guide for the families of deployed Regular Ministry of Defence

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guide for the families of deployed Regular Ministry of Defence Powered By Docstoc
					                                        Edition No 3 dated Feb 11
Distributed to families by units or in the case of Regular Army augmentees, RTMC Chilwell or Supporting   A guide for the families of deployed
                     Units to nominated emergency contacts and family members.
E-copies available through Army Internet and Intranet, Hard copies through JSCS Bicester reference: AC
                                                                                                          Regular Army Personnel
                             64404 Mili Stock No: MSN091LAN0348164.

                            Sponsor: SO3 Families PS4(A) DPS(A),                                          AC 64404                     Mar 2011
                        Tel Mil: 94391 Ext 2159, Civil 01264 38 2159.                           
Design: HQLF Media & Comm (U) DSX5717

The contents of this guide are designed to provide general
advice - it is important to ensure you have the most up to
date information and in most cases this should be sought
from your nominated unit welfare officer.

      1          Introduction

      2          •	 Sorting	out	the	finances	                   •	   Serving	Parents	&	Carers
                 •	 Wills	and	insurance                         •	   Prepare	your	children	
 Preparing for   •	 Operational	Commitments					            	   •	   Storybook	Soldiers
 deployment      	  Establishment	(OCE)	                        •	   Families	Support	Groups
                 •	 Legal	matters	                              •	   ‘Trusted	friends’	schemes	
                 •	 Access	to	military	establishments	          •	   Relationships
                 •	 Army	pay,	allowances	                       •	   ArmyNET
                    and compensation                            •	   The	car	
                 •	 Service	Family	                             •	   Key	documents
                 	 Accommodation	(SFA)                          •	   Dates	to	remember
                 •	 Substitute	Service	Family

      3          •	 The	emotional	cycle	of	deployment           •	 Pregnancy	
                 •	 Keeping	in	touch	–	social	networking				    •	 Debt/Financial	Advice
    During	         sites                                       •	 Separation	survival	guide
  deployment     •	 Mobile	phones                               •	 Supporting	other	families	
                 •	 Rest	and	Recuperation	(R&R)	                	  at	difficult	times
                 •	 Deployment	Welfare	Package                  •	 Who	you	can	turn	to	for	help
                 •	 Looking	after	the	family                    •	 Armed	Forces	sources	of		 	
                 •	 Going	away                                     support
                 •	 Children                                    •	 Other	sources	of	help
                 •	 Health	(including	emotional	health)	

      4          •	 Casualty	procedures                         •	 Frequently	asked	questions	
                 •	 Compassionate	leave	&	travel                •	 Overseas	compassionate		 	
 Emergencies                                                    	 leave/travel	card

      5       •	      Things	to	consider                        •	 Tips	for	parents	of	
              •	      Avoiding	traffic	accidents                   returning soldiers
 Homecoming		 •	      Children	and	reunion                      •	 Tips	on	dealing	with	stress	and		
                      Tips	on	dealing	with	traumatic	stress		      post traumatic stress disorder
              	       in	children	and	young	people

      6          Explaining	the	Army,	abbreviations	and	terminology

      7          Pre-Deployment	Check	List
2 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                            3

Section	1

This guide has been prepared to help you during the time that
your serving soldier1 is away on an operational deployment.

A	     guide	alone	will	never	replace	the	vital	part	
       that	your	family	and	friends	can	play	in	
supporting	you	through	what	may	be	a	difficult	
                                                                     point	of	contact	for	most	matters.		UWOs	are	
                                                                     there	to	support	members	of	a	unit	and	their	
                                                                     families.		They	are	trained	to	provide	welfare	
and	at	times	lonely	period.		Remember	that	                          support	and	offer	a	confidential	service.		Put	
Army	welfare	support,	in	one	form	or	another,	                       their	phone	number	in	the	front	of	the	guide	as	
can	extend	to	everyone;	spouse,	civil	partner,	                      well.		If	you	do	not	know	who	they	are	check	
partner,	mother,	father,	son	or	daughter,	you	all	                   with	your	serving	soldier	who	should	provide	
have	someone	to	turn	to.		A	list	of	useful	phone	                    you	with	the	contact	details.		You	can	also	use	
numbers	and	websites	is	included	in	this	guide,	                     the	other	numbers	inside	the	front	cover	if	you	
so	read	on	and	use	what	you	feel	you	need.	                          need	to.		

This	guide	focuses	on	spouses	and	civil	
                                                                     To	get	the	most	benefit	from	the	support	that	is	
partners	in	the	UK	and	any	differences	for	those	
                                                                     available,	if	you	can	do	try	to	attend	briefings,	
assigned	overseas	are	explained	in	the	related	
                                                                     join	the	internet		familiy	support	groups	and	
sections.		However,	parents	of	single	soldiers	
                                                                     where	possible	try	out	or	even	volunteer	to	
and	single	soldier’s	partners	may	also	find	it	
                                                                     support	the	arranged	activities	in	order	to	get	
useful	both	as	a	reminder	to	put	things	in	order	
                                                                     the	most	out	of	what	the	Army	makes	available.
before	deployment	and	as	a	guide	of	where	to	
turn	to	for	help.		
                                                                     The	Army	does	not	want	you	to	feel	isolated	
                                                                                                                                   Start by writing your soldier’s details on the
Not	all	of	the	information	here	will	be	relevant	to	                 whilst	your	loved	one	is	away.		Your	friends	and	
                                                                                                                                   inside front cover as you will need them nearly
everybody	–	but	keep	it	handy	(perhaps	by	the	                       family	will	probably	be	your	strongest	support	
                                                                                                                                   every time you make a phone call about them
phone)	in	case	you	need	it	later.                                    network,	however,	if	you	have	any	issues	you	
                                                                                                                                   to someone in the Army.
                                                                     feel	unable	to	handle,	or	you	just	need	to	talk,	
Before	your	soldier	leaves	you	should	be	                            please	remember	that	there	is	always	someone	
contacted	by	your	soldier’s	nominated	Unit	                          in	the	Army	you	can	turn	to	for	advice	and	
Welfare	Officer	(UWO)	who	should	be	your	first	                      support.

 Throughout	the	guide	the	term	serving	soldier	is	used.		This	is	a	generic	term	used	to	cover	officers	and	other	ranks,	male	or	
female	of	any	Regiment	or	Corps.	
4 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                5

Section	2
Preparing for

As soon as you know that your soldier is going to be deployed on
operations you should start making plans to help you and your
family manage whilst they are away. Many areas of your life will be
affected by their departure but the deployment will be a lot easier
to bear if you and your family are well prepared. Some key areas
you might want to think about are in this section.

                                                            Sorting	out	the	Finances
                                                            Your	soldier	being	away	may	affect	your	family’s	    •	 If	you	have	separate	bank	accounts	ensure	          satellite	TV	provider,	their	gym	membership,	
                                                            financial	affairs.		You	need	to	be	confident	that	      that	you	both	have	access	to	whatever	funds	        subscriptions	etc)	but	be	realistic	about	the	
                                                            everything	is	set	up	correctly	and	that	you	            you	may	require	and	that	funds	are	available	       additional	cost	of	entertaining	children	as	a	
                                                            will	be	able	to	continue	making	any	regular	            in	case	of	an	emergency.	                           lone	parent.
                                                            payments,	such	as	mortgages,	loans	or	               •	 It	may	be	that	the	only	means	for	your	         •	 Consider	asking	your	soldier	to	authorise	you	
                                                            insurance	policies.		Army	pay	and	allowances	           soldier	to	get	cash	whilst	deployed	is	by	         to	deal	with	all	the	finances	and	insurances	
                                                            are	covered	in	more	detail	later	in	this	section.       cashing	UK	cheques.		Make	sure	your	               they	may	have	in	their	sole	name.		Check	
                                                            Once	your	soldier	leaves,	you	may	be	                   soldier	has	plenty	of	cheques	to	last	             what	the	companies	concerned	will	need	to	
                                                            responsible	for	all	of	the	household	finances,	         the	deployment	and	be	aware	that	they	             make	this	arrangement,	such	as	a	letter	of	
                                                            including	sorting	out	any	problems	that	may	            may	take	a	long	time	to	come	out	of	the	           authorisation	or	Power	of	Attorney,	which	
                                                            arise.		The	following	tips	may	help	you	to	avoid	       account.                                           can	be	set	up	with	a	solicitor.
                                                            any	difficulties:                                    •	 Consider	making	bill	payments	by	direct	        •	 Take	time	to	think	about	reviewing	regular	
                                                                                                                    debit	or	standing	order	from	your	bank	            savings.		The	deployment	may	be	an	
                                                            •	 Talk	over	a	budget	with	your	soldier	prior	to	
                                                                                                                    account.	                                          opportunity	to	save.		There	are	many	tax-
                                                               deployment.		Consider	agreeing	a	realistic	
                                                               amount	for	spending	whilst	away,	and	             •	 Discuss	where	you	might	be	able	to	save	           efficient	options	available,	and	numerous	
                                                               budget	for	their	cheques	cashed	in	theatre	          money	whilst	your	soldier	is	away	(e.g.	           ways	of	making	the	most	of	your	money.		
                                                               to	come	out	of	the	account.	                         cancelling/reducing	the	package	from	your	
6 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                7

     Consider consulting an Independent
     Financial	Advisor.
                                                            briefing	where	your	unit	will	discuss	what	will	         or	in	a	civil	partnership,	your	soldier	
•	 Consider	consulting,	for	example,	                       happen	when	your	soldier	is	away	which	may	              might	want	to	formalise	these	wishes	in	
   MoneyFacts	for	information	on	the	best	                  cover	the	following:	                                    their	will.		Those	nominating	individuals	
   rates	available		                                                                           as	beneficiaries	in	their	wills	(who	are	in	
   Most	national	newspapers	will	also	feature	              •	 Every	adult	should	have	a	will	detailing	their	
                                                                                                                     receipt	of	UK	state	benefits)	may	wish	to	
   articles	on	financial	matters.		Additional	                 specific	wishes	in	the	event	of	their	death,	
                                                                                                                     consider	taking	financial/legal	advice	about	
   information	and	booklets	on	a	wide	range	                   this	is	especially	important	when	embarking	
                                                                                                                     how	any	financial	payments	may	impact	on	
   of	financial	matters	including	free	booklets,	              on	a	deployment.	
                                                                                                                     continued	eligibility	to	UK	state	benefits.	
   budget	calculators,	compare	products	                    •	 Wills	can	be	stored	with	a	solicitor,	with	a	         Those	assigned	in	Germany	can	seek	
   tables	and	website	material	are	available	                  bank,	at	home	or	with	a	relative.	Military	           advice	from	Army	Legal	Assistance	(HQ	
   from	the	UK	Financial	Watchdog	–	the	                       personnel	can	also	make	a	simple	will	by	             ALA)	Tel:	0521	9254	3191/3196,	if	you	are	           consider	updating	your	existing	will	
   Financial	Services	Authority	at:		                          completing	a	MOD	Form	106.		This	can	                 assigned	elsewhere	overseas	you	should	          	   to	reflect	the	changed	situation.                              be	stored	at	the	MOD	Document	Holding	                contact	the	UWO	for	advice	on	who	to	
Ensure	you	know	the	whereabouts	of	all	the	key	                Centre	in	Glasgow.		Consult	a	solicitor	if	           turn	to.                                         •	 You	and	your	soldier	are	encouraged	to	
documents	you	may	need	whilst	your	soldier	is	                 you	feel	that	your	current	arrangements	                                                                  review	your	family’s	personal	insurance	
                                                                                                                 •	 If	you	are	buying	property	you	may	suggest	
away,	a	checklist	is	at	Section	7.                             are	not	adequate.		This	is	particularly	                                                                  needs.		Whilst	it	remains	MOD	policy	not	to	
                                                                                                                    to	the	solicitor	who	is	working	on	your	behalf	
                                                               important	if	you	own	property	or	other	                                                                   sponsor	any	commercial	organisation,	you	
                                                                                                                    to	produce	a	will	at	the	same	time.	
                                                               valuable	assets	or	have	special	wishes	that	                                                              and	your	soldier	should	consider	joining	the	
Wills	and	Insurance                                            you	want	noted	formally.		It	is	also	worth	       •	 If	you	have	recently	married,	formed	a	              Services	Life	Insurance	or	PAX	insurance	
Those	deploying	are	strongly	advised	to	draw	                  discussing	what	your	soldier	might	want	             civil	partnership,	divorced	or	undergone		           schemes,	which	offer	accident	cover	and	
up	a	will	with	a	solicitor	prior	to	deployment.		In	           you	to	do	if	they	are	seriously	wounded	             dissolution,	or	your	personal	or	family	             life	cover	options	and	can	be	taken	out	for	
addition	there	will	normally	be	a	pre-deployment	              or	killed	in	action	-	if	you	are	not	married	        circumstances	have	changed	you	should	               the	duration	of	the	tour	or	longer	term,	and	
8 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                       9

     are	especially	designed	to	take	account	of	                                                                Parental Responsibility.		Those	unmarried	              there	are	legal	requirements	to	notify	the	local	
     the	unique	needs	of	Armed	Forces	service.		                                                                fathers	remaining	behind	who	are	either	                authorities	to	ensure	the	child	receives	the	best	
     Further	details	are	in	Section	3.		Decisions	                                                              step-parents	or	partners	with	responsibility	for	       possible	care.		The	Army	Welfare	Service	or	your	
     about	selecting	financial	insurance	services	                                                              children	(if	they	haven’t	registered	as	the	father	     Local	Authority	Children	Services	department	will	
     or products are a personal responsibility and                                                              on	the	birth	certificate	of	the	child)	should	          be	able	to	provide	you	with	more	advice.
     if	appropriate	you	should	seek	advice	from	a	                                                              consider getting parental responsibility and
     qualified	financial	advisor.                                                                               female	spouses,	civil	partners	or	partners	left	        Access	to	Military	Establishments
                                                                                                                with	the	care	of	step-children	may	also	need	to	        Dependants	of	deployed	soldiers	may	be	able	
•	 All	soldiers	should	consider	joining	the	Army	                                                               seek	advice	to	provide	formal	legal	recognition	        to	apply	for	a	Visitors	Pass/Dependants	ID	
   Dependants’	Trust	(ADT)	for	the	duration	                                                                    of	their	status	when	dealing	with	authorities	          Card	at	their	local	unit	or	military	station	for	the	
   of	their	service.		Application	forms	are	held	                                                               over	child(ren)	issues	such	as	schooling	and	           duration	of	a	deployment.		Contact	your	UWO	
   at	the	Reserve	Training	and	Mobilisation	                                                                    health	matters.		                                       for	more	information.
   Centre	(RTMC)	or	your	soldiers	Regimental	
   Administrative	Office	(RAO).		ADT	offers	                                                                    Inloco parentis.	the	legal	doctrine	under	which	        Army	Pay,	Allowances	
   immediate	financial	support	to	families,	
                                                            Legal	Matters                                       an	individual	assumes	parental	rights,	duties	          and Compensation
   following	the	death	of	an	ADT	member.                                                                        and	obligations	without	going	through	the	
                                                            Power of Attorney.		You	and	your	soldier	           formalities	of	Legal	Adoption.                          These	notes	are	to	help	you	to	understand	
Operational	Commitments	                                    may	wish	to	consider	a	Power	of	Attorney	                                                                   these	allowances	–	your	soldier	will	know	about	
Establishment	(OCE)                                         (Lasting	Power	of	Attorney	in	England	and	          Private Housing. 	If	renting	a	private	property	        how	to	make	a	claim.		If	you	have	any	questions	
Service	Personnel	who	are	deployed	as	part	                 Wales,	Continuing	Power	of	Attorney	in	             and	the	tenancy	is	in	the	name	of	the	deploying	        whilst	they	are	away,	speak	to	your	UWO.
of	the	OCE	should	ensure	that	arrangements	                 Scotland	and	Enduring	Power	of	Attorney	in	         soldier,	ensure	that	this	will	not	cause	any	           Army Pay.		Army	pay	is	determined	by	rank,	
are	put	in	place	for	the	support	of	their	families	         Northern	Ireland)	which	is	a	legal	document	        difficulties	with	the	landlord	before	deployment.		     profession/branch	or	trade,	qualifications	held	
while	on	assignment	before	they	deploy.	You	                authorising	you	to	act	on	behalf	of	your	serving	   Those	who	own	property	registered	only	in	              and	satisfactory	performance.		Your	soldier	will	
should	have	welfare	contact	details	for	a	UWO	              soldier	in	some	circumstances.		In	England	         the	name	of	the	deploying	soldier	may	wish	to	          be	able	to	find	out	their	details	from	their	unit	
that	your	family	can	contact	should	they	require	           and	Wales	a	form	can	be	downloaded	from	            seek	legal	advice	to	ensure	that	there	will	be	no	      Human	Resources	(HR)	admin	staff	and	their	
assistance	during	your	deployment.		                        the, those	with	more	      complications	whilst	the	owner	of	the	property	         monthly	pay	slip	or	via	ArmyNET.	
                                                            complex	affairs	and	those	normally	resident	in	     is	deployed.
                                                                                                                                                                        •	 Army Allowances. 	Allowances	exist	to	
If	you	have	not	been	provided	with	UWO	details	             Scotland	or	Northern	Ireland	should	seek	the	
                                                                                                                Private Fostering. If during deployment any                ensure	that	your	soldier	receives	financial	
and	are	not	sure	who	to	contact,	please	ring	               advice	of	a	solicitor.		A	Power	of	Attorney	can	
                                                                                                                children	are	to	be	left	in	the	care	of	someone	who	        recompense	for	the	additional	costs	
AWIS	between	9am	–	5pm	work	days	01980	                     be	revoked	on	your	soldier’s	return	or	left	in	
                                                                                                                is	not	a	close	relative	for	a	period	of	over	28	days	      incurred	through	the	vagaries	of	Service	life.	
61	5975.                                                    place	indefinitely.	
10 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                  11

     Rates	are	available	on	ArmyNET	or	through	                                                                       UK;	please	contact	your	soldier’s	unit	HR	      	   For	example,	in	England,	Wales	and	Northern	
     unit	HR	admin	staff	and	may	include:                                                                             admin	staff	or	your	UWO	,	who	will	be	able	         Ireland,	the	May	Day	Holiday	will	regularly	
                                                                                                                      to	explain	eligibility.                             be	taken	on	the	first	Monday	in	May.		In	
•	 Longer Separation Allowance (LSA).
                                                                                                                                                                          Scotland	it	will	be	taken	on	the	last	Monday	
   This	allowance	compensates	personnel	
                                                                                                                  •	 Post	Operational	Leave	(POL).		                      in	May	as	the	first	Monday	is	usually	the	
   experiencing	separation	over	and	above	
                                                                                                                     All	personnel	on	a	6	month	tour	will	be	             Spring	Bank	Holiday	in	Scotland.		Although	
   that	compensated	for	by	the	X-Factor	
                                                                                                                     granted	20	working	days	POL.		For	those	             part	of	the	leave	allocation	PH	do	not	have	
   element	of	basic	pay.		As	a	general	
                                                                                                                     who	do	not	complete	6	months,	their	POL	             to	be	taken	on	the	exact	date;	when	they	are	
   principle,	it	is	paid	at	increasing	amounts	in	
                                                                                                                     is	assessed	as	1	day	POL	per	9	days	                 taken	remains	at	the	discretion	of	the	chain	
   order	to	target	those	who	experience	the	
                                                                                                                     deployed.		Any	Public	Holidays	that	fall	            of	command.		Personnel	are	to	record	all	
   most	separation	throughout	their	service.	
                                                                                                                     during	POL	are	to	be	added	to	the	overall	           periods	of	absence	they	take,	including	PHs	
•	 Local Overseas Allowance (LOA).		This	                                                                            entitlement.                                         on	JPA.		Stand-down	is	additional	to	any	
   may	be	payable	to	those	who	deploy	                                                                                                                                    Annual	Leave	an	individual	may	be	granted.		
   through	for	instance	Germany	or	Cyprus	                                                                        •	 Annual Leave Allowance.		Annual	Leave	               The	taking	of	the	additional	PH	in	NI	(2	
   but	it	is	not	paid	in	an	area	or	theatre	where	                                                                   is	an	authorised	period	of	absence	of	one	           days),	Scotland	(1	day)	or	overseas	is	at	the	
   the	Deployment	Welfare	Package	(DWP)	is	                                                                          or	more	days	up	to	38	days	including	Public	         discretion	of	the	Commanding	Officer	(CO).
   authorised.	Those	deploying	on	operations	                for	travel	to	visit	parents,	parents-in-law	or	         Holidays	(PH)	plus	any	Annual	Leave	carried	
   from	overseas	are	entitled	to	residual	                   Nominated	Next	of	Kin/Emergency	Contact.		              forward	per	leave	year	which	runs	from	1	
                                                                                                                                                                      •	 Council	Tax	Relief	for	Troops	on	
   rates	of	LOA	if	their	families	remain	in	the	             The	number	of	travel	warrants	increases	                April	to	31	March	for	all	Service	personnel.		
                                                                                                                                                                         Operations.		Soldiers	deploying	on	
   overseas	locations.                                       the	longer	the	soldier	is	deployed.		Travel	            Weekends	that	fall	within	periods	of	Annual	
                                                                                                                                                                         operations	will	benefit	from	a	tax-free	rebate	
                                                             warrants	can	also	be	reversed	to	allow	                 Leave	are	classed	as	periods	when	an	
                                                                                                                                                                         on	the	cost	of	council	tax.		Your	soldier	will	
•	 Operational Allowance (OA).		OA	is	paid	                  parents,	family	etc	to	visit	you	at	your	home	          individual	is	not	required	for	duty	see	para	
                                                                                                                                                                         be	able	to	find	out	the	details	from	their	unit	
   at	a	current	flat	rate	for	each	day	that	your	            especially	if	it	is	difficult	for	you	to	travel.		      2.017.		PH	are:	New	Year’s	Day;	Good	
                                                                                                                                                                         HR	admin	staff.
   soldier	serves	on	authorised	operations.                                                                          Friday;	Easter	Monday;	Early	Spring	Bank	
                                                             For	information	regarding	family	travel	
                                                                                                                     Holiday	;	Late	Spring	Bank	Holiday	;	Late	
•	 Concessionary	Families	Travel	Warrants.                   warrants,	or	if	you	are	a	citizen	from	the	
                                                                                                                     Summer	Bank	Holiday;	Christmas	Day;	and	
   For	deployments	travel	warrant	or	motor	                  commonwealth	who	is	accompanying	your	
                                                                                                                     Boxing	Day.		Establishments	may	alter	these	
   mileage	claims	may	be	available	for		the	                 soldier	posted	overseas,	and	need	to	know	
                                                                                                                     days	to	suit	local	circumstances.		
   spouse/civil	partner	of	a	soldier	deployed	               more	about	travel	between	your	unit	and	the	
12 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                             13

