Dear Ross, I can’t get you out of my mind. I am genuinely concerned for you. Not only do you have a serious illness and you need to take care of yourself, but I believe you’re dealing with addiction to drugs and alcohol to cover a deeper emotional pain. I should have said all of this a long time ago but I didn’t want to because I didn’t know how to say it – now it doesn’t really matter. When I attacked you and told you to “clean you act up.” I meant that in love, because I'm a very direct person. I realized that I should have approached you with more compassion and with more kindness. If you remember, the point that you told me that we weren’t going to live together was the morning that I sent you the email because I was upset that you got stoned when you had just an hour or so before bed. A compulsion like that is an sign of addiction. I think a normal person would have just waited until the following day, after all, you’re only enjoying the high for an hour or less, what’s the point…unless you’re addicted. I think that in your past someone affected you in a way that resonated deeply when I told you that I was abused. I should have recognized this and I shouldn’t have dismissed your reaction. Even Julie recognized this. I’m sorry that I didn’t reach out to you and help you with your pain and suffering. I was so engrossed with dealing with my own problems that I couldn’t really help you with yours. I think that on some level I was trying to use my problems as a gateway to get you to open up about your problems. I thought that if you saw me opening up about my past and my problems that maybe you would open up about your past and your problems. I thought that if you saw me seeking professional help, that you would do the same. I really think that you need professional help. Getting high and drunk and escaping through the television everyday is not the solution. If you don’t deal with this in a healthy way, the cycle will repeat and you’ll hurt another person that you love. You really broke my heart. I poured everything that I had into the relationship. I gave everything that I had, and I was so devastated when we broke up. I still have a hard time sleeping, and I have a hard time eating, and I’m just having a hard time moving on period. I know that eventually I will move on – but I’m asking you not to hurt another person this way. You have serious issues. You’re covering up your past pain and selfmedicating.