Divorced Dad Beware Of The Alienator! The Naive Alienator Most divorced dads experience instances when they are Naive alienators. These divorced dads do mean well and they identify the children’s importance on having a good healthy relationship with them. They hardly ever come back to the court concerning problems with visitation or any other issues relating to the kids. The courts persuade the relationship of the kids and the divorced dad to be intact. Both parents that communicate to each other is good usually, even though sometimes they do have arguments like they did before all the divorce proceedings took place. Arguing in front of the kids is a big no- no, it is better to leave the children out of it. For the most part, they can work out their differences without bringing the children into it. Children do not like to hear their parents fighting and arguing, divorced parents or not. These kids may feel hurt if they see or hear their dad or mom argue over things. Sometimes, the kids tend to cope up with their parents arguing and fighting either by talking to one of them, be it the dad or mom; sometimes they ignore both parents and let the issue heal in time. By hearing and seeing what the parents are fighting about does not really affect the children of the naïve alienator. The Active Alienator Divorced dads that come back to the court to settle problems with their visitation rights are active alienators. These dads mean well and trust that the kids should gain a healthy relationship with their mother. Frustration is the common problem that they have, controlling the hurt they feel and the bitterness of what has happened. There are instances that something might trigger the hurt that they feel inside, active alienators would strike or freak out in one way or another to cause alienation against the ex-wife. After calming down, the dad usually feels bad or he feels guilty about what he did and would refrain from their alienating strategy. Hesitating between recklessly alienating and then after, fixing the damage with the kids is one of the well-known actions of the active alienator. They really do mean well, however, they will lose their cool because of the amount of force of their feelings inside overpowers them. They do have the aptitude to obey and respect the authority of the trial courts and they do obey the court’s decision. Sometimes though, they tend to clash with the mother. They sometimes act this way in order to strike at the mother for some injustice. They are also willing to seek professional help when they have problems that do not seem to go away. They are usually openly worried about the kids’ adjustment to having parents that are divorced. The divorced dad is thinking on how the children would adjust to two environments instead of just one. These people still hope for a fast recuperation from all the pain and hurt that the divorce has brought. The Obsessed Alienator The obsessed alienator has a cause: to win over the children’s sympathy in order for the divorced dad, along with the kids to demolish the kids’ relationship with their mother. In order for this to work, the obsessed alienator entangles the kids’ characteristics and faith into their own. This is a very long process; it may take a long time, usually after the divorce is final. This is because the divorced dad is angry or frustrated with the ex-wife and feels betrayed and wants to get back at her. A Reminder Recognize that those mentioned above are a reality. As a divorced dad, you not only have to protect your relationship with your kid but you have to safe guard you child’s emotional, mental and physical well being as well.
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