Local	Currency.		The	currency	used	by	your	                  depends	on	whether	the	period	of	service	was	       Service	Family	Accommodation	
soldier	on	operations	will	depend	on	the	local	              before	or	after	6	April	2005.		The	schemes	are	     (SFA)                                                Northern Ireland
situation,	they	should	be	able	to	tell	you	more	             administered	by	the	Service	Personnel	and	
                                                                                                                 Daily Maintenance.		It	is	recommended	that	          Defence Estates Operations Housing
about	this	after	their	pre-deployment	briefing.              Veterans	Agency	(SPVA).		For	more	information	
                                                                                                                 you	make	yourself	familiar	with	the	following	       Lisburn	Tel	02892	2661	72	or	74	-Monday	to	
                                                             about	either	pension	options	and	compensation	
Forces Railcard. 	Although	not	an	allowance,	                                                                    before	your	soldier	departs:                         Friday	08.00	to	16.30,	contact	the	Guardroom	
                                                             schemes,	visit	(	or	ring	
your	soldier	is	entitled	to	purchase	a	Forces	                                                                   •	   Central	heating	controls                        outside	these	hours.
                                                             the	SPVA	helpline	on	UK	0800	169	2277	or	
Railcard	for	themselves	and	their	spouse/civil	                                                                  •	   Fuse	box	and	trip	switch
                                                             overseas	+44	(0)1253	866043.                                                                             Defence Estates Operations Housing
partner	which	provides	discounted	rail	travel.		                                                                 •	   Location	of	main	electricity	isolation	switch
Railcards	are	available	from	your	soldier’s	                                                                                                                          Holywood	Tel	02890	420	344
                                                             Enquiries. 	All	enquiries	about	Army	pay,	          •	   Turn	off	for	main	water	supply
unit	HR	admin	staff.		There	is	a	fee,	and	a	                                                                                                                          Monday	to	Friday	08.00	to	16.00,	contact	the	
                                                             allowances	and	pensions	matters	should	be	          •	   Turn	off	for	main	gas	supply
requirement	for	a	passport	sized	photograph.		                                                                                                                        Guardroom	outside	these	hours.
                                                             made	to	your	soldier’s	unit	admin	or	welfare	       •	   Install/test	smoke	alarms
Once	issued	they	may	provide	discounted	rail	
                                                             staff	in	the	first	instance.		Where	this	is	not	    In	addition	make	sure	you	keep	electricity	and	      Defence Estates Operations Housing
travel	in	the	UK.
                                                             practicable	it	is	possible	to	contact	the	Joint	    gas	emergency	contact	telephone	numbers	             Ballykinler	Tel	02844	610	410
Compensation.		Serving	personnel	or	Veterans	                Personnel	Administration	Centre	-Enquiry	           handy.                                               Monday	to	Friday	08.00	to	16.00,	contact	the	
(a	soldier	discharged	from	the	Services)	can	                Centre by email JSPC@SPVA.MOD.UK phone	                                                                  Guardroom	outside	these	hours.
                                                                                                                 Repairs.		If	you	live	in	Service	Family	
apply	for	compensation	if	they	have	an	illness	              0800	0853600	or	fax	on	0141224	3586	though	
                                                                                                                 Accommodation	(SFA)	and	need	to	report	              Defence Estates Operations Housing
or	injury	and	service	is	the	only	or	main	cause.		           data	protection	issues	will	affect	the	amount	of	
                                                                                                                 a	fault,	either	routine	or	emergency,	please	        Aldergrove	Tel	02894	455	012		
The	scheme	under	which	they	can	claim	                       personal	information	that	can	be	provided.		
                                                                                                                 contact	the	following:                               Monday	to	Thursday	08.30	to	16.30,	Friday	
                                                                                                                                                                      08.30	to	15.30,	contact	the	Guardroom	outside	
                                                                                                                 England,	Wales	and	Scotland                          these	hours.
                                                                                                                 MODern Housing Solutions                             British Forces Germany (BFG).
                                                                                                                 for	England	and	Wales	Tel	0800	707	6000              Within	BFG	the	responsibility	for	the	repairs	
                                                                                                                 Regional	Prime	Contract	for	Scotland                 to	SFA	rests	with	Defence	Estates	(Europe)/
                                                                                                                 Tel	0800	328	6337.		                                 Garrison	Works	Alliance	(DE(E)/GWA).		
                                                                                                                 This	is	a	24/7	service,	available	to	you	365	days	
                                                                                                                 a	year	including	Christmas	and	New	Year’s	Day.
14 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                     15

During	normal	working	hours	defects,	faults	                 Asst	logs	all	faults	in	hirings	and	reports	them	    progress	of	the	repair	carried	out	by	the	               able	to	provide	you	with	more	advice	and	for	
or	repairs	are	to	be	reported	to	the	DE(E)/                  direct	to	the	relevant	landlord	by	telephone	        landlord	or	his	contractor.	                             those	assigned	overseas,	the	British	Forces	
GWA	Help	Desk.		Each	Garrison	or	Station	                    and	or	fax	if	available.	If	it	is	an	out	of	hours	   For	emergency	repairs	please	contact	the	HCR	            Social	Work	Services	can	assist.	
DE(E)/GWA	Help	Desk	has	its	own	individual	                  emergency	the	occupant	should	call	the	help	         out	of	hours	emergency	Tel	0870	162	8185.	
telephone	number,	the	details	of	which	are	                  desk	in	Ottawa	on	Free	phone	1	800	903	2342	         You	may	also	seek	support	or	advice	from	your	           Young	Carers
provided	by	the	Housing	&	Estate	Manager	                    who	will	allocate	the	work	service	to	an	on	call	    Unit	Welfare	Office	(UWO)	or	local	HIVE.	
(HEM)	to	the	licensee	on	moving	into	the	SFA.			             tradesman.	The	occupant	must	then	inform	the	                                                                 Deploying	Service	personnel	with	families	who	
                                                             Est	Man	Asst	the	next	working	day.
                                                                                                                  Serving	Parents	and	Carers                               live	and	manage	additional	needs	and	disability	
Out of Hours.		DE(E)/GWA	Emergency	                                                                               The	Army	has	a	vested	interest	in	helping	               with	the	support	of	a	young	carer,	should	
Service	-	An	emergency	repair	is	defined	as	                 Brunei and other BFPOs.                              soldiers	balance	the	needs	of	their	employment	          ensure	that	they	inform	their	chain	of	command	
one	which	is	necessary	because	life	or	health	               Before	your	soldier	deploys	ensure	that	your	        with	their	family	life.		However	as	soldiers,	           and	welfare	staff	(UWO)	pre-deployment	to	
is	endangered,	or	the	building	is	in	danger	                 soldiers	leaves	you	the	contact	details.		           serving	parents	or	carers	must	be	available	             highlight	any	concerns	the	family	have	during	
of	extensive	damage.	In	such	circumstances	                  Alternatively	contact	your	UWO	or	local	             for	deployment	at	anytime	and	so	have	a	                 their	soldiers	deployment.	Serving	personnel	
you	are	to	contact	the	duty	telephone	number	                housing	provider.                                    personal	responsibility	for	ensuring	that	they	          are	reminded	that	it	remains	a	personal	
provided	by	the	HEM	when	moving	into	your	                                                                        have	arrangements	in	place	to	care	for	their	            responsibility to ensure appropriate support
SFA.		If	you	have	not	received	a	duty	contact	
                                                             Substitute	Service	Family	                           child(ren)	or	relatives	for	whom	they	have	care	         arrangements	are	in	place	whilst	they	are	away.		
number	then	you	should	contact	your	unit	
                                                             Accommodation                                        responsibility	during	any	absences;	or	should	           Additional	information	is	available	about	young	
Duty	Officer	via	your	unit	guard	room.		                                                                          they	need	to	be	away	for	deployment.		Key	to	            carers	support	on	the	Directgov	Young	Carers	
                                                             England,	Wales	and	Scotland	only.
                                                                                                                  this	is	making	arrangements	well	in	advance	             website:
British	Forces	Cyprus	(BFC).                                 If	you	live	in	Substitute	Service	Family	
                                                                                                                  and	ensuring	that	advice	and	support	is	sought	
                                                             Accommodation	(SSFA)	and	need	to	report	a	
INTERSERVE	Tel	8000	2400	Monday	07.00	                                                                            from	either	the	Unit	Welfare	Staff	or	the	Army	          Searchresults/index.htm?fullText=Young+Carers
                                                             fault	please	contact	both	of	the	following	for	
to	17.00,	Tuesday	to	Friday	07.00	to	15.00,	                                                                      Welfare	Service.		
                                                             routine	repairs:
contact	the	Guardroom	outside	of	these	hours.                                                                                                                              Families	with	Children,Young	
                                                             Your Landlord                                        If	during	the	deployment	any	children	are	to	be	         People	or	Adult	with	Additional	
BATUS                                                        HCR	Maintenance	Cell	                                left	in	the	care	of	someone	who	is	not	a	close	          Needs	or	Disabilities
The	occupant	is	to	report	all	faults	in	SFA	and	             Tel	01256	313764	                                    relative	for	a	period	of	over	28	days	there	are	
Hirings	to	the	Estate	Managers	Assistant	(Est	               (during	normal	working	hours	                        legal	requirements	to	notify	the	local	authorities	to	   Families	should	consider	and	put	in	place	
Man	Asst)	on	Ext	5565.		The	Est	Man	Asst	                    09.00	-	17.30	Monday	to	Friday)                      ensure	the	child	receives	the	best	possible	care.	       the	additional	arrangements	they	may	need	
logs	all	faults	in	Ralston	MQ’s	and	forwards	                                                                                                                              for	support	to	the	non-deployed	parent	with	
them	to	the	Canadian	Forces	Housing	Agency	                  The	HCR	maintenance	cell	needs	to	record	            The	Army	Welfare	Service	or	your	Local	                  children	or	young	people	with	additional	needs	
(CFHA)	by	fax	on	Ext	5537.		The	Est	Man	                     all	reported	faults	and	will	then	monitor	the	       Authority	Children	Services	department	will	be	          or	disability.		Families	should	also	make	sure	
16 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                  17

that	if	the	non-deployed	parent	has	a	additional	            Induces growth.	Military	children	learn	more	
need	or	disability	that	additional	arrangements	             about	the	world	and	how	to	function	within	
for	their	requiments	are	also	considered.	                   a	community	at	an	earlier	age.	Taking	on	
This	must	include	care	over	and	above	your	                  additional	responsibilities	in	a	parent’s	absence	
normal	arrangements,	if	support	should	be	                   provides	a	chance	to	develop	new	skills	and	
requied	at	short	notice	and	include	overnight	               develop	hidden	interests	and	abilities.
arrangements	for	children	should	the	non-
delpoyed	parent	be	taken	ill	or	away	in	the	                 Encourages independence.	Military	children	          With	this	in	mind:
event	of	an	emergency.                                       tend	to	be	more	resourceful	and	self-starters.       •	 Be	honest	with	them	about	where	their	           •	 Consider	telling	the	school	that	your	child	
                                                                                                                     parent	or	carer	is	going,	but	explain	things	       has	a	serving	parent	deployed	overseas	
Prepare	Children	and	                                        Prepares for separations.	In	a	life-style	filled	       in	simple	terms	in	an	unemotional	way	if	           and	provide	them	with	the	details	of	a	
Young	People                                                 with	greetings	and	farewells	from	deployments	          you	can	–	if	they	see	that	you	are	worried	or	      person to contact in an emergency if you
                                                             and	relocations,	helps	for	future	farewells	and	        upset,	they	may	feel	the	same	way.                  are	unavailable.
Many	parents	worry	about	the	negative	                       building	new	friendships.
impact	of	deployments	on	children.	However,	                                                                      •	 Even	young	children	talk	to	each	other,	and	     •	 Consider	starting	up	some	new	activities	
deployments	offer	many	positive	growth	                      Strengthens family bonds.	Military	families	            older	children	may	pick	up	on	stories	in	the	       or	clubs	for	the	children	whilst	their	serving	
opportunities.	Several	psychological	studies	                make	emotional	adjustments	during	a	                    media.		Be	aware	of	what	they	are	seeing	           parent	or	carer	is	away.		This	will	help	whilst	
show	that	despite	the	distress	during	                       separation	which	often	lead	them	to	discover	           and	hearing,	and	be	ready	to	explain	what	is	       they	are	missing	their	parent	or	carer,	and	
separation	significant	developmental	gains	                  new	sources	of	strength	and	support	among	              happening	to	allay	any	fears.                       will	also	provide	a	break	for	you.
are	made	by	many	children’.		Some	positive	                  themselves.	A	major	function	of	family	
aspects	of	separation	include:	                              readiness	is	assuring	that	the	family	is	aware	of	   •	 Plan	to	keep	your	children’s	routine	as	         •	 Seek	advice	if	you	think	that	your	child	
                                                             all	support	services	available	to	them	and	how	         normal	as	possible.		Usually,	when	normal	          needs	help	to	deal	with	their	issues.	
Fosters maturity.	Military	children	encounter	               to	access	these	services.	It	is	imperative	that	        things	continue	to	take	place,	children	will	       Consider	talking	to	a	teacher,	your	health	
more	situations	and	have	broader	and	more	                   the	family	realize	that	they	are	not	alone	and,	        feel	that	everything	is	actually	normal.	           visitor	or	GP,	or	refer	to	the	welfare	
varied	experiences	than	children	from	non-                   chances	are,	whatever	problem	or	situation	          	 This	is	especially	true	of	younger	children.         agencies	listed	in	this	guide.
military	families.	                                          they	encounter	has	been	addressed	before.	
18 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                     19

Storybook	Soldiers                                                                                                Office/Regimental	Operations	Support	Officer	         ArmyNET
                                                                                                                  for	more	information.
Storybook	Soldiers	is	a	scheme	which	provides	                                                                                                                          ArmyNET	is	a	secure	website	that	every	soldier	
a	link	between	parents	who	are	away	on	                                                                                                                                 and	their	family	members	can	register	to	use.		It	
operations	and	their	children.	Soldiers	are	
                                                                                                                  Relationships                                         contains	a	huge	amount	of	useful	information,	
recorded	reading	a	bedtime	story	for	their	                                                                       You	may	not	have	been	separated	from	your	            email,	instant	messaging	facilities,	access	to	unit	
children	to	listen	to.		Music	and	sound	effects	                                                                  soldier	for	long	periods	before,	and	this	can	be	     discussion	forums	and	is	a	means	of	keeping	up	
are	added	and	the	finished	disk	is	really	special	                                                                a	worrying	time	especially	if	it	is	an	operational	   to	date	with	immediate	news	during	the	tour.
-	a	wonderful	way	for	soldiers	to	be	part	of	their	                                                               deployment.		Increased	fears	and	worrying	may	
child’s	life	while	they	are	deployed,	not	just	at	                                                                play	a	part	in	the	run-up	to	departure,	for	both	     Your soldier will need to register
bedtime	but	on	car	journeys	and	at	other	times	                                                                   of	you	and	your	soldier.	                             first, before any other member of the
of	the	day.                                                                                                       Try	to	make	time	to	talk	to	each	other.		You	will	    family can be given a guest login.
                                                             enabling	you	to	record	with	your	soldier’s	unit,	    know	what	works	best	for	both	of	you,	but	here	       Ask your soldier to arrange for you
How	to	make	a	Storybook	CD	for	your	                         the	name	and	contact	details	of	a	trusted	           are	some	tips	to	think	about:                         to be registered before they depart.
child? Go	to 	the	               friend	willing	to	support	you	and	your	children	
contact	telephone	numbers	and	details	for	UK	                if	you	have	an	emergency.		For	instance	if	you	      •	 Your	soldier’s	brain	may	‘arrive’	in	theatre	      The	serving	soldier	needs	to	give	their	name,	
and	Germany	are	on	the	website.                              were	left	without	transport	or	childcare	at	short	      before	their	body	does.		They	will	be	             National	Insurance	number	and	blood	group	to	
                                                             notice.	Your	UWO	should	be	asked	for	more	              thinking	about	their	job	and	what	they	            register	and	obtain	a	username	and	password.		
Hello	from	Home	                                             details.	                                               have	to	do	when	deployed,	which	may	               They	can	then	‘sponsor’	family	members	to	use	
                                                                                                                     leave	you	feeling	that	they	aren’t	thinking	       the	site,	and	guests	will	be	issued	with	their	own	
This	free	Army	booklet	is	produced	for	younger	              Families	Support	Groups                                 about	you.	This	won’t	be	true,	so	try	to	          username	and	password.		Anyone	logging	on	
children	to	help	them	keep	in	touch	with	their	                                                                      make	allowances	if	their	mind	seems	to	be	         will	also	need	to	answer	questions	about	a	pre-
                                                             Your	unit	may	run	a	Families	Support	Group	
parent	while	away.		This	book	can	be	ordered	                                                                        elsewhere.                                         saved	memorable	word	as	additional	security.		
                                                             scheme	both	on	camp	and	through	virtual	
for	each	family	through	your	welfare	support	                communities	using	ArmyNET	by	exchanging	             •	 Consider	going	out	together	for	a	quiet	
staff	using	reference	AC	64444	and	MSN	                                                                                                                                 Soldier’s	family	members	will	need	to	register	to	
                                                             (where	consent	has	been	given)	email	                   meal	or	even	just	for	a	walk.		This	might	
091LAN0348944.		Please	ask	if	you	would	like	                                                                                                                           use	the	site	using	the	guest	
                                                             addressees/mobile	phone	numbers	and	also	               help	you	both	to	focus	on	whatever	issues	
a	copy	for	your	child	or	children.	                                                                                                                                     log-in	facility	on	the	home	page,	making	sure	
                                                             running	activities	which	provide	opportunities	         need	discussing,	without	distractions.
                                                                                                                                                                        that	you	have	your	soldier’s	username	to	hand.		
                                                             for	families	to	meet	and	exchange	experiences	
‘Trusted	Friends’	Schemes                                    (where	necessary	‘virtually’	through	ArmyNET	
                                                                                                                  •	 Don’t	let	them	leave	with	any	unresolved	          An	individual	username	and	password	will	be	
                                                                                                                     problems,	and	try	to	make	up	before	they	          given	to	you	to	use	at	each	visit	to	the	site.
Your	soldier’s	unit	may	operate	a	‘trusted	                  forums	or	instant	messaging	services).		If	you	
                                                                                                                     leave	if	you’ve	had	an	argument.	
friends’	scheme.		These	are	local	unit	initiatives           want	to	get	involved	ask	your	Unit	Welfare	
20 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                    21

