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 YOUTH ACTION
COMMITTEE CLASS
  CURRICULUM
                                                                                        2


                        YOUTH ACTION COMMITTEE CLASS
Schedule: Two semesters, Two days per week, 45 minutes per class

Goals: By providing a safe, supportive space for students to learn, explore, and work on
change, we aim to
     Increase students’ knowledge about healthy relationships and allow them to
practice the skills needed to initiate and maintain them
     Encourage students’ commitment to (and belief they can have) healthy
relationships
     Increase students’ knowledge and awareness about teen dating violence (TDV)
and unhealthy relationships
     Develop students’ knowledge and awareness about social norms that support TDV,
especially related to gender, including their own personal gender attitudes and
behaviors and the impact these may have on their relationships
     Encourage students to reject attitudes and behaviors based on unhealthy gender
norms and replace them with healthy ones
     Provide opportunities for students to practice giving presentations and so gain
confidence
     Provide opportunities for students to practice social change strategies and
bystander skills
     Develop positive and supportive relationships between students and adults


Curriculum Structure:
       This curriculum presents the topics covered in a YAC class, with suggested
activities and handouts, plus the self-contained YAC Retreat held at the beginning of the
school year.
       We have found a need to be very flexible in the length of time any particular
topic takes. Some groups of students will grasp certain concepts, or accept certain
ideas more rapidly than others. Thus, a topic has a suggested number of days, but
teachers should be prepared to spend more or less time as needed.
       In many places, extra activities are included in case more work is required in an
area, or there is extra time to fill. Since some of the activities in this curriculum are
borrowed, we have done our best to acknowledge our sources.
                    3




      UNIT 1:
INTRODUCTION TO CLASS
   AND TEEN DATING
      VIOLENCE
                                                                                          4


                Sessions 1. & 2. Introduction to Class
     Class Summary:
     Gather information on student knowledge, attitudes and behaviors through the pre-
     test. Learn about the individual students and what they’d like to get from the
     class. Introduce the class goals and content. Create a class contract with rules to
     encourage a safe environment.

     Learner Outcomes:
     To make the class members begin to feel comfortable with one another and the
     teachers and to introduce class content and expectations.

     Materials Needed:
     Student pre-tests
     Notebooks or paper and folders for students to use for writing
     Flipchart or board to write on



Class Activities:
1. Before class, or sometime during class, have students fill out the pre-test (see
Appendix A).


2. Introductions: do an ice-breaker to help everyone remember one another’s names


3. What Is TDV?
   a. Put students into pre-determined groups, which they will work in during the year
   b. Have students define or describe teen dating violence (TDV) and discuss what
      teens can do to help prevent teen dating abuse.
   c. Have one student from each group report out


4. Student goals and expectations: Hand out folders and paper. Students should
write down goals they have in this class, what they are interested in learning about or
doing.


 5. Explain Class goals and expectations:
    a. Class Goals: Increase students’ understanding about teen dating violence, their
knowledge about healthy relationships, and skills to deal with both. Allow students to
be agents of change and increase their confidence though presentations.
                                                                                            5


    b. Class Content: Hand out and go over syllabus. Stress that class sessions focusing
on gender beliefs and behaviors and the impact these may have on relationships may be
challenging for some students. We’ll be questioning some assumptions and beliefs that
could cause discomfort, but in the end can result in healthier relationships.

    c. Expectations: We have to have a safe, supportive space for students to learn,
explore, and work on change. How to achieve this? Class contract.
    We need to feel safe with one another
    We’re trying to prevent violence, so it would be sad for anyone to fear another
       YAC member’s responses, such as through mean comments and looks
    What rules should we all agree to following – in and out of class?
    Everyone write down
    Share and create a contract on flipchart paper
    Hang in classroom


6. Relationship Advice Activity
   a. Directions to students:
       Individually write down a piece of relationship advice that you received from
          adults.
       In groups, compare advice. Similar? Different?
       One person per group share what you were told and how it compares.

   b. If you didn’t get much advice from adults, on what information or advice have
you based your relationships?

    c. Point: we aren’t given much or particularly good advice about how to “do”
relationships. Mostly we model what we see, which may be good or bad, or both.
The YAC is a chance to decide what YOU want in a relationship.


7. Retreat: Explain that the Retreat is held outside of classtime and away from the
school. Outline the Retreat’s content and give necessary instructions. NOTE: If it is
impossible to have a retreat, it will be necessary to cover the information during class.
                                                                                         6



                                    YAC Retreat
Goals: Help the students get to know one another and the teachers better. Students
will learn information about teen dating violence used throughout the year.

Materials:
“Power and Control in Dating Relationships” Wheel (R&TT, p. 3.19)
“Equality in Dating Relationships” (R&TT, p. 3.20)
“What You Need to Know” information sheets
20-30’ rope
Cycle of Violence diagram (sheet at end of agenda)
“Kathy’s Story” (Reaching & Teaching Teens [R&TT], p. 3.22+)
“He Only Wanted To Help Me” (R&TT, p. 3.22+)                         use unless having
“Melissa’s Story” (R&TT, p. 3.22+)                                    a survivor speak
 “Mark and Jillian” (Sunburst: Dating Violence and Abuse)
 “Becoming An Active Listener/Fighting Fair” (sheet at end of agenda)
 “Styles of Behavior” (Feeling Safe & Standing Strong [FS&SS], p. 152-153)


 I. Welcome and Opening Activity (9:00-9:30)
    A. Housekeeping Information

    B. Explain the session may be intense and students should take care of themselves –
including speaking with one of the teachers and leaving the room, if necessary

    C. Ice-breaker

    D. Awareness Activity (at the end of this agenda)


 II. Abusive Relationships: Definitions and Prevalence (9:30-10:30)
     A. Activity: Divide class into 3-4 teams. Have teams choose a team name. Do the
“What Do You Know?” Quiz (at the end of this agenda).

     B. After: Hand out copies of “What You Need to Know” (information from the
Quiz), plus the “Equality in Dating Relationships” and Power and Control Wheel sheets
for students to keep as a reference.

    C. Purpose of YAC: understand and work to prevent dating violence, including in
our own relationships, and gain skills needed for healthy relationships.


Energizer: “Rope” Activity (Need a 20-30’ rope and blindfolds)
   Purpose: Have fun; get students working together; see which natural leaders come
forward.
    Lay out 20-30’ rope on the floor in a circle. The ends should be tied together.
                                                                                                     7

      Blindfold 4-6 students after they stand equidistant around the outside of the rope.
      All at the same time, blindfolded students should pick up the rope and then
       attempt to create a square with it. They can speak to one another, but no hints
       or suggestions should be given by observers.
      Give students about 5-10 minutes and then have them remove their blindfolds.
      Repeat with remaining students.


Section III is as follows, or can be addressed instead by having a TDV survivor address the class.
After the survivor’s talk, a teacher can tease out much of the same information. Such a talk
has a strong impact on teens.


III. Teen Dating Violence (11:00-12:00)
    A. Cycle of Violence: How an abusive relationship “works” [Refer to the Cycle of
Violence diagram (ITwT, p. 55).]
       1. In pairs or triads read victims’ stories to see this cycle in action. Use:
          a. “Kathy’s Story” (R&TT, p. 3.22+)
          b. “He Only Wanted To Help Me” (R&TT, p. 3.22+)
          c. “Melissa’s Story” (R&TT, p. 3.22+)
          d. “Mark and Jillian” (Sunburst Student Workshop: Dating Violence and
              Abuse)

      2. From the stories find examples of when each stage occurs (if possible), the
impact on the victims, and reasons why they stayed

   B. Focusing on Victims
      1. As a whole group, discuss the impact of abuse on victims. Include:
         a. lowered self-esteem and self-confidence
         b. physical and psychological injury
         c. isolation; dependence on the abuser
         d. death
         e. a study found that females who were experiencing dating abuse were 8-9
times more likely to have attempted suicide in the previous year

       2. As a whole, discuss why victims start/continue unhealthy relationships
          a. Victims start them because they’re attracted to other person. They may
have low self-esteem and be looking for a relationship to feel better about themselves
          b. Victims stay in abusive relationships because:
              Childhood experiences: abused themselves, having seen domestic abuse
              Low self-esteem (which can also be an effect of abuse)
              Lack of experience, unaware that all relationships aren’t like this
              Friends, relatives encouraging the relationship
              They still love their partner & perhaps think love can stop the abuse
              The “Honeymoon” phase of the cycle of abuse -- with its apologies,
                 presents, and promises it’ll never happen again -- can lure the abused
                 to stay
              Worry about ruining their partner’s future
              “Brainwashing” by the abuser, e.g. thinking the abuse is their fault
                                                                                            8

                For teens: concern that telling parents or authorities would result in a
                 loss of independence
                Belief in traditional gender stereotypes, e.g. need to be in a couple,
                 males should be in power

 C. Focusing on Abusers
      1. As a whole, discuss why people abuse. Include:
          a. Childhood experiences: many abusers saw domestic abuse, or they were
abused themselves.
          b. They are following traditional gender stereotypes. Gender beliefs and
behaviors will be a major topic in the YAC class.
          c. Make clear male and females are abusive.

        2. In pairs or triads come up with five warning signs of an abuser. Create a chart
of signs. (Refer to Choose Respect’s “Dating Abuse Risk Factors and Warning Signs”)


Lunch & Energizer (12-12:45)
      Energizer could be “Terrible Thumb Grab” or “Zoom/Mooz”


 IV. Having Healthy Relationships (12:45-2:45)
     A. What experts say are the five most important aspects for a healthy relationship
are: trust, honesty, caring, respect and communication.

    B. Communication
       1. For most people, communication is the hardest. Why? Several reasons:
          a. We aren’t taught good com’n skills
          b. We are usually thinking of our response (not the other’s comments)
          c. Males aren’t not encouraged to communicate, which is seen as feminine

        2. Active Listening
           a. Elements of Active Listening (Use “Becoming An Active Listener” sheet at
end of agenda)
           b. Teachers role-play bad example
           c. Pair up students for practice using the following scenarios:
                  One of your friends has been talking about you behind your back
                  You’re concerned that your best friend has a drinking problem
                  You have an argument with your parents about your friends
                  You are concerned about a family member’s substance abuse issues
                  A friend is pressuring you to do something you don’t want to
                  Your friend just broke up with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend


          3. Communication Styles
             a. Do students know their communication style when it comes to conflict?
How do they react: passively, aggressively, passive-aggressively, or assertively? Use
“Styles of Behavior” (FS&SS, p. 152-153)
                                                                                           9


    C. Relationships And Conflict (1:45-2:45)
       1. All relationships involve conflict -- it’s normal, to an extent. No two people
agree on everything and all relationships deal with problems.

         2. How can we resolve conflict and in the process maintain and even strengthen
our relationships? One question to ask yourself: when you are in a conflict, are you
trying to solve the problem or win the argument and be dominant?

       3. Our Personal Conflict Resolution Style
          a. Have students think about a recent argument or problem they had with
someone. Have them write down how they responded, e.g. by negotiating, running
away, suggesting a compromise, yelling, using sarcasm or put-downs.

           b. How does their communication style -- passive, aggressive, passive-
aggressive, and assertive – affect their conflict resolution style?
          How the different communication styles might respond to a conflict:
Passive             Aggressive            Passive-Aggressive            Assertive
Silence             Yell                  Sulking                       Listening
Acquiescence        Anger                 Talk w/someone else           Questioning
No opinion          Laughing              Sarcasm                       Non-blaming

           c. Overall, what grade would students give their conflict resolution style?


        4. Conflict Resolution Skills
           a. Ask students: What behaviors does a person use to win an argument?

           b. What behaviors does a person use to solve a problem?
               Active listening
               Show respect for other person
               Don’t interrupt or use negative non-verbals
               Show a willingness to solve the problem for mutual benefit

           c. Resolving Conflicts
               Acknowledge there’s a conflict or problem
               Agree to resolve it fairly (or agree to disagree)
               Make everyone’s thoughts and feelings clear by using active listening
                 skills
               Discuss options to resolve conflict and reactions to options
               Choose one option and check later to see if conflict is resolved

           d. Practice
                Ask for two volunteers to show arguing to win and then arguing to
             solve the problem.
                Scenario: they have conflicting ideas about what to do on Saturday.
                                                                                     10


Closing Activity (2:45-3:00)
      Possibilities:
           Go around in a circle with each person sharing one important thing they got
             from today, or
           Give the person to your left a compliment for something he or she said or
             did today
                                                                                         11


                              Power Differences Activity

Goal: Allow students to see how each of them, and all of them collectively, are
affected by power issues and violence.

Process: Students should line up on one end of the room, then take a step forward as
they respond to the statements below. After the last statement, ask students what they
notice about people’s positions. What kinds of power differences were brought up (size,
strength, sexual threat, economic threat)? Make the point that females and males are
affected by power differences).

Statements:
If you have ever not done something at night because you were afraid of being sexually
assaulted, please take one step forward.

If you have had someone make rude comments about your body or your sexuality, please
take one step forward.

If you have ever asked someone bigger than you are to walk with you because you feared
for your safety, please take one step forward.

If you have ever noticed someone cross the street, presumably because they were afraid
of you, please take one step forward.

If you have ever had someone who made you feel unsafe by the way they looked at you,
please take one step forward.

If you have ever wanted to harm someone (or actually done so) because they made a
sexual comment to a friend of yours, please take one step forward.

If you have ever done something you didn’t want to do because of someone who was
bigger than you, please take one step forward.

If you have been touched inappropriately at your workplace, please take one step
forward.
                                                                                           12



                         What Do You Know? Team Quiz
Answer True or False to the following:

1. Adults are at a higher risk of relationship abuse than teens.


2. Relationship abuse is the leading cause of injury and death to women in this country.


3. Females do not use physical violence in relationships.


 4. Relationship violence characterized by verbal abuse rarely progresses to physical
abuse.


5. Most teens will end a relationship if their boyfriend or girlfriend hits them.


6. People abuse their partners because they cannot control their anger.


7. Most males who abuse their partners grew up in violent homes.


 8. Relationship violence can include physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, and financial
abuse.


9. If a person is really being abused, it’s easy to just leave the violent partner.


10. Relationship abuse rarely happens in same-sex relationships.


11. Females between 25-34 years old are the most vulnerable to relationship violence,
compared to other age groups.


12. People who are the victims of abuse often blame themselves for their abuse.


13. In one study, 1 in 5 eighth and ninth graders reported relationship abuse.


14. Most teens in abusive relationships are likely to seek help from a trusted adult.
                                                                                           13


                           What Do You Know? Answers

 1. Adults are at a higher risk of relationship abuse than teens.
FALSE: Teens as young as middle school experience relationship violence. As many as
1/3rd of high school and college-aged youth have been abused in a relationship.

 2. Relationship abuse is the leading cause of injury and death to women in this country.
TRUE: Relationship violence is the #1 cause of injury to women between 15-44 in the
U.S.. Of the women murdered each year in the U.S., 30% are killed by their current or
former boyfriend or husband.

 3. Females do not use physical violence in relationships.
FALSE: In one study, female and male students (9th through 12th graders) reported equal
amounts of physical abuse from their opposite sex partners. That study from 2005 found
approximately 9% of both female and male students reported that in the last year, their
boyfriend or girlfriend “hit, slap, or physically hurt [them] on purpose.”

