-arranging furniture? grocery shopping? killin brain cells?
                                       paying the late fee at Blockbuster?

 hmmmmm... All of these things are very exciting and I can't wait to do them all again but one thing really stands
                                       out: CUBS WIN!!!! CUBS WIN!!!

 Man, for the first time since 1908 the Cubs have won a post-season series and if they can get past the Marlins,
they go to the World Series. How fitting. The 100th anniversary of the World Series. It's been almost a hundred
                                 years since the Cubbies were there. We LOVE it.

   As a side note, the Bears also won. Wow. My prediction that they might not win a game was dashed. More...
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 06, 03 | 7:47 am | Profile

                            [4] comments (299 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                 Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
This may well be the last time Gray Davis wins the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award as he will be irrelevant. On
   Tuesday, if all goes as it appears, he will be rightfully shucked from the shell that is the Governors office in
  California. Because he is such a weak figure in a state that needs strong, passionate leadership, and a man who
            can't see he is finished and politically impotent, he earns what is likely his last SBT Award.

                  And all the children sing: "¡El gobernador Davis es un movimiento de intestinos!"
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 06, 03 | 6:57 am | Profile

                             [8] comments (268 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:

Yarbz Caption: Actor and Pinhead Dumocrat, Danny Glover, laughs as he speak about why he can't see beyond party
loyalty in the effort to bring in a Governor with a brain and a pair of testicles to California. Glover admitted during
  the interview that he does not care about California, only the leftist’s agenda. In addition, after questioning, he
   decided that Arnold Schwarzenegger should be tried for murder for all the deaths occurring during his films.
Glover feels, like many in Hollywood, that movies are so important and the characters so vital, that the characters
  are in fact real. Therefore, charactors should be subject to the same rights and privileges as illegal immigrants.
 The term used to describe this new voting minority is "Virtual Americans". The Group, "Leftist Actors for Rights
 for Virtual Americans Everywhere" (LARVAE), has begun a petition drive to add Virtual American Rights to the
ballot in the next scheduled election. This initiative would allow actors for vote twice or more, once as themselves,
                         and once for each Virtual American they portray during the year.

 Original Caption: Actor Danny Glover, center, laugh as he speaks to the press about his experience working with
 Republican Gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger and why he is campaigning with California Governor
     Gray Davis on his tour of California on a flight from San Jose to Los Angeles, Sunday Oct. 5, 2003. (AP
                                             Photo/Kevork Djansezian)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 06, 03 | 6:21 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (240 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                   The "Hitler" Syndrome Applies to the Clintons, Not Schwarzy
                                               From NewsMax.com:

  We are not sure Arnold Schwarzenegger admired Adolph Hitler. If he did, he would share something with Bill

                                  The Clintons' anti-Semitism is now well known.

  Details of it first emerged from retired Arkansas state trooper Larry Patterson who told NewsMax the inside
                                 details of the Clintons' dislike of various groups.

                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 06, 03 | 6:13 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (239 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Sun Oct 05, 2003

                                     Arab News Examines Media Bias:
                                           Thanks to Rich for the link....

                                                 From Arab News:

Whenever you read or hear about a decision taken, or an event discussed, in our media you usually do not find views
                                 that dissent from generally accepted opinion.

      When the consensus changes the arguments of commentators tend to change their opinion accordingly.

        As far as our readers are concerned, they see us change lanes without any warning or explanation.

 They see how we use double standards in our attitudes toward similar situations. While, for example, we show our
 sympathy toward Muslims in Britain or Algerians in France and criticize the Western media because it attributes
every problem in these countries to our brethren we, at the same time attribute every failure in our society to the
                                            presence of “foreigners”.

                                       The Whole Article From Arab News
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 05, 03 | 9:38 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (203 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                          Interesting Story on the Lastest Suicide Bomber:
 This was an educated woman and she just goes out and kills 19 people, more if she could have. She was "avenging"
  the deaths of family members at the hands of Israel. I suppose this is no different than if some American was
    pissed about something and took a rifle to school or work or something, but there sure seems to be a large
    contingent of these folks... Also, in America, our whackos usually take out people specific to their personal
 problems. That does not make it right, just more logical. This woman took out people she didn't know and some of
them may well have been sympathetic to her. There seems to have been no "logic" in her actions. Anyway, here is a
 story from Islam Online, you decide if this is different from a crazed American shooting up a high school, etc, or

                                                  Islam Online:

    GAZA CITY, October 5 – Hanadi Jaradat, the 29-year-old Palestinian female lawyer who carried out Haifa
   operation on Saturday, October 4, was avenging her brother Fady and cousin Saleh who were gunned down by
                        Israeli occupation forces in June, her sister told IslamOnline.net.