The	Car                                                                                                           Key	Documents
If the car is not being used                                 If you are using the car                             Think	about	the	documents	you	may	need	access	to.		
                                                             Make	sure	that:                                      The	following	check	list	may	be	of	help:
•	 Your	soldier	should	complete	a	SORN	
   (Statutory	Off	Road	Notification)	declaration	            •	 The	car	is	fit	for	driving	before	your	soldier	   •	   Will                                                  •	 Guarantees	for	domestic	appliances.
   (available	from	the	Post	Office).		This	                     goes	away,	eg:	water	/coolant/	spare	             •	   Power	of	Attorney                                     •	 TV	Licence.
   should	mean	that	you	do	not	have	to	                         blankets	and	torch	in	the	boot	in	case	of	        •	   Birth	Certificates.                                   •	 European	Health	Insurance	Card	(EHIC)	
   pay	Road	Tax	for	the	period	of	their	                        breakdowns.                                       •	   National	Insurance	Numbers.                           	  -	if	travelling	within	the	EC.
   deployment.	You	can	also	do	this	by	                                                                           •	   Passports.                                            •	 Savings	Accounts	books	and	the	details	of	
   phone,	by	contacting	DVLA	on	0870	240	                    •	 The	car	is	serviced	at	the	correct	intervals	
                                                                                                                  •	   Marriage/Civil	Partnership	Certificate.                  other	investments	including	TESSA,	PEPs,	
   0010.                                                        and	MOT’d	on	or	before	the	due	date.
                                                                                                                  •	   Insurance	policies	including	house,	                     ISA	shares	and	unit	trusts.
•	 The	car	should	be	parked	OFF	the	road.                    •	 The	car	tax	and	insurance	are	renewed	                 contents,	life	health,	pets	and	critical	illness.     •	 Make	sure	your	families’	passports	and	any	
                                                                when	they	are	due.                                •	   Car	Insurance	policy	and	certificate	(and	               visas	required	are	up	to	date	and	valid.	
•	 Change	the	car	insurance	to	“Laid	Up”	                                                                              how	to	claim).                                        •	 Don’t	forget	you	may	need	passwords	for	
   cover	for	the	period	that	the	car	will	not	               •	 You	know	where	the	spare	key	is.
                                                                                                                  •	   Car	Registration	Document.                               Internet	or	online	banking	accounts.	
   be	driven.		This	often	means	paying	full	                                                                      •	   Car	MOT	Certificate.                                  •	 ArmyNET	account,	soldier’s	authorisation	
   insurance	for	the	duration	but	claiming	back	             •	 Check	car	insurance	‘Main	Named	Driver’	
                                                                                                                  •	   Bank	Statements.                                         and	username.
   50%	of	the	premiums	at	the	end	of	the	laid	                  to	see	if	main	driver	is	outside	the	UK,	do	
   up	period.		Do	check	that	your	soldier	will	                 you	need	to	become	the	named	‘Main	
   be	able	to	drive	the	car	during	R&R.                         Driver’?                                          Dates	to	Note	(please	remember	these	may	change)
•	 If	you	do	not	drive,	your	soldier	should	                 •	 You	keep	details	of	who	to	contact	in	an	
                                                                                                                   Event                                                   Date
   consider arranging for someone to start                      emergency	in	the	car.
                                                                                                                   Pre-Operational	Leave
   the	car	and	run	the	engine,	regularly	whilst	             •	 You	consider	joining	a	reputable	
   they	are	away.                                                                                                  Departure	Day
                                                                breakdown,	repair	and	recovery	
                                                                organisation	for	additional	peace	of	mind.	        Rest	and	Recuperation	(R&R)	starts
                                                                                                                   Rest	and	Recuperation	(R&R)	ends
                                                                                                                   Home	at	Last!
                                                                                                                   Post	Operational	Leave	starts
                                                                                                                   Post	Operational	Leave	ends
22 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                          23

Section	3
The	Emotional	Cycle	of	Deployment

                                                        Stage 7 - Restabilising
                                    Post                                                    Stage 1 Anticipating
                                 Deployment                                                     Departure
                                                                 Stage 7       Sta
         Stage 6 - Adjustment and                          e6                      ge
                                                       g                                      Pre-deployment
        renegotiating relationships                 Sta

                                                                 Unit                         Stage 2 - Detachment and
                                          Stage 5

                                                                                                     withdrawal          your	serving	soldier	for	a	long	period	of	time.	      •	   Keep the lines of communication

   Stage 5 - Anticipation and                                                          a
                                                    Sta                             St                                   You	may	feel	confused,	stressed,	resentful,	or	            open.	It’s	important	to	talk	about	your	
          Homecoming                                    ge
                                                                                            Deployment and
                                                             4                                                           depressed.	Many	couples	argue	more	than	                   own	feelings	and	to	listen	when	your	
                                                                     Stage 3                     R&R
                                                                                                                         usual	as	they	try	to	take	care	of	all	of	their	pre-        serving	soldier	shares	his	or	her	feelings.	
                           Stage 4 - Recovery and                             Stage 3 - Emotional                        deployment	tasks.                                          It’s	also	helpful	to	discuss	what	you	expect	
                            establishing stability                             disorganisation                                                                                      from	each	other	during	the	deployment.
                                                                                                                         As	the	time	of	departure	comes	closer,	some	
Introduction                                                                                                             family	members	begin	to	feel	detached	or	             •	   Create	opportunities	for	lasting	
Keeping	your	emotions	in	balance	can	be	                          The	section	will	help	you	know	what	to	                withdrawn	as	their	serving	soldier	invests	                memories during the separation. It may
a	real	challenge	when	your	serving	soldier	                       expect.	It	will	also	help	you	recognize	signs	         more	time	and	emotional	commitment	in	the	                 not	be	easy	to	set	aside	the	“darling-do”	
is	deployed.	You	may	experience	different	                        that	you	may	be	having	trouble	coping	during	          operational	mission.	                                      lists,	the	pre-deployment	preparations,	
emotions	in	clearly	defined	stages,	starting	                     any	stage	of	the	cycle.	Finally,	it	will	help	                                                                    or your mixed feelings about getting too
when	you	first	learn	about	the	deployment	and	                    you	understand	where	to	find	help	if	you	              Common reactions to an impending                           close	before	the	separation.	But	building	
continuing	until	well	after	your	serving	soldier	                 need	it.	This	knowledge	and	awareness	will	            deployment	include	feelings	of	hopelessness	               in	some	quality	time	together	in	a	relaxed	
has	returned.	                                                    help	you	manage	the	emotions	that	families	            and	impatience.	Some	couples	may	feel	a	                   atmosphere	will	provide	warm	memories	
                                                                  may	experience		during	their	loved	one’s	              decrease	in	emotional	or	physical	closeness.               to	sustain	you	during	the	deployment.
As	you	go	through	this	“emotional	cycle	of	                       deployment.	
deployment,”	you	may	experience	feelings	                                                                                If	you	experience	any	of	these	emotions	during	       •	   Get to know other military spouses
ranging	from	fear,	anger,	and	loneliness	to	joy,	                 Before	the	deployment                                  the	pre-deployment	period,	remember	that	it’s	             who are going through the same
relief,	and	anticipation.	Sometimes	you	may	                      When	you	first	learn	about	the	deployment,	            important	to:                                              experience. By participating in family
feel	a	combination	of	these	emotions	all	at	one	                  you’re	likely	to	see-saw	between	pretending	                                                                      briefs	and	organized	activities	within	the	
time.	                                                            that	the	deployment	isn’t	really	going	to	happen	                                                                 unit	you	can	find	comfort	in	sharing	your	
                                                                  (sometimes	called	“denial”)	and	starting	to	                                                                      experiences	and	begin	building	a	network	
                                                                  think	about	what	it	will	be	like	to	live	without	                                                                 of	support	during	the	deployment.
24 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                 25

During	the	deployment

Family	members	may	go	through	an	adjustment	                 •	   Try	to	find	things	to	look	forward	to.	             meal	that	your	serving	soldier	wouldn’t	            sources	of	information	when	your	serving	
period	in	the	first	weeks	after	their	serving	                    Take	a	class,	volunteer,	or	start	a	project	        necessarily	enjoy.	Plan	fun	outings	with	           soldier	has	been	deployed.
soldier	leaves.	                                                  you’ve	always	wanted	to	do.	Set	some	               the	children	during	free	time.	Make	time	to	
                                                                  personal	goals	for	yourself	during	the	             read	a	book	you’ve	wanted	to	read	or	visit	    •	   Learn some stress management
You	may	have	feelings	of	sadness,	depression,	                    deployment	period	and	make	a	point	of	be	           with	a	friend.                                      techniques that work for you.	The	
disorientation,	anxiety,	loneliness,	or	anger,	                   open	to	new	experiences	and	friendships.                                                                stress	of	living	without	your	serving	soldier	
or	combinations	of	those	feelings.	At	times	                                                                     •	   Try	to	concentrate	on	the	things	you	               can	take	a	toll	on	the	way	you	feel	and	
you	may	feel	overwhelmed.	Fortunately,	this	                 •	   Reach out to others who are in the                  can control. It’s	normal	to	worry	about	            think.	Try	out	some	different	ways	to	
feeling of being on an emotional roller coaster                   same situation.	Remember	that	you	                  your	serving	soldier	‘s	safety	during	a	            relieve	stress,	such	as	an	exercise	class,	
often	gives	way	to	a	growing	sense	of	self	                       aren’t	alone.	Plan	an	event	with	other	             deployment	or	about	when	he	or	she	will	            keeping	a	journal	of	your	thoughts	and	
confidence,	independence,	and	freedom.                            families	who	are	coping	with	a	deployment	          come	home,	but	remember,	these	are	                 feelings,	or	practicing	relaxation	or	deep	
                                                                  or	find	a	support	group	through	your	               things	you	can’t	control.	Try	to	focus	on	          breathing.
Here	are	some	suggestions	that	have	                              military	community.                                 things	that	you	can	control,	like	spending	
helped	others	cope	during	a	serving	soldier	                                                                          time	with	family	and	friends	or	signing	up	    •	   Seek support from your faith
deployment:                                                  •	   Don’t try to hide your feelings.	It’s	              for	a	course	or	volunteer	opportunity.              community	Many	people	find	comfort	
                                                                  normal	to	feel	sad,	lonely,	or	angry	when	                                                              and	solace	in	their	faith	communities	
                                                                  you’ve	been	separated	from	your	serving	       •	   Ignore rumours. The	military	may	not	               during	difficult	times.
                                                                  soldier.	You	don’t	have	to	hide	these	              be	able	to	give	detailed	information	about	
                                                                  feelings	--	that	may	just	make	it	harder	to	        the	whereabouts	and	activities	of	specific	    •	   Take	care	of	yourself.	Get	enough	sleep	
                                                                  deal	with	them.	Talk	about	how	you	feel	            units	during	a	deployment.	This	makes	for	          and	exercise,	eat	healthy	meals,	and	be	
                                                                  with	people	whom	you	trust.                         a	climate	where	it’s	easy	for	rumours	and	          sure	to	carry	a	bottle	of	water	with	you.	It	
                                                                                                                      gossip	to	get	started.	It	may	be	difficult	         can	be	easy	to	become	dehydrated	when	
                                                             •	   Do something special for yourself                   to	ignore	rumours	or	gossip,	but	you’ll	be	         you’re	preoccupied	and	under	stress.
                                                                  and your family.	Rent	a	film	or	cook	a	             much	better	off	if	you	do.	Rely	on	official	
26 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                  27

Homecoming	and	the	post-deployment	period                                                                                                                              Sources	of	Support

As	the	end	of	the	deployment	gets	nearer,	                   •	   Maintain a positive, non-judgmental                   and	patience	are	critical	to	the	process	of	   At	any	stage	in	the	emotional	cycle	of	
you	may	expeience	growing	excitement	and	                         attitude.There	may	be	uncomfortable	                  recovering	from	combat	experience	and	in	      deployment,	families	can	feel	overwhelmed	and	
anticipation,	as	well	as	apprehension.	You’ll	                    moments	as	you	and	your	service	member	               re-establishing	an	intimate	relationship.      unsure	about	their	ability	to	cope.	It’s	critical	
wonder	how	your	serving	soldier	has	changed,	                     get	reacquainted	and	begin	rebuilding	your	                                                          to	remember	that	asking	for	help	isn’t	a	sign	
knowing	that	you	have	changed,	too.	You	may	                      relationship.	The	right	attitude	will	help	to	   •	   Make plans.	Making	plans	together		            of	weakness	--	it’s	a	sign	that	you	care	about	
have	concerns	about	what	your	relationship	will	                  lower	stress	and	frustration	when	getting	            whether	it’s	for	a	weekend	outing	or	          yourself	and	your	family.	
be	like	after	you’ve	been	apart	for	so	long.                      back	together	doesn’t	seem	to	be	going	               something	more	elaborate	--	can	help	
The	post-deployment	period	can	last	from	                         the	way	you	expected.                                 you	focus	on	your	life	together	and	the	       Use	the	support	available	to	find	help	in	
a	few	weeks	to	several	months.	You	may	                                                                                 future.	Talking	together	about	dreams	and	     assessing	your	needs	if	you’re	still	having	
experience stress and frustration as you                     •	   Talk	openly	and	honestly	about	your	                  ideas	can	help	you	feel	closer.	It	can	also	   trouble	adjusting	after	a	few	months,	seek	
and	your	serving	soldier	renegotiate	your	                        experiences	during	the	deployment	                    help	reduce	anxiety	about	where	your	          professional	help.	
relationships	roles	and	responsibilities.	                        and how you’ve changed.	It	can	help	                  relationship	is	going.
                                                                  you	re-establish	a	foundation	of	healthy	                                                            There	are	many	organisations,	Service	and	
You	may	also	feel	confused	and	uncertain,	                        communication and encourage your                 •	   Children.	Don’t	overwhelm	children	with	       voluntary,	offering	advice,	assistance	and	
as	well	as	joyful,	as	you	work	with	your	                         service	member	to	trust	you	with	his	or	her	          expectations	of	rosy	reunions.	They	may	       financial	support	to	Servicemen	and	women,	
serving	soldier	to	reclaim	your	intimacy.	The	                    deployment	experiences.                               worry	about	their	role	in	the	drama.	If	       their	spouses	and	their	children.		Your	soldier’s	
reintegration process may be more complicated                                                                           anything,	play	it	down	somewhat.	Serving	      Unit	Welfare	Officer	or	(OCE)	your	nominated	
if	your	serving	soldier	is	having	finding	it	                •	   Try	to	be	patient. It may be some time                parents	:	Don’t	rush	at	your	children	and	     local	Army	Unit	Welfare	Officer	should	be	your	
difficultly	readjusting	after	the	deployment.	                    before you and your spouse feel relaxed               sweep	them	into	your	arms.	If	they	haven’t	    first	point	of	contact.		If	you	don’t	know	who	
                                                                  and	comfortable	together.	You	may	                    seen	you	for	months	they	will	easily	be	       this	is	ask	your	soldier	or	contact	the	AWIS	Tel:	
There	are	several	things	you	can	focus	on	to	                     have	to	modify	your	expectations	often	               frightened.	Be	casual	and	let	them	come	       01980	615975.	
reduce	stress.	Here	are	a	few	suggestions:                        during	the	post-deployment	period,	so	                to	you.	Take	your	time.
                                                                  it’s	important	to	keep	in	mind	that	time	                                                            Remember	Reunion	Is	a	Process…Not	An	
                                                                                                                                                                       Event…So…	Be	Realistic,	Go	Slow,	Share	
                                                                                                                                                                       Your	Expectations,	Stick	To	Your	Budget,	
                                                                                                                                                                       Communicate	and	Be	Open	To	Help.
28 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                              29

Keeping	in	Touch	
During	deployment,	communication	is	more	important	than	ever.		
Find the method that works best for you and your loved ones.

Social Networking Sites. Blogs and sites                         gain access to online, telephone or other       •	 Understand	and	apply	the	website	                      Posters available:
such	as	YouTube,	Flicker,	Facebook	and	Twitter	                  accounts using your account details.               security settings.                                     •	 What	you	say	could	make	his	day
offer	great	opportunities	to	share	information	                                                                  •	 Choose	your	online	friends	carefully	and	              •	 What	you	text	could	reach	him	next	
both	between	the	deployed,	their	families	and	               •	 Be	careful	about	disclosing	information	            be careful about what information you                  •	 Don’t	put	on	the	Net	what	you’ll	later	
the	support	groups	that	remain	behind.		If	                     about friends and colleagues. In particular         share with them.                                          regret
you	are	using	these	sites	is	really	important	to	               take care not to disclose personal               •	 Only	post	items	that	would	be	acceptable	              •	 Don’t	put	your	life	on	line
you apply some sensible security precautions                    information about your friends and                  to your family, friends or colleagues.
to	help	protect	yourself,	your	family	and	                      colleagues that they might want to keep          •	 Make	sure	photographs	don’t	give	away	
your	deployed	loved.		Remember,	journalists	                    private,	for	example	medical	or	family	             information you want to protect.
increasingly	using	the	internet	to	source	quotes,	              problems or forthcoming deployments.             •	 Do	not	give	out	unnecessary	information.	
pictures	and	stories	and	hostile	intelligence	                                                                      If	in	doubt	about	what’s	safe,	acceptable	
agencies.	Also	criminals	and	terrorists	use	                 •	 Help	maintain	operational	security	by	being	        or	report	a	potential	problem:	seek	advice	
the	internet	to	gather	information	in	order	to	                 careful	what	you	post	online.		Don’t	put	           from	a	trusted	friend,	colleague	or	your	unit	
conduct	their	business.	So	here	are	some	tips	                  operational	information	online.		Hostile	           welfare	officer.
to	consider:				                                                agencies or groups will be very intrested in
                                                                deployment details, equipment shortfalls,        A	number	of	posters	have	been	produced	to	
•	 Avoid	openly	publishing	personal	                            casualty details, morale and mission-            give	warning	and	guidance	and	are	available	via	
   information such as your full home                           specific	Information.	Don’t	let	your	post	       the	defence	intranet	for	units	to	access	locally	
   address and telephone numbers this kind                      help the enemy counter our operations,           using	Army	Deployment	Resources	Toolkit:	
   of information is always at a premium in                     putting lives at greater risk.         
   the criminal and espionage world.                                                                             Library/Army/BrowseDocumentCategories/
                                                             Here	are	some	simple	steps	you	can	take	to	         Personnel/WelfareAndFamilySupport/
•	 Do	not	give	your	account	details	to	third	                protect	yourself,	your	familiy	and	your	deployed	   ArmyDeploymentResourcesToolkit.htm
   parties.		Criminal	groups	may	also	try	to	                soldier	online:
30 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                            31

Forces Aerogrammes.			Also	known	as	
‘Blueys’,	these	are	a	way	of	sending	letters	and	
messages	FREE	to	your	soldier.		It	is	a	good	
idea	to	number	or	date	your	blueys,	so	that	you	
will	both	know	if	any	have	gone	astray.		Please	
note	that	you	should	never	put	anything	inside	
a	bluey,	or	it	will	be	treated	as	surface	mail	and	
take	ages	to	arrive!		Normal	delivery	time	is	4-6	           Let	him	or	her	know	about	daily	activities,	share	   and	aerosols/pressurised	containers	should	not	    (for operational reasons), specific operations
days.		Ask	in	your	local	Post	Office	or	unit	for	            family	news.		Send	local	newspaper	articles	of	      be	sent,	and	note	that	all	packages	are	x-rayed	   or just busy is unable to make a call. You
a	supply	of	blueys	for	you,	your	children	and	               interest.		Number	your	letters	because	delivery	     as	a	safeguard.	Check	the	BFPO	website	for	up	     may have agreed a set time arrangement and
family	to	use.		Blueys	can	be	obtained	free	from	            can	be	irregular.		                                  to	date	information	on	what	is	allowed:            it may have been working really well between
post	offices	and	can	be	posted	free	of	charge                                                                                               you, but just remember if they are late
                                                             Send	photos	or	the	children’s	artwork,	which	                                                           making a call this should not be a cause for
The	postal	addresses	should	be	obtained	from	                can	be	easily	carried	and	proudly	displayed.		       Enduring Families Free Mail Service                you to worry, the best advice is to carry your
your	soldier	and	it	should	include:                          Photographs	of	family	members	doing	everyday	        (EFFMS).		This	service	now	allows	friends	         mobile and ensure that your soldier knows
                                                             chores	and	activities	can	lessen	the	miles	          and	family	to	send	packages	of	up	to	2kg	          the number.
Number, Rank, Name                                           between	you.		Most	of	all,	write	often!              to	named	service	personnel	on	Operations	
Platoon or Department                                                                                             HERRICK	and	TELIC	for	free.	Visit	www.bfpo.        Please remember that it is unlikely that you
(Company/Squadron or Battery)                                Care	Packages.		These	are	like	sending	a	  	for	further	information.		                  will be able to phone your soldiers directly
Unit                                                         little	bit	of	home	to	your	loved	one.		Use	sturdy	
                                                                                                                                                                     whilst they are away on operations. So write
Operation NAME                                               containers and be careful about sending              Phone	Calls. Your soldier will normally get a      down the key points you want to discuss
BFPO Number                                                  perishable	goods	-	mail	can	take	longer	than	        welfare phone allowance of 30 mins per week        and organise, wherever possible, a time for
                                                             expected.		Safeguard	your	privacy	-	packages	        during the operation but please be aware that      calls to be received by you, ensuring that the
Letters. 	Letters	are	inexpensive	and	always	                are	often	opened	in	front	of	others.		               there may be times due to circumstances            children are not outside playing, making the
eagerly	received	and	they	can	be	re-read	during	                                                                  out of their control when your soldier, for
                                                             Don’t	send	anything	that	would	embarrass	you	                                                           most of the time available.
times	of	loneliness.		                                                                                            a variety of reasons, a large queue at the
                                                             or	your	loved	one	in	front	of	others.		Items	such	
Write	letters	as	if	you	are	talking	to	your	loved	one.	      as	alcohol,	tobacco,	toxic	or	flammable	items	       telephone, telephone system temporarily off
32 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                  33