 4. Relationship violence characterized by verbal abuse rarely progresses to physical
abuse.
FALSE: Relationship violence tends to worsen over time.

 5. Most teens will end a relationship if their boyfriend or girlfriend hits them.
FALSE: After the onset of violence, nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused
will continue to date their abuser.

 6. People abuse their partners because they cannot control their anger.
FALSE: Abusers can control their anger with other people and use abuse to control their
partners.

 7. Most males who abuse their partners grew up in violent homes.
TRUE: Males who have witnessed violence between parents are three times more likely
to abuse their own wives and children. On the other hand, 70% of children growing up in
violent homes do not grow up to be abusive.

 8. Relationship violence can include physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, and financial
abuse.
TRUE

 9. If a person is really being abused, it’s easy to just leave the violent partner.
FALSE: An abused partner may not leave for numerous reasons, including fear, low self-
esteem, children, no job, no support network, and still loving their partner

10. Relationship abuse rarely happens in same-sex relationships.
FALSE
                                                                                        14


11. Females between 25-34 years old are the most vulnerable to relationship violence,
compared to other age groups.
FALSE: The most vulnerable age group is 16-24 years old, at almost three times the
national average.

12. People who are the victims of abuse often blame themselves for their abuse.
TRUE: Partly an effect of the abuse itself, wherein the victim is made to feel unworthy
and guilty for what is not their fault. However, being violent is a choice and so the
abuser is responsible for the abuse.

13. In one study, 1 in 5 eighth and ninth graders reported relationship abuse.
TRUE

14. Most teens in abusive relationships are likely to seek help from a trusted adult.
FALSE: In one study, only 25% of abused teens reported going to an adult for help.
                                                                                           15


                              What You Need To Know

 1. Teens as young as middle schoolers experience relationship violence. As many as
1/3rd of high school and college-aged youth have been abused in a relationship.

 2. Relationship abuse is the leading cause of injury and death to women in this country.
Relationship violence is the #1 cause of injury to women between 15-44 in the U.S.. Of
the women murdered each year in the U.S., 30% are killed by their current or former
boyfriend or husband.

 3. Females can be abusive, more often using emotional abuse, but also being physically
violent.

 4. Relationship violence tends to begin with verbal abuse then progress to physical
abuse. Relationship violence tends to worsen over time.

 5. After the onset of violence, nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused will
continue to date their abuser.

 6. Abusers can control their anger with other people and use abuse to control their
partners.

 7. Most males who abuse their partners grew up in violent homes. Males who have
witnessed violence between parents are three times more likely to abuse their own
wives and children. On the other hand, 70% of children growing up in violent homes do
not grow up to be abusive.

 8. Relationship violence can include physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, and financial
abuse.

 9. An abused partner may not leave for numerous reasons, including fear, low self-
esteem, children, no job, no support network, and still loving their partner

10. Relationship abuse happens in same-sex relationships, just like in straight ones.

11. Females between 16-24 years are the most vulnerable to relationship violence, at
almost three times the national average, compared to other age groups.

12. People who are the victims of abuse often blame themselves for their abuse. Partly
an effect of the abuse itself, wherein the victim is made to feel unworthy and guilty for
what is not their fault. However, being violent is a choice and so the abuser is
responsible for the abuse.

13. In one study, 1 in 5 eighth and ninth graders reported relationship abuse.

14. In one study, only 25% of abused teens reported going to an adult for help.
                                                                     16



             CYCLE OF RELATIONSHIP
                   VIOLENCE

                              Stage 1:
                          Tension-Building
                          The abuser gradually
                          becomes edgy, easily
                               angered and
                              unpredictable.
                             The victim feels
                        apprehensive and may try
                          to mollify the abuser.



     Stage 3:
    Aftermath
                                                   Stage 2:
   The abuser may                                   Abuse
     apologize and
promise never to do                                The tension
 it again. He or she                             climaxes as the
 may try to make up                            abuser uses verbal,
 for the abuse using                           physical, or sexual
gifts. Or, the abuser                           abuse toward the
may blame the victim                                 victim.
    for causing the
         abuse.
                                                                                                    17


                                    Mark and Jillian
              (Two high school students in a relationship for about 6 months)
      (Script adapted from the video in Sunburst’s Student Workshop: “Dating Violence and Abuse”)



Scene: Outside school, before class
      Mark: “I wrote a song for Jillian. I’m going to give it to her.”
      Carlos: “Man, you’ve got it bad!”
      Mark: “There she is.”


Scene: Mark and Jillian on the phone
      Jillian: “I love the song. I’ve been playing it all day.”
      Mark: “Thanks. I’m glad you like it.”
      Jillian: “So what are you doing tonight?”
      Mark: “I’m going bowling with Carlos and his cousin. It’s kind of a guy’s night out.”
      Jillian: “Oh. Then I guess I hope you have fun.”
      Mark: “I hope you’re not mad. Maybe we can do something tomorrow.”
      Jillian (annoyed): “Yeah. Maybe. I’ll see you tomorrow.”


Scene: At the bowling alley
      Mark (seeing Jillian): “Hey! How’re you doing?”
      Jillian: “Great! I was just hanging around at home, so I thought I’d come over and
see you.”
      Mark: “Oh. I thought you didn’t like bowling.”
      Jillian: “Well, I’ve never really tried. (Flirtatiously) Maybe you can teach me?”
      Mark: “Maybe sometime. This is supposed to be a guy’s night out type of thing.”
      Jillian: “Are you guys going to like pick up girls or something?”
      Mark: “Come on, no way! You know I’d never cheat on you.”
      Frank (walking over to join them): “Jillian! I haven’t seen you around here lately.”
      Jillian: “What’s up, Frank! I haven’t been hanging out too much.”
      Frank: “Come play a game with us.”
      Jillian: “I’ve never really played…”
      Frank: “Who cares? Come on over.”
      Jillian: “Yeah, maybe I will.” (Frank leaves and Jillian turns to Mark) “I used to go
out with him.”
      Mark: “I figured something like that.”
      Jillian: “Well, I guess I’ll go play with my friends if you’re too busy.”
      Mark: “You know it’s not like that. Come on, let’s get you some shoes.”


Scene: Mark and Jillian outside of bowling alley
      Jillian (annoyed): “If you have something to say, you could say it out loud.”
      Mark: “What? What’d I say? I wasn’t saying anything wrong!”
                                                                                            18


Scene: Mark and Jillian on the phone
      Mark: “Jillian? I didn’t want to leave for the weekend with you so mad.”
      Jillian: “Yeah. Whatever.”
      Mark: “Are you crying? What’s wrong?”
      Jillian: “I don’t know. I’m just really depressed. Can you come over?”
      Mark: “They’re coming to get me right now.”
      Jillian: “Fine. I knew you really didn’t care. Nobody does. I don’t even care
anymore. I wish I were dead.”
      Mark: “What are you talking about, Jillian? Don’t talk like that.”
      Jillian: “Like you care.”
      Mark: “I do care.”
      Jillian: “Look, don’t worry about it, okay? If I’m dead tomorrow, it’s not your
problem.”


Scene: Mark talking to his friend preparing to leave for the weekend
      Mark: “I’ve got to go to Jillian’s right now.”
      Carlos: “What about the camping trip?”
      Mark: “I can’t go. Can you take me over to her house? It’s really important.”
      Carlos: “I don’t believe this!... Alright.”
      Mark: “Thanks, man.”


Scene: Mark and Jillian at her house
       Jillian: “Thanks so much for coming over on Friday. I know I was a little bit of a
drama queen. And I’m sorry you missed your trip.”
       Mark: “It’s okay. As long as you’re all right. Listen, we’ve got to talk.”
       Jillian: “Why, what’s up?”
       Mark: “You know I like you, but I have to have some time to hang out with my
friends without you getting upset.”
       Jillian: “Are you breaking up with me?”
       Mark: “No. I don’t want to break up. But still, I need some time to myself.”
       Jillian: “I don’t get it. Why don’t you want me around?”
       Mark: “I do want you around, just not all the time.”
       Jillian: “You really want to break up with me and you don’t have the guts to come
right out and do it. (Sarcastically) I’m really sorry for whatever I did.”


Scene: Mark and Jillian outside of school
       Jillian: “Hey, did you read my note?”
       Mark: “Yes.”
       Jillian: “So, what did you think?”
       Mark: “You know I care about you. I’m just confused. You really hurt me.
Honestly, I have never liked anyone as much as I like you, but… I don’t know.”
       Jillian: “Listen, if you take me back, I promise you can have as much time with your
friends as you want.”
                                                                                         19

                            Becoming An Active Listener
         It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be an active listener.
      Old communication habits are hard to break, but these new habits will help you
                          truly hear what the other person is saying,
               and will show the other person that you care about him or her.

Active Listening Tips
         Ask questions to show interest and to be sure you really understand what the
          other person means: “What do you mean when you say…”
         Encourage the speaker to continue with short verbal comments like “yes,” and
          “uh huh,” or nod occasionally.
         “Listen” to the speaker’s body language. Ask if you think they are getting upset,
          or don’t understand what you are trying to say.
         Look at the speaker directly, and use your body language and gestures to convey
          your attention.
         Don’t interrupt.

              Being an active listener is a tremendous gift to another person.



                                       Fighting Fair
  All relationships have conflict and arguments. People in healthy relationships work
                        these issues out together, so both “win.”

 Basic Ingredients for Fighting Fairly:
          Use active listening techniques
          Show respect for the other person
          Don’t interrupt or use negative non-verbals (like crossed arms, frowning)
          Show a willingness to resolve the issue for both of your benefit
          Aim to solve the problem – not win!
          Focus on the current issue – don’t bring up the past


 Steps in Resolving Conflicts:
          Acknowledge there’s a conflict or problem
          Agree to resolve it fairly (or agree to disagree)
          Let each person give their thoughts and feelings about the issue
          Discuss options to resolve the problem
          Talk through each of your reactions to these options
          Choose one option and put it into action
          Talk later to see if the option worked – is the conflict resolved?
          If the problem still exists, decide on a new solution and try it out
                                                                                     20

                            Active Listening Scenarios


You’re talking with your best friend who you think has a drinking problem.



Your boyfriend/girlfriend wants to break a date in order to do something you don’t
think is important, but he or she does.



Your friend tells you about breaking up with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend.




                              Fighting Fair Scenarios


You meet up with a friend you heard has been talking about you behind your back.



Your parents criticize your choice in friends.



You and your friends have conflicting ideas about what to do on Saturday.
                                                                                     21

 YAC Training Evaluation

1. What did you like about the training today?



2. What improvements could we make for the next training?



3. Do you think you know more about healthy and abusive relationships than you did
before the training?


4. What did you learn today that you didn’t know before?



5. What did you learn today that will be helpful in your everyday life?



6. What would you like to get out of being part of YAC?



                              YAC Training Evaluation
1. What did you like about the training today?



2. What improvements could we make for the next training?



3. Do you think you know more about healthy and abusive relationships than you did
before the training?


4. What did you learn today that you didn’t know before?



5. What did you learn today that will be helpful in your everyday life?



6. What would you like to get out of being part of YAC?
                                                                                        22

      Session 3. Review of Retreat/Conflict Resolution
    Class Summary:
    Review knowledge and skills gained at Retreat. Look at any lists created and make
    sure students have grasped basic information about relationship violence. If Active
    Listening and Conflict Resolution sections weren’t covered sufficiently, finish up.
    Create rules for classroom disagreements and practice conflict resolution.

    Learner Outcomes:
    Class members will feel well-informed about relationship violence. Students will
    understand expectations for resolving conflicts in class.

    Materials Needed:
    Scenarios (at end of agenda) cut up


Class Activities:
1. Retreat Review
   a. What one thing from the Retreat has stuck in your minds?
       How did your feelings about being in YAC change?
       What one thing related to TDV do you think is important for YAC members to let
other teens know?

    b. Put up any lists created at the Retreat. Have students read through them and ask
for additions or if there are any questions.


2. Conflict Resolution for YAC Class
   a. Create a chart with Basic Rules For Resolving Conflicts or for the class. Hang up.

   b. How To Resolve Conflicts (reminder from Retreat)
       Acknowledge there’s a conflict or problem
       Agree to resolve it fairly (or agree to disagree)
       Make everyone’s thoughts and feelings clear by using active listening skills
       Discuss options to resolve conflict and reactions to options
       Choose one option and check later to see if conflict is resolved

   c. Practice Scenarios
       You are in a small group having a discussion about males and females and
         another student says something that is the exact opposite of what you think is
         correct.
       You are working in a team on one part of a YAC presentation and think one of
         the activities planned is silly and you’d feel stupid doing it. The other
         students and the teachers like it.
       You are feeling like males are getting put down in class.
                                                                               23

You are in a small group having a discussion about males and females and
another student says something that is the exact opposite of what you think is
correct.

You are working in a team on one part of a YAC presentation and think one of
the activities planned is silly and you’d feel stupid doing it. The other
students and the teachers like it.

You are feeling like males are getting put down in class



You are in a small group having a discussion about males and females and
another student says something that is the exact opposite of what you think is
correct.

You are working in a team on one part of a YAC presentation and think one of
the activities planned is silly and you’d feel stupid doing it. The other
students and the teachers like it.

You are feeling like males are getting put down in class



You are in a small group having a discussion about males and females and
another student says something that is the exact opposite of what you think is
correct.

You are working in a team on one part of a YAC presentation and think one of
the activities planned is silly and you’d feel stupid doing it. The other
students and the teachers like it.

You are feeling like males are getting put down in class



You are in a small group having a discussion about males and females and
another student says something that is the exact opposite of what you think is
correct.

You are working in a team on one part of a YAC presentation and think one of
the activities planned is silly and you’d feel stupid doing it. The other
students and the teachers like it.

You are feeling like males are getting put down in class
                                                                                       24

                 Sessions 4. & 5. Intervention Skills
    Class Summary:
    Introduce and practice two communication techniques: the “Care-frontation,”
    useful for offering help to family or friends who are, or may be, in unhealthy
    relationships, and bystander techniques, useful when witnessing abusive behaviors.

    Learner Outcomes:
    Class members will learn about and practice the Care-frontation and bystander
    techniques and feel better prepared to respond to TDV.

