Parenting Styles

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      Phyllis Orr
• Most parents want to raise
  their children to become
  responsible, well mannered
  adults.
• Realize guidance and
  disciple are important.
GOAL OF DISCIPLINE IS ?
• Through discipline, parents try
  to encourage positive behavior
  and
• Discourage negative behavior
   –Set reasonable limits
   –Positive reinforcement
   –Be consistent
Researchers have
  divided these
   methods into
    three main
 parenting styles:
•Main objective is to make
children completely obedient.
•Generally strict in raising
children.
•Feel obedience the most
important behavior children
should learn.
• Parents decide the rules, inform
  the children of them, and then
  enforce them.
   – Children expected to accept and
     follow the rules without question.
   – Offer little or no explanation
     when they give directions.
• Such parents are likely to use
  physical punishment when the
  children do not behave.
Most parenting experts do not
recommend this style of parenting
 because:
  – Seldom reward good behavior
     • Why is rewarding good behavior as
       important as punishing negative
       behavior?
        – Children need to know which
          behaviors they should repeat as well
          as which to avoid in the future.
        – Rewarding good behavior encourages
          the child and builds self-esteem
Most parenting experts do not
  recommend this style of
     parenting because:
 • Does not teach the children to make
   their own decisions
   – Teaches children to rely on parents for
     instructions
     • As result, these children more likely to
       misbehave when their parents are not around
 • May fear parents and even rebel as
   they get older
• Does not encourage self-
  control

This parenting style was used
 more in previous generations.
It is widely considered
 inappropriate in today’s
 society, but is still used in
 some homes.
Parenting Styles – Authoritarian
  • The Parents - “The Boss”; Frequently uncompromising,
    dictatorial, strict, and repressive.
  • The Child – Must obey
  • The Power – Lies with the Parent
  • Home Life – Can be tense, rigid, oppressive
  • Discipline Tools – Aimed at curbing self-will when child’s actions
    or beliefs are at odds with what parents think is proper conduct.
  • Effect on the Child – Low levels of independence and social
    responsibility, lower grades, obedience out of fear of
    punishment, manipulation and subversiveness, lack of self
    control
  • Parent-Child Relationship – Cold, rigid, based on fear. Verbal
    interchange is discouraged and children blindly accept parents
    word on what should or should not be.
• Allows children almost complete
  freedom in regulating their own
  behavior – opposite extreme of
  Authoritarian style.
• Parents:
  – establish few rules
  – little order
  – no routine
• Children:
  – Allowed to “do their own
    thing”
  – Make their own decisions

• Permissive parents want their
  children to be happy.
  – Think giving children complete
    freedom will make them happy
• Instead of Happy – often find children:
  – Who feel insecure because they have no
    boundaries
  – That do not learn about appropriate or
    inappropriate behavior – instead
    • They are likely to become self-centered and
      uncooperative
    • Have had few restrictions, they often face
      difficulty as adults whose behavior is regulated
      by laws, policies, and social conventions
Parenting Styles – Permissive
• The Parents – The Servant, The Bystander; Passive, weak,
  inconsistent and yielding. Consults with the child too much about
  policy decisions, family rules, don’t make child responsible for
  household responsibilities, allows child to regulate own activities
• The Child – Is subtly encouraged to control others, left to follow
  own wants and instincts
• The Power- Firmly in the hands of the Child
• Home Life – Chaotic, uncontrollable, wild
• Discipline Tools – Don’t exercise control and don’t encourage
  child to obey externally defined standards, tolerant and accepting
  toward child impulses, using as little punishment as possible.
• Effect on Child - Lack of impulse control and responsibility, low
  independence self-control and self- reliance, bad grades, lower
  social and cognitive competence, becomes self-centered and
  demanding, no consideration of others
• Parent-Child Relationship – Distant, often marked by resentment
  and manipulation, parents make few demands and without limits
  child can feel unloved and uncared for.
• Provides freedom within limits.
• Parents establish rules,
  – but they explain what the rules mean and
    why they exist
• Rules and limits give children a sense of
  – security,
  – stability
  – and consistency.
• Parents explain the reason
  for expected behavior
• Children are encouraged to
  ask questions and find
  answers
 – As a result, children know what their
   parents expect of them and why
• Although authoritative parents teach
  their children how to behave, they let
  the children choose their own behavior
  and make some their own decisions.
  – Allows children to develop decision-making
    skills and independence
• If the children choose poor behavior,
  consequences do apply
  – Child is held accountable for his/her
    choices.
  – Given chance to explain their behavior
  – May offer their input as the parents set
    consequences or punishment
• Authoritative parents use positive
  reinforcement to promote the growth
  of self-control
• Experts recommend this style of
  parenting as the preferred style
• Research indicates authoritative
  parenting has the best outcomes for
  children.
 Parenting Styles – Authoritative
• The Parents - “The Guide, The Leader” – Approachable, reasonable
  and flexible. Attempts to direct the child’s activities in a rational, issue
  oriented manner; do not regard themselves as infallible.
• The Child – Encouraged to think and be a participant in the family
• The Power – Shared between parent and child
• Home life – Relaxed, orderly, consistent
• Discipline tools – Parents exert firm control at points of divergence but
  do not overuse restrictions – use reason as well as power to achieve
  desired results
• Effect on the child – Positively associated with independent.
  Purposive, dominant behavior, good grades, self discipline, and needs
  of the group
• Parent-child relationship – Close, respectful, marked by sharing and
  communication, verbal give and take, reasoning behind decisions,
  encourages independence and individuality and recognition of child’s
  rights as well as parents.
Text: Parents and Their Children
Chapter 17 pages 408-409

				
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posted:11/5/2012
language:English
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