Paradigm Additional top up cards can be                      BFBS, Garrison Radio.		The	Services	Sound	                                                                 Mobile	Phones
brought in theatre or topped up by you by                    and	Vision	Corporation	(SSVC)	provide	a	radio	
                                                                                                                                                                        It may be better not to rely on mobiles for
ringing the Paradigm contact centre Tel: +44                 and	TV	service	in	some	operational	theatres.		
                                                                                                                                                                        keeping	in	touch	because	their	use	can	be	
(0) 01438282121 (You will need a credit/debit                Requests	can	be	made	and	messages	passed	
                                                                                                                                                                        restricted	due	to	security	in	certain	areas.		
card and your soldiers Paradigm and Service                  by going to	and	a	short	video	
number). Website:                   showing	the	services	in	Iraq	and	Afghanistan	can	                                                          In	addition,	it	may	be	difficult	to	get	a	signal	
                                                             be	viewed	at:                                                           and	connections	cannot	be	guaranteed.		
Free	Voice	Messages.	Using	Land	Line	for	                    Information	on	Garrison	radio	and	requests	can	                                                            Any	calls	and	texts	are	likely	to	be	expensive.		
free – Ring the Paradim Service Tel: 0800                    be	found	at:
                                                                                                                                                                        If	you	do	use	a	mobile,	remember	they	are	not	
0510737 Voice Mail. Type your soldiers
                                                                                                                                                                        secure	so	be	careful	what	you	discuss.	
Paradim number using the land-line key pad,                  E-Blueys.		Sending	an	e-bluey	is	usually	much	
leave your message. The voice mail service                   faster	than	using	normal	mail.		Please	see	the	                                                            If	you	experience	any	unusual,	anonymous	or	
holds a number of messages in the system,                    next	section	for	instructions	on	e-blueys	–	once	                                                          nuisance	phone	calls	be	cautious	always	call	
these are then free for your soldier to pick up              you	have	registered,	it’s	an	easy	way	to	stay	in	           E-blueys	sent	from	overseas	to	the	UK	or	      the	UWO	or	the	police	and	report	anything	
when they have time.                                         touch.		                                                    other	BFPO	addressees	are	downloaded	          that	has	concerned	you	or	is	unusual	
                                                             •	 E-bluey	is	a	means	of	sending	a	letter,	                 and	printed,	then	posted	first	class.          (remember	this	may	be	the	work	of	a	foreign	
CDs/DVDs/Audio	and	Videocassettes.                              composed	on	a	computer,	to	someone	                                                                     intelligence	agency).
Children	and	loved	ones	want	to	see	where	the	                                                                       Worried	About	Internet	Costs?		Letters	can	
                                                                overseas.		It	is	much	quicker	than	sending	
soldier	is,	what	things	look	like	“over	there”.		                                                                    be	composed	off-line	using	MS	Word	or	a	similar	
                                                                a	hand-written	bluey,	and	is	completely	
The	soldier	wants	to	know	that	everyone	is	                                                                          word	processing	package,	then	copied	and	
                                                                private,	arriving	in	theatre	in	a	sealed	
happy	and	healthy.	CDs/DVDs/Audio	and	                                                                               pasted	into	the	system.		Alternatively,	you	can	
                                                                envelope.		You	will	need	a	PC	that	connects	
Videocassettes	are	a	great	way	to	share	                                                                             download	the	Offline	Composer	from	the	E-bluey	
                                                                to	the	internet	and	an	email	address.		(If	you	
thoughts	and	feelings,	and	can	be	replayed	over	                                                                     website,	so	you	only	need	to	connect	to	the	
                                                                do	not	have	your	own	email	address,	you	
and	over	again.                                                                                                      internet	when	you	are	ready	to	send	your	letter.
                                                                have	the	option	to	register	for	a	free	Yahoo	
                                                                email	account	during	the	set-up	procedure.)		        Don’t	Have	a	Computer	with	Internet	
E-mail.		E-mail	facilities	may	be	available	                    You	can	register	at                  Access?		Most	local	libraries	have	internet	
in	theatre	for	your	soldier	to	use.		Consider	
                                                             •	 The	e-bluey	combines	speed	and	privacy	              computers	that	can	be	used	either	free	or	at	
using	ArmyNET	for	your	emails	it	provides	a	
                                                                because	of	the	integrated	mail	printer	in	the	       minimal	cost.		You	could	also	seek	assistance	
safeguarded	e-mail	facility.
                                                                overseas	theatre.		It	prints,	folds	and	seals	all	   from	your	local	HIVE	which	provides	free	
                                                                e-blueys	without	anyone	seeing	the	content.		        internet	access.
34 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                  35

Rest	and	Recuperation	(R&R)                                  the	appropriate	number	of	days	are	added	to	the	
All	soldiers	deploying	for	six	months	will	normally	         individual’s	POL.	For	the	purposes	of	this	policy	
be	eligible	for	a	maximum	of	14	nights	R&R	                  any	delay	of	an	aircraft’s	scheduled	arrival	time	in	
inclusive	of	travelling	time.		Depending	on	the	             the	UK	of	more	that	12	hours	should	initiate	the	
situation	R&R	may	be	taken	in	or	as	close	to	                first	day	of	compensation.	Thereafter	additional	
theatre	as	possible	or	where	the	operational	                compensatory	leave	will	be	granted	on	a	day	for	a	
situations	permits,	and	with	endorsement	back	               day	basis.	Theatre	Commanders	are	reminded	of	
in	the	home	base.		                                          the	vital	role	R&R	plays	in	ensuring	Personnel	have	                                                        Soldiers:
                                                             an	effective	break	to	‘recharge	their	batteries’	in	        Advisory	Panel	(SIIAP)	that	you	should	have	    •	 Don’t	overdo	things,	or	try	and	cram	too	
Soldiers	will	be	asked	for	their	preferred	dates	for	        order	to	sustain	operational	effectiveness.		               adequate	travel	insurance	in	the	event	that	       many	activities	into	the	available	time.
R&R,	and	these	will	be	accommodated	where	
                                                                                                                         your	soldiers	R&R	dates	change	at	short	
possible,	subject	to	availability	of	seats	on	flights	       Remember	that	your	soldier	is	away	on	                                                                      •	 Try	to	respect	the	routine	that	your	family	
and	other	operational	factors.                               operations	where	uncertainty	and	change	are	                                                                   have	in	place	–	don’t	try	to	take	control	of	
                                                             normal	–	R&R	dates	are	subject	to	change	at	            •	 Don’t	make	plans	to	do	a	whistle-stop	tour	         the	house!
There	may	be	occasions	when	personnel	‘lose’	                short	notice.		Be	prepared	for	dates	to	change	            of	all	the	relations	–	the	soldier	may	just	
some	or	all	of	an	anticipated	period	of	R&R	as	              and	stay	flexible.		                                       want	to	do	nothing.                              •	 The	best	gift	that	you	could	bring	home	is	
a	result	of	changes	to	the	tactical	situation	or	                                                                                                                           to	spend	quality	time	with	your	family	and	
                                                             Having	to	rapidly	readjust	to	home	life	only	to	        •	 Keep	R&R	plans	flexible	–	just	do	what	you	
delays	to	the	strategic	airbridge.	Operational	                                                                                                                             friends.
                                                             have	to	say	goodbye	again	a	few	days	later	can	            feel	like	whilst	your	soldier	is	home.
imperatives	and	the	inherent	inflexibility	of	
the	R&R	programme	will	usually	mean	that	                    be	stressful.		Here	are	some	tips	to	consider:          •	 Remember	if	you	do	plan	on	going	away	           •	 REMEMBER:	When	you	return	to	theatre,	
an extension to compensate for days lost at                                                                             with	the	children	during	term	time	you	             even	after	only	2	weeks,	you	may	need	to	
the	beginning	of	an	R&R	period	will	prove	                   Family:                                                    should	ask	permission	from	their	head	              re-acclimatise	to	the	local	climate.
impractical.	In	circumstances	where	the	lost	                •	 Remember	that	the	14	nights	R&R	includes	               teacher	and	at	the	very	least,	do	let	the	
                                                                                                                                                                         •	 Your	loved	one	has	managed	without	you,	
days	of	R&R	is	as	a	result	of	Service	reasons,	                 travel	time	–	expect	your	soldier	to	be	home	           school	know	how	long	they	will	be	away.		
                                                                                                                                                                            praise	them	and	recognise	what	they	have	
the	requisite	number	of	lost	days	should	be	                    for	about	12	days.                                      The	school	has	discretion	and	may	refuse	
recorded	by	in	theatre	Unit	HR	staff	on	an	                                                                             permission	but	most	are	sympathetic	to	
                                                             •	 Try	to	chill	out,	relax,	and	just	enjoy	some	
individual’s	JPA	record.	Thereafter	on	return	                                                                          Service	needs	if	cited	as	‘special	reasons’.		
                                                                quiet	time	as	a	family.
from	operations,	Unit	HR	staff	should	check	                                                                            Additional	advice	should	be	sought	from	
the	status	of	the	individual’s	POL	and	lost	R&R	             •	 If	you	book	a	holiday	during	R&R	it	is	                 Children’s	Education	Advisory	Service	Tel:	
status.	Commanding	Officers	should	ensure	that	                 advised	by	Services	Insurance	&	Investment	             01980	618244.
36 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                       37

Deployment	Welfare	Package	                                  Looking	After	the	Family
This	provides	soldiers	on	eligible	operations	               Security                                               Shopping
with	a	few	‘home	comforts’,	such	as	TV,	                     The	responsibility	for	personal	safety	starts	with	    •	 Don’t	put	your	wallet/handbag	down	where	            •	 If	followed	home	do	not	get	out	of	the	car,	
video,	leisure	and	fitness	equipment	and	retail	             yourself	and	it	may	be	helpful	to	be	reminded	of	         it	can	be	easily	stolen.                                make	sure	the	doors	are	locked,	sound	
facilities.		On	a	six-month	tour,	it	normally	               some	of	the	facts	we	tend	to	take	for	granted.		       •	 Don’t	leave	your	wallet/purse	on	top	of	your	           the	horn	and	flash	your	lights	to	attract	
provides	for	soldiers	to	have:                               Remember	the	simple	rules	below	to	maximise	              shopping	bag	or	pram.                                   attention.
•	 Access	to	telephones	for	private	use                      your	safety.		                                         •	 Avoid	unlit	or	deserted	car	parks	or	areas.
•	 Welfare	telephone	allowance	of	30	minutes	                                                                       •	 Don’t	carry	excessive	amounts	of	money	in	           Telephones	and	the	Internet.		A	telephone	is	
   per	week                                                  When	out	alone                                            your	wallet/handbag	or	purse.                        not only a source of comfort but an important
•	 Blueys                                                    •	 Take	extra	care	when	out	alone	after	dark.				      •	 Do	not	carry	your	credit	cards	and	cheque	           element	of	security.		If	you	receive	anonymous	
•	 E-blueys                                                  •	 Always	be	alert	to	your	surroundings.                  book	in	the	same	place.	                             or	nuisance	phone	calls	always	call	the	police	or	
•	 Sky	TV                                                    •	 Avoid	short-cuts	and	dark	deserted	areas.		         •	 Remember;	first	protect	yourself	then	your	          your	UWO.		If	they	persist,	the	police	can	take	
•	 DVD	and	videos                                            •	 Walk	near	the	kerb	away	from	bushes	and	               belongings.                                          action.		As	a	precaution	do	not	discuss	Army	
•	 BFBS	TV	&	SSVC	Radio                                         buildings.		                                                                                                movement	plans	or	dates	on		public	internet	
•	 Rest	and	Recuperation	(R&R)                               •	 Walk	facing	the	traffic.		                          Travelling	by	car.		If	you	have	car	trouble,	find	      forums/chat	rooms	or	on	your	mobile	phone.	
•	 Post	Operational	Leave	(20	working	days	                  •	 Do	not	hitch	hike.		                                a	phone	and	call	for	help.		Don’t	accept	help	
   for	a	6	month	tour)                                       •	 Carry	a	torch	after	dark.		                         from	passing	motorists,	if	they	want	to	help	get	       Rumours and ‘Bad Press’.		There	will	be	no	
•	 Concessionary	Travel	for	Families	                        •	 To	avoid	delay	keep	your	keys	in	your	hand.         them	to	go	to	a	phone	for	you	and	call	for	help.		      shortage	of	rumours	and	sensational	media	
	 (Two	trips	per	6	month	tour)                                                                                      Whilst	waiting	with	your	car	don’t	sit	inside,	it	      coverage	of	incidents	both	at	home	and	about	
•	 Internet	facilities                                       When	at	home	alone                                     attracts	attention	to	your	plight.		Sit	next	to	your	   what	is	happening	where	your	soldier	is.		This	
•	 Newspapers                                                                                                       car	away	from	the	flow	of	traffic,	if	practical.	If	    is a common cause of upset and can lead to
                                                             •	 Secure	all	windows	and	doors.
                                                                                                                    not	sit	in	the	passenger	seat.                          distress.		Do	find	out	the	truth	by	speaking	to	
                                                             •	 Fit	and	use	a	door	chain	and	viewer.
                                                                                                                                                                            your	UWO	–	he	or	she	is	in	daily	contact	with	
                                                             •	 Ask	all	callers	to	show	their	ID,	and	make	         •	 Where	possible	always	travel	on	main	or	             the	unit	and	will	be	able	to	establish	if	your	
                                                                sure	you	examine	it	carefully.                         well-lit	roads.                                      fears	are	real	or	not.
                                                             •	 If	you	are	at	all	suspicious	then	call	the	local	   •	 Check	the	interior	of	your	car	before	
                                                                police	or	the	Royal	Military	Police,	it	does	          entering	especially	the	back	seat.
                                                                not	matter	if	it	turns	out	to	be	a	false	alarm.     •	 Park	in	well	lit	areas.
                                                                                                                    •	 Keep	valuables	out	of	sight.
38 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                              39

Going	away                                                                                                     Children
If	you	decide	to	go	away	for	a	length	of	time	               If	you	live	in	your	own	house	make	sure	your	     Tips	to	help	children	deal	with	deployment:
during	your	soldiers’	deployment	– make sure                 trusted	neighbours	or	friends	know	where	
you tell someone in the Army (either	your	                   you	are.                                          •	 Make sure children know they                         threaten	your	child	with	“wait	until	they	get	
UWO,	RMP	or	local	police)	particularly	if	your	                                                                   are loved.		Often,	young	children	see	               home!”		Its	hard	work	to	look	forward	to	the	
house	will	be	empty.		                                       If	you	don’t	know	who	to	notify,	contact	the	        themselves	as	the	cause	of	separation.		             return	of	someone	expected	to	punish	you.
                                                             Army	Welfare	Information	Service	whose	details	      They	may	feel	their	parent	is	going	away	
It	is	important	that	the	Army	has	reliable	                  are	at	the	beginning	of	this	guide.                  because	they	have	been	bad,	or	because	          •	 Let children help around the house. 	Ask	
information	on	how	to	contact	the	Emergency	                                                                      their	parent	doesn’t	love	them	anymore.		           children	which	chores	they	would	like	to	
Contact	(EC)	quickly	in	case	of	an	emergency.		              Further	advice	is	available	on	ArmyNET	under	        Make	sure	children	know	this	isn’t	the	case.		      do.		Let	children	know	they	are	making		
Sometimes	having	a	mobile	phone	number	is	                   Crime	Reduction                                                                       a	valuable	contribution.
NOT	enough	so	it	is	important	that	the	Army	                                                                   •	 Be truthful.		Many	children	can	sense	
                                                                                                                  when	they	are	being	lied	to.		Often	what	        •	 Maintain routines.	Regular	mealtimes	
knows	where	you	are	in	case	of	an	emergency	
                                                                                                                  they	imagine	is	worse	than	reality,	and	they	       and	bedtimes	can	help	children	feel	more	
involving	your	soldier.
                                                                                                                  may	worry	unnecessarily.		It	helps	to	talk	         secure.		Try	to	keep	the	same	family	
                                                                                                                  openly	and	honestly	about	separation.               rules	and	routines	that	were	used	before	
                                                                                                               •	 Share concerns.		Children	often	have	a	
                                                                                                                  hard	time	talking	about	their	feelings.		Let	    •	 Help children mark the passing of
                                                                                                                  children	know	it’s	OK	to	talk	about	their	          time.		Many	families	find	it	helpful	to	mark	
                                                                                                                  feelings	-	even	negative	feelings,	by	sharing	      off	the	days	on	a	calendar,	but	6	months	is	
                                                                                                                  your	own.                                           a	long	time!		Try	to	find	some	visual	way	to	
                                                                                                                                                                      let	children	count	the	days	until	their	parent	
                                                                                                               •	 Discipline consistently.		Don’t	let	                comes	home	-	perhaps	in	blocks	of	a	week	
                                                                                                                  separation	mean	free	rein.		But	don’t	              or	two,	leading	up	to	a	treat	or	trip.
40 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                    41

(including	emotional	health)                                                                                     Pregnancy
Maintaining	a	healthy	lifestyle	is	always	                   the	NHS,	one	in	eight	men	is	dependent	on	          Under	normal	circumstances	the	birth	of	a	child	      Keep	a	bag	of	essential	items	packed	–	not	
important	and	can	assist	as	part	of	your	overall	            alcohol)	and	anti-social	personality	disorders.	    is not regarded as a reason for your soldier          only	for	yourself	but	for	your	other	children,	
coping	strategy	during	any	deployment.		There	               If	you’re	worried	about	your	mental	health,	or	     to	return	home	from	operations	or	they	may	           too.		This	will	avoid	having	to	pack	pyjamas	
is	a	wealth	of	information	available	on	the	NHS	             if	someone	in	your	life	is	affected,	there	is	no	   not	be	able	to	return	from	operations	on	time.		      and	toothbrushes	in	the	middle	of	the	night	
Direct	Live	Well	website		covering	topics	such	              stigma	attached	to	seeking	support	and	there	       Instead	they	should	attempt	to	book	R&R	              between	labour	pains	or	with	broken	waters!
as	Alcohol,	Fitness	,Good	food	,Losing	weight	               are	plenty	of	ways	to	get	help	including	the	       around	the		expected	due	date.		
,	Pregnancy	,Sexual	health	and	Stopping	                     mental	health	section	of	the	NHS	Direct	Live	                                                             Unmarried	parents	should	be	aware	that	unless	
smoking.		If	you’re	worried	about	any	aspect	                                                                    In	view	of	this,	you	may	be	as	well	to	consider	a	    the	father	is	actually	present	at	the	time	of	
                                                             Well	website,	speaking	to	your	GP	or	one	of	
of	your,	or	any	of	your	childrens’	health,	seek	                                                                 second	choice	of	birth	partner,	just	in	case,	such	   registering	the	baby’s	birth	his	name	will	not	
                                                             the	mental	health	charities	such	as	Sane	or	the	
advice	from	your	GP.		You	may	also	find	it	                                                                      as	a	good	friend	or	relative.		Some	tips	are:         be	inserted	on	the	birth	certificate.		If	a	soldier	
                                                             Mental	Health	Foundation	(links	are	to	external	
helpful	to	know	that	mental	health	problems	                 sites).		For	more	web	based	information	go	to	                                                            is	away	on	deployment	this	can	be	added	at	
                                                                                                                 •	 Keep	a	note	of	all	your	emergency	contact	
are	equally	common	in	men	and	women,	but	          		                                                              a	later	date	when	he	returns.		Alternatively	
                                                                                                                    numbers	handy.
the	types	of	problems	differ.	Women	are	one-                 If	you	think	your	serving	soldier	has	a	mental	                                                           the	father	to	complete	an	Oath	Declaration	
and-a-half	times	more	likely	to	be	affected	                 health	problem	there	is	more	information	on	this	   •	 Have	a	plan	in	place	for	all	eventualities,	       available	from	and	this	can	
by	anxiety	and	depression,	while	men	suffer	                 topic	in	the	Homecoming	section	5.		                   such	as	a	friend	to	look	after	other	children	     be	attested	(signed	off	by	a	qualified	person	
more	from	substance	abuse	(according	to	                                                                            at	short	notice.                                   (normally	Major	or	above)	in	the	deployment	
                                                                                                                                                                       area	of	operations.		You	can	also	seek	advice	
                                                                                                                 •	 Even	if	you	drive,	you	may	find	it	useful	to	      from	the	Registrar	Office.
                                                                                                                    put	other	transport	arrangements	in	place,	
                                                                                                                    just	in	case.
42 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                       43