    Materials Needed:
    “Care-frontations” (at end of agenda) cut up
    Care-frontation Scenarios (at end of agenda) cut up
    Intervention Strategies (at end of agenda)
    Intervention Scenarios (at end of agenda)


Class Activities:

1. Intervening With Friends and Family
   a. What can you do if you think – or know – that someone you care about is being
abused? Use a “Care-frontation.” Also helpful with bringing up other issues.
   b. Hand out copies of the Care-frontation (at end of agenda)
   c. Teachers: Role play an example of using a Care-frontation
   d. Practice in pairs or teams
       You think your best friend may be in an abusive relationship
       You are concerned about your younger brother’s relationship with his
         girlfriend. She’s constantly putting him down, while demanding all his time
         and attention.
       You are concerned that your best friend has a drinking problem


2. Bystander Intervention Strategies
   a. Useful for responding to TDV and gender stereotyping.

   b. First Rule: YAC members should keep themselves safe!

   c. Use Intervention Strategies from A Call To Men (at end of agenda) to role-play the
Intervention Scenarios (at end of the agenda) and/or have students create scenarios
from their own experiences and role play in front of class*



   * Write down these scenarios for possible use in YAC presentations
                                                                                           25


When you’re worried about someone, but          When you’re worried about someone, but
don’t know what to say, use the following in    don’t know what to say, use the following in
a conversation, on the phone, or in a letter:   a conversation, on the phone, or in a letter:
 Say you care about him or her.                 Say you care about him or her.
 Explain what you are worried about.            Explain what you are worried about.
 LISTEN, if he or she wants to talk.            LISTEN, if he or she wants to talk.
 Say you want to help.                          Say you want to help.
 Explain what you will do – something           Explain what you will do – something
    specific, or wait until you’re asked.         specific, or wait until you’re asked.

When you’re worried about someone, but          When you’re worried about someone, but
don’t know what to say, use the following in    don’t know what to say, use the following in
a conversation, on the phone, or in a letter:   a conversation, on the phone, or in a letter:
   Say you care about him or her.               Say you care about him or her.
   Explain what you are worried about.          Explain what you are worried about.
   LISTEN, if he or she wants to talk.          LISTEN, if he or she wants to talk.
   Say you want to help.                        Say you want to help.
   Explain what you will do – something         Explain what you will do – something
    specific, or wait until you’re asked.           specific, or wait until you’re asked.

When you’re worried about someone, but          When you’re worried about someone, but
don’t know what to say, use the following in    don’t know what to say, use the following in
a conversation, on the phone, or in a letter:   a conversation, on the phone, or in a letter:
                                                 Say you care about him or her.
   Say you care about him or her.
                                                 Explain what you are worried about.
   Explain what you are worried about.
                                                 LISTEN, if he or she wants to talk.
   LISTEN, if he or she wants to talk.
                                                 Say you want to help.
   Say you want to help.
                                                 Explain what you will do – something
   Explain what you will do – something
                                                    specific, or wait until you’re asked.
    specific, or wait until you’re asked.


When you’re worried about someone, but          When you’re worried about someone, but
don’t know what to say, use the following in    don’t know what to say, use the following in
a conversation, on the phone, or in a letter:   a conversation, on the phone, or in a letter:
                                                 Say you care about him or her.
   Say you care about him or her.
                                                 Explain what you are worried about.
   Explain what you are worried about.
                                                 LISTEN, if he or she wants to talk.
   LISTEN, if he or she wants to talk.
                                                 Say you want to help.
   Say you want to help.
                                                 Explain what you will do – something
   Explain what you will do – something
                                                    specific, or wait until you’re asked.
    specific, or wait until you’re asked.
                                                                                         26


                               Care-frontation Scenarios
You think your best friend may be in an abusive relationship.

You are concerned about your younger brother’s relationship with his girlfriend. She’s
constantly putting him down, while demanding all his time and attention.

You are concerned that your best friend has a drinking problem.


You think your best friend may be in an abusive relationship.

You are concerned about your younger brother’s relationship with his girlfriend. She’s
constantly putting him down, while demanding all his time and attention.

You are concerned that your best friend has a drinking problem.


You think your best friend may be in an abusive relationship.

You are concerned about your younger brother’s relationship with his girlfriend. She’s
constantly putting him down, while demanding all his time and attention.

You are concerned that your best friend has a drinking problem.


You think your best friend may be in an abusive relationship.

You are concerned about your younger brother’s relationship with his girlfriend. She’s
constantly putting him down, while demanding all his time and attention.

You are concerned that your best friend has a drinking problem.


You think your best friend may be in an abusive relationship.

You are concerned about your younger brother’s relationship with his girlfriend. She’s
constantly putting him down, while demanding all his time and attention.

You are concerned that your best friend has a drinking problem.


You think your best friend may be in an abusive relationship.

You are concerned about your younger brother’s relationship with his girlfriend. She’s
constantly putting him down, while demanding all his time and attention.

You are concerned that your best friend has a drinking problem.
                                                                                         27



                    Intervention Strategies
                            If you notice signs of abuse, don’t ignore them.
                     Here are some strategies to confront anyone whose behavior is
                                    damaging to those around them.


The “I” Statement
Focuses on your feelings instead of criticizing.
Example:
“I feel ______ when you ______. Please _______ (how you want them to respond).”


Humor
Diffuses tension in an intervention. Use if you can be witty, but non-confrontational.

The Group Intervention
Sends a strong message and increases your safety. Works best when someone has a
clear pattern of being abusive. Emphasizes that many people have noticed the
behavior and care.

The “Bring It Home” Statement
Makes people think about the impact of their actions or hurtful words.
Examples:
“I hope no one ever talks about you like that.”
“What if someone said that about your girlfriend/boyfriend/sister/friend?”


The “We’re Friends, Right?” Statement
Makes a confrontation more friendly and non-critical.
Example:
“As your friend, I have to tell you that I’m worried about how you treat Chris.”


Distraction
Most effective for strangers or “street harassment.”
Example:
If a man is harassing women on the sidewalk, ask for directions or the time.


The Silent Stare
Sometimes a look can be more powerful than words.
Example:
When someone says something offensive, catch their eye to communicate disapproval.
                                                                                      28


                            Intervention Scenarios

1. You’re watching a movie at home with a friend and he starts calling the female
characters rude names and talking crudely about their bodies.


2. You’re at a fast food restaurant with some friends when you hear a male at a
nearby table loudly putting down the female he’s with.


3. A female you’re kind of familiar with makes rude jokes at the expense of her
boyfriend, who is a friend of yours.


4. You’re noticing that lately a friend of yours keeps texting her boyfriend to see
where he’s at and who he’s with.


5. You’re walking downtown with some friends when you see a male ahead of you
grab his female partner roughly by the arm and start yelling at her.




1. You’re watching a movie at home with a friend and he starts calling the female
characters rude names and talking crudely about their bodies.


2. You’re at a fast food restaurant with some friends when you hear a male at a
nearby table loudly putting down the female he’s with.


3. A female you’re kind of familiar with makes rude jokes at the expense of her
boyfriend, who is a friend of yours.


4. You’re noticing that lately a friend of yours keeps texting her boyfriend to see
where he’s at and who he’s with.


 5. You’re walking downtown with some friends when you see a male ahead of you
        grab his female partner roughly by the arm and start yelling at her.
                                                                                               29


         Sessions 6. & 7. Personal Assessment and Goals
     Class Summary:
     Students will fill in “My Island” sheets* to assess their current lives and one or more
     Goal sheets to set objectives to do with current or potential relationships.

     Learner Outcomes:
     Class members will think about their lives and, using the “My Island” sheets, identify
     their strengths, supports, problems, and hopes. Using their “Goal” sheets, students
     will choose one or more goals related to relationships, list steps needed to achieve
     them, and fill in potential obstacles to reaching those goals.

     Materials Needed:
     “My Island” sheets
     Goal sheets
     Change cards


Class Activities:

1. Thinking About Our Lives and Relationships
    a. Explain that the class will be working on sheets that ask students to think about
different aspects of their lives.

     b. Pass out “My Island”* copies and use the explanatory sheet (both at end of agenda)
to introduce what the parts of the illustration ask for. Give the class about 20 minutes to
fill the sheet in, walking around and making sure questions are answered.


2. Thinking About Our Goals
   a. Pass out copies of the Goal sheet.

     b. Students should look at their islands, especially their “Garden,” to find possible
goals. Encourage goals having to do with relationships. Give the class about 20 minutes to
fill this sheet in, walking around and making sure questions are answered.


3. Making Changes
   a. Pass out a “change card” to each student and read through the stages of making
change
   b. Point of the card is for student to see where he or she is at in working toward
making a permanent change
   c. Point out that change is difficult and they should be pleased with making small steps

*Adapted from Wise Women Gathering’s original
30
                                                                                                 31




                      “MY ISLAND” Explanatory Sheet
   Your Island: This is where you live, the center of your world.
      While you cannot control everything in your life, you can
      control how much energy you give to the different people,
      problems and things you encounter in your world.




                     Your House: Where you keep all the most important and most positive
                       people, things, and memories for you. It is a safe place where you
                       can go to de-stress, feel protected, and remind yourself of your
                       strengths and supports.



    The Sun: Your sources of inspiration and hope. These can be people,
        music, books, art, ideas and beliefs that encourage you.



                            Your Garden: What you are hoping will grow or you want to
                               make better in your life. This is the place to “plant” goals
                               like improving skills and talents, enriching relationships, or
                               learning more in order to get a better job. This is where to
                               put what you will actively work to improve.




   Sanctuary: This is where you can put things in your life that bother you,
      but that you need to put aside, at least for awhile. Here is the place
      for serious problems that you can’t control, or need to take a break from
      in order to be healthy. This allows you to not think about these problems
      constantly and so get on with the rest of your life. When you are ready,
      you can visit your Sanctuary and work on these problems.




Note: A person, thing or idea sometimes fits in more than one spot. For example, there may be a
person you care a lot about, so he or she fits in your “house.” At the same time, he or she may be
causing you problems that you can’t solve right now. This person could therefore also go into your
“sanctuary.”
32
                                                                                           33


                           “MY GOAL” Explanatory Sheet
1. Think about relationships you currently are in –- they can be with friends and romantic
partners -- and the basic characteristics that make a relationship healthy:
      Communication – are you an active listener and problem-solver? In an argument, do
      you want to win or work it out to your mutual benefit?
      Respect -- Do you listen to and respect your friend or partner’s opinion even when
      you disagree? Do you avoid using put-downs and “talking down” to him or her?
      Trust -- Do you believe your friend or partner respects you and your relationship
      and so will not cheat? Can the same be said about you?
      Honesty -- Do you tell the truth to your friend or partner? Do you allow your friend
      or partner to be who she or he is and not closer to an ideal you have?
      Caring -- Is there genuine affection and liking between the two of you? Do you
      convey that to your friend or partner in a way she or he likes?

2. Choose a goal for a particular relationship. Make it as concrete and specific as possible.
For example, if you want to work on your communication skills, such as not turning an
argument into a fight, pick one behavior to change. One example could be: “I will not
shout during an argument with _______.” Write this on the bottom of your Goal sheet.

3. Think about the steps you need to take to achieve your Goal. Change comes easiest in
small, doable steps, so break your Goal into stages and write them next to the path’s
segments. For example, if you want to act more respectfully to a friend, your Goal could
be: “When teasing my friend, I will stop calling him/her _____.” Steps along the path to
this Goal might be:
    Step 1: “I will work to hear myself use that name for my friend.” Step 2 could be: “I
will try to stop myself while I’m using that name.” Step 3: “I will work on catching myself
before I use that name and substitute something more respectful.”

4. Now consider what obstacles you are likely to encounter on the path to your Goal.
What is likely to get in your way? Old habits? Pressure from others not to change?
Reactions from your partner or friend? Put these along your path and think about how you
will deal with them.

5. Who or what can help you work toward your Goal? Your friend or partner might be a
source of support; what about a family member or teacher? Are there other places that
you can get help making change – anything listed on your “My Island” sheet? Write sources
of support in the clouds.

6. Next, write the behavior you want to be using when you reach your Goal in the sun. For
the above examples these might be: “I use a calm voice when arguing” or “I call my friend
____ (respectful name).

7. Lastly, write a date for achieving your goal underneath it.

8. Remember, change is challenging and habits are hard to transform. With support and
patience, though, you can have the kind of relationships you want!
                                                                                      34



      How Change Happens                         How Change Happens
1. I have a habit ____________________,    1. I have a habit ____________________,
   I’ve decided to change. What I’ll          I’ve decided to change. What I’ll
   do instead: ______________________.        do instead: ______________________.

2. I realized afterwards that I just       2. I realized afterwards that I just
   _______________. I need to remind          _______________. I need to remind
   myself to ________________ instead.        myself to ________________ instead.

3. If I realize while doing it that I am   3. If I realize while doing it that I am
    __________________ I will STOP and         __________________ I will STOP and
    ___________________ instead!               ___________________ instead!

4. I realized before it happened that      4. I realized before it happened that
   I might ___________________, so I          I might ___________________, so I
   ____________________ instead.              ____________________ instead.

5. I’m always using my new behavior --     5. I’m always using my new behavior --
   I have a new habit!                        I have a new habit!

      How Change Happens                         How Change Happens
1. I have a habit ____________________,    1. I have a habit ____________________,
   I’ve decided to change. What I’ll          I’ve decided to change. What I’ll
   do instead: ______________________.        do instead: ______________________.

2. I realized afterwards that I just       2. I realized afterwards that I just
   _______________. I need to remind          _______________. I need to remind
   myself to ________________ instead.        myself to ________________ instead.

3. If I realize while doing it that I am   3. If I realize while doing it that I am
    __________________ I will STOP and         __________________ I will STOP and
    ___________________ instead!               ___________________ instead!

4. I realized before it happened that      4. I realized before it happened that
   I might ___________________, so I          I might ___________________, so I
   ____________________ instead.              ____________________ instead.

5. I’m always using my new behavior --     5. I’m always using my new behavior --
   I have a new habit!                        I have a new habit!
                         35




      UNIT 2:
    ROOT CAUSES
         OF
TEEN DATING   VIOLENCE
                                                                                          36


            Session 8. & 9. Introduction to “KABBs”
   Class Summary: Introduce the idea that how we “do” relationships is guided by
   our “KABBs” – our Knowledge, Attitudes, Beliefs, and Behavior – which are determined
   in part by where and when we live and which can be changed. Use activities and
   students’ input to explain this fundamental, but difficult, idea.

   Learner Outcomes: Class members will begin to understand the concept of
   KABBs.

   Materials Needed:
   Flipchart paper with “KABBs” written out and what each letter stands for.


Class Activities:

1. “Hot Dogs For Breakfast”
   a. Who here had hot dogs for breakfast today?
   b. Who had toast, sausage, maybe an Egg McMuffin?
   c. Aren’t those foods similar to hot dogs?
   d. Why do most of us go “ew” about hot dogs for breakfast? (Because they’re usually
not part of our upbringing and current lives. They aren’t part of our assumptions and
behaviors. We didn’t get “taught” that hot dogs are for breakfast.)


2. Introduction to “KABB’s”
   a. Today we begin to look at why people have the kinds of relationships that they do,
so we can understand why there is TDV and then work to prevent it.

   b. To do that we need to consider what’s typically in people’s heads, the ideas and
assumptions we have that cause us to act in certain ways.

   c. We just did that by talking about what we think is “normal” to eat for breakfast:
assumptions and behaviors that we usually don’t think about, but which guide what we
eat every morning.

   d. What we are going to be discussing are “KABB’s” -– knowledge, attitudes, beliefs,
and behaviors. (Refer to flipchart)

    e. Not everyone has the same KABBs. For example, my KABBs about anything -- from
flossing teeth to romance -- might be different from yours. Why? (Because of my past
experiences, my sex, where I grew up, my socioeconomic background, etc.)
                                                                                         37


3. KABBs Activity
   a. Have 4 large flipchart sheets hung up around the room, with the headings:
Teens      Males        Females        CVHS Students

   b. Give each student a marker and explain they all need to write at least one
descriptive word that they encounter about each of the groups. They don’t need to
agree with that word, just that they hear/see it regularly.

   c. Allow about 5 minutes, then have each group’s descriptors read aloud. Ask for
reactions from students. Are the descriptors fair or complete?

    d. “These descriptors involve Knowledge (which may be correct or not), Attitudes,
and Beliefs, all of which lead people to certain Behaviors. Like what, especially in a
relationship?” (For example, employers might be hesitant about hiring CVHS students
because of the assumptions some of the public have about them.)


