Letter from Rita Smith - I’ve Seen Myself Crying But Others Wouldn’t Know

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I’ve Seen Myself Crying But
Others Wouldn’t Know


                                               I was made to take a part time Job and
                                               was glad because of no more stress of
                                               having my [benefit] money stopped. Then
                                               after a year most of the benefits stopped. I
                                               get less Money now than on Jobseekers
                                               [Allowance], and now after 3 years I feel I
                                               am being „mobbed‟ at Work


They imply I am not doing my Job, although I think I am. We lost two people
and all extra time for the others [has been] cut by up to 20 hours – I lost 2
Hours.


I have worked hard, been lucky to meet some people who let me join them,
and now when I go out I can keep it together and fall apart when I am coming
back through my front door. Sitting in a mess, with a blanket and hot water
bottle


I‟ve seen myself crying, but when someone talks to me they wouldn‟t know.
I actually worked every morning in a Charity Shop, I got up, thought “I don‟t
have to go in”, but I can come home earlier if I had to.


With the support of the other People working there I had a good time.


Years ago I had so much pain, now I only feel numb ( I am lucky), but with the
situation at work I do not know where to turn. I‟ve actually been told that
Portugese workers are so much better (hint?). I looked for help and was told
“you‟ve got a Job what else do you want – count yourself lucky”.


I am on my own, nobody to turn to. Doctors can‟t seem to help, because I can‟t
seem to make myself understood.


I know if I lose my Job I am not entitled to Money. Next year I have less Money
because of the Bedroom Tax, have no Money to move when I spent the last
years trying to make a Life for myself. I don‟t want to move and I know I won‟t.


Rita Smith

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