Debt                                                         Separation	Survival	Guide
If	you	have	difficulties	with	debt,	admitting	               The	Golden	Rule	-	Boredom	is	your	worst	                                                                      Alternatively,	why	not	book	a	course	–	local	
that	you	are	struggling	and	seeking	help	is	                 enemy. Keeping	busy	doing	whatever	makes	                                                                     colleges	have	many	courses	to	choose	from.		
an	important	first	step	towards	resolving	your	              you	feel	fulfilled	is	especially	important	during	                                                            If	you’ve	got	dreams	of	a	high-flying	career	
debt	problems.		                                             your	soldier’s	deployment.                                                                                    once	the	kids	are	older,	why	not	start	studying	
                                                                                                                                                                           towards	it	now	from	home?
Don’t	be	embarrassed	or	ashamed	to	disclose	                 Take	time	out	for	yourself.	Life	as	a	
                                                             temporary	single	parent	can	be	stressful,	                                                                    If the children get bored, they’ll drive you
all	your	debts	and	financial	difficulties	because	
                                                             so	it’s	important	to	try	to	unwind.		                                                                         bonkers.	Think	of	new	activities	for	the	children	
ignoring	the	problem	and	not	replying	to	
                                                                                                                                                                           to	try,	or	a	new	hobby	or	club	to	join.		Your	
correspondence	will	only	make	things	worse.		
                                                             Have a night out.	Getting	away	from	the	               Make the most of your 30 minutes talk                  local	library	can	provide	information	on	what	is	
Your	problems	will	not	go	away	without	specific	
                                                             children	for	a	night	out	painting	the	town	red	        time.	It’s	pointless	to	spend	time	arguing	about	      available	locally,	or	you	could	always	try	making	
remedial	action.		
                                                             is	great,	unless	you	suffer	from	hangovers	            daft	things,	as	it	just	makes	you	dread	the	next	      up	a	rota	of	household	chores,	or	making	cards	
                                                             the	following	morning.		Babysitting	can	be	a	          call	instead	of	looking	forward	to	it.	Focus	on	       or	a	family	newsletter	to	send	off	to	your	soldier.
Use	free	specialist	advice	(avoid	commercial	
                                                             problem,	so	it	may	be	worth	asking	your	family	        the	really	important	things,	and	count	to	ten	if	
debt	management	companies	that	you	see	                                                                                                                                    Plan something to look forward to.
                                                             or	friends	for	extra	support	during	this	time.         you	feel	like	blowing	your	top.
advertised	in	the	media).		Local	Citizens	Advice	                                                                                                                          Booking	a	holiday,	or	planning	some	family	
Bureau	(CAB)	and	Royal	British	Legion	(RBL)	                 Don’t feel that they have got it easy.                 If	you’re	STILL	angry	with	your	soldier….	             days	out	for	after	the	tour	helps	you	to	focus	on	
have	a	partnership	to	provide	money	and	                     Many	of	us	would	love	to	swap	jobs	with	our	           ....write	them	a	letter!		This	may	sound	really	       the	great	time	you’re	going	to	have	when	your	
benefit	advice	to	Service	personnel	and	their	               spouses	for	a	day	or	two,	just	to	see	them	            silly,	but	write	a	‘humdinger’	of	a	letter	and	tell	   soldier	gets	back.	BUT	be	aware	that	leave	and	
dependants.		CAB	website:	www.citizensadvice.                failing	to	cope	with	the	children,	the	school	runs,	   them	exactly	what	you	think	of	the	situation	no	       return	dates	may	change.	RBL	website: HIVE	            the	washing,	cooking	and	cleaning!		However,	          holds	barred.		Once	you’ve	got	it	all	down	on	         Get some help if you’re on a downer.
offer	signposting	advice,	AFF	have	a	DVD	                    life	for	those	on	operations	is	not	a	mixture	of	      paper,	you’ll	feel	as	if	you’ve	got	it	all	off	your	   If	that	fed-up	feeling	just	won’t	go	away,	speak	
available	and	the	Consumer	Credit	Counseling	                sunbathing	and	chilling	out	–	far	from	it.             chest,	and	feel	much	better	for	doing	so.		Now,	       to	your	GP	or	Health	Visitor	for	some	advice.		
Service	Debt	Helpline	(0800)	138	1111	also	has	                                                                     the	hard	bit	–	don’t	post	it,	destroy	it.	             There	are	loads	of	support	agencies,	such	as	
a	useful	website                              Life on deployment comes with it’s own
                                                                                                                                                                           the	Army	Welfare	Service	or	the	Confidential	
                                                             challenges.	Telling	your	soldier	how	cheesed	          Use	the	absence	constructively.
                                                                                                                                                                           Support	Line	that	you	can	talk	to;	all	are	
                                                             off	you	are	might	remove	the	weight	of	the	world	      Now	could	be	the	time	to	stop	putting	off	those	
                                                                                                                                                                           completely	confidential.
                                                             from	your	shoulders,	but	it’ll	have	the	opposite	      things	that	you	meant	to	achieve	ages	ago,	
                                                             effect	on	them.		It’ll	probably	leave	them	feeling	    and	still	haven’t	managed.		If	you	can’t	drive	
                                                             frustrated	that	they	can’t	be	there	to	help.           yet,	why	not	book	your	first	lesson	right	now?		
44 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                     45

                                                                                                                                                                        Children’s	Education	Advisory	Service.	
                                                                                                                                                                        Guidance	to	families	on	schools,	special	
                                                                                                                                                                        educational	needs	and	MOD	educational	
                                                                                                                                                                        allowances.		Tel	01980	618244.		Website	

                                                                                                                                                                        Confidential	Support	Line	(CSL).		The	CSL	
                                                                                                                                                                        is	a	free-phone	help-line	run	for	soldiers	and	
                                                                                                                                                                        their	families.	It	offers	totally	confidential,	non	
                                                                                                                                                                        judgmental,	guidance	to	the	Army	community,	
                                                                                                                                                                        from	anywhere	in	the	world.	The	line	operates	7	
                                                                                                                                                                        days	a	week	from	1030	to	2230	hrs	
                                                                                                                                                                        (local	UK	time).	
Supporting	other	Families	                                                                                         Armed	Forces	
during	difficult	times                                                                                             Sources	of	Support                                   Any	vulnerable	soldier	or	family	member	
                                                                                                                                                                        phoning	or	emailing	the	trained	civilian	support	
You	may	find	that	a	friend,	neighbour,	colleague	            Always	remember,	those	affected	normally	get	         ArmyNET.		The	British	Army’s	own	internet	           staff	of	the	CSL	receives	guidance	as	to	what	
or	family	member	has	experienced	bereavement	                lots of support immediately after a traumatic         portal.	Website                   their	options	are,	the	soldier/family	member	
or	has	a	soldier	with	a	serious	or	minor	injury.		           event,	but	that	sometimes	they	can	feel	at	their	
                                                                                                                                                                        must	then	make	their	own	decision	as	to	how	
                                                             most lonely and in need of compassion and             Army	Welfare	Service	(AWS).		The	AWS	
How	you	handle	this	will	depend	on	your	                                                                                                                                to	progress	the	issues	raised.	
                                                             support	in	the	months	and	years	that	follow.          provides	professional	and	confidential	welfare	
personal	relationship	with	those	most	affected.	                                                                                                                        Interpreting	facilities	exist	for	callers	whose	
                                                                                                                   support	for	Army	personnel	and	their	families	
You	may	find	the	following	advice	useful	in	such	            Who	you	can	turn	to	for	Help	                         wherever	they	are	located.		For	welfare	enquiries	   language	is	other	than	English.
                                                             Unit	Welfare	Office.		Your	soldier’s	UWO	or	          contact	The	Army	Welfare	Information	Service,	       The	CSL	may	be	contacted:
•	 Shock	affects	reason,	thinking	and	memory;	               your	nominated	local	Army	UWO	officer	should	         HQ	LAND,	Louisburg	Block,	Erskine	Barracks,	
                                                                                                                                                                        •	   From	UK	0800	731	4880	
   you	can	help	by	making		allowances	for	this.              be	your	first	point	of	contact.		If	you	don’t	know	   Wilton,	Salisbury	SP2	0AG.		Tel:	01722	436569		
                                                                                                                                                                        •	   From	Germany	0800	1827	395
•	 Silence	is	fine,	they	may	not	want	to	speak;	             who	this	is	ask	your	soldier	or	contact	the	Army	     Fax:	01722	436307	or	email:	awis@hqland.
                                                                                                                                                                        •	   From	Cyprus	800	91065
   you	can	just	be	there	for	them.                           Welfare	Service	for	advice.                 		Website
                                                                                                                                                                        •	   From	the	Falkland	Islands	#6111
•	 Allow	them	to	talk	and	really	listen.                     There	are	many	organisations,	service	and	                                                                 •	   From	anywhere	in	the	world+44[0]	1980	
•	 It	is	difficult	but	if	you	are	able	to,	try	not	          voluntary,	offering	advice,	assistance	and	           British	Forces	Post	Office	(BFPO).		Provides	             630854	and	the	support	staff	will	phone	
   to	avoid	anyone	who	finds	themselves	in	                  financial	support	to	Service	Personnel,	their	        a	postal	and	courier	service	for	the	Armed	               you	back.
   this	situation.	                                          spouses	and	their	children.                           Forces	Worldwide.	Website	          Website:	via
46 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                 47

Crime	Reduction	Unit.	The	Royal	Military	                    Defence Discount Brochure.		This	is	a	guide	                                                            Reserves	Training	and	Mobilisation	Centre	
Police	provide	crime	reduction	information	via	              produced	annually	that	offers	discounted	                                                               (RTMC).		Some	soldiers	are	posted	to	an	
the	ArmyNET	website.		This	Army	portal	will	                 services	to	Serving	personnel	and	their	                                                                operational	deployment	away	from		their	normal	
provide	access	a	wealth	of	information	regarding	            families	more	information	at	their	website	www.                                                         unit	as	individual	augmentees	on	what	is	called	
crime	reduction	and	personal	matters.	Website:	                                                                                   the	Operational	Commitments	Establishment.                                                                                                                                                       All	these	soldiers	carry	out	a	period	of	
                                                             Forces Additional Needs and Disability                                                                  pre-deployment	training	at	the	RTMC.		The	
Debt Advice.	Use	free	specialist	advice	(avoid	              Forum (FANDF).		FANDF	exists	with	support	          civilian	organisations.	HIVE	information	centres	   Unit	Welfare	Officer	at	RTMC	can	provide	
commercial	debt	management	companies	that	                   from	SSAFA-FH,	to	keep	Service	families	with	       can	give	you	practical	assistance	in	sending	       welfare	support	to	the	families	of	soldiers	during	
you	see	advertised	in	the	media).	HIVE	offer	                disabled and additional needs dependants            e-blueys	and	messaging	through	BFBS	and	in	         these	kind	of	deployments.		To	contact	the	
signposting	advice	and	the	Consumer	Credit	                  (children	and	adults)	in	touch	with	issues	that	    some	cases	free	internet	access.	HIVE	online	       Unit	Welfare	Officer	at	RTMC	freephone	0800	
Counselling	Service	Debt	Helpline	(0800)	138	                affect	them	both	inside	and	outside	of	Service	     can	be	found	at:                   2855533	or	visit	their	website	at	
1111	also	has	a	useful	website                life;	FANDF	produces	newsletters	and	holds	                                                   
                                                             meetings.		For	more	information	ring	the	fully	     MODern Housing Solutions.		For	Service	
Financial Advice Debt	can	be	a	significant	                  qualified	and	experienced	additional	needs	         Families	Accommodation	in	the	UK	routine	and	       Service	Children’s	Education	(SCE).		SCE	
source of stress which adds to the pressures                 advisor	who	is	able	to	provide	guidance	and	        emergencies	work	contact	the	following:             is	an	agency	of	the	MoD	and	is	dedicated	to	
of Military life. For one on one debt                        advice	on	any	disability	or	additional	needs	       •	 MODern	Housing	Solutions	for	England	            the	education	of	the	children	of	Service	families	
advice	individuals	can	contact	Legion	Line	                  matter.		Tel:	0102	4639234	or	Website:	                  and	Wales	Tel	0800	707	6000                    and	MOD	personnel	serving	outside	the	United	
08457725725	(UK)	or	0044	20	3207	2100	                                                 •	 Regional	Prime	Contract	for	Scotland	            Kingdom,	they	seek	to	provide	a	first	class	
(overseas).                                                                                                           Tel	0800	328	6337                              system	of	school	and	educational	support	
                                                             HIVE.		Army	HIVE			information	centres	                                                                 services.		The	aim	is	to	provide	effective	and	
Defence	Medical	Welfare	Services	(DMWS).                     provides	help,	information	and	signpost’s	you	      Pastoral	Care.		The	Royal	Army	Chaplains’	          efficient	education	service,	from	Foundation	Stage	
If	your	soldier	is	admitted	to	the	Royal	College	            to	professional	agencies.		Their	core	function	     Department	provides	spiritual		leadership,	moral	   through	to	sixth	form,	and	to	enable	children	to	
of	Defence	Medicine	at	Selly	Oak	Birmingham	                 is	the	provision	of	information	–	virtually	        guidance and pastoral support to soldiers and       benefit	from	their	residence	abroad.		If	you	wish	
or	a	Military	of	Defence	Hospital	Unit,	you	and	             anything	from	bus	times	to	“confidential	welfare	   their	families	irrespective	of	their	religion	or	   to	discuss	any	matters	affecting	your	child’s	
your	soldier	may	be	supported	by	the	Defence	                signposting”.	                                      belief.		To	contact	your	local	chaplain	or	padre	   education	during	a	deployment,	contact	your	
Medical	Welfare	Services.		Contact	details	                                                                      use	the	details	in	your	local	Service	Community	    Child’s	school	or	teacher.	SCE	Website:		
should	be	sought	through	your	UWO	or	the	                    This	means	that	although	they	can’t	sort	out	all	   guide	or	ask	at	the	HIVE.	                		Telephone	Numbers;		SCE	
Army	Welfare	Service.                                        your	problems	for	you,	HIVE	information	officers	                                                       Area	Offices:		Rhine	+49	(0)2161	472	8505	
                                                             can	point	you	towards	the	best	sources	of	                                                              Gütersloh	and	Osnabrück	+49	(0)521	9254	3541	
                                                             advice	and	assistance	across	both	military	and	                                                         or	visit	the	website	at

                                                                                                    Other	sources	of	help
                                                                                                                                                        raising	issues	that	are	causing	concerns,	with	
                                                                                                    ABF	The	Soldiers	Charity.		The	ABF	The	             the	chain	of	command.		Visit	the	AFF’s	website,	
                                                                                                    Soldiers	Charity	is	the	Army’s	leading	charity	     or	contact	them	on	Tel:	01980	615525	or	
                                                                                                    and	helps	fund	many	other	charities	and	            website
                                                                                                    organisations	that	operate	either	directly	
                                                                                                    or	indirectly	in	support	of	the	Army	family,	       Army	Widows	Association	(AWA).		The	aim	
                                                                                                    children,	the	elderly,	the	disabled	and	those	      is	to	offer	comfort,	support	and	friendship	to	
                                                                                                    seeking	employment.		It	works	in	partnership	       the	widows	and	widowers	of	Service	personnel	
                                                                                                    or	close	co-operation	with	Corps,	Regimental	       and	then	resolve	some	of	the	difficulties	they	
                                                                                                    Associations	and	charities	to	whom	it	is	           may	face	after	the	death	of	their	spouse.	www.
Service	Personnel	and	Veterans	Agency	            The	term	“veteran”	is	used	to	mean	all	those	                                               
                                                                                                    normally	best	to	direct	enquires	in	the	first	
(SPVA).		This	is	the	single	point	of	contact	     who	have	served	in	the	UK	Armed	Forces	and	
                                                                                                    instance.		It	has	provided	support	to	such	         Citizens	Advice	Bureau.	Every	Citizens	
within	the	Ministry	of	Defence	for	providing	     includes	their	widow(er)s	and	dependants.		
                                                                                                    organisations	as	the	AFF,	RELATE,	SSAFA-FH	         Advice	Bureau	is	a	registered	charity	reliant	on	
information	and	advice	on	personnel	              There	is	no	minimum	length	of	service	required	                                                       the	commitment	of	trained	volunteers	and	funds	
                                                                                                    and	makes	individual	grants	to	both	serving	and	
administration	pay,	allowances,	pensions	and	     and	there	is	no	requirement	to	have	been	on	                                                          to	provide	vital	services	for	local	communities.
                                                                                                    ex-Service	personnel.	Tel:	0207-591	2000	
compensation	for	serving	personnel,	veterans	     active	service	in	order	to	be	considered	a	                                                 
and	their	families.		                             veteran.	                                         Army	Dependants’	Trust.			The	aim	of	the	
                                                                                                                                                        Combat	Stress.		The	Ex-Services	Mental	
All	enquiries	about	Army	pay,	allowances	and	     Callers	to	the	Veterans	Helpline	can	receive	     Trust	is	to	provide	support	to	the	dependants	
                                                                                                                                                        Welfare	Society	specialises	in	the	welfare	of	ex-
pensions	matters	should	be	made	to	your	          advice	on	a	wide	range	of	subjects	such	as	       or	next	of	kin	of	a	deceased	member	in	the	
                                                                                                                                                        Service	personnel	who	suffer	from	psychiatric	
soldier’s	unit	admin	or	welfare	staff	in	the	     welfare	issues,	war	pensions,	Armed	Forces	       immediate	period	following	their	loss.		The	
                                                                                                                                                        disabilities	arising	from	military	service.		It	has	
first	instance.		Where	this	is	not	practicable	   Compensation	Scheme,	service	records,	            Army	Dependants’	Trust	is	not	an	insurance	
                                                                                                                                                        3	short	stay	treatment	centres	and	a	residential	
it	is	possible	to	contact	the	Joint	Personnel	    medals	and	military	graves.		Free	Helpline	       scheme	but	rather	a	charity	which	provides	
                                                                                                                                                        home.		Tel:	01372	841600		or	website: www.
Administration	Centre	-Enquiry	Centre	by	email	   0800	169	2277,	Textphone	0800	169	3458,	          discretionary	cash	grants.		Membership	is	by	
JSPC@SPVA.MOD.UK 	phone	0800	0853600	or	          Telephone	Number	(Overseas)	+44	(0)	1253	         annual	subscription,	and	will	run	from	the	day	
fax	on	0141224	3586	though	data	protection	       866043,	Email       of	joining	until	the	last	day	of	paid	service	in	   Connexions.		This	organisation	supports	
issues	will	affect	the	amount	of	personal	        website                      the	Army.		Tel:		01980	615734/615736	or	Mil:		      teenagers	13-19	yrs,	and	can	help	your	teen	
information	that	can	be	provided.                                                                   94344	5734/5736.                                    to	deal	with	all	sorts	of	problems.		Counselling	
                                                                                                                                                        can	also	be	arranged	through	Connexions	if	
                                                                                                    Army Families Federation (AFF). 	The	AFF	           necessary.		Tel:	0808	0013219		Website	www.
                                                                                                    exists	to	make	life	better	for	Army	families,	by
50 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                         51