4. YAC’s Goals
   a. Changing unhealthy KABBs is what YAC is all about: influencing people’s
assumptions that may lead to relationship violence. We will be looking at different areas
that have an impact on our KABBs and our relationships: power, gender, popular culture.

   b. Our assumptions can be changed: maybe you assumed hot dogs weren’t for
breakfast and now you’ve changed your mind and think they’d be OK.

    c. However, encouraging people to change their KABBs can cause a lot of resistance.
And YAC students will be challenged by some of what we talk about. That’s good, that is
a sign that you’re learning new things.


5. Assignment: Talk with a relative or friend who is at least 20 years older than you.
Ask them what they were taught about relationships and the opposite sex when they were
young. Write about 300 words reporting what they say and then comparing it with what
you were taught about relationships and the opposite sex.
                                                                                         38


                      Session 10. KABBs and Power
   Class Summary: Review and build on the idea of KABBs. Look at our assumptions
   about power and who has what kinds, paving the way for our analysis of gender and
   relationships.

   Learner Outcomes: Class members will consider their KABBs associated with
   different types of power. They will begin to understand how power and gender
   interrelate.

   Materials Needed:
   “Who Has the Power” (adapted from R&TT, p. B2-B3)
   Flipchart paper with “KABBs” and what each letter stands for written out


Class Activities:

1. Root Causes of TDV: Power
    a. A misuse of power underlies all forms of violence, from child abuse to wars to TDV.
Important: power in itself isn’t negative. All of us need a certain level of power, to feel
in control of our lives. The issue is how power is gotten and used.

    b. Activity: Pass out copies of “Who Has the Power” and have students make their
choices. Discuss their answers and reasons for their choices. When have they – or history
– seen a group on the list abuse their power?

   c. “As you watch TV and films consider that ‘bad,’ unlikable, or laughed-at characters
often draw on these markers of less power, e.g. a non-white, poor, unattractive gay
student.”


2. Power and Relationships
   a. A healthy relationship involves shared power.

   b. What kinds of power does each partner have? Who is taught they should have
power?

    c. Equal power is the ideal in any relationship. One partner may come into the
relationship on the more powerful side of the chart. Partners also come in with
expectations about themselves and the other person – their relationship KABBs.

   d. Activity: “Relationships Fishbowl”
       Purpose: Males and females will gain insight into each other’s experience of
         power and relationships as they listen to each other talking.
       Set Up: Place chairs in two concentric circles, one for males, the other for
         females.
                                                                                 39


   Rules: no put-downs of anyone’s comments, take turns, pass if you want, outer
    circle cannot speak to inner circle.
   Ask inner circle: “When have you felt pushed around – powerless – in a
    relationship?” (Listen for gender norms, or challenges) -- 5 minutes
   Ask inner circle: “When have you felt powerful in a relationship?” (Listen for
    gender norms, or challenges) -- 5 minutes
   Ask outer circle: “What words or phrases you just heard made an impression?”
    How did you feel? What surprised you?” -- 5 minutes
   Inner and outer circles switch and questions are repeated
   Debrief: “What did you learn about the other sex? What can you use to help
    you in your relationships?”
                                                                     40


                     Who Has the Power?
For each pair below, circle the group you feel has the most power:

1. Rich people                          Poor people

2. An employee                          A boss

3. Caucasians                           African-Americans

4. Popular middle schoolers             Unpopular middle schoolers

5. A child                              An adult

6. Patients                             Doctors

7. Attractive people                    Unattractive people

8. Students                             Teachers

9. Straight person                      Gay or lesbian person

10. Males                               Females


                     Who Has the Power?
For each pair below, circle the group you feel has the most power:

1. Rich people                          Poor people

2. An employee                          A boss

3. Caucasians                           African-Americans

4. Popular middle schoolers             Unpopular middle schoolers

5. A child                              An adult

6. Patients                             Doctors

7. Attractive people                    Unattractive people

8. Students                             Teachers

9. Straight person                      Gay or lesbian person

10. Males                               Females
                                                                                          41


         Sessions 11 & 12. KABBs and Gender Norms
   Class Summary: Continue checking if students understand the concept of KABBs.
   Look at dominant assumptions about gender and how they can feed into abusive
   relationships. A variety of activities is suggested and can be chosen to fit the students
   and the time available.

   Learner Outcomes: Class members will consider their KABBs associated with
   gender. They will begin to be critical about how people -– including themselves –-
   “do” gender.

   Materials Needed:
   “Gender Box” Activity (sheet at end of session)
   “The Ride Home” Activity (sheet at end of session)
    “Have You Ever…” (sheet at end of session)


Class Activities:

1. Root Causes of TDV: Unhealthy Gender Norms
   a. We are now going to spend some time looking at another root cause of TDV and an
underlying factor causing friction in healthy relationships as well: beliefs about gender
and how we should act, think, even feel as males and females.

   b. Warning: “Some students may find it unsettling to have fundamental beliefs about
themselves called into question. Be open to feeling uncomfortable. Don’t get angry, get
curious about your responses.”

   c. Sex vs. Gender
       This is a difficult, but important distinction
       Sex is what a person is physically; simply put, females have vaginas and males
         have penises. But each sex is then taught to act, think, even feel differently
         from one another.
       Gender refers to those actions, thoughts, feelings that are associated with
         males and females, that make people “masculine” or “feminine”


2. Gender Norms (choose one or more of the following activities)
   a. What does it mean to be masculine/feminine as a teen today? Activity: use the
“Gender Box” sheets. Place society’s ideals inside the boxes and challenges to gender
stereotypes outside the box.

    b. “Free Association” Activity: Read off the following list of words and have students
write down the first thing that comes into their minds. Have females respond to:
“Father, Boyfriend, Boy, Man, Male.” Have males respond to: “Female, Girlfriend,
                                                                                           42


Mother, Woman, Girl.” Compare within each group to see what stereotypes emerge.
Point out that we can learn attitudes and ideas from society, but not agree with them.

   c. Do “The Ride Home” to delve into stereotypes about gender and sexuality.
       Have students get into pairs or triads and complete “The Ride Home” sheet
       Do students fall into gender stereotyping? For example: sexy female = slut and
        deserving of violence, or males being allowed to use violence to protect or seek
        vengeance for females.

   d. How can unhealthy gender norms feed into abusive relationships? Activity:
“Construct” the “perfect” male and female, using characteristics inside the gender
boxes. Have students consider the relationship between the “perfect” male and female.
Would it be healthy? Would there be a power imbalance? How might unhealthy
expectations result in abuse?

   e. Have students fill in “Have You Ever…” and hand them in. Report how the males
and females responded at the next class session




3. Homework: Interview an adult about gender norms and relationships of their youth.
Write at least 500 words on what was learned, OR have students report the next class.
                                                                                          43



                     WHAT’S IT MEAN TO BE MASCULINE?




1. Inside the box, write how males are expected to act, look, and think in our society.
2. Around the outside, write what happens when a boy steps “outside the box” – acts
differently than a “typical” male.
                                                                                            44



                      WHAT’S IT MEAN TO BE FEMININE?




1. Inside the box, write how females are expected to act, look, and think in our society.
2. Around the outside, write what happens when a girl steps “outside the box” – acts
differently than a “typical” female.
                                                                                                                           45


                                               The Ride Home
Once upon a time, there was a 16 year old girl named Susan. Susan was dating a boy,
Isaac, who lived several miles away.

One night, Susan got ready to go to a party at Isaac’s house. She wanted to look sexy so
she wore a short, tight skirt and a low-cut shirt. However, she didn’t plan on drinking at
the party. She told her parents she was going to the movies with her best friend Sarah and
left to pick her up.

At the party her friend, Sarah, started drinking and pressured Susan into drinking as well.
She soon began feeling the effects of the alcohol. Susan went to ask Isaac for a ride home,
but Isaac replied, “I can’t leave until the party is over, find someone else to take you
home.”

So, Susan asked her friend, Russ, to give her a ride, but Russ said he couldn’t get involved
since Isaac might suspect something.

Feeling she had no alternative, Susan finally decided to call her neighbor, Mr. Smith, who
has always offered to do her favors. Susan sometimes felt uncomfortable around her
neighbor due to some comments he made, but it was just a ride home. She figured he
wouldn’t tell her parents where she was.

Mr. Smith arrived and Susan proceeded to ride home with him. Halfway home, Mr. Smith
stopped the car and told Susan he wanted to have sex with her. He also said if Susan
refused, he would tell her parents where she had been as well as call the police to bust the
party. Susan felt she had no other choice and did what he asked.

The next day, Susan called Isaac and told him what happened. Isaac blamed Susan for
everything, told her he never wanted to see her again, and hung up.

Devastated, Susan went to her older brother, Shane and told him about the break-up.
Enraged, Shane sought out Isaac and brutally beat him.

The next day, Susan attended school like nothing ever happened.

PUT THE CHARACTERS IN ORDER FROM MOST OFFENSIVE ACTIONS TO LEAST
OBJECTIONABLE ACTIONS.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

                                 Created by the LAVA Team of AVAIL, Antigo, Wisconsin, 2004
       Adapted from the Alligator River Story from Values Clarification. A Handbook of Practical Strategies for Teachers
                                                                                          46


         Sessions 13 & 14. Gender Norms and Language
   Class Summary: Continue looking at gender norms, particularly in language.

   Learner Outcomes: Class members will continue to consider their KABBs
   associated with gender. They will begin to be critical about how people –- including
   themselves –- “do” gender.

   Materials Needed:
   Copies of results from “Have You Ever…” survey, if done last session
   “Gender Speak” lines, cut up (at end of session)
   Large flipchart paper – two sheets
   Assignment sheets


Class Activities:

1. If the “Have You Ever…” survey was done, report on findings
   a. Similarities and differences between males and females?
   b. What finding seems most in need of change?


2. Gender & Language
    a. Let’s focus on one area that contributes to gender norms and violence: language

    b. How many students agree with the old saying “Sticks and Stones…”? Words do
hurt, they repeat in our heads and cause us to think and behave in certain ways. Let’s
consider how language can convey gender-related messages

    c. For example, what gender messages are contained in the quote below from a TIME
article on mental health problems in the military?
U.S. Army Specialist Ethan McCord helped to pull two wounded Iraqi children out of a
van caught in a fire fight, after seeing suspected insurgents blown up. He got the
children – who reminded him of his own kids -- to a hospital, but only one survived.
“That night, he told his staff sergeant he needed help. ‘Get the sand out of your
vagina,’ McCord says his sergeant responded. ‘He told me I was being a homo and
needed to suck it up.’” McCord didn’t seek help. “‘I decided to try to push it down and
bottle it up.’” He was plagued by flashbacks to what he’d seen. His anger grew, causing
him to respond to any mistakes made by the men under him by screaming at them.
(August 16, 2010)


3. Activities
    a. “Gender Speak” Activity
        Purpose: to make gendered language “strange” by having it said by the opposite
          sex and to consider what gender norms are being reinforced
                                                                                         47


         Ask for volunteers, or simply hand out the “Gender Speak” lines
         Students should create short scenarios in which these lines would make sense
         Afterwards: Discuss why the lines sounded odd, what assumptions are being
          challenged

   b. Activity: Gendered Put-Downs
      Put up two flipchart sheets, one with “Females” on the top, the other with
        “Males”
      Students should consider what they – or others -- get called because of how
        they “do” masculinity or femininity
      Give each student a marker and tell them to write these words on the
        appropriate sheet
      When finished, discuss what gender norms they see and what the potential
        impact on relationships could be
      After discussion, students can be invited to cross out or rip up words
        particularly hateful to them, ones they never want to hear again


4. Student Experience Of Gender Norms (Do one or more of the following)
   a. Activity: “Gender Fishbowl”
       Purpose: Males and females will gain insight into each other’s experience of
         gender as they listen to each other talking.
       Set Up: Place chairs in two concentric circles, one for males, the other for
         females.
       Rules: no put-downs of anyone’s comments, take turns, pass if you want, outer
         circle cannot speak to inner circle.
       Ask inner circle: “When have you felt that your sex allowed you to do
         something the opposite sex would not be able to do?” -- 5 minutes
       Ask inner circle: “When have you felt that your sex made it difficult or
         impossible for you to do something the opposite sex could have done?” -- 5
         minutes
       Ask inner circle: “What gender expectations do you fulfill? Which do you
         reject and what problems have you had because you rejected them?” -- 5
         minutes Ask outer circle: “What words or phrases you just heard made an
         impression? How did you feel? What surprised you?” -- 5 minutes
       Inner and outer circles switch and questions are repeated
       Debrief: “What did you learn about the other sex? What can you use to help
         you in your relationships?”


   b. Gender and Relationships (use as an activity, assignment or test) (at end of
session)

   c. Gender Assignment (at end of session)
                                                                48


                      Gender Speak


    Male asks Female: “Do these pants make me look fat?”



    Female coach asks injured female player during a game.
        “Are you hurt? Suck it up and keep playing!”



         First male is complaining about something.
       Second male responds “What are you, PMSing?”



Male asks Female: “What do you mean you want to learn ballet?
                   What are you, queer?”



                Male to Male talking in restroom.
      “I think you need to do something about your hair!”
                                                                                    49


                               YAC Class Assignment
                             Gender and Relationships

       Agree or disagree with the following and explain why, giving examples:

Some gender norms (for both males and females) are unhealthy and can even lead to
abusive relationships.
                                                                                     50


Gender Assignment




                What are little boys
                     made of?                    What are little girls
                                                     made of?
           Snakes and snails and     puppy
                      dog tails                  Sugar and spice and
           That's what little boys     are         everything nice
                     made of!                   That's what little girls
                                                    are made of!



  1. What gender assumptions are present in these children's nursery rhymes?




  2. Identify other ways in which gender differences and assumptions are continued
     through infants and children.
                                                                                       51


3. Identify the gender assumptions you received from your father or any dominant male
   in your life. Do the same with the gender messages you received from your mother,
   or dominant female in your life. Which of these gender assumptions have you
   adopted from both of these influences and which have you rejected?




4. What do you think it means to be male or female in the society in which you live?




5. Use your personal experiences in answering the following. Consider how gender
   messages influence or influenced:

   a. the gifts you have received
                                                                                   52


         b. others’ assumptions about your interests and hobbies




         c. moments when gender assumptions restricted your experiences




         d. moments when gender assumptions helped you in some way




         e. times when you challenged gender assumptions and stereotypes and the
         reactions of others to your challenge




Delta: Gender Activities. Adapted from Media 20 curriculum, saskschools.ca
                                                                                          53


         Sessions 15. & 16. Checking In/Social Action
   Class Summary: The purpose of this class is to pause and “check in” with the
   students to see how they are doing with their relationship goals and to address how
   they can help one another achieve the goal of YAC: preventing TDV.

