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Newlyweds KIM and STEVE are celebrating with family and friends at their swank “destination wedding”

in Aruba.


KIM: the blushing bride, with a taste for the finer things, loves being the center of attention

STEVE: the groom, easygoing, gregarious, fun-loving

DIANE: Kim’s mother

MAYA: Kim’s friend and bridesmaid

LUPE: a kind, unassuming waitress

SANDI: a pretty young barmaid

CHELSEA: friend of Steve and Kim

LUKE: Chelsea’s estranged husband

ERIC: friend of Steve and Kim

SCOTT: friend of Diane’s family

HEATHER: friend of Steve and Kim

JARED: Heather’s wise-cracking husband, a guy with a middle-class upbringing who has worked his way
up the ladder

The guys are at the bar. The gals and Scott are exchanging pleasantries with Kim, Kim’s mother Diane,
and the bridesmaids. The gang is not aware that Chelsea and Luke have separated.

LUKE: (to barmaid, putting two bucks down) Hey beautiful! Vodka tonic.

SANDI: You got it

ERIC: You got Molson?

SANDI: For you – anything.

CHELSEA: Kim, you look gorgeous. I love the details.

SCOTT: Indeed. Is that Vera Wang?

CHELSEA: Oh, Mrs. Mullin, you look beautiful. So good to see you.
SCOTT: That color is absolutely stunning on you… stunning! I love it.

DIANE: (putting arm around Chelsea) You too, sweetie. Please, call me “Auntie Diane”.


SCOTT: (picking up a poinsettia) Oh, my, I just adore these centerpieces! I just love a Christmas-y

DIANE: You look lovely as always. How are the children?

CHELSEA: Good, thanks.

DIANE: And the little guy? Is he trained yet?

CHELSEA: (glancing over at Luke at the bar) Umm…

KIM: Mom? He’s not even two years old yet!

CHELSEA: (realizing Diane is referring to the baby) Oh, we’re working on it

DIANE: Well, you were all trained by six months.

KIM: Oh, c’mon… we were not.

DIANE: Oh, yes. (to Chelsea) Sweetie, if you ever need anything, you know I’m just a phone call away.

CHELSEA: Yes, thanks.

LUKE: another vodka tonic

A group of waitresses is staring and pointing at Luke. They push one of the women forward.

LUPE: Excuse me, I don’t want to bother you, but it’s not for me, it’s for my grandson Keith. He’s 7.
You’re his favorite player.

LUKE rolls eyes, wordlessly scribbles his initials on a napkin and hands it to Lupe.

LUPE: (a little disappointed) Oh, thank you. (she walks back to show the other waitresses)

JARED, HEATHER and MAYA walk over to the bar.

JARED: Hey, hey, hey!

ERIC: Whassup man?

LUKE: (checking out Heather and Maya) Hey

ERIC: (to Jared) Heard you got a promotion. Congrats!
JARED: Thanks, man. That extra money comes in handy with the kiddies, I tell ya. Especially with the
economy the way it is.

ERIC: I hear you, man.

LUKE: (to Heather) Whassup, doll?

HEATHER: Same old. Nice to get a break. Seventh graders, I tell ya. Then it’s home to my three. But I
wouldn’t trade it for anything.

JARED: Oh, Heather’s gonna be in a pageant.

LUKE: Well, you should slay ‘em.

JARED: Yeah, it’s for “over 40” chicks.

HEATHER: (bristling at the “over 40” part) Well, it’s a “Mrs. Long Island” pageant.

ERIC: You’ll be great.

SANDI: (agitated) What’s your talent? Baton twirling?

HEATHER: Actually, I tap dance.

LUKE: Care to give us a sampling?

HEATHER: Here? I don’t think so. Maybe after a few more of these (she hoists her wine glass). Um, I
understand Chelsea used to compete in pageants.

LUKE: (agitated) Yeah, back in the day.

HEATHER: Oh, remember my cousin MJ? She says hi.

LUKE: MJ? What does she look like?

JARED: Like a human bowling ball. (Jared waddles. Heather playfully smacks Jared.)

You’d never know those two were related.

LUKE: Yeah, if she looked like you I woulda remembered her. She here?

JARED: No, they didn’t make the cut

LUKE laughs

STEVE comes over to the bar.

ALL: Steverino!

To be continued…

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