Cruse.		Cruse	Bereavement	Care	exists	to	                    Your	General	Practitioner	or	Health	Visitor.	          PAX. 	PAX	has	been	the	major	provider	of	                groups	from	the	oldest	to	the	very	young.	Tel:	
promote	the	well-being	of	bereaved	people	                   Both	your	local	general	practitioner	and	              Personal	Accident	Insurance	to	HM	Regular	               08457	725	725	Website
and	to	enable	anyone	bereaved	by	death	to	                   health	visitor	will	provide	support	and	advice,	       Armed	Forces	since	1989	and	almost	58,000	
understand	their	grief	and	cope	with	their	loss.		           particularly	concerning	younger	children’s	well-       members	are	currently	protected	by	the	Plan	-	           Samaritans. The	Samaritans	provide	
The	organisation	provides	support	and	offers	                being.		Contact	detail	through	your	GP	or	local	       that’s	around	one	in	four	of	all	regular	Service	        confidential	non-judgmental	emotional	support	
information,	advice,	education	and	training	                 telephone	directory.                                   personnel.			For	further	information	and	details	        24	hours	a	day	for	people	who	are	experiencing	
services.		Day	by	Day	Helpline	0844	477	9400		                                                                      of	the	monthly	premiums,	please	contact	                 feelings	of	distress	or	despair	including	those	
There	is	a	information	link	on	the	website	Help	             Homestart. 	Homestart	is	a	national	voluntary	         them	as	follows:		PAX	customers’	service	                which	could	lead	to	suicide.	Tel:	0845	909090	
for	bereaved	military	families.				                          organisation	that	offers	support,	friendship	and	      contact	details	Phone:	0800212480	(from	the	                                     practical	help	to	young	families	under	stress	in	      UK)	+44	(0)	20	8662	8126	(from	overseas)	
                                                             their	own	homes.	Contact	details	can	be	found	         Email:	website:	www.          Service Life Insurance.		Sterling	Life,	in	close	
Financial Services Authority (FSA). The	                     in	local	telephone	directory.		Tel:	0800	0686368                                       association	with	the	MOD,	has	launched	a	
FSA	is	the	UK’s	financial	watchdog	set	up	by	                Website:                                                                                   new	life	insurance	scheme	aimed	exclusively	at	
the	government	to	regulate	financial	services	                                                                      Relate.		Relate	offers	counselling	for	relationship	     Service	personnel	-	Service	Life	Insurance	(SLI).		
and	protect	your	rights.		This	means	they	set	               Home	Calls.	provide	a	daily	telephone	check,	          problems,	either	face-to-face	or	on	the	phone.		         SLI	guarantees	affordable	cover,	including	
standards	that	financial	services	firms	have	                to	ensure	that	older	or	dependant	members	of	a	        Relate	also	offers	Relateen,	which	is	counselling	       against	risks	of	war	and	terrorism,	throughout	
to	meet	and	take	action	if	they	don’t.		The	                 family	are	safe	and	well	whilst	living	in	their	own	   for	children	aged	10-16.		Tel:	0845	1304016	             the	years	of	Service	and	seamlessly	beyond,	
FSA	don’t	sell	anything	all	their	information	is	            home,	those	who	are	care	providers	may	find	this	      Website	In	Northern	Ireland	           up	to	age	65.	It	is	available	now	to	all	Service	
impartial	and	clear,	they	have	a	website	which	              a	useful	aid.                    contact	Staffcare	who	provide	secure	and	                personnel	(both	Regulars	and	Reserves).	
has	information	about	financial	products	and	                                                                       confidential	relationship	counselling	for	individuals	
                                                                                                                                                                             Cover	is	available	irrespective	of	likelihood	of	
services	to	help	make	money	matters	clearer	                 National	Association	of	Widows.		The	                  and	couples.	Tel:	028	9226	6008.
                                                                                                                                                                             operational	deployment.	There	are	few	specified	
for	you	with	downloadable	booklets	and	                      National	Association	of	Widows	is	run	by	the	
                                                                                                                                                                             exclusions	and	no	extra	costs	for	high-risk	
internet	based	calculators	to	help	you	take	a	               widowed	for	the	widowed	-	men	and	women.		             Royal British Legion (RBL).	The	RBL	is	the	
                                                                                                                                                                             trades.	Premiums	are	comparable	to	those	
debt	test	and	compare	products,	mortgages,	                  They	offer	support,	friendship	and	understanding	      UK’s	leading	charity	safeguarding	the	welfare,	
                                                                                                                                                                             offered	to	civilians.		More	detail	is	available	at	
budget	plans	all	for	free.	                                  to	those	who	have	lost	their	partners	through	         interests	and	memory	of	those	who	have	served	
                                                                                                                                                                             Tel:	+44	(0)	208334	1557	Website                                              in	the	Armed	Forces	and	their	dependants.		It	
                                                                                                                    provides	financial,	social	and	emotional	support	
                                                                                                                    to	millions	and	its	benevolence	spans	all	age	
52 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                      53

Services Insurance & Investment Advisory                     age	or	condition.		SSAFA-FH	is	committed	to	
Panel (SIIAP). This	is	an	advisory	panel	                    helping	anyone	who	has	served	just	one	paid	
of regulated insurance and independent                       day	in	any	of	our	Armed	Forces,	including	the	
investment	advisers.		They	all	specialise	in	                Reserves	and	those	who	did	National	Service	-	
offering	services	to	members	of	HM	Forces	                   and	their	dependants,	including	their	husbands	
and	regulated	by	the	appropriate	authority	                  or	wives,	civil	partners	or	partners,	children,	
in	the	United	Kingdom,	therefore	offering	full	              widows	and	widowers.		It	provides	financial	
compensation	rights	to	clients	whether	serving	              assistance	and	debt	advice	but	also	offers	
overseas	or	in	the	UK.		                                     practical	as	well	as	financial	support.		

By	purchasing	an	insurance	or	financial	product	             SSAFA-FH	have	set	up	four	support	groups:	
from	SIIAP	member,	customers	have	the	peace	                 Bereaved	Families	Support	Group,	Bereaved	
of	mind	that	they	are	dealing	with	a	competent	              Siblings	Support	Group,	Forces	Additional	
organisation	who	has	made	all	the	necessary	                 Needs	and	Disability	Forum,	Families	of	Injured	
arrangements	to	look	after	their	interests	–	                Service	Personnel	Support	Group.		For	many	
whether	they	are	based	in	the	UK	or	anywhere	                it	is	a	friendly	face	in	a	new	community,	a	
else	in	the	world.		For	more	information	on	                 shoulder	to	cry	on	when	times	are	hard,	a	
a	wide	range	of	companies	and	products	                      listening	service	for	those	in	need			
designed	with	Service	personnel	and	their	                   Tel	020	740	38783,	Email:
families	in	mind	check	out	their	website:		                  Website
                                                             Victim	Support.		
Soldiers’, Sailors’ and Airmen’s Families’                   Victim	Support	is	the	independent	charity	which	
Association – Forces Help (SSAFA-FH).                        helps	people	cope	with	the	effects	of	crime.		
SSAFA-FH	is	the	national	charity	helping	serving	            They	provide	free	and	confidential	support	and	
and	ex-Service	men,	women	and	their	families	                information	to	help	you	deal	your	experience.		
in	need.	It	is	committed	to	helping	people	in	               As	the	laws	and	systems	affecting	victims	and	
need,	suffering	or	in	distress,	regardless	of	               witnesses	differ	across	the	UK	and	Ireland,	
                                                             there	are	separate	Victim	Support	links	on	the	
54 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                   55

Section	4

The most important thing to remember is that if something serious
happens to your soldier on deployment the Army will normally tell
you in person and as soon as possible.

Help	is	also	available	via	JCCC	for	those	
spouses	or	civil	partners	on	accompanied	tours	
overseas	to	return	to	the	UK.		If	you	have	a	
concern,	get	in	touch	with	your	nominated	Unit	
Welfare	Officer.
                                                             Part	1:
This	section	covers	two	types	of	emergency	
procedures,	for	which	tried	and	tested	systems	              Casualty Procedures
are	in	place.	                                               Joint	Casualty	and	Compassionate	Centre	           The	JCCC	is	also	responsible	for	authorising	    Dangerously ill - Forwarding of Relatives
                                                             (JCCC).	The	JCCC	is	primarily	responsible	for	     Compassionate	Leave	Travel	from	overseas	        (DILFOR).		The	JCCC	will	authorise	and	in	the	
•	 The	first	part	has	information	on	what	
                                                             monitoring and actioning certain procedures        for	Service	personnel,	their	dependants	         case	of	travel	overseas	make	arrangements	
   happens	if	a	soldier	is	injured	during	the	
                                                             for	Army	personnel	if	they	become	notifiable	      based	overseas,	and	mobilised	Reservists	        for	DILFOR	travel	and	also	provides	cost	
   deployment,	including	how	the	member	of	
                                                             casualties	(see	‘frequently	asked	questions’),	    and	Territorial	Army.		The	Joint	Casualty	and	   accommodation including feeding at public
   the	family	(called	an	Emergency	Contact	-	
                                                             both	in	the	UK	and	overseas,	and	also	for	their	   Compassionate	Centre	is	located	at	Service	      expense	where	authorised	for	periods	up	to	
   the	person	they	wish	to	be	notified	in	the	
                                                             dependants	overseas.		These	roles	ensure	that	     Personnel	and	Veterans	Agency	(SPVA),	RAF	       two	weeks	at	a	time.		This	allows	two	people	to	
   event	of	them	becoming	a	listed	casualty	or	
                                                             the	nominated	Emergency	Contact	is	notified	       Innsworth,	Imjin	Barracks,	Gloucester,	GL3	      be	moved	at	public	expense	to	visit	a	Service	
   of	their	involvement	in	an	incident	of	public	
                                                             appropriately	and	as	quickly	as	possible	should	   1HW.		It	is	manned	24	hours	a	day	365	days	      person	at	their	bedside	if	they	are	listed	as	Very	
   interest)	are	kept	informed	and	supported.		
                                                             an	individual	become	a	notifiable	casualty.		      per	year.		JCCC	Tel:		(0044)	01452		519951.      Seriously	Ill	(VSI)	,	Seriously	Ill	(SI),	Incapacitating	
•	 The	second	part	covers	what	you	need	to	do	               Notification	is	carried	out	by	a	Casualty	                                                          Illness/Injury	(III)	and	the	medical	authorities	
   if	you	require	your	soldier	to	be	sent	home	              Notification	Officer	(CNO).                                                                         have	recommended	such	a	visit.	In	some	
   because	of	a	serious	family	emergency,	                                                                                                                       instances	DILFOR	might	also	be	authorised	for	
   illness,	compassionate	leave	and	travel.                                                                                                                      Unlisted	(UL)	if	medically	recommended.	
56 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                                        57

Part	2:                                                      To	avoid	delays,	contact	should	be	made	with	                       partnership,	children	outside	marriage	                      •	 When	a	serving	person’s	presence	is	the	
                                                             the	JCCC	first,	contacting	your	soldier	may	                        providing	they	are	the	child	of	the	                            only	means	of	preventing	the	break	up	of	
Compassionate	Leave	                                         lead	to	delay	because	they	or	their	unit	will	                      serving	person	(not	children	by	another	                        his	or	her	immediate	family.		Under	these	
and	Travel	                                                  then	have	to	contact	the	JCCC	in	order	for	the	                     relationship)	and	where	the	serving	                            circumstances,	a	great	deal	of	care	should	
                                                             appropriate	investigations	to	be	carried	out.		                     person	provides	permanent	financial	                            be	taken	and	specialist	assistance	in	
If	there	is	a	requirement	for	a	soldier	serving	
                                                             When	you	telephone	the	JCCC	you	will	be	                            support	and/or	the	permanence	of	the	                           assessing	the	need	should	be	sought.	For	
overseas	to	return	to	the	UK	for	compassionate	
                                                             asked	to	provide	the	following	information	of	                      relationship	can	be	supported	by	the	                           example,	there	may	well	be	cases	where	
reasons,	for	example	if	a	close	relative	becomes	
                                                             the	service	person:	                                                CO	of	a	unit.                                                   the	break	up	of	the	family	is	inevitable,	
very	seriously	ill	(normally	life	threatening)	
                                                                                                                                                                                                 has	been	an	issue	for	some	considerable	
or	dies,	then	it	is	the	role	of	the	JCCC	to	                 •	 Number,	Rank	and	Name.	                                    -	    Siblings.	
                                                                                                                                                                                                 time,	or	where	the	return	of	the	individual	
investigate	the	circumstances	and	make	a	                                                                                  -	    Legal	guardians	or	grandparents	who	
                                                             •	 Unit	and	address	of	Service	person.                                                                                              to	the	family	home	will	not	contribute	to	the	
recommendation	as	to	whether	compassionate	                                                                                      have	acted	in	loco	parentis,	which	                             resolution	of	the	problem.
travel	should	be	granted.	                                   •	 Name	and	telephone	number	of	doctor	or	                          means	the	legal	responsibility	of	a	
                                                                hospital	(if	applicable)	who	are	treating	the	                   person to act in place of a parent and                       •	 Where	the	care	of	young	children	can	only	
When	a	soldier	is	on	operational	duties	                        subject	of	the	compassionate	request.                            assume	parental	rights	and	duties	for	                          be	provided	satisfactorily	by	the	serving	
overseas,	any	requests	for	them	to	be	                                                                                           a	minor,	and	where	this	can	be	shown	
                                                             •	 The	details	of	the	person	very	seriously	ill	                                                                                    person’s	presence.
allowed	home	on	compassionate	grounds	                                                                                           to	have	been	in	effect	for	a	significant	
                                                                (normally	life	threatening)	or	who	has	died.
MUST	go	through	the	JCCC	rather	than	the	                                                                                        period	of	time.		                                            •	 When	the	death	of	an	‘In	Scope’2	relative	is	
Unit	Welfare	Office.		
                                                             •	 Note	that	compassionate	travel	may	be	                     -	    For	all	other	relatives	a	message	only	                         imminent.		In	these	cases,	every	endeavour	
                                                                authorised	for	the	following:	                                   will	be	passed	to	the	unit.                                     is	to	be	made	to	enable	the	serving	person	
Should	circumstances	arise	which	make	it	
                                                                                                                                                                                                 to	arrive	before	the	death.
necessary for you to apply for your soldier                      -	   Parents	including	step-parents,		            Compassionate	leave	may	also	be	granted	in	
to	be	returned	to	the	UK	from	overseas	on	                            spouse	or	partner	(including	former		        the	following	circumstances:	                                              •	 When	an	‘In	Scope’	relative	is	very	
compassionate	grounds	you	should	telephone	                           relationships,	if	their	condition	affects	                                                                                 seriously	ill,	provided	that	the	serving	
the	JCCC	on	+	44	(0)	1452	519951.		This	                              the	welfare	of	any	children	from	that	       •	 When	the	spouse	or	‘entitled’	partner,	child	                              person	will	be	of	practical	help	and	that	
telephone	number	is	manned	24hrs	a	day	                               relationship).	                                 or	where	an	entitled	parent	of	a	serving	                                  there	is	no	other	appropriate	relative	who	is	
every	day	of	the	year.	                                                                                               person		is	very	seriously	ill	or	has	died.	In	                             available	to	help.
                                                                 -	   Children	including	step-children	               the	case	of	death,	every	endeavour	will	be	
                                                                      of	current	marriage	or	‘entitled’	              made	to	enable	the	serving	person	to	arrive	
                                                                                                                      in	time	for	the	funeral.
                                                                                                                       ‘In	Scope’	relative	refers	to	spouse	or	entitled	partner,	child	or	where	entitled;	parent.
58 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                                                       59

Frequently	asked	questions                                   •	 Incapacitating	Illness/Injury	(III).                  What	Do	You	Mean	By                                                    	    partnership	has	undergone	dissolution	it	
                                                                Incapacitating	Injury/Illness.	Any	illness	or	        “Emergency	Contact	(EC)”?                                                   will	be	their	eldest	child,	a	parent,	sibling,	
Will	the	JCCC	be	sympathetic?                                   injury	(including	battle	casualties)	which	                                                                                       or	other	relative,	or	if	they	have	no	living	
It	will	consider	each	case	very	carefully	and	                                                                        •	 Service	personnel	are	required	to	give	
                                                                does	not	warrant	classification	of	VSI	                                                                                           relatives,	it	may	be	a	friend.		
investigate	and	verify	each	one.		Only	after	that	                                                                       details	of	the	person	they	wish	to	be	
                                                                or	SI	but	where	there	is	a	reasonable	
will	they	make	the	necessary	recommendation	                                                                             notified	in	the	event	of	them	becoming	a	
                                                                expectation	that	their	hospitalisation	will	                                                                                      If	a	Service	person	dies,	their	NOK	
for	travel	and	subsequently	inform	the	Service	                                                                          listed	casualty	or	of	their	involvement	in	an	
                                                                exceed	72	hours	(with	effect	from	date	and	                                                                                       has	certain	rights	regarding	funeral	
person’s	unit	overseas.	                                                                                                 incident	of	public	interest.	
                                                                time	of	admission	or	that	their                                                                                                   arrangements	and	inheritance	(unless	
                                                             		 injury	renders	them	physically	or	mentally	                                                                                       specifically	excluded	in	a	legal	document	
What	is	a	Notifiable	Casualty?                                                                                        •	 It	should	be	stressed	that	the	person	
                                                                unable	to	communicate	with	NOK.                                                                                                   such	as	a	will).		Consequently,	the	MOD	
The	JCCC	has	a	system	that	categorises	                                                                                  nominated	is	not	necessarily	the	legal	next-
                                                                                                                                                                                                  is	obliged	to	inform	the	NOK	of	a	Service	
casualties	depending	on	the	nature	of	their	                                                                             of-kin	and	that	being	nominated	as	an	EC	
                                                             •	 Seriously Ill (SI).		The	category	of	Sl	is	                                                                                       person’s	death	or	if	they	are	missing.		
illness	or	injury,	and	uses	the	word	‘notifiable’	                                                                       does	not	give	the	person	any	legal	rights.	
                                                                applied	to	an	individual	whose	illness	or	                                                                                   	    In	the	event	of	death	it	is	generally	the	NOK	
to	ensure	that	the	casualty’s	Emergency	
                                                                injury	is	of	such	severity	that	there	is	cause	                                                                                   who	will	be	the	focus	of	the	support	and		
Contact	(EC)	is	notified	as	quickly	and	                                                                              •	 Initial	notification	of	the	casualty	incident	
                                                                for	immediate	concern	but	there	is	no	                                                                                            assistance	provided	by	the	MOD.
accurately	and	possible.		                                                                                               is	made	to	the	person	recorded	as	the	
                                                                imminent	danger	to	life.
The	categories	used	are	defined	as:                                                                                      notifiable	EC	(as	above)	on	the	Service	
                                                                                                                                                                                             •	 Whilst	a	partner/fiancée	can	be	the	
                                                                                                                         person’s	EC	record	but	all	other	matters,	
•	 Unlisted	(UL).		Unlisted	is	applied	to	an	                •	 Very	Seriously	Ill	(VSI).	The	category	                                                                                         emergency	contact,	other	than	where	
                                                                                                                         including funeral arrangements may be
   individual	whose	illness	or	injury	requires	                 of	VSl	is	applied	to	an	individual	whose	                                                                                       partners	of	the	same	sex	have	undergone	
                                                                                                                         the	subject	of	a	will	or	the	wishes	of	the	
   hospitalisation	but	whose	condition	does	                    illness	or	injury	is	of	such	severity	that	life	is	                                                                          	 a	civil	partnership	ceremony,	they	are	not	
                                                                                                                         legal	next-of-kin.
   not	fall	into	the	categories	below.	The	                     imminently endangered                                                                                                           the	NOK.
   responsibility for notifying EC of personnel
                                                                                                                      Who	is	the	Next	of	Kin	(NOK)?	4
   within	this	category	rests	with	the	individual	           •	 Death. Death	has	to	be	verified	by	a	                                                                                        •	 An	estranged	spouse	remains	the	NOK	until	
   and	his	unit,	not	the	JCCC,	and	in	most	                     Medical	Officer/Doctor	and	again	the	                 •	 An	individual	cannot	choose	their	NOK.                                 a	divorce	is	finalised	by	decree	absolute	or	
   cases	a	telephone	call	will	suffice.                         JCCC	has	both	a	monitoring	and	action	                	 It	is	determined	in	the	following	order.	If	                            in	the	case	of	a	civil	partnership	dissolution	
                                                                role.		In	matters	of	death	the	JCCC	has	                 married,	civil	partner	or	separated	(but	not	                          has	taken	place		
•	 Missing.		Missing	is	a	general	category	                     the	additional	role	of	ensuring	appropriate	             divorced	or	in	the	case	of	a	civil	partnership	
   of	which	there	are	several	variations	e.g.	                  advice	and	assistance	is	given	to	the	family,	           undergone	dissolution),	this	will	be	their	                         •	 Service	Personnel	must	list	their	NOK	on	
   Detained	Against	Will.		It	does	not,	however,	               particularly	regarding	the	funeral	but	also	             spouse/civil	partner.		If	single,	a	widow,	                            JPA	if	this	person	is	different	from	the	EC	
   include	illegal	absence.                                     that	they	are	provided	with	the	appropriate	             widower,	divorcee	or	where	the	civil	                                  or	ADD	EC
                                                                advice	and	aftercare.                                 4
                                                                                                                       .	Next	of	Kin	(NOK).	All	Service	persons	are	requested	to	provide	details	oftheir	NOK.	If	married	or	separated	(but	not	divorced),	
                                                                                                                      this	will	be	their	spouse/civil	partner.If	single,	a	widow,	widower	or	divorcee	it	will	be	their	eldest	child,	a	parent,	sibling,	or	
                                                                                                                      otherrelative,	or	if	they	have	no	living	relatives,	it	may	be	a	friend.	If	a	Service	person	dies,	theirNOK	has	certain	rights	regarding	
                                                                                                                      funeral	arrangements	and	inheritance	(unless	specificallyexcluded	in	a	legal	document	such	as	a	will).	Consequently,	the	MoD	is	
                                                                                                                      obliged	to	informthe	NOK	of	a	Service	person’s	death	or	if	they	are	missing.	In	the	event	of	death	it	isgenerally	the	NOK	who	will	be	
                                                                                                                      the	focus	of	the	support	and	assistance	provided	by	theMoD.
60 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                     61

