You are an Indian if........... 1.. Everything you eat is savored In garlic, onion and tomatoes. 2.. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil. 3.. You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by pressing your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise like, tshick, tshick, tschick, tschick. 4.. You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the airport. 5.. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think its normal. 6.. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to mark up. 7.. You recycle Wedding Gifts. 8.. You name your children in rythms (example, Honey & Money, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam..) 9.. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names. 10. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed" 11. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house. 12. You load up the family car with as many people as possible. 13. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether its the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch. 14. Your parents tell you to not care what your friends think but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think. 15. Your wife searches for long hair on your shirt, coat, trousers, jackets and what else. 16. You unwrap Diwali gifts very carefully, so you can save and re-use the wrapping next year. 17. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the almirah of the guest bedroom. 18. You buy and display crockery, which is for special occasions, which never happen. 19. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table. 20. You use grocery bags to hold garbage. 21. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible. 22. Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars, pickles, ninety-nine varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with some household items). 23. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). 24. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker. 25. You ensure your children sing a song or nursery rhyme to all your guests when they come home. 26. You majored in engineering, medicine or law and now........are after Software and only Software no matter which field you belong to.. 27. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old. (And they prefer it that way). 28. You don't use measuring cups when cooking. 29. Your parents' house is always cold. 30. You reuse teabags. 31. You never learnt how to stand in a queue. 32. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane. 33. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has eloped with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light. 34. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight. 35. Your parents never go to the movies. 36. You call an older person you never met before "uncle." 37. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin. 38. No one you're related to is a music major. 39. You have bedsheets on your sofas so as to keep them away from getting dirty. 40. When dining out, you think $1 is enough of a tip. 41. You always know someone who owns a motel or a convenience store. 42. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people. 43. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like. 44. You treat the NRI persons (especially from America) as if they are the only persons living in this world (including YOU). 45. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train. 46. All your tupperware is stained with food color. 47. You have drinking glasses made of steel. 48. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping. 49. You have really enjoyed reading this mail.