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Atrocity_ Thy Name Is Cancer

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					Atrocity, Thy Name Is Cancer

Cancer is a blight on the human species. It's a leading cause of death
worldwide. After having my share of dealings with this evil and monstrous
disease, I move that it be obliterated from the face of this planet.
There are brilliant scientists and researchers working on that, so I
think my small piece of the solution is to draw attention to how it's
affected me personally, and encourage my family and friends to take a
look at the way we're living - and change our ways to avoid cancer, or at
least to detect it early.

The person who probably knew me better than any other was Larry Fegan. We
met in grade 9 and bonded immediately. We were nothing alike. We came
from different family types, different socio-economic backgrounds,
different religious systems, totally diverse upbringings and yet it was
as if we could read each others' minds right from the first moment. He
was my confidante, my sounding board, my conscience, my best friend and
my knight in shining armour. He was always there for me - and regularly
picked up the pieces of my tattered existence, bundled them up, handed
them to me and told me to stitch them back together. Larry impacted my
life immeasurably, and had my son Michael been a girl, he would have been
Lauren. (I know that seems nonsensical - because why not name him Larry?
but that's another story... ) My deepest regret is that Michael and Larry
never met. Larry passed away from liver cancer on July 23rd (my birthday)
- of the year Michael was being born on Larry's birthday - cosmic, isn't
it? When someone tells you that a couple of weeks won't make a
difference, don't believe them. I lost one of the best and most
significant people in my life to liver cancer in my (and his) 30's. He is
simply irreplaceable and I think about him every single day.

Larry smoked from the time he was 14 years of age. Don't smoke.

One of my very best friends, Sue Dahmer, has recently come out on the
other side of her breast cancer treatment. One mastectomy later, she is
stronger, more beautiful, infinitely more whole than she's ever been. Sue
used her breast cancer journey to strengthen her family, educate her
children, improve her marriage and influence her friends to reach beyond
the limits we've set for ourselves. Sue Dahmer is da bomb, baby!!! I
couldn't be more proud of her. She inspires me to believe George Eliot
when she said, 'It is never too late to be what you might have been.' I
want to be as strong as Sue is.

Sue is a survivor. She recognized an unusual lump in her breast and
sought immediate medical attention. Know the signs to look for.

My mother is a breast cancer survivor too - well over the "5 year mark"
now, Thank God. I think I was numb through most of her journey, but
walking her to the doors of her surgery was one of the scariest moments
of my life. Sitting holding my dad's trembling hands while she was
undergoing the surgery was one of the most life-changing moments I've
ever experienced. Before that, I would have thought that my dad was made
of stone. He's not. He was as terrified (or more so) as I was that
everything wouldn't work out as we hoped. It was my first clue that my
parents were symbiotic and that one would be irreparably altered by the
loss of the other. I pray that I develop a relationship like theirs.

Mom had regular mammograms and her cancer was caught early. Early
detection is everything. Get tested regularly.

In recent years, my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and after
that, leukemia and lymphoma. He battled both in his heart and mind every
single day. Although he didn't share his innermost feelings about it, I
know that he was afraid of chemo, didn't want to be sick and tired all
the time and deeply resented what he perceived to be the loss of his
independence and manhood.

I lost my amazing dad to cancer this summer. He never worried about his
health until it was a problem. He didn't eat properly as he aged, and as
a result, developed Type II Diabetes. This not only complicated
everything but quite possibly allowed the disease to take hold. Eat
plenty of fresh fruit and veggies - the deeper the colour, the better.

My husband, Rollie, was diagnosed with a malignant pancreatic tumour in
2008. They found it accidentally - or I doubt we would have known before
it was too late. He required a "Whipple Procedure" which essentially
meant that they cut out several affected sections of his pancreas,
duodenum, and intestinal tract, re-sectioned and attached him back up in
a totally different way and then waited to see if his body would adjust.
The procedure has been said to have a 5% or less success rate. We
prepared for him to die. Thank God he appears to be in that blessed 5%.
We've spent a few hellish years dealing with treatment, surgery and
recovery, but now, in the aftermath, things are looking better and he
improves every day. (We still have scares... )

Rollie was in amazing physical shape before this happened. A few months
previous to detection, our insurance company actually LOWERED his premium
due to his youthful energy and fitness level. He swam, biked and walked
all the time. He knew his body and recognized that there was something
wrong, and he was fit enough to live through extensive surgery and to
regenerate quickly. Get regular exercise and stay physically fit.

In all of the above examples (even the survivors) I grieved. Grief isn't
just about the death of someone you love... it can also be about having
to adjust to a new set of rules and values after things and people we
love change. It's actually just emotional development: allowing yourself
to feel sad, to think about the unfairness of it, to think how things
used to be, and how different they are now. There have been times when I
caved, and allowed myself to feel as though my heart and head were
exploding and that I'd never be able to feel good about anything again.
But underneath it all I know I will. Avoiding thinking about the feelings
is sometimes easier, but they always catch up with me anyway, so I end up
choosing to face them in the here and now. Doing the hard emotional work
is what allows me to move forward and claim my life as my own.

Interesting sidebar - the person most willing to explore this with me is
my sister-in-law. We weren't close in the beginning, but I've developed a
deep respect and affection for her over the years. She always seems to be
there for me. Go figure. Thanks Sam. And of course Sue has been an
incredible example of grace under fire - my admiration for her knows no
bounds.
Be open with your loved ones about your concerns and talk to them about
your feelings. Be there for each other.

I hope that just one person reading this will make a small change in
their life that will make the difference that means avoidance of - or
early detection of - this disease. Cancer IS a blight on the human
species and I hope beyond hope that I can make even the tiniest
contribution to encouraging those I care about to make conscious
lifestyle changes so that they are less likely to be affected.

An eclectic fusion of dot-connector, writer, learner, relationship-
builder, strategist and adventurer, Margot Thompson has a passion for all
things relational and communication-oriented. She is a writer simply
because she loves to write - not to make money, be published or be known
as such (these things are incidental when they happen). Margot writes
about things that matter to her heart and subjects she deeply believes
in, thereby defining her own art and setting her own limits. One can
always find her with multiple concurrent writing projects on the go -
often working on the stories of everyday heroes (which inspire her) and
definitely accompanied by music. Contact her at
margot.thompson@rogers.com.

				
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