What	is	an	Additional	EC?                                        There	may	be	times	when	this	is	not	possible	        areas	of	concern,	callimg	on	subject	matter	       •	 Units	are	required	to	prioritise	their	wounded,	
                                                                 and	in	those	circumstances	a	request	                experts	as	necessary.                                 injured	and	sick	personnel	and	apply	for	their	
An	additional	EC	is	someone	the	Service	person	                  will	be	made	to	the	Divisional	or	Brigade	                                                                 transfer	to	a	Personnel	Recovery	Unit	via	
nominates	to	be	notified	in	addition	to	or	instead	              Headquarters	nearest	to	where	the	EC	and/        Self Kinforming.                                          their	higher	Headquarters	at	the	appropriate	
of	the	EC.		An	additional	nominee	should	only	be	                or	additional	EC	reside	to	appoint	a	CNO.        •	 Casualties,	who	are	based	overseas	and	                time.		Once	assigned	to	a	Personnel	
notified	of	a	casualty	instead	of	the	EC	when:
                                                                                                                      categorised	as	UL	only	and	are	sufficiently	          Recovery	Unit,	the	soldier	will	be	allocated	
                                                             •	 If	there	are	no	Army	Units	within	a	                  compos	mentis	to	deliver	bad	news,	may	               a	dedicated	Personnel	Recovery	Officer.		As	
•	 The	Service	person	considers	direct	                         reasonable	travelling	distance	of	the	EC	             wish	to	personally	notify	their	nominated	            soon	as	practicable	he/she	is	likely	to	attend	
   notification	to	the	EC	could	have	serious	                   or	immediate	notification	is	required,	a	             EC/NOK	of	their	condition.	Hospital	staffs	           an	assessment	course,	during	which	a	
   consequences	and	arranges	for	the	                           request	may	be	made	to	the	nearest	Royal	             will	authorise	and	supervise	the	telephone	           comprehensive	Individual	Recovery	Plan	will	
   additional	nominee	to	bear	the	responsibility.	              Navy,	Royal	Air	Force	or	Royal	Marines	               call.		When	self	kinforming	is	permitted	for	         be	formulated,	focused	at	the	soldiers	likely	
   This	may	happen,	for	example,	when	the	                      establishment	to	appoint	a	CNO.	                      operational	casualties,	a	follow-up	call	to	the	      outcome	–	returning	to	duty	or	transitioning	
   nominated	EC	is	elderly	or	infirm	and	bad	
                                                                                                                      EC/NOK	will	be	made	by	a	member	of	the	               to	civilian	life.		The	Personnel	Recovery	Unit	
   news	could	contribute	to	a	deterioration	of	              •	 In	some	circumstances	the	civilian	police	            unit	Rear	Operations	Group.                           will	remain	responsible	for	coordinating	all	
   their	physical	or	mental	state.	                             may	undertake	notification.                                                                                 activities	along	the	soldier’s	recovery	pathway	
                                                                                                                  What	is	the	Army	Recovery	Capability	(ARC)?               in	conjunction	with	a	variety	of	supporting	
•	 The	nominated	EC	is	a	minor.                              •	 The	CNO	will	arrange	visits	to	hospital	for	                                                                military	and	civilian	agencies.										
                                                                the	EC	plus	one	other	if	the	casualty	is	         •	 The	Army	Recovery	capability	has	been	
What	is	a	Casualty	Notification	Officer?                        listed	VSI	and	a	visit	is	recomended	by	the	         created to command and care seriously               •	 Personnel	Recovery	Officers	are	remitted	to	
•	 When	a	Soldier	becomes	a	notifiable	                         medical	authority                                    wounded,	injured	and	sick	personnel.		                 form	and	maintain	close	relationships	with	
   casualty,	the	JCCC	will	task	the	relevant	                                                                        It	comprises	of	a	Personnel	Recovery	                  their	individual	cases	in	order	to	monitor	
   Army	Headquarters	to	appoint	a	Casualty	                  What	is	a	Visiting	Officer?                             Branch	within	Headquarters	Land	Forces,	               and	maintain	progress	-	regular	visits	
   Notification	Officer	(CNO)	to	inform	in	                  •	 A	Visiting	Officer	(VO)	is	appointed	after	a	        11	x	Personnel	Recovery	Units	spread	                  occur.		Family	members	with	outstanding	
   person,	the	EC	and/or	the	additional	                        bereavement.	The	Army	is	fully	aware	of	the	         across	the	UK	and	Germany,	4	x	Personnel	              issues	could	raise	them	with	the	Personnel	
   EC.		This	is	usually	by	a	personal	visit	but	                anxiety	and	confusion	that	a	family	suffers	         Recovery	Centres	(Edinburgh,	Catterick,	               Recovery	Officer	who	will	seek	to	resolve	
   if	the	service	person	is	listed	as	III	or	UL	                in	such	distressing	times	and	therefore	a	           Tidworth,	Colchester)	and	a	Battle	Back	               them	with	the	appropriate	organisation.
   notification	is	normally	via	a	telephone	call.               VO	will	continue	to	be	available	after	the	          Centre	(Midlands)	which	is	focused	
                                                                Casualty	Notification	Officer	has	left.		The	        at	providing	opportunities	for	regular	             Families	can	also	continue	to	seek	support	from	
•	 Where	the	EC	lives	near	the	Service	person’s	                VO	will	be	there	to	advise	the	EC	and	next	          participation	in	inclusive	sport	and	outdoor	       their	UWO	or	the	AWS.
   permanent	unit,	notification	will	normally	                  of	kin	on	matters	such	as	welfare	support	           activities.	The	centres	are	all	coming	online	
   be	undertaken	by	an	officer	from	the	unit.		                 arrangements,	financial	affairs,	and	any	other	      over	the	period	2011/12.				
62 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                    63

Can	I	Visit	a	Casualty	Overseas?	                            Can	I	visit	in	Hospital?
•	 The	MOD	operates	a	scheme	known	as	                       Yes	you	will	be	allowed	to	visit	in	the	normal	
   DILFOR	(Dangerously	Ill	-	Forwarding	of	                  way	and	on	your	first	visit	you	will	be	
   Relatives)	which	allows	a	visit	at	public	                accompanied	and	settled	at	Birmingham.
   expense	to	the	bedside	of	a	casualty	who	
   has	been	medical	evacuated	to	a	hospital	                 Following a death in service how will I pay
   away	from	the	theatre	of	operations.		It	will	            the	mortgage/rent/bills/turn	to	for	help?
   not	mean	travel	to	an	operational	theatre.	               Should	the	worst	happen	and	your	soldier	dies,	
   DILFOR	is	only	authorised	on	the	direct	                  a	VO	will	be	appointed	to	support	the	family.		
   recommendation	of	the	medical	authority	                  They	will	be	able	to	offer	you	advice	directly	or	       from	operational	theatres	military	transport	     •	 The	Army	will	take	great	care	to	ensure	that	
   concerned	and	has	to	be	approved	by	the	                  put	you	in	contact	with	experts	in	the	MOD	who	          aircraft are used and a repatriation                 funeral	arrangements	are	made	with	as	little	
   JCCC	once	they	are	satisfied	that	certain	                can	help	with	a	range	of	issues	such	as:                 ceremony	is	held	at	the	UK	airhead,	to	              distress	to	the	family	as	possible	and	with	
   criteria	have	been	met.	                                                                                           which	the	immediate	family	will	be	invited.	         sensitivity	to	the	wishes	of	the	relatives,	and	
                                                             •	   Funerals
                                                                                                                                                                           of	course	to	any	wish	the	soldier	may	have	
                                                             •	   Accommodation
•	 It	must	be	stressed	that	the	DILFOR	                                                                           What	Arrangements	are	made	for	                          made	in	a	will.
                                                             •	   Pension	Entitlement
   scheme	is	intended	solely	for	the	benefit	                                                                     Funerals?
                                                             •	   Matters	relating	to	the	Estate
   of	the	patient	and	there	is	no	automatic	                                                                      •	 All	serving	military	personnel	are	entitled	       •	 The	soldier’s	unit	or	the	VO	will	explain	to	
                                                             •	   Benefits	and	allowances	
   entitlement	for	next-of-kin	to	visit	the	                                                                         to	a	Service	funeral,	with	as	much	or	little	         the	family	what	options	are	open	to	them	
   patient	at	public	expense.	                                                                                       ceremonial/military	presence	as	the	family	           and	what	entitlements	they	have.
                                                             What	Arrangements	are	made	for	
                                                             Repatriations?                                          require.		The	arrangements	and	costs	
•	 The	DILFOR	scheme	normally	allows	                                                                                involved,	within	certain	limits,	will	be	met	by	   •	 If	family	members	are	unable	to	agree	on	
   two	people,	the	nominated	EC	and	a	                       •	 In	the	unfortunate	cases	where	Army	                                                                       the	funeral	arrangements,	in	the	absence	
                                                                                                                     the	MOD.		If	the	family	prefer	to	arrange	the	
   companion,	to	travel	at	public	expense	                      personnel	die	overseas	the	MOD	will	                                                                       of	instructions	left	by	the	deceased,	the	
                                                                                                                     event	themselves	(a	private	funeral)	a	grant	
   (i.e.	paid	for	by	the	MOD)	to	visit	a	Service	               repatriate	the	body	to	the	UK	and	(where	                                                                  Army	will	liaise	with	the	Executor	of	the	
                                                                                                                     towards	the	cost	is	made	by	the	MOD	once	
   person	at	the	bedside	upon	medical	                          applicable)	onwards	at	the	family’s	request	                                                               will	(or	NOK	if	no	will	is	found)	over	the	
                                                                                                                     the	funeral	has	taken	place.
   recommendation.		The	JCCC	is	responsible	                    to	the	soldiers	country	of	origin.	The	JCCC	                                                               arrangements.	
   for	making	all	the	travel	arrangements	and	                  will	make	the	necessary	arrangements.
   liaises	very	closely	with	the	CNO	or	VO	and	
   the	soldier/spouse	or	civil	partner’s	unit.	              •	 Repatriations	from	most	areas	of	the	world	
                                                                are	carried	out	using	scheduled	flights	with	
                                                                little	or	no	ceremony.	For	those	repatriated	
64 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                        65

Is it different if I am a                                    Overseas	compassionate	leave/
non-British national?                                        travel	Card	&	JCCC	Help	Is	At	
•	 The	Army	provides	support	regardless	of	                  Hand	fridge	magnet
   nationality.	Families	of	wounded	soldiers	                All	soldiers	deploying	should	give	this	card	
   are	provided	with	support	by	the	British	                 to	their	family	members,	there	is	now	also	
   Army	regardless	of	nationality,	for	example	              available	a	fridge	magnet.		If	you	have	not	
   the	Dangerously	Ill	Forwarding	of	Relatives	              received	such	a	card,	this	picture	shows	you	
   (DILFOR)	scheme	enables	eligible	family	                  what	it	looks	like.		If	you	don’t	have	a	card	and	
   members	to	be	moved	at	public	expense	                    want	to	get	a	one	for	yourself	please	ask	your	
   from	anywhere	in	the	world	to	the	hospital	               UWO.
   bedside	of	a	seriously	injured	soldier.

•	 The	Home	Office	have	confirmed	that	
   non-British	soldiers’	widows(ers)	will	not	be	
   removed	automatically	to	their	country	of	
   origin	upon	the	death	of	a	serving	spouse.		
   Immigration	instructions	allow	widows(ers)	
   or	orphans	of	Gurkha	and	non-British	
   soldiers	to	apply	for	settlement	in	the	
   UK	irrespective	of	whether	the	deceased	
   soldier	was	serving	or	had	retired	from	the	
   service.		All	applications	need	to	meet	the	
   criteria	and	are	considered	individually	by	
   the	Home	Office,	which	treats	each	case	
66 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                67

Section	5

Homecoming	is	a	time	when	members	of	a	military	family	get	
back together again after separation.

Settling	back	to	a	family	routine	after	your	
soldier	has	been	away	from	home	for	any	
period	of	time	can	be	difficult,	it	is	a	time	of	
adjustment	after	separation	for	the	whole	
family.	The	returning	soldier	can	upset	routines	
that	may	be	in	place,	or	a	partner	may	feel	
undermined	at	giving	up	control	of	things	
they	have	managed	perfectly	well	during	the	                 Prior	to	returning	home	after	a	deployment	
deployment.		                                                your	soldier	will	go	through	a	period	of	
                                                             decompression.		This	normally	comprises	a	         Things	to	consider
Homecomings	from	an	operational	theatre	                     formal	break	away	from	the	operational	theatre	
                                                                                                                Homecoming	Build-Up.		The	majority	of	               fantasy	of	how	it	will	be,	and	reality	is	seldom	
can	be	especially	difficult;	soldiers	may	bring	             followed	by	a	period	of	return	to	work	within	
                                                                                                                deployed	soldiers	and	members	of	their	family	       the	same	as	fantasy.		So	don’t	set	your	
home	unpleasant	memories,	or	be	wondering	                   barracks	before	taking	post	operational	tour	
                                                                                                                will	experience	a	feeling	of	anticipation	as	        expectations	too	high	and	keep	a	sense	of	
if	the	family	still	need	them,	or	if	the	children	           leave.		This	process	is	designed	to	place	
                                                                                                                the	tour	draws	to	an	end.		This	may	take	the	        proportion	to	your	plans.		Be	receptive	to	each	
will	still	recognise	them	or	will	the	family	be	             individuals	into	a	formal,	structured	and,	most	
                                                                                                                form	of	eagerness	to	get	home,	or	a	dread	           others	needs,	as	they	will	probably	differ.
able	to	understand	what	they	as	a	soldier	have	              important,	monitored	environment	in	which	
                                                                                                                of	a	return	that	potentially	could	be	filled	with	
experienced.                                                 to	begin	‘winding-down’	and	rehabilitating	to	
                                                                                                                problems,	or	a	mixture	of	both.		Few	get	            Compromise.		Your	soldier	may	want	to	stay	
                                                             a	normal,	routine,	peace-time	environment	in	
Your	unit	welfare	office	will	normally	offer	a	                                                                 much	sleep	the	night	before	homecoming	and	          at	home	and	do	nothing	initially.	Alternatively,	
                                                             order	to	reduce	the	impact	of	post	operational	
‘Homecoming	Briefing’	prior	to	your	soldier	                                                                    children	may	be	more	moody	and	irritable	than	       you	may	want	your	partner	to	do	all	of	those	
returning.		You	may	find	it	helpful	to	attend	as	it	                                                            usual.		This	could	cause	the	whole	family	to	be	     little	jobs	around	the	house	that	need	doing,	
will	provide	you	an	opportunity	to	ask	questions	            Usually,	it	can	take	a	few	weeks	for	things	       keyed-up	and	exhausted	before	you	reunite.	          but	they	may	not	see	the	urgency.		You	will	
about	anything	that	you	have	concerns	about.                 to	get	back	to	normal,	and	the	key	here	                                                                need	to	compromise	with	each	other,	and	use	
                                                             is	communication.		Talking	through	any	            Adjustment.		After	the	completion	of	an	             a	bit	of	‘give	and	take’	to	avoid	arguments	and	
The	Army	Welfare	Information	Service	produce	                negative	feelings	and	giving	yourselves	time	to	   operational	tour,	it	is	not	unusual	to	experience	   hurt	feelings.		Don’t	force	issues	and	be	patient	
a	leaflet	titled:	Homecoming	&	Reunions                      reacquaint	should	ease	any	problems,	but	every	    a	‘homecoming	let-down’	or	‘post	tour	blues’.		      and	tolerant	with	each	other.
Tel:	01722	436569	or	ask	your	UWO	for	a	copy.	               couple	will	find	their	own	way.                    This	is	because	in	your	mind	you	create	a	
68 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                              69

Unresolved	Problems.		If	there	were	                         Alternatively,	the	children	may	look	to	their	
unresolved	relationship	or	family	issues	before	             returning parent for attention or decision
deployment,	or	that	arose	during	R&R,	they	are	              making	which,	after	six	months	of	absence,	
likely	to	still	be	there	when	your	soldier	returns.		        may	make	you	feel	as	though	you	no	longer	
It	is	not	a	good	idea	to	tackle	these	issues	                matter.		All	of	these	feelings	and	actions	are	
straight	away,	but	to	let	a	period	of	adjustment	            normal	behaviour	and	you	should	not	take	
take	its	course.		                                           them	personally.		

If	you	are	worried	about	an	issue	it	will	no	                Problem Solving.		Perhaps	one	or	the	other	
doubt	be	on	your	soldier’s	mind	too.		Carefully	             partner	could	have	been	concerned	about	a	
choose	a	time	to	talk,	and	don’t	force	the	                  relationship	issue,	or	run	up	a	large	amount	of	
                                                                                                                                                                   Avoiding	Traffic	Accidents
issue	as	soon	as	they	walk	in	the	door.		This	               debt	during	the	tour.	Worrying,	trying	to	cover	   •	 Work	out	a	solution	together	that	you	both	     After	an	operational	deployment,	some	
again	will	only	cause	confrontation	and	                     up	a	problem	or	being	defensive	is	not	going	to	      agree	on.                                       soldiers	may	take	time	to	readjust	to	making	
defensiveness,	and	could	make	matters	worse.                 help.	The	key	is	to	sort	things	out,	discussing	   •	 Try	not	to	involve	the	children,	and	discuss	   judgements	about	taking	acceptable	risks	in	
                                                             the	ways	to	resolve	matters	is	far	more	useful	       matters	out	of	earshot.                         a	non-operational	environment,	particularly	
Promises and Feelings.		If	anyone	has	made	                  than	shouting	and	finger-pointing!                                                                    when	driving.		This	has	seen	a	reported	
                                                                                                                •	 Seek	help	from	a	professional	agency	
promises	over	the	phone	or	by	email	or	letter	                                                                                                                     increase	in	road	traffic	accidents	involving	
                                                             Some	tips	to	help	you	to	solve	problems	are:       	 if	needed.	
during	the	tour,	especially	to	children,	then	                                                                                                                     soldiers	post-deployment.		If	you	or	your	soldier	
that	person	to	whom	the	promise	was	made	                    •	 Pick	the	right	moment	and	bring	up	the	         •	 Talk	over	steps	that	you	can	take	to	avoid	a	   need	more	information	either,	for	general	
will	expect	it	to	happen.		The	returning	soldier	               issue	calmly.                                      repeat	of	the	problem.	                         road	safety	matters,	check	out	the	website	
may	be	surprised	or	even	put	out	that	you	have	              •	 Be	honest.                                      •	 Discourage	family	visits	for	the	first	two	     at,	or	for	specific	
managed	so	well	without	them	being	around.		                 •	 Don’t	blame	each	other.                            weeks	–	your	soldier	may	have	a	lot	of	         advice,	contact	your	Unit	Welfare	Officer	or	
They	may	even	feel	jealous	that	you	and	your	                                                                      pent-up	frustration	to	get	rid	of.              the	Army	Welfare	Service.		They	in	turn	may	
                                                             •	 Realise	that	things	sometimes	happen	
children	may	have	become	closer	and	have	                                                                                                                          seek	guidance	from	unit	transport	staff	or	their	
                                                                simply	because	of	the	stress	of	separation.
done	things	that	they	have	missed	out	on.		                                                                                                                        regional	Master	Driver.
70 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                   71

Children	and	Reunion
Introduction.		Change	is	at	least	as	stressful	              Infants up to 12 Months.		An	infant	has	not	
for	children	as	it	is	for	adults.		The	soldier’s	            yet	developed	much	of	an	ability	to	remember	
return	is	a	major	change	for	the	children	in	the	            people	or	events,	so	do	not	be	surprised	when	       Toddlers	(Age	1	to	3).		A	typical	response	           Pre-School Age (3 to 5).		Children	of	this	age	
household.		They	have	grown	in	every	way	                    your baby does not recognise its returning           from	a	toddler	may	be	to	run	and	hide	from	           tend	to	think	that	the	world	revolves	around	
physically,	emotionally	and	socially	during	the	             parent.		Small	babies	will	cry	when	picked	up	by	    the	newly	returned	parent,	or	to	cling	to	mum	        them.		Keeping	that	in	mind,	it	is	not	surprising	
deployment.	                                                 this	‘stranger’,	which	may	be	upsetting	at	first.	   and	cry.		Sometimes,	toddlers	can	regress	to	         that	your	child	may	think	they	somehow	made	
                                                                                                                  younger	stages	of	behaviour	or	bedwetting.		          their	parent	go	away	because	of	something	they	
Children	have	very	little	life	experience	and	               However,	the	child	will	respond	to	what	is	                                                                did,	or	that	their	parent	does	not	love	them.		
are	not	equipped	to	deal	with	stress,	so	their	              going	on	around	them,	and	if	the	other	parent	       This	may	be	more	relevant	if	the	returning	
behaviour	may	change	when	a	parent	comes	                    is	happy	for	this	‘strange	person’	to	be	around	     parent	has	issues	that	they	have	brought	back	        If	this	is	the	case	with	your	child,	they	may	
home	and	regress	to	more	immature	behaviour.	   	            then	so	will	your	baby.		Speeding	up	the	            from	their	tour.		This	‘new’	person	may	look	         feel	guilty	or	abandoned.		As	a	result,	your	
They	may	become	unruly	and	misbehave	more	                   baby’s	acceptance	of	this	new	person	can	be	         intimidating	to	a	small	child,	so	talk	at	eye	        child	may	express	intense	anger	as	a	way	
often,	or	they	might	even	withdraw	inside	                   encouraged	by	taking	part	in	activities	together,	   level,	and	offer	to	play	or	do	an	activity.		Don’t	   of	keeping	a	returning	parent	at	a	distance,	
themselves	as	a	reaction	to	the	changes	within	              such	as	bathing,	feeding	and	changing	the	           force	the	pace,	as	this	could	make	the	child	         thereby	protecting	themselves	from	further	
the	household.	The	re-adjustment	period	may	                 baby.		Be	patient	and	let	your	baby	set	the	         uncomfortable.	It	could	help	to	show	pictures	        disappointment.		Your	child	is	likely	to	do	some	
take	around	four	to	six	weeks	or	sometimes	                  pace	of	the	reunion.                                 of	the	returning	parent	a	few	weeks	before	           form	of	limit-testing	to	see	if	the	rules	applied	
longer	for	the	entire	family.		                                                                                   they	return	and	mention	them	more	often	in	           during	the	parent’s	absence	still	apply	now	they	
                                                                                                                  conversation.	                                        are	back.		
You	can	greatly	enhance	your	family’s	reunion	
by	developing	realistic	expectations	of	how	                                                                      	It	is	at	this	age	that	‘out	of	sight	out	of	mind’	
your	child	will	respond,	based	upon	their	age.                                                                    rings	true,	which	is	normal	behaviour	for	this	
72 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                           73