"We are proud of her; she restored our dignity and solaced our broken hearts. Thank God, Fady's blood did not go
                                            unavenged," Fadya said.

                                                Read Whole Story
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 05, 03 | 7:12 am | Profile

                            [5] comments (254 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                              Israeli Warplanes Strikes Deep Into Syria:
Things seem to be heating up in the Middle East yet again. First off, why was there an Islamic Jihad training base
in Syria? Second, Why didn't the US say something about it itself before this? Anyway, it seems that Israel isn't
  afraid to do what it feels it needs to do to terror bases. Shouldn't Syria have taken the base out themselves?
                   Syria needs to get rid of all those bases or expect more and better strikes.

                                           The story from two sites:

Foxnews: JERUSALEM — Israeli warplanes attacked an Islamic Jihad training base deep in Syria in retaliation for
 a suicide bombing at a Haifa restaurant that killed 19 people, the army said Sunday. Israeli media said it was the
                           first Israeli attack on Syrian soil in more than two decades.

                                       Finish Reading the Foxnews Story!

                                               From Islam Online:

OCCUPIED JERUSALEM, October 5 – While all attention was focused on Palestinian President Yasser Arafat and
  leading Palestinian resistance leaders as possible targets of Israeli retaliation for the Haifa bombing, Israeli
                    warplanes mounted an air strike on a target "deep inside Syrian territory".

In a statement released early Sunday, October 5, the Israeli occupation army said the overnight attack was aimed
 at a camp close to the border between Syria, Israel and Lebanon which was allegedly used to train fighters from
                      the Islamic Jihad, which claimed responsibility for the Haifa operation.

                                         Read Whole Islam Online Story
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 05, 03 | 6:52 am | Profile
                              [2] comments (223 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Sat Oct 04, 2003

                                   More Bloody Blood in the Middle East:
What will stop the bloodshed? Peace plans fail, Presidents (all) fail, civilians fail. What will now happen? I guess it's
going to take a full-blown war to get the parties to decide to chill. If that's the case, start it now and get it over
                with. If nothing is left, then nothing is left; a cancerous tumor shall feed on itself.

                                          News article from: Islam Online:

 OCCUPIED JERUSALEM, October 4 - While Israeli occupation forces gunned down two Palestinians, including a
child, in Tulkarem Saturday, October 4, at least 20 people were killed and others wounded in a bombing attack at a
                                restaurant in Haifa claimed by the Islamic Jihad.

 The Palestinian group announced that 18-year-old girl from the West Bank town of Jenin carried out the attack.

                                                Read The Whole Story
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 04, 03 | 5:06 pm | Profile

                              [0] comments (203 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Fri Oct 03, 2003

                                                      Cubs Win?
Here is a great little story about why Wrigley Field in Chicago is so special. We are hoping the Cubs and superstar
 pitcher Mark Prior can win tonight against the Braves, then again tomorrow night so we don't have to go back to
                                          Hotlanta. Go Cubbies! More...
                                 Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 03, 03 | 2:51 pm | Profile

                              [6] comments (247 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                              If Rush Limbaugh really has a drug problem...
I highly reccomend he immediately get into treatment. I have just the Narcotics Anonymous sponsor for him. Jack
Osbourne is well on the road to recovery and would be a perfect sponsor for Mr. Limbaugh. Rush and Jack could be
  golfing buddies. Who knows, maybe Rush can sleep over. At least he would bathe and not constantly scratch his
                                         Afro like that Skater dude did.
                               Posted by: DaneBramage on Oct 03, 03 | 1:26 pm | Profile

                              [14] comments (288 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                      Environmentalists Need Spanking:
  This Foxnews.com story points out the problem with environmentalists; they can never admit that something is
going right or they would have to quit bitching. What would they do then? We all, left and right, want a clean earth,
I hate pollution and garbage. But, as usual, they tell lies and twist and spin and basically breathe in their own farts.
                                                   Read the story:

   By Steven Milloy, Foxnews: Don’t tell me that so-called “environmentalists” are “for” the environment. The
  ongoing controversy over the cleanup of the Florida Everglades is further evidence that eco-activists are more
    interested in uncontested political power and dominating business interests than in workable environmental

                                          Read The Whole FoxNews Story
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 03, 03 | 10:43 am | Profile
                            [6] comments (321 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
                                  Courtney Love must be trying to get to Kurt...