   Learner Outcomes: Class members will consider how they feel about creating
   change –- in themselves and others -- related to TDV.

   Materials Needed:
   Each student’s “My Island” and Goal sheets, filled out during earlier class session
   KABBs visual (at end of session)
   YAC Pledge, if used (at end of session)


Class Activities:

1. Making Personal Changes
   a. Have students consider their Goal sheets and the progress they have made toward
their goals

   b. Have students write down where on their “paths” they are and what obstacles they
have faced and what they did in response

   c. As students finish writing, teachers should individually discuss their progress. This
could also happen outside of class time


2. Preventing TDV: Making Social Change
   a. Point out that social change is what YAC is all about: preventing TDV

   b. Social change begins with individual change. Begin to change the world by
changing yourself -- think small before thinking big:
       Inform yourself (what YAC is all about)
       Admit we all bear some responsibility in continuing the violence: we are all part
      of the problem
       Accept responsibility for changing things, making a small difference in each of
      our lives
       Act responsibly by modeling the change we want to see in the world


3. Continuing vs. Challenging KABBs
   a. Use the visual (at the end of the session) illustrating how our KABBs come from the
      knowledge, attitudes, beliefs and behaviors of the people in our lives, plus from
      societal knowledge, attitudes and beliefs
                                                                                         54


   b. Conversely, our knowledge, attitudes and beliefs, as shown through our behaviors,
      influence others’ –- and even society’s KABBs

   c. If we help to continue unhealthy KABBs, we can also help to change them


4. Role Modeling (do one or both of the following activities)
   a. First, make the point that YAC members are role models at school

   b. Have students answer the questions on the “Ripple Effects” sheet to gauge their
grasp of being a role model and commitment to YAC’s goals

   c. How To Hold Each Other Accountable
       “What should we expect from one another in terms of how we act in school, in
        YAC class and otherwise?”
       “How can we call one another on behaviors that encourage violence or gender
        stereotyping?” Generate a line YAC members can say to one another. Possible
        lines: “That’s not very YAC-like!” and “Hey, word-choice!”


5 Admit we aren’t going to see HUGE changes in response to our actions. BUT, compare
our “being the change we want to see” to a stone thrown in the water and the resulting
ripples. Our change may spur one other person’s change, which in turn helps yet another
person to be different


6. Hand out YAC Pledge (at end of session)
   a. This is a very conscious promise to be a positive role model and change agent
   b. Have students say the Pledge together, or sign and keep the cut up Pledges


7. For next class: bring in Sunday clothing ads from department stores, e.g. Penney’s,
Macy’s, etc., or from magazines the students have access to
                                                           55




KABBs of People in Our Lives               Societal KABs


                               Our KABBs
                                                                                         56



                                      Ripple Effects

Name ______________________                                       Date __________


1. How do your KABBs (knowledge, attitudes, beliefs and behaviors) about healthy
relationships and teen dating violence affect other students at CVHS? Give specific
examples.




2. What effect does not calling other YAC members on their violent or sexist behaviors, or
doing so in a sarcastic way, have on opinions about YAC and the students in it?
                                     57




I PLEDGE to never commit, condone
          or remain silent
      about an act of violence,
      whether verbal, physical,
        emotional or sexual.

I will CHALLENGE myself and others
          to be POWERFUL
  without making others powerless.

  I will work with others to END
       relationship VIOLENCE
          in my community.
                                                                                 58


 I PLEDGE to never commit, condone or remain silent about an act of violence,
whether verbal, physical, emotional or sexual.
   I will CHALLENGE myself and others to be POWERFUL without making others
powerless.
   I will work with others to END relationship VIOLENCE in my community.

  Signature                                     Date




  I PLEDGE to never commit, condone or remain silent about an act of violence,
whether verbal, physical, emotional or sexual.
  I will CHALLENGE myself and others to be POWERFUL without making others
powerless.
  I will work with others to END relationship VIOLENCE in my community.

  Signature                                     Date




  I PLEDGE to never commit, condone or remain silent about an act of violence,
whether verbal, physical, emotional or sexual.
  I will CHALLENGE myself and others to be POWERFUL without making others
powerless.
  I will work with others to END relationship VIOLENCE in my community.

  Signature                                     Date




  I PLEDGE to never commit, condone or remain silent about an act of violence,
whether verbal, physical, emotional or sexual.
  I will CHALLENGE myself and others to be POWERFUL without making others
powerless.
  I will work with others to END relationship VIOLENCE in my community.

  Signature                                     Date
                  59




    UNIT 3:
   INFLUENCE
      OF
POPULAR CULTURE
                                                                                           60


        Sessions 17. & 18. Introduction to Popular Culture
    Class Summary: Look at how gender norms are used in popular culture. Introduce
    the idea of “gender coding.”

    Learner Outcomes: Class members will understand that gender norms are
    continued – and sometimes challenged -- in popular culture and begin to develop
    their “media literacy” skills.

    Materials Needed:
    Sunday newspaper ads (like department store ads)
    If desired, presentation discussing gender norms in popular culture, such as:
             “Codes of Gender”
             “Killing Us Softly 3”      Available from Media Education Foundation
             “Tough Guise”                     www.mediaed.org

    Background Information:
    For background information about popular culture and gender norms, the above video
    productions are suggested.
    For basic to advanced information on media literacy and how to analyze popular
    culture, look at the Media Literacy Project at www.nmmlp.org (their introduction to
    media literacy is at the end of this session) and the handouts on the Media Education
    Foundation site (listed above).
    The Media Awareness site (from Canada) has some great writings on gender rep-
    resentation and its impact at www.media-awareness.ca.
    The Web has a lot of interesting sites devoted completely to advertising. Try
    www.about-face.org focusing on the portrayal of females in ads, as well as
    www.genderads.com. An entire curriculum about mass media, including a unit on
    gender representation was created for Canadian schools and can be accessed by going
    to www.saskschools.ca/curr_content/media20revision/unit1.html


 Class Activities:

  1. Popular Culture and Gender Norms
     a. One of the most important places that we find gender norms being upheld and
reinforced, but also sometimes challenged, is in popular culture. Teens are especially tied
into pop culture through their music, film/TV viewing and interest in celebrities.

    b. What is popular culture? List should include:
      Films, TV, Music, Advertising, Computer and Video Games

     c. We’ll be learning how to analyze different popular culture messages to see their
subtle messages about being masculine and feminine. We’ll then consider the impact of
these messages on relationships. Important: the gender norms we find tend to be re-
                                                                                             61


peated across different areas of popular culture, to the point of seeming to be “truth” or
“common sense.” That makes these messages very powerful and very hard to “see.”
Many students will feel unsettled and even angry as their assumptions are questioned.
That’s normal, but they need to keep an open mind and trust that the work is worthwhile.

   2. Activities: Making Gender Coding Obvious
      a. Do as many of the following activities as time allows. Always ask about the
impact on relationships if people try to adhere to gender norms or expect others to do so.

      b. Gender Coding Differences
          Use Sunday newspaper ads to look at how male and female models are used.
           First, have opposite sex students mimic the way models stand and use facial
           expressions. Do they look realistic? How do their bodies feel? Which sex
           feels more normal?
          Second, list the visual “codes” and the connotations associated with the male
           and female models
          Third, ask why are models typically shown in these ways? What messages
           about gender are we getting on a regular basis? How do these messages tie
           in to relationship violence?

      c. “Group Read” on Gender Stereotypes
      Use the sections on the media-awareness website dealing with “Media Portrayals” of
      females (women and girls) and males (at the end of session), to do a “group read”:
          Divide students into groups of 3-4
          Decide which sections to read
          Assign approximately the same amount of reading to each group
          Have groups answer the following questions on a flipchart sheet that they will
            present to the entire class:
            o What were the most important points or pieces of information?
            o Which point seemed the most important to each member of the group and
                why?
            o How will each member of the group look at media differently now?

      d. Watch one or more presentations about gender norms, such as:
          Codes of Gender” – how females and, to a lesser extent, males are “coded” or
           represented in the media to conform to dominant ideas about femininity and
           masculinity
          “Killing Us Softly 3” – examines the representations of females and femininity
           in advertisements
          “Tough Guise” – examines the representations of males and masculinity in the
           media, including movies and TV


    3. Homework: For the next class session, students should bring in one song they feel
   either reinforces or challenges gender or relationship stereotypes. They should also try
   to bring in a copy of the song’s lyrics.
                                                                                                            62


Media Literacy Concepts
(from the Media Literacy Project at nmmlp.org)

The study and practice of media literacy is based on a number of fundamental concepts about media
messages, our media system, and the role of media literacy in bringing about change. Understanding these
concepts is an essential first step in media literacy education.

We’ve organized Media Literacy Concepts into three levels: Basic, Intermediate and Advanced. Basic concepts
focus on how media affect us. Intermediate concepts examine more closely how we create meaning from
media messages. Advanced concepts examine the interaction of media and society, and the role of media
literacy in bringing about change.

Basic concepts
1. Media construct our culture. Our society and culture – even our perception of reality - is shaped by the
information and images we receive via the media. A few generations ago, our culture’s storytellers were
people – family, friends, and others in our community. For many people today, the most powerful storytellers
are television, movies, music, video games, and the Internet.

2. Media messages affect our thoughts, attitudes and actions. We don’t like to admit it, but all of us are
affected by advertising, news, movies, pop music, video games, and other forms of media. That’s why media
are such a powerful cultural force, and why the media industry is such big business.

3. Media use “the language of persuasion.” All media messages try to persuade us to believe or do
something. News, documentary films, and nonfiction books all claim to be telling the truth. Advertising tries
to get us to buy products. Novels and TV dramas go to great lengths to appear realistic. To do this, they use
specific techniques (like flattery, repetition, fear, and humor) we call “the language of persuasion.”

4. Media construct fantasy worlds. While fantasy can be pleasurable and entertaining, it can also be
harmful. Movies, TV shows, and music videos sometimes inspire people to do things that are unwise, anti-
social, or even dangerous. At other times, media can inspire our imagination. Advertising constructs a fantasy
world where all problems can be solved with a purchase. Media literacy helps people to recognize fantasy and
constructively integrate it with reality.

5. No one tells the whole story. Every media maker has a point of view. Every good story highlights some
information and leaves out the rest. Often, the effect of a media message comes not only from what is said,
but from what part of the story is not told.

6. Media messages contain “texts” and “subtexts.” The text is the actual words, pictures and/or sounds in
a media message. The subtext is the hidden and underlying meaning of the message.

7. Media messages reflect the values and viewpoints of media makers. Everyone has a point of view. Our
values and viewpoints influence our choice of words, sounds and images we use to communicate through
media. This is true for all media makers, from a preschooler’s crayon drawing to a media conglomerate’s TV
news broadcast.

8. Individuals construct their own meanings from media. Although media makers attempt to convey specific
messages, people receive and interpret them differently, based on their own prior knowledge and
experience, their values, and their beliefs. This means that people can create different subtexts from the
same piece of media. All meanings and interpretations are valid and should be respected.
                                                                                                               63

9. Media messages can be decoded. By “deconstructing” media, we can figure out who created the
message, and why. We can identify the techniques of persuasion being used and recognize how media makers
are trying to influence us. We notice what parts of the story are not being told, and how we can become
better informed.

10. Media literate youth and adults are active consumers of media. Many forms of media – like television –
seek to create passive, impulsive consumers. Media literacy helps people consume media with a critical eye,
evaluating sources, intended purposes, persuasion techniques, and deeper meanings.

Intermediate concepts
11. The human brain processes images differently than words. Images are processed in the “reptilian” part
of the brain, where strong emotions and instincts are also located. Written and spoken language is processed
in another part of the brain, the neocortex, where reason lies. This is why TV commercials are often more
powerful than print ads.

12. We process time-based media differently than static media. The information and images in TV shows,
movies, video games, and music often bypass the analytic brain and trigger emotions and memory in the
unconscious and reactive parts of the brain. Only a small proportion surfaces in consciousness. When we read
a newspaper, magazine, book or website, we have the opportunity to stop and think, re-read something, and
integrate the information rationally.

13. Media are most powerful when they operate on an emotional level. Most fiction engages our hearts as
well as our minds. Advertisements take this further, and seek to transfer feelings from an emotionally-
charged symbol (family, sex, the flag) to a product.

14. Media messages can be manipulated to enhance emotional impact. Movies and TV shows use a variety
of filmic techniques (like camera angles, framing, reaction shots, quick cuts, special effects, lighting tricks,
music, and sound effects) to reinforce the messages in the script. Dramatic graphic design can do the same
for magazine ads or websites.

15. Media effects are subtle. Few people believe everything they see and hear in the media. Few people
rush out to the store immediately after seeing an ad. Playing a violent video game won’t automatically turn
you into a murderer. The effects of media are more subtle than this, but because we are so immersed in the
media environment, the effects are still significant.

16. Media effects are complex. Media messages directly influence us as individuals, but they also affect our
families and friends, our communities, and our society. So some media effects are indirect. We must consider
both direct and indirect effects to understand media’s true influence.

17. Media convey ideological and value messages. Ideology and values are usually conveyed in the subtext.
Two examples include news reports (besides covering an issue or event, news reports often reinforce
assumptions about power and authority) and advertisements (besides selling particular products,
advertisements almost always promote the values of a consumer society).

18. We all create media. Maybe you don’t have the skills and resources to make a blockbuster movie or
publish a daily newspaper. But just about anyone can snap a photo, write a letter or sing a song. And new
technology has allowed millions of people to make media--email, websites, videos, newsletters, and more --
easily and cheaply. Creating your own media messages is an important part of media literacy.
                                                                                                              64


Advanced concepts
19. Our media system reflects the power dynamics in our society. People and institutions with money,
privilege, influence, and power can more easily create media messages and distribute them to large numbers
of people. People without this access are often shut out of the media system.

20. Most media are controlled by commercial interests. In the United States, the marketplace largely
determines what we see on television, what we hear on the radio, what we read in newspapers or magazines.
As we use media, we should always be alert to the self-interest of corporate media makers. Are they
concerned about your health? Do they care if you’re smart or well-informed? Are they interested in creating
active participants in our society and culture, or merely passive consumers of their products, services, and
ideas?

21. Media monopolies reduce opportunities to participate in decision making. When a few huge media
corporations control access to information, they have the power to make some information widely available
and privilege those perspectives that serve their interests, while marginalizing or even censoring other
information and perspectives. This affects our ability to make good decisions about our own lives, and
reduces opportunities to participate in making decisions about our government and society.

22. Changing the media system is a justice issue. Our media system produces lots of negative, demeaning
imagery, values and ideas. It renders many people invisible. It provides too little funding and too few outlets
for people without money, privilege, influence, and power to tell their stories.

23. We can change our media system. More and more people are realizing how important it is to have a
media system that is open to new people and new perspectives, that elevates human values over commercial
values, and that serves human needs in the 21st century. All over the world, people are taking action to
reform our media system and create new alternatives.