                                                                                                                    Tips	on	dealing	with	Traumatic	Stress	in	Children	and	Young	People
School Age (5 to 12).		Children	of	this	age	                                                                        If your soldier becomes a casualty and is              •	 start	bedwetting	and	thumb-sucking	again;
group	are	likely	to	give	parents	a	very	warm	                                                                       injured,	traumatic	stress	can	affect	all	the	          •	 become	preoccupied	with	thoughts	about	
welcome	as	long	as	the	relationship	was	strong	                                                                     members	of	the	family.		Children,	like	adults,	           the	event;
before	the	parent	left.		This	age	will	most	likely	                                                                 sometimes	experience	traumatic	stress	reaction,	       •	 be	unable	to	concentrate;
run	to	their	returning	parent	as	soon	as	they	                                                                      which	affects	the	way	the	child	thinks,	feels	and	     •	 be	irritable	and	disobedient;
see	them,	try	and	manipulate	all	their	attention	                                                                   behaves;	children	can	be	as	severely	affected	         •	 complain	of	physical	symptoms	such	as	
and	talk	their	socks	off!		They	will	probably	be	                                                                   as	adults.		If	you	recognise	stress,	you	will	be	         headaches	and	stomach-aches
genuinely	excited	about	the	homecoming.	                                                                            better	able	to	help	your	child	to	recover,	and	
                                                             Adolescents (13 to 18).		If	you	have	a	teenager	       also	to	know	when	to	seek	professional	help.		         All	these	are	normal	reactions	to	an	extremely	
If	the	relationship	was	not	so	strong,	or	strained	                                                                                                                        frightening	situation.		With	support	from	the	
                                                             in	your	family	then	you	will	be	fully	aware	of	
in	some	way,	the	child	may	dread	or	even	fear	                                                                      What	are	the	signs	of	traumatic	stress?                people	close	to	them,	children	begin	to	get	over	
                                                             mood	swings,	which	manifest	themselves	in	a	
the	return	of	a	parent.		This	could	be	because	                                                                     Individual	children	react	in	different	ways	to	        the	shock.
                                                             roller-coaster	of	emotions.		They	may	be	excited	
of	worry	that	they	may	be	punished	for	any	                                                                         traumatic	events.		How	they	react	may	also	
                                                             about	their	parent’s	return,	but	they	could	be	
misbehaviour	that	was	highlighted	during	the	                                                                       depend	on	their	age.		Immediately	after	the	           Longer-lasting effects
                                                             concerned	that	they	may	be	unfavourably	
period	of	absence.	                                                                                                 traumatic	event,	children	may	find	it	hard	to	         Sometimes	a	child	has	feelings	of	depression	
                                                             judged	or	criticised.		They	might	try	to	hide	their	
The	best	advice	for	this	is	to	take	a	friendly	              real	emotions	to	try	and	look	“cool”,	so	you	          sleep	and	have	bad	dreams	and	nightmares.	             and	anxiety	that	go	on	for	several	weeks	and	
interest	in	what	your	child	is	doing	or	has	                 should	be	aware	of	this	and	try	to	take	time	to	       If	you	recognise	traumatic	stress	behaviour,	you	      may	get	worse.		These	reactions	can	interfere	
done,	and	focus	on	giving	praise	for	any	                    talk	to	your	teenager.		Try	to	discuss	what	is	        will	be	better	able	to	help	your	child	recover,	and	   considerably	with	a	child’s	daily	living.		They	may	
accomplishments	and	efforts.                                 happening	in	their	lives,	and	how	they	feel.           also	know	when	to	seek	professional	help.              be	unable	to	enjoy	playing	or	find	it	difficult	to	
                                                                                                                                                                           concentrate	on	their	school	work.		If	they	go	on	
                                                                                                                    What	are	the	signs	of	traumatic	stress?                for	a	long	period	of	time,	it	is	likely	that	the	child	
                                                                                                                    Individual	children	react	in	different	ways	to	        may	need	some	help	to	feel	better.
                                                                                                                    traumatic	events.		How	they	react	may	also	
                                                                                                                    depend	on	their	age.		Sometimes	the	effects	           Sometimes,	children	find	it	easier	to	talk	to	
                                                                                                                    may	not	appear	for	days	or	weeks..	Children	           adults	rather	than	their	parent.		Professional	
                                                                                                                    may	however:                                           help	may	be	needed	to	get	them	back	to	normal	
                                                                                                                                                                           more	quickly,	and	to	prevent	or	reduce	the	
                                                                                                                    •	 become	fearful,	clingy	and	anxious	about	           harmful	effects	of	prolonged	stress	reactions
                                                                                                                       being	separated	for	their	parents;                  ask for help.
74 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                                                   75

Where	can	I	get	help?                                        Tips	for	Parents	of	                                   Tips	on	dealing	with	Stress	and	Post	Traumatic	Stress	Disorder
If	you	are	concerned	about	your	child,	consult	              Returning	Soldiers
your	general	practitioner,	who	will	be	able	
to	offer	you	help	and	support.		If	problems	                 Your	son	or	daughter	may	need	time	to	adjust	to	       Post	Traumatic	Stress	Disorder	is	the	name	          If you recognise any of these in
continue,	the	doctor	may	suggest	extra	help	                 their	life	at	home	and	they	may	not	easily	settle.		   for	what	was	historically	known	as	‘battle	          yourself or your returning soldier,
form	the	local	child	and	adolescent	mental	                  They	have	been	closely	bonded	together	with	           fatigue’	or	‘shell	shock’,	and	can	affect	anyone	    you should seek medical advice as
health	service.                                              their	friends	for	many	months	and	may	miss	            who	has	experienced	something	traumatic	or	          soon as possible
                                                             them.		After	a	few	days	at	home	they	may	wish	         disturbing.		Soldiers	may	be	affected	by	some	
A	useful	website	is	The	Royal	College	of	                    to	and	re-join	them	to	catch	up.		Do	not	take	         degree	of	stress	after	an	operation.		There	is	no	   Any	condition	won’t	usually	go	away	without	
Psychiatrists:           this	personally	or	as	rejection.		                     way	to	know	who	will	be	affected,	and	it	is	not	     treatment,	so	early	medical	intervention	is	
                                                                                                                    necessarily	those	that	had	the	most	distressing	     vital.		If	you	notice	a	change	in	your	soldier,	
The above section adapted with                               Give	your	soldier	the	opportunity	to	talk	about	       experiences	that	may	experience	any	of	the	          seek	support	–	you	can	always	discuss	it	
permission from Traumatic stress in                          their	experiences,	let	them	know	that	you	are	         following	symptoms:                                  with	confidence	with	a	doctor,	your	UWO	or	
children, part of Mental Health and                          willing	to	listen	in	a	non-judgmental	way.		Do	not	                                                         a	member	of	the	Army	Welfare	Service.	For	
                                                             push.		If	you	have	had	your	own	combat	or	non-         •	 Flashbacks	and	nightmares.
Growing Up (produced by the Royal                                                                                                                                        you	or	your	family	your	GP	should	be	the	first	
College of Psychiatrists).                                   military	intense	experiences	you	may	discover	         •	 Depression,	confusion	or	inability	to	make	       medical	port	of	call	for	help	with	family	stress	
                                                             that	this	is	a	good	opportunity	to	deepen	                simple	decisions.                                 and	anxiety	problems	during	or	after	the	
                                                             connections	with	your	offspring	by	discussing	         •	 Trouble	sleeping.                                 deployment.
                                                             the	issues	with	them.
                                                                                                                    •	 Irritability	and	a	quick	temper.
                                                                                                                                                                         Finally	please	keep	this	information	at	the	back	
                                                             If you are concerned about an aspect of                •	 Anger	at	life	in	general.
                                                                                                                                                                         of	your	mind,	symptoms	can	sometimes	take	
                                                             your	spouse,	civil	partner,	son	or	daughters	          •	 Hyper-alertness,	anxiety	or	panic	attacks.        years	or	even	decades	to	appear.	The	key	point	
                                                             behaviour	since	their	return,	they	may	need	
                                                                                                                    •	 Feeling	of	isolation	or	being	‘the	only	one	      is	that,	once	medically	diagnosed,	the	condition	
                                                             additional	help.		More	detail	can	be	found	in	
                                                                                                                       feeling	like	this’.                               is	treatable.	
                                                             the	next	section.		
                                                                                                                    •	 Using	excess	alcohol	or	drugs	to	‘forget’	it.
                                                                                                                    •	 Feeling	suicidal.
76 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                        77

Section	6
the	Army
and	Terminology
Army	Structure
The Army carries out tasks given to it by the democratically
elected Government. Its main job is to help defend the interests
of	the	United	Kingdom,	which	consists	of	England,	Wales,	
Scotland	and	Northern	Ireland.		
This	may	involve	service	overseas	as	part	of	
a	North	Atlantic	Treaty	Organisation	(NATO)	
Force	or	any	other	multi-national	deployment.		
Soldiers	may	also	be	deployed	on	United	
Nations	(UN)	operations	and	used	to	help	in	
other	emergencies.		The	list	below	shows	how	
a	regiment	fits	into	the	Army	and	how	the	Army	              Since 1949 the UK has belonged         Commissioned	Ranks                Non-Commissioned	Ranks
is	controlled	by	Government.		                               to NATO. NATO aims to provide a
                                                                                                    Gen	 	 	     General              WO1	 	 	      	   Warrant	Officer	Class	1
•	   The	Queen.                                              common defence for its members in
                                                                                                    Lt	Gen	 	    Lieutenant	General   WO2	 	 	      	   Warrant	Officer	Class	2
•	   The	Government.                                         both Europe and further afield.
                                                                                                    Maj	Gen			   Major	General        CSgt/SSgt		   	   Colour	Sergeant/
•	   Parliament.                                                                                    Brig         Brigadier            	 	 	 	       	   Staff	Sergeant
•	   Ministry	of	Defence	(MOD).                              The Army has garrisons in
                                                                                                    Col          Colonel              Sgt	 	 	      	   Sergeant
	    -	 Secretary	of	State	for	Defence.                      Germany. British troops also serve
                                                                                                    Lt	Col		 	   Lieutenant	Colonel   Cpl               Corporal
	    -	 Ministers.                                           in Brunei, Cyprus, Gibraltar and the
                                                                                                    Maj	 	 	     Major                LCpl	 	 	     	   Lance	Corporal
•	   Army	Board.                                             Falkland Islands.
                                                                                                    Capt         Captain              Pte	 	 	      	   Private
•	   Chief	of	the	General	Staff.                                                                    Lt	 	 	 	    Lieutenant
•	   Army	Commands.                                          In addition soldiers are deployed on
                                                                                                    2	Lt	 	 	    2nd	Lieutenant
•	   Divisions	(about	20,000	people).                        operations world-wide, for instance
•	   Brigades	(about	5000	people).	                          to the Middle East.
•	   Regiments/Battalions	(about	700	people).
•	   Companies/Squadrons/Batteries			
	    (about	120	people).	
•	   Platoons/Troops	(about	30	people).
78 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                                                 79

Abbreviations	and	Army	Terminology

2IC	 	     	   	   2nd	In	Command                            FFR	 	 	        	   Fixed	Forces	Rate	
AOR	 	     	   	   Area	of	Responsibility                    	 	 	 	         	   (of	exchange)
AFF	 	     	   	   Army	Families	Federation                  HIVE	 	 	       	   HIVE	Forces	Information	Centre
AWIS	 	    	   	   Army	Welfare	Information		 	              HR	Staff	 	     	   Human	Resources	Staff	
	 	 	      	   	   Service                                   	 	 	 	         	   (also	known	as	Regimental	staff		
AWS	 	     	   	   Army	Welfare	Service                      	 	 	 	         	   or	pay	staff)
Bde                Brigade                                   JCCC                Joint Casualty
BFPO		     	   	   British	Forces	Post	Office                	 	 	 	         	   &	Compassionate	Centre
BFBS		     	   	   British	Forces	Broadcasting			            LSA	 	 	        	   Longer	Separation	Allowance         Regt	 	 	     	   Regiment
	 	 	      	   	   Service                                   MND	 	 	        	   Multi	National	Division             RMO	 	 	      	   Regimental	Medical	Officer
Bn                 Battalion                                 MOD	 	 	        	   Ministry	of	Defence                 ROP	 	 	      	   Rear	Operations	Group
CNO	 	     	   	   Casualty	Notification	Officer             MT	 	 	         	   Military	Transport                  ROSO	 	       	   Regimental	Operations	Support	Officer
CO	 	      	   	   Commanding	Officer                        MTO	 	 	        	   Military	Transport	Officer          RQMS	 	       	   Regimental	Quartermaster	Sergeant
CofC	 	    	   	   Chain	of	Command                          NAAFI	 	
                                                                   	         	   Navy,	Army	and	Air	Force		 	        RSM	 	 	      	   Regimental	Sergeant	Major	(a	WO1)
Coy                Company                                                       Institute                           SITREP	 	     	   Situation	Report
CQMS	      	   	   Company	Quartermaster		 	  	              NOK	    	   	   	   Next	of	Kin                               	
                                                                                                                     SORN	 	       	   Statutory	Off	Road	Notification
	 	 	      	   	   Sergeant                                  OC	     	   	   	   Officer	Commanding                  SLI	 	 	      	   Service	Life	Insurance
CSM	 	     	   	   Company	Sergeant	Major                    Ops		   	   	   	   Operations                          SSR	 	 	      	   Security	Sector	Reform	
	 	 	      	   	   (a	WO2)                                   PAX	    	   	   	                              	
                                                                                 Forces	Life	and	Personal		 	        SSVC		 	      	   Services	Sound	&	Vision		Corporation
DBE	 	     	   	   Department	of	Border		 	 	                                    Injury Insurance                    SSAFA-FH	     	   Soldiers,	Sailors	&	Airmen’s	Families	Association
                   Enforcement                               Pl                  Platoon                             	 	 	 	       	   –	Forces	Help
Div	 	     	   	   Division                                  POL	 	      	   	   Post	Operational	Leave              TAOR		 	      	   Tactical	Area	of		 esponsibility
DILFOR	    	   	   Dangerously	Ill	Forwarding                PTSD		      	   	   Post	Traumatic	Stress	Disorder      Theatre		 	   	   Area	of	Operation
	 	 	      	   	   of	Relatives                              PTSR		      	   	   Post	Traumatic	Stress	Reaction      TRiM	 	 	     	   Trauma	Risk	Management
DWP	 	     	   	   Deployment	Welfare	Package                QM	 	       	   	   Quartermaster                       UWO	 	 	      	   Unit	Welfare	Office(r)
EFI	 	     	   	   Expeditionary	Forces	Institute		          R&R	 	      	   	   Rest	&	Recuperation                    	
                                                                                                                     VO	 	 	       	   Visiting	Officer
	 	 	      	   	   (Shop)                                    RAO	 	      	   	   Regimental	Administration	
EC                 Emergency Contact                         Office(r)
80 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel                                                                                                          81

Section	7
 Check	List                                                        Tick	
                                                                   (when complete)
 Do	you	know	who	your	nominated	UWO	is	and	how	to	make	
 contact	with	them?	
 Have	you	got	the	correct	contact	details	including	postal	
 address	and	BFPO	number	for	your	soldier	written	down	in	
 this	booklet?
 Do	you	have	a	‘guest’	account	for	ArmyNET?

 Are	you	content	that	finances	(Standing	Orders/Direct	Debits	
 set	up)	are	arranged	during	the	deployment?	
 Are	you	authorised	to	deal	with	the	bank,	credit	card	agencies	
 and	other	financial	organisations?	
 Have	you	checked	up	on	any	legal	matters,	spoken	to	a	

 (if	necessary),	and	do	you	know	where	the	will	is?	
 Is	the	car	prepared	(serviced,	MOT	etc)?	
 Do	you	know	a	trusted	mechanic	or	garage?		                                         If	you	have	any	suggestions	for	inclusion	or	amendments	please	send	them	to:
 Have	you	noted	down	important	dates	
 for	insurance	renewals	etc?	                                                        HQ Land Forces
 Has	your	soldier	checked	and	arranged	
                                                                                     SO3 Families PS4(A)
 life	insurance/SLI/PAX	etc?	
                                                                                     IDL 428
 Do	you	know	where	all	the	key	documents	are	                                        Ramillies Building
 should	you	need	them?	                                                              Marlborough Lines
 Do	you	know	what	to	do	in	a	home	emergency	for	your:                                Andover
 •	 Water?	                                                                          Hampshire
 •	 Gas?	                                                                            SP11 8HJ
 •	 Electricity?	
 Do	you	know	how	and	when	to	phone	the	Joint	Casualty	and	                           Tel:	Civil	0126438	2159			or			Mil:	94391	Ext	2159
 Compassionate	Centre	(JCCC)?                                                        Email or	via	DII	LF-DPS(A)-PS4A-D2

 Do	you	know	who	to	contact	in	an	emergency?	
                                                                                     Many thanks to the Army Families Federation for their support in supplying
 Armynet	login:                                                                      some of the photographs included in this guide.
82 | Guide for Families of deployed Regular Army Personnel

                                                                                    Your	feedback
                                                                                    We	would	very	much	appreciate	your	feedback	on	
                                                                                    this	guide,	your	views	and	comments	are	valued	and	
                                                                                    thank	you	for	taking	the	time	to	respond.

                                                                                      Did	you	get	this	guide	in	preperation	for	deployment:			 YES/NO

                                                                                      Did	you	use	this	guide	for	information:
                                                                                      Pre	deployment		                                          YES/NO
                                                                                      During	deployment	                                        YES/NO

                                                                                      Did	you	find	the	information	useful	                      YES/NO

                                                                                      Did	you	find	that	the	guide	complemented	
                                                                                      the	support	from	your	UWO	                                YES/NO
                                                                                                                                                                 Fold	Here
                                                                                      Is	the	information	understandable	                        YES/NO

                                                                                      Did	you	ask	your	UWO	to	clarify	anything
                                                                                      Covered	in	the	guide	that	you	didn’t	understand	          YES/NO

                                                                                      Is	there	anything	you	would	like	us	to	include:	(please	provide	details)

                                                             Tear	Perforated	edge
         Clear	Tape	Here	when	folded	
                                        Affix	a	
SO3	Families,	
Headquarters	Land	Forces
Directorate	of	Peraonal	Services	Army
IDL	428,	Ramillies	Bldg,	
Marlborough	Lines,	
SP11	8HJ
Useful Telephone Numbers

 Your nominated Unit Welfare Officer - your first point of        Name:
 contact for routine enquiries                                    Tel No:
 Your nearest HIVE - help, information and signposting to         Online at
 professional support agencies.
 Army Welfare Information Service - confidential                  +44 (0) ) 01980 615975
 information and access to the Army’s Welfare Service
 Reserve Training and Mobilization Centre – additional            0800 2855533
 Unit Welfare Officer support for those families of soldiers on
 the Operational Commitments Establishment
 Confidential Support Line - personal support from a              0800 7314880 (UK)
 confidential telephone support worker                            +44 (0) 1980 630854
 Joint Casualty and Compassionate Centre - emergency              +44 (0)1452 519951
 casualty and compassionate support (in the case of death,
 injury or illness of the soldier or their immediate familiy)

Write down your soldier’s contact details here, you may need them later

Full name

Rank                                               Regimental number

Unit name

Unit contact telephone number

Unit address prior to deployment

Unit address during deployment

ArmyNET login

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