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Heads Up Against Alienation - A Divorced Dad Guide

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					Heads Up Against Alienation: A Divorced Dad Guide

There never should be a declaration of war between exes. The do not get
the brunt of the lost battle; the children do. Enmity between two
divorced couples starts at the break up of the marriage and ends up with
the destruction of either parent in the child’s eyes.

Alienation Defined

To fully understand what alienation means, let us try do define it as
experts do. Alienation is a phenomenon becomes severely loyal to the
parent and seeks to delineate the other. These events usually happen in
extremely volatile divorces. In intense cases the child will refuse to
see, talk or to have anything to do with the alienated parent. There
arises a rooted anger with no apparent reason. The child then will
actively help the other parent to hurt, demean and be little the other
party.

It is critical that you report any such aforementioned events to an
unbiased person such as a social worker. They have professional
experience and can provide intervention if they deem it necessary.

The Inner Running of A Child’s Mind

No matter how you put it, a child is often sympathetic with the mother.
If the child is allowed to see the mother shed tears then the mom will
harvest pity and thereby first implant the unintentional seed of
alienation.

The tendency to become alienated depends on your child’s personality.
However, a kid is still a kid. There glasses are still half full. They
can fully rationalize events. Particularly those that appear confusing
and hurting to them. The reason for the alienation comes from within the
family system itself prior to the divorce. Factors such as sibling
system, the extended family’s attitude, both parents towards each other
and towards the kid all have an impact on the upcoming incidents after
divorce.

Recognizing The Danger

If your wife gets primary custody you have to be on the look out should
your ex alienate your kid or kids against you. If you notice your child’s
sudden unreasonable anger or hatred then there could be something there.
Children have the tendency to reflect the animosity the alienating parent
projects. If your kid refuses or makes excuses not to visit then you have
to put this in a s a symptom. Sheer hatred and utter destruction is the
target of a severely alienated child, other signs will immediately be
noticeable. If so take action as soon as possible.

Can Someone Help?

Although alienators, and their kids do not have the fear of repercussion
from a legal sense, family court can help you. The first thing you have
to do is to observe the child’s behavior and pinpoint the problem
attitude. Intervene as early as possible. Beware of the other party’s
attorney.

Do not allow delayed tactics to be used against you. Request the courts
that the alienating parent be ordered into therapy even before the
settlement of the visitation or custody rights. Request that the court be
stringent by making a Guardian Ad Litem check whether your ex wife
complies with the court order. Lastly, if the child is severely abhorrent
to you as his or her father then ask that the kid be placed in therapy
also.

As a divorced dad it is essential that you prevent alienation, and try to
avoid doing so. It not only benefits the children but both the ex couple
as well.

				
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