24. Media literate youth and adults are media activists. As we learn how to access, analyze and interpret
media messages, and as we create our own media, we recognize the limitations and problems of our current
media system. Media literacy is a great foundation for advocacy and activism for a better media system.
                                                                                          65


Media Stereotyping - Introduction
Media stereotypes are inevitable, especially in the advertising,
entertainment and news industries, which need as wide an
audience as possible to quickly understand information.
Stereotypes act like codes that give audiences a quick, common
understanding of a person or group of people—usually relating to
their class, ethnicity or race, gender, sexual orientation, social
role or occupation.

But stereotypes can be problematic. They can:

      reduce a wide range of differences in people to simplistic categorizations

      transform assumptions about particular groups of people into "realities"

      be used to justify the position of those in power

      perpetuate social prejudice and inequality

More often than not, the groups being stereotyped have little to say about how they are
represented.




From www.media-awareness.ca
                                                                                            66


Media Portrayals of Girls and Women: Introduction
We all know the stereotypes—the femme fatale, the supermom, the sex
kitten, the nasty corporate climber. Whatever the role, television, film
and popular magazines are full of images of women and girls who are
typically white, desperately thin, and made up to the hilt—even after
slaying a gang of vampires or dressing down a Greek legion.

Many would agree that some strides have been made in how the media portray women in
film, television and magazines, and that the last 20 years has also seen a growth in the
presence and influence of women in media behind the scenes. Nevertheless, female
stereotypes continue to thrive in the media we consume every day.



Beauty and Body Image in the Media

Images of female bodies are everywhere. Women—and their body parts—sell everything
from food to cars. Popular film and television actresses are becoming younger, taller and
thinner. Some have even been known to faint on the set from lack of food. Women’s
magazines are full of articles urging that if they can just lose those last twenty pounds,
they’ll have it all—the perfect marriage, loving children, great sex, and a rewarding career.

Why are standards of beauty being imposed on women, the majority of whom are naturally
larger and more mature than any of the models? The roots, some analysts say, are
economic. By presenting an ideal difficult to achieve and maintain, the cosmetic and diet
product industries are assured of growth and profits. And it’s no accident that youth is
increasingly promoted, along with thinness, as an essential criterion of beauty. If not all
women need to lose weight, for sure they’re all aging, says the Quebec Action Network for
Women’s Health in its 2001 report Changements sociaux en faveur de la diversité des
images corporelles. And, according to the industry, age is a disaster that needs to be dealt
with.

The stakes are huge. On the one hand, women who are
insecure about their bodies are more likely to buy beauty
products, new clothes, and diet aids. It is estimated that the
diet industry alone is worth anywhere between 40 to 100
billion (U.S.) a year selling temporary weight loss (90 to 95% of
dieters regain the lost weight).1 On the other hand, research
indicates that exposure to images of thin, young, air-brushed
female bodies is linked to depression, loss of self-esteem and
the development of unhealthy eating habits in women and
girls.

The American research group Anorexia Nervosa & Related
Eating Disorders, Inc. says that one out of every four college-aged women uses unhealthy
methods of weight control—including fasting, skipping meals, excessive exercise, laxative
                                                                                            67


abuse, and self-induced vomiting. The pressure to be thin is also affecting young girls: the
Canadian Women's Health Network warns that weight control measures are now being
taken by girls as young as 5 and 6. American statistics are similar. Several studies, such as
one conducted by Marika Tiggemann and Levina Clark in 2006 titled “Appearance Culture in
Nine- to 12-Year-Old Girls: Media and Peer Influences on Body Dissatisfaction,” indicate
that nearly half of all preadolescent girls wish to be thinner, and as a result have engaged
in a diet or are aware of the concept of dieting. In 2003, Teen magazine reported that 35
per cent of girls 6 to 12 years old have been on at least one diet, and that 50 to 70 per cent
of normal weight girls believe they are overweight. Overall research indicates that 90% of
women are dissatisfied with their appearance in some way.2

Media activist Jean Kilbourne concludes that, "Women are sold to the diet industry by the
magazines we read and the television programs we watch, almost all of which make us feel
anxious about our weight."

Unattainable Beauty

Perhaps most disturbing is the fact that media images of female beauty are unattainable
for all but a very small number of women. Researchers generating a computer model of a
woman with Barbie-doll proportions, for example, found that her back would be too weak
to support the weight of her upper body, and her body would be too narrow to contain
more than half a liver and a few centimeters of bowel. A real woman built that way would
suffer from chronic diarrhea and eventually die from malnutrition. Jill Barad president of
Mattel (which manufactures Barbie) estimated that 99% of girls aged 3 to 10 years old own
at least one Barbie doll.3

Still, the number of real life women and girls who seek a similarly underweight body is
epidemic, and they can suffer equally devastating health consequences. In 2006 it was
estimated that up to 450, 000 Canadian women were affected by an eating disorder.4

The Culture of Thinness

Researchers report that women’s magazines have ten and one-half times more ads and
articles promoting weight loss than men’s magazines do, and over three-quarters of the
covers of women’s magazines include at least one message about how to change a woman’s
bodily appearance—by diet, exercise or cosmetic surgery.

Television and movies reinforce the importance of a thin body as a measure of a woman’s
worth. Canadian researcher Gregory Fouts reports that over three-quarters of the female
characters in TV situation comedies are underweight, and only one in twenty are above
average in size. Heavier actresses tend to receive negative comments from male characters
about their bodies ("How about wearing a sack?"), and 80 per cent of these negative
comments are followed by canned audience laughter.

There have been efforts in the magazine industry to buck the trend. For several years the
Quebec magazine Coup de Pouce has consistently included full-sized women in their fashion
pages and Châtelaine has pledged not to touch up photos and not to include models less
                                                                                          68


than 25 years of age. In Madrid, one of the world’s biggest fashion capitals, ultra-thin
models were banned from the runway in 2006. Furthermore Spain has recently undergone a
project with the aim to standardize clothing sizes through using a unique process in which a
laser beam is used to measure real life women’s bodies in order to find the most true to
life measurement.5

However, advertising rules the marketplace and in advertising thin is "in." Twenty years
ago, the average model weighed 8 per cent less than the average woman—but today’s
models weigh 23 per cent less. Advertisers believe that thin models sell products. When the
Australian magazine New Woman recently included a picture of a heavy-set model on its
cover, it received a truckload of letters from grateful readers praising the move. But its
advertisers complained and the magazine returned to featuring bone-thin models.
Advertising Age International concluded that the incident "made clear the influence
wielded by advertisers who remain convinced that only thin models spur the sales of beauty
products."

Another issue is the representation of ethnically diverse women in the media. A 2008 study
conducted by Juanita Covert and Travis Dixon titled "A Changing View: Representation and
Effects of the Portrayal of Women of Color in Mainstream Women's Magazines” found that
although there was an increase in the representation of women of colour, overall white
women were overrepresented in mainstream women’s magazines from 1999 to 2004.



Self-Improvement or Self-Destruction?

The barrage of messages about thinness, dieting and beauty tells "ordinary" women that
they are always in need of adjustment—and that the female body is an object to be
perfected.

Jean Kilbourne argues that the overwhelming presence of media images of painfully thin
women means that real women’s bodies have become invisible in the mass media. The real
tragedy, Kilbourne concludes, is that many women internalize these stereotypes, and judge
themselves by the beauty industry's standards. Women learn to compare themselves to
other women, and to compete with them for male attention. This focus on beauty and
desirability "effectively destroys any awareness and action that might help to change that
climate."



References
1. The diet business: Banking on failure. (BBC News World Edition, Feb 5 2003).
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/2725943.stm
2. The Canadian Women’s Health Network (Body Image and the Media).
http://www.cwhn.ca/node/40776
3. Barbie boots up. (Time, Nov 11 1996). http://www.time.com
4. A Report on Mental Illness in Canada. (Public Health Agency of Canada, 2002).
5. Women laserized to standardize dress sizes. (CNN.com, Feb 11 2008).
                                                                                                 69


Sex and Relationships in the Media
The pressure put on women through ads, television, film and new
                                                                       "Amber O’Brien, 25, is
media to be sexually attractive—and sexually active—is profound.       having the time of her life.
The National Eating Disorders Association reports that one out of      Recently she decided it was
four TV commercials send some kind of "attractiveness message,"        time to have breast
telling viewers what is and is not attractive. Children Now reports    implants. Amber’s proudest
that 38 per cent of the female characters in video games are           achievement: buying a
                                                                       condo. Her life mission:
scantily clad, 23 per cent baring breasts or cleavage, 31 per cent     always be open to new
exposing thighs, another 31 per cent exposing stomachs or              ideas. Her pet peeve:
midriffs, and 15 per cent baring their behinds.                        people who pressure you
                                                                       into doing things."
Women as Sexual Objects                                                Source: Breast implant
                                                                       advertisement
Provocative images of women's partly clothed or naked bodies are
especially prevalent in advertising. Shari Graydon, former president of Canada’s Media
Action Média, argues that women’s bodies are sexualized in ads in order to grab the
viewer’s attention. Women become sexual objects when their bodies and their sexuality
are linked to products that are bought and sold.

Media activist Jean Kilbourne agrees. She notes that women’s bodies are often
dismembered into legs, breasts or thighs, reinforcing the message that women are objects
rather than whole human beings.

Although women’s sexuality is no longer a taboo subject, many researchers question
whether or not the blatant sexualization of women’s bodies in the media is liberating.
Laurie Abraham, executive editor of Elle magazine, warns that the biggest problem with
women’s magazines is "how much we lie about sex." Those "lies" continue to perpetuate the
idea that women’s sexuality is subservient to men’s pleasure. In her study of Cosmopolitan
and Playboy magazines, for example, Nicole Krassas found that both men and women’s
magazines contain a single vision of female sexuality—that "women should primarily
concern themselves with attracting and sexually satisfying men."

The presence of misinformation and media stereotypes is disturbing, given research that
indicates young people often turn to media for information about sex and sexuality. In
2003, David Buckingham and Sara Bragg reported that two-thirds of young people turn to
media when they want to learn about sex - the same percentage of kids who ask their
mothers for information and advice.

How to Catch (and Keep) Your Man

Many researchers argue that the over-representation of thin women
in mass media reinforces the conclusion that "physically attractive"
and "sexually desirable" mean "thin." Amy Malkin’s study of
magazine covers reveals that messages about weight loss are often
placed next to messages about men and relationships. Some of her
                                                                                             70


examples: "Get the Body You Really Want" beside "How to Get Your Husband to Really
Listen," and "Stay Skinny" paired with "What Men Really Want."

The fascination with finding out what men really want also tends to keep female characters
in film and television busy. Professor Nancy Signorielli reports that men are more likely
than women to be shown "on the job" in movies and television shows. Female characters,
on the other hand, are more likely to be seen dating, or talking about romance.

Sex and Violence

That romance often has a darker side. As Graydon notes, the media infantilize women,
portraying them as child-like, innocent and vulnerable. Being vulnerable is often closely
linked to being a potential victim of violence. Kilbourne argues that ads like the Fetish
scent ad (right) imply "women don’t really mean 'no' when they say it, that women are only
teasing when they resist men’s advances." The ad’s copy reads: "Apply generously to your
neck so he can smell the scent as you shake your head 'no.'" The obvious implication here
is, "he’ll understand that you don’t really mean it and he can respond to the scent like any
other animal."

Kilbourne notes that sex in the media is often condemned "from a puritanical perspective—
there’s too much of it, it’s too blatant, it will encourage kids to be promiscuous, etc." But,
she concludes, sex in the media "has far more to do with trivializing sex than with
promoting it. The problem is not that it is sinful but that it is synthetic and cynical. We are
offered a pseudo-sexuality that makes it far more difficult to discover our own unique and
authentic sexuality."




From www.media-awareness.ca
                                                                                            71



Media and Girls
"They have ads of how you should dress and what you should look like and
this and that, and then they say, 'but respect people for what they choose
to be like.' Okay, so which do we do first?"

                                           Kelsey, 16, quoted in Girl Talk


The statistics are startling. The average North American girl will watch 5,000 hours of
television, including 80,000 ads, before she starts kindergarten. In the United States,
Saturday morning cartoons alone come with 33 commercials per hour. Commercials aimed
at kids spend 55 per cent of their time showing boys building, fixing toys, or fighting. They
show girls, on the other hand, spending 77 per cent of their time laughing, talking, or
observing others. And while boys in commercials are shown out of the house 85 per cent of
the time, more than half of the commercials featuring girls place them in the home.

You've Come A Long Way, Baby?

The mass media, especially children's television, provide more positive role models for girls
than ever before. Kids shows such as Timothy Goes to School, Canadian Geographic for
Kids, and The Magic School Bus feature strong female characters who interact with their
male counterparts on an equal footing.

There are strong role models for teens as well. A Children Now study of the media favoured
by teenage girls discovered that a similar proportion of male and female characters on TV
and in the movies rely on themselves to achieve their goals and solve their own problems.
(The one discrepancy was in the movies, where 49 per cent of male characters solve their
own problems, compared to only 35 per cent of their female counterparts.) Television
shows like Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and computer games such as Tomb Raider and Perfect
Dark, star girls who are physically assertive and in control. And of course, Lisa has been
acknowledged as the brains of the Simpson family since the start.

Despite the progress that has been made there is a long way to go, both in the quantity of
media representations of woman and in their quality.

In terms of quantity, the media is still a long way from reflecting reality : women represent
49 per cent of humanity while female characters make up only 32 per cent of the main
characters on TV, as shown by a broad survey done in 2008 by Doctor Maya Götz of the
International Central Institute for Youth and Educational Television. This study measured
the representation of male and female characters in nearly twenty thousand children’s
programs in 24 different countries. The media industry justifies this disparity by arguing
that it is easier for girls than boys to identify with characters of the opposite sex. Götz
argues that this argument reverses cause and effect, saying that it is the lack of female
characters on TV is what leads to the higher popularity of male characters.
                                                                                              72


So far as quality is concerned, the media still conform to a stereotyped image of women.
Götz’s study identifies a number of sexual stereotypes found around the world : in general,
girls and women are motivated by love and romance, appear less independent than boys,
and are stereotyped according to their hair colour – blonds fall into two categories, the
“girl next door” or the “blonde bitch,” while redheads are always
tomboys – they are nearly always conventionally attractive, thinner
than average women in real life, and heavily sexualized.

Magazines are the only medium where girls are over-represented.
However,almost 70 per cent of the editorial content in teen mags
focuses on beauty and fashion, and only 12 per cent talks about
school or careers.

Media, Self-Esteem and Girls' Identities

Research indicates that these mixed messages make it difficult for
girls to negotiate the transition to adulthood. In its 1998 study Focus
on Youth, the Canadian Council on Social Development reports that while the number of
boys who say they "have confidence in themselves" remains relatively stable through
adolescence, the numbers for girls drop steadily from 72 per cent in Grade Six students to
only 55 per cent in Grade Ten.

Carol Gilligan was the first to highlight this unsettling trend in her landmark 1988 study.
Gilligan suggests it happens because of the widening gap between girls' self-images and
society's messages about what girls should be like.

