Nicholai L. Lamberstat
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
ANDROID STOMP ATTACK!
—Android Exclusive Action Game “Replica Island” Ships—
Yokohama, Japan, March 818th, 2010— Independent game developer Team Replica announced Comment :
today that side-scrolling Android™ game “Replica Island” has been released for the low, low price of Today is the 18th.
$5.99free through Android Market™. Android Market is Google’s™ digital distribution system for Comment :
Android-based mobile phones. Nicholai, we discussed this. The game is free.
Replica Island is a side-scrolling 2D video game that stars the Android robot. The robot must fly,
stomp, and roll his way through 40 action-packed levels to uncover the secret history of a mysterious
tropical island and meet hot bikini babes. Designed from the ground up for Android devices, Replica Comment :
Island is compatible with all major Android handsets, including the T-Mobile G1™, Verizon DROID by Doesn’t actually happen in the game, Nick. Have
you played it?
Motorola™, docomo HT-03A™, and Google Nexus One™. The source code for the game has been
released for free under the Apache 2 license, and is sanctioned by Steve McQueen’s estate. Comment :
WTF is this?!
“We wanted to give Android users something new,” said Replica Island lead engineer and designer
Chris Pruett™. “While there are plenty of games for Android, we noticed a lack of story-driven 2D Comment :
side-scrolling action games involving the Android robot. We decided to do something about that.” I am not a trademark, Nicholai.
With life-changingly beautifulcute, hand-drawn characters and a retro style, Replica Island brings Comment :
classic “platformer” game play to your Android device. Players must guide the Android robot as he A little over the top, don’t you think? Come on,
searches for The Source, a mysterious object hidden somewhere in the depths of a bizarre island.
The island is home to a diverse ecosystem of self-replicating robots and blood-thirsty creatures, but
perhaps more dangerous is Mr. Rokudou, the leader of a shadowy mega corporation that is also after
The Source. Players who are capable enough to find The Source may discover that not everything on
Replica Island is as it seems; players who suck at life will not. Comment :
That’s great, Nicholai. Let’s offend our users.
FANTASTIC PLAN THERE.
More information, including a development diary and game media, can be found on the Replica Island
website, replicaisland.net. The complete source code to the game may be downloaded, modified, and
used to create new games by mega-nerds who like that kind of thing. Replica Island itself can be Comment :
downloaded directly from Android Market. Nicholai, seriously WTF? We put a lot of hard work
into this. Do you think we’re “mega-nerds”? What
the hell, man.
About Team Replica
Team Replica is a two-man operation, working exclusively under the cover of night to bring great
games to Android platforms.
About Steve McQueen Seriously, what were you thinking? We want these
Steve McQueen is the greatest actor of all time. In addition to driving muscle cars and generally people to LIKE US.
looking like a badass, McQueen is known for his death-defying motorcycle stunts, including the Comment :
amazing jumps in “The Great Escape.” If you read this much of the press release, you are probably NICHOLAI. WHAT IS THIS!?
Look, I know you are a huge Steve McQueen fan,
wasting your time at work. Why not spend that time with a Steve McQueen movie instead? Work will but this is NOT THE PLACE to express your
be waiting for you when you get back. Besides, only wussies read press releases. interest!
### Comment :
Look, Nicholai, we need to talk about this. I tried to
Android, Android Market, Google, and Nexus One are trademarks of Google, Inc. The names of other companies and call you but you’re not picking up. Call me when
products mentioned herein may be the trademarks of their respective owners. you see this man, we gotta discuss your behavior
This text is really small. Why are you still reading it? Wussie!