By Brandon Chen
After performing at a concert, young pop star, Justin Bieber has recently been
assassinated by a Taiwanese ninja. After leaving the stage he was ready to leave directly since
he felt rather sick. He said that he’d meet his limo in the garage and was accompanied by five
large bodyguards. This photo was taken when a fan stumbled across Justin in the parking lot.
Unfortunately, the witness was killed as well. The Taiwanese ninja used dual katanas to literally
gouge Justin Beiber and moved so quickly that the bodyguards didn’t even know what was
happening until after Justin Bieber was dead. Although the bodyguards outnumbered the ninja,
they didn’t have the weapons that were required to defeat this agile man and were
unfortunately all put into critical conditions. The assassin was seen jumping off of a twelve story
roof and somehow surviving by catching a pole with a whip and climbing his way down. The
assassin had been caught about three hours afterwards, standing over the corpse of Nick Jonas.
Unfortunately for all annoying pop stars that the Taiwanese ninja escaped not two minutes ago.
Stay clear out of this assassin’s way because the definition of stealth is either not being seen or
not leaving any witnesses.