how to a grate make a family

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					 Parenting Article No. 40


Much has been written about the sorts of qualities          • Conflict Resolution. There are various ways to
parents need to embrace for the development of               resolve disputes. Often parents have had less than
strong and healthy families. In her excellent book           appropriate models in their own upbringing and need
What Kind Of Child Are You Bringing Up (SNP                  to re-learn how best to deal with conflict.
Publishing Pty Ltd, 1997), Kerry Frost lists the             Satisfactory outcomes usually result from a process
following;                                                   that enables all involved to express their feelings and
                                                             viewpoint. Once this expression takes place it is
• Communication. Strong and healthy families                 possible to move into forming a solution that meets
 have good communication between all members of              most of the needs of those in dispute.
 the family. They talk about the events of their lives,
 the achievements and schedules, the plans and              • Compassion and Understanding. Bad things
 shopping lists. They share their ideas about how to         happen to good people. This statement is a powerful
 approach things. They spend time doing things               message that will help young people develop a
 together. More than this, individuals talk to their         positive attitude towards misfortune and suffering.
 parents and siblings about feelings. The expression
 of feelings both positive and negative must be             • Hugging. Physical touch is essential from the
 encouraged. By ridding our bodies of destructive            moment children are born. This means plenty of
 emotions we leave room for joy and happiness to             affectionate hugs that demonstrate love and esteem.
 flourish. Boys, girls, mums and dads all need the           Healthy and happy families are not embarrassed
 opportunity to talk about their feelings. Children          about the intimacy involved in hugs.
 learn from an early age to use a clearing process for
 their feelings and thereby lessen their stress and         • Ability to see Positives. In all situations, you
 anxiety levels.                                             can focus on the negatives or the positives. It helps
                                                             all involved particularly children to routinely seek
• Problem Solving. Being able to solve problems              positive aspects rather than waste energy and time on
 and think laterally will assist everyone in all areas of    stress and anxiety.
 life. Students will perform well both academically
 and informally if they are able to move into a             • Celebrations. Children need to feel that their
 problem–solving mode rather than remaining stuck            achievements are recognised. What better way than
 in fear and anxiety. Young people who grow up in a          to have a family celebration that instils a sense of fun
 family that routinely involves all members in               and humour into families? Families that come
 working towards solutions to problems will be less          together for free and unstructured time support each
 anxious and will deal with stress better.                   other and value this time.

• Rules and Expectations. Healthy families have             • Flexibility. Strong and healthy families are
 rules and expectations for all members. Underlying          flexible and adaptable. The uniqueness of each
 these rules is respect for each other and others’           member is recognised and valued. Frequent family
 property. Rules change as each child develops and           outings provide fun and laughter.
 the consequences for breaking the rules also change.
 This makes the transition to the adult world much          So, how about calling a family meeting to discuss
 easier.                                                    some of the above ideas?

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