IFL Season Preview
Hello everyone, this is Chris Fanduzzi (aka “The Tutor”) coming back with a season preview of
what promises to be the most exciting season in IFL history. Of the eight teams in the league, only one
will be able to hold up the prestigious IFL Championship Trophy at the end of the season. Let’s take a
quick look at what we can expect this year.
IFL Sucky Division
1. Idaho Krackers
What’s to like: Coach Carmichael is coming off a disappointing finish last season, but look for
him to rebound thanks to his two studs, the Johnson’s, Dick and Harry. I kid you. It’s actually
Chris and Andre. They are the two top players at their positions and if you don’t know what
they are capable of, you shouldn’t be reading this. Tony Romo looks to have a strong year now
that he’s not too busy dating washed up reality TV stars and focused on winning. Plus, he’s
What’s iffy: Despite having the top runner in the league, the rest of the depth chart is unproven,
although that seems to be a theme this year. Also, Coach Carmichael kept his tradition alive of
drafting two quarterbacks with the same bye week.
Possible sleeper: Mohamed Massaquoi, because someone has to catch the ball in Cleveland.
Predicted record: 11-5
2. Ishpeming Igbys
What’s to like: I’m not sure that any team started out with a better squad. Randy Moss, Adrian
Peterson and Michael Turner are all first round draft picks in most leagues and here they are, all
on one squad. Add in fantasy stud Matt Schaub and you’re looking at what could be an elite
team. Coach New Guy (Brad in some circles) went for old favorites like Ronnie Brown and
Roddy White, while picking up some youth with guys like Jeremy Maclin. Dallas Clark is a stud
tight end if I ever saw one. He has a tight end, if you know what I mean.
What’s iffy: Sidney Rice is out for about half the season and his return could be questionable.
Lee Evans is a talented player, but is there anyone who is going to throw him the ball? Ronnie
Brown often spends more time in the hospital than on the field and Marion Barber is a bit of an
unknown this year. Who will step up when Randy Moss decides he doesn’t want to play that
Possible sleeper: Matthew Stafford. The kid seems destined for greatness, but will it come this
Predicted record: 9-7
3. Tallahassee Tomahawks
What’s to like: Coach Davey D is back with a vengeance this year, targeting a mix of proven
players and guys who are full of potential. Anquan Boldin, Reggie Wayne and Steve Smith are
the Chick-Fil-A of receivers. They know how to get the job done. Frank Gore, although he will
undoubtedly miss at least two games, is always a threat and Aaron Rodgers may just be the top
fantasy quarterback when all is said and done. However, he is not as cute as Tony Romo.
What’s iffy: Pierre Thomas and Felix Jones have trouble staying on the field and Matt Forte was
invisible last year. These guys are full of potential, but will they reach it is the big question. In
other news, Fred Taylor became a grandfather this past weekend.
Possible sleeper: Mike Williams, if he can keep his head on straight, this kid has a lot of talent.
Predicted record: 8-8
4. Keweenaw Red Jackets
What’s to like: After taking such gems as Edgerrin James and Ted Ginn, Jr. in last year’s draft,
Coach Ho seems to be on the right track. Youth was the theme this year, which is no surprise
since the coach seems to like them young. Rashard Mendenhall, Knowshon Moreno and
Michael Crabtree are all young players full of potential and Drew Brees is the best in the
What’s iffy: The Red Jackets have a long way to go. While his running backs are much improved,
the wide receivers are the weakest in the league. Mike Sims-Walker and Mike Wallace really are
going to have to contribute for the Red Jackets to compete.
Possible sleeper: Laurent Robinson. Even though this was a panic pick for the coach, this kid has
some good talent. It’s just a shame Sam Bradford is their quarterback.
Predicted record: 3-13
IFL Crappy Division
1. Boston Beez Kneez
What’s to like: Coach Polite was ahead of the game by keeping two receivers, causing him to go
after the much deeper positions in the draft. Ryan Mathews, although unproven is in a great
situation and should have a terrific season. LeSean McCoy is destined to be a big contributor
and Jonathan Stewart has shown flashes of brilliance when healthy. Philip Rivers is as good of a
fantasy quarterback that there is and bears a striking resemblance to Coach Carmichael. Vernon
Davis had a huge year and could be a steal in terms of where he was selected.