 She has a lot going for her. She should rightfully be an unknown somewhere in the Northwest, but she got
some substantial breaks. She is looking at throwing it all away. I guess her physical and mental overhaul of a
number of years ago is all but gone. Because she is throwing away the opportunities that thousands would die
                      for, Courtney, you are truly a Smelly Brown Turd! Conflatuations!

Caption: The Los Angeles Times reported Oct. 3, 2003, that musician-actress Courtney Love was hospitalized for a
 possible drug overdose following her arrest after allegedly breaking windows at a friend's house in Los Angeles.
  Love is shown speaking to reporters outside a police station at London's Heathrow Airport Feb. 4, 2003. (John
                                Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 03, 03 | 7:24 am | Profile

                            [3] comments (267 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                      Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Yarbz Caption: Porn actress Mary Carey continues her ad campaign for Governor of California with a new series of
  ads with the theme; "One Boob Out, Two Boobs In". Carey states that with the sad, sour Dumocratic has-been
    boob in the Governors office, California cannot get back on its feet. Her two boobs, although well used and
somewhat droopy, will form a support staff tagged, Bring Reform Action (BRA), necessary to put California back on
  the path of stiff financial management and would push hard for a new food aid program called "Big Bananas for

Original Caption: Porn film actress Mary Carey, one of the candidates for governor of California in the October 7,
  2003 recall election, is shown in this photograph taken from a video monitor of her first campaign commercial
 which will run during 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (news - Y! TV)' October 6, the night before the election.
                             NO SALES REUTERS/Mary Carey for Governor/Handout
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 03, 03 | 6:56 am | Profile

                             [9] comments (2360 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Thu Oct 02, 2003

                                        The Hyphen - by John Wayne
 I heard a recording of "The Duke" on the radio this morning reciting the following poem. I am not sure if he wrote
it or not, but it is powerful (esp. when you hear him saying it). I post this in response to the earlier post about Rush

                                            The Hyphen by John Wayne

                                     The Hyphen, Webster's Dictionary defines,
                                             Is a symbol used to divide a
                                           compound word or a single word.
                                   So it seems to me that when a man calls himself
                                     An "Afro-American," a "Mexican-American,"
                            "Italian-American," An "Irish-American," "Jewish-American,"
                                    What he's sayin' is, "I'm a divided American."

                                        Well, we all came from other places,
                                       Different creeds and different races,
                                         To form a nation...to become as one,
                                        Yet look at the harm a line has done -
                                             A simple little line, and yet
                                             As divisive as a line can get.
                                          A crooked cross the Nazis flew,
                                       And the Russian hammer and sickle too-
                                           Time bombs in the lives of Man;
                                        But none of these could ever fan
                                        The fames of hatred faster than
                                                  The Hyphen.

                                         The Russian hammer built a wall
                                  That locks men's hearts from freedom's call.
                                         A crooked cross flew overhead
                                        Above twenty million tragic dead-
                                    Among them men from this great nation,
                                     Who died for freedom's preservation.
                                         A hyphen is a line that's small;
                                         It can be a bridge or be a wall.
                                       A bridge can save you lots of time;
                                         A wall you always have to climb.
                                           The road to liberty lies true.
                                          The Hyphen's use is up to you.

                                         Used as a bridge, it can span
                                          All the differences of Man.
                                          Being free in mind and soul
                                      Should be our most important goal.
                                       If you use The Hyphen as a wall,
                                     You'll make your life mean...and small.
                                        An American is a special breed,
                                      Whose people came to her in need.
                                    They came to her that they might find
                                   A world where they'd have peace of mind.
                                   Where men are equal...and something more-
                                     Stand taller than they stood before.

                                        So you be wise in your decision,
                                    And that little line won't cause division.
                                      Let's join hands with one another...
                                   For in this land, each man's your brother.
                                       United we stand...divided we fall.
                                   WE'RE AMERICANS...and that says it all.
                              Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 02, 03 | 9:25 am | Profile

                            [7] comments (467 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                Say it ain't so
Conservative talk guru Rush Limbaugh has now resigned from ESPN after making what some consider to be racially
                  motivated comments about Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback Donovan McNabb.

                      You mean he isn't black? What did Rush say that was so outrageous?

 There is outrage from the Dummycraps, the NAACP and McNabb himself. I am compelled to feel outrage about
   the outrage, but am sort of glad we won't have to hear Rush's commentary about how shitty the Bears are.
                              Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 02, 03 | 7:45 am | Profile

                            [5] comments (283 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Beer is good for you
         This article from New Zealand shows why beer can save your life, or the life of some one else...
                              Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 02, 03 | 7:41 am | Profile

                            [2] comments (246 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
                                                 Gimme a break
 Apparently, 30 years ago in Melbourne, Australia, a member of the stupid little meaningless band The Bay City
 Rollers alleges he was nearly raped. Does anyone care what happened to this idiot 30 years ago? Give us a break.
                           Nearly raped? And you have to come forward 30 years later?
                               Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 02, 03 | 7:37 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (251 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
                              Tiger Woods Unveiled as Newest Weapon on Terror!

  Yarbz Caption: The Pentagon unveiled its newest weapon in the war against terror yesterday to the surprise of
  many. Tiger woods, America’s premier golfer, has agreed to use a new high-tech driver to drive golf-ball shaped
 nuclear grenades at the enemy. The balls, made from a new, highly classified material, allows them to fly through
  the air with a rated air resistance of 0.0000012. The "Gren-Balls" are expected to fly up to 349 miles with a 1-
 wood. If the enemy is close, Tiger would use the sand wedge or other suitable club. It is expected that with this
                              new weapon, the war on terror will quickly come to an end.

  Original Caption: Tiger Woods tosses his golf ball in the air on the first tee during practice for the American
   Express Championship at the Capitol City Club in Woodstock, Georgia.(AFP-Getty Images/Scott Halleran)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 02, 03 | 6:56 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (220 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                           Smelly Brown turd of the Day Award goes to...
                                                      Al Gore!

A previous Stupid Turd-Brain of the Day award winner, Mr. Gore thinks that buying a cable network and putting on
  a liberal news channel is the answer to FoxNews. Duh! FoxNews is popular because people like it. They tell the
  truth and, surprise, it's popular because there are many many conservative tired of the biased news channels.
 After all, there's already a liberal news channel, CNN. Because Al Gore is thinking with his bottom instead of his
                          brain, he most certainly is a Smelly Brown Turd! Conflatuations!!!
Original Caption: Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore is close to buying a cable TV channel, putting him in a position
 to launch a liberal news outlet to counteract the increased popularity of conservative stations like the Fox News
 Channel, a source familiar with the matter said on October 1, 2003. Gore and a group of investors are in talks to
buy Newsworld International, a cable news channel owned by Vivendi Universal, for $70 million, the source said. Al
        Gore pauses while speaking to an audience at New York University in this August 7, 2003 file photo.
                                         REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton/files
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 02, 03 | 6:31 am | Profile

                             [3] comments (290 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Wed Oct 01, 2003

                  "Honey, Dr. Laura Wants You To Give Me A Blow Job! Honest!"
NEW YORK — Husbands need sex, and it's a wife's job to provide it - as much as he wants, whenever he wants it.
So contends Laura Schlessinger (search) - better known as Dr. Laura, the ever-provocative radio-show shrink - in
                                 "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands."

In a galley of her book, coming out in January, Schlessinger describes what she calls "loving obligation" - that is, a
                       spouse's duty to do something whether or not he or she feels like it.

                                         Read More About The Good Wife
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 01, 03 | 1:58 pm | Profile

                             [6] comments (353 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          CUBS WIN!! CUBS WIN!!
It is October first and the Cubs are still playing baseball for the first time in the post-season since 1945. Kerry
Wood played an awesome game with contributions from his pitching (stellar), his defense (did you see that behind
                            the back catch?) and his bat (two hits and two ribbies!!).

                                                  This IS next year!
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 01, 03 | 7:14 am | Profile

                            [7] comments (1645 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                  Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award:
Ms. Nancy Pelosi! You're a Smelly Brown Turd! Because you're divisive and lie like Clinton to achieve you goals, you
                          have proven to be a true Smelly Brown Turd! Conflatuations!
                      See here as she makes her face look like a butthole! Incredible talent!
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 01, 03 | 7:05 am | Profile

                            [4] comments (490 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                      Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
                                           I bet she washed her hands!

Yarbz Caption: French President Jacques Smallcock kisses the hand of US First Lady, Laura Bush as they enter
the French Palace of Spank de Wankier. The First Lady, shocked by the dastardly deed which was thrust upon her
  in a flash, quickly pulled her hand away and kneed Mr. Smallcock in the testicular area. In another self-defense
   move she learned training with husband and President, George W. Bush, the First Lady then sliced Smallcock's
 scrotum with her stiletto knife concealed within her coat sleeve. At press time, Ms. Bush was still scrubbing her
                                                hand with a wire brush.

   Original Caption: French President Jacques Chirac kisses the hand of US First Lady Laura Bush at the Elysee
                                       Palace in Paris(AFP/File/Daniel Janin)
    Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 01, 03 | 6:40 am | Profile

[3] comments (268 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

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