The drive home seemed so quiet. My first encounter with having a much smaller
household was our lunch stop just outside Dallas. The waitress asked “how many?” and I
almost blurted out four but quietly said,” three.” It had taken me a year and a half to get
used to saying four instead of five. I was now working on three.
Two pairs of eyes now settled on the “only” child still left with mom and dad. We are a
small unit but still a unit. I catch myself trying not to ask so many questions about his day
which used to be shared by two brothers. As a matter of fact he used to complain that we
didn’t give him enough attention now we are probably overdoing it. I see a lot of excuses
to get out from underneath those two pairs of eyes that stare him down and all those
There are so many signs that life has changed in our household. I go by two empty
rooms where music used to blare and a “hey mom,” was yelled for all to hear. I found the
comforter for the bed that was never made. The rooms are eerily quiet and very tidy. I
never knew we had a full size rug in one as clothes were always the current floor
covering. Laundry is a breeze now. What used to take two days to wash and fold now
takes less than an hour. The sixteen year old has taken on his in preparation for his escape
in two years. Grocery shopping has also been a big change. I used to have two carts full
of bags. Now I can use those cute recyclable bags that all the stores are promoting. They
all fit nicely in one cart.
My hardest time of noticing that “our nest” is getting smaller is at night. Late at night I
always went around and did my “mom check” to see that all my sons were safely in bed.
My walks are now going by empty rooms remembering little boys who played with
legos, hot wheels and game boys. One room left with a forehead to kiss and I know that
time will go by so quickly.
I am very grateful that technology has enabled us to stay in contact with our far away
fledgings. If anything it makes me feel better to see an e-mail, text or call from them. I
know their younger brother appreciates it. Most important they get to see their beloved
pet, (which they seem to miss the most) with picture phones.
Letting go is a part of doing your job as a parent. Though it’s hard you know you’ve done
the right thing and they know they are ready to go. When our cowboy left us on “goodbye
day” he turned to me and said,” Don’t worry mom you both have raised me the right
way,” I knew in my heart he was right.
The hardest part is the letting go for another part of their childhood is gone and can’t be
captured again. That’s the part that makes me the saddest. I look forward to the holidays
coming and Thanksgiving isn’t that far off. Until then I think it’s time for a text
Cowboy Mom to Devin class 2012