Children Now points out that girls are surrounded by images of female beauty that are
unrealistic and unattainable. And yet two out of three girls who participated in their
national media survey said they "wanted to look like a character on TV." One out of three
said they had "changed something about their appearance to resemble that character."

In 2002, researchers at Flinders University in South Australia studied 400 teenagers
regarding how they relate to advertising. They found that girls who watched TV
commercials featuring underweight models lost self-confidence and became more
dissatisfied with their own bodies. Girls who spent the most time and effort on their
appearance suffered the greatest loss in confidence.




From www.media-awareness.ca
                                                                                              73


Media Portrayals of Men and Masculinity: Introduction
"When I was born, they looked at me and said: 'What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a
strong boy!' And when you were born, they looked at you and said:' What a good girl, what
a smart girl, what a pretty girl!'"
                               "What A Good Boy," The Barenaked Ladies

Common Stereotypes of Men in Media

Various media analysts and researchers argue that media portrayals of
male characters fall within a range of stereotypes. The report Boys to
Men: Media Messages About Masculinity, identifies the most popular
stereotypes of male characters as the Joker, the Jock, the Strong Silent
Type, the Big Shot and the Action Hero.

The Joker is a very popular character with boys, perhaps because laughter is part of their
own "mask of masculinity." A potential negative consequence of this stereotype is the
assumption that boys and men should not be serious or emotional. However, researchers
have also argued that humorous roles can be used to expand definitions of masculinity.

The Jock is always willing to "compromise his own long-term health; he must fight other
men when necessary; he must avoid being soft; and he must be aggressive." By
demonstrating his power and strength, the jock wins the approval of other men and the
adoration of women.

The Strong Silent Type focuses on "being in charge, acting decisively, containing emotion,
and succeeding with women." This stereotype reinforces the assumption that men and boys
should always be in control, and that talking about one’s feelings is a sign of weakness.

The Big Shot is defined by his professional status. He is the "epitome of success,
embodying the characteristics and acquiring the possessions that society deems valuable."
This stereotype suggests that a real man must be economically powerful and socially
successful.

The Action Hero is "strong, but not necessarily silent. He is often angry. Above all, he is
aggressive in the extreme and, increasingly over the past several decades, he engages in
violent behavior."

The Buffoon commonly appears as a bungling father figure in TV ads and sitcoms. Usually
well-intentioned and light-hearted, these characters range from slightly inept to
completely hopeless when it comes to parenting their children or dealing with domestic (or
workplace) issues.
                                                                                           74


Children's Perceptions of Male Stereotypes

In 1999, the research group Children Now asked boys between the
ages of 10 and 17 about how their perceptions of the male characters
they saw on television, in music videos and in movies. From the
study, the group concluded that the media do not reflect the
changing work and family experiences of most men today—and that
this fact is not lost on the boys, who noticed the discrepancies between the media
portrayals and the reality they knew.

Some of the study’s main observations:

      on television, most men and boys usually keep their attention focused mostly just on
       women and girls

      many males on TV are violent and angry

      men are generally leaders and problem-solvers

      males are funny, confident, successful and athletic

      it’s rare to see men or boys crying or otherwise showing vulnerability

      male characters on TV could not be described as "sensitive"

      male characters are mostly shown in the workplace, and only rarely at home

      more than a third of the boys had never seen a man on TV doing domestic chores

The study also revealed that the boys were quite aware that these male characters on
television differed from their own friends and fathers, and from themselves. They had also
noticed that media portrayals of success do not necessarily reflect their own ideas of real-
life success.



Masculinity and Advertising

In its study of masculinity and sports media, the research group
Children Now found that most commercials directed to male viewers
tend to air during sports programming. Women rarely appear in these
commercials, and when they do, they’re generally portrayed in
stereotypical ways.

In fact, in his analysis of gender in advertising, author and University of North Texas
professor Steve Craig argues that women tend to be presented as "rewards" for men who
choose the right product. He describes such commercials as "narratives of playful
escapades away from home and family." They operate, he says, at the level of fantasy—
                                                                                            75


presenting idealized portrayals of men and women. When he focused specifically on beer
commercials, Craig found that the men were invariably "virile, slim and white"—and the
women always "eager for male companionship."

Author and academic Susan Bordo (University of Kentucky) has also analyzed gender in
advertising, and agrees that men are usually portrayed as virile, muscular and powerful.
Their powerful bodies dominate space in the ads. For women, the focus is on slenderness,
dieting, and attaining a feminine ideal; women are always presented as not just thin, but
also weak and vulnerable.

These critics and others suggest that just as traditional advertising has for decades sexually
objectified women and their bodies, today’s marketing campaigns are objectifying men in
the same way. A 2002 study by the University of Wisconsin suggests that this new focus on
fit and muscled male bodies is causing men the same anxiety and personal insecurity that
women have felt for decades.




From www.media-awareness.ca
                                                                                          76


                Sessions 19. Gender Norms and Music
   Class Summary: Look at how gender norms are used in music. Continue
   investigating “gender coding.”

   Learner Outcomes: Class members will continue to develop their “media
   literacy” skills and understand what gender messages they are consuming.

   Materials Needed:
   Lyrics (and music, if desired) from popular songs (lyrics brought in by students should
      be copied prior to class, if possible)
   Equipment to play songs, if desired


Class Activities:

1. Gender Norms and Music
    a. Ask how many of the students listen to the lyrics when listening to music.

     b. Do any of the students think that lyrics matter in terms of continuing or
challenging gender norms?

    c. Do lyrics have more of an impact on younger listeners? Older listeners?


  2. Addressing the “So what, it’s just a song?” issue, should it arise:
     a. Have students picture a younger teen, just getting into relationships. It is typical
for teens to adopt gender norms because they offer some guidance on how to act and
think during a very confusing time. But consider what teens are being taught about
relationships by music: what messages are put forward and what expectations are being
created? See any problems?
     b. When we buy music that feeds violence it gives the impression that the purchaser
condones it. Producers may say: “If people didn’t agree with the lyrics, they wouldn’t
buy the music. So these attitudes are OK.”
     c. Lastly, if we only got stereotypical violence-perpetuating messages from one
source, say music, and the rest of pop culture encouraged healthy relationships, it would
not be much of an issue. But that’s not the case and negative and unhealthy KABBs are
further reinforced.


 3. Activities (choose one or more of these activities)
    a. Students should take someone else’s song and pair up with a member of the
opposite sex. Ask one student in each pair to read their song to their partner.
Afterwards, ask the partner: Was the song romantic? Do you feel respected and equal?
Would you want to go out with someone who talked to / thought about you in that way?
                                                                                      77


    b. On copies of the songs brought in, students should use highlighters to identify
lyrics having to do with gender norms, relationships, and/or violence. What assumptions
do the lyrics hold? Are the “messages” healthy or unhealthy?




Homework: Students should bring in a magazine or 5-10 magazine ads for the next class
session.
                                                                                         78


       Sessions 20. & 21. Gender Norms and Advertising
   Class Summary: Look at what gender coding is used in advertising aimed at
   different audiences and what gender norms are being reinforced or challenged. .”

   Learner Outcomes: Class members will continue to develop their “media
   literacy” skills.

   Materials Needed:
   Magazines aimed at different audiences
   Signs (at end of session) copied and taped to wall


Class Activities:

1. Gender Norms and Advertising
   a. Before class, review background information after Sessions 17 & 18.

   b. Information related to advertising, from Jean Kilbourne
       Advertising
          o $200 billion is spent by the advertising industry per year
          o Average number of ads a person sees per day: 3,000
          o Average amount of time people spend watching TV commercials over their
            lifetime: 3 years
         Body Image
          o 1 in 5 girls has an eating disorder
          o 80% of 4th grade girls have been on diets
          o Models weigh 23% less than the average woman
          o Only 5% of the population is born with a supermodel’s body
          o The diet industry brings in $60 billion/year, but 95% of all dieters regain the
             weight they lost and usually gain additional weight
         Taking Social Action
          o Writing letters: Advertisers assume that one letter received = 10,000
             people’s opinion
          o Other Action: send in magazine inserts with suggestions like “Feed your
             models,” “Stop exploiting women.” Costs magazine 75¢ per card


2. Choose to do as many of the following activities as possible
   a. Activity 1: Ad Analysis
       Have students in pairs compare two of the ads they brought in
       Use one or all of the handouts on analyzing ads at Media Education Foundation
          (www.mediaed.org). “Deconstructing an Advertisement” is fairly brief and very
          helpful
       Each pair should briefly report their findings to the class
                                                                                       79


   b. Activity 2: How Stereotypical? How Challenging?
       On classroom walls, put up signs with “Very Stereotypical,” “Somewhat
         Stereotypical,” “Neutral,” “Somewhat Challenging,” “Very Challenging.”
       Students should choose an ad and decide where it falls along the above
         continuum, taping it in place
       Students should then stand near their ads
       When all ads are taped up, ask students for what elements of their ads
         suggested their placement


   c. Activity 3: Poster Project
       Put students into pairs or triads to create a two-part poster
       The first part should display ads (or parts of ads) that use unhealthy,
        stereotypical gender stereotypes
       The second part should display ads (or parts of ads) that are more realistic and
        challenge gender norms
       Put posters up and have student groups explain their choices

   d. Activity 4: “Perfection”
      Show an ad with the “perfect” male
      Ask students to imagine him as a real person
      What does he feel about himself and his role in the world?
      What are his attitudes toward females?
      How would he act in a relationship?
      Go through the same activity with an ad showing a picture of the “perfect”
        female


3 Important issues to touch on during the above:
   a. What are the females typically shown doing? The males?
   b. What does body positioning suggest about the females and males?
   c. Who has more power? What kind of power?
   d. What image of femininity is being sold? Masculinity? Is this image reinforcing
stereotypes or challenging them?
   e. Do ads influence you? How?
                80




    Very
Stereotypical
                81




 Somewhat
Stereotypical
          82




Neutral
              83




Somewhat
Challenging
              84




   Very
Challenging
                                                                                            85


             Sessions 22. -- 24. Gender Norms and Stories
      Class Summary: Look at how gender norms are used in TV and movies. Continue
      investigating “gender coding.”

      Learner Outcomes: Class members will continue to develop their “media
      literacy” skills and understand what gender messages they are consuming.

      Materials Needed:
      Films, TV episodes, or clips
      Equipment to view TV programs or films, if desired


 Class Activities:

 1. Gender Norms and Telling Stories
    a. We’ll now look at TV and films, where visuals and sounds combine gender messages
 with a story to create powerful messages about gender, violence and relationships. TV
 shows, movies and books can give us “scripts” for how our lives should be and
 expectations for ourselves and others

    b. Typical simple storyline involves the following structure:
 “Normal” life (as defined in the media presentation)         Something happens (aliens
 attack Earth, a character meets someone new)            Someone steps forward (or is
 forced) to solve the problem        Solver(s) of the problem overcomes obstacles
 Climax (when problem is usually resolved)         New “Normal” life (as a result of what
 has happened)


 2.


 3. Write A Scenario Activity
    a. Given what we’ve learned about gender norms in popular culture, what would be a
 stereotypical storyline? How would the lead male and female characters act and what
 would they look like?

     b. Students should create a brief storyline with a male and female character,
 including what the characters get to do and look like


    Analyze a popular TV show for gender lessons through its use of camerawork, lighting,
editing, and narrative structure.
                                                                                                             86


                                         TV/Film Analysis
Name ___________________                                                         Date _____________


1. Name of film or TV show you are analyzing:

2. Choose a male and female character to analyze. Write down the names of each character:


3. Consider how the male and female characters you chose looked. Did they look closer to a “perfect” male
or female, or closer to real people? Include descriptions of each character.




 4. Which of your characters got to be active in the plot (who got to solve problems and have power)?
Include examples to support your assertions.




5. Consider what the movie suggested about relationships:
    a. How did the male and female characters treat one another? Offer specific examples.




    b. Was this a healthy relationship? Why or why not?




6. How did the TV show or film handle physical affection or sexual activity – was it consensual and respectful?
Explain your answer.




7. Thinking about younger teens, do you think this TV show or movie offers them good role models to be like
and examples of healthy relationships? Explain your answer.
                                                                                              87


                                     Film Analysis
                                        Due Date:

  Write a 2-3 page essay answering the following questions. You can hand write it, if you
        write clearly, or type it on a computer and print it out. Include your name!
        IMPORTANT: Include examples to support your assertions and EXPLAIN.


1. Begin with the name of the film you are analyzing and why you chose it.


2. Choose a male and female character from the film to analyze. You need to write
about:
       a. How did the filmmakers make the male and female characters you chose look?
You can talk about what their bodies looked like, what they were wearing, how they moved
and talked. Were traditional gender codes used, so we were seeing a “perfect” male and
female, or was someone coded “outside the box”? Give specific examples.

       b. Because of how the film was scripted and directed, what did the male and
female characters you chose get to do? Which of your characters got to be active in the
plot and solved problems? Who had power? And what kind of power? Give specific
examples.


3. Write whether the characters you chose had healthy or unhealthy relationships. Be
sure to cover:
       a. How did the male and female characters treat one another? Give specific
examples.
       b. How did the film handle physical affection or sexual activity – was it consensual
and respectful, or forced and hurtful? Explain your answer.


4. Thinking about younger teens, do you think this film offers them good role models and
examples of healthy relationships? Explain your answer.
                                                                                          88


          Session 25. Check-In/End of Year Celebration
    Class Summary: Use this class as a day to finish up material and/or as a celebra-
    tion of what the students have accomplished so far. Students can also check in on
    their Goal sheets.

    Learner Outcomes: Class members will consider how they have changed since
    the beginning of class.

    Materials Needed:
    Students’ Goal sheets, if desired


Class Activities:

 1. Making Personal Changes
    a. Have students consider their Goal sheets and the progress they have made
 toward their goals

    b. Have students write down where on their “paths” they are and what obstacles
 they have faced and what they did in response

    c. As students finish writing, teachers should individually discuss their progress.
 This could also happen outside of class time


 2. Celebration
                       89




      UNIT 4:
TEEN DATING VIOLENCE
   IN OUR SCHOOL
                                                                                      90


                              Session 26. Review
     Class Summary: Use this class to see how the students did with their goals over
     break and to remind them of the material covered so far. Talk about the next unit,
     focused on researching TDV at the students’ school and preparing for Teen Dating
     Violence Prevention Month

     Learner Outcomes: Class members will get “back in the flow” of class and
     begin thinking creatively about how to bring YAC’s prevention message to their
     school.

     Materials Needed:
     Students’ Goal sheets, if desired


Class Activities:

1.
                                                                                       91


 Sessions 27. – 33. Teen Dating Violence Prevention Month
      Class Summary: These classes allow students to research TDV and KABBs at
      their school as they prepare to take social action for Teen Dating Violence
      Prevention Month

      Learner Outcomes: Class members will start to feel ownership of the campaign
      they will be creating to bring a prevention message to their school.

      Materials Needed:
      Students’ Goal sheets, if desired


Class Activities:

1.


27. – 33. Student Surveys and Information Campaign
    Create a survey for CVMS and CVHS students on their experience with relationship
abuse and personal gender beliefs AND Create an Information Campaign

     Create a presentation for CVHS (and CVMS?) on survey findings and recommendations


                                          YAC Survey
1. What do you want to learn?
2. Create questions
3. Decide when and where to give survey
4. Make up survey:
      Input questions
      Proofread and have Denise and Tracy see
      Edit
      Make copies
5. Give survey
6. Analyze the results
7. Present findings. Have published in CVHS newsletter?


