SOME THOUGHTS ON PASTORAL COUNSELING (Part I)

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					 SOME THOUGHTS ON
PASTORAL COUNSELING
       (Part I)


         Chapel Counsel
              from
        Chaplain Councell
         Associate Director
 Adventist Chaplaincy Ministries
WHOLE PERSON

               Physical



 Spiritual                  Mental


             SEXUAL
Relational                Emotional



             Volitional
MASLOW’S PYRAMID OF NEEDS
          JOHARI WINDOW
What nobody, including    What others know about
yourself, knows about     you, but you don’t know;
you, except God           what you can’t control



What you know about       What you and others
yourself, but others do   know about yourself
not know; what you can
choose
                         THEORIES
• Ego Analysis (Sigmund Freud)
• Growth Resources (Adler, Rank, From, Horney, Sullivan, Jung and
  Carl Rogers)
• Behavior-action Therapies
     – Reality (William Glasser)
     – Rational-Emotive (Albert Ellis)
     – Radical stimulus-response (B. F. Skinner)
•   Transactional Analysis (Eric Berne)
•   Gestalt (Fredrick Perls)
•   Holistic Health, Biofeedback and Body Therapies
•   Family Systems Therapy (Virginia Satir)
•   Feminist Therapies (Charlotte Ellen and Jean Miller)
•   Eclectic – help from combinations of approaches
•   Pastoral (Christian) Counseling
     – Biblical-based, conservative (Jay E. Adams
     – Brief Therapy to Promote Change (AACC, Gary Oliver)
     – Solution-focused (Charles Kollar)
• Theophostic (God’s light) Ministry – freed from lies by truth
                COMPARISON
CHRISTIAN                       SECULAR
• Addresses spiritual           • Disavows spiritual
• Created and fallen            • Evolutionary origin
• Depends on the Holy           • Relies on man’s
  Spirit and Scripture            theories of social
• External reference              science
  and norm for living           • Internal reference and
• Teaches love of God,            norms for living
  grace, forgiveness,           • Catharsis for healing
  trust and disciplined         • Helps people adjust
  life (fruits of the Spirit)     and cope on their own
• Directive                     • Non-directive
    PASTORAL COUNSELOR
• Unconditional positive regard for client
   – Genuine, but responsible caring
   – Respectful, never demeaning or insulting
• Attentive listener able to accurately reflect what is
  communicated
• Accepting, empathetic and understanding
• Stays “neutral” and does not react emotionally to
  client’s emotions
• Shares truth gently, teaches rather than preaches
• Honors and upholds “privileged communications”
  / confidentiality
     COUNSELING STAGES
Counseling is a process by which a person is
assisted to behave in a more rewarding manner.
The process is future-oriented, but happens by in
the present by the following sequential stages:
• Initial contact and contract
• Rapport-building; relationship facilitation
• Plan for problem-solving (diagnosis)
• Goal identification
• Implementation of strategy
• Follow-up and evaluation
• Termination
     COUNSELING PROCESS
• Conduct the counseling in a professional setting
• Establish rapport, trust and a working contract
• Insure communications are understood
• Determine the situation and facts (you can take notes
  during the session)
• Allow the client to discover insights and come to
  conviction about their rightness
• Help the client analyze their insights and make personal
  choices in their best interest
• Assist the client to develop action steps for positive
  change

NOTE: The counseling process parallels making a disciple
  of Jesus
          TRIANGULAR TRAP!
               Persecutor




           ?




Rescuer                               Victim

               H E L P! HELP! Help!
 SITUATIONAL AWARENESS
• The “presenting problem” is usually not the real
  issue; it is a client’s “test balloon”
• Who owns the problem?
• Watch for congruence between words, body
  language and behaviors
• Stay focused on client’s issue, not your agenda
• Beware of the question, “What do you think I
  should do?”
• Whose choice is it? Are you willing to assume
  responsibility for the outcome and your client
  when you tell them what to do?
     AWARENESS WHEEL

             ACTIONS
                           SENSING




        INTENTIONS         INTERPRETATIONS




                     FEELING


IMPRESSION WITHOUT EXPRESSION = DEPRESSION
            COMMUNICATION
• Process of transferring information
• Three basic elements
   – Source (sender)
   – Message
   – Receiver
• Messages are influenced by
   – Content
   – Means of transmitting (verbal, nonverbal and symbolic)
   – Interpretation (perceptions based on personality, experience,
     filters for encoding and decoding) frame of reference and
     motivation
• Barriers to communication
   – Physical
   – Psychological
• Effective communication occurs when the message has
  the same meaning for both the sender and receiver.
             “I” MESSAGES
• “I” messages assume responsibility for one’s self
• Describe
  – Specific behavior
  – Tangible effect a behavior has on you
  – How you feel in feeling terminology
• Examples
  – I feel…, because…, and I want… or don’t want…
  – When that happens, it affects me… and I feel…
• “You” messages tend to blame or find fault

NOTE: Much humor is thinly veiled “put-downs”
    REFLECTIVE RESPONSES
Objective: Help the client understand their feelings and how they effect
  the issue
• Methods
    –   Questions (“Can you tell me more?” “Why do you ask?”)
    –   Paraphrasing
    –   Clarifying
    –   Trailing (restating the last word and waiting for client to continue)
• Reflecting (mirroring back) phrases
    –   “You feel…, because…”
    –   “I sense…”
    –   “What I hear you saying is…”
    –   “I get the impression that you are…”
    –   “Let’s see if I understand what you said. Are you telling me…?”
    –   “I’m confused. Can you tell me more?”
    –   “Is that what you mean?”
• When appropriate, confront using “I” statements
    – “I see you as…”
    – “From what you just said I wonder if…”
            PERCEPTIONS
Objective: Listen carefully to perceptions and help
  client see them from a different perspective
• Perceptions are interpreted ideas about one’s
  self, relationships, life, the world and God
• Perceptions often are formed from early
  childhood experiences and messages that stick
  with us into adulthood; can be very limiting
• Perceptions are reality to the holder
• Perceptions may not be reality, and generally are
  only partially true
• Perceptions tend to subjective views as a “dark
  cloud” or “rosy tinted,” rather than objectively
                “ENERGY”
                 CONSTRUCTIVE
  Control and                   Achievement
  Confidence                    and Success




          INTERNALIZED   EXTERNALIZED




Suicide                            Homicide

                  DESTRUCTIVE


                 ANGER
                GET HELP
• Drunk or “high” clients – do not counsel
• Irrational anger, threatening behavior
• Talk about committing suicide
• Seizures or other manifestations of repetitious,
  disturbed mannerisms
• Seductive sexual behaviors
• Requests for money or other handouts
• Whenever you lose your objectivity and become
  emotionally involved with the client’s issue or
  person

NOTE: You are not a “messiah” who can solve
 everyone’s problem
              REFERRALS
• Maintain a list of local helping agencies
• Get acquainted with helping professionals
• Obtain client’s consent to make a referral
• Arrange an appointment; introduce client to the
  new professional
• Share your general assessment, but no specific
  details that would violate confidentiality
• Do not leave a person threatening suicide alone
• Continue pastoral and spiritual care
COMMENTS




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