EKS: 9 C
#1 – 1 (6) (B, C) English
• Most parents want to raise
their children to become
responsible, well mannered
• Realize guidance and
disciple are important.
GOAL OF DISCIPLINE IS ?
• Through discipline, parents try
to encourage positive behavior
• Discourage negative behavior
–Set reasonable limits
•Main objective is to make
children completely obedient.
•Generally strict in raising
•Feel obedience the most
important behavior children
• Parents decide the rules, inform
the children of them, and then
– Children expected to accept and
follow the rules without question.
– Offer little or no explanation
when they give directions.
• Such parents are likely to use
physical punishment when the
children do not behave.
Most parenting experts do not
recommend this style of parenting
– Seldom reward good behavior
• Why is rewarding good behavior as
important as punishing negative
– Children need to know which
behaviors they should repeat as well
as which to avoid in the future.
– Rewarding good behavior encourages
the child and builds self-esteem
Most parenting experts do not
recommend this style of
• Does not teach the children to make
their own decisions
– Teaches children to rely on parents for
• As result, these children more likely to
misbehave when their parents are not around
• May fear parents and even rebel as
they get older
• Does not encourage self-
This parenting style was used
more in previous generations.
It is widely considered
inappropriate in today’s
society, but is still used in
Parenting Styles – Authoritarian
• The Parents - “The Boss”; Frequently uncompromising,
dictatorial, strict, and repressive.
• The Child – Must obey
• The Power – Lies with the Parent
• Home Life – Can be tense, rigid, oppressive
• Discipline Tools – Aimed at curbing self-will when child’s actions
or beliefs are at odds with what parents think is proper conduct.
• Effect on the Child – Low levels of independence and social
responsibility, lower grades, obedience out of fear of
punishment, manipulation and subversiveness, lack of self
• Parent-Child Relationship – Cold, rigid, based on fear. Verbal
interchange is discouraged and children blindly accept parents
word on what should or should not be.
• Allows children almost complete
freedom in regulating their own
behavior – opposite extreme of
– establish few rules
– little order
– no routine
– Allowed to “do their own
– Make their own decisions
• Permissive parents want their
children to be happy.
– Think giving children complete
freedom will make them happy
• Instead of Happy – often find children:
– Who feel insecure because they have no
– That do not learn about appropriate or
inappropriate behavior – instead
• They are likely to become self-centered and
• Have had few restrictions, they often face
difficulty as adults whose behavior is regulated
by laws, policies, and social conventions
Parenting Styles – Permissive
• The Parents – The Servant, The Bystander; Passive, weak,
inconsistent and yielding. Consults with the child too much about
policy decisions, family rules, don’t make child responsible for
household responsibilities, allows child to regulate own activities
• The Child – Is subtly encouraged to control others, left to follow
own wants and instincts
• The Power- Firmly in the hands of the Child
• Home Life – Chaotic, uncontrollable, wild
• Discipline Tools – Don’t exercise control and don’t encourage
child to obey externally defined standards, tolerant and accepting
toward child impulses, using as little punishment as possible.
• Effect on Child - Lack of impulse control and responsibility, low
independence self-control and self- reliance, bad grades, lower
social and cognitive competence, becomes self-centered and
demanding, no consideration of others
• Parent-Child Relationship – Distant, often marked by resentment
and manipulation, parents make few demands and without limits
child can feel unloved and uncared for.
• Provides freedom within limits.
• Parents establish rules,
– but they explain what the rules mean and
why they exist
• Rules and limits give children a sense of
– and consistency.
• Parents explain the reason
for expected behavior
• Children are encouraged to
ask questions and find
– As a result, children know what their
parents expect of them and why
• Although authoritative parents teach
their children how to behave, they let
the children choose their own behavior
and make some their own decisions.
– Allows children to develop decision-making
skills and independence
• If the children choose poor behavior,
consequences do apply
– Child is held accountable for his/her
– Given chance to explain their behavior
– May offer their input as the parents set
consequences or punishment
• Authoritative parents use positive
reinforcement to promote the growth
• Experts recommend this style of
parenting as the preferred style
• Research indicates authoritative
parenting has the best outcomes for
Parenting Styles – Authoritative
• The Parents - “The Guide, The Leader” – Approachable, reasonable
and flexible. Attempts to direct the child’s activities in a rational, issue
oriented manner; do not regard themselves as infallible.
• The Child – Encouraged to think and be a participant in the family
• The Power – Shared between parent and child
• Home life – Relaxed, orderly, consistent
• Discipline tools – Parents exert firm control at points of divergence but
do not overuse restrictions – use reason as well as power to achieve
• Effect on the child – Positively associated with independent.
Purposive, dominant behavior, good grades, self discipline, and needs
of the group
• Parent-child relationship – Close, respectful, marked by sharing and
communication, verbal give and take, reasoning behind decisions,
encourages independence and individuality and recognition of child’s
rights as well as parents.
Text: Parents and Their Children
Chapter 17 pages 408-409