                               YAC Information Campaign
1.   What is important enough that others need to know about it?
2.   How will you share that information?
3.   Get permission (if needed) before creating campaign
4.   Create campaign
5.   Present to class for input
                                                                           92


6. Make any necessary changes
7. Put campaign into action
8. Observe impact

Note: ABC’s of Communication:
            A = Awareness building of your topic
            B = Benefit to audience member is what? Specify
            C = Call to action – what can/should the audience member do?
                                                          93


                                     YAC Survey
1. What do you want to learn?
2. Create questions (look at previous survey questions)
3. Decide when and where to give survey
4. Make up survey:
      Input questions
      Proofread and have Denise and Tracy see
      Edit
      Make copies
5. Give survey
6. Analyze the results
7. Present findings. Have published in CVHS newsletter?




                                     YAC Survey
1. What do you want to learn?
2. Create questions (look at previous survey questions)
3. Decide when and where to give survey
4. Make up survey:
      Input questions
      Proofread and have Denise and Tracy see
      Edit
      Make copies
5. Give survey
6. Analyze the results
7. Present findings. Have published in CVHS newsletter?



                                     YAC Survey
1. What do you want to learn?
2. Create questions (look at previous survey questions)
3. Decide when and where to give survey
4. Make up survey:
      Input questions
      Proofread and have Denise and Tracy see
      Edit
      Make copies
5. Give survey
6. Analyze the results
7. Present findings. Have published in CVHS newsletter?
                                                                                       94


                                YAC Information Campaign
 1. What is important enough that others need to know about it?
 2. Ways to deliver information or message:
    a. Outline of body, with statistics/information inside
    b. “March of the Plastic” -- Barbie’s on parade
    c. “Wall of Shame” – ads and images related to gender norms displayed
    d. Fence with message spelled out
    e. Dress outside the box
    f. Human billboard
    g. Survey of CVHS and CVMS students
    g. Letter to a newspaper, article in school newsletter
 3. Get permission (if needed) before creating campaign
 4. Decide when to do each part of your campaign, from February 1-19.
 5. Work with Survey Group
 6. Create each part of your campaign
 7. Present to class for input
 8. Make any necessary changes
 9. Put campaign into action
10. Consider impact

Use the “ABC’s of Communication” to guide your work:
       A = Awareness. You want to build understanding of your topic.
       B = Benefit. Why should your audience care about your topic and message?
       C = Call to action. Explain exactly what can/should the audience do or think?



                                 YAC Information Campaign

 1. What is important enough that others need to know about it?
 2. Ways to deliver information or message:
    a. Outline of body, with statistics/information inside
    b. “March of the Plastic” -- Barbie’s on parade
    c. “Wall of Shame” – ads and images related to gender norms displayed
    d. Fence with message spelled out
    e. Dress outside the box
    f. Human billboard
    g. Survey of CVHS and CVMS students
    g. Letter to a newspaper, article in school newsletter
 3. Get permission (if needed) before creating campaign
 4. Decide when to do each part of your campaign, from February 1-19.
 5. Work with Survey Group
 6. Create each part of your campaign
 7. Present to class for input
 8. Make any necessary changes
 9. Put campaign into action
10. Consider impact

Use the “ABC’s of Communication” to guide your work:
       A = Awareness. You want to build understanding of your topic.
       B = Benefit. Why should your audience care about your topic and message?
       C = Call to action. Explain exactly what can/should the audience do or think?
                                                                                           95


UNIT 5: PRESENTATIONS

34. – 35. National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Activities
   Share results of surveys in CVHS classes (and CVMS?)


36. Debrief previous week’s presentations


37. – 62. Create and Offer Presentations
       What do middle schoolers need to know? Brainstorm in small groups and make list
as a large group.

      Look at previous years’ skits/activities for topics and presentation strategies. Pull
out what to use and what to refashion.

      Create skits and activities to present, including general introduction, intros for
each skit/activity, skits, games, activities

      Presentation skills:

              practice projecting voice and facing audience
              hand signs used to communicate during presentations
              “memorizing” presentation to avoid looking at outline so much
              how to get audience’s attention
              if see bullying, don’t single out a person, but use it as an example
              how to handle audience distractions (one way: get close, ask politely for
        their attention, shake students hand and thank them. Can also ask teacher to
        separate kids)



      Practice and perform presentations:

              Parents’ “Teen World” presentation – March?
              mentor presentations (2) – March?
              CVMS presentations (2) – April and May
              Bloomer MS presentation -- May
              CFMS presentation -- May
                                                                                       96


UNIT 6: LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

63. – 64. Having Healthy Relationships: Self-Assessments
    These classes will provide students with tools for relationship self-assessment.

    Activity: “Way To Know: Being In A Healthy Relationship” (R&TT, p. 4.20)

    Choose one or both of these activities to wrap up the class:
       “Bill of Rights” Activity (ITWT, p. 110) – have students do as a class, or for
themselves.
       “Remembering the Future” Activity (FS&SS, p. 191), changing the year and
changing child abuse to dating violence – could have students write down their answer to
save for their future




**************
     C. Considering Our Own Relationships
        1. Hand out the self-assessment tool: “Does Your Partner…” (from R&TT, p.
3.36).

        2. Students can do in class or on their own.
**************




65. Posttests and Wrap-Up




66. Celebration??
                                                                                         97



                           Youth Action Committee
                                       Syllabus


UNIT 1: INTRODUCTION     TO   CLASS & TDV
1. & 2. Introduction to Class
   Goals and expectations – ours and theirs. Give pre-test.

Retreat: Team-building, learning conflict management, basic information on healthy
and unhealthy relationships

3. & 4. Review of Retreat
   Go over knowledge gained, practice skills from Retreat
    Intervention Techniques
   Create posters on characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships for YAC room


UNIT 2: ROOT CAUSES OF TDV
5. Introduction to “KABB’s”
    From various sources we learn how we and other people are supposed to act and
think and feel, which are early-on differentiated by sex.
    Our assumptions are called our “KABB’s – knowledge, attitudes, beliefs, and
behaviors. We don’t all have exactly the same ones, but certain “dominant” ones
surround us, offering and reinforcing certain assumptions and ways of seeing the world
    Changing assumptions is what YAC is all about: influencing people’s assumptions to
prevent relationship violence

6. Root Causes of TDV: Power
   Why does abuse happen in relationships?
   A misuse of power underlies all forms of violence

7. Gender Norms
   What is gender?
   Power and gender are linked
   We will focus on unhealthy gender norms
   Project: Interview an adult about gender norms and relationships of their youth

8. & 9. Learning About Gender & Violence
   What does it mean to be masculine/feminine?
   How do we learn to be violent?
   What is the link between violence and gender?

10. Gender & Language
    How we contribute to gender norms -– and violence -- through our language
                                                                                           98


UNIT 3: INFLUENCE OF POPULAR CULTURE
11. Prep For Youth Leadership Conference

12. Debrief Conference
   Review info. and skills learned
   Discuss social action and need for individual change. Share Change Card and have
students decide what they will work on individually. Do Pledge.

13. Upholding Gender Norms: Introduction to Popular Culture
    Now we’re going to look at popular culture, where gender norms are upheld and
reinforced, but also sometimes challenged. We’ll be learning how to analyze visual
and aural messages to be able to see their subtle messages about being masculine
and feminine
    Homework: For the next class session, bring in up to two songs you feel either
reinforce or challenge gender or relationship stereotypes. Try to bring in a copy of the
songs’ lyrics

14. – 16. Upholding Gender Norms: Music
    Examine songs brought in for gender stereotyping, relationships, and violence

17. – 19. Ad Analysis
   Basics of visual literacy
   How ads are constructed; typical gender norms in magazine ads
   Project: Create posters with ads that use unhealthy gender stereotypes vs.
challenges to unhealthy gender norms

20. – 24. Telling Stories
   Analyzing TV shows or movies for gender-violence link. Visuals and sounds combine
with a story to create powerful messages about gender, violence and relationships.
   Find healthy and unhealthy relationships and representations of gender

25. Christmas Party
                                                                  99


UNIT 4: WHAT’S HAPPENING IN OUR SCHOOL?

  26. Review

  27. – 33. Student Surveys and Information Campaign


UNIT 5: PRESENTATIONS

  34. – 35. National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Activities
     Share results of surveys in CVHS classes (and CVMS?)

  36. Debrief previous week’s presentations

  37. – 62. Create and Offer Presentations


UNIT 6: LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

  63. – 64. Having Healthy Relationships: Self-Assessments

  65. Post-tests and Wrap-Up

  66. Celebration
                                                                         100

                            Youth Action Committee
                                          Syllabus

UNIT 1: INTRODUCTION TO CLASS & TDV
   1. & 2. Introduction to Class   Retreat – Sept. 24, 2010

   3. Review of Retreat/Conflict Resolution

   4. Intervention Skills

   5. & 6. Personal Assessment & Goals


UNIT 2: ROOT CAUSES OF TDV
   7. & 8. Introduction to “KABB’s”

   9. KABBs & Power

   10. & 11. KABBs & Gender Norms

   12. & 13. Supporting & Challenging Gender Norms

   14. Social Action


UNIT 3: INFLUENCE OF POPULAR CULTURE
   15. & 16. Introduction to Popular Culture

   17. & 18. Upholding Gender Norms: Music

   19. & 20.   Upholding Gender Norms: Advertising

   21. – 22. Upholding Gender Norms: Movies and TV

   23. Christmas Party


UNIT 4: WHAT’S HAPPENING IN OUR SCHOOL?
   26. Review

   27. – 35. National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Month Activities

UNIT 5: PRESENTATIONS
   36. – 62. Create and Offer Presentations


UNIT 6: LOOKING TO THE FUTURE
   63. – 64. Having Healthy Relationships

   65. – 66. Post-tests and Wrap-Up
                                    101




Appendix A: Student Pre/Post-test
                                                                  102




                DELTA SURVEY
We need to ask you about some of your experiences and opinions.
         You should NOT put your name on this survey.
                 We do ask that you be honest.




                       Your Birthdate: _____
                   Your Sex:   Female      Male
                   Today’s Date: _____________
                                                                                                     103


A. Please read the following statements and check the box next to your answer.
During the last 2 months:
   1. Have you heard someone putting females down by calling them names such as “dyke,” or
“bitch?”
          No (skip to #2)
          Yes, and I thought it was OK
          Yes, and I thought it was not OK
           If you answered “Yes,” what did you do? (Check as many boxes as apply)
                    a. Laughed
                    b. Did nothing, but didn’t walk away
                    c. Walked away
                    d. Said something to the speaker to show you didn’t like their behavior
                    e. Got others to join you in telling the speaker to stop

   2. Have you heard someone putting males down by calling them names such as “fag,” or “pussy?”
          No (skip to #3)
          Yes, and I thought it was OK
          Yes, and I thought it was not OK
           If you answered “Yes,” what did you do? (Check as many boxes as apply)
                    a. Laughed
                    b. Did nothing, but didn’t walk away
                    c. Walked away
                    d. Said something to the speaker to show you didn’t like their behavior
                    e. Got others to join you in telling the speaker to stop

   3. Has someone you know verbally put down their boyfriend or girlfriend in front of you?
         No (skip to #4)
         Yes, and I thought it was OK
         Yes, and I thought it was not OK
           If you answered “Yes,” what did you do? (Check as many boxes as apply)
                   a. Laughed
                   b. Did nothing, but didn’t walk away
                   c. Walked away
                   d. Said something to the speaker to show you didn’t like their behavior
                   e. Got others to join you in telling the speaker to stop

    4. Has someone you know physically hurt their boyfriend or girlfriend in front of you (like pushing,
slapping or grabbing roughly)?
          No (skip to the next page)
          Yes, and I thought it was OK
          Yes, and I thought it was not OK
            If you answered “Yes,” what did you do? (Check as many boxes as apply)
                     a. Laughed
                     b. Did nothing, but didn’t walk away
                     c. Walked away
                     d. Said something to the person to show you didn’t like their behavior
                     e. Got others to join you in telling the speaker to stop
                                                                                                                      104

D. Name at least three qualities, actions, or attitudes you associate with being:
Male ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Female __________________________________________________________________________________________________


E. Do you consider these characteristics healthy, unhealthy, or neutral?
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________


F. Please circle your answers:
   Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend?       YES    NO
   Do you currently have a boyfriend or girlfriend?   YES    NO        If “YES,” how long have you been dating this
person?
   Have you ever been physically, emotionally, or                                     __________________
       sexually hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend?    YES    NO
   Did you seek help?                                 YES    NO
   Have you ever physically, emotionally, or
       sexually hurt a boyfriend or girlfriend?       YES    NO




If you have had a boyfriend or girlfriend in the last 2 months, please continue answering questions on the next
page. Otherwise, you’re finished!
                                                                                                             105


 G. During the last 2 months, has your boyfriend or girlfriend:   Yes   No   Don’t    How Did You Respond?
                                                                             Recall
1. called you nasty names?

2. harassed you using phone calls or texting?

3. yelled at you?

4. followed you around when you said not to?

5. ignored you?

6. flirted with your best friend?

7. put you down in front of your friends?

8. hit or pushed you?

9. harassed you using the computer, such as through
   email, Facebook, or MySpace?

10. pushed you to do more sexually than you wanted?
                                                                                                            106



 H. During the last 2 months, have you done any of the   Yes   No     Don’t    How Did He or She Respond?
        following to your boyfriend or girlfriend:                  Remember
1. called them nasty names?

2. harassed them using phone calls or texting?

3. yelled at them?

4. followed them around when they said not to?

5. ignored them?

6. flirted with their best friend?

7. put them down in front of their friends?

8. hit or pushed them?

9. harassed them using the computer, such as through
   email, Facebook, or MySpace?

10. pushed them to do more sexually than they wanted?
                                                                                                                         107



B. With your boyfriend/girlfriend (now or in the future)        Very likely   Likely   Not       Somewhat   Not likely
                how likely are you to …                                                sure        likely     at all
1. deal with arguments calmly and fairly.
2. openly talk about what you want.
3. say when you feel hurt or upset with his/her opinions.
4. show respect when you disagree with his/her opinion.
5. control your temper when she or he is angry with you.
6. accept reasonable criticism from him or her without
   getting really upset.
7. control your temper when you are angry.
8. control feelings of jealousy.
9. work out conflicts so you both “win.”



                 C. Check whether you Agree, Disagree or are Unsure                           Agree   Disagree Unsure
1. In a relationship between a male and a female, the male should make the most
   important decisions.
2. Females can be perpetrators of dating violence.
3. I have the necessary knowledge to have healthy relationships.
4. I notice when movies or TV shows contain stereotypical characters.
5. I know what to do when I witness teen relationship abuse.
6. I can explain about teen relationship violence to others.
7. I notice when music has lyrics that are violent or disrespectful to women.
8. I have the necessary skills to have healthy relationships.
9. I believe I am able to have healthy relationships.
108
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