What’s iffy: Will TO be able to reclaim his glory this season? Dez Bryant is no doubt a talented
player, but will he be able to get the ball enough to make a difference in a loaded Cowboys
offense? Will I ever meet a nice man who will take care of me?
Possible sleeper: Clinton Portis. The one time fantasy stud is now going later and later in the
draft. However, a new coach and quarterback could help make him more than just relevant
Predicted record: 10-6
2. Orlando Stunners
What’s to like: The always controversial, but never entertaining Coach Tessoff finally brought
home the trophy last season after years and years of disappointing seasons. You wouldn’t
believe the number of chicken strips from Chick-Fil-A that he shoved in his mouth following his
victory against heated rival, the Mullets. Let’s just say he had to buy a new belt. Now let’s talk
some football. Ray Rice is a work horse at the running back position, who seems to play well
with his counterpart DeAngelo Williams. The trio of Jahvid Best, Arian Foster and C.J. Spiller are
loaded with potential. DeSean Jackson and Hakeem Nicks are fantastic deep threats and
Marques Colston and Derrick Mason are as reliable as they come.
What’s iffy: Coach Tessoff makes some questionable calls when it comes to drafting
quarterbacks and defenses. Joe Flacco hasn’t proven that he can hang with the big boys just yet
and he has no backup as of press time. The San Diego Chargers, despite a favorable schedule,
aren’t exactly world beaters. However, he will probably have at least 20 defenses before the
season is through. His depth at receiver isn’t exactly going to strike any fear into his opponents.
Possible sleeper: Jabar Gaffney. The Broncos will be horrible this year, partly in part to their
horrible receiving group. Jabar Gaffney seems to be Orton’s favorite target so far and could pick
up a lot of garbage yards.
Predicted record: 9-7
3. Hillsdale Mullets
What’s to like: After getting destroyed in the Super Bowl by the Stunners, this popular franchise
fired their once promising coach, Mike Forster. The team lacked toughness, so they went out
and got the toughest coach out there, Prison Football League Hall Of Famer Coach Homeboy.
No one knows his real name, but he is what would be referred to as a man’s man. While Mike
left him with some real talent, like Calvin Johnson, Peyton Manning and Steven Jackson. Coach
Homeboy filled the holes with solid contributors like Cedric Benson and Steve Smith. There’s no
doubt this team was designed with one thing in mind: to destroy the Stunners.
What’s iffy: Coach Homeboy wanted to put his stamp on this team and did by bringing in some
of his old buddies, most notably Dennis Northcutt and Garrett Hartley (in the 10th round!).
Jerricho Cotchery is in an offense that has three receivers fighting for playing time. Brandon
Jacobs was taken a little high due to the fact that Ahmad Bradshaw is breathing down his neck.
Possible sleeper: Jacoby Jones. He’s in a pass-happy offense and looks to be surpassing Kevin
Walter on the depth chart.
Predicted record: 7-9
4. Estes Park Moose
What’s to like: The Moose are loose and Coach Moore couldn’t be moore happy (pun intended)
with his team. With the first pick in the draft he was able to pick up a reliable runner in Ryan
Grant. The receiving group got a booster with reliable fantasy favorites such as Chad Ochocinco,
Hines Ward and Santana “Claus” Moss. Look for some great merchandise from the Moose this
holiday season. Tom Brady and Jason Witten are both studs that I don’t even need to tell you
about. I do disagree with the coach that Jason Witten looks young, but I do agree that he is
handsome, even if he’s no Tony Romo.
What’s iffy: Laurence Maroney has never become the full-time back that the Patriots had hoped
for and Cadillac Williams is solid, but slowed by injuries. Maurice Jones-Drew, is as good of a
runner gets in fantasy football, but there are some injury concerns this season.
Possible sleeper: Devin Aromashodu. He seems likely to flourish in Mike Martz’s once dominant
Predicted record: 7-9
Well, that’s it folks. Please take into consideration that I, The Tutor, am never right. Coach Carmichael
paid me off to pick him as the team with the best record and I am so cheap that